Glad you asked, anon.
Here we go, (spoilers -duh)
- That first episode was AWFUL. Worst of the show by far - and considering how good the first episode of season 2 was (great suspense, great pacing, well directed) it was shocking how bad the opener of the new season was (Poorly paced, overly simplistic scenarios and the flashbacks … oh my god were those flashbacks stupid – “Oh nicki’s mom is bad, because she didn’t read the card” - is this a crap kids movie I’m watching, jesus. Thank god Nicki got a much more complex flashback later on. And what the fuck was that flashback with Healy? That was so ridiculous and out of nowhere that it looked like something from a comedy or american horror story.
- Loved Taystee becoming the mom of the group - and Taystee and Suzanne’s relationship was great … but … where’s the Taystee and Poussey’s friendship gone? They were my favourites and they hardly had any stuff together this season.
- I love Flaca! Her character was a great addition to the season and I’m glad they gave her more depth.
- The scene with Nicki in the van was brilliant, very well acted - one of the best moments of the season.
- I don’t really get the whole Norma-as-a-religion thing. It just seemed kind of weird but also kind of boring. It wasn’t normal enough to be taken seriously but also not strange enough to be funny or interesting.
- Red + Mr Healy … excuse me while I throw up.
- I don’t care about Piper’s brother and his wife. I. dont. care.
- Piper is TERRIBLE. Not even in a good way.
I actually liked Piper in 1+2, she wasn’t my favourite but she served the story and I appreciated the writers letting Piper make mistakes and be called out on them - it made her feel real and flawed.
But after this season, I could barely stand to watch any scene with her. She was so annoying. One minute she’s angry at Alex, then she’s fucking her, then she’s pissed off at Alex for being scared for her life and goes to the next white conventionally attractive woman to fuck – and every little thing she complained about made me roll my eyes into my skull. She was rude to Red, Alex and Flaca for no fucking reason and I don’t know why I should care about her.
Also, I have no clue who Ruby Rose is but … I don’t care. Stella was boring. I can’t believe that characters like Poussey, Suzanne and Daya got shoved aside so that this pretty girl with tattoos could flirt with Piper.
Also this whole “piper turns to the dark side” thing – Piper is not Walter White. She’s not Cersei Lannister. She’s not even Draco Malfoy. Piper cannot pull off being this hardass mastermind - because she’s not. She’s a whiny, waspy, skinny, condescending know-it-all who is out of her depth - not a badass, slow talking, soul crushing monarch, she doesn’t have the presence for that.
- Pennsatucky and Big Boo were great - the actresses have a great chemistry and their relationship felt very natural. Loved watching them.
- Everything with Black Cindy was golden.
- Why did Caputo have an episode? Why?
- Why did Bennett have an episode? What did we need to know about him that we didn’t already know?
- Speaking of Bennett - WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GO??
- I think the audience deserved to see a proper birth scene with Daya since it’s been built up for so long now and yet it was glossed over so quickly, I almost forgot it happened.And apparently the show forgot about John because hardly anyone mentions his absence.
- That girl who wants a romance with Suzanne - where did she come from? In fact, where did that storyline come from? I don’t care about this random girl wanting to have sex with Suzanne - what about Suzanne’s relationship with her parents - you know, that thing that the writers have been building up to?
- The Suzanne-writing-erotica-but-everyone-gets-into-it storyline was dumb. I’ve seen storylines like this used for filler in other shows and this show should be better than that - and it went on f o r e v e r too.
- Whoa I almost completely forgot about the story involving Caputo managing deal with that guy and his Dad and all the business meetings concerning the prison …. I wonder why? Probably because it was boring as fuck and a waste of screentime.
- Overall not as good as season 1 + 2 - but had enough redeeming qualities to ensure that I keep watching
(If you disagree - that’s totally cool. This is just my opinion)