we choke


Love is Life
27 June 2017

This post looks like it’s all about food and it is in part, because food sustains life, it gives pleasure and comfort, it brings people together. So does love. Grief brings people together too.

Hold your dear friends close and your family even closer. Today my day did a U-turn. Work and workouts halted with a text from two parents, inviting friends to say goodbye to their beautiful daughter, a gorgeous young woman we’ve known since she was a kindy kid with My Girl. Words can’t convey the emotional pain we feel for her family and for anyone who walks in their shoes. As a mother, I can feel a piece of her mother’s heart being torn out. Your babies are of you. We are a choking.

My Girl & her primary school bestie’s mama - who is forever my firm friend - propped each other for the visit. It was right to go. Our friends communicated this: “…what we do know is we will keep her wrapped in a blanket of love until she is ready. Everyone is of course always welcome to pop in and spend some time with her, helping to make that special blanket.” I thought that was lovely. They seemed so fragile yet strong and brave today.

My Bestie & I had coffee afterwards and I took a selfie and photos of my food like I always do. Same on the outside different on the inside. I made delicious oriental chicken parcels for dinner, accompanied by water not wine. My Girl got a free 2L water canteen with her new footy boots. It is humongous next to my 500mL glass. The Husb is pretending to be shocked in the background. He’s drinking beer.

After 10 days alcohol-free this month, I enjoyed several glasses of pinot noir hosting a dinner last Thursday, and lapsed into nightly imbibing for five days. This morning I noticed my dewy skin and big eyes had been eroded and I’d gained 600g. In five days. Back to temperance as of tonight. I’ve always said everything in moderation but one has to be able to moderate. The negative effect of alcohol on my bowel is significant (and thoroughly researched). I have to accept that ‘moderation’ is too much and less is better.

I close today with these thoughts: Life is spectacular. Life is tragic. Life is ordinary. Live and love now. Enjoy small things. Life is precious. 😇🌈


Oh, you slay me, tiger.
You are the fly in my soup.
You are the eyelash in my eye.
You are so busy blowing out bad vibes in every direction that we are all choking on your second-hand smoke!

-beret girl cosplay (Ig: kieraplease)

Another humans are weird/space orcs idea that came to me while trying to drink water upside down:

Humans are apex predators. We’re unbreakable and relentless and legion and lethal. Nothing gets to us- except us.

It’s the stupidest little things that can stop up a human.

Many aliens have theorized about this. Perhaps with no natural enemies, the species tried to threaten them with themselves in a desperate search for some kind of challenge. Maybe it’s cosmic karma for being nigh unstoppable. Maybe they had transcended so much that the nuances of life were tiny and incomprehensible to them. Maybe it’s natural selection trying to thin the herd.

Whichever the cause, it’s a strange combination of disturbing and amusing to see a human be defeated by itself. It’s a little alarming to see the most resilient and powerful species in the universe be completely shut down with things that pale in comparison to their normal challenges.

Seeing a human function almost completely fully with several broken bones… but absolutely crippled and reduced to using one arm when faced with a large hangnail.

My dad broke his leg in a snowmobile accident in such a way that the bone was sticking out of his leg. He crawled a half mile in the snow to the nearest house to ask for help. But when he stubs his toe on the coffee table every few weeks, it’ll bring him to his knees.

I recently got a double conch piercing done- two massive needles shoved through the thickest cartilage in my ear, one right after the other. I’ve got 5 other piercings. None, not even the conch, hurt as much as getting a single hair yanked out of my head.

I see people eat some of the world’s hottest foods all laced with capsaicin which can kill things, and drink alcohol that’s literally poisonous, and break pen cases with their teeth. But a too cold slush drink? Unable to talk or move, head between the knees, for about two minutes, because brain freeze. Or, better yet, sometimes we literally choke on spit. Nearly asphyxiate. Because we regularly ‘swallow down the wrong hole’. 

Alien: Why did you say, last month, that your broken ribs and arm and massive blood loss was ‘fine’, but when you got a paper cut today, you cried for ten minutes and now still refuse to unwrap your wound? It is tiny in comparison to some things that you’ve faced without hesitation.

Human: Honestly it’s really stupid and I don’t really know, but I will swear up and down and until the day I die, a broken bone hurts way less than a paper cut.

Alien: But… no. It’s not worse. It… that doesn’t make sense.

Human: I know, right? But it’s true.