we are just trying to share it with you and if it's making you feel horrible then what's the point

Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death

~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted

~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”

~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes

~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”

~They spend the rest of the night talking about it

~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful

~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics

~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own

~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy

~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other

~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately

~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help

~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”

~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth

~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”

~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text

~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters

~The rest come really quickly after that

~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone

~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”

~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)

~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet

~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back

~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time

~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him

~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout

~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them

~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)

~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons

~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)


~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all

~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars

~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside

~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking

~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun


~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex

~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says

~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…”

~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George

~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”

~All the hate sex

~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)

~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand

~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)

~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why

~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them


~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler

~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza

~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat

~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation

~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it

~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all

~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice

anonymous asked:

McHanzo #45? :3

“Tell me a secret.”

Hanzo stretches his arms above his head, gives a contented sigh as the motion pulls out the tightness in his shoulders and spine, and resettles with his arms crossed under the pillow. Beside him, he catches McCree watching him, his gaze flickering down Hanzo’s nude body until it hits the blanket over his lower back, then up again, admiring. Hanzo resists the urge to preen under the attention.

“How’d I ever get so lucky,” McCree murmurs. He rolls onto his side to face Hanzo, leaving a scant few inches between them that, compared to the utter lack of space a few minutes prior, feels like a vast expanse. He reaches over to tenderly brush a piece of hair from Hanzo’s face. Hanzo lets his eyes close, enjoying the simple touch for what it is.

The room around them is dark, the blinds drawn shut with only a sliver of moonlight slipping through at the edge. The rest of the base is utterly quiet, everyone else having gone to sleep. They are the only two awake, and here int his room, they have an intimate bubble all to themselves separate the vast grounds of the Watchpoint.

McCree’s fingers stroke down the side of Hanzo’s face reverently. “Hey,” he says. When Hanzo opens his eyes, McCree continues, “Tell me a secret.”

“A secret?” Hanzo repeats.

“Somethin’ you haven’t told anyone else. I wanna know something about you that no one else does.”

Hanzo thinks for a moment. Eventually, he offers, “I used to think Genji’s green hair made him look like a carrot.”

McCree coughs out a surprised laugh. “What?”

“He used to wear this orange scarf when we were younger, which was fine by itself, but once he dyed his hair … I never told him. He seemed so pleased that I did not want to ruin it for him.”

McCree chuckles, shaking his head awkwardly against the pillow. “As amazin’ as that is,” he says, “I wanted to hear something about you.”

Then perhaps you should give me an example for me to go by.”

McCree hums. His thumb stops its repetitive strokes against Hanzo’s cheek. “I guess that’s fair,” he says. “In that case … I used to have a Deadlock tattoo, right here on my left arm.” He slightly wiggles the arm tucked under his pillow. “Before it got blew off. I could’ve gotten rid of the tat easy, but I kept it. I told everyone I just didn’t wanna deal with the hassle, but truth is, I kept it to remind myself where I came from. I didn’t wanna forget what I did when I was younger. It was horrible, but I wanted to remember so I wouldn’t ever go back to that again.”

He looks just a bit ashamed as he finishes his story, his gaze somewhere over Hanzo’s shoulder. Hanzo takes the hand resting against his face and presses a kiss to the knuckles.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says.

McCree laughs once. “Yeah,” he replies. Then he meets Hanzo’s eye again. “So. What about you?”

Hanzo thinks for a long moment, trying to find some detail of his life to match the intimacy of what McCree just shared with him. He has told every detail of his part in Genji’s death, now, and most of what the Shimada clan was like. Everything else seems either too shameful or too tame. Finally, though, he settles on something. 

“I have … I have never had something like this before,” he says softly. 

“Like what?”

“This relationship. Us.” McCree says nothing, waiting for him to continue, so he does. “I had no interest in others, growing up, and the clan always came first. I could have pursued someone, if I chose, but I did not. There were a few brief flings with others, one-night stands, but never someone I … really cared for. And after Genji, I simply did not think of it again. I was lonely, perhaps, but it did not matter, because I did not deserve it.”

“Oh, darlin’,” McCree starts to say, but Hanzo shakes head against his pillow. 

“I know you will say that is not the case, but that is not the point I am trying to make,” he says. “But that is my secret. Everything with us is new to me.”

McCree’s gaze holds steady with his. “And now?” he asks. “Is this all alright?”

Hanzo smiles. He scoots forward on the pillow until he can press his brow against McCree’s, brushing the tips of their noses together. 

“It is more than alright,” he says. “It is more than I could have ever hoped to have.”

Stole My Heart

Summary: The five times the universe appeared to be against you when you wanted to ask Peter out.

Word Count: 2,622.

A/N: After reading @bovaria‘s fic, “The Five Times Bucky Picks You“, it inspired me to write something along those lines with Peter instead. Although, I decided to do my own spinoff and give it a slight twist. Hope you enjoy :D

Originally posted by spiderholland

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anonymous asked:

Scenario where all the guys are arguing over being in love with the reader? (i want to see how they would handle that.)

I kind of made this an ailment thing anon, cause I just couldn’t see the bros arguing like that T-T I hope this is okay! 

While fighting a group of killer wasps, the boys are doused in an unrecognisable gas. It affects them in a most unusual way…

Fem!Reader x …all of the bros I guess!
WC: 4564 (another longer one, sorry!)


The sound of clanging metal was strong in your ears. You and the boys had unfortunately run into some killer wasps on your journey, and they were posing quite an annoying challenge. The three huge insects were rearing up again, and you knew that at any moment, they were going to release those horrible status ailment gases. Nimbly you dodged out of range.

“Guys! Look out!” But your warning call was too late as thick blue jets of gas expelled from the three wasps, clouding around the boys still in close range.

“Ugh, does it have to smell so bad?” cried Prompto, swishing his arms around desperately in a futile attempt to waft the gas away. You knew that it wasn’t going to stop the gas from working into their bodies though, once it hits you it’s like it clings to you.

“What even is this one?” Noctis yelled, warp striking to one of the wasps trying to fly higher out of reach. He plunged his engine blade into the wasp, bringing it back down to the ground where Ignis impaled it with his spear. One down.

“I must say I am rather confused myself. I’ve never seen that colour before.”

“Yeah well, I say we destroy them before it has a chance to work.” Gladio charged at the second wasp, knocking it to the floor with a heavy swing of his great sword. You agreed with Gladio, the sooner you got out of there the sooner you could see what kind of ailment they had and treat it accordingly.

“Just be careful you guys, don’t let them have a chance to do it again!” You told them, and Prompto swivelled around to face you, shooting you a beaming smile.

“It’s sweet that you’re so worried about us! Don’t worry, we’ve got this.”

As the blonde was speaking the third wasp loomed over him, stinger posed ready to strike, but he hadn’t noticed.

Damn it Prom!

Swiftly you brought up your pistol, borrow from Prompto’s own collection, and fired straight at its body. Prompto turned to see the insect fly backward from the impact of the shot, and turned to you once more.

“Um, thanks!” He grinned sheepishly, resolving to get his head back in the game.

“No problem, let’s get the last one.”

All five of you turned to the last one, hovering above you. Prompto stepped forward this time, raising his gun square at its head. And with one shot, he sent the insect crashing down to the ground, where Gladio hit it with his sword to make sure that it was truly dead.

You relaxed.

“Ahh, thank the gods that’s over.”  You stretched, pocketing your pistol once more.

“Yeah, and you’re getting better with your aim too.” Gladio nodded at you, and you smiled at his praise. You’d only been practicing for a few weeks, and this was really the first fight where you helped in the attack.

“Soon you might be even be as good as me.” Noctis smirked, never passing on the chance to boast. Gladio biffed him on the back of his head, causing you to laugh. Never a dull moment with your boys, that was for sure!

“You alright Iggy?” You turned to look at the tawny haired man who hadn’t yet spoke, his hand cupping his chin in thought.

“Yes, thank you. I’m just wondering… I really haven’t seen that colour of gas before from killer wasps.” He adjusted his glasses, coming to stand beside you as all five of you set off back to camp.

“Yeah, blue is a weird colour for gas!” Prompto agreed from your other side.

“Indeed… and there’s something else rather peculiar.”

“What’s that Ignis?”

“Why has it not affected us yet?”

That stumped everyone. Ignis was right, going by the rest of the gases that the wasps sprayed, the ailment should have been almost instant. It definitely would have been showing itself right about now at the very least, yet none of the boys looked worse for wear.

“Uh… immunity?” Prompto offered hopefully.

“I doubt it. When have we ever been fully immune to status attacks while not wearing protective accessories?”

“Good point specs, but are you saying that there’s something wrong with us here…?” Noctis asked the question that was on all your minds. They hadn’t shown any symptoms yet… but was that really a good thing?

“To give you an honest answer, I don’t know. But I feel we should err on the side of caution.”

And with that thought, the five of you trudged back to camp feeling more than a little weary.


Your stomach was full, you were warm sat beside the fire, and you were very comfortably stretched out on the floor, leaning on one elbow.

That’s the life!

By the time that Ignis had cooked his meal and everyone had consumed their share, the atmosphere had lifted somewhat. There had been no symptoms from any of the boys, and a good couple of hours had passed at least. In fact, the only one still worrying about it was of course, Ignis.

“We’re fine specs. If something were to happen, surely it would’ve happened by now?” Noctis nudged the man in question from his chair, opposite you. Ignis shook his head in reply.

“We don’t know that. Perhaps because it’s a new form of gas, it is a weaker solution than the others? Therefore, it wouldn’t act as fast. Or perhaps it just needs time to slowly work around our bodies?” He mumbled again, staring off into the distance. He really was absorbed in his thought process.

“Eh don’t sweat it. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it.” Gladio gave him a swift slap on the back, bringing him out of his reverie.

“Yes well, I sure hope so.” He answered quietly, re-adjusting his askew glasses.

“Hey [Name]! Do you want to go practice your shooting some more? You’re getting really good!” Prompto bounded over to you and tapped you on your back. He had been giving you shooting lessons for a while now, encouraging you to do your best so you could finally join in the fights properly. Today had been a big step for that, and you didn’t want to back down now.

“Heck yes!” You agreed, standing up instantly and scouring the area looking for the best place for shooting practice. Your eyes landed on a spot not far away from camp, in a clearing from the trees. The other boy should also be able to watch you and offer advice from where they were too.

“How about there?”

“Prefect!” And with that you followed Prompto down the hill, readying your pistol to practice. Prompto stood at the side of you, his own pistol aimed and at the ready.

“Right, so you wanna stand with your legs slightly apart to get the best balance, plant your feet firmly on the ground… well, when you can, I mean that may not be possible when you’re being attacked by killer wasps-”

“Get on with it!” Gladio called from the top of the hill, causing Prompto to flush in response. He loved this teacher roll; it felt great to be able to help someone like he was doing, to be needed by someone. So he felt anxious to not get it wrong.

“A-ah, you’re right! Okay so just copy my stance.”

You watched Prompto stand the way he just explained to you, his gun ready in an outstretched hand, and you did your best to mimic him.

“Like this?”

“Y-yeah you got it!”

That had sounded odd… Quickly you threw Prompto a glance. Was his speech getting slurred…?

“Okay, now raise your gun… aim for the branch of that tree there.”

Ignoring the slight slur and putting it down to exhaustion, you did as he asked and aimed for the tree in the distance.

“Now… shoot.”

The sound of the bullet echoed in the wide clearing, but the sound of the bullet lodging in the offending wood sounded even better to your ears.

“Yes!” You cried, hearing clapping from the top of the hill. The three boys were smiling at you, pleased you were getting better. It warmed your heart. Their support meant everything to you, and once again you were pleased that they had decided to let you join in their journey.

Gladio began chatting to Ignis, and you felt like having another go now two less people were watching. It would be less pressure for you. Cheeks flushed with excitement, you turned back to Prompto.

“Can I have another go?”

He chuckled at your eager expression, his big blue eyes sparkling.

“Of course! This time, try and show me the stance on your own.”

Nodding, you got to work.

Now what was it he said…? Stand with your legs apart for balance… feet on firmly planted… raise your arm…

“Is that it?” You asked, trying to look at the blonde over your shoulder.

“Nearly. You just need to move your leg an inch… no kind of like… hang on a second, I’ll show you.”

And in a completely unexpected move, Prompto came to stand very close behind you, his arms resting on your hips. It was like his proximity was suddenly all you could focus on, the almost feel of his chest against your back, the light drift of his breathing as his chin rested on your shoulder ever so lightly. The very real feeling of his fingers steadying your hips.


“Here, this arm needs to straighten out a little.” He uttered, his lips right at the shell of your ear, his voice taking on an unusually deep tone. His hands ran up from your hips, up along your waist and over your sides until he came to your arms. His fingers overlapped your elbows, gently coaxing them straight.

“Much better, though, your stance is still a little off…”


Suddenly you felt the pressure of Prompto’s leg sliding in between yours, tapping your feet slightly until you nudged them further apart. He kept his foot firmly planted between yours, his leg ever so slightly brushing against yours, sending chills up your body from the contact.

Well, this is certainly intimate.

“Prom, what are you doing?” You whispered, trying to turn your head to face him.

“Correcting your stance.” Was his simple answer, and suddenly you felt silly for asking. Of course that’s what he was doing. Perhaps a little unusual for Prompto who seemed to be a spluttering mess when he touched a girl, but maybe that’s just how bad your stance was.

Damn, I’ve really got to try harder.

So you left it at that, trying to ignore the slight buzz you were getting from his contact, choosing instead to focus on your aim.

Unbeknownst to you however, another set of piercing blue eyes were watching your every move.

What the hell is he doing?

Noctis had his head resting on a tightly closed fist, knowing that he probably looked as grumpy as he felt. But he just couldn’t help it. Prompto was over there just… just straight up fondling her in front of him. Under the guise of practice shooting, no less.

How dare he?

Shooting a quick look over at Ignis and Gladio, he realised they hadn’t noticed what was happening at the foot of that hill.

How could they not realise what he has done to get his grubby little hands on her?

Looking back down at the pair, his eyes zeroed in on Prompto’s fingers drifting over her body, his leg between hers, his arms pretty much wrapped around her…

He’s just imposing his presence on her like that!

He forcefully blew his fringe out of his face in annoyance, feeling his anger at the situation rise. And yet he just could not tear his eyes away from the scene unfolding before him.

“Noct, are you alright?” Ignis interjected his thoughts, draw by the annoyed huff.

“Just peachy.”

Ignis looked over to Gladio in confusion, who just shrugged in reply. Ignis knew at once what the big guy was thinking – bratty prince having another sulk, leave him to it. And so he did, continuing his earlier conversation.

Noctis meanwhile, was becoming increasingly frustrated. He felt his face becoming flusher by the second, his fists tightening as his blood boiled. His wide, piercing blue eyes alight with anger.

“You’re so good at this Prompto!” Came the sweet sound of her melodic voice, and he could stand it no longer. Forcefully, Noctis stood up from his chair and strolled down the hill, meeting the two at the bottom.

You noticed the raven haired boy’s presence before Prompto, and you turned around to face him, wiggling out of Prompto’s grasp. You smiled at him welcomingly, not registering the straight up scowl etched on his features as he continued walking, ignoring you completely. No, it seemed he had focused all his attention on the blonde stood next to you… Confused, you tried to talk to him.

“Hey, Noctis! Have you come to join in the- what the fuck?” You cried as Noctis had just continued on in strong strides, straight up to Prompto. Before you even had a chance to register what was happening, the prince had thrown back his fist and swung it straight into Prompto’s chest, causing him to stumble. It would have been his face had Prompto not moved at the last second, dodging to the side instead.

“Noctis – the hell are you doing?” You cried, dashing over to where Prompto had stumbled over with the intention of checking over the no doubt distraught boy. But as you reached him… you realised he had sat up himself, wearing a self-satisfied smirk.

Uh… that’s not the reaction I expected. You backed away slightly as Prompto rose to his feet, thoroughly confused at the scene unfolding in front of you. The air almost crackled with the tension in it, Noctis and Prompto pretty much squaring up to each other. The former was gritting his teeth in major annoyance, shaking his hand to ease off the sting. The latter was dusting himself off, that smirk never once slipping.

What… what has gotten into these guys?

“Did ya see that, your highness?” Prompto almost spat the title, something which you’d never heard him call Noctis even in a respectful manner. His tone had become incredibly cocky, it was completely jarring against his usual boyish voice.

Noctis didn’t answer, only glared back with shinning eyes.

“She came over to me. How do you like that? Mr I receive everything on a silver platter. This is one thing you can’t get – her!”

Hang on a second… what now? Since you were the only female around, they had to be talking about you. But you’d never disclosed your romantic feelings to anyone, it just wasn’t something you spoke about with the boys. Where on earth had this all come from?

“And it’s the one thing I won’t give up on.” Noctis answered angrily, balling his hands into fists once more. Prompto seemed to find this highly amusing, his smirk widening.


“Um, what the hell is going on here?” You cried, frustrated. This had to be some kind of wind up didn’t it? Quickly you flitted your gaze over to the two remaining boys atop the hill to see they were out of their chairs and watching the scene unfold with the same confusion in their eyes.

“Everything alright down there?” Came Ignis’ cautious voice. Even he felt unsure at what was happening, and also what to do.

Before you could answer, Prompto waved so casually to the tawny haired man, as if he was greeting an acquaintance.

“Superb, specs!” He called back cheerily, before his eyes rested on Noctis once more. His smile grew more pronounced, sending shivers up your spine. This… this wasn’t like your Prompto at all.

“I’ve seen the way you look at her. Pathetic.”

Noctis shook his head angrily, his frown deepening.

“Isn’t it enough that you have Lunafreya too? You always get everything Noctis.”

“Shut up.”

“And yet you still want more.”

“I said shut up!”

So ungrateful.”

And with that Noctis seemed to snap. With a strangled cry he charged forward once more, fists at the ready but this time Prompto knew what was happening. He swung back himself and soon the two boys were a flurry of fists, dull thwacks and crunches could be heard as the swings connected.

What…what in the…

“Noctis, stop! Prompto – ugh, help!” You turned pleadingly to Gladio and Ignis, seeing that they were already running down the hill to help break up the fight.

“[Name] get back!” Gladio cried, rushing forward to lock his arms around Noctis’ waist. Ignis ran behind Prompto to do the same, and eventually the two boys were pulled apart, breathing heavily. Prompto’s cheek seemed badly bruised, and Noctis has a shallow gash across his forehead.

“What in the name of the gods do you think you are doing?” Gladio admonished them both, the annoyance evident in his tone.

“Someone had to stop him from creeping on her.” Noctis kicked his legs out and struggled to get out of Gladio’s grip, meanwhile Prompto was stood calmly, not resisting Ignis’ hold.

“What are you talking about?” You’d just about had enough of this, whatever it was. You just wanted your old Prompto and Noctis back.

“He’s referring to his crippling jealousy, that’s what he’s talking about.” Prompto answered you, his tone still so sure and full of himself, rubbing a hand across his bruised cheek.

“Speak for yourself, you think you’re so slick? Don’t think we haven’t noticed how you always put your sleeping bag next to hers first in the tent. Desperate is what I’d call it.”

And for the first time since the whole thing had started, Prompto’s confident façade slipped at Noctis’ words and his features contorted in anger.

“How dare you?”

“How dare I what? Tell the truth?”

“Stop it! You sound like children!” You yelled at them both, finally causing them to stop squabbling for just a second. Were they actually both arguing about… about having feelings for you?

“Yes, I agree. You are both rather behaving like babies.” Ignis finally piped up, letting go of Prompto to straighten his glasses out. When he looked up, his eyes were shining. You sighed in relief, at least someone was talking sense.

“[Name] is rather befitting a man, wouldn’t you say?”

Maybe not.

His words took you by surprise, and even Gladio looked put out.


“What would you want these children for? I could really look after you.”

A slow smile spread across his face, one that didn’t sit too well with you. A sinking feeling coiled in the pit of your stomach as it dawned on you – whatever had happened to Noctis and Prompto had happened to Ignis too. All three of them were acting really strangely, and even if they did all feel that way about you, the normal guys would never have approached it this way!

“Oh no, not you too Iggy.” You whispered, wishing this nightmare would just come to an end.

“You hear that specs? She isn’t interested.” Noctis gloated and pulled free from Gladio’s shock loosened arms.

“That’s not what I – stop it!”

Straight away the prince had launched himself at Prompto once more, at the same time that Prompto had gone to knock Ignis over. The result was a three way fight, all participants using their well-honed battle skills against each other. None of them were listening to your pleas, and there was no way you could intervene. You had only just started your battle training, you weren’t as fast as Noctis, or as good an aim as Prompto, or even as lithe as Ignis. To stop all three of them would be impossible.

“Gladio, do something!” You turned to the only man left with his head not clouded with some sort of irrational anger.

Wait, clouded…? Clouded! The one word sparked a realisation within you – this had to be the work of that blue gas! It was the only explanation as to why the boys had all been affected in the same way; irrational anger, possessiveness…

And lust randomly? You remembered the touch of Prompto’s hands again, altering your shooting position earlier. You had thought it unusual for him at the time, but it made sense now. They were all reacting as if certain emotions had really been heightened, that had to be the symptoms of the gas. But they had all been struck by the gas, and that meant…

Slowly you looked up at the man stood beside you, to see that his eyes were also shimmering in the same, hazy way that the other boys’ eyes had.

Oh no

Your elation at figuring out what was wrong soon disappeared, replaced by an unsettled feeling in your stomach.

“Gladio…?” You whispered hopefully, but it was like he couldn’t hear you. He was listening intently to the three boys currently fighting.

“You both have no chance. Do you even know her favourite food? Her favourite colour? How about her favourite song?” Ignis taunted, ducking low to avoid Noctis’ leg swinging for him in a strong kick.

“That I can find out about her! You don’t know how best to comfort her. Oh yes, one night when she was feeling down? She came to me.” The prince goaded, grinning at their pained expressions.

“You? Now I know you’re lying, you’re about as comforting as a wet mop, Mr help-I-can’t-deal-with-emotions.” Prompto cried and tripped Noctis up, the latter landing hard on the ground with a dull moan. Angrily, he scrambled back up to his feet before Ignis could land a punch.

“I don’t know what you’re all squawking about.” Gladio interrupted, causing the three boys to freeze momentarily, looking at him wearily. “You know it’s me who can keep her warm at night. Has she ever cuddled up to you in our tent before? I didn’t think so.” He answered with a smirk, and you felt like burying your face in your hands.

When will this end? Other status ailments usually wore off on their own, but this one was so slow to start with, who knew when it would end?

Suddenly with a heavy thud, Prompto collapsed onto his knees and fell face first onto the floor.

Prompto!” You screeched, running forward and kneeling beside him hurriedly. You hadn’t even considered the possibility that this ailment could actually… kill any of them. Nervously, you took hold of one wrist, checking for any signs of life. A steady pulse thrummed under your fingers, and you sighed in relief.

“He’s alive! Just fainted.” You breathed.

“Huh, fainted. What a coward.”

Returning your focus back to Prompto, you brushed his blonde hair gently out of his face. From that touch alone you could feel the heat radiating off his forehead – he had a fever. Was this good or bad? Did it mean his body was fighting off the ailment?

“Oh Prom. I hope you wake up soon.”


The shout brought your attention back to the other three, and instantly your eyes clapped onto the fallen frame of Noctis. He had also collapsed in a similar way to Prompto. It had to be the effect of the gas.

“I can’t believe…that they…” But Ignis never had a chance to finish his sentence as he followed suit, hitting the floor with a dull bang. Gladio followed straight after, his immune system most likely the stronger of the four.

Looking around you, you sighed heavily. Now what?


In the end, you had decided to bring the tent down to the boys, doing your best to shove them into the small space. It had been a horrible waiting game, dabbing a cool cloth at their roasting foreheads and praying that they would be okay. You’d never been more scared in your life, and you were damn sure you hadn’t slept for longer than five minutes when you felt someone shaking your shoulder.

“[Name]! [Name] c’mon, it’s time to get up or Iggy will be furious!”

“Huh?” You groaned, sitting up and opening your bleary eyes to see…

“Prompto! You’re okay!” You gasped, now wide awake. He was knelt in front of you, his cheek significantly better and his usual happy grin on his face.

“Huh? Course I am! Though for some reason this side of my face is really sore… I must have slept on it funny.” The boy sat in front of you rubbed his cheek, in the exact same place where it had swollen the day before.

“What… do you not remember how you did it?” You asked, thoroughly confused.

“Eh, not really. But since we are fighting all the time, I was probably battling it out heroically with some sort of beast.” He chuckled, and then swivelled on his heel and left you alone in the tent. Unless he was a brilliant actor – which you knew he wasn’t since he was terrible at lying – Prompto had all but forgotten the events of last night.

Eagerly you threw on your clothes and scrabbled out of the tent. On top of that hill, stood all four of the boys, chatting and laughing as usual.

What on earth…?

As confused as you were however, the relief in your heart was overwhelming. Your boys were safe, they were alive and best of all they were back to normal.

“Come on [Name], your breakfast is getting cold!” Ignis tutted in his usual, friendly yet admonishing manner that hinted he was only slightly annoyed.

Without hesitating you ran up the hill happily, smiling at the welcoming sight of the group all back to normal, though confusingly, none of them seemed to remember what had happened in their hazy state the night before. But that suited you just fine. You weren’t about to relive the horrifying details, but you knew to stay away from killer wasps in the future.

“I still don’t know why you pitched the tent down there big guy.” Prompto gestured to the tent as you dug into your breakfast.

“Actually… I don’t either. But I thought of it, so it must have been a good reason.”

“Maaan, I was so tired last night I must have just blacked out when my head hit the pillow.” Noctis stretched, beginning to pack away the camping things.

So they really don’t remember…

“Me too.” Prompto agreed.

“And me… Iggy must have cooked us a fine meal that sent us straight to sleep.” Gladio nodded at Iggy who smiled and shook his head.

“I hope that you consider all my meals that way.” He half-joked.

After you had finished wolfing down your breakfast, you helped pack away the remaining items into the regalia and soon you were on your way again, sat in between a napping Noctis and a reading Gladio. Things had really gone back to normal.

But as you relaxed in the back of the car, pleased that your boys were safe, you couldn’t help but wonder… did that gas force the illusion of those strong feelings for you onto the guys, or did it simply heighten the feelings that were already there…? You cast a quick glance at each of them, all blissfully unaware of what they had said last night.

I wonder

A/N: What do you think, dear reader? :3

let's talk about Bucky’s brain

I dunno if anyone’s done this before but whatever. Specifically, I want to talk about Bucky’s brain in relation to the cannibalized MRI thing they strapped on his noggin in CA:TWS. Like what the hell is that thing, how old is it, what are you trying to do HYDRA, is this one of those weird dryer things you stick your whole head in at the hairdresser’s? They have had 70 years to perfect this technology and it looks like a high schooler’s science fair project. There aren’t even any electrodes. Seriously there should be electrodes not only because they’re kind of necessary for this sort of thing but also because who would object to Bucky Barnes looking totally punk rock with a partially-shaved head? No one, that’s who.

But I guess let’s just assume the plate things themselves are in contact with his head and transmitting the charge themselves. Okay. That’s a big area they cover and approximately zero opportunity for finesse, so they can’t localize the damage at all. And there’s still all that hair in the way. But whatever, I’ll shut up about the hair.

So the plate things are basically concentrated on the prefrontal cortex, which is at the very front of the brain, behind the forehead where the plates are located. I mean there looks like there are plates going around around the back of the head but if it only goes as deep as the cerebrum they don’t want to damage anything back there because it’s all motor skills and balance and sensory perception and language centers, all of which were vital in the Winter Soldier’s functioning. 

So yeah, the prefrontal cortex seems to be what they’re targeting, and the prefrontal cortex is for short term memory and decision making. However, it would be indescribably stupid to damage short term memory retention, so I don’t think they’d just fry the entire prefrontal cortex. Especially if it could compromise his ability to make quick, logical decisions in the field because the prefrontal cortex is important for logic and impulse control. So I would assume that they’re targeting the connections between the short term and long term memory storage systems rather than taking away his short term memory altogether. 

Basically, recalling a memory that’s stored in long-term is just the brain returning it to the short-term memory center, or the working memory, concentrated in the prefrontal cortex. From there your brain literally refires all the neurons that fired during that experience, without compromising awareness of current circumstances. So severing those connections between long and short term memory would not only stop him retaining new memories, it would stop him recalling old ones.

They could be messing with his long term memory, except there are no intracranial bits and bobs that could actually penetrate deeper than the cerebrum without frying everything in between, and the hippocampus and amygdala where long term memory is stored are in there deep. 

This picture doesn’t do justice to how deep in the brain the hippocampus and amygdala are, but it works well enough as a visual aid. You don’t want to damage the amygdala in a super soldier at any rate because that’s where the survival instincts are kicking around. Also, damaging the hippocampus on both sides of the brain would turn him into a potato, unable to retain any information at all, not even how to discharge his weapon, so you’d basically have to retrain him anew for every mission. And this contraption has clearly no finesse at all, as stated above, so I really don’t think they’d be able to destroy anything only partially or make any localized alterations.

And sure, maybe they actually opened up his head at some point in the past to get at long term memory storage, and the cryofreeze might stop that from healing, but I think the understanding of the brain was so ridiculously limited at that time that they didn’t really even know how to avoid excessive damage, and I don’t think they would have risked rendering one of their best assets brain dead. Honestly, I think the most likely thing they did was supplement the physical stuff with more traditional brainwashing and conditioning techniques.

So really, all Bucky needs to do is repair the connections between his long term and short term memory. Even with all this damage, the brain is adaptable even in normal humans. When certain parts are damaged, other parts can take over functioning in their stead. Although in this case, if the connections between long and short term memory were cut every time he went into the cryogenic chamber, he never would have stored any of the information gleaned as the Winter Soldier past the short term unless he managed to catch enough sleep to transfer those memories into long term storage before he got zapped or frozen again. So he would potentially remember everything about being Bucky Barnes fairly quickly, assuming his super soldier healing could repair those pathways or create new ones to compensate, and he would never remember most of his time as the Winter Soldier except what they wanted him to remember and let him encode before they took out those connections again. So basically, his combat training, his obedience training, and all that hydra indoctrination crap.

His old memories as Bucky would remain relatively pristine, because the more we view a memory the more current circumstances during the recollection alter it, and what you remember becomes less and less similar to what you actually experienced at the time. So instead of memories slowly changing and evolving as the person themself changes, which is what normally happens as we revisit memories and subtly alter them over time through new perception, Bucky would have this huge, disorienting, sickening divide between the well-preserved, untouched old memories of how he used to be and any new ones he managed to create as the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier memories will be less fleshed out, have more holes, be generally more ghost-like because of how they fucked with his brain and memories, so it would be easy for him to dissociate with them and to ignore them, but in order to ignore them Bucky would also have to ignore their consequences. He would be denying a part of himself. And he wouldn’t be able to deal well with their fallout, with the ways those experiences changed him, because he wouldn’t let himself examine them.

Honestly this is horrifying in its own way. All the fic I’ve read talks about how horrible it must be for the Winter Soldier to forget Bucky Barnes, but very little touches on how horrible it would be for Bucky to be all there and have a stranger in his head that he has few, dissociated memories of, but still retains a lot of that conditioning and finds himself acting like someone he doesn’t even remember being. He would feel betrayed by his own body and his own mind, doing things without knowing why he was doing them. I feel like not being the same Bucky as the one who went off to war would be so frustrating to him. Fics paint it as Steve being frustrated by the fact that Bucky’s no longer the same person, but I think Bucky himself would be far more frustrated by that fact than Steve. I think the fact that he’s not the same would bother him more than Steve’s longing for him to be the same, because he would understand that longing, share it even. I think he would dissociate from the foreign Winter Soldier part of himself, would try to bury it or force it out instead of facing it, would hate whatever memories he did retain from that time, because the Winter Soldier terrifies everyone but I think he would terrify Bucky most of all. And it would make sense, too. After all, the winter soldier was always supposed to be a ghost, the unseen threat, the silent killer, and I think, rather than inhabiting Bucky, the Soldier would haunt him, something he can’t prepare for or fight unless he’s willing to look through the dark to find it and confront it.

(All images blatantly stolen)

the situation on bts’ colorism in the japanese magazine

this is a long post, however i believe theres lots to understand on this subject that cannot be dismissed. i have two disclaimers: first, please read until the end before criticizing because when i say i made an effort to include all views i mean it. second, there will be hetero references in this since the interview was about their ideal girl.. i apologize n i dont mean to assume their sexuality or anything.

there are three main parts to this; 1) lets understand the whole picture, 2) be fair and 3) for those who were hurt by the “interview” and to those who want to dismiss them (this is not patronizing, i really fucking sympathize here)

lets understand the whole picture

to begin, I’m pretty much positive they didn’t actually interview bts for the magazine… rather, they drew on old interviews for the magazine… i don’t think the members were actually involved in any way with this magazine specifically. there a few posts about this and i’ll like them, but the best was by @jkguks. they showed how each exact response was recycled from an old interview. the post can be found here. comments have also been made that this magazine is known for such moves in the past and that their credibility isn’t so great. @allforbts pointed out here that the magazine didnt have a photoshoot – they reused pictures from other sources – which probably indicates they didn’t have an actual interview; however this isn’t real evidence. in my own personal opinion i dont trust the person who posted the translations on twitter. yes the translations are correct as far as we all know, but what i mean is… i think she knew the interview was old/reused. everyone that asked about the interview’s date received no response from her. she even made a comment about how many followers shes gained. if she cleared up that the interview was old or reused then this whole thing would die out n she’d stop getting followers. anyway i find it suspicious but i could also just be reading too far into it. the whole point of this is that at this point we can pretty much conclusively say that the interview is recycled n this is not something they said recently. this is not to devalue the weight of their words because it still hurt a lot of people. old or new, getting told your skin color is “unideal” is painful. however we do wanna look at this because we at least now know that their status of “since educated on colorism and racism and now pretty pc/sensitive” is not going to be revoked! they’ve since educated themselves, that is still the truth. this is just the ugly past come to rear its head.

on the other end of understanding the whole picture, i’m going to make a sorta controversial statement. hopefully in fully explaining it, you all will get the full idea… but for the sake of k-armys who are getting attacked by intl fans constantly and also for the sake of perspective – which may lessen the blow of their words for those hurt by them – i need to say this. the concept of colorism is alive and well in korea… it just isn’t the same as it is in the west. in the west – for the most part – we are more ethnically/racially diverse while korea is almost entirely racially/ethnically homogeneous. so how does this effect the meaning of colorism? well because one of the largest identifiable traits when looking at the differences between the world’s races n ethnicities is skin color, race/ethnicity will always be tied to skin color, especially in really diverse areas. in the west where we are consistently exposed to different races/ethnicities as part of our daily lives, a preference of skin color holds not only colorist implications but also racist implications. if some mayo dude said “i think darker skin is ugly on girls” we can safely assume hes a racist fuck on top of being colorist. however, since korea is homogenous, there isnt any real racist implications. let me elaborate: korea has issues with being racist against other poc, however in an interview discussing ideal types where the ideal type is already assumed to be at the very basis korean (or maybe another east asian ethnicity if you’re stretching it), the statement on skin color is directed at people of their shared race. so how is this less problematic? it is still problematic definitely – i’d like to make this clear – but in korea, the concept of skin color amongst koreans as a beauty standard isnt racially or ethnically motivated and therefore its more akin to saying “i prefer blue eyes over brown eyes on white girls” because they’re discussing a physical variance within their own race. in the end, it’s still colorist, but please try to understand that in korea the remarks arent as horrible. they still shouldn’t say that, and really, any discussion of skin color preferences is ugly, but it’s extremely important to be considerate of korean culture. intl fans forget constantly that we are guests to korean culture. if you were invited to someones house you wouldnt bust in there feeling entitled n doing whatever the fuck you want. you’d try and respect their rules and how they run their home. if you had a problem with something there, you’d politely ask them to accommodate you, explaining why that accommodation was necessary. you wouldnt fucking trash them for not having their house already equipped to your preference. thats incredibly selfish. this is the same way. you are guests to this culture, and while you shouldnt allow colorism to continue, this theme of entitlement amongst intl fans – especially when we have done very little to respect their culture; we demand they understand ours while continually paying theirs no regard – is really shamefully. i ask that people reading this do their best to be more considerate in the future. not everything is black n white… lots of things have grey area and we can afford to be more socially conscious. im pretty sure most k-fans have it about up to here dealing with koreaboos criticizing their culture… 

be fair

this is a short statement but i need to remind you all that most of the members were problematic in that interview and if you are only trashing namjoon you need to fucking stop. you are allowed to offended, of course – i was pretty bothered too seeing how im the opposite to namjoons ideal in every way, my bias who i’d fucking die for – but if your whole focus is “namjoon this and namjoon that” than youre being a biased ass and im gonna need you to sit down. if youre going to be mad, by all means, be mad, but dont fucking pretend the other members said nothing wrong. im sick of people pretending every member but namjoon is perfect and unproblematic. present day he’s probably the most un-problematic member since educating himself on racial issues, feminism, n lgbtq rights, making himself an advocate for them all while idols remain silent…. hmm…. but keeping pushing that “problematic member” agenda sure. yeah lets pretend the facts dont exist ok

for those who were hurt by the “interview” and to those who want to dismiss them

fans who read through the interview n realized they kinda fit their bias’ ideal type – esp in terms of skin color – please don’t make comments on how people need to “get over this”. for many fans, especially non light skinned poc, this really hurt. not only as a “i don’t fit my bias’ ideal type” but also as a betrayal of trust. many non light skinned poc have experienced some type of discrimination for their skin color and many had their sense of self confidence fucked over for it. its not just a “you dont think darker skin is beautiful, aw :(” its more of a, “you are someone i love and support and the fact that you’d call my skin color less attractive – the skin color for which i’ve had to struggle to find my own confidence in – just like so many others, feels like betrayal”. its really hurtful. so don’t be dismissive. you don’t understand. this isnt your discussion, im sorry.

and lastly, to the fans who were hurt by the interview. im sorry boo. im sorry that the industry you support continues to hurt you. im sorry someone you decided to love and support made you feel like that. please remember that the ideal type is such a flimsy concept. they really dont mean anything. those questions were grossly specific n they were so unnecessary, but at the end of the day, they are still made up preferences. the boys wouldn’t find you unattractive for not meeting the bits on their checklist – fuck no. attraction just doesnt work like that. no one falls in love with the person that hit everything on their little “ideal type” checklist. honestly, if you asked me to describe my ideal type n i just listed shit off the top of my head, it probably wouldnt add up to namjoon…. but in every way namjoon perfect to me. im fucking whipped. this is the same. dont take their ideals to heart, dont feel like anything on you needs to change. you are exactly the way you need to be, and dont ever let some guys “ideal type” make you feel any less. n if anyone every tries to tell you that you’re failing to meet their beauty standards… fucking kick them. fcuk them seriously. dont let this shit effect your self confidence. gross comments like that dont deserve a thought in your head

anonymous asked:

You did a post on the similarities between Slytherin and Ravenclaw, what similarities does Slytherin share with the other two houses?

I could’ve sworn I had an older post that was about the shared traits and similarities with the other houses but I can’t find it. Nevermind I found it!! It’s here! But it’s also a lot smaller than I thought it was so here’s a bit of a longer answer for you my dear nonnie:

Gryffindor & Slytherin:

  • Brave, Courageous & Daring, 
  • the Gryffindors make the conscious choice to be brave, courageous and daring rather frequently; 
  • but it takes a great deal of bravery, daring and courage to go after what you want like Slytherins do
  • Confident & Chivalrous:
  • Again Gryffindors make the conscious choice/effort to be confident and chivalrous
  • Most Slytherins are raised to be chivalrous because it’s one of those traditional traits that are valued and those who aren’t brought up to be chivalrous are generally taught in Slytherin house by way of example
  • Slytherins taught to be confident, and if you aren’t able to be truly confident you should be able to come across as if you are
  • Also I feel like these two houses are probably the most likely to respond to dares, Gryffindors from basically anyone, Slytherins are more likely to only respond to dares from their friends and housemates
  • Both are ridiculously competitive, like to the point of stupidity 

Hufflepuff & Slytherin:

  • Loyal & Friendly:
  • Both houses are incredibly loyal, Hufflepuff are naturally loyal and see no reason not to be unless you give them one
  • Slytherins however are selectively loyal, generally to their family (unless their family is so atrocious or horrible), friends, causes and house.
  • Hufflepuff again see no reason to not be friendly, whereas Slytherin see every reason to be friendly, honey catches more flies than vinegar after all.
  • Hard Working, Patient & Dedicated
  • Hufflepuffs and Slytherins are both incredibly aware that hard work, patience and dedication are needed when trying to get something done, and at times, dealing with other people
  • Slytherins are just more likely to find ways to reduce the workload and time to help them accomplish their goals more efficiently, but both feel the satisfaction when their hard work and patience have paid off
  • Tolerant
  • Hufflepuffs are generally much more naturally tolerant than Slytherins, but you will find so many more Slytherins who don’t care about blood status and you will find a lot of people with multiple identifiers that aren’t the social norm or majority in Slytherin House

Ravenclaw & Slytherin:

  • Intellectual & Logical:
  • Both houses tend to lean towards intellectualism and logically ruled these houses are very similar
  • Ravenclaws love knowledge and learning because it’s knowledge and learning, Slytherins love knowledge and learning because knowledge is power and it never hurts to learn something new,
  • Both Ravenclaws and Slytherins love intellectual conversation and debate, we crave it, and even the introverts of the houses will brave others to have an intellectual conversation,
  • Sharp Minded, Clever and Wisdom:
  • Again both houses show a similar fondness and natural lean to being sharp minded, Slytherins use their sharp minds to notice all those little things in the everyday and file them away for later to use in their machinations, Ravenclaws use their sharp minds to not only get into their common room but also to further their academic and intellectual pursuits
  • Inhabitants of both houses are clever, they both use their cleverness to see all the angles and find an efficient solution,
  • Both Ravenclaws and Slytherins learn from their mistakes and mistakes of others
  • They are also the most likely to be the houses that get into ridiculous sounding arguments over completely nerdy things and possibilities
  • Creativity:
  • Slytherins and Ravenclaws are both creative, artistically and otherwise.
  • Slytherins are creative in the sense that we we can get very creative with our means to the end
  • Ravenclaws and Slytherins are both creative in the sense that we are curious and can get creative when we try to see if there is a more efficient or effective way to get the results we want.

I think all the houses share traits, they are just displayed differently. 

Gryffindor is the house that tries its hardest to live up to their traits, both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw live up to their traits rather naturally, they don’t particularly try or think about it. Slytherin is a house with a bad rep, because we aren’t afraid to own up to our bad eggs, so we think about which traits we display to the rest of the world and how, we also take the risks and rewards of which traits and how we display them into account. We are known for our cunning after all.

The Unblessed - Part 2


Previous part - Next Part 

Unseelie Bucky x Reader

Summary: Everybody knows to stay away from the forest, where the Seelie and Unseelie courts remain as a permanent danger to humans. But when the people in your village begin to starve and you face a dangerous journey to the land of the fae, you never think of the consequences it may bring… Until the Prince of Winter himself sets his eyes on you.

Warnings: Blood, death

Word count: 3827

A.N:  Consider me officially invested in this story. I almost couldn’t get this chapter out, but I think it turned our pretty well… Buckle up kids! You’re in for one hell of a ride. MWAHAHAHA!
As usual, this is dedicated to the beautiful Ella @buckysinthesinbin for being a ray of sunshine and helping me pull this through while also putting up with all my  whims and threats and exited texts at one in the morning. You’re the best <3

Originally posted by pretty-dead-dog

The small cottage is unusually silent when you wake up. The fire has stopped crackling, wooden logs turned black sitting idly in a heap on the fireplace. There’s no wind, and even the permanently broken window frame has ceased its constant tapping against the wall. A large layer of frost is covering the window now, seeping through the cracks in the glass, tiny ice crystals spreading over the wall next to your bed.

You’ve spent four days locked inside the house, always under the watchful eye of the other girls you share the cottage with, towering over you at all times of the day to make sure nothing strange is going on. Everyone’s been especially paranoid since you came back, not letting you out of their sight for a second, so the girl’s absence only serves to make you uneasy. They wouldn’t have left you unless something bad happened, not when the winter has every single person on edge, and dread builds in your gut when you find your iron tipped knives gone from the bedside table.

Something is wrong, you think, something is terribly, horribly wrong. And you can almost feel it in the air now, like static ready to snap at any second.

Keep reading

Sweet Heart

Request: “i was wondering if i could request a NewtxRearder where the reader is an expert on dragons,basilisks and other large reptilian creatures and newt goes work with her for a few months and she’s a little cold at first but newt sees she’s just misunderstood like her creatures and there’s fluff in the end?maybe a series?a smut chapter?wherever you wanna take it”

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Sitting on the scaffolding inside the newly furbished reptilian sector, you flicked through the profile you had been given on the man you were to work with in the following months. He had an impressive resume, but it didn’t help the aching disappointment that had taken root in your heart. The Ministry didn’t think you were capable of conducting this research assignment on your own, and it really took a great blow to your pride. You were supposed to be their top reptilian researcher, and yet, they had called in the support of some wizard you had no use for. The Runespoor you were patting huffed, its right head peering down at the sheet with distaste.

Keep reading

A few fashion tips for our Transfeminine friends

This is simply a list of a few tips you can use to relieve some dysphoria you may have about certain aspects of your body. This is meant to help with a few key problems that are common among transfeminine individuals specifically amab people. You may not be able to relate to all of these or some of these tips may not be helpful to you specifically due to dysphorias or for safety. We sincerely hope that some of these may be able to help a few people make some changes that will improve how they feel about themselves. 

1. A very common problem among a lot of our taller friends trying to find feminine clothing to wear, is that pant legs are just never long enough. Current fashion trends however do relieve some of this. The solution to this is really simple, you can roll up the legs of your pants just slightly; this will look as though they are shorter on purpose! 

2. If you feel like your legs are too long, you may want to avoid high-waisted bottoms, as this exaggerates the length of the leg and appears to raise the point where the leg actually starts. You can look for low-waisted pants or avoid leg dysphoria all together by using a mid-length (or longer) skirt or dress that hides the leg length.

3. Another common issue to have, is to feel as though your shoulders are too broad or prominent. The key to this, is instead of simply finding clothing that hugs the shoulders tightly, try to find tops that add more of a thickness to the hip area, this can mean that the shirt flares or “poofs” out on the lower half, giving your top half a more of that “women’s bathroom symbol” look (I promise it’s not as lame as it sounds). You can also use a more flared dress to add volume to your hips to balance the shoulders, you can even cut it with a belt around the waist to add a curvature to your waist and balance between top and bottom of your body.

4. If you’re uncomfortable with your height or really any aspect of your body, and it makes you very uncomfortable, here’s a good one that’s really underrated: TEXTURES, PATTERNS, AND ACCESSORIES!! The brighter and more obnoxious, the better. Yes people will look at you, but they aren’t actually looking at you, but what you’re wearing. I’m not saying just pick out the literal worst obnoxious thing you can find at a thrift store, you can be fashionable and trendy at the same time. This is a very good trick to distract people from your most self conscious parts, and tell people that you’re confident with how you look, which is also something that subconsciously makes people feel more positively about you, which is definitely not a bad perk to have! 

5. Jumpsuits are the best fashionable yet comfortable outfit without actually just wearing pajamas for the rest of your life, but nobody said you couldn’t wear one to bed! A jumpsuit is great for reducing height, it’s loose fit helps to avoid all the discomfort that comes with a lot of the tight fitting clothes made for feminine individuals, and despite having been considered a more masculine item in the past has taken on a recent turnaround as a feminine fashion item. However this is a little more ‘up there’ in the fashion realm and isn’t for everyone, but it’s not an item that typically comes to mind, so it’s good to put the option out there.

6. This next one is really only going to help if you’re comfortable with your legs. If you feel like your butt just isn’t getting the attention it deserves and you’re feeling like it might be a little smaller than you’d like, you may actually want to try high waisted bottoms and especially in the summertime, short shorts are actually quite effective and making a butt look a little bigger if you’re comfortable enough to try it. This isn’t typically a strong dysphoria, but any dysphoria is valid and deserves to be addressed.

7. If you have a body shape that makes you uncomfortable, don’t feel bad about layering up! This doesn’t have to mean hiding away, as you can put on a light cardigan or poncho over many things including a two piece outfit or even a dress while still portraying confidence. Scarves can also make a chest look a little more prominent. Remember to allow flow in your choice of clothing, ignore sizing, because we all know how screwed up women’s sizes are and it’s much better to be comfortable in a larger size than to wear a smaller size and be uncomfortable.

8. If you are a little larger, and are uncomfortable and wish to smooth out your shape, you can use high-waisted shorts and skirts to do just that.

9. If you have dysphoria about your face and you have long hair, you can add layers to your hair or add some texture such as curls to cover a little more and create a little bit of a distraction, the same way wearing patterns and accessorizing can help. Coloring your hair or even altering the color a little, like brightening a light colored hair can also have a similar effect.

10. Love yourself and have confidence with everything you wear! In the end it really doesn’t matter what you wear as long as you like it and you are comfortable. You will see yourself more than anyone else so don’t just try to impress everyone else. Any concerns about how you look are valid, but please try not to get too caught up in trying to conform to impossible standards! 

If you have any good tricks or tips please feel free to share! Everyone deserves to feel good and feel positively about themselves. You are by no means obligated to look or dress a certain way. And always try before you buy! Its horrible to get something cute and come home to wear it only to realize it makes you feel dysphoric. And be safe, it’s okay if you need to dress or present a certain way in order to protect yourself. But people’s opinion about how you should present is completely unimportant because the problem lies with them, not you.

If you would like help addressing a specific issue, feel free to send a message or an ask and we will try our best to help you find a solution that works for you. We hope this can help at least a few people to find something that can help them overcome a dysphoria!

thoughts from my Raven Boys reread:

highlights include some rambling analysis of Adam and Ronan’s dynamic in the first book, yelling about how Gansey definitely has social anxiety, gushing about the Henrietta library, and trying to accept the fact that this is probably the best book out of the whole series. WOO. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

  • Blue is impatient and vain along with being sensible and I love her for it because it helps her feel so real to me yknow? she constructs her difference so carefully and owns it and all that but unlike most YA protags she still feels BELIEVABLE in spite of how intentional she is about being “different” because she does it in a way that doesn’t feel contrived to me
  • there may be other issues with the writing in TRC but Maggie got that right good job
  • “I thought you were dead in a ditch” oh honey just wait :^)))))
  • I know we talk about Ronan’s oral fixation like…. all the time….. but. Okay I just really love this fidgety boy and his habit of chewing on those bracelets. Someone please get him a fidget cube or something
  • (jumping ahead to TRK but I loved the detail of Opal chewing on Adam’s watchband, it’s a nice tic for her and Ronan to share and it reminds you that she’s been living in his head for most of his life)
  • “All night. This was going to bother him all night” did you mean the moment I vowed to protect this socially anxious child with my life
  • Persephone is working on a graduate thesis?? She listens to angry music when she’s working on it??? Why didn’t we get to explore that more I have SO MANY questions (does she listen to Halestorm when writing like I do omg I would die)
  • “ARE YOU LISTENING, GLENDOWER? I AM COMING TO FIND YOU!” Gansey….. my nerdy son…… a dweeb…….
  • The gang doing traditional library research!! Digging through courthouse records of land ownership! Making maps!!! 
  • Honestly I’m probably biased as a current library science student but I would read an entire book about the staff at the Henrietta Library dealing with these weird teens and their magic quest.
  • …..yeah i gotta put the rest under a read more this got SO MUCH LONGER than I meant it to be just like every other post I make whoops

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anonymous asked:

can you write more shuake in which goro self-loathes due to what he did to akira and the phantom thieves and also because he believes he doesn't deserve akira's affection at all? but of course akira always proves him wrong :3 thank you, i love your writing!

Well guys, the feels train never stops on this ride to Shuake Land – its time for me to try and make you guys hurt again! 

Okay so this one KINNNNDA may have gone from ‘drabble’ to actual fic since it clocked out at a little under 3k letters, so I’m sorry to anyone looking for a drabble or to anyone who feels cheated because I overwrote this one. I’m bad at this drabble request thing, hahaha. But I mean, like, guys, we gotta keep the Shuake Feels Train going. 


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The Arrangement: Chapter Sixteen

Author’s Note: Thank you everyone for being SO patient! As you probably know, I’ve had two grandparents pass away both within the last few weeks and so haven’t had much time to write. So glad this one is out though! A bit of jealous Kylo in this one so enjoy and feedback is always appreciated :)


Originally posted by mssedated

The last few weeks seemed like a blur to you. It was as if in this short period of time you had finally caught up with everything your relationship with Kylo had been lacking… almost.

After all, as the Commander of the First Order, Kylo had been trained not to get too attached to others. Much to your content, and also by Snoke’s orders, Kylo was making far more of an effort with you now.

“So I’m getting a… bodyguard?”

“It wasn’t my idea,” Kylo told you, clearly irritated, “The Supreme Leader is insisting– watch your footing.” He added as you stumbled slightly on a fallen branch. Kylo had started to move your training outside, deep within the snow- covered forest that, like the precious one, blanketed the much of the outdoor space of the First Order’s new base.

You raised an eyebrow. Snoke appointing you a bodyguard? That seemed odd.

“Fine. Your Father is the one insisting. Snoke is only enforcing– you know how he is with the King, he’ll do anything to placate him because it means ensuring that you stay here with me.”

You scoffed, swinging the training saber towards Kylo, who dodged it easily, “Well I don’t want to!”

Kylo gave you a puzzled look and you quickly added, “I mean I don’t want to have bodyguard– Let alone one sent by my father! Have you ever met a guard from the royal household?” Your heart was starting to race now as the frustration threatened to implode within you.

“Y/N…” Kylo warned, sensing your emotions as he stepped closer to you, “What have I told you about getting distracted during a fight?”

Your training sessions had become like this in the weeks since you had shared your first kiss. There was far more talking during your sparring, more smiling, and laughing. But, as Kylo had quickly discovered, it also meant that you could become so distracted by the conversation that you became an easy target.

You nodded your head, as if that action would also shake away any negative thoughts flowing through you. You let out a deep exhale, as Kylo had advised you to do in these situations.

You refocused yourself as you swung at him. While he dodged, you used the Force to send a large branch hurtling towards the back of his knees. You grinned as he fell to the ground, letting out a slight groan at the surprise of the fall.

“Excellent work,” he said, still lying down as he brushed the hair that had fallen on his face.

“See, I can manage perfectly well without royal protection,” you said proudly as Kylo stood up, sighing to himself as he dropped his weapon. You did the same.

Kylo spoke before you had a chance to, “Look Y/N, all I know is that a guard was meant to stay behind with you after the wedding ceremony but apparently there was some confusion over who was assigned. Your father only just found out about it during a briefing yesterday, and he’s furious. I know it’s not ideal to have someone following us– well, you– around every moment of the day but Snoke doesn’t want to upset your father any more.” Kylo looked at you pointedly, his expression enough to make you accept that neither you, nor him, were in any position to object.

You mulled over the thought before burying your head in your palms, “I don’t leave this Maker-forsaken Base, why in the Galaxy would my father or Snoke think I’m in danger?”

“You’re the daughter of a King who openly sides with the First Order, and now you’re married to its Commander. Those positions alone puts you in enough danger. And you’re right, you hardly leave the Base, but that makes you an easier target.”

“Well I’ve survived this long without a bodyguard on the Base. What possible threats could I be facing?”

Kylo scoffed, “Remind me to take you to the Control Room, we intercept dozens of rogue starships trying to enter our airspace everyday. From small Resistance factions to bounty hunters–”

“Bounty hunters?”

“Y/N, do you know how much some people would pay to have you captured? They could ransom you off, or worse–”

“Alright, alright,” you stopped him again, “I get it.”

Kylo stepped towards you, resting his hands on your shoulders, “If it makes you feel any better, I’m not happy about the whole bodyguard situation either. I know I can protect you myself…” Kylo trailed off, and you sensed that he might have presented the same argument to the Supreme Leader before this, but to no avail, “If not for your own sake, do it for me. Just say you’ll entertain the idea, at least until I can negotiate an alternative for you.” “

“That sounds fair, I suppose,” you mumbled.

“Thank you,” Kylo said quietly before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You couldn’t help but smile. Though such a gesture by Kylo had become more regular over the last few weeks, it would still catch you by surprise.

“We’d better go back inside then, he’ll be here tonight,” Kylo said, sheathing his weapon as he extended out an arm to you.

“Wha– already?” You asked as you looped your arm through his, “What was the point of asking me first then?”

“I wasn’t exactly asking, Princess, I was only telling you,” Kylo corrected you as the last doors opened.

You shrugged, realising he was right, “Alright, let’s just get this over with.”

Once you were inside, Kylo escorted you straight to a large meeting room, where you were now both seated. Hux was also there, standing beside your chair, head buried in his data pad to show you he was uninterested in your conversation with Kylo.

“What if he’s mean?”

“He’s a bodyguard, he can’t exactly be kind to everyone.”

You frowned, “You know what I’m… All my life, the guards my father employed were brutes– they’re ghastly people, horrible to even look at!” You whispered harshly.

Kylo let out a light laugh from under his helmet, “Well in that case, at least I won’t have any competition.”

You raised an eyebrow, nudging him slightly, “Not funny.”

Before Kylo could tease you again, the blast doors began to open. As the man stepped inside, the first thing you noticed was that he was dressed in the familiarly bright colours of your household. In all honesty, a welcome change from the dreary monochromatic theme of the entire First Order. Emblazoned on his front was your royal family crest.

“How inconspicuous,” you whispered to Kylo, whose smirk was hidden by the helmet.

As the man approached you, you felt your heart involuntarily begin to flutter when you realised you recognised him.

“J-Jax?” You asked him, standing up. You felt the smile on your face growing wider as he continued towards you.

“Y/N,” the man said as he reached you, flashing you a grin that matched your own. At the sound of your name, Hux lifted his head out of intrigue. Clearly you two knew each other. The man held out his hand to you and you took it as he swiftly pressed his lips to it, “Still as radiant as ever, Your Highness.”

You enveloped him in a hug, “And look at you! I had no idea you joined the Royal Guard.” Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around your waist as you felt his chest vibrate in laughter, “I was accepted right after you left.”

“And now you’re stationed here?” you said excitedly as you parted from him.

“Couldn’t quite get rid of me, could you?” He winked as you laughed.

“How in the Galaxy did you get my father to agree to it?”

“Ah– I didn’t, at first. His Majesty didn’t exactly take to the idea of you and I running around the First Order’s base together. But your brother talked him round. Said that I was the only Guard who actually knows you,” he said proudly.

You smiled, “That you do. Remind me to send him a proper thank you later this week– Oh it’s so good to see you!” You exclaimed, gripping his arms.

Hux watched on with an amused expression, he hadn’t seen you this happy since– well, he had hardly seen you put on a smile that wasn’t forced in your time here.

Meanwhile, Kylo had been watching the entire exchange play out with a growing scowl on his face. He certainly wasn’t expecting the Royal Guard to be as young as him, and certainly not for you to somehow know him. He removed his helmet with haste before clearing his throat.

“Oh,” you jumped slightly, reminding yourself of where you were as you turned to look behind you. Kylo’s expression was stoic, as your gazes met.

“Jax, this is… my husband,” you started, moving back to stand beside him, “Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order.”

“Commander Ren, it is an honour,” Jax bowed.

“My wife has been dreading your arrival since this morning,” he responded coldly.

“She has, Sir?” Jax looked puzzled as he glanced over to you.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “No, no. Well, I suppose so, but it was before I knew it was you coming! I thought it would be one of those horribly grumpy old men that my father has scattered throughout the Palace. But this… This is fantastic, it’ll be like before I left home!”

“I’m looking forward to it, Y/N.”

“That’s Your Highness to you,” Kylo scolded him.

“With respect, Sir, I’ve called the Princess by her given name my whole life.”

“And how exactly do you know my wife?” He said immediately afterwards, like he had been waiting to ask.

Seeming slightly taken aback, Jax let out a nervous laugh, “Y/N– Her Highness– and I, we’ve been friends for… well, for as long as I can remember, Sir.”

“Odd, she’s never mentioned you.”

Hux snickered in the background as you rolled your eyes.

Behave,” you thought, knowing Kylo would hear you.

“Are you certain you can protect Y/N?”

“I would gladly lay down my life in service of the Princess,” he nodded.

“Oh, there’s no need for that talk,” you said.

“He’s your bodyguard, Y/N, this is entirely appropriate,” Kylo said sternly, though he didn’t avert his gaze from Jax, “On that note, will your blatant feelings for the Princess interfere with your duties?” He sneered.

“Kylo!” You exclaimed.

“I'ts alright, Y/N,” Jax said to you, “I assure you Sir, my friendship with the Princess will not impact her safety, or my ability to protect her. If anything, it will only further ensure her wellbeing.”

“The Supreme Leader hasn’t specified your exact day- to- day duties, but by the King’s command, you will answer directly to Princess Y/N and Commander Ren,” Hux stated, looking between the other two men, whose gazes were both fixed on you.

Kylo huffed, “In that case, we’ll only require your services when I’m not with Y/N, so you’ll have some days and all nights off– I don’t want to be disturbed in our quarters after dinner unless it’s an emergency,” Kylo informed Jax.

He nodded, “Of course, Sir, every couple needs their privacy,” you couldn’t help but hear a hint of amusement in his tone.

Your eyes widened slightly, you may now have started to share the bed with Kylo, but someone would hardly be walking in on anything if they were to disturb you at night.

“Before you commence any work, you’ll be briefed by General Hux here. He might even show you around if you ask nicely,” Kylo said, his tone indifferent.

“Oh, I can do that,” you volunteered, “I’m sure the General has better things to do than act as a tour guide.”

“We have a diplomatic meeting in an hour, darling,” Kylo said, casually entwining his gloved hand through yours.

You looked at him confusedly. Darling? Why was he acting like this?

“There’s nothing in your schedule,” Hux interjected.

Kylo frowned, “Must’ve mixed up the days then.”

“Perfect,” you said, discreetly easing yourself from Kylo’s grip as you clasped your hands together, “I’ll take Jax around the base. See you later this afternoon then?

In all your time knowing him, Kylo was never late for anything. That’s because he committed his entire month’s schedule to memory, down to the minute. But it didn’t take knowing that to see he was lying.

"Something about your little friend seems off, Y/N.” Kylo’s voice was in your head.

“Oh, please.He’s as loyal as the come, trust me.”

“You I trust. But not him.”

“He’s my friend, Kylo. Has been for ages. Maker knows I could use another friend on this Base.”

“Y/N, I think you should be cautious–”

“I know what I’m doing.” You thought bluntly.

With that, Kylo grumbled something aloud. You turned to your new bodyguard, “Shall we go then?”

He nodded happily, oblivious to the exchange that had just occurred between you and Kylo as he began to walk towards the door.

“Y/N,” Kylo called out, just about grabbing your hand as you moved past him.

“Hmm?” You asked as he spun you around and into his arms.

Before you could process what was happening, Kylo’s lips were on yours with a fierceness he had never shown you before. Jax averted his gaze uncomfortably while Hux rolled his eyes at Kylo’s antics.

Growing very aware that you two were in the company of others, you parted from him quickly. Before you could move away, Kylo whispered to you, “Just be careful, Princess.”

You gave him a slight nod, feeling dazed by his bold move. He clearly felt threatened by your friend.

“J-Jax, let’s go,” you said quietly, trying to catch your breath as you walked out through the blast doors.

Once the doors shut again Hux turned to Kylo, “You hid your jealously wonderfully,” he mocked.

“Shut up, Hux,” Kylo growled as he stormed out of the room.

Tag List (Send me a message if you want to be included!)

@lust-for-pan @bluechood @classy-sassy-smart-assey@trashforthefirstorder@basicallybucky@steadyprincesoul@kylocanyounot@smadrat@evelinvargassss @qxeen-vmvndv@sithlordalice@kyrasailer@sithlordceci @the-fastest-mutant-sith @kylorenslips@blue-child-obsession-expert@ineedyourlaughs@whiny–pissbaby @myweirdfangirlstuff @ichooseyouprocrastination @teoneamtu @why-lovely@mewii151@eveillerat @effy-nicholle @gotham-knights52@casjdoesthings@randomgirlnamedcat@maziod10 @nerdygirl1996 @brauni2001 @barnes-toddpartnersinheartbreak@mikeylikesboys @secunda-rising@girlwith100names @hell0obambii @queentiffanyyy @obiwhatkenobi @therealmrifeebenson @what-a-beautiful-mess-i-made @pancake-fucker @onaheroicmission @talmtz @a-fandom-imagine @MP938368 @danaec24 @angela-fangirl101 @followingthecreed @alritejessjazz @all-around-geek @victoriatheanimequeen @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @efeysa @rln108 @hope1this1name1isnt1taken @love-of-less @kylo-ren-trashbag @onaheroicmission

Dear Damian Part 4 (Older Damian Wayne x Reader)

Schninner: Part four of pain and feels- Er! I mean Dear Damian! *Nervous laughter* Heh, definitely no angst here! Anyways guys, thank you all for the wonderful comments and feedback for other parts of Dear Damian, it has truly made me a happy Squirtle! :D

Tagging @the-singing-canary to share the angst >:) as well as @isabellegunawan and @maruthor

Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7

(Reader is a Girl)

Warnings: Swearing and oh so much of the angst

Word count:  1001

Mater List

You were 16 years old, standing out in the Wayne mansion’s garden looking up into the heavily polluted sky. Barely any stars were visible thanks to the light pollution, which caused your lips to form a slight frown. That was the only thing that you missed about your home, the stars.

You felt a pair of strong warm arms wrap around your waist, you let out a small gasp of surprise, then turned your head slightly to see your boyfriend, Damian Wayne.

“Oh, Dami! It’s you.” You said relieved.

“Of course it is beloved, who else would it be?” He inquired, before kissing you on top of your head.

“I don’t know, you just startled me.” You said with a sigh, your cheeks turning bright pick as he kissed you. You two had been dating for quite some time now, but you still weren’t used to his affections, not that they weren’t appreciated! They just surprised you.

“What are you doing out here at this hour?” He asked, his voice muffled by your hair.

You looked back up at the sky and sighed once more, “Just looking at the stars.”

Damian tilted his head upwards and squinted, “What stars?”

“Exactly,” You answered wistfully.

There was a long pause before Damian spoke again, “[F/N], are you… Unhappy here?”

Your eyes widened in shock at his words, and turned around in his arms to face him. The look on his face made your heart drop, his eyes were full of somber and fear. “If you are, you don’t have to stay here. I don’t want you to leave, but I don’t want to be the reason why you so miserable, and- “

You placed your hands gently on either side of his face, gently rubbing his check with one of your thumbs. He stopped talking immediately, and looked into your eyes. You gave him a gentle and warm smile,

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m happy as long as you’re here with me, and don’t ever forget that.”

He smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat, and leaned into your touch.

“I just don’t want you to be in pain, and don’t want to be the reason why.”

You leaned in and softly kissed him, gently breaking the kiss, but remaining mere centimeters away from his face.

“Damian Wayne, you could never hurt me, and I could never hurt you.”

You sat numbly on your bed, staring at your bloodied hands. It wasn’t your blood, no, it was something much worse, it was his blood, it was Damian’s blood.  

“He’s not dead.” You silently reminded yourself.

“No, not dead, but hurt.”

He had been stabbed, by none other than his horrible excuse of an Ex-girlfriend, you. You stabbed him, cursed him, said all of those nasty things, to save him.

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and onto your clenched fists. Your mind kept going back to the look of anguish on his face as the blade pierced his flesh and bone. You remembered his beautiful blue eyes, full of heartbreak as you told him you hated him. You recalled how he never fought back, not even when you released a full blown assault on him, just because the damn idiot still loved you!

“It was the only way.” You repeated to yourself over and over again, trying to convince yourself that that was the case.

But no matter how many times you tried to justify your actions, no matter how many times you told yourself that it was for the best, you still felt as if someone had ripped your heart out. Because not matter how many times you told yourself these things, you had still hurt the man you love, and you could never forgive yourself for that.

Months passed, months in which you had numbly went through, never fully present. It was always the same routine, your called into your father’s throne room, you are given a target, you go off and kill target, you come back, then it repeats. Today was no exception, you were called into your father’s throne room, undoubtedly for your next target. But when you got there, you noticed right away that something was wrong.

A large male figure with a burlap sack covering his face, was bound and kneeling in front of her father’s throne with a few of her father’s lackey’s guarding him to make sure he didn’t do anything. You walked over to your father, who had a shit eating grin on his face, making your skin crawl. You bowed to him.

“Father, you summoned me?”

“Ah yes! [F/N]! So wonderful for you to join us for our celebration!” Your father said, excitedly clapping his hand together.

You raised an eyebrow, “A celebration of what father?”

His eyes shone with twisted amusement, “It’s a party for our guest of honor here!” He sang out, pointing to the man that was bound. “We are celebrating his life and all of its glorious failures!”

You gave your father a confused and slightly unimpressed look.

He feigned shock, “Why my dear? Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

He signaled for the guard to remove the bag over the male’s face. You gasped, as you gazed into the eyes of your lover. His eye was swollen and bruised, and he had cuts all over his face. You head shot back to your father, who was maniacally smiling down at you.

“Dearest [F/N], today is the day we celebrate the death of Damian Wayne.”

crave you

summary: highschool au//popular boy jefferson is pining over studious alex super hard and alex doesn’t notice him (yet) (mention of past jeffmads)

words: 1,140

warnings: none! super fluffy

this is totally incomplete but we can change that ;-)

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Spoon theory

me and isi @isisisak like to yell at each other abt who is big and lil spoon in evak and we have decided that both do both, #equalspoons, here is just some words about it

situations in which isak is the big spoon:

-even still sometimes has a habit of getting up in the middle of the night, and isak doesnt like waking up to an empty bed with no idea where even has disappeared off to. its not that isak doesnt trust even, because he really really does, he’d just rather not wake up to an empty bed ever. if he gets to be the big spoon he can pull even closer against him and stop him going anywhere. at this point in their relationship he can always tell when even’s gonna have one of those nights where he’s slightly more restless than usual, and they both know it calms him and helps him sleep better if isak is curled around his back, one arm around his waist and his face pressed in the back of even’s neck (its not always 100% effective. isak is a heavy sleeper and sometimes even wriggles out early in the morning. in these situations when isak wakes up, he ends up having to be the big spoon while standing up, while even makes them breakfast. this usually earns him the affectionate nickname of koala or monkey, depending on how even’s feeling)

-sometimes, even has really bad days when he doesn’t have energy for a n y t h i n g. all he can do is snuggle under the blankets and try and shut his brain up. isak knows he can’t really do anything in this situation, its just the horrible part of even’s illness that comes out sometimes, but they also both know that it feels at least a little bit like something if isak gets to be the big spoon, so he can hold even close, keep him safe and warm and held, so that even knows he isn’t alone because he can feel isak around him, and the rational part of his brain, althhough it can get buried pretty deep under the heaviness of depression, knows that isak loves him so much and is always always going to be here for him

-sometimes even has days he wouldn’t call bad bc he knows with his sickness what really bad days are. but he has had a confrontation with someone, his parents fought (even tho even wouldn’t admit this bothered him to the extent it does), a teacher was unfair or any little thing that adds to that day being draining or annoying. he sometimes pulls isak’s arm around him then and sometimes just falls asleep on his side and when he wakes up there is a warm warm boy wrapped around him (sometimes arms aren’t enough and there’s also a leg around him, its like a cage but he warm kind where you don’t want to leave and if you have to pee well you better hold it, bc that soft boy sleeps like a rock once he managed to fall asleep)

situations in which even is the big spoon:

-isak has his fair share of sleepless nights too, he doesn’t like to admit it bothers him this much but when he has a test coming up that he isn’t prepared enough for (and who’s fault is that, even?) he won’t be able to sleep much the night before. being the little spoon in this situation won’t always help him sleep, but it will help him relax to feel even pressing soft kisses into his hair, whispering quiet words of encouragement and love in his ear because “you’re going to do incredible baby, i know it” and “i love you so so much and i’d love you even if you got a 1″

-sometimes, to his own annoyance, isak gets affected by comments on his sexuality. it pretty much doesn’t happen any more, and isak is so so proud of being gay now, and even prouder that he has such a wonderful boyfriend by his side always (even if not always in a physical sense) one day, they meet jonas’ old friend elias in the street, and isak is so happy to be able to say loudly, “yes, elias, i am gay. is there a problem?” while holding his boyfriends hand and makingg no attempt to be subtle. but later that night it all comes out. even asks isak what exactly was that guys deal, and isak explains (just a few comments here and there, nothing that he should be getting worked up about) except he does get worked up, and even feels a bit useless to be honest, he wants to feel like he can protect isak somehow, so he wraps isak up in his arms, safe and sound, and draws little patterns onto isaks stomach as he waits for his breathing to steady and his eyes to close.

-when Isak is drunk he is always very cuddly and somehow suddenly looks about 20cm smaller (which even would never say out loud, his life means something to him, thank you very much) and also very needy for affection. so before drunk iiak goes to sleep he buries his face in even’s chest and demands that even is stroking his hair (which would happen anyway bc drunk isak purrs like a little kitten when he does that but hes ‘just following orders here’) and when he fell asleep he’ll turn around and end up being the little spoon.

and there you have it

some days (or rather nights but also NAPS are a thing so) its a conscious decision and some it’s an instinctive thing.

if you need clarity on other situations or scenarios please write one of us

Spoon Scientists out ✌

The Dynamic between Kylo & Rey and where it can go: A parallel analysis with the Shatter Me trilogy

This meta is a collaboration between my friend @sillylovesongs17 and me. We decided to do this after I told her to read the books because I didn’t want to scream alone about this series. We think this is a wonderful example of what a relationship between Kylo and Rey should look like in the next movies and we hope you have fun reading this meta.

WARNING: There will be spoilers about Shatter Me and Star Wars.

Shatter Me is a book series written by Tahereh Mafi. Followed by Unravel Me and Ignite Me, Shatter Me tells the story of Juliette Ferrars, a girl that can kill with a single touch. After being locked up for 264 days, she gains a cellmate, a boy she thought she would never see again as the Reestablishment (the new government in power) has plans for her, Juliette must make a choice: be a weapon or be a warrior.

In this meta we will discuss the possibilities for Kylo and Rey’s relationship and where they might end up at the end of the sequel trilogy comparing them to the very similar relationship of Juliette and Warner in the Shatter Me trilogy.

We are aware that these stories are not the same but both dynamics are similar, sharing a lot of common traits so we’ll only analyze these characters and their dynamic only.

In the surface, Rey and Juliette share little in common. Rey starts of as a very capable scavenger, she can hold her own against enemies because she had a lot of time to learn how to defend herself in Jakku. In contrast, Juliette starts as a fragile girl, she’s locked in a cell for quite some time because of her lethal abilities and is on the verge of losing her mind.

But they do share similarities. Both girls were born with powerful gifts: Rey is force sensitive and Juliette has a lethal touch. She was abandoned by her parents because of her abilities and if the leaks about Ep. VIII are correct Rey’s parents did the same to her making both wish for belonging.

Rey and Juliette are destined for great things and one more thing they share is their uncommon relationship with the antagonist.

Kylo Ren and Warner share very similar traits, both in personality and their actions. Aaron Warner is the leader of Sector 45, viewed as a cruel sociopath by his soldiers and enemies he hides behind this mask not allowing anyone to see the real him until he meets Juliette.

With Kylo we have the same pattern, his descent into darkness is only stopped when he meets Rey. He senses that she’s special and their connection only grows after their first interaction.

Both Kylo and Warner are trying to please their leaders who abused them mentally and, in Warner’s case, also physically. In Star Wars, the Leader is Snoke, someone that according to the book “Aftermath: Empire’s End” has been watching and manipulating Kylo since before he was even born.

In Shatter Me, the Leader is Anderson, Warner’s father who treats him like shit. He taught Warner to be merciless and cruel hoping that would destroy the gentle nature of his son.

Warner and Kylo are both murderers, they don’t deny it but find no pleasure in harming someone. They are passionate and intense characters with a great sense of style and beautiful hair (sorry).

The point is, Shatter Me is a trilogy, divided exactly like the Star Wars movies. So, we will show how their dynamics are similar and with luck Mafi’s books will illuminate us, the reylos.

                 Shatter Me and The Force Awakens: 

                            Presenting the Characters

The book starts with Juliette in prison after years of passing through countless reformatories and mental institutions, her last home is now a solitary cell where she’s been locked for 264 days without no one to talk to but herself.

The only thing that keeps her from losing her mind entirely is the bird she dreams about it:

“Instead, I ignore the desperation sticking my fingers together and watch for the bird I’ve only seen in my dreams.”


“I’ve dreamt about the same bird flying through the same sky for exactly 10 years. White with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head.

It’s the only dream I have that gives me peace.” – Shatter Me. Chapter 6. Pg. 21.

Everything changes when a boy joins her. Adam is someone from her past but he appears to no longer remember her. They talk sometimes but never touch until she discovers that Adam works for the Reestablishment and he was only there to evaluate her.

She’s brought to the headquarters of Sector 45 and is immediately interrogated by Warner. His looks and youth weren’t what she was expecting it:

“I’m immediately struck by his youth. He can’t be much older than me.

It’s obvious he’s in charge of something, though I have no idea what. His skin is flawless, unblemished, his jawline sharp and strong. His eyes are

the palest shade of emerald I’ve ever seen.

He’s beautiful.” – Shatter Me. Chapter 8. Pg. 25.

This is a great parallel with Rey and Kylo’s first meeting. When Kylo removes his mask, Rey is expecting a disfigured almost robotic person and his looks caught her off guard:

“She just stared at him in silence.
In itself the narrow face that looked back at her was not remarkable. It was almost sensitive. If not for the intensity of his gaze, Ren could have passed for someone she might have met on the dusty streets of Niima Outpost. But there was—that gaze. That, and what lay simmering behind it.” - TFA Novelization, Chapter 14.

“That happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.

Kylo Ren stops, considers her… then reaches up, unlatches

and REMOVES HIS MASK. Rey reacts, stunned. It takes a moment

before she regains her own mask of defiance.” – TFA Script.

The majority of the book is Warner trying to unlock Juliette’s power while she falls in love for Adam who has feelings for her. She discovers that he can, somehow, touch her and they start a relationship without Warner knowing about it. He tries to test her powers and pushes her to her limits using not so good ways to do it but it works with Juliette discovering her super force.

On TFA we see Kylo trying to get inside Rey’s mind. This works like a test, and she discovers she is Force Sensitive. Then Kylo Ren and Rey also create a bond (a deep connection, a link…). For Warner and Juliette this came with him touching her without being killed.

Juliette escapes with Adam leaving Warner in all his anger and confusion. Adam is Juliette’s love interest throughout the first book and since Rey doesn’t have a love interest in TFA there isn’t much to compare. Finn, who is Rey’s companion in the movie is more like Kenji Kishimoto, Julliette’s best friend.

While Kylo’s feelings for Rey aren’t explicitly stated, Warner’s feelings towards Juliette are very clear throughout the first book and even Adam notices that he treats her differently but all she feels for him is hatred and disgust:

“I hate you.”

“So much passion.” He laughs again. He looks so calm, so genuinely amused. He stares at me with eyes softer than I ever expected them to be.

I turn away.” - Shatter Me. Chapter 14.

Juliette and Rey are girls that never had someone who cared for them so the thought of losing Adam and Finn is horrible to them. Warner and Kylo both commit an act of violence against them making their hatred only to solidify. The word “Monster” is used by them to describe Kylo and Warner:

“You’re a monster.” My voice is too even, my body filled with a sudden rage. “Why don’t you just kill me?” - Shatter Me, Chapter 9.

“Ren held his lightsaber, poised to strike. “I could kill you right now. But there is another way.” Breathing hard, Rey looked up in disgust at the man looming above her. “You’re a monster.” – TFA Novelization.

Even with their feelings made clear both men still want these powerful women by their side:

“You and I, Juliette—together? We could be unstoppable.”

I will not look at him though I feel his gaze touching every inch of my body. “No, thank you.”

We’re in the elevator. The world is whooshing past us and the walls of glass make us a spectacle to every person on every floor. There are no secrets in this building.

He touches my elbow and I pull away. “You might reconsider,” he says softly. - Shatter Me. Chapter 13.

“No. You need a teacher.” He was beseeching and insistent all at once. “I can show you the ways of the Force.” – TFA Novelization.

At the end, they both fight. Who wins? Yes, the girls. Rey uses the Force and kicks Kylo’s ass. Juliette uses the attraction that Warner feels for her and shoots him. Then both women runaway with their friends and find their resistance. The men are hurt, but still alive.

                     Unravel Me and The Last Jedi: 

                          Finding Common Ground

Since The Last Jedi isn’t out yet we will analyze the events of Unravel Me and compare to what may happen in TLJ based in what we know so far.

After scaping from Warner, Juliette and Adam are brought to the resistance by Kenji, their friend. There she meets Castle, a mentor for her, that wants her to train and learn more about her abilities but it’s hard for her. She can’t concentrate in her training and everything seems out of place. As her relationship with Adam starts to crumble, her dreams come back and she doesn’t understand:

“The dreams are back.

They’d left me for a while, shortly after I’d been freshly imprisoned on base with Warner. I thought I’d lost the bird, the white bird, the bird with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head.

(…) It was my one piece of hope in the bitter darkness of the asylum, just until I met its twin tattooed on Adam’s chest.

(..) I thought it was a signal, a message telling me I was finally safe. That I’d flown away and finally found peace, sanctuary.

I didn’t expect to see the bird again.


I’ve had the same dream every night for the past week, and all 7 mornings I’ve woken up shaking, shuddering into the earthy, icy air, struggling to steady the bleating in my chest.

Struggling to understand what this means.” – Unravel Me. Chapter 4. Pg. 28.

The belonging she thought she had found with Adam and Castle’s resistance isn’t real, she still feels incomplete like something is missing.

The same can be said that this might happen with Rey. After her forceback, Maz tells her that the belonging she seeks it’s not behind, in the past, but ahead in her future. Rey thinks it’s about Luke and becoming a Jedi but she might find out that the belonging she wants rests with another person.

Rian Johnson compared TLJ to Letter Never Sent regarding how the story shifts in the middle surprising the audience. We know that Rey and Kylo don’t have the basic hero/villain dynamic and this could be one of the surprising elements. Showcasing their bond and the connection they feel to each other but for this to happen they need to spend time together.

In Unravel Me, Juliette’s feelings about Warner starts to change when she sees him commit an act of kindness:

“And I wish I’d never seen it.

Because something inside of my heart is ripping apart and it feels like fear, it tastes like panic and anxiety and desperation and I don’t know how to understand the image in front of me. I don’t want to see Warner like this. I don’t want to think of him as anything other than a monster.” – Unravel me. Chapter 20. Pg. 101.

Her doubts about him only increases when she meets him again, this time with his father Anderson, the Leader of the Reestablishment:

“And I see the difference in him now. I see what’s changed.

He’s making no effort to hide his emotions from me.” – Unravel Me. Chapter 35. Pg. 154.

Anderson knows about his son’s feelings towards Juliette and plans to kill her in front of him to teach him a lesson:

“The mistake”, he says, almost announcing it now, “that he always makes, time and time again – allowing his emotions to get in the way of his duty – it’s pathetic”, he says, spitting in Warner’s direction. “Which is why as much as I’d like to let you live, my dear, I’m afraid you’re too much of a distraction in his life. I cannot allow him to protect a person who has attempted to kill him” – Unravel Me. Chapter 35. Pg. 157.

Just as we suspected that this was what Snoke wanted to do with Rey, to kill her in front of Kylo because he felt compassion for her:

“Kylo Ren. It appears that a reminder is in order. So, I will show you the dark side. Bring the girl to me.” – TFA Novelization.

Juliette wins over Anderson and Warner is taken as hostage by their resistance. Once there, Castle states that Juliette must interrogate Warner because he’ll only talk to her.

They spent time together and the connection she feels with Warner is stronger than everything she has ever felt:

“Because there’s something about him – there’s always been something about him that’s intrigued me and I don’t understand it. I wish I could ignore it but I can’t.” – Unravel Me. Chapter 50. Pg. 203.

“But I know that I don’t hate you anymore. I’ve tried,” I say, “I’ve tried so hard. Because you’ve done so many terrible, terrible things. To innocent people. To me. But I know too much about you now. I’ve seen too much. You’re too human.” – Unravel Me. Chapter 50. Pg. 207.

They start a strange relationship, Warner thinks he knows her, knows what she feels and she is confused about Warner, not wanting to believe that he can be more than a monster. She likes to spend time with him and she hates herself for that.

She’s the only person to who Warner is kind. He sees her as his equal and explains why he wanted her by his side:

“He looks at me. Really, really looks at me.

“You’re going to go on to do incredible things,” he says. I’ve always known that. I think I just wanted to be a part of it.” – Unravel Me. Chapter 52. Pg. 218.

When Warner discovers that he has abilities, Castle offers him a place there, in their resistance but Warner refuses. That’s not who he is, he can’t change for a matter of days and forget everything he’s done. He knows nothing is that easy because he can sense other people’s feelings, he can feel the hate they have for him and that’s why he can’t stay:

“Feel what?” I whisper.

“What people think of me.”


“Their feelings – their energy – it’s – I don’t know what it is,” he says, frustrated, stumbling backward, shaking his head. “I’ve always been able to tell. I know how everyone hates me. I know how little my father cares for me. I know the agony of my mother’s heart. I know that you’re not like everyone else.” His voice catches. “I know you’re telling the truth when you say you don’t hate me. That you want to and you can’t. Because there’s no ill will in your heart, not toward me, and if there was I would know.” – Unravel Me. Chapter 54. Pg. 227.

Their feelings for one another are so strong that they almost have sex. Warner wants Juliette to go with him, they fight and he escapes alone.

Now back to TLJ, we know that Kylo and Rey will spend some time together on Ahch-To. According to some leaks, Kylo will go after Rey maybe finding her by their “mysterious connection”. He will be stuck on the island with Rey and Luke. Their relationship will evolve (without the “almost have sex” thing, of course), and they will get out of Ahch-To, so who knows?

We only know for certain that Kylo and Rey need to spend time together, their understanding of one another in TLJ is crucial to their future.

Another thing that we will have to wait and see is the answer about Rey’s family. Mafi’s trilogy could give us a way. Juliette was abandoned by her family and we don’t meet them. She is no one, her parents aren’t important to the story only Juliette and the discovery of her abilities are.  It’s a good contrast to Warner’s background, he is like royalty, son of the Reestablishment’s Supreme Leader.

A broken young man that meets a strange powerful girl with who he shares a connection. Sounds like something we know?

At the end of book two, everything goes to shit. Their resistance seems to be over and Juliette and Warner seems to be the only survivors making their mission to destroy Anderson.

Based on leaks, it seems that Luke and Rey get off the island and go their separate ways. Luke goes after Snoke while Rey goes after Kylo. If their connection is truly explained and deepened in this movie maybe Rey asks his help to defeat Snoke (we can only hope).

         Ignite Me and Episode IX: A forged Alliance?

This segment is basically our hopes and dreams for Rey and Kylo’s relationship since we have no clue to what will happen in Episode IX.

Ignite me sums up everything that me and Lu want for reylo. Obviously, we don’t know anything about the last movie but we want to show you what happens in the last book of the Shatter Me trilogy. Oh, and dream a little.

Juliette is now a strong woman who wants to make things better for the people. She decides to kill Anderson and stop the Reestablishment. Warner doesn’t change so much, he still cold, quiet, with a beautiful hair and only cares about Juliette, the love of his life.

Juliette and Warner spend the whole book together. He’s now the only one she can trust and their bond only grows as the trust is built between them. Warner believes in her and see her as an equal something that Juliette never had before:

“I like the way I feel about myself when I’m with him,” I say quietly. “Warner thinks I’m strong and smart and capable and he actually values my opinion. He makes me feel like his equal – like I can accomplish just as much as he can, and more. And if I do something incredible, he’s not even surprised. He expects it. He doesn’t treat me like I’m some fragile little girl who needs to be protected all the time.” – Ignite Me. Chapter 25. Pg. 105.

In return, Juliette sees the real Warner, someone he tried to hide for so long that he almost lost sight of himself:

“You allow the world to think you’re a heartless murderer,” I tell him. “And you’re not.” – Ignite Me. Chapter 4.

He tells everything to Juliette about his sick mother, why he freed her in the beginning, about the men he killed and everything he did for her. The girl now understands that he is a soldier and not a monster. Juliette finally understands him completely and she accepts who he is, the good and the bad parts of him:

“I’m not trying to fix you; I don’t think you need to be fixed. I’m not trying to turn you into someone else. I only want you to be who you really are. Because I think I know the real you. I think I’ve seen him.” – Ignite Me. Chapter 29. Pg. 120.

If Kylo and Rey spent so much time together as did Warner and Juliette this would be the kind of development that we could see happening between them. They aren’t black and white characters, both Rey and Kylo have darkness in them and the acceptance of each other’s darkness (and light) is crucial to bring balance to them and The Force.

Juliette finally understands what her dreams meant and (shocker) this is the belonging she looked for:

A white bird with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head.
A fair-skinned boy with gold hair, the leader of Sector 45.
It was always him. All along.” – Ignite Me. Chapter 31. Pg. 124.

Juliette only acknowledges that her feelings for him are indeed romantic in the last chapters of the book. That is something that we would like if it happened to Rey and Kylo at the end of the movie.

“What – ‘’ Warner is blinking fast. His voice is fragile, uneven. “What are you saying?”

“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you exactly as you are.” – Ignite Me. Chapter 55. Pg. 200.

Also in this book, Warner loses his mother and Juliette is the only one there to comfort him. The only thing we know about Episode IX is that Leia is not there but this will certainly affect Kylo’s storyline.

“I’ve never, ever seen him look like a child before. Never, not once, not in all the time I’ve known him. But right now, he looks just like a little boy. Scared. Vulnerable. All alone.


“His eyes are red-rimmed and a startling, striking shade of green, shining with barely restrained emotion. His face is the picture of so much pain.

I almost can’t breathe.” – Ignite Me. Chapter 50. Pg. 189.

Now our favorite part is obviously Juliette and Warner working together. They make an alliance and built their own resistance gathering the survivors of the last battle along with Juliette’s friends to fight against the Reestablishment.

I mean, don’t we all want to see Kylo and Rey kicking Snoke’s ass (or Hux, sorry I’m not sorry at all), using the force bond and being amazing together?

This was basically it. We wanted to show how the writer wrote this very similar dynamic respecting the characters and their development making them a couple you want to root for. We expect reylo to be subtler than a YA book since their audience is PG but if TLJ follows just a bit of this same path we don’t need to be worried about Episode IX at all.

“I won’t allow it.” Hux says, as if he has any authority on the issue. It makes Kylo scoff in response, his anger bubbling to the surface the longer Hux speaks. He wishes he had his helmet, something to keep the General from seeing his visual displeasure at the other’s words. But his helmet is gone; one of the many losses from Starkiller he would rather forget.

Unfortunately, the failure Hux and him share binds them together, forces them to work side by side longer and try to save the First Order from drowning in Its own embarrassment.

A weapon fired once; a regime dismantled by a handful of rebels.

Hux has become especially intolerable, hyper focusing his energy on proving himself in the aftermath, giving Kylo little leeway to do as he wishes. Yet Hux has no control over Kylo, not really, but the Knight cannot simply ignore him, not when the Supreme Leader himself has chastised Kylo for his inability to see beyond his own selfish desires. No, he is forced to work with Hux, as amicably as possible, a feat Kylo is finding more and more impossible as the weeks go by.

It feels like Hux is actively trying to sabotage him, throwing a wrench in every plan and move of Kylo’s. It’s a jarring reversal of roles; Hux refusing to bend and Kylo attempting to reason.

“You cannot stop me. I will go, whether you give me clearance or not.” Kylo replies, trying to keep his tone from becoming petulant; a childish whine.

“We cannot spare troops at this moment for you to explore some abandoned moon. In case you forgot, our numbers are suffering from our losses on Starkiller.” Hux spits out the word Starkiller, and Kylo can feel Hux’s disgust toward the word. Kylo can at least understand that, at hating something that you once loved. It’s how he feels when he recalls memories of Ben’s, how they leave a sour taste in his mouth when once the memories were sweet.

They shouldn’t be arguing like this, not on the bridge. It make the crew tense, and Hux used to actively move their transgressions to conference rooms or the General’s office just to save moral. But that was Hux before Starkiller, this is Hux now.

Now, Kylo is expected to do this, to hold himself to a higher standard on his own. Hux no longer wastes energy trying to reason with Kylo, subdue him. It leaves Kylo to policing his own emotions and reactions, which he has never done well. He should be glad, happy even, that Hux no longer wastes time treating him like a kriffing child. Yet all he can muster is confusion and annoyance, off balance from the change in their interactions. He had not realized how much Hux was holding back Kylo’s inner monsters until they were allowed to run free.

“There is power there: I can feel it. If you will not approve than I will go to the Supreme Leader. I cannot expect someone like you to understand the force.”

“I have already spoken to him. He agrees it is a foolish waste of resources.” Hux replies in his cold, clinical tone. But Kylo can feel the smugness, see the slight upturn of his lips at besting the Knight, making him look the fool. It sends a fresh wave of anger through him, his fists curling and uncurling at his sides.

He longs to ignite his saber, to cut the grin off of the General’s face. How dare he think he is above Kylo, as if Kylo is some lowly officer with no real power. As if he doesn’t have a fearful control of the force.

Kylo steps forward, looms in the Generals space; the height difference is slight, but Kylo is larger, massive compared to Hux’s small frame. He uses it to his advantage as he crowds near him; intimidating by sheer size alone.

Hux, impressively, does not flinch. He has the gall to look bored, his expression hard as he keeps eye contact with the Knight. Even a quick surface read of Hux’s mind shows the General knows Kylo won’t hurt him; cannot do it. Hux knows that Snoke has forbid it, though Hux has never explicitly heard the Supreme leader say it. He just knows in his core that if Kylo could hurt him he would have already, probably on their very first meeting.

Kylo isn’t sure what angers him more, Hux’s presumptuousness or the fact that he is right. He isn’t allowed to harm Hux, as much as every fiber of his being wants too, yearns too.

“You think,” Kylo starts to say, voice low with warning. Hux does not move. “That you are safe from me. That the Supreme Leader will always agree to put your safety above my desires. You are wrong. You are replaceable, nothing but one of many officers on this ship. You are nothing, nothing but the Bastard son of-”

Kylo doesn’t get to finish as Hux slaps him suddenly, and with full force. The leather of Hux’s glove makes it sting even more, and briefly Kylo is thankful it is not on the side with his scar.

He’s stunned. To stunned to respond. No one has ever dared to lay a hand on him before. In all his battles and training no one has ever slapped him, and he is so shocked he can feel tears pin prick his eyes from the burn of it. Hux stands there, shaking with anger instead of fear after daring to lay a hand on Snoke’s apprentice.

The bridge is deathly silent with the weight of what happened. Three officers stand from their seats and point their blasters at Kylo, even though Hux is the one who attacked him. A quick scan of their minds show they are afraid Kylo will retaliate; will harm Hux for his insubordination. And Kylo has every right to punish Hux, to choke him where he  stands for daring to humiliate him in front of the crew. Yet everyone in the room is on Hux’s side, ready to shoot Kylo down should he dare make a move.

Kylo stands there looking bewildered, and the tension in the atmosphere is so palpable he threatens to choke on it. He has verbally sparred with Hux many times over the years, said horrible degrading things to the General. Why now did he choose to get so offended as to risk his life to punish Kylo? The Knight barely has to graze Hux’s surface thoughts to see the word ‘bastard’ shining at the forefront, consuming Hux with rage. Kylo had never said it before now, unknowing of the effect it would have on the man.

He looks around the room, at the officers scared for their lives as well as Hux’s, to the man himself staring daggers at Kylo.

He should punish Hux, no one in this room can truly stop him. Kylo is far too powerful both physically and mystically. Even the Supreme Leader would forgive him, for Hux truly deserves retribution for his slight.

He went too far, he knows this now. What little civility they had is gone, and any feelings of co-commandership Hux felt is replaced with pure hatred for Kylo. Kylo didn’t realize they had anything left to lose until now; he can feel the rage and pure animosity rolling off of Hux.

Kylo turns, marching off the bridge and away from the scene, leaving Hux and his officers to deal with the aftermath. Surely they are more shocked at Kylo’s non-reaction than anything else.

It takes a week after the incident for Kylo to finally address it. Hux has been treating him colder; ignoring him and answering in short, to-the-point sentences. Kylo didn’t think it was possible for Hux to be even more dismissive and cold to him, yet the General is always full of surprises.

More shocking is how Kylo himself feels about the change.

He misses his interactions with Hux, as limited as they were. He misses how before Starkiller, the General would stop Kylo’s tantrums, would calm him simply by being. How Hux could spar verbally with him, often winning with his cunning and leaving Kylo frustrated at losing. But as much as he misses that, after the ‘incident’ things have only gotten worse. Hux has become almost droid like in his conversations with Kylo, a machine who answers his inquiry, and nothing more.

Its maddening, especially as Hux occupies most of his human interactions on the Finalizer. He has no one now, nor does he want anyone else.

Finally reaching his breaking point, he corners Hux in his office, somewhere the General can not easily escape him.

“We have something to discuss.” He says simply, standing in front of Hux’s desk; neat and orderly like the man himself.

Hux doesn’t look up from his data pad. “And what is that, Ren?” It’s cold, impersonal. Kylo can feel the resentment rolling off of Hux, feel his surprise at how Kylo has still not retaliated after what he did barely a week ago.

“I’ve…come to apologize.” It’s hard to say; admit. He hasn’t apologized since leaving Ben behind. So sure in his purpose and actions, uncaring who his rage is aimed at or hurts.

Hux actually looks up from his data pad at that, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “For what, may I ask?”

Kylo can feel that Hux knows what, but refuses to say. Hux is just as shocked as Kylo is at the declaration; neither of them sure what the next step is.

“For what I said, on the bridge. It was….uncalled for; untrue. I went to far. I…I’m sorry.” He had thought he would feel shame at admitting being wrong, but instead he feels…relief, as if a weight has been lifted. Hux continues to stare, hard eyes judgmental as they take in Kylo’s words. Finally he stands, comes to be in front of Kylo. It is similar to how they were on the Bridge the day of the incident, but the energy is different.

Hux’s eyes search him, as if looking for a hidden deception. “Do you mean it? Or is this some game of yours?”

“I’m telling the truth. I swear it.”

Hux’s shoulders relax, the tension leaving his body. A quick read of his mind finds him accepting of the apology, although still shocked by it.

“I can’t change what I said,” Kylo continues, emboldened by the positive response. “But I can prevent it from happening again.  Perhaps we can meet at my quarters for dinner, discuss how to make this co-commandership work?”

Hux gives a curt nod, but lets slip a soft smile. “Of course. I will see you after my shift.” The General returns to his desk, to his work. To anyone else it would have looked like Hux was indifferent to the entire situation, but Kylo can see the small shift in behavior. The casual way he is sitting, the thrum of energy surrounding him. Kylo smiles, dismissing himself from Hux’s office. He feels this is the start of something new between them, something more than just begrudging acceptance. He isn’t sure what, but he is excited, looking forward to a new chapter between them that isn’t just heated rivalry.

If his steps are a little lighter, his face less severe as he walks down the halls, the troopers dare not say anything about it.


Hi guys! So, its been over a year and, well, yeah. but I hope some of you are still into this fic? I’ve gotten a couple asks about it that I’ve avoided answering cos I didn’t want to make any false promises, BUT here is a short part and I hope you enjoy! thanks for being patient and for the messages and for just being amazing really. <3

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Unlocking Secrets Part 10

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Captain’s Vigilante (6/?)

Word Count: 4800ish 

Warnings: Wordiness is a curse. We get to see progress yay. I’m all up for a slow burn. Thank you for reading.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You are a genius vigilante, misunderstood, feared and on top of the Avengers watch list. They see you as a major threat and has to be stopped. They’ve no idea you only have the best of intention but just has no idea how to express it a better way. And you like the reputation they gave you. It’s what you’re used to so you play with it. After yet another visit to the Avengers tower and being caught and then being shot. Things take a turn for you both when Steve seemed to break those walls and get to know the real you.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11


Originally posted by s-a-l-t-w-a-t-e-r-k-i-d

Steve woke up to the sound of soft snores and quiet knocking. He instinctively glanced to [Y/N] to find her sleeping soundly in a bundle of blankets, making him smile at her. He was worried for her wellbeing a few hours ago but looking at her now, with her hair in a mess and limbs tangled with the sheets. 

His attention was taken back to the knocking in the distance. Steve immediately checked for weapons around the room and all he saw was multiple gadgets he absolutely had no idea how to use. A gun was the only thing he knew how to use but he decided on not taking it. 

He silently strode towards the door, a little bit confused by the miscellaneous locks on the door accompanied with dim red lights. It resembled what a bomb squad would deactivate and that made him nervous and the patient knocking was pressuring him too. The corner of his eye caught the keys he left by the door and quickly took it. He inserted the key with shaky hands in the lock and as he turned, every blinking light turned off and he released a sigh in relief. He should’ve known all those things were just for show like it’s maker. He thought, chuckling to himself. 

He hid behind the door as he slowly opened it, going into a fighting stance which quickly melted away when he was greeted by a rather innocent looking old lady sporting thick glasses with a smile and carrying a steamy bowl of soup. 

“Uh, hello.” Steve greeted meekly, not knowing how to reply. He didn’t know if [Y/N] was in a different persona here or if he’ll be recognized or anything. 

“Good morning.” The old woman greeted back, showing off a welcoming smile. She handed the bow of soup towards Steve, confusing him slightly but he took it anyways. “I just wanted to give [Y/N] some chicken soup.”

“Thank you very much, ma'am.”

“Is she okay? I saw that she was a little tired last night.” The woman sounded genuinely concerned and she was. She actually did see Steve carrying [Y/N] to her apartment while she was unconscious. She just needed to know if she was alright by the goodness of her heart. Steve sensed this and felt like she had the right to be at ease. 

“Yes, she’s getting better. She has been overworking herself,” Steve reasoned, quickly thinking of an excuse for what the woman saw. 

“Oh, how unfortunate. I know she’s a workaholic; always leaving early then going back in the middle of the night. I just get so worried sometimes.” The woman shook her head, remembering the very few times she saw [Y/N] go back home and [Y/N] always seemed too tired to be bothered. 

“Yes, well, I’ll make sure she eats all of this.” Steve bantered, gesturing to the bowl and making the mood a little brighter. The old woman chuckled at the young man in front of her. 

“She’s so lucky to have such a nice boy to look after her.” The old woman cooed as she placed a comforting hand on Steve’s arm. “Be good to her, okay?”

Steve’s brows furrowed in shock. Is this woman saying what he thinks she’s saying? “Uh-”

“Of course he will.” A voice giggled as Steve felt a hand snake around his arm. 

[Y/N] woke up to the sound of Steve trying to be slick a moment ago. She would peek out and silently chuckle at him maneuvering himself from all the stuff she had on her floor. She couldn’t forget that frustrated look on his face when he had to open the door. She ought to tease him about it later.

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