we are not moths

recipe for marauders

James

  • whole lotta smart
  • a bit– oops a lot dorkiness then
  • carelessly cute look
  • shoulders the size of a living room 
  • bad eye sight, definitely needs glasses
  • charm, more chARM!
  • a little arrogance, okay no- WAIT! Why did you pour the whole bottle?!
  • compassion - my hand slipped
  • protective - but like not the amount we put for mothe–?? why don’t you ever listen to me?
  • has a thing for redheads, I don’t make the rules
  • pinch of tendency to break rules. pst that’s not a pinch that’s a spoonful, well if you want to

Sirius

  • effortlessly smart
  • where’s the “can’t walk straight to save his life?” bottle?
  • a little anger you know with the whole bad boy vi- WHY did you pour the whole bottle again?!
  • silky hair - where’s the conditioner?
  • a bit of darkness, just a little bit. *smells* oh, that’s a strong one, a little goes a long way so maybe I should have put like one drop instead of four
  • I’m gonna need time to carve him out, don’t bother me for 48 hours and keep the coffee coming
  • crunchy on the outside mushy on the inside
  • put three drops of the family disappointment bottle.. you put thIRTY! STOP.
  • where’s the bottle we used for David Bowie? pour half of it, good
  • PINCH of tendency to break the rules. the spoon again? ah, well

Remus

  • pour the rest of the smart in
  • sarcasm for days, pour the whole fucking thing
  • soft on the outside, crunchy on the inside
  • swears like a pirate
  • a bit unlucky.. nooOO- not the whole bottle! you did it anyways, didn’t you?
  • kindness bottle, throw it here! whoops the whole thing fell in
  • where’s the darkness bottle? oh, five was too much
  • give him strong teeth, I don’t know why, just do it
  • where’s the instinct bottle we use for wolves? I know he’s a human just give it, I have a feeling
  • give me the adorable bottle, I’m gonna fix this *pours the whole thing*
  • definitely tea addict - no the earl grey one
  • P I N C H of tendency to brea– you are gonna go with the spoon no matter, cool

Peter

  • oh shit do we have any smart left? no?! oh, we have wit, cool. pour it in.
  • snarky af, pour ¾ in
  • make him the creative one, five drops should do it f i v e
  • put bravery, thaT’S THE COWARDICE bottle. why r u like dis?
  • foodie, half the bottle
  • the good listener for men. I know!! we haven’t used it in a while, I’m excited, too
  • the insecurity bottle, be very careful
  • should we mix in a little shyness? we should?! we should.
  • survival instincts, w o w that’s the amount we use for rats, what the hell?
  • chubby cheeks comin’ through
  • pinch of tend- do whatever you want, I’m done

la madrugada: dawn (00:00 ~ 5:00)
la mañana: morning (~5:00 - 11:59)
la tarde: afternoon (12:00 ~ 19:59)
la noche: evening / night (20:00 - 23:59)

anteayer: the day before yesterday
ayer: yesterday
hoy: today
mañana: tomorrow
pasado mañana: the day after tomorrow

el día: day
la semana: week
el fin de semana: weekend
el mes: month
el año: year
la estación: season

¿Cuál es la fecha de hoy? - What is the date today?
¿A qué fecha estamos hoy? - What is the date today?
Hoy es … : Today is …
27 de mayo de 2017 (veintisiete de mayo de dos mil diecisiete)

los días de la semana: days of the week
¿Qué día es hoy? - What day is today?
Hoy es … : Today is …
lunes: Monday
martes: Tuesday
miércoles: Wednesday
jueves: Thursday
viernes: Friday
sábado: Saturday
domingo: Sunday

*We use “el” or “lo” with the days. And we don’t use capital letters.
El lunes voy a ir al doctor. - I’m going to the doctor on Monday.
Los jueves tengo clases de piano. - On Thursdays I have piano classes.

los meses del año: months of the year
¿En qué mes estamos? - What moth are we in?
Estamos en… : We’re in …
enero: January
febrero: February
marzo: March
abril: April
mayo: May
junio: June
julio: July
agosto: August
septiembre: September
octubre: October
noviembre: November
diciembre: December

las estaciones del año: seasons of the year
¿En qué estación estamos? - What season are we in?
Estamos en … : We’re in …
la primavera: spring
el verano: summer
el otoño: fall
el invierno: winter

We use “en” with months and seasons. And we don’t use capital letters either.
Voy a viajar en agosto. - I’m going to travel in August.
Visito a mi familia en (el) verano. - I visit my family in the summer.

la semana pasada: last week
el fin de semana pasado: last weekend
el mes pasado: last month
el año pasado: last year
la primavera pasada: last Spring
el verano/ otoño/ invierno pasado: last Summer/ Fall/ Winter

esta semana: this week
este fin de semana: this weekend
este mes: this month
este año: this year
esta primavera: this Spring
este verano/ otoño/ invierno: this Summer/ Fall/ Winter

la próxima semana: next week
el próximo fin de semana: next weekend
el próximo mes: next month
el próximo año: next year
la próxima primavera: next Spring
el próximo verano/ otoño/ invierno: next Summer/ Fall/ Winter

also:
la semana que viene: next week
el fin de semana que viene: next weekend
el mes que viene: next month
el año que viene: next year

segundo: second
minuto: minute
hora: hour

¿Qué hora es? - What time is it?
1:00 = Es la una: It’s 1:00
2:00 = Son las dos: It’s 2:00
3:00 = Son las tres en punto: It’s three o´clock
4:15 = Son las cuatro y cuarto: It’s a quarter past four
5:30 = Son las cinco y media: It’s half past five
6:45 = Son las siete menos cuarto: It’s a quarter to seven
6:45 = Son cuarto para las siete: It’s a quarter to seven (same as previous one)

… de la madrugada: at dawn
de la mañana: in the morning
de la tarde: in the afternoon
de la noche: in the evening / at night
medio día: noon
media noche: midnight

todos los días: every day
todas las semanas: every week
todos los fines de semana: every weekend
todos los meses: every month
todos los años: every year
todas las mañanas: every morning
todas las tardes: every afternoon
todas las noches: every evening/night
todas las primaveras: every Spring
todos los veranos/ otoños/ inviernos: every Summer/ Fall/ Winter

todo el día: all day
toda la semana: all week, the whole week
todo el fin de semana: the whole weekend
todo el mes: the whole month
todo el año: the whole year
toda la mañana: the whole morning
toda la tarde: the whole afternoon
toda la noche: all night
toda la primavera: the whole Spring
todo el verano/ otoño/ invierno: the whole Summer/ Fall/ Winter

cada día: each day
cada semana: each week
cada fin de semana: each weekend
cada mes: each month
cada año: each year
cada mañana: each morning
cada tarde: each afternoon
cada noche: each evening/night
cada primavera: each Spring
cada verano/ otoño/ invierno: each Summer/ Fall/ Winter

cada dos horas: every two hours
cada tres días: every three days
cada dos semanas: every two weeks
cada seis meses: every six months
cada cuatro años: every four years

una vez: once
dos veces: twice
tres veces: three times
una vez al día: once a day
dos horas al día: two hours a day
tres veces a la semana: three times a week
cuatro días a la semana: four days a week
cinco veces al mes: five times a month
seis días al mes: six days a month
siete veces al año: seven times a year
ocho meses al año: eight months a year

la primera vez: the first time
la segunda vez: the second time
la tercera vez: the third time
la cuarta vez: the fourth time
la quinta vez: the fifth time

el pasado: the past
el presente: the present
el futuro: the future

ahora: now
en este momento: at this moment
estos días: these days
por el momento: at the moment
últimamente: recently

siempre: always
casi siempre: most of the time, almost always
la mayoría de las veces: most of the times
a menudo / seguido: often
normalmente: usually
a veces: sometimes
rara vez: seldom
casi nunca: rarely, hardly ever
nunca: never

otra vez / de nuevo: again

hoy en día: nowadays
hasta ahora: so far, up to now
hasta la fecha / hasta hoy: until today

hace: ago
hace dos semanas: two weeks ago
hace tres meses: three months ago
hace cuatro años: four years ago

antes (de): before
después (de): after

justo antes (de): just before
justo después (de): just after

después: later
luego: then, later
ya: already
desde: since, from
hasta: until
de: from
a: to

de lunes a viernes: from Monday to Friday
desde el lunes hasta el viernes: from Monday until Friday

pronto: soon
inmediatamente: immediately
de repente: suddenly

temprano: early
a tiempo: on time
tarde: late

al mismo tiempo: at the same time
durante: during

un momento: a moment
hace un momento: a moment ago
Un momento, por favor. - Just a second, please.

cualquier momento: any time
cualquier hora: any hour/time
cualquier día: any day
cualquier semana: any week
cualquier fin de semana: any weekend
cualquier mes: any month
cualquier año: any year

algún momento: some time
algún día: some day
alguna semana: some week
algún fin de semana: some weekend
algún mes: some month
algún año: some year

¿Cuándo? - When?
¿Cuánto tiempo […]? - How long […]?
¿Cuántos días/ meses/ años […]? - How many days/ months/ years […]?
¿Desde cuándo […]? - Since when[…]?
¿Hace cuánto tiempo (que) […]? - Since when […]? (same as previous one)
¿Hasta cuándo […]? - Until when […]? By when […]?
¿Para cuándo […]? - By when […]?

Tener tiempo: To have time
No tener tiempo: To not have time
Tardarse: to take time

el cumpleaños: birthday
¿Cuándo es tu cumpleaños? - When is your birthday?
Es el 2 de marzo: It’s on March 2nd

el aniversario: anniversary
la cita: appointment; date
las vacaciones: vacation
el día festivo/ feriado: the holiday
la fecha límite: due date
la fecha de vencimiento: expiration date
la fecha de entrega: due date (for school/work projects, homework…)


I hope this was helpful. 
If you have more, please share it with us :)

You want to know what’s been messing me up lately? Ever since taking Old English?

These douchebags right here. It looks like a weird runic letter ‘d’ doesn’t it? EXCEPT IT’S NOT. It’s ‘eth,’ which does not use the ‘d’ sound. They use a ‘th’ sound.

“Okay, Jurakan, why is that an issue?”

Because twatwaffles it means I’ve been saying everything wrong.

There’s a lot of Norse mythological names like:

-Idunn
-Vidarr
-Hodr
-Hermod
-Skadi

and everyone says them

-E-dun
-vih-DAR
-HO-dur
-HER-mod
-SKA-di

and that’s not how they’re supposed to be said at all. Because the letter ‘d’ in their name? Isn’t a the letter ‘d’, it’s ‘ð’. Meaning those names/pronunciations should be:

-Iðunn (E-thun)
-Viðarr (vih-THAHR)
-Hoðr (HO-thur)
-Hermoð (HER-moth)
-Skaði (SKA-thee)

We mythology nuts have been saying these things wrong for so long? And basically because the runic letter looks kind of like a ‘d’ we decided it was even though it has a completely different sound???

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS MY LIFE IS A LIE

ODIN HIMSELF ISN’T ‘ODIN’ IN OLD NORSE HE’S OÐINN THE WORLD IS CRUMBLING AROUND ME

Riordanverse Characters As Things I’ve Seen/Heard/Said at Work

Grover: That guy who opened his wallet and a bunch of sticks came out

Percy: “If I get hit by a car in the parking lot, will I still get paid?”

Annabeth: “Get back here you Danny Devito looking motherfucker”

Frank: “Have a good boy”

Hazel: That lady who had two alpacas in her pickup truck

Leo: “If you use too much cleaner in the oven it can blow up.” ‘Ok, but how much is that…hypothetically speaking”

Jason: “How many times do I have to get hit in the head before I don’t have to come to work anymore?”

Piper: That delivery person who always asks if they are looking sexy

Nico: *buys his boyfriend a coffee* “wow, cheap first date”

Reyna: “Are you bleeding?” “Yes, but I’m wearing two pairs of gloves so it’s okay.”

Will:”Do you want your receipt?” “No thanks, I can’t read.”

Magnus: That guy who came in at 10:30 at night completely sober without a shirt and only wearing 1 shoe

Samirah:  “If I take a dime out of the leave-a-penny-take-a-penny, does that make me an asshole?” “Yes”

Alex: “Your total is $4.20.” “420?” *whispers* “the weed number”

Hearthstone: I need to wear this jacket at all times…for the aesthetic, Gary.

Blitzen: Those group of guys dressed in neon and drove a group of bright, rainbow jeeps. Referred to as the Brigayde. 

Carter: “Maybe you should do your job better.” “Maybe you should mind your business.”

Sadie:  That person who always wears a unicorn onesie and only comes in after 10 pm. 

Zia: “I am not a white girl. I don’t drink. I have standards”

Walt: “Shrek is my spirit animal”

Apollo: That person who threatened to call the news on us because we wouldn’t give them a discount on gas

Meg: “Please don’t kill moths. Their lives mean more to me than yours”

Calypso: *chugs an entire 16 oz Red Bull in one sitting* “God is dead”

Bugging Out
  • Hufflepuff: Look at what I found! *proudly displays the huge moth they caught*
  • Gryffindor: HOLY SECTUMSEMPRA GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME
  • Ravenclaw: *leans in* I believe that type of moth is-
  • Gryffindor: GET IT AWAY *hides behind Slytherin*
  • Slytherin: Don't be such a baby, Griff-
  • *moth flys towards Slytherin*
  • Slytherin: SWEET SALAZAR SLYTHERIN SAVE ME
  • *Gryffindor and Slytherin grab each other in an attempt to escape the moth*
  • Hufflepuff: I named him Brad.
  • *moth lands in Ravenclaws hands*
  • Ravenclaw: *beginning to smirk* And here's the perfect example of panic. If we bring Brad closer-
  • Slytherin and Gryffindor: NO
Humans Are Space orcs: Mouths

But like.. Humans have teeth literally for everything thing. Our larges facial oraface might be the swisspocket knife of space!
Just stick with me here my dudes, because like, we have power full jaws tha are literally strong enough to shatter our teeth but we have a squishy brain hard wired not to which is why you can’t even if you try (but you can if you are having a seizure! Yay!). We have sharp incisors that cut like clippers, canines for tearing at flesh, and big flat molars to grind and crack stuff. Like…

Imagine ailiens watching in disgust and horror as a crewmate opens a stubborn water bottle with their teeth.

Imagine that same human slowly and carefully grinding some plant to a remarkably fine paste.

Imagine a human child biting an ailien in anger, and that ailien getting an infection FROM HELL BECAUSE MOTHER GAWD OUR TEETH ARE FILTHY!!!!

Then imagine an ailien doctor staring into the slimey overcrowded maw of that kid and watch as a human dentist pulls those extra, murderous, teeth out of the child’s super sensetive gums and putting them in a little baggy to give to a weird folkloreic figue that apparently trades these mouth-knives for currency????!?

And then also learning that the human tongue is super sensetive, in fact one of the most nerve dense areas of our body. And we literally chew RIGHT NEXT TO IT!

ALSO WOW TONGUES ! We use them to make all our weird noises, and they are just like loose,weirdly well coordinated muscels that have the own sensory ability! Like that is the only part of our body we do that sensation with (AGAIN RIGHT NEXT TO THE TEETH???)

Also, as if food consumption l, weaponry -both mechanical and biochemical- and sensory organ was not enough we can breath with our mothes? Like we have extra holes through which to breath??? Ehhhh! So may holes!!!


Now, imagine the suprise of that ailien/human couple when the human finds a whole new set of uses for that terrifying, sensetive, slimey maw.
Perverse!

I should be so much stronger
I need to find my purpose
I have to be so much stronger than this
So I can find where I went wrong.