<b>Lance:</b> hi Keith your mullet is gross but you're good looking~<p/><b>Keith:</b> what in tarnation<p/><b>Lance:</b> ...<p/><b>Shiro:</b> don't worry I speak my lil bro's weird Texan he meant to say "what the hell"<p/><b>Lance:</b> that makes a lot more sense now...<p/></p>
Okay I didn’t want to say anything, but, I think it’s time that everyone faced reality. No one else is speaking up, so I’ve gotta.
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts and comics and art about Lance making fun of Keith for being Texan recently. And as funny and cute as they are, that’s just wrong to me. It’s absolutely wrong. I mean, I’ve seen some serious mischaracterization of the Voltron crew before, but the fact that so many people have got it so wrong is just blowing my mind. We’ve got to face the facts people, Lance wouldn’t be making jokes about Keith being Texan.
What the fandom says:
OMG, STOP MAKING MY BABY BOI LANCE SUFFER!! PLS VOLTRON WRITERS! WHY YOU GOTTA PLAY ME LIKE THIS?? HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!! *sobs*
What the fandom does:
writes 10000X more langst fanfics and posts than any other angsty character *cough* keith *cough* *cough* shiro *cough* allura *cough* pidge *cough* and draws more than enough fanart of homesick lance needing/wanting to be cradled and problematically getting angry at socially inept keith who can't talk to people except shiro, somewhat. And therefore, bringing further complaints about langst and how he doesn't deserve it, while cackling in the corner and writing even more langst.
me (who sees through it all and is tired of the fandom making lance the angsty one when keith literally has no relatives that want anything to with him or have been forcibly taken away from him and therefore has had no interactions on a degree of being loved or appreciated. His only focus being a pilot because there is nothing else for him and lance calling him out like a bad guy when keith never meant to do any harm and was doing the only thing he was good at and knew how to do. Not only Lance making Keith being the bad guy for being the best pilot, BUT THE FANDOM AS WELL. Then getting kicked out the garrison for probably asking questions about the classified kerberos launch, and in turn, disabling him to do the one thing he was probably best at and ever enjoyed, period. While he was left, again, alone to fend for himself in a godforsaken desert with no interaction with people, ensuring him to be even more socially inept ... Then realizing that he is part galra, which starts the whole "i am evil" complex, along with him being unsure of who his mother is and what her intentions are now. Leading to inner turmoil and self doubt and self exhaustion of him being left out against the group, AGAIN, and being unsure who he really is supposed to be. Then, Shiro pulling the 'I want you to lead Voltron' card which creates even further stress for Keith because he now has to be sure enough to not only take care of himself, but now his team. When he is only 16. Everyone not being supportive, at first, of him being team leader while he doubts his OWN SELF. Clone Shiro comes in and undermines Keith just when he gets the hang of things, creating an inferiority complex. MEANWHILE the fandom has Lance being OVER analyzed for missing home, rain and, although he canonically thinks he's not useful, forgets to point out he's now Keith's right hand man. Not to mention, no one appreciates that Keith is an overall better pilot than lance - sorry lance stans - and that's a CANON FACT ):
Could you not?
If you’re able to get to Houston, San Antonio, or other severely affected areas, get there. People are in need of rescue. Now is the time to break out the flat bottom boats and the jet skis, y'all. We’re Texans. We protect our own with pride, regardless of any prejudice we may carry. Stay safe out there.
★ Hunk has blackmail on everyone, but will only use it if he deems it completely necessary
★ Nobody ever lets Pidge curse and she is Tired™
★ On several occasions have the Green and Yellow lion had to save their paladins from doing something stupid in the name of science
★ Everyone tried to make lightsabers
They were in space so why not??
They cut off Coran’s mustache again
★ They went to a planet and drank something?? They next thing they knew is that they were in the castle, Hunk suddenly had longer hair, Pidge’s glasses were gone and that Keith and Lance had strangely similar rings
★ Lance made everyone matching letterman jackets
Coran and Shiro teared up
★ Pidge and Hunk made Lance a camera and he screamed
★ Existential crises become a normal thing
Shiro, suddenly pausing his training: We’re just fucking power rangers
Hunk, dropping Pidge who he was carrying: Oh my god—to Allura and Coran we are the aliens
Keith, stopping in the middle of an argument: My entire life, i wondered if aliens were real while i was an alien
★ Everyone assumes its Hunk who doesn’t curse, but it’s actually Lance
★ “How many episodes of Steven Universe have we missed oh my god”
★ Allura, who just found this out about balloons from Shiro: Ah, Pidge! how exactly does one get square balloons?
Pidge, finally seizing her chance: You blow square breaths
Allura, holding one finger up: (ό‿ὸ)ﾉ w h a t
★ Hunk remembered they disappeared before he got to see Moana and just laid down on the floor for several hours
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is basically his dad meaning Hunk missed his dad’s disney movie.
★ They accidentally stole a Yupper that was owned by Prince Lotor
★ Shortly after forming Voltron: What in formation?
★ Hunk has made a mental note of how many times he’s been right about people not being trustworthy
★ Shiro at one point: jeez we need an adult
Shiro, this time horrified: wait i am the adult
★ “It’s not gay if it’s in space.” “Actually the moon is a lesbian, so it is gay. check and mate, Lance.”
★ Pidge, aggressively: kISS KISS FALL IN SPACE YOU LOSERS
★ They programmed the castle to play the wii music, and Shiro nearly went on a rampage
★ Lance actually ended up knitting all the arusians sweaters
★ “We are beauty, we are grace, we are just gays lost in space” “Shiro liKES MEMES?”
★ Aliens are lowkey terrified of humans now
“The black paladin got his arm ripped off and managed to escape the galra? Count me out”
★ “Wait, Voltron is just five lions stacked on top of each other omg this is wild”
★ The castle is actually haunted somewhat
Nobody knows by who, but they know weird shit is always going on
★ “Who you gonna call?” “VOLTRON”
★ They’re so confused on why Allura and Coran have british accents
We’re in space???this makes no sense????
★ Hunk tells Coran he’s helping him cook but really he’s making sure everything is safe for human consumption
★ Lance broke his arm once and Allura passed out
★ Lance and Hunk are the only ones with normal sleeping schedules
Coran is always awake?? Nobody knows if he actually goes to sleep, they’re afraid for him
★ Coran taught Pidge every way through the vents and she now uses it to her advantage
★ Hunk is always getting marriage proposals from aliens
★ Pidge has almost been adopted on several occasions
★ They start a service that kinda works like fan mail and are surprised by how many kids want to be them
“Why do all these kids want to be dead inside???”
★ The tag yourself meme becomes a usual thing
“Tag urself, im that king that keith accidently set on fire”
“I’m Shiro screaming hysterically”
“I’m that guy who just doesn’t give any shits”
★ Allura is forever deemed Space Beyoncé
★ Coran has a special cup to protect his mustache from getting tea in it
★ Lance, waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat: Does liking Keith make me afurry?
★ Voltron malfunctioned somehow and threw them all onto the planet they were saving and no one has recovered
“I WANT A FUCKING REFUND, THIS MAGIC CAT MAN THREW ME OUT BITCH”
Voltron somehow beat it on it’s own???
Everyone is salty bc it did a better job than they ever did
★ “It’s okay if you’re a furry and a texan, we still love you.” “i alREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH YOUR BROTHER BUT NOW T H I S”
★ Slav hangs around and drags everyone into the Multiverse theory
★ “gO GO POWER RANGERS” **bad sound effects**
★ They argue over what sound the particle barrier makes
“Guys, no. it makes that sound when you hear a window opening, y’know?”
“No, Lance, it’s more like the sound you hear when you’re on a swing”
“Both of you are wrong, it makes that sound you hear when you drop out of the sky”
“WE ARE STILL FIGHTING THE GALRA. But it actually makes a noise kinda like Shwooop.”
★ “How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals??”
“Everyone started hiring Voltron”
“Rich important people hired Voltron. Poor people who could not afford to hire Voltron did not hire Voltron”
★ **The Galra start attacking the ship** “Knock knock, it’s the Galra. With huge ships. With guns. Gunships.”
★ Shiro voice: Think about it, everyday we get one day closer to getting nachos
Hunk voice: that’s actually really nice
Pidge voice: what if i die tomorrow and don’t get nachos?
Keith voice: then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
Lance voice: nO
★ Lance is always the last to find things out without fail
★ Once something was inside the castle that basically put people into a coma when the went to sleep, so everyone had to stay up for at least 2 weeks straight
Keith was so sleep deprived that he told Lance bad space pick-up lines for two hours while they cuddled
THEY WEREN’T DATING YET
★ They have a board that reads “The last time we did something gay”
The longest they’ve gone is 4 days
★ Everyone always forgets what number they are
Coran: Come on, number 3, I have something to show you!
The Paladins: **Caveman spongebob meme**
★ “hEY NOW, YOU’RE IN VOLTRON, GET YOUR LION, GET REKT”
★ They have Bonding Sessions where they talk about their families and what they hope they’re doing
★ Everyone thinks it’s Keith or Pidge who talk about punching Iverson, but nope, it’s Hunk
He told everyone that Matt, Professor Holt and Shiro were dead and is probably telling his family the same thing
He’s not letting that shit slide
★ They visit Balmera regularly so Hunk can see his rock girlfriend
“BALLmera is life amirite?”
★ Everyone has so many questions over Allura’s hair
“Is her hair made out of clouds, or am i dreaming?”
“How did she get all of that into a bun? i can barely put my hair into a ponytail wtf”
★ “I’m paladin” “I hate this fucking family”
★ No one can count how many times they’ve seen Keith staring at Lance while he wasn’t looking
★ Coran, obviously frustrated shortly after Pidge goes missing at some point: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN?
Hunk, quietly, but with a lot of feeling: You forget to cherish her
Just to remind everyone how unimportant skin color actually is in people’s lives I would like to share what happened today that was pointed out by my lovely and wonderful fiancé.
We decided to go see if the water went down any, but it hasn’t gone down enough for us to safely get out. We’re folks in the country south of College Station, TX living on a hilltop surrounded by our brand new Lake Harvey.
Well, all our neighbors were parked out in front of the new lake on the road so we joined them.
We talked about Game of Thrones, the relief volunteers who were across the water trying to get to us, the massive piles of fire ants in the water, and Mayweather. I pointed out one of our neighbors wearing an awesome shirt about Texas Independence and how much I love redneck Texans.
We enjoyed spending time and laughing with our little community, all of us checking on each other and offering spare water we had and then we hopped in the car to head home for dinner.
And then my lovely fiancé pointed out that we were the only white people in the neighborhood, and the only other people here who aren’t black are hispanic.
And you know, none of us cared. We were all laughing together, looking after each other, trying to guess when the water would go down and joking around. We talked about family and friends in other parts of Texas and let each other know how they were doing. It was lovely. Just a bunch of Texas rednecks loving on each other.
No one judged us for being white, we didn’t judge anyone for being black or hispanic, and the hispanics didn’t judge us either. We’re all in the same boat, we all drive down the same road to go to work, and we’re all here for each other. No one cared about the families with the Trump signs, no one cared about the families with the Hillary signs.
We just cared that our neighbor was okay, that’s it. And that’s how it should be.
TL:DR Some African americans, hispanics, and white people were stuck in a flood and just looking out for each other. None of that skin color BS matters in the end. All that matters is your neighbor is your neighbor, and you look out for them just the same.
yaint seriously,,, i honestly,, cannot picture keith saying y'all or ain't or y'all'd've im sorry but this is tHis is too far we need to stop this obscenity
Keith prolly wouldn’t say yaint but y’all is so Goddamn Convenient anon. Y’all did this. Y’all did that. ‘You all’ whom? ‘All of you’ what? I’m sorry, I don’t know them :/
Ain’t is a little bit more accidental… Y’all and y’all’d’ve flow off the tongue real nice and also kind of make sense grammatically. But ain’t is heavily frowned upon in most places because it’s a funky contraction lmfao.
Keith: Shiro’s always busting my chops for being impulsive, and then y’all go ahead and pull this shitshow?
Keith: What in God’s holy name and book is wrong with y’all?
Haggar: You’ll talk. They always do. Keith: I ain’t telling you shit.
Keith: If y’all’d’ve listened to Hunk, we wouldn’t be as SOL as we are now.
Keith’s dad has an accent, Keith doesn’t because he didn’t grow up with his dad
But, I have a friend who is adopted she has had zero personal contact with her birth parents and still has their accent when she gets angry, since Keith has had contact with his dad I’m gonna assume the same thing, so like Lance or something really pisses Keith off and he starts cussing them out with an accent and everyone just stares for about a minuet before Lance breaks down into horrified laughter Pidge can’t stop hyena cackling Hunk is trying his best not to laugh Allura and CORAN are confused af because why did he sound different? And then there is shiro, standing off to the side well aware that when Keith gets angry he has an accent, smirking while Keith is so fucking red
okay so everyone knows at this point that keith loves hippos its been fully accepted as canon but everyone also knows that keith lived in texas and theoretically would never have seen a hippo.
my theory is that keith kogane that mad lad heard the name “hippopotamus” and was like. damn. thats a fucking badass name. thats gonna be my favourite animal.
lance shows him a photo and he throws up in his mouth but he cant back down so. he keeps saying he loves hippos it pains him inside he just thought the name sounded cool. father why didnt u show me a hippo why are we texan yeehaw