we are texans

  • <p> <b>Lance:</b> hi Keith your mullet is gross but you're good looking~<p/><b>Keith:</b> what in tarnation<p/><b>Lance:</b> ...<p/><b>Shiro:</b> don't worry I speak my lil bro's weird Texan he meant to say "what the hell"<p/><b>Lance:</b> that makes a lot more sense now...<p/></p>

Okay I didn’t want to say anything, but, I think it’s time that everyone faced reality. No one else is speaking up, so I’ve gotta.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts and comics and art about Lance making fun of Keith for being Texan recently. And as funny and cute as they are, that’s just wrong to me. It’s absolutely wrong. I mean, I’ve seen some serious mischaracterization of the Voltron crew before, but the fact that so many people have got it so wrong is just blowing my mind. We’ve got to face the facts people, Lance wouldn’t be making jokes about Keith being Texan.

Hunk would

See? :D


[Well not anymore since we’re approaching 200 somehow, but you get the drill.
Anyways, thanks for 100 followers! Here’s some Paladin centric HCs for you guys!]

★ Keith convinced Pidge to try on Allura’s crown while she wasn’t paying attention

  • It got stuck on her head and they panicked and tried to cut it off with Keith’s sword

★ The “””Bonding Moment””” is a meme forever engrained in paladin history

★ Pidge voice: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a lion should be able to fly

  • Lance, sliding across a table towards Keith: So, ya like jazz?

★ Everyone has seen high school musical so whenever they form Voltron, they scream the chant

★ Lance convinced everyone to do facemasks as a bonding exercise

★ Alteans never grow hair anywhere besides their head and face

  • Lance remembered all the time he’s spent shaving and cried

★ It’s an ongoing joke to lean towards Keith at random times to see if he’s turning purple yet

★ Shiro found a space Sephora in another space mall and broke down in tears while Keith just patted his back awkwardly

  • “Listen, I know it’s been a while, but people are staring. Shiro, get up, you’re the black paladin omg”

★ It’s a regular thing for Hunk to just carry another paladin around

Hunk voice: It’s a castle, it’s a ship, it’s a castle ship!

★ Pidge, Coran and Hunk upgraded the Gladiators to be more challenging and unpredictable, but in the end almost ended up killing everyone

  • Allura and Lance ended up taking them out

★ They all changed outfits once out of boredom

★ Shiro found a group chat setting in the lions, and just sent a shit ton of lenny faces

★ Shiro knows for a fact that Keith has been pining over Lance since before all this Voltron Nonsense, and proceeds to be the annoying brother Keith wished he never had

  • Shiro, thirsty for gossip and enjoys making his brother suffer: So what’d say to him once you saw him for the first time since the Garrison
  • Keith, already planning ways he can kill himself: I pretended i didn’t know him
  • Shiro, spitting out his nunvil: yoU DID W H A T

★ Coran’s mustache got cut off once, and everyone was horrified.

  • It??? Grew back in a day though????

★ Pidge climbs onto the nearest person when she gets scared

Lance voice: We are Voltron bum ba dum bum bum bum bum

★ Coran is the one to insist he doesn’t have a favorite, but everyone knows it’s Lance

★ The paladins tried to find out if Shiro wore eyeliner or not

  • They camped out in the rafters, courtesy of Pidge, with motion detectors in Shiro’s room and cameras in every bathroom
  • They didn’t get their answer, and Keith fell out the rafters

★ Hunk: Gee, it sure seems like updog in here

  • Lance: Hunk no
  • Coran: What??
  • Hunk: Y’now updog
  • Allura: What??? Is updog???
  • Hunk is too busy screaming to answer, and Lance is done

★ Kaltnecker is still around and scares the crap out of the paladins

  • Lance, jumping five feet into the air: hOLY COW
  • Hunk, Pidge and Keith: ( ° ʖ °)
  • Lance: NO

★ Everyone has a group chat where the scream about Klance

★ Coran and Shiro scream the most since Keith and Lance respectively go to them more often

★ They quietly whisper right hand man whenever Allura shows up in her battlesuit

★ Alteans can glow and nobody finds out until the castle has a blackout and the paladins are shook

  • Coran: Worry not paladins! We’ve got the situation under control
  • **Allura and Coran begin glowing**
  • Pidge, quietly underneath her breath: yo wtf

★ The paladins find out they can have elemental powers and proceed to freak the fuck out

  • Pidge: I am the Lorax i speak for the trees
  • Hunk: I can be friends with the Balmera!
  • Shiro: I can finally fly away from all my problems

★ They all unlock them in different ways

  • Keithy-boi accidentally lights his pillow on fire because he was thinking about Lance
  • Somebody makes the mistake of pissing off Hunk and a rock goes flying towards them
  • Shiro was finally chilling until Lance started screaming that he was floating
  • Pidge got really frustrated about an invention while they were on another planet and a bunch of trees surrounded her
  • Last but not least, Lance got super homesick at one point and all the sudden all the waters on the planet started rising

Allura, sitting at a table, eyebrows pinched in thought: What the quiznak is a peanut?

Paladins, pouring nunvil into tiny cups: SHOTS SHOTS SHOT SHOTS

★ Hunk has blackmail on everyone, but will only use it if he deems it completely necessary

★ Nobody ever lets Pidge curse and she is Tired™

★ On several occasions have the Green and Yellow lion had to save their paladins from doing something stupid in the name of science

★ Everyone tried to make lightsabers

  • They were in space so why not??
  • They cut off Coran’s mustache again

★ They went to a planet and drank something?? They next thing they knew is that they were in the castle, Hunk suddenly had longer hair, Pidge’s glasses were gone and that Keith and Lance had strangely similar rings

★ Lance made everyone matching letterman jackets

  • Coran and Shiro teared up

★ Pidge and Hunk made Lance a camera and he screamed

★ Existential crises become a normal thing

  • Shiro, suddenly pausing his training: We’re just fucking power rangers
  • Hunk, dropping Pidge who he was carrying: Oh my god—to Allura and Coran we are the aliens
  • Keith, stopping in the middle of an argument: My entire life, i wondered if aliens were real while i was an alien

★ Everyone assumes its Hunk who doesn’t curse, but it’s actually Lance

★ “How many episodes of Steven Universe have we missed oh my god”

Allura, who just found this out about balloons from Shiro: Ah, Pidge! how exactly does one get square balloons?

  • Pidge, finally seizing her chance: You blow square breaths
  • Allura, holding one finger up: (ό‿ὸ)ノ w h a t

★ Hunk remembered they disappeared before he got to see Moana and just laid down on the floor for several hours

  • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is basically his dad meaning Hunk missed his dad’s disney movie.

★ They accidentally stole a Yupper that was owned by Prince Lotor

Shortly after forming Voltron: What in formation?

★ Hunk has made a mental note of how many times he’s been right about people not being trustworthy

  • It’s 157

Shiro at one point: jeez we need an adult

  • Shiro, this time horrified: wait i am the adult

★ “It’s not gay if it’s in space.” “Actually the moon is a lesbian, so it is gay. check and mate, Lance.”


★ They programmed the castle to play the wii music, and Shiro nearly went on a rampage

★ Lance actually ended up knitting all the arusians sweaters

★ “We are beauty, we are grace, we are just gays lost in space” “Shiro liKES MEMES?”

★ Aliens are lowkey terrified of humans now

  • “The black paladin got his arm ripped off and managed to escape the galra? Count me out

★ “Wait, Voltron is just five lions stacked on top of each other omg this is wild”

★ The castle is actually haunted somewhat

  • Nobody knows by who, but they know weird shit is always going on

★ “Who you gonna call?” “VOLTRON”

★ They’re so confused on why Allura and Coran have british accents

  • We’re in space???this makes no sense????

★ Hunk tells Coran he’s helping him cook but really he’s making sure everything is safe for human consumption

★ Lance broke his arm once and Allura passed out

★ Lance and Hunk are the only ones with normal sleeping schedules

  • Coran is always awake?? Nobody knows if he actually goes to sleep, they’re afraid for him

★ Coran taught Pidge every way through the vents and she now uses it to her advantage

★ Hunk is always getting marriage proposals from aliens

★ Pidge has almost been adopted on several occasions

★ They start a service that kinda works like fan mail and are surprised by how many kids want to be them

  • “Why do all these kids want to be dead inside???”

★ The tag yourself meme becomes a usual thing

  • “Tag urself, im that king that keith accidently set on fire”
  • “I’m Shiro screaming hysterically”
  • “I’m that guy who just doesn’t give any shits”

★ Allura is forever deemed Space Beyoncé

★ Coran has a special cup to protect his mustache from getting tea in it

Lance, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat: Does liking Keith make me a furry?

★ Voltron malfunctioned somehow and threw them all onto the planet they were saving and no one has recovered

  • Voltron somehow beat it on it’s own???
  • Everyone is salty bc it did a better job than they ever did

★ “It’s okay if you’re a furry and a texan, we still love you.” “i alREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR BROTHER BUT NOW T H I S”

★ Slav hangs around and drags everyone into the Multiverse theory

★ “gO GO POWER RANGERS” **bad sound effects**

★ They argue over what sound the particle barrier makes

  • “Guys, no. it makes that sound when you hear a window opening, y’know?”
  • “No, Lance, it’s more like the sound you hear when you’re on a swing”
  • “Both of you are wrong, it makes that sound you hear when you drop out of the sky”
  • “WE ARE STILL FIGHTING THE GALRA. But it actually makes a noise kinda like Shwooop.”

★ “How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals??”

  • “Hire Voltron”
  • “Everyone started hiring Voltron”
  • “Rich important people hired Voltron. Poor people who could not afford to hire Voltron did not hire Voltron”

★ **The Galra start attacking the ship** “Knock knock, it’s the Galra. With huge ships. With guns. Gunships.”

★ Shiro voice: Think about it, everyday we get one day closer to getting nachos

  • Hunk voice: that’s actually really nice
  • Pidge voice: what if i die tomorrow and don’t get nachos?
  • Keith voice: then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
  • Lance voice: nO

★ Lance is always the last to find things out without fail

★ Once something was inside the castle that basically put people into a coma when the went to sleep, so everyone had to stay up for at least 2 weeks straight

  • Keith was so sleep deprived that he told Lance bad space pick-up lines for two hours while they cuddled

★ They have a board that reads “The last time we did something gay”

  • The longest they’ve gone is 4 days

★ Everyone always forgets what number they are

  • Coran: Come on, number 3, I have something to show you!
  • The Paladins:  **Caveman spongebob meme**


★ They have Bonding Sessions where they talk about their families and what they hope they’re doing

★ Everyone thinks it’s Keith or Pidge who talk about punching Iverson, but nope, it’s Hunk

  • He told everyone that Matt, Professor Holt and Shiro were dead and is probably telling his family the same thing
  • He’s not letting that shit slide

★ They visit Balmera regularly so Hunk can see his rock girlfriend

  • BALLmera is life amirite?”

★ Everyone has so many questions over Allura’s hair

  • “Is her hair made out of clouds, or am i dreaming?”
  • “How did she get all of that into a bun? i can barely put my hair into a ponytail wtf”

★ “I’m paladin” “I hate this fucking family”

★ No one can count how many times they’ve seen Keith staring at Lance while he wasn’t looking

Coran, obviously frustrated shortly after Pidge goes missing at some point: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN?

  • Hunk, quietly, but with a lot of feeling: You forget to cherish her
Texan Keith

• had to learn line and square dancing as a gym requirement in elementary + the first year of intermediate school

• can only remember the choreography to “Cotten-Eyed Joe”

• taught lance how to dance the choreography to “Cotten-Eyed Joe” because lance asked him to immediately after lance found out

• says “bless your heart” at every possible situation

• is it sincere? is he wishing you’d suffer? no one knows

• says “all y'all”

• is simultaneously annoyed when other people say “all y'all” because “all you all” makes no gosh darn sense. filthy hypocrite

• saw the outside of NASA 1 (one) time through a car window

• can’t say the word “Texas” without a Texan accent. it’s just. it’s not possible when you’ve lived here so long

• keith, seeing northerners make fun of the southern dialect: don’t y'all know we don’t talk like that? i ain’t never heard a single person talk like you folks think we do,

Keith’s dad has an accent, Keith doesn’t because he didn’t grow up with his dad
But, I have a friend who is adopted she has had zero personal contact with her birth parents and still has their accent when she gets angry, since Keith has had contact with his dad I’m gonna assume the same thing, so like Lance or something really pisses Keith off and he starts cussing them out with an accent and everyone just stares for about a minuet before Lance breaks down into horrified laughter Pidge can’t stop hyena cackling Hunk is trying his best not to laugh Allura and CORAN are confused af because why did he sound different? And then there is shiro, standing off to the side well aware that when Keith gets angry he has an accent, smirking while Keith is so fucking red

anonymous asked:

yaint seriously,,, i honestly,, cannot picture keith saying y'all or ain't or y'all'd've im sorry but this is tHis is too far we need to stop this obscenity

Keith prolly wouldn’t say yaint but y’all is so Goddamn Convenient anon. Y’all did this. Y’all did that. ‘You all’ whom? ‘All of you’ what? I’m sorry, I don’t know them :/ 

Ain’t is a little bit more accidental… Y’all and y’all’d’ve flow off the tongue real nice and also kind of make sense grammatically. But ain’t is heavily frowned upon in most places because it’s a funky contraction lmfao.

  • Keith: Shiro’s always busting my chops for being impulsive, and then y’all go ahead and pull this shitshow?
  • Keith: What in God’s holy name and book is wrong with y’all?
  • Haggar: You’ll talk. They always do.
    Keith: I ain’t telling you shit.
  • Keith: If y’all’d’ve listened to Hunk, we wouldn’t be as SOL as we are now.

thisismylameassname  asked:

"Space Cowboy" by NSYNC is such a Keith song. No, not because Keith is Texan and he's in space... just- just listen... It's worth it.

Don’t be afraid at allCause up in outer space there’s no gravity to fallPut your mind and your body to the testCuz up in outer space is like the wild wild westIf you wanna fly, come and take a rideTake a space ride with the cowboy, babyIf you wanna fly, come and take a rideTake a space ride with the cowboy, babyWhy-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yayWhy-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yoWhy-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yayWhy-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yi

God i love texan keith with a PASSION this song is going to be the end of me 

Frag v Yaw v Expansion


100% weight retention is a massive plus as a heavier object moving at a faster speed has more energy. Now apply that to ballistics and what you said is almost spot on. Not only does it increase penetration (as long as speed stays the same), it also creates a larger wound cavity. This dictates that 45 ACP should be the king but unfortunately due to modern ballistics, 9mm has come leaps and bounds from where it was. Especially now that JHPs are understood, as most duty 9mm expands to about .7in wide. Weight also plays in to sub/super sonic rounds like with 45acp or 300blk. it also effects mil-surp 556, which I’ll explain in a bit. 

M855 is the greatest hype round to ever come out of the 556 family. M193 is up there too. Simply because people don’t truly understand HOW rifle bullets make holes and a piece of paper called the Hague Convention from 1899. 

The Hague Convention outlawed the use of “bullets which expand or flatten easily in the human body, such as bullets with a hard envelope which does not entirely cover the core, or is pierced with incisions.” during war. (you can thank the British for this BTW, their .303 was EXTREMELY deadly for its time period)

Because of this militarizes of the world had to find a way to increase lethality while still abiding by the Hauge. So we have really two methods of wounding in mil-surp rounds. Fragmentation and Yaw.

Fragmentation: It is truly a great idea in theory. I’m going to shoot you with a bullet that once it hits you is going to explode into tiny little bits and hopeful rip up something important. If not, it’s going to take forever for a Doc to find all the pieces and get them out.

This is fully recovered (98%) M193 (55gr) round that hit the gel at about 3150fps. Nasty round. It truly is. 

So what is it’s downfall? The fact that it has to be moving above 2700fps. This isn’t that large of deal with 16in or even 14.5in barrels. It still gives you a fairly large ballistic envelope that extends well out side “normal” self-defense ranges. Check the following table for the ranges at which M855 and M193 frag at. Please keep in mind that this is a guide, by no means is this a law. Each round will be different do to all the variables, like temp, humidity, altitude, etc.  

Distance to 2700 fps
20" Barrel
16" Barrel
14.5" Barrel
11.5" Barrel



Now hold up here. Out of a 11.5in gun I only have 45 yards, that’s only 135 feet until it dips below the threshold. That’s like the distance between your mail box and your next door neighbors mail box….. that’s actually really close in terms of a gun fight. I mean I have made shots on steel with a 9mm longer than that. This is why 7.5in barrels are stupid, not only are they over gassed to the point that they quite literal burn themselves to death. Your ballistics out of them SUCK! 

An additional note on M855. It has a tungsten core that DOES NOT fragment due to it being denser than copper. This is by design as the core is meant to penetrate a Russian steel helmet if the Cold War ever went hot. You actually lose some frag when compared to M193 but you gain penetration against barriers, think car doors. This makes M855 act like both a fragmenting round and a round that yaws due to the tungsten core.

Yaw (not to be confused with yall, I know we Texans all sound weird.)

Yaw is mainly found in Russian mil-surp rounds. And is caused by a engineered non-center of gravity, located to the rear. Causing the back end of the round to either go higher or lower than the tip of the bullet when ever it meets a rapid deceleration.(ie flesh). 

This is a picture of a unofficial gel test of 7.62x39. Notice how near the end of the block it dramatically widens? That’s because the round has turned on its side, going form a 7.62mm bullet to a 39mm plow as it turns end over end. Given enough time and gel we would see the perm cavity grow and shrink as the bullet tumbles. 

As I’m sure most of us agree taking larger chunks out of someone trying to kill you is a good thing. So whats the problem with yaw? The issue is timing.

For yaw to be effective the round must be designed to yaw at the correct point, any sooner and we won’t have adequate penetration, any later and you just put a hole that is a glorified 22lr (556 and 545). That is the issue with 762x39, it begins to yaw well outside of the 15-17in range unless there is a medium in front of it to destabilize the round sooner, or it hits bone.


Expansion: This is what JHP pistol rounds do so I will save time by not covering they way they work again. Instead I will jump into WHY they are better. 

Before I continue, the above tests are preformed with a 50gr Barnes TSX 556 round. One of them came from a 20in barrel (bottom) and the other one came from a 8in barrel (top).  Please notice that both gel tests look very similar and that both rounds expand well and meet the 15in mark. Something that M855 would be very, very hard pressed to do out of a 8in barrel. Below is the recovered rounds from the 8in barrel.

Here we have a FANTASTIC round that can be fired in a AR-15 even those with a slow twist rate like DPMS with the 1:12 rate. Where traditional you need a 1:9 or faster to stabilize the 70-77 grain rounds. Nor is it dependent on velocity like M855/M193 is, so SBR users have a round that they can use and greatly extend their envelope, which is never a bad thing. We also get reliable, repeatable, ballistic results that we may not see in a round that yaws.

erron black: i am from outworld now and i serve the emperor if you tell me otherwise i will fucking kill you i hate earthrealm and all its inhabitans fuck everything where is my ching ching dollar dollar @ kahn i aint got all day

erron black (literally 10 seconds later): i am from earthrealm like you hey chainsaw man we are fellow texans i g2g rub this confederate flag all over my naked body GOD BLESS AMERICA [inhales] OOOOOH SAAY CAN YOU SEEEE