we are brothers

so my brother in law wanted to go on a side quest for his pathfinder homegame, for a perfectly ordinary, but very expensive, emerald necklace. he needed one more player, so I offered to help.

so there’s my bard, his magus, and his two friends first level fighter and sorcerer.

we explored the town, found that despite being almost completely abandoned, this tiny-ass town had a horde of zombies, choker vines everywhere, a cult, and a motherfucking dragon.

We destroyed the choker vines, avoided the zombies, had tea with the cultists. We also found the emerald.

brother-in-law: “before we leave, where is the dragon?”

cultist tells him it lives in this old, ruined keep with no top at the edge of town. where we go, because apparently, I’m slow on the uptake.

Me: “wait. why are we going there?”

Brother-in-law: “because we haven’t killed the dragon”

Me: “… why do we need to kill the dragon?”

Brother-in-law: “well, dragons have hordes.”

Me: “and will continue to have it with more satisfaction when we are dead?”

Brother-in-law: “I don’t care what you do, but I’m going.”

Me (thinking): oh my god. I’m the healer you moron! how am I supposed to just let you do that??

Me: “fine, I’ll go die with you.”

So we go in, and I attempt to talk the dragon out of his horde- which goes over better than expected.

GM (my dad, for reference): “roll sense motive”

my bard: 18

GM: “ you think if you give it the emerald it will let you leave.”

Brother-in-law: “Nope” attacks the dragon.

initiative hits, no one counts as surprised here and the dragon rolls a 2.

I immediately roll up a intimidate check and because it is my character’s specialty, I shake the dragon for four rounds, then the squishies and I fall back to the human-sized part of the structure and let the magus tangle with the lizard.

the magus starts of with a crit, and confirms it. the dragon pulls a full round but only hits once. the following three rounds the magus does near max damage, and the dragon continues to miss for the sake of bad die rolls. Meanwhile, me and the sorcerer are taking what pot-shots we can through the archway.

over all, it goes well, but even with the dragon missing like crazy, Brother-in-law’s magus is being torn up badly.

Brother-in-law: “so can we withdraw-”

Me: “No, we can’t because we had to come into the dragon’s lair and now we are stuck with it because the motherfucker has wings. Now fight the lizard.”

finally the dragon decides it’s sick of how hard it is to hit and climbs up the wall out of the magus reach.

the magus casts an ranged spell, makes spell resist

DM: “okay, it’s dead”

Me: “wait, really? but no one’s dead”

DM: “yup because my dice are mutinous bastards. one more round and you’d have been dead- it was climbing over to go collapse the roof on you”

Brother-in-law: “See, <my name>, it was fine. we-”

Me: “shush. this was luck we should be dead. let’s find it’s horde and leave.”

DM: “you don’t find it- it’s no where in the keep.”

Me: frustrated “well that’s great. then we leave. No, I’m not healing you till tomorrow.”

then we fought 20 cultists. they killed the 1st lv fighter. I blame the ninny that asked the dragon cultist where the dragon was.

admfirmuspiett  asked:

You said platonic "I love you" prompt? Wedge+Luke 15

“I love you” loud, so everyone can hear – Wedge and Luke

This is so overdue, and I’m so sorry. I had a really hard time writing the humor in this one. Apparently I can’t write romance or humor. But the idea was too perfect to discard, so I stuck with it. I hope it was worth the wait.

Keep reading

That scene with Hyde and Eric, Donna and Jackie talking about Eric and Donna having sex when Midge left and the one in season 2 when they are doing the exact same thing, talking about sex… those are the best, lol.

Someone should made the parallel gifset.

I just ate a fancy mars bar, but it was full of milk chocolate mousse and covered in Valrhona chocolate. So not a real mars bar. But that was what it was called on the menu.

Dean paced with short steps, hands balled into fists and shoulders tense. He was such a gentle emperor, it could be easy for one to forget his size and power. It was not long ago that he wore a uniform and was one piece of a human machine. 

A pale, golden glow filled the room. Dust motes swirled in the disturbed air with Dean’s every step. The morning sky was serene as the sun began climbing over the treeline in the distance. It was too beautiful a morning for such rage, but Dean had long ago learned that crisis never chose to show up during a storm. The storms just followed. Natural consequences to disastrous actions. 

“What should we tell your brother?” Charlie never feared him and he loved her for that. 

He stopped and took a breath, watching a flock of birds swirl above the forest. They crossed directly in front of the sun and their small forms were lost to the light. 

“Tell Sam I’m coming to see him. We can discuss the declaration then.” Dean closed his eyes and pushed away the memories of his old battalion. 

Benny cleared his throat. “And what do we tell the… future emperor of the twelve kingdoms?”

Dean opened his eyes as the memory of his commander on his knees played out. Your imperial highness, we must get you to safety. 

Seventh in line. He was the seventh in line, and suddenly he was the emperor. Mother, father, uncles, cousins. Everyone who had been in line ahead of him, gone. A war zone should never have been the place to preserve a soldier’s life. 

“Tell Azazel I keep my promises,” Dean said. 

The door opened and Cas entered quickly with his guard behind him. He touched the side of Dean’s face, his brows drawn together and mouth turned down. 

Dean waved Benny and Charlie away, preferring a moment with his husband alone. The guard left last, closing the doors behind herself. Tension bled from Dean’s muscles as Cas stepped in close and kissed him. 

“Dean, I’m so sorry.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders and held him tight. 

“We’ll get through it, we always do.” Dean buried his face into Cas’ neck, his hands resting just above Cas’ hips. 

“The civil war only ended seven years ago. He won’t even give us a decade of peace.” Cas ran his fingers through the hair at the base of Dean’s neck. 

The morning sun kept rising over the forest, reflecting light off the snow in the northern mountains. Wind blew in from the southern sea and ran through chimes hanging all over the city. The bells of peace. Dean was going to have to tell his citizens to take the chimes down. There would be no more peace. 

anonymous asked:

Bruhhh that Camila Cabello song is damn catchy. Kudos my Evan brother, we r proud of u

Is it? The video was funny, but the song was kinda cringe-y lol. I would love it though if I see Lauren’s head on the guy 😂

anonymous asked:

Okay but if Taako and Kravitz ever got married I bet Magnus would like be so excited when he found out and beg Taako to be his best man and then get super into it and cry ten times during his speech at the reception

he would he would be like *drunkenly picks up taako* this man, I love him. obviously not as much as kravitz but I would die for him. we are blood brothers. we have survived so much shit and I love this guy so much. anyway who wants cake

Shout out to the kids born at the turn of the century. We’re all a bit to young to be ‘90s kids, and yet we experienced a cultural phenomenon all our own. 

Shout out to the kids who grew up with the Disney Channel. Not “old Disney”, but with such gems as:

  • Hannah Montana
  • The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
  • Phineas and Ferb
  • The Wizards of Waverly Place
  • Sonny with a Chance
  • The Suite Life on Deck

And, of course, the Disney Channel original movies:

  • High School Musical (and both sequels)
  • Princess Protection Program
  • Camp Rock
  • Cheetah Girls
  • Jump In

And the other blockbuster (rip) movies of the time:

  • Sky High
  • Freaky Friday
  • The Princess Diaries
  • Ratatouille

Shout out to the kids who collected silly bands like it was their job. The kids who were cool if the had a slide phone with an unlimited text plan. The kids whose boybands were Big Time Rush and the Jonas Brothers. 

Shout out to the kids who wore their bootcut jeans and sequins with pride. we may not be ‘90s kids, but we still have our fair share of cringy nostalgia.

2

Fairy Watching vs. Star Gazing cuz I don’t know which one I like better.

4

Hanzo: brother no.

Genji: brother yes.

  • Lance: Quick, take my hand!
  • Keith: *grabs Lance's hand* Now what?
  • Lance: *trying not to laugh* Nothing, I just wanted to see if you'd hold my hand.
9

♥♥♥#HappyRaviDay♥♥♥ 

This time zone difference has me so confused lol but I guess that’s the good thing because then he can celebrate it again “tomorrow” with us fans on the other side of the world right? ^^ Anyways Happy Birthday to the world’s cutest, fluffiest, and kindest rapper £2 Love you to the moon & back 😘 😘  Please stay healthy & always be happy!! Let’s celebrate again next year!!