we are the best at denial

You Deserve Punishment pt.2 (M)

Description: You never wanted to see them again, you couldn’t bare facing them in the eyes. Not after what you witnessed. It would forever haunt you. Why? Because you discovered their dirty little secret; Park Jimin was the lover of Min Yoonji, who was actually a man.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader x Yoongi

Genre: Smut (M), angst, university!au

Word Count: 8,046

A/N: This is the direct continuation to the first part of “You Deserve Punishment”. Please read the first part, if you haven’t already, or else you’ll be confused. Extreme vulgar language use. Graphic descriptions of sex. (blowjobs, penetration, food play, anal, etc). Threesome, bondage, and overstimulation (rough) is in this story. Heavy dom/sub undertones. Some yaoi (boyxboy). This is a mature read! You have been warned!

Originally posted by bellahasjams

“The reason I wanted you to leave is because I couldn’t control myself from you. Every time I see you, all i want is to bend you over and fuck you till you beg for me to stop………But you’ve disappointed me Y/n. You disrespected your oppa. You’re so bad….… and bad girls deserve punishment.”


You freeze when he tells you this. Control himself from you? He wants to do what with me? What the hell is going on? He…. has to be lying…….he hates me. “You’re lying…” you say shaking your head. How could he even be attracted to you?

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Good Little Angel

Word count: 2,034

Warning: smut, little bit of fluff, teasing, dom!Lucifer, sub!Lucifer

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader

Summary/Request: Thank you @curlyxtomato for your request!

Lucifer has to help the Winchesters but there is some awkwardness when Y/N realises that he is an old hook up of hers. Leads to some passionate sex and a lot of teasing and self-denial.

Originally posted by lucifersagents

“We’re working with you, not because we want to, but because we have to.” Dean sighed.

You were currently sitting beside an agitated Sam who was trying his best not to look over the table at none other than Lucifer himself.

“It’s good to see you guys too.” Lucifer grinned. You scoffed. Immediately his head spun round to see you, now trying to sink into your seat subtly. “Oh I know you love having me around Y/N. You find me irresistible.” He almost sneered at you.

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Melissa the Matchmaker (Can't Find Them in a Crowd)

Melissa: I can’t find Zack! This calls for desperate measures.

Melissa: *cups hands over mouth to make a megaphone and screams* OH MY GOSH DID THAT CHANDELIER JUST FALL ON THAT KID WITH THE SWEATER VEST?!

Zack: *runs all the way to Melissa* WHERE IS MILO?! I-IS HE OKAY?! *extremely worried*

Melissa: Found him. Milo is perfectly fine, Zack

Zack: Oh thank go-

Melissa: *mumbles* But seriously tho when are you gonna admit you like him?

Zack: what? o///o

Melissa: what? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.

I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)

But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.

Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie… 

Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers… do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)

I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:

Dean – Mr White (duh)

Mary – Mr Pink

Wally – Mr Brown

Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here

Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)

Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)

Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:

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My Carry On Fics - Masterlist

Here’s a list of all of my Carry On/Snowbaz fics for those requesting! (:

And find me on ao3!

Domestic Drabbles: A Series

1: Chocolate and The Sun - 0.7k

He steps through two beams of evening light filtering in through the windows, and for a moment, he looks radiant. 

2: Blanket Pirates - 0.5k

Baz is a sharp bloke, and I don’t mean because of his fangs.  

3: Curtains - 0.4k

The cruel irony about dating Simon Snow is that I’m a vampire dating the sun. 

4: Two Couches and A Turtle - 0.7k

It wasn’t my idea to buy two sofas. There was absolutely no point when the one we have is perfectly comfortable and spacious. But Penny insisted.

5: Locks and Wildflowers - 0.7k

But nothing I saw could compare to this beautiful arrangement. It’s simple and delicate, like each flower placed had its own purpose. 

6: It’s Not London - 1.9k
(Part 1) (Part 2)

But now, Baz is standing in front of me, in the doorway of my bedroom, looking like he might cry at any moment, and I immediately decide to break my rule.

7: The Hufflepuff Who Lived - 1.1k

Bunce snorts. “I don’t buy that for a second, Baz. You may exude Slytherin on the outside, but you’re just as bad as Simon. I think” —she locks her eyes with mine— “that you’re a Hufflepuff.”

8: A Place For Everything - 1.7k
(Part 1) (Part 2)

“Simon, have you noticed how Baz has so much stuff here?”

9: Simon Snow and The Spiderman Boxers - 1.0k

Back at Watford, if someone had told me that one day I would be doing Simon Snow’s laundry while he just sits around, I would have laughed in their faces and asked what sort of enslavement spell he was planning on using against me.

10: You Shouldn’t - 3.1k
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Agatha is visiting England for a few weeks, so Penny insisted she come over. I might be fine, or even somewhat excited, to see her. But Baz on the other hand…

11: But I’m Spiderman - 0.2k 

“Okay,” he says. “But I’m Spiderman.”

Secret Admirer - 1.5k

Simon had a secret admirer in sixth year. Years later, Penny finally figures it out.

The Front Seat - 1.3k

Baz is not looking forward to a trip with his aunt.

The Grey Suit - 2.2k

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Simon looks stunning in a grey suit. But Baz would never tell him that.

The Room Underneath - 0.3k

“Rhys and Gareth, the boys who live in the room under mine, are sitting at our table already, at the far end.” - Simon

Just how thin are the floors at Watford? And what conversations are heard by the room underneath?

Merciless - 3.0k

It’s not like I haven’t thought about moving further with Snow. Quite the opposite, really. Quite the opposite. (nsfw)

Hands - 0.1k

Some people say that the best way to find happiness is to travel the world with the one that you love.

Three Years - 0.3k

“Three years, Niall. Three fucking years we’ve had to keep this a secret.” (a deniall fic)

My Silent Pleas - 3.3k/? (Ongoing)

(Prologue) (1)

“We are going to be learning a basic communication spell,” Miss Possibelf said. “This spell will allow you to connect with someone for a brief moment, and be able to write notes to each other on your skin. Wherever you write on your own body will appear in the same spot as the person you are connected with.”

Pero Es Algo - 0.5k

Baz dice que yo me siento extraño porque ahora tengo mi propia habitación. Porque no tengo que compartirla con nadie.

The Truth Comes Out

Pairing: Dean x Reader 

Word Count: 2,352

Summary: The reader’s quiet night at home is interrupted when Dean shows up looking bruised and bloody. 

“Thank god I live alone.” You grumble to yourself, thankful no one’s around to witness your behavior. You’re lazily sitting on your kitchen counter in a ridiculous onesie stuffing your face.

You twist open an Oreo, put a scoop of chocolate ice cream then add whipped cream and chocolate syrup. While singing along to the radio, you smoosh the Oreo back together and shove it into your mouth.

You’re really baffled as to why you’re not married yet. Your boyfriend would be crazy to not lock down all of this sexiness. Realizing it’s almost time for a new episode of Scandal, you make way towards the couch.

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Aftermath | Jughead x Reader

Request: please do an imagine where the reader and jughead has just broken up and they make up in the end
A/n: This is like stages of after a breakup, I had so much fun writing this. I hope you still like it, even though they don’t get back together.

Part 2

Originally posted by purple-pizzaprincess

1. Denial 

Jughead: stop texting me y/n, we broke up.

Y/n: right. im sorry.

Your boyfriend had just broken up with you a couple days ago, but he wasn’t just your boyfriend. You two have been best friends for 10 years now, maybe you thought it was stronger then the 7 month relationship. Turns out it wasn’t. Jughead didn’t want anything to do with you, probably because he has Betty now. You were flabbergasted, 10 years of friendship and he threw it all away.

2. Sadness 

He threw it all away, all the memories, all the fun. Every up and downs you two went through. Jughead threw it all away, by now the tears were kicking in. “He- y/n what’s wrong?” You looked over to see your Best Friend, Cheryl Blossom looking at you with a worried face.

You were about to break, but before you could you were brought in a tight hug. “He threw it all away Cher… he threw it all away.” It took so much effort forming those words, it was hard to understand, “everything will be okay, I’m right here and I’m not throwing anything away.“ 

Those words cut you like a knife, Cheryl was your only friend at the moment, you have met the twin when you were only a couple months old, she has never left you. She was your other half. 

3. Anger

He threw it all away. The 10 years of effort, he threw all of it away. You’ve spent the afternoon crying in Cheryl’s comfort. But you weren’t sad no more, hell no. You were fuming. HOW COULD HE THROW AWAY 10 YEARS!You have spent 10 years of your life to get dumped. I DONT THINK SO.

Y/n: Fuck you! I put so much freaking effort in for this friendship and you’re just gonna throw it away. 10 freaking YEARS! You’re a cold hearted cunt, have fun with your new best friend. Hopefully she doesn’t waste 10 years of her freaking life.

You have just hit send, Cheryl looking over your shoulder has been reading the whole thing. "Don’t worry y/n, he’ll realize how stupid he is soon enough. Just wait." 

3. More Sadness 

It was now Wednesday and whole school happens to know about your break up. You didn’t really give any craps, considering it was a small town and the people here like to gossip. Every once in a while a student that you have never seen comes up to you and ask if you were okay.

As of the core four, they couldn’t even look at you in the eye. Jughead felt guilt, knowing time was very important to you and you have felt he has wasted it.

Betty felt sadness, she blamed herself for stealing your boyfriend and ruining your friendship. The two of you weren’t all that close, but she knew if she didn’t have anyone to go to she could count on you. She didn’t have that anymore.

Archie felt like a crap friend, you two considered each other best friends. He knew there was something going between Jug and Betty, but he thought nothing of it. Now he knows he should have went to you right at the beginning of the feeling.

And as for Veronica, she felt anger. You were one of the very first to welcome her to the squad and town. She knew something was going on between Betty and Jughead and she never spoke a word to you. She was angry at herself and her two friends.

The core five have turned into four and it will never be the same again. And they knew it. You were now a Vixen now, always have been, but that’s the crew you hang with now. And you fit in perfectly. You were always a popular, but you didn’t control it like Cheryl and Chuck.

"Are you okay?” Yet again a random student has come up to you and asked you that very question. “I’m fine.” The student has left and you continue putting books in your locker.

“Your face doesn’t look okay.” Reggie, of course. “What do you want R?” You and Reggie have always been friends considering of his stuff with Jug. Oh, Jug. “I don’t want anything, I just come to tell you that your pain is showing. That’s all." 

And with that he walked away, he might be a jerk but he definitely wasn’t stupid. You took a deep breath knowing if you didn’t, you were going to break. And you couldn’t have that.

5. Acceptance

After that little thing with Reggie, your parents let you stay at home for the rest of the week. They knew how important Jughead was to you and understand what you were going through. It was Monday again, you felt good. The last two days you and Cheryl redecorate your room, get new sets of clothes and makeup. You felt fresh. Everything was finally looking up.

You wore a purplish - gray kind of top dress, knee high boots with a heal, a black cowboyish necklace. As for your makeup you kept it natural and your hair was curled. After getting ready you went downstairs ate your breakfast and waited for Cherly and her car. 


You got out of the car and you felt all eyes were on you. You felt good, you felt like a new person. They just thought they were just looking at you, looking if you were okay. And honestly, you are.You opened the doors of hell and heads turned, you walked that hallway with power and confidence. Cheryl walked a little behind knowing you needed this attention. You were okay and you did a great damn way of showing it. 

Addict With A Pen (with rain empty arena edit)
Twenty One Pilots
Addict With A Pen (with rain empty arena edit)


We haven’t talked in quite some time

I know

I haven’t been the best

Of sons


I’ve been traveling in

The desert of my mind

And I

Haven’t found a drop

Of life

I haven’t found a drop

Of you

I haven’t found a drop

I haven’t found a drop

Of water


I try desperately to run through the sand

As I hold the water

In the palm of my hand

Cause it’s all that I have

And it’s all that I need and

The waves of the water

Mean nothing to me

But I try my best

And all that I can to

Hold tightly onto

What’s left in my hand

But no matter how

How tightly I will strain

The sand will slow me down

And the water will drain

I’m just being dramatic

In fact,

I’m only at it again

As an addict with a pen

Who’s addicted to the wind

As it blows me back and forth

Mindless, spineless, and pretend

Of course I’ll be here again

See you tomorrow

But it’s the end of today

End of my ways

As a walking denial

My trial was filed as a crazy

Suicidal head case

But you specialize in dying

You hear me screaming


And I’m lying here just crying

So wash me with your water



We haven’t talked in quite some time

I know

I haven’t been the best

Of sons


I’ve been traveling in

The desert of my mind

And I

I haven’t found a drop

Of life

I haven’t found a drop

Of you

I haven’t found a drop

I haven’t found a drop

Of water

Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler sentence starters

“This obituary is filled with errors - most importantly - I AM NOT DEAD!“

“The world is quiet here.”

“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” 

“Our love broke my heart…and stopped yours.”


“I have a long list of things I’d rather not do.”  

“I was in deep denial, and I’m not talking about a river in Egypt.“

“Could it be that our ______ is unreliable?”

“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”  

“…and that’s why we broke up.”

“The thing with your heart’s desire is that your heart doesn’t even know what it desires until it turns up.” 

“When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.”  

“S/he gave me a hug and for a second I was embraced by a body that makes me want to go home and never eat again.”

“Sometimes words are not enough.” 

“Everyone tells you it’s all right to cry, but not enough people say it’s all right if you don’t want people to know.”  

“There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.”  

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

“You, meanwhile, are often dressed like a slob, and spend your days serving coleslaw.”

“Imagining the worst doesn’t keep it from happening.”  

“Well this isn’t too bad, I don’t have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I’m left-handed or right-handed.”

“You don’t spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.”  

”When something simple and true takes you by surprise, it hits you in the stomach.”

“It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.” 

“Of course you can trust me - we read the same books.”

“You might be afraid of the _____, but the _____ is not afraid of you. That’s why the _____ is always close by.” 

“The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.”  

“Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again. ”

“They say love’s like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.”

“Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.”  

“But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us.”

“The only thing that made sense of the world was you.”

“Once more, this is love: it rings and you open up…unless it looks like an ax murderer.” 

“I want you to love me in particular.”

“I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.”

“Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.”

“No reality has the power to dispel a dream.”  

““Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world.”

“It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.” 

“Summer without you is colder than Winter, and Winter without you is even colder.”

“’Finders keepers’ is what they say, and I wanted to be kept.” 

“Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.”  

“We steal the happiness of others in order to be happy ourselves, and when it is stolen from us we voyage desperately to steal it back.”  

“He who wants the world must first escape from it.” 

“It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.”  

Scorpius: We are friends.

Albus: The best of Friends.

Hermione: The gayest friends.

Ginny: The gayest boyfriends.

Ron: The gayest husbands.

Harry: The gayest soulmates.

Draco: The definition of gays.

Lily: The gayest in Hogwarts.

James: The gayest of all gays.

Hugo: The gayest gays.

Rose: The gayest denial.

Delphi: The gayest to infinity.

Snape: The gayest for always.

Professor McGonagall: The gayest to end all gays.


You lift your shirt to reveal to them the reason you’re fainting so often ever since you escaped the Scorch. “I thought I could cure this but apparently I’ll have to kill myself before I even make it somewhere safe.” You said half chuckling. Everyone around you gasped when they saw the bite on your hip. “Y/N…” Minho said with a sad voice and you swore you saw a tear roll down his cheek. He wasn’t the only one about to cry. “Teresa give me the gun.” You said while extending your hand towards her. She shook her head in denial, crying as she registered the fact that her best friend will kill herself sooner or later. “Thomas, what are we going to do?” She said with a cracked voice. Thomas didn’t look at her, his eyes fixed on the blood stained shirt of yours.

“Thomas you know I have to do this right?” You said, not bothering wiping away the tears that blurred your vision. He finally looked at you, tears welling up his eyes as well. He didn’t say anything, he just hugged you so tightly, like he was never going to see you again, which that’s what’s going to happen. Hugging him back, you found comfort in his arms and your death didn’t feel like a big of a deal for a second. All the once Gladers surrounded you in a group hug. “Survive for me.” You said and pulled back.

Thomas and Newt stopped every now and then contemplating whether they should go back for you or not. That went on for five minutes until a loud bang was heard from the place they spent the previous night in, and stopped dead in their tracks. Newt didn’t show any emotion until that very moment, when your existence upon earth had come to its end. He fell to his knees, giving up on himself, bawling his eyes out along with the others because they lost the only person that gave them hope. They lost their Y/N, and they were going to avenge her.

text starters from my phone

(most of these I dug into the archives of FB messages from college years)

[text] Have fun tonight!!!
[text] I’m about to get my hair dyed purple
[text] Impromptu tattoos anyone?
[text] I was thinking in person cause I don’t want to half ass apologize through text
[text] Oh my god. I’m so sorry.
[text] Are you there?
[text] I will never say no to pizza
[text] I have a big [lesbian/gay] crush on _______ and I have no idea why
[text] I am going to fill in my eyebrows and get the fuck out of here for a while. Fuck this
[text] I don’t know why you think you have to explain yourself when it’s pretty clear what went down.
[text] I made it worse, I’m so sorry
[text] I fucked up and wasn’t thinking of your feelings.
[text] I can’t wait to see you.
I am unbelievably angry at you right now
[text] I need coffee or weed or sleep, not sure which one
[text] I drunk texted _______ last night
[text] I get it. i’ve kind of been sort of cold, distant, and extremely ambiguous.
[text] No worries. I figured you were just crazy busy.
[text] So are we ever going to have sex again
[text] I guess I’ll fuck [hm/her/them].
[text] It wasn’t fair for me to get so mad.
[text] I’m so pissed off I could punch someone
[text] Don’t punch anyone, talk to me instead.
[text] If you kept kissing me like that I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself
[text] Are you and _______ official yet?
[text] I was just trying to do this right but not going to push anything.
[text] thinking of you makes me awake cause my heart beats more and other romantic stuff
[text] It’s clear I was interested in you much more than you were in me
[text] I hate being happy and having crushes
[text] i wanted to be with you for a while but we were separated by a lot of stuff
[text] If you’re going to tell me I’m awesome one day and then ignore me the next I really don’t need that
[text] I honestly want to know how many jars of peanut butter I singlehandedly ate this year
[text] I’m like half functional adult half total trainwreck
[text] My first engaged ex - “ex” used very loosely
[text] I love being your neo-feminist best friend
[text] A picture of us popped up in my Timehop a couple of days ago and it made me think of you and how you were doing.
[text] If i became homeless, I’d be totally cool with living on the beach
[text] We’ll probably have some quick drinks and then hit up a club
[text] I am drunk and feel like a purple moon fairy
[text] You’re just in total denial of your feelings and need to grow up
[text] I’m totes going to kick your ass.
[text] I got my period PRAISE THE LORD
[text] They have been talking about meatballs for 30 minutes #ItalianFamilyProblems
[text] I woke up in a relationship and I am going to sleep single tonight.
[text] I may or may not have done something really bad.
[text] I always drop everything for you and you never, ever do the same.
[text] Breathe. I’m sure it will be fine.
[text] Young adjunct professor just asked me out for drinks…do you think he means like, lattes-drinks or DRANKS?
[text] I used think [he/she] was creepy as hell but now [he/she] is hot AF.
[text] Last night I went on a date with a fireman and he took me to his firehouse and I sat in the firetruck.
[text] I had a long vivid dream last night that was literally just about holding a baby.

Resist, but know what you're resisting.

Memes and SNL skits are just about all that’s keeping me sane during these ridiculous and contentious times. Comic relief is helpful but the author of the following op-ed piece brings up a valid point we should all keep in mind. This isn’t to say I’m going to stop posting jokes and I certainly won’t stop calling Trump out on his idiocy, but perhaps, for the good of the fight, I’ll refrain from pointing out his small ass hands and his terrible cheeto tan.

Someone actually tweeted at me suggesting that I refer to Trump as an “it” – a thing, rather than a person.

This is what the road to failure looks like.

The desire to dehumanize Trump is no different than the desire to call him “crazy.” I get it. Some of you REALLY want to distant yourselves, and all of humanity, from all that he is. But you can’t.

That ship sailed long before you were born.

Humanity can be wretched. ACCEPT THAT. Slavery, Nazism, Native genocide, and every other horror in the history books was perpetrated by a large mass of people. Entire populations were, at times, complicit or actively engaged with behavior people now want to define as aberrant, insane or inhuman.

Those masses – those actual purveyors of violence – were not insane. And they were not inhuman. They were the shadow side of human potential.

What we are at our best, and what we are at our worst, is all fundamentally human. That’s why Trump is so dangerous. Active support of fascism isn’t simply evolving in dark places, where depraved narcissists and sociopaths lurk. The rise of fascism is all around you. It has attained power, it is rewriting the laws and even its most shocking elements are being normalized.

The scariest part: All of this is human as fuck. Because human beings are capable of being ungodly awful. Mourn that if you must, but it’s time to accept it. Because your denial endangers us all.

Think tactically: The more time you waste trying to distance your humanity from Trumpism, by calling it insanity, or inhuman, the more ground we’ll lose. We are not fighting caricatures or mental illnesses, or abstractions. We are up against fascism, and it has literally seized control of the United States – a country with more fire power than the Third Reich ever imagined. Such forces must be seen and addressed, strategically, for what they are.

Resist the urge to uncomplicate what’s happening. Don’t fall back on, “he’s crazy,” or worse, “he’s not even human.” Instead, do the work of studying your opponent, not as a caricature, but as an actual enemy force that has its own culture building, community building and action-taking praxis. Because you will not dismantle those things by mocking Trump, or distancing yourself from human ugliness.

Like it or not, Trump is an example of what humanity can serve up. Prove we can also be the opposite, and let the “middle ground” of the spectrum fall somewhere between where they are and where we ought to be – not somewhere between this neoliberal hell and the America Trump is working to create. Because that spot somewhere between now and the full realization of Trump’s vision is the only compromise that establishment Democrats are going to offer – and that keeps us on the same track that brought us this low.

Resist, but know what you’re resisting. Name it. Understand it. And then organize to bring it down.

By Kelly Hayes


Caspar was the one to notice it.

He had lived with Joe for a year, and learned the ways of the older man quite well during those months, along with the time after they had moved away from each other. And there was no denying that Joe was different with one member of their group.

Caspar kept silent about it at first, simply observing, to make sure that he was right in his findings, before bringing it up with the group. And so he would watch Joe when he was around Jack, remaining abnormally quiet as he studied his former roommate, picking up on the subtle signs that hinted Caspar towards the secret that may lie underneath.

Joe was different with their small group of lads compared to others in his life, because he was around them so much and had grown to care quite deeply for them. But Caspar noticed that the way Joe treated Jack was different than that with Conor, or Oli, or even Caspar himself. And the South African knew that Joe already treated him in a special way, so to see it applied to Jack, but on a much more intimate level, Caspar knew.

When he figured it out, and was sure of his discovery, he turned to the rest of the group, sans Jack and Joe.

“I have a question for you guys,” Caspar asked casually one day when Oli and Conor were over, hanging out with Josh and him. Mikey was meant to be there as well, but was running late as per usual. Caspar would have waited for him to arrive, but they were all due to meet up with Joe and Jack soon, and the blonde didn’t want to waste any more time.

“Hit us with it, Casp.” Oli nodded, his eyes locked onto the TV screen where his and Josh’s FIFA game was currently displayed.

“Do you think Joe treats Jack differently?”

“What do you mean?” Josh glanced over at his oldest friend briefly, his eyes quickly darting back to the screen in time to defend his goal.

“Oh good,” Conor commented, “I’m not the only one to notice it.”

“What?” Oli paused the game as he and Josh gave their full attention to the other two.

“Joe is different around Jack.” Conor shrugs casually. “At first I worried, because I don’t want anyone treating my brother differently, even though I know he can be complicated, but then I realized that it wasn’t a bad different.”

“No,” Caspar shook his head, “Far from it. If anything, he’s…he’s…” He waved his hands in front of him, “Gentler with Jack.”

“Gentler?” Josh echoed.

“When we go out tonight,” Caspar leaned forward in his seat, his elbows braced on his knees, “Watch them. Joe will laugh louder at Jack’s jokes—“

“Even though they’re shit,” Conor snorted.

“And he’ll find a way to touch Jack. Or he’ll compliment him.” Caspar finished.

“Oh, and look at how he smiles at Jack. You thought he had a dopey smile looking at this one,” Conor hooked a thumb towards Caspar, “Wait until you notice the way he smiles at Jack.”

Josh and Oli nodded, both of them thinking back on past moments they may have missed between their mates, ready to do some observing later.

Only five minutes into dinner, Josh and Oli both shared a knowing look with Caspar and Conor, because it had only taken that long for them to catch on to what they meant in regards to Joe and Jack, who were both leaned in close to one another, talking and giggling softly to each other.

And when the dinner came to an end, with Joe and Jack catching a car back to their flats together, the other four quickly filled Mikey in, and began to form a plan.

It was time to make Joe and Jack realize what was going on as well.

“You want me to what??” Joe asked Caspar, staring at his former roommate in shock.

It had been decided that Caspar would talk to Joe alone, considering how close the two were, the boys figured it would be best if the older man heard the suggestion from his best friend.

“I want you to admit your feelings to Jack.” Caspar repeated simply.

“Feelings? I don’t have feelings for Jack!” Joe protested, his cheeks growing red, “Are you sure you’re alright, buddy?”

“Joe, you don’t have to hide anything.” The blonde frowned as he looked over at Joe, “All of us are wanting this.”

“But…but there’s nothing…” Joe said weakly, his denial failing.

“We see how you are with Jack,” Caspar lifted his lips from their frown into a small smile, “It’s kind of obvious.”

“It is?” The older man squeaked out, realizing that he had been caught.


“Oh.” Joe lowered his gaze to his lap, picking at a piece of thread in the knee of his jeans, “So what do I do?”

“Telling Jack would probably be a good start,” Caspar shrugged. “That way you two can stop dancing around each other and just be together.”

“What if…” Joe looked up at Caspar shyly, “What if Jack doesn’t like me back like that?”

The South African couldn’t stop the snort of laughter that slipped out, and he felt guilty as Joe glared over at him, but he’s quick to explain: “Joe, I wouldn’t worry. Jack looks at you the same way you look at him. He likes you. Trust me.”

“He does?” The nervousness faded off of Joe’s face, replaced by a small look of hope and excitement.

“Yes!” Caspar grinned, “Now go tell him!”

“Right now?!”

“Why not?”

“Because..I…I mean…” Joe spluttered, trying to think of an excuse, but he fell silent at the smug look on Caspar’s face.

“Go. There’s no point in wasting any more time.”

“Okay,” Joe smiled, standing from his spot. “And Caspar?”



“Any time. Now go get yourself a boyfriend!”

“I’m going!” Joe laughed, heading for the door, a thrill of excitement running through him.

TalesFromYourServer: Diary of a Petty Server: The Meatloaf that Got Away

With great service comes great responsibility.

It comes with the territory, pal. I mean, you’re dealing with one of the most hardcore life-driving forces in the fucking universe here: food. On top of that, you’re tasked with delivering this most sacred of nourishment to people in their most delicate state: hunger.

Hunger makes people do fucking weird shit. Like go to bed without eating and wake up as a different person shit. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hangrey type shit. I’ve seen outbursts of food-related madness that had me cowering in fear, fully expecting a demon made of cockroaches and hellspawn to erupt from a humansuit. I’ve witnessed a man go into apoplectic rage at the discontinuation of his favorite promotion, which led him to rip the offending menu to shreds with an assassin’s coldhearted efficiency. To shreds, you say? Aye, to absolute fucking confetti, which he then promptly stuffed into an innocent raspberry lemonade before bailing.

There’s a certain sort of primal anger that overtakes a person when they’re faced with a culinary crisis. But shit, all the world’s a stage, and all the humans merely players, and I’m about to play your mad hungry ass for a fool. Butter you up like a fucking biscuit and then set the record straight. This is me and you vs. the goddamn world, sir. You’re gonna have the epic experience you came here for if I have to douse hell and burn heaven to do it. That soup is cold? Of COURSE I’ll get you a freshie silly, and I’ll be fucking delighted to do so again in twenty minutes when you next extricate your head from your date’s ass. Your hot tea is too hot? I gotchu sir, I’m bout to beat this boiling water’s ass. There’s a stray piece of okra in your fries? We’re writing the goddamn Governor. And then you tuck them in and give them a binky, and they are none the wiser that you’ve successfully tugged the invisible strings connected to both the heart and wallet. Jedi Master of Bullshit strikes again.

I can deal with any fucker in a bad mood. At some point, you will leave, and you will either be touched by my efforts or utterly unmoved, in which case you were determined to be unhappy anyway. But you will be gone, and I will either chuckle or curse you, and that will be it.

If only Cowboy had gotten angry. That, I could nagivate. This…this was a new beast entirely.

Cowboy is a middle-aged gentleman at Table 122, dressed in a sort of bullrider’s chic. In the couple of minutes I spend with him at our introduction, I learn two things: he loves his horse Whisper, and he really loves our meatloaf. He and Whisper have been driving for six hours to get home from a competition, and for six hours he has impatiently looked forward to his prize. “You don’t understand, ma'am,” he says in a drawl. “I. Love. This. Meatloaf.”

Shit, everyone does, it’s fucking delicious. It’s one of the most popular menu items we have. There are days when I serve no other function than being a fucking choo-choo train for meatloaf plates. The more people love it, the more they order. The more they order, the faster we run out. The faster we run out…yeah, well, we’re still cooking the goddamn things at the same pace. The thing about food, it’s gotta cook.

I’ve already spent a fair portion of the day ruining people’s lives over the lack of meatloaf, and I’m not keen to do so again. I get Cowboy’s drink order, and tell him to think on his sides while I go touch base with the kitchen. I have a come-to-Jesus moment with the grill cook, making him bend down and look me in the fucking eye and tell me we have meatloaf. All’s well. Nine orders left for the night. Breathe a sigh of relief, hit up a sweet tea, scream for the 84th time for someone to bloody PLEASE get the To-Go phone, and make tracks for the table.

Cowboy’s tickled pink once I inform him that yes, sir, you can nom those meaty loaves until Kingdom Fucking Come. He fires off his sides and I get it on the books. Wait there, sir, we’re about to make some magic happen.

I return to the kitchen to enter the order, pleased as fucking punch that one of the lazy shitfritters has finally deemed to answer the phone. They finish up and I whip Table 122 into the system.

The ticket has barely chattered out of the machine when I hear the dreaded shout: “86 Meatloaf for the night!” I fly over to the window, mouth agape in horror…and I will be DAMNED!! Absolutely damned I say! Those lazy no-good ass-sucking To-Go creeps have ordered us out of meatloaf. Nine goddamned To-Go Meatloafs, already posing prettily in a line of black plastic containers. Surely eight of the fuckers could have cut off a tiny slice to assemble a decent hunk of meatloaf!

My panic is palpable. This man has been driving the highway for six fucking hours, with nothing to staunch the loneliness except the thought of our mouth watering meatloaf. I would rather be tied to Whisper, doused in lemon juice, and dragged through a field of cacti than go break the news.

Immediately I begin to think of a way out of this shithole. Do I bat my eyes and flirt up the cook? Jack one of the meatloafs and feign ignorance when questioned? Run shrieking out the back door into the night and never look back? All useless. As useless as the sad plate of okra, mac and cheese, and green beans that sits forlornly in the window, no meatloaf to be found.

Jesus hula-hooping Christ. This shit again.

I’m on the verge of a panic attack when the grill cook calls me over. He’s well aware of my everlasting battle with these pepper and onion stuffed fuckers, and in a fit of gallantry, he has found me a hunk of meatloaf. A smaller hunk than portion size calls for, true, but meatloaf nevertheless. I almost burst into tears at the news, and yes, fucking yes, I’ll comp the whole fucking thing and pay for it myself, as long as this man gets a couple of mouthfuls of his ketchup-coated desire. The cook slides the too-small loaf onto the plate of sides and sells the ticket.

I’m immediately aware of why this meatloaf was not counted in the original tally. I know meatloaf, and this meatloaf is all wrong. Not just small, but shriveled. Dry, crusted along the outside. I could have offered this meatolaf to the Donner Party and they still would have eaten each other. On my honor as a server, I cannot serve this to my guest.

It’s with a heavy heart I journey back to Table 122. Cowboy is smiling pleasantly at me, probably assuming I’m coming to check on his tea or assure him that yes, your meatloaf madness will soon be at an end.

There is no such happy ending.

I have the script memorized by heart. I’m insanely sorry, sir, but due to the fact that this meatloaf is, as you know, the best meatloaf fucking ever, we have unfortunately run out. Normally, there are two routes people take when I inform them that their culinary orgasm is not to be: nonchalant acceptance, or blood-vessel-popping rage.

But this…is new.

The denial sets in first. He stares at me blankly, head cocked quizzically to one side, as though unsure he has heard me correctly. “Are…you joking?”

“No sir,” I reply sadly. “If only Whisper had a few teammates, we could get the Delorean up to 88 miles an hour and go back to just before the To-Go phone rang. Can you believe it? Nine meatloafs spoken for in one To-Go order.”

I hope the half-hearted attempt at humor will break him from the haze, but his face remains impassive. “Nine? Nine whole pieces? In one order?”

“Yes, sir,” I reply, admittedly wrong-footed by the distinct disbelief to his tone. Visions of Whisper galloping alongside a minivan race through my head, and of course in the fantasy Cowboy is victorious, lassoing the whole fucking order through the open window. Reality, it seems, is far more dire.

I gently prod Cowboy for a replacement order; in his catatonic state, he rattles off a robotic backup, and I swear to God and sonny Jesus if we don’t have chicken and dumplings I’m burning this fucker to the ground. Ashes, I tell you!

It’s the fastest ticket we’ve ever sold. I shout down the cooks the moment I step into the back, and you can fuck yourself with the ticket for all I care, B. I’ll ring the bitch in when Cowboy is eating and not a goddamned moment before. Less than a minute later, I present Cowboy with his steaming hot dinner, an extra portion of mac and cheese on the side for good measure. He rouses enough to thank me politely, but shit, if I’d just been fucked by the meatloaf gods in such a cruel fashion, I wouldn’t be up for thanking me. Ten minutes minutes later, he’s to the point of a small smile and nod when I ask if everything tastes good. I top off his tea, leave the check, and sincerely wish him a great night.

I sadly return to the kitchen and join the team packing this thrice-damned meatloaf into the To-Go bags. A beep soon alerts us that the party is here to receive their order, and a coworker grumpily humps the three bags up to the cash stand. I trail out behind him, listlessly sorting menus, when I hear a wordless sound of despair. I glance up and freeze.

Cowboy is standing at the cash register, watching with sad eyes as Coworker pulls out and presents each meatloaf plate to the guest for his approval. Despite the fact that he has already paid, Cowboy waits and watches through the whole debacle. As do I.

As the last meatloaf is approved and paid for, Cowboy nods to the burly man now cradling the three steaming sacks. “Enjoy your dinner,” he says in a pleasant voice.

A god among mortals, this man. My heart cannot take much more…but It must, and as I hesitantly check my credit tips a few moments later, I am overtaken. A $10 tip on an $8 ticket. Over 100%.

Godspeed, Cowboy. Whenever you and Whisper may travel next, I fervently hope that there is meatloaf, more meatloaf than you could have ever dreamed possible.

By: DabblesInDirewolves

Goodbye Gravity Falls

Hey internet. I’ve got some tough news I have to deliver. Are you sitting down? Do you have a minute? Here, have this picture of a dachshund dressed as a crayon to relax:

Everyone good? Okay here goes.

There’s no easy way to say it so I’m just going to say it: Gravity Falls is coming to an end. There are two more episodes left: “Weirdmageddon II: Escape from Reality” and “Weirdmageddon III” which will be our hour long series finale. After that, Gravity Falls as we know it will be over.

I know how tough this will be for many fans, and I feel you guys. But before you start sending me .GIF’s of pitchforks and torches let me explain.

The first thing to know is that the show isn’t being cancelled- it’s being finished. This is 100% my choice, and its something I decided on a very long time ago. I always designed Gravity Falls to be a finite series about one epic summer- a series with a beginning, middle, and end. There are so many shows that go on endlessly until they lose their original spark, or mysteries that are cancelled before they ever get a chance to payoff.

But I wanted Gravity Falls to have a mystery that had a real answer, an adventure that had a real climax, and an ending that had a real conclusion for the characters I care so much about. This is very unusual in television and a pretty big experiment, and Disney for their part has been enormously supportive. I know that hits are rare in this business, and its hard to let one of them go, so I’m so grateful that this company has had the vision to let me start (and end) the show the way I always wanted to.

Why did we wait so long to announce that this was the last season? The truth is, it wasn’t up to me. Before we started Season 2, my writers and I decided that this season would be the last. I wanted to announce this to the world at large then, but I was restricted from doing so, mainly because I think a lot of people were hoping I’d change my mind.

But Gravity Falls was never meant to be a series that goes on and on forever. It’s meant to be an exploration of the experience of summer, and in a larger sense a story about childhood itself. The fact that childhood ends is exactly what makes it so precious- and why you should cherish it while it lasts.  

No words can describe how grateful I am for the millions of fans who have cherished Gravity Falls for the time that it’s been on air. Running a TV show, especially one where you write, direct, supervise, and co-star, can be an incredibly grueling experience. But every hand-written letter, tweet, tattoo, piece of art, costume and creation from the fans made this enormous undertaking worthwhile. To the Gravity Falls fandom- I love you guys. You’re weird and clever and smart and curious and have been a constant inspiration to me and the crew. You’ve picked us up when we felt down and pushed and inspired us to do the best work we possibly could. I hope you enjoy watching our finale as much as we enjoyed dreaming it up.

And if you don’t, keep it to yourself, pal! Yeesh!

Anyway, I know this will still be hard for a lot of fans to digest, so here’s a few FAQ’s for you guys.


Is this a prank? You’re a real prankster, you are!

Nah man, this is real. The first stage of grief is “denial”- that’s why there are people out there who think that Andy Kauffman and Tupac are hiding in the woods waiting to drop 2016′s sickest album. But this is the truth. Besides, just bumming out millions of people for no reason would be a pretty lame prank. My pranks are a lot better than that, give me some credit!

This sucks! I want to be mad at someone! Is there someone I can be mad at?

Being mad is easier than being sad, I get it! But there really are no villains here. My team and I set out to do something and we did it, and the network supported our crazy vision. If you wanna be mad at someone, blame…I don’t know… the goat. With his shifty eyes. This is all his fault. 

Are they going to make a third season without you? Will it be called “Gravity Falls Babies: The New Class: Generations?”

While that is an amazing idea, and you would make an amazing executive, there are no plans to create another full season.

What’s next for you? Are you going to ride the rails with your belongings in a sack, playing the harmonica, going wherever the wind takes you like some kind of tragic folk hero, perhaps named “Johnny Flannel-Britches?”

These questions are getting weirdly specific, guys. The truth is- I don’t know! I’ve spent the last 4 years living & breathing Gravity Falls. I’ve pulled more all-nighters than anyone I’ve ever known who didn’t work at NASA and basically holed myself up in my office to the exclusion of any sort of actual life. I already have some very exciting opportunities lining up on the horizon after I take a good vacation. We’ll see!

How can we continue to stalk follow your exploits?

You can continue to find me on twitter @_AlexHirsch. I’ll be tweeting all sorts of GF goodies leading up to the finale!

Will the last episode be exactly like my head canon?  If not, can I firebomb your house?

The jokes on you, because I don’t have a house! I live in a “shire.” But seriously- my team works insanely hard to make the best series we can.  Of course there’s no way to satisfy every single fan’s personal theories. But our show reflects a genuine sincere effort by some really talented folks to make the coolest thing we can (with the time and budget available.) Will every single conceivable question ever thought of about Gravity Falls be answered in the end? Of course not. But that just leaves some material for any potential Gravity Falls projects in the future…(including the canon Journal #3 that goes on sale in 2016)

Are you SURE you’ll never make more Gravity Falls?

I know that there will be many fans who will be sad to see the Pines family go, but just because I’ve finished the story I wanted to tell doesn’t necessarily mean we will never see Dipper, Mabel, & Stan again. It means that this chapter is closed, and that I, at least for now, am personally done telling their story.

I want to thank Disney, my amazing cast and crew, and most of all our fans for taking this unforgettable road trip with me through the redwoods into a place called Gravity Falls. I look forward to seeing what adventure we go on next.
Your pal,

Alex Hirsch

PS: pqxv tbfoa

PPS: Want to thank the cast and crew for the awesome job they’ve done? Feel free to use the #GravityFinale


A/N: Post-Infinite one shot, but I don’t think you have to read it to understand what’s going on in this one.  Definitely giving a shoutout to @gmwmeetsniall for asking about a post-Infinite one shot.  I never planned on doing it, but Ed decided to write the P E R F E C T song (haha, get it?). Fluff is not my strong suit, and I’m afraid it shows.  I hope you all like it anyway. <33

Song by: Ed Sheeran

Word count: 7,660

Pairing: Rucas

Rating: T

Lucas stood in front of the mirror in a desperate attempt to tie his tie.  Logically he knew that his reflection wouldn’t help the slight tremor of his hands, but at that moment, he was unable to think logically.  His hand shook a little more violently as he picked up the ends of the tie.  He wasn’t sure why he was reacting like this.  He wasn’t nervous at all and he wasn’t the least bit scared.  If anything, he felt more relaxed than he thought he would be—given the circumstances.

“About ten minutes,” Farkle said as he walked back into the dressing room.  He stood next to Zay as the two men watched Lucas fumble with the tie.  “How long as he been trying to tie it?”

“My guess is ten minutes,” Zay shrugged.  “It’s kind of entertaining.  You think he’s just about figured it out, but then one end falls and he has to start all over again.”

Lucas flipped the tie around for another moment before he growled in frustration.  Why was this happening?!

Farkle chuckled as he walked over to the Texan.  “You a little nervous,” he asked as he grabbed the tie.  He had never seen Lucas so flustered before.  It was quite a switch from the normally reserved veterinarian.

“No,” he huffed as Farkle slid the tie around his neck.  “How…how does she look,” he asked as a new wave of tranquility overcame him.  Just the mere thought of her seemed to put him at ease.  He looked down.  His hands still shook slightly, but not nearly as aggressively as they did a minute ago.  That was exactly the effect she had always had on him.  She calmed him, even if he were thousands of miles away.

Farkle smiled.  “You already know the answer to that.”  He finished the last loop.  “There.  Perfect.”

Lucas looked at himself in the mirror.  “I can’t believe it’s finally here,” he said as he examined his appearance.

“I don’t think any of us can,” Maya smiled from the doorway.

Lucas’s eyes snapped toward the blonde.  “Maya?  What are you doing in here?  Shouldn’t you be with—“

“The bride?”  She raised her eyebrows as she raised her right hand up.  In it, she held a folded piece of paper.  “As matron of honor, it’s my duty to make sure that the bride gets everything her heart desires today.”  She walked toward Lucas.  “She wanted me to give this to you.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i can't believe we were waiting 4 years just for THIS, i feel depressed and sad and i'm still in denial, how was it for you when you first read that ymir is dead?

Honestly still unsure how to feel. 

It all feels off. Momtaku put it best, it felt like characterization was sacrificed in order to keep the story going. We saw that with Historia’s odd reaction to the letter, we see it now with Ymir. On top of that, having to wait 4 years just for this kind of outcome is beyond disappointing. 

To be honest, it just pushes me further into the belief that Isayama is rushing the story to its conclusion. Between the constant time skips, characterization getting butchered in favor of pushing the plot further, it just feels like SnK has been losing itself. Ever since the basement. 

I will say this though, even though this felt like a huge waste of time, I can walk away knowing that I made a good number of friends along the way who all cared about Ymir and Historia as I did, and we’ll continue to be friends long after SnK is dead and forgotten. Ymir will always be in our hearts though, and in the story her presence will still be there in Historia through the words and ideals she left behind for her to push her to be who she is now.

I also get the feeling this isn’t the last we will see of Ymir, death hardly stops a character from being implemented further into a story, and who knows, maybe the paths will come up again and Historia can use that to have a proper goodby with Ymir. 

Washington Capitals Hogwarts Houses

Since I have no life I decided to sort the Washington Capitals into Hogwarts Houses! @idahobbit helped with most of these. I don’t expect people to agree with all of them because no one ever does but do I hope you enjoy them.

Ravenclaw - wit, creativity, originality

  • #19 - Nicklas Backstrom; how anyone can think he’s anything but a Ravenclaw is a mystery
  • # 92 - Evgeny Kuznetsov; our resident Russian wizard
  • #70 - Braden Holtby; god amongst men, saver of pucks 
  • #27 - Karl Alzner
  • # 90 - Marcus Johansson; there was disagreement about putting mojo here or in Gryffindor
  • #10 Brett Connolly
  • Bonus!: Barry Trotz; coaching extraordinaire

Gryffindor - bravery, daring, overrated

  • #77 - TJ Oshie; this man is all about courage and everyone knows it
  • #43 - Tom Wilson; he will fight you, he will win, and he will be justified in doing so
  • #44 - Brooks Orpik; injury prone but still throws himself into everyone, a very Gryffindor move
  • #26 - Daniel Winnik
  • #22 - Kevin Shattenkirk; he’s new so I could be completely wrong but he’s bros with Oshie so…
  • Bonus!: #13 - Jakub Vrana; I am attached to Vrana so I included him and he strikes me as a bright-eyed young Gryffindor ready to take on the world

Hufflepuff - hard working, friendly, loyal

  • #83 - Jay Beagle; he is the physical embodiment of all that is good about Hufflepuff and I will fight you about this
  • #65 - Andre Burakovsky; my all-time fav and the personification of friendship
  • #88 - Nate Schmidt; was this even a question? man is a Hufflepuff
  • #14 - Justin Williams; just a good Canadian boy
  • #4 - Taylor Chorney
  • Bonus!: #46 - Michael Latta, I am in denial about Latta leaving (he deserves better) so he’s here and Latts is such a Hufflepuff

Slytherin - ambitious, cunning, resourceful, best house

  • #8 - Alexander Ovechkin; Oh captain my captain, he’s got ambition for days
  • #20 - Lars Eller; he was so bitter about the Habs and so driven by spite I love it he’s such a Slytherin
  • #31 - Philipp Grubauer; this was another toss-up, we originally had him in Hufflepuff??? no.
  • #2 - Matt Niskanen
  • #74 - John Carlson; he always struck me as the perfect balance of resourceful and ambitious, he’s an A+ Slytherin
  • #9 - Dmitry Orlov