How Augustine Screwed up Sex
Augustine was a 4th Century Christian Philosopher. He was a strange guy and that’s for sure. In his youth, he was the terror of his pious Christian mother because he refused baptism and well, was having sex with just about anybody and everybody.
He finally got his jollies out and became first a monk and then Bishop of the African city of Hippo. By his time it was becoming pretty clear that Jesus was not coming back anytime soon and so the Church needed something else to explain Jesus’ death and resurrection.
Other church thinkers had tinkered with the idea that men and women were somehow born evil but that ran against the idea the God knew everything and was all powerful. Why create people just to toss them into a pit of eternal torture? This sounded just as sadistic in 417 and it does in 2017. He said God knows what choices we will make but does not make them for us, we have free will.
So, how could an innocent baby be damned just because it had not been baptized? What sin can a baby commit? Well, here is how Augustine explains it. Adam and Eve were guilty of the sin of “concupiscence”, extreme physical lust and that sin was so bad that it sticks to everybody else from birth.
Nice. We’re all born sinners so we need the priests no matter how good we are and sex is bad. It has been this way in the Catholic Church from that day forward. So Augustine had HIS fun but denied it to everybody else.
Note: If you are in Catholic School I suggest that you bring this up to Sister Mary Ratchet in your History of Religion studies. Just make sure to hide her knuckle-rapping ruler first.