we are ready for war

CAPTAIN MARVEL IS SET IN THE EARLY ‘90S

NICK FURY WILL HAVE TWO EYES

THE SKRULLSA RE THE VILLAINS

LAURENCE FISHBURNE IS GOLIATH IN ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

MICHELLE PFEIFFER IS JANET VAN DYNE

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: You dream of things that eat up all your dead skin while you sleep. This is the natural cycle of things. 

Taurus: As you sit, leaned against the wall, know that you are being watched by something hungry that thinks you’re its mom. That’s also where the rabbit heads are coming from. 

Gemini: Find your weaknesses. Skin and eat them. You will become unstoppable.

Cancer: It is easy to be disdainful of problems you have solved. It’s hard to fix them for someone else.

Leo: Life is a series of groundbreaking accomplishments fueled by rage and exhaustion, and recovering from those accomplishments.

Virgo: Defend what is yours. Defend what is theirs. Grab a rifle and get involved with the community.

Libra: Movement is impossible with balance. See the world, fuck shit up.

Scorpio: Rage at the world is impotent and useless. Rage at the self is excellent, you can change that guy and what else do you have to do with your time?

Ophiuchus: I see you there, nose turned up at the screen. Feel the confusion wash through your head. Say nothing. Ask nothing. Enjoy it.

Sagittarius: A light in the dark is no soft beacon. All can see you now. Hold your weapon ready. 

Capricorn: We figured out how to go to war for non-violence. You want an uncomplicated life? Go be a plant. Seriously, that would be awesome plants are chill.

Aquarius: Eat something today. Do it in defiance of all the things keeping you pinned to the bed. If you’re gonna go out, do it with a finger up.

Pisces: The stars said nothing today, but they sang the lyrics to “Dare to be Stupid”. So there you go.

feelingsandopinions  asked:

I LOVE the chancellor Obi-Wan series! I reread it all the time because tortured Obi-Wan is great, but his personal hell of becoming a politician while preventing everything is even better. But that last line, wow. Why do I get the feeling the assassination is going to happen while Skyguy and Snips are away? But would that mean that Obi Wan gets to show off all his amazing jedi moves in front of the Senate? And remind them he's The Negotiator but also a superb fighter???

Anonymous said:
Im suddenly thinking of imprompto skydiving when the next assasionation attempt goes off in Bail’s office. Unless it is poision or toxic chemicals.

Anonymous said:
So, SC Obi has had two attempts on his life so far? Only two? No others getting caught before they get to Obi? One of Palps assassin plans interrupted by some other opportunist who fails miserably (and then more Palp-is-suffering?) Or frustration on the investegators parts at these unrelated to the first two attempts?

I wouldn’t think that two assassination attempts warrants an “only”, considering what a short time Obi-Wan has been in power. It is, in fact, a huge amount of attempts. After all, a lot of political leaders have gone their entire careers without a single assassination attempt. ;)

So here we are! An update! Finally! Assassination attempt #3!

I’ve had the text finished-ish for some time, but I’ve been editing and editing and editing until I now. Shout-out to my girl @dendral for looking it over so I could stop banging my head against it! 

This ficlet ended at a whooping 5.7k, so hopefully it will feel worth the wait.

WARNING: this story contains the aftermath of an explosion, as such there will be some descriptions of injuries caused by it, mentions of death, as well as the contemplation of death and dying

If there’s anything you think i missed in my warning, I’m sorry, just let me know and I’ll fix it.

Here we go!

Obi-Wan thinks back to the previous night. He slept well, knowing that Master Yoda was watching over him, though he cannot help the feeling of shame that washes over him. He shouldn’t need Master Yoda’s help like this. He’s dealt with his prescience since he was a child, he should be used to it by now.

He tries to accept the feeling and let it go. He knows that Master Yoda would likely smack his shin with the gimer stick and say something about there being no shame in needing help, and how asking for it shows greater wisdom than breaking your back trying to carry all burdens on your own.

The thought almost makes him feel a phantom ache in his shin, and he smiles. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Obi-Wan turns back to the matter at hand.

Keep reading

Lull Before the Storm (1944) - the English Lion and the American eagle crouch side by side on the cliffs of Dover, preparing for D-Day.

Isn’t it lovely how every year Europe (and Australia) start Eurovision week peacefully and acting like we are all best friends and are really open minded, but at the end of the week we are ready to start World War III because our favorite didn’t win the contest?

IW + BuckyNat Theory (with some SDCC spoilers)

Not sure if anyone else has put this together already but can we talk about the fact that Chadwick Boseman posted this image a while back on set for IW shooting scenes in what appears to be Wakanda:

and now with the release of the Infinity War trailer and the three-image poster at SDCC we see Steve and Natasha with incognito looks (Steve with a beard & Nat blonde) since they’re considered to be fugitives post-CACW:

MEANING they are 99% going to Wakanda to get Bucky out of cryo, as well as, recruit T’Challa and his army for the upcoming fight on earth against Thanos and his Black Order (hence the one second scene we see of Bucky cocking his gun and then T’Challa leading an army with Steve & Bucky appearing together in the top right corner):

Therefore, based on that little teaser photo Chadwick gave us months back we can make the assumption that Nat will be in this scene as well fighting by Steve, Bucky, and T’Challa’s side.

One can only assume what kind of BuckyNat reunion we will be getting! 

we get it, you’re gay.
my sexuality is not a shirt that I take off at the end of each day, it is not dirty. I do not dress myself in lesbianism just for the fashion perks; homophobia is not in style. i am not a living light switch, I do not turn myself off to solve all your problems, my light will not go out because it’s too bright for you.
we get it, you’re gay.
if I stop talking about it, it will not go away. I would say I am sorry to disappoint but I am not sorry, I am gay, I am very gay and I am not sorry for who I am, I am only sorry that you have a problem with self-liberation and confidence.
we get it, you’re gay.
I can tell when someone is uncomfortable and my sexuality is making you uncomfortable, you are upset that I am comfortable in my own skin, you are upset that I am comfortable with the fact that I love girls and you are uncomfortable about the fact that I won’t shut up. you can’t silence my sexuality, actions speak louder than words.
we get it, you’re gay.
you don’t mind that I’m gay you just don’t want me to be too gay, because being too gay is distracting. you want me to be quiet gay, nice gay, understanding gay, your-gay-friend gay, let-you-get-away-with-everything gay. I can like girls but I’m supposed to whisper that kind of thing, not shout it. the neighbors aren’t supposed to hear.
we get it, you’re gay.
you say you understand, but you’d rather just push it under the rug. it’s okay if I’m gay, but I shouldn’t rub it in your face. you don’t mind, you say, but you can’t help but notice how many people are gay these days and you assume it must be some kind of practical joke. I am not a joke, my life is not some riddle, do you see me laughing? this is not funny.
we get it, you’re gay.
oh, I’m just rebellious, I’ve been told. a rebellious teen confused by the media, so tell me, where is my army? where are my hundreds of thousands of lgbt soldiers, ready to fight this war on love? we stand united but we are not armed, because if we bring the weapons we have guaranteed ourselves a two-minute five o'clock news slot, tragic tragedy, one-more-gay-gone, let’s save the world, let’s save the gays.
we get it, you’re gay.
“lesbians have ruined flannels for me” because the community was supposed to ask for a style after you denied us basic human rights? I’m sorry gay girls have ruined plaid for you, but it never looked too great on you anyway. maybe you should stick to solid colors; if you put too many shades on one shirt, it might look like a rainbow and someone might accidentally think you’re gay. can’t have that.
we get it, you’re gay.
don’t annoy the straights! eyes wide open, avoiding ticking bombs of discrimination, it happens all the time but there’s no way to prepare yourself for hate speech coming from the mouth of your mother or your teacher or your best friend. I bite my tongue to keep from coming out but you’re just so sure that you can trust me, I’ll get it, no offense, no hard feelings, I will understand.
we get it, you’re gay.
I am not going to hit on you, just because I like girls does not mean that I like you, I love myself and I love being gay. do not make my sexuality about you, my life does not revolve around you. I’ve undressed in front of you my entire life but now you insist on changing in the next room. you don’t say it, but I know. I’m not a friend, I’m a predator.
we get it, you’re gay.
you can ramble all day about how that kid in your physics class is just to die for, but the second I mention that a girl in my history class is cute then all eyes are burning holes into my skin. you don’t have to bring your gay with you everywhere, leave it at home most days, it’s too embarrassing to share.
we get it, you’re gay.
I don’t look gay enough, I’ve heard. do I need to carry a sign with me everywhere to broadcast that I Am Not Straight, I am g-a-y gay, rainbows all over my body and in my back pocket, just so you can see?
we get it, you’re gay.
oh, but you tell me that I am not gay I am not gay because I am a girl that likes girls, I can only use the word lesbian. I didn’t know that I erased my name tag and handed it to you, I didn’t know that you were in charge of what I called myself, I didn’t know you were allowed to police my labels; I never asked for your opinions but that never stopped you anyway, do you understand?
we get it, you’re gay.
so, by gay, do you mean really gay or just a little gay? lipstick lesbian, three-way fantasy, am I right? what stereotype would you like to claim, or would you prefer that I choose?
we get it, you’re gay.
truth or dare has always been a death sentence for me, and anyone that says that party games aren’t lethal doesn’t know pure poison, I grew up drinking venom from vodka bottles because alcohol was nothing to a child on the run. so explain to me why I would stop now.
we get it, you’re gay.
in every wedding aisle there’s a “mr.” and a “mrs.” who’s the man in the relationship, they’ll ask us, nothing about us is traditional but they’ll insist we wear white anyway. marriage equality, what else are you fighting for?
I get it, you’re straight.
you’re the cool straight friend. you’re the best straight friend any gay person could ever have, asking for fashion advice and introducing me as your “gay friend.” you say that you have a pretty great gaydar, and you knew all along. do you also know that I want you to shut the fuck up?
I get it, you’re straight.
capital s “Straight,” straight as a telephone pole, straighter than a ruler. so straight and everyone knows without you saying a word because you people are everywhere. you’re on cereal boxes and billboards and in every television show. you’re the main character but we’re just there for a little drama, an episode or two, and then we’re gone.
I get it, you’re straight.
you have never had to come out of the closet because you were never in one to begin with, you own the entire house and didn’t even give us enough room to be. has anyone ever told you how dark and crowded a closet is? it is so hard to breathe with so little space to exist, I’m surprised my thoughts didn’t suffocate me over the years, would you have even noticed?
I get it, you’re straight.
you’re a girl and you like boys, only boys. I mean, everyone experiments in college, right? everyone loves that song, I kissed a girl, because everyone loves just to give being gay a try without the weight of what it really means. it’s not cheating if it’s with a girl, right? right?
I get it, you’re straight.
no homo, bro! holding hands, sharing drinks, making eye contact, it’s not gay, no homo. just two pals being gals, no homo, don’t worry, we’re straight!
I get it, you’re straight.
you have learned how to hate since the moment you were born. no worries, I have been too, but I unlearned heteronormativity so I could fall in love with myself. you preach it every sunday in church and every weekday at work, you learn that serving me is optional, that you can turn me away because you don’t like who I love.
I get it, you’re straight.
lets talk about me as a topic of class discussion, I am the focus of today’s debate, go. argue your stance. do you think this girl at table three should have the right to get married, the right to adopt, the right to buy milk, the right to exist? do you think this girl at table three is just trying to fit in? do you think the girl at table three should be allowed to go to prom? tell me, let’s talk about the girl at table three, no harm done.
I get it, you’re straight.
you are in every book I’ve ever read. the love stories are always about you, how can you expect me to grow up and not feel flawed? these novels teach me to hate who I am, it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still here.
I get it, you’re straight.
“there’s a war on straight people,” excuse me? we are just beginning to come out of the shadows because the earth is only now a little less haunted and you have the audacity to say that you are the ones under attack?
I get it, you’re straight.
every step we take is monitored and broadcast for the world to see. you are just a person allowed to make your own decisions but everything I do respresents my entire community and there is no space for me to make mistakes. I am not perfect but I am trying.
I get it, you’re straight.
you say that me being gay is not a big deal to you, it could be anyone, no big deal, not at all. but it’s a big deal to me, this wasn’t an easy thing to say. why should I silence myself, am I overreacting?
I get it, you’re straight.
there’s no rule book for being an ally and sometimes the borders become a little blurred, it’s easy to cross a line. I will help guide you but I will not hold your hand. I cannot always be there to watch the words that trickle out of your mouth, you have to remember that I am a secret.
I get it, you’re straight.
please stop talking about me like I am the latest news story, I am not a headline in big bold font, sometimes I just need a moment to breathe. I have these words printed into my skin just like a newspaper and I’ve never been more black and white.
I get it, you’re straight.
what’s it like to be gay? oh, you know what I mean, so when did you know? which girl turned you gay? why did you lie to us, how many times have you done it with a girl, what about with a guy? how can you be gay if you’ve never done anything? can you ever really know? what if it’s all a phase?
I get it, you’re straight.
the words we identify ourselves by are your insults. they lock us up for holding hands, they criminalize and sexualize our daily activities because they don’t want us corrupting the children. I’ve spent my entire life in an invisible prison with see-through shackles, this is on my permanent record.
I get it, you’re straight.
have you ever considered that my backpack is heavy because I have to carry the weight of your judgment to and from school every day, I have to carry a fire extinguisher in my lunch box because these toxic words are flammable. I might break my back but at least you don’t know.
I get it, you’re straight.
what’s it like to be “normal”? to never have to deal with the undercover I’m-sorry-for-you stares from the kids in the hallway, the I’ll-pray-for you promises spoken by nice ladies in their sunday best?
we get it, you’re gay.
when I’m telling my love story I do not want to lie. I will not censor the pronouns to protect the innocent because my happiness is not guilt-ridden. I am leaving this book open.
—  we get it.

gitwrecked  asked:

Microfill prompt! Keith + Shiro, Star Wars AU, reunited after a long time apart

this is not the fic fill i think you were looking for ;)

-

“You’re still alive.”

“Hello to you too,” Shiro says, dropping his bag down by the door. Keith doesn’t get up to greet him, but that’s no surprise; his ankle’s still heavily bandaged, propped up on the low table by their couch. “No need to sound so surprised. How’s the ankle?”

“Slow,” Keith grumbles. Force-healing isn’t exactly his specialty, a fact Shiro’s sure Keith’s been lamenting for the entire last week. “And I am surprised. Lance didn’t kill you?”

Shiro rolls his eyes fondly, stepping over to check their two little plants. Both are alive and flourishing. They’ve done well under Keith’s care. “He’s not that bad. We actually have another mission assignment in a few days. How were things here?”

Keith’s eyes widen with surprise and - relief? Or is that hope, brightening up his previously sour expression? “A mission assignment? We do?”

Uh-oh.

“Sorry,” Shiro corrects, sheepishly. “You’re still on medical leave. I’ll do the next one with Lance again.”

Keith drops his data pad. “No.”

Shiro blinks. “He’s fine, Keith. It went well.”

“I’m your missions partner,” Keith says, flatly. The scowl’s back, full force.

Shiro raises one eyebrow, amused despite himself. “You also can’t walk.”

Keith grabs at the crutches leaning against the back of the couch. “I can walk by next week.”

“Keith,” Shiro begins, shifting around the furniture to help. Keith glowers at him; Shiro holds his hands up in empty placation.

“Don’t start,” Keith says, levering himself off the couch with the help of the sticks. If he leans heavily on the crutches, Shiro doesn’t exactly think now is the time to comment on it.

“I was only going to say that this is probably not your best idea,” Shiro says, meekly.

“Watch me,” Keith snaps.

(Loosely takes place after this, in the middle of this, and right before this)

Tano and Kenobi: The Duchess of Mandalore

After an exciting adventure out on the Outer Rim, Ahsoka Tano and Obi-Wan Kenobi return to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant with Master Sifo Dyas. Master Dyas believes the two have some kind of connection to the strange Force event that Ahsoka is convinced is related to Anakin Skywalker’s birth. Back at the Temple, life continued on for our duo but Tano and Kenobi are soon called back into action by the Jedi Council and receive a new mission: Protect the Duchess of Mandalore, Satine Kryze.Previously on Tano and Kenobi…

First | Previous | Next | AO3



Mandalore.

They’re sending us to Mandalore.

Ahsoka felt her mind go blank and the world around her fall away for one brief and blinding moment of panic.

They couldn’t go to Mandalore now! Anakin was out there, somewhere. He needed to be found! He and his mother needed to be freed from slavery and he needed to be brought to the Temple where she and Obi-Wan could protect him from Palpatine and whatever other Sith Lords were running around the galaxy at the moment.

A brief memory flashed through Ahsoka’s mind, one where she, Rex, and Anakin were in a cantina waiting for an informant to make contact, back before the Battle of Mandalore.

“So who are we waiting for, Skyguy?” Ahsoka asked as she sipped at her Tarisian latte. “And when are they getting here?”

“I don’t know,” Anakin shrugged, finishing off his shot of Gingensu cactus liquor. “Obi-Wan just said that they would help us and to treat them as you would have the Duchess.”

“The Duchess?” Ahsoka frowned at that, exchanging a look with Rex. She glanced down at her hands, remembering how distraught Master Obi-Wan had been when he returned to the Temple. “Is he doing all right? I know he and the Duchess were very close.”

Anakin shrugged, his own gaze fixed on a distant point, his brows furrowed and eyes dark. “You know Obi-Wan. He could be bleeding to death and missing a limb and he would still insist that he was fine.”

Rex nodded, tossing back the last of his Dantooine beer. “Cody said the same thing. Said the General hasn’t mentioned it but he’s keeping a close eye on him all the same.”

Ahsoka sighed softly. “This must be so hard for him. To come back to Mandalore to face Maul? After everything that’s happened?”

There was silence between the three of them before Ahsoka spoke up. “How did Obi-Wan meet the Duchess? I don’t think I ever asked before. Do you know, Skyguy?”

“I don’t know much other than what Obi-Wan told me,” Anakin said, ordering a mug of caf. “He and Master Qui-Gon were assigned to protect the Duchess when Obi-Wan was a padawan and it was a year-long mission.”

“Wow!” Ahsoka murmured, almost unable to imagine being in one place for more than six weeks, let alone a year. “So what happened?”

Anakin thanked the bartender and paid for his caf before turning back to Ahsoka and Rex. “The Mandalorian Civil War ended and they went their separate ways.”

A year?

A year? We don’t have a year to spend on Mandalore! We have to find Anakin now!

Keep reading

Wolf 359 is a red dwarf star in the leo constellation and it’s weird. In the year negative a billion Wolf 359 might not have been there. In the year negative forty thousand, and you could fly to it, and some people flew to it, then they got stuck, some stuff blew up and now there’s a lot of death because it’s awful. So now there’s people on the station and they’re basically sort of hanging out around the failing life support and drinking seaweed coffee and using the latest technology, like the comms panel and Hera. Ding dong it’s Lovelace and she’s got some cray shit from the past. like PTSD and crazy conspiracies. Now you can scream at how fucked you are. that means if you’re fucked you don’t have to do your job, and you can be lazy, which makes you happy. Panic and disaster spread across the land for years. The most important missions were the Hermes, Lovelace, and some others, but the most important is this one.

Knock knock, get the door, the star’s blue. The aliens in the star wanted to try this hot new thing (communicating) that’s a lot more deadly than they think. “please talk to us” they said. “no” said everybody. “try iiiiit” they said. “no” everyone said, quieter this time. And so the star was blue and everyone nearly died. Then the Hephaestus was taken over by another clique (the SI-5) and they made some changes, like making everyone follow protocol, making them act more like the military, which follows protocol. “hey Kepler” they said. “hey dipshit” said Kepler. “can you call us something else other than dipshit?” they asked. “like what?” said Kepler “how about esteemed coworkers?” they said and Lovelace decided to kill them and steal their ship to get home. Then they stopped changing the rotation orders every five seconds, and they finally killed the plant monster, get that squared away. Some weird people named Pryce and Carter were bored and they got Funzo, so the crew plays Funzo and it was great for a long time. The Hephaestus turned into such a fun place they didn’t really give a shit about doing work.

So if you don’t like the SI-5 how are you supposed to get them off your ship? Make some napalm. Everyone started making napalm. Lovelace made napalm. Eiffel who did not want to make napalm did not make napalm. The napalm stocked up in the weird death chair room, and they stopped listening to Kepler, they still let Kepler be the Commander but everyone actually listened to Minkowski.

Breaking news, Minkowski’s attacking the SI-5. “We have napalm” they said “please respect us or we may kill you violently.” “okay” said Kepler. So Lovelace came over, ready for war, and she died. But Minkowksi kept trying and had a nice time ~~fighting~~ killing Maxwell, but then Hilbert died too. Kepler beats Minkowski, then Minkowski beats him back and throws him in the brig and makes the Hephaestus its own crew again. And the Colonel can still calmm himself colonel if he wants, that’s fine.

It’s time for a funeral. Usually it’s for people you like, but that would only be Lovelace, so Eiffel tries to get hera to play nice and have a psuedo funeral thing. She says okay. But Jacobi didn’t wanna, so what’re they gonna do? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard the station’s power went out and music started playing. Kepler didn’t actually care, he was off somewhere being an asshole. And the whole structure fell apart, everyone was fighting with each other, it was anyone’s game.

Knock knock, it’s aliens. They’re not taking over, they just wanna bring Lovelace back to life. And wouldn’t it be nice to pretend to be a human, which right now is dead, with no one controlling them? And the aliens stole the idea of being human, and brought Lovelace back to life. Twice. And it goes very well.

anonymous asked:

JEN HOW CAN I LIVE AFTER THE SENSE8 SEASON 2 FINALE

Easy think about everything we have to look forward to:

  • Kala ready to take on anyone and anything to get love of her life back. 
  • Will being the leader we know he is, ready to wage total war for his family.
  • Hernando and Dani FINALLY finding out about the Cluster.
  • Amanita being all fond of the cluster and the cluster being all fond of her when they all finally meet.
  • Our babies ACTUALLY being physically together.
  • Detective Mun coming back cause he lives! (So more Sun and Mun Scene’s)
  • Whisper’s being taken down. 
  • The Nomanita wedding!
  • MORE CAPHEUS being the bright light and hope in everyone’s life!
  • Riley I have a gut feeling is going to play a huge part next season, there’s a reason we’re shown to connect her so much with Angelica. 

Okay, so I saw a post, and maybe re blogged it- don’t really remember anymore, but it talked about how aliens might be trying to teach us but think we’re rude because we won’t turn off our force field, something like that.

So imagine we send a rocket into space and are greeted by a group of highly irritated aliens, all ready to start an intergalactic war because we couldn’t be bothered to turn off our force field. But we just sit there in complete confusion, because what force field?

❛ history of japan ❜ starter meme

So I saw this video for the first time and I’m trash so take this and enjoy it. (Or not. That’s cool). Feel free to change/add/whatever anything to make it fit. Blanks mean “insert your word here” I guess.

  • ‘ Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s B E A U T I F U L. ’
  • ‘ It’s b e a u t i f u l. ’ 
  • ‘In the year negative a billion ______ might not have been here. ’
  • ‘ And now there’s lots of trees. Because it’s warmer. ’
  • ‘ They’re basically hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees. ’ 
  • ‘ Ding dong, it’s the outside world. ’
  • ‘ They have technology from the future. Like really good metal. And crazy rice farms. ’
  • ‘ That means that if you own the farm, you own the food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you King. ’
  • ‘ A heavenly super person, or Emperor for short. ’
  • ‘ Knock, knock. Get the door. It’s religion. ’
  • ‘ Please try this religion. ’
  • ‘ Then the government was taken over by another clique. ’
  • ‘ Can you call us something else, other than dipshit? ’
  • ‘ How about ‘Sunrise Land’? ’
  • ‘ They conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. ’
  • ‘ They really didn’t give a shit about running a country. ’
  • ‘ How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ’
  • ‘ Hire a samurai. ’
  • ‘ Everyone started hiring a samurai. ’
  • ‘ Correction: rich people hired a samurai. ’
  • ‘ They let the Emperor still be “Emperor”. ’
  • ‘ Breaking news: The Mongols have invaded _____. ’
  • ‘ We’ve invaded _____. Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well. ’
  • ‘ So the ______ came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. ’
  • actually a Typhoon
  • ‘ And the Emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants. That’s fine. ’
  • ‘ It’s time for Who’s Going to be the Next Shogun? ’
  • ‘ So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk. ’
  • ‘ Everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. ’
  • ‘ Knock knock, it’s Europe. ’
  • ‘ No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. ’ 
  • ‘ Like clocks, and guns, and Jesus. ’
  • ‘ Now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China, he said. And failed. And also died. ’
  • ‘ A lot of people support him. But a lot of people support not supporting him. ’
  • ‘ No one can leave and no one can come in. Except the _____. ’
  • ‘ Knock knock. It’s the United States. ’
  • ‘ Somehow made the Emperor the Emperor again. ’
  • ‘ And you know what else is western? That’s right, conquering stuff. ’
  • ‘ Stop, no, you can’t take that. We were going to build a railroad through here to try and get some warm water. ’
  • ‘ Can you maybe chill? ’
  • (scared of russia)
  • ‘ ___ make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. ’
  • [You’ve got mail].
  • ‘ im interested in taking over the world, and i was wondering if you could be my friend. ’
  • (1) new war request.