we are beautiful, we are doomed

5 New ideas for outlining stories

Maybe you are tired of all outlining techniques out there… the snowflake, the skeletal, the summary, the visual map, you’ve tried them all. And, although they are great, nothing works anymore. Or never worked in the first place. Maybe, when you outline, you feel like the magic is gone, the story has already been told, you don’t need to write it anymore. Outlining makes your bored.

Then, you try going pantser, but you get lost to where your story should be going soon after the first plot point. Not outlining makes you lost.

Originally posted by murallamuerta

We need to jump outside the box of plotter and pantser. No one is 100% plotter, or 100% pantser. We are neither. In truth, we are explores, travelers, discoverers of beautiful stories, sometimes we have maps, sometimes we are following the unknown.

If we outline with fear and/or severity, we are doomed. Outlining is supposed to be on the creative side of the brain. It’s the whole picture of a drawing. Or the sketch of a sculpture. So, let’s try an artistic approach to outlining. 

1. TV Series:

For a moment, pretend that you are not writing a book, but a 15-episodes TV series. Write down a small paragraph to what should happen in each episode. Don’t worry about details, make it general. With 15 episodes planned out, you’ll have a clear view of the story. As you write, use the episodes as guidance.

This exercise helps you explore plot details.

2. Hours:

Think of your story as the hand of a clock, it has to run through twelves parts to close the circle. Draw a clock, but, instead of hours, write down plot points. Every hour should change the story somehow and guide the characters to a conclusion.

This exercise helps you keep track with the main plot.  

3. Branches

Picture your story as the branches of a tree. Better yet, grab a paper and draw your tree trunk. The trunk is the beginning of the story. Part the trunk into two big branches. These two branches are two different turns your story could take. From two big branches, create four smaller ones. At each split, create a new course for your story. At the end of the exercise, you’ll have many outlines to choose from.

This exercise helps you discover new possibilities.

4. Mixing

Mix the outline of two existing stories from books, movies or games to create your own. Very simple and easy. Write down one or more paragraphs on how these two stories would merge into one completely new.

This exercise helps you unravel new angles to old ideas. 

5. Tags

Make a list of 10 to 50 words of objects, colors, places, animals or even feelings. Pick three words randomly and try to incorporate them into your story.

This exercise helps you think outside the box.

You can try your favorite exercise, or all of them.

John Williams’s Stoner is an extraordinary novel with an extra ordinary (not extraordinary) hero.

William Stoner almost always plays it safe, making predictable, sensible choices. He studies literature at the University of Missouri and ends up teaching there for the next 40 years. Even though he teaches the same classes over and over, he isn’t completely able to articulate to his students what he loves about literature. He marries badly, has a child to whom he wishes to be closer, enters into a doomed but beautiful love affair, and writes a failed book.

If the plot sounds a little dull or unoriginal to you, I believe that was Williams’s intention. Williams created in Stoner a character who demands no attention from the students who pass him in the quads of Jesse Hall. But as readers we’re privy to the quiet desperation (as Thoreau put it) that is the result of everything Stoner wants being just out of his reach. Although he hides it from the world, we see and feel the constant disappointment he experiences; and to make it all the more frustrating—and all the more real—these disappointments are due sometimes to his own safe choices and sometimes to circumstances that are out of his control.

But where other characters in other novels by other authors might respond to a lifetime of incessant disappointment with suicide, Stoner takes up Hamlet’s question, wondering if his life is worth living. But he goes beyond simply asking the question of himself; he realizes the question is general to all mankind, and more importantly it doesn’t necessarily spring from dire and immediate circumstances:  

It came, he believed, from the accretion of his years, from the density of accident and circumstance, and from what he had come to understand of them. He took a grim and ironic pleasure from the possibility that what little learning he had managed to acquire had led him to this kind of knowledge: that in the long run all things, even the learning that let him know this, were futile and empty, and at last diminished into a nothingness they did not alter.

Williams’s prose is beautiful in the most subtle, restrained way. It’s quite remarkable to understand the pulsing emotions bubbling under Stoner’s surface when his outward appearance is so tame, but that’s how most of us live. Indeed, that’s the magic of Stoner: he’s the kind of unglamorous hero that the rest of us are.

I’ve run macrolit for three years, and this is my first full-length review. I couldn’t help it because I love this book so much. It’s now a Top 5 all time novel for me. Please read this wonderful, touching book! And if you have read it, please chime in with your thoughts. 

Stoner, John Williams
My Goodreads rating: 5/5
Currently 37% off at Amazon

Everything is more beautiful
Because we are doomed.
Doomed to an inevitable fate.
Doomed to a fate
That will claw on us
Imprison us
Make us feel like a burning candle
In which the fire is fading into embers.

Beauty is a temporary thing.
And we are all temporary.
Tragedy is a thing of beauty,
A spark that only shines once.

You will never be lovelier than you were before.
So please, oh gods, let the day before the storm be immortalised.
For I still want to kiss his lips
And press his cheeks to mine
And embrace his body

But not like this.

Not when his eyes are closed.
Not when his body will inevitably burn.
Not when he will never show his smile again.
Not when I will never see him alive.

Oh gods.
This was all my fault.
I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry i’m SORRY

PLEASE GIVE HIM BACK
GIVE HIM BACK TO ME.

I have never asked for anything else
so please
Let his eyelids open once more
Let his eyes shine like it always does
Let me drown in all that is him
All soft and all beautiful and all bright
Or let me drown in my black sorrow.

But i always thought the gods were amused by mortals.
Are you amused now?
As i scream and beg for him,
Are you amused?
As i slaughter for him,
As i injure your kind,
As i kill your children,
Are you amused?

Let the world not remember me for my rage
But for the grief that I had shown
For the hollow husk i had become
For the heartless war machine i became because my heart and soul burned along with him.

Oh how it hurts.
It hurts so much.
For when I always wake up
I think everything was a nightmare
And that
I could change the course of fate
And sail back home
And he and I could grow old together.
And when I turn to him,
To embrace him,
He feels cold.
He feels stiff.
Why is he cold?
Why? Did i hog the blankets like I do all the ti-
Oh.

Oh.

He
Is gone.
He
Is dead.
And i am weak
To the hands of death.
Let him take me,
Let him take me to where he is.
Oh please, Hades.
End me.
For I am nothing without him
For I am a machine without him
For I am everything I do not want to be without him.

Please.

Let me end in a beautiful, tragic way.
And let everyone know that I followed him.
That I am with my heart once again.

—  I am sorry, My Heart. | G.B.

This is an idea for Minako that I’ve always loved, which the anime, very unfortunately, never gets into: that a huge driving force for her is in not making the same mistakes they made before.

WHICH I ABSOLUTELY EXTEND TO HER FEELINGS TOWARD MAMORU BY THE WAY

I’m not sure how far the manga will take it (certainly it wasn’t a factor in Sailor V), but as an idea, I really do enjoy it, and it’s implications for Minako. It’s not just about stopping the bad guys, it’s about ALL the mistakes they made, and I think that’s a fascinating concept to leave to Minako to determine about herself, her friends, and their world.

It was obedience to the Father that saved this world, and love was shown by being obedient even unto death.

Christ, in the moment of his death, showed the world what the true cost of our hate and selfishness was. It was the life of love, it was Jesus, the pure and true Adam, the one in whom our hope resides.

The burdens and curses of this world, the heartache and pain of sin and death, they will be erased because of the actions of Jesus. Our pain is great now, and we may wonder and question why, but one thing is for sure. The cross shows us that we are not alone in our sufferings, Jesus took the duty of being the guide in our grief. He is present in the storms of life, showing us his scars and the abundance of love and understanding.

We may mourn in this moment but Christ took the cup of suffering so that we may all drink deeply from the well of grace. We have a God who loves us in this moment, who rejoices when we rejoice and who suffers when we suffer.

That is the beauty of grace, that we sinners, condemned to die without the love of God, have been saved and made new.

We are not alone, we are not doomed, and we are now freed to be in the fullness of God, forevermore.

—  T.B. LaBerge // Go Now
Incorrect Voltron quotes

Lance: How come you’re always the first one to run away?
Hunk: I lead the retreat!

(Source - Transformers: Robots in Disguise, 2001)
—–

Hunk: *underwater and sinking* Swim swim swim swim swimswimswimswim- dang.

(Source - Transformers: Robots in Disguise, 2001)
—–

Hunk: Huh. No power… no weapons… We’re all gonna die.
Lance: Yup.

(Source - Transformers: Beast Wars)
—–

Lance: I’ve gotta hand it to you, Shiro. When you screw up you do it big-time.

(Source - Transformers: Beast Wars)
—–

Zarkon: Your persistence is futile! I rise again…
Lance: In that case – let us give you further to fall!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Zarkon: Why throw away your life so recklessly?
Shiro: That’s a question you should ask yourself, Zarkon.

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Lance: Why’d they make you Paladin leader, Shiro? You got no sense of adventure.
Shiro: Exactly.

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Coran: Unless I’m wrong, which is of course extremely unlikely, we are being led to a very ancient and sacred place.

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Coran: Face me, monster! You will rue the day you crossed Cor – AACK!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Pidge: A scanner at twelve o'clock, Shiro.
Shiro: Let’s see if they can scan this! [BLAM!]

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Shiro: I’ve got better things to do tonight than die!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Galran: Silence, or you’ll be held in contempt of this court.
Keith: I have nothing but contempt for this court!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Pidge/Hunk/Allura: I am sick and tired of being responsible for the welfare of the entire universe and its outlying suburbs!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Allura: …Remember, we’re all one with the universe.
Shiro: We’re about to become one with the pavement! Duck!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Lance: Last big party of the summer, folks. Let’s go out with a bang!
Allura: Just once, couldn’t your attitude reflect the gravity of the situation?
Lance: Not if I can help it!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Hunk: If we surrender our lions we’re doomed.
Lance: And if we don’t we’re doomed too!
Hunk: Face it. We’re dooooomed.

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Shiro: I’ve never seen anything this beautiful in the whole galaxy! Okay, give me the bomb.

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Lance: We’re outgunned, man! We don’t have a chance!
Coran: Boy, that’s what makes life interesting!
Shiro: Or OVER!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Shiro: Lance! Form Voltron!
Lance: I can’t! [snort] I don’t have the instruction booklet!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Coran: Paladins, a cursory evaluation of Galran capability indicates a distinct tactical deficiency.
Shiro: In other words, Coran–
Pidge: We’re outnumbered!

(Source - Transformers G1)
—–

Zarkon: You’ve grown, Princess.
Allura: Well, did you expect me to shrink?

(Source - The Tamuli, David Eddings)

Two kinds of chemists

There are two types of chemistry students. At other universities, they are usually indistinguishable unless you get them drunk enough to tell you about how much they love chemistry. At Elsewhere U, these students meet with very different fates.

The first type pursues chemistry for knowledge. To them, nothing is more beautiful than the fundamental truth of how materials are created. There is no higher goal than the discovery of the structure of everything. These students are, generally, safe. The Fair Folk do not trust their knowledge, made from machines and mathematics, and they have a healthy degree of skepticism about superstition and an even healthier understanding of questions that Should Not Be Asked.

The second type is here for the beautiful creations of chemistry, and they are usually doomed. Each one of us has a story about the compound that entranced them so - for me it was the gentle violet of hexaaquovanadium(II) nitrate (also known by its older, traditional name of aqueous vanadous niter), but it’s different for everyone. We study chemistry not for any grand cause, but with the same obsession that sends moths to a street light. And for us, entranced by the beauty of things the strangers make, prone to long hours in the lab and unaccustomed to caution, it’s only a matter of time before we are taken, like the moth who loves the flame.

[x]

Signs as H.I.M Lyrics
  • Aries: "World was on fire, no one could save me but you/It's strange what desire will make foolish people do" -- Wicked Game
  • Taurus: "A drop of her blood tastes like wine/I answer her call with a rhyme" -- Serpent Ride
  • Gemini: "Side by side: darkness and light/Play their game so unafraid, their heartbeats synchronized" -- Into The Night
  • Cancer: "I admit my defeat and want back home/In your heart under the rose" -- Under the Rose
  • Leo: "Today tomorrow seems so far away/And the wait in vain, yeah/So safe, in the blinding light of love unchained/In yesterday's grave, yeah" -- Sweet Pandemonium
  • Virgo: "It's poetry carved in flesh/This beautiful hell of ours/To the deadliest sin we confess" -- Passion's Killing Floor
  • Libra: "She'll be the light to guide you back home/Just give her a kiss worth dying for" -- Venus Doom
  • Scorpio: "We steal the fire from a sacred heart/And bleed the wine unholy/We fall in love with the serpent's song/And fear nothing" -- In the Night Side of Eden
  • Sagittarius: "We will be so free from all that has been./So free from all that we’ve seen." -- I Will be the End of You
  • Capricorn: "Death served wine for lovers/Brought from the world where devils reign/And intoxicated angels with sorrow/They witnessed in the eyes of their slaves" -- Behind the Crimson Door
  • Aquarius: "My church is not of silver and gold,/It's glory lies beyond judgement of souls/The commandments are of consolation and warmth" -- The Sacrament
  • Pisces: "Labyrinth in a shape of a heart/Love's secret architecture/I find myself to be lost in the/Arms of your fate" -- Face of God
What I miss?

So I know this definitely won’t happen in the next vid but let me hope ok? I’m writting a so here’s something short to ease up from it.

—-

They sunk down “into the unknown” and popped up in Anxiety’s room a second later.

“I knew I should have taken that left turn in Albuquerque”

Logic rolled his eyes, of course someone was going to make a joke. Patton was currently laughing in the background and Prince was talking about Looney Toons.

Pinching his fingers on the bridge of his nose, the Teacher sighed.

“Can we put all jokes and cartoon references aside, so we can just find Anxiety? Please?”

“Sure thing Logan, sorr-”

“I found him!”

Dad was startled at being cut off by Thomas but he turned to the direction the host was pointing at.

Princey sighed exasperatedly as he looked towards the once missing trait.
 
“There is just no drama today is there? I expected him to be hiding or plotting something nafarious but this? This is rather cute”

Anxiety was curled up in his bed deeply asleep with his headphones on. He was almost perfectly camouflaged within its pillows and sheets, so much so that if you weren’t looking for him you wouldn’t have found him at all.

Morality gushed.

“Aww, he is pretty cute like this isn’t he Roman? Oh! Look you guys, Freckles! He’s got little freckles everywhere, that’s adorable”

“You’re squeeing is gonna wake him” giggled Thomas.


Logan walked forward to the bed, easily finding the younger’s phone and clicking on the screen.

“I highly doubt that, he’s listening to “The sound of Rain” on full volume, he can’t hear us”

“I like the rain, it sounds pretty, smells pretty too! But it also makes me sleepy, but then again it cancels any plans fir me to leave the house, so it maje me happy and sad?  I dunno, I like the rain”

The Logical facet could do no more than blink incredulously at his host. He was so so - he checked his vocabulary cards-done with today.

“So now what? We found Mr. Gloom and Doom and I don’t think we should wake him so let’s just leave” Huffed out the Prince.

“Aww, you wanna leave him to sleep don’t you? That’s sweet kiddo”

The Royal rolled his eyes at Pat but gave the father a conceding shrug, “I may not like him all that much but I would hate to be disturbed from my beauty sleep and he obviously doesn’t get much, mayhaps this is why he’s so grumpy all the time-”
 
“As much as I would like to leave him to rest, I can’t exactly deal with that”, he pointed to the Thomas poking a clock, “any longer-”

“It’s moving so fast you guys!”

Logan scowled, “That’s it, I’m waking him”

“Uh, I don’t think you should-”

The Teacher ignored the father and placed his hand on Anxiety’s shoulder, the reaction was instant, the younger trait jolted up, visibly startled, headphones flying off as testament.

Morality was there at his side in a blink.

“Woah, easy there kiddo, it’s just us, no monsters out to get ya, you’re alright”

Anxiety took a breath and slowly calmed. He picked up his headphones and unplugged them from his phone. He then turned off the do not disturb mode from off the device only to then drop the electronic as a series of bells, chimes and tweets fill the air.

The Dark trait watched with wide eyes as his phone vibrated from the number of notifications he was receiving. He tenativley picked it up and opened a few, majority of them were from Thomas’ tumblr inbox. Most if not all where asking the same thing:

“Where’s Anxiety?”

“What did you do to Anxiety?”

“Is Anxiety ok?”

“Where did he go?”


The Youngest facet was extremely confused and he looked up at the four others.

“The heck? What I miss?”

—–

AN:// aaaay who’s hype for this evening?! I know I am lol, anyway here’s the tag list, hope y'all enjoy @prinxietyhell @anxietyandlogic @thebrightsun @prinxietys @trashsinsunrelenting @pretty-mr-sanders @madamesin @lampisimportant @polysandershell @z4rylynn @tsship @sanderships

@slightly-functioningsociopath @anxietyismycuppatea @remmythepegasis And yes I still don’t know how to bold and and Italics on mobile yet lol

the iliad (according to goodreads) sentence meme.

‘ let me not die ingloriously and without a struggle, ‘
‘ let me first do some great thing that shall be told among men hereafter  ‘
‘ hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another  ‘
‘  we men are wretched things ‘
‘  why so much grief for me?  ‘
‘  there can be no covenants between men and lions. ‘
‘ wolves and lambs can never be of one mind. ‘
‘ there can be no understanding between you and me, nor may there be any covenants between us, till one or other shall fall. ‘
‘  if a man’s hour is come, be he brave or be he coward, there is no escape for him when he has once been born. ‘
‘  no man or woman born, coward or brave, can shun his destiny. ‘
‘ still, we will let all this be a thing of the past, though it hurts us. ‘
‘  you, you insolent brazen bitch—  ‘
‘  the roaring seas and many a dark range of mountains lie between us.  ‘
‘  you’re the most appalling driver in the world! go to hell! ‘
‘  in death all things appear fair. ‘
‘  any moment might be our last.  ‘
‘  everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed  ‘
‘  you will never be lovelier than you are now ‘
‘  we will never be here again  ‘

Good Girl CH 6: First Day

“No.” I deadpan.

“But Joo-ya, it’s required.” Jin holds the uniform out to me.

“Absolutely not. I will look like a child.”

“If you don’t change I’m just going to bring you to Xiumin hyung and have him do it,” Yoongi threatens, tired of this argument. I snatch the uniform out of Jin’s hand and stomp upstairs to my room. After I change I look at myself in the full-length mirror, kind of hating how childish it makes me look. I had to change my hair because I had it in two braids to just leaving it naturally curly. Since it’s the beginning of winter I decided to wear the dark blue sweater under my gray jacket. The matching gray skirt ends mid thigh but my thigh high socks thankfully keeps the rest of my leg warm. A cute peacoat came with the uniform that is the same dark blue as my socks and sweater. I’m not surprised when I get down stairs and the first thing Jin does is fix my cherry red tie that I messed up on.

The other boys are standing there waiting in their matching uniforms, navy pants, a gray jacket, and a nice white button up. Yoongi, being the rebel that he is, has his tie loosely hanging on his neck while the others most likely had theirs tied by Jin like me.

“Jin oppa,” I call out when we get in the massive SUV that they drive around, I sit in the middle with Yoongi and Hoseok. “Why are you driving to school? Don’t you have work?”

He nods, “I’m going to bring the rest of your stuff to the house after I drop you guys off.”

“Am I going with you guys after school too?”

Namjoon shakes his head before turning to face us in the passenger’s seat, “One of the other guys will take you home.”

“Kitty or Dragon oppa?” I ask hopeful it won’t have to be one of the ones that denied me yesterday but from the way Namjoon looks at me, I know I’m not that lucky. “Ugh, I don’t want to see them,” I grumble as I rest my head on a sleeping Yoongi’s shoulder.

“They want to see you,” Tae says resting his head on the back of my seat.

“Don’t tease me Tae,” I roll my eyes at the younger boy.

He chuckles, “I’m not teasing, it’s only been two days and those boys already miss you.”

“You guys talked to them?”

Jimin leans forward so he’s even with Tae, “Yep, and they couldn’t stop asking about you. They kept asking all these questions about you getting ready to move you in and about what you like. You should have heard them on the phone this morning. Trust us Noona, they miss you”

“They sure don’t know how to show it,” I scoff.

“That’s because they don’t know how to talk to girls who they want to have more then sex with. They can show it physically in case you can’t tell,” I think back to all of the physical affection I received, “but the minute you ask them how they feel about you, they shut down.”

“How come Kitty and Dragon do it just fine?”

“We aren’t sure,” Hoseok shrug. “But Joo-ya you have to be careful around them, no isn’t something they hear often so incase you haven’t noticed, they don’t react well to it.”

“That is something I can understand, rejection isn’t my favorite either.”

“Jooyoung, we are serious. Only use that word when you have to. Xiumin hyung’s reaction yesterday is very calm for how they normally react to someone turning them down, so please be cautious.” Jin warns.

“Yes, Oppa,” I say softly as I snuggle into Yoongi’s side. He wakes up and wraps an arm around me before going back to sleep. I sleep the rest of the drive, having to wake up at 5:45 to get ready isn’t something I’m use to. When the boys texted me last night telling me to be ready by 6:20 I was about ready to cry but when I thought about the drive I figured I could gain an hour back. We got to school by 7:30, there were already cars lined up in front the gate to get it, all nice and over expensive cars most driven by shofars. I’m surprised when Jin drives past the line and strait up to the iron gate that opens automatically. We drive in, the gate closing behind us, around the water fountain to the marble steps that lead to the school. Jin parks there and climbs out, everyone follows suit. Yoongi keeps his arm around my shoulders as we walk up the stairs.

The doors are opened by older men in suits who bow as we enter. I’m in aw at the massive open entrance, two massive flights of stairs on each floor lead up to the next. The large glass doom over head lets in the light of the rising sun, making the already beautiful room seem more amazing. I’m pulled out of my daze as Yoongi drags me down one the halls where the rest of our group has already disappeared in.

“You will have plenty of time to gawk later, we need to get your schedule,” Yoongi scolds as we turn once again to find a little sitting room, with a pretty lady sitting at a desk. She is leaning forward on her desk, showing what little cleavage she has to a very annoyed but too polite Jin.

“Can we talk later, I have things to do,” Jin says trying to not let his irritation show in his voice.

“If we have to Jin-ssi,” She purrs, oh my god, I want to throw up. “Let me just find that schedule you were looking for, could you tell me the name again?”

“Kim Jooyoung,” He says, I’m guessing for the second time.

“That’s a wonderful name, it’s another one of your boys?” She looks past him, eyeing the five behind him.

“Thank you, but no,” I say with a bitter sweet smile as Yoongi and I reach the desk. Her flirty smile falters as she scans me; she quickly straitens her self and suddenly becomes professional. “My schedule if you please.”

The boys snicker behind me as the women types quickly into her computer, “You can have a seat, the headmaster himself would like to talk to you, it’s going to be a while.” She looks back to Jin, “I guess that means we can have that talk now.”

“I actually have to get going, I have somewhere to be,” Jin backs away, “Have a good first day Joo-ya.” He kisses my forehead before basically running out of the waiting area. I have to do my best to keep myself from laughing at the grimace she makes when he is gone.

“How long are we going to have to wait?” Namjoon asks the depressed receptionist.

“I’ll page him but he said he had a really important meeting this morning,” She picks up her phone and dials a number. “Hello Sir, I know you are waiting for your important meeting but a new student is here,” She pauses, “Kim Jooyoung.” She looks as if she is about to cry when he responds.

The double doors to her left fly open and there stands a very nicely dressed Suho. He quickly scans the seven of us, stopping when he finds me and Yoongi, still hooked together; his eyes narrow. Yoongi notices and takes his arms off me slowly, giving me an apologetic smile as he looks to his other friends, “We should be heading to class guys.”

“But Yoongi oppa,” I whine as him and the others head toward the door.

“We will see you in class,” Namjoon gives me a wave, while the others can’t even meet my eyes because they know; they are leaving me to the wolves. I look at a very tense Suho, whose glare is still fixed on the boys as they leave.

“Please come in,” Suho steps to the side and gestures me to go in. When he can tell I’m hesitant he takes a deep breath before trying again, “Jooyoung, please come in.” Without a word I shuffle inside, stopping right inside the door. “In one of the chairs please.” I obey once again and sit down in one of the comfortable chairs in front of the massive mahogany desk. The doors close behind me; the click of a lock loud and clear in the silence. I look over my shoulder at him, nervousness must be obvious on my face because he tries his best to give me a warm smile.

“You could have just had her give me my schedule,” I tell him as he walks around the desk to sit in his chair.

He nods, scooting closer and resting his elbows on the desk, “I could have, but then I wouldn’t have been able to see you.”

I can’t help but be cold, even with that smile, “Why would you want to see me?”

“Because I missed you, even though I have only known you for a short time, I missed you.”

I chuckle humorlessly, “You aren’t attached to me, remember? You are one of the reasons I left in the first place.” I can tell he is hurt by my words but I don’t care.

“I’m sorry, but didn’t you tell us that you would react to you the same way we reacted to you the next time we met?”

“I did.”

“Well,” He gives me that amazing soft smile again, “I’m trying to be warm but you are icying me out.”

I take a deep breath as I try to forget about the embarrassment I felt two days ago, “Understand that I don’t do stuff like that often, ask people what I mean to them because I know I won’t want to hear the answer, and you guys strait up denied me.”

“And we are sorry, so please Jooyoung, please forgive us and give us one more chance.”

“This isn’t because Kitty oppa threatened you right? You are doing this of my own free will?” I clarify.

He nods giving me a big smile, “Xiumin hyung is much better at expressing what is going on in his head than us, in fact he can explain to us what’s going on in our heads before us.” I nod, “So are we okay?”

I smile, “We are good. But can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” He beams at me.

“What is our relationship?”

He pauses, thinking over his answer, “I can’t give you a simple answer to that, but the best way I can describe it is that you are our Jooyoung and I am your Suho.”

“My Suho? What does that mean?”

“It means that we don’t have lines in our relationship, I can be many different things, just like any of the others can be many different things.”

“What kind of things?” The question sounds more perverted then I intended.

He grins before signaling me to come over to the other side. I hesitantly stand up and walking around the desk; yelping slightly when he pulls me on to his lap. With one hand on my back and the other resting on the bare skin of my thigh, in between my stockings and skirt, I feel kind of like a child on his lap.

“Anything. We can help you in school as a tutor. Listen to any of your problems as a friend. Protect you as a father. Touch you as lover.” As he speaks his hand slowly makes it way higher up my thigh under my skirt. “You just tell us baby girl and we will be it. Understand?”

I gulp and nod.

He kisses my forehead and squeezes my thigh, “Good girl.” Someone starts banging on the door; I try and jump off of Suho’s lap but his light touches suddenly becomes a death grip as the banging continues.

“Oppa let go!” I whisper as I try and swat his hands away with no luck.

“Hyung!” A familiar voice yells from the other side of the door.

“Those idiots have some timing,” Suho grumbles as he reaches under his desk and presses a button. The lock clicks and the door busts open, followed by five boys tumbling in, I cling to Suho at sudden intrusion. “Close the door behind you,” He orders when they stand and dust themselves off.

“So demanding,” Kai mumbles as he obeys, locking the door again. They all stare wide-eyed at the position I’m in. “Well good to know everything is working out.”

“Noona!” Sehun whines as he comes running forward, not even caring about the glares he receives from his hyungs. I’m stunned to see concern on his handsome face instead of his normal bitch face. “Suho hyung, you were supposed to tell us when she got here so we could do this together.”

“It’s okay,” Suho says back, “I figured it out, you guys just need to apologize too.”

Sehun grabs both of my hands and gets in real close as if we are filming a scene for a drama, “Noona, I am really sorry. Will you forgive me?”

I pull one of my hands free and stroke the younger’s head affectionately, “Yes, I forgive you.”

“Yay!” His sudden cuteness throws me off more when he hugs, only for a second before Suho pushes him away.

“Why do you get to hold her?” Panda comes forward with his arms crossed of his chest.

“I need to hug her to apologize properly,” Elf coos, his arms out stretched for me.

“I think I’ll save my apology for later,” Kai grins at me, “When we have more privacy.”

“It’s actually time for class so you guys can save your flirting for later,” Suho says firmly as he finally lets me down. I land on the ground with a click of my one inch heels.

“I will take her to class!” Panda yells jumping up and down.

“None of you will be taking her to class, so get your hug and scram.” With that there is a sudden mob of boys fighting over me. Elf wins by literally kicking all of the others out of the way.

“I’m sorry for being such a dick and not admitting I really like you,” He whispers in my ear before reluctantly handing me over to Panda.

“You look so cute in your uniform,” Panda coos at me, “Do you like mine?” He spins around once, posing a few times making me laugh.

“You look very handsome Oppa,” I say threw my laughs.

He smiles at me, “And you look very beautiful when you laugh.”

“My turn,” Kai whispers in my ear when he suddenly comes up behind and back hugs me. “I’m sorry baby girl.” I pause for a second, surprised when my alarms don’t go off, but with their silence I place my hands over Kai’s and lean into his embrace. Something that surprises even him.

“No alarms,” I answer the question they’re all thinking. “You must have had a very drastic change of heart.”

He nuzzles into the crook of my neck, “So no jumping away whenever I touch you?” I nod, earning me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Good.”

“Now you,” I slip from Kai’s grip to come face to face with a silent Owl. His eyes get wider as I come closer and I’m reminded of when I attacked him a few nights ago. “I think I should be apologizing to you.” I say honestly, surprising the nervous boy, “I seem to always scare you, I’m sorry.”

“You are beautiful,” He blurts out, automatically blushing at his own words. “You don’t scare me, I just get nervous, I’m sorry for making you feel otherwise. I’m also sorry for making you feel unwanted when we really do.” He bows quickly before rushing off to stand in the corner of the room.

“Wow, I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard him talk to a girl,” Elf chuckles as he rests his arm on my shoulders, “You should feel honored.”

Another knock on the door makes everyone freeze. I slip out from Elf’s reach and sit back down in one of the chairs in front of Suho. I can’t even hear the door unlock this time but when I opens I am out of my seat again, rushing towards the new comer.

“Ji-ya!” I yell excitedly.

She is dumbstruck for a minute before she realizes who the girl hugging her is me, “Joo-ya?” She holds me at arms length, giving me a once over before pulling me back in for a hug. “Joo-ya!”

We swing around for a second before Suho clears his throat to get our attention, “Ladies, if you would please calm down.” It takes us a second but we manage to somewhat calm down, our hands latched together, massive grins on our faces and little giggles slipping from our lips.

“Sorry Headmaster,” Jihyo says as she bows, still not managing to keep a strait face.

“Yea, sorry Headmaster,” I mumble, noticing the way Suho’s sudden professionalism falters at my cuteness.

“Ms. Choi, you will be in charge of taking Ms. Kim to all of her classes today, I assume you two know each other,” Suho eyes us both.

We nod in unison.

“I would have never guessed you two would be close friends,” Kai scoffs, his jerk side showing suddenly. I glare at him.

“What are you guys doing in here?” Jihyo asks narrowing her eyes on the group of boys in the corner.

“Don’t worry about them Ms. Choi, they just busted in like the hooligans they are, interrupting mine and Ms. Kim’s meeting,” Suho chuckles. He reaches under his desk again and holds out a cute backpack that matches my uniform. “This is your backpack.”

“It is?” I question as he lets it go in my hand, the weight of the bag almost knocking me down. Jihyo easily hold me up, laughing at my struggle. “What is in here?”

“Your necessities, notebooks, pens, pencils, a computer and a few other things. Sorry if it’s a bit much,” Suho gives me an apologetic smile.

“No, it great, thank you Headmaster.”

“Good, here is your schedule Ms. Kim,” He hands me a piece of paper. “And you can have Ms. Choi take you to lunch in the lounge.”

“She can get into the lounge?” Jihyo stares at Suho in disbelief. “I just got in their myself, I thought you had to be a member for a whole year before you can invite another person.”

“Ms. Kim is a member already, you just need to show her the way.”

Jihyo nods excitedly before grabbing my hand once again, “Since that is all, we will be going.”

“Wait!” Sehun stops us, “We’ll walk with you.”

“No thanks,” Jihyo gives him a cold smile before leading me out the door.