Band (Part 3)
So, I guess you guys are enjoying these posts? Here’s another set of shenanigans that have occured.
- Band alum came back for a pep band game. I look up at the percussion section and notice he’s aggressively playing the Glock…. He plays baritone.
- We were playing Cupid Shuffle. (When we do this, the band director and several percussionist dance with her.) Well, my band director told us not to speed up because “she’s too old for this.” We did anyway. I look up at the end of the song and she just FALLS ON HER FACE. My director stands up and GLARES at the set player. She says, “I fell because I’m clumsy, but you sped up sooo much.”
- We had some incoming freshmen play with us at the game. The saxophones, low brass, and percussion were all roasting each other and all the potential newbies were confused. Cue the saxophonist dying laughing and my band director just slowly turning around. (Like this guy’s face was completely red. I’m pretty sure all the newbies think we are crazy.)
- For our concert we played a song called “A House Divided” (really relevant piece, I advise you listen to it). Well, at the end of the piece we sang “Let freedom ring” and slowly dropped our heads.
I kid you not, we were sitting onstage for half a minute in total silence. Nobody knew what the heck just happened.
- Band director: Umm, this pizza has been sitting out for 2 hours. You can have it if you want. I don’t know if it’s safe to eat though.
- So I was talking to my friend about something and my band director approached us.
Band director: Hey, can I show you guys something?
She showed us her Snapchat where her boyfriend was watching a bootlegged musical.
- Kenny: There’s a Snorlax somewhere!
Bass Clarinetist: Give it up, Kenny, it’s been half an hour.
Kenny: NO. I WILL GET THAT SNORLAX.
Bass Clarinetist: GIVE IT UP.
Sax player: IT IS NOT ON THE MAP ANYMORE.
- During the jazz band portion of the concert a percussionist was passive agressivley played the bongos.
- So one of the trombonist was taking the podium through the theatre.
Me: Umm, you can take that through the gym.
Trombonist, as she approached the stairs: Now you tell me?
Me: You can still-
Trombonist: NO NO. I GOT THIS. *Struggles to get it down first step*
- There is a collection of little stuffed animals in a locker. There’s also two knights and an elephant in the band room. Nobody knows where the elephant came from.
- “You remember the SpongeBob ice cream sundae episode? Yeah, this piece needs to be as intense.”- Band director
- Director: Dress for the concert is BLACK. No red sequenced dresses… No fishnets….
- This happens every pep band game.
Announcer: The winning ticket is *Insert number here*
Band kid: THAT’S ME.
Announcer: I don’t believe you.
- That happened last pep band game, but the band alum came back.
Announcer: The winning number is *insert number here*
Band alum: *Pulling out white tickets* That’s me!
Announcer: I don’t believe you.
Clarinetist: *Pulling out blue tickets* What the heck?
Band alum: These tickets are like a year old.
Mind you, the announcer and the band are on separate sides of the gym. So, the band kid is just SCREAMING this.
- A band kid freaking out because he lost his DCI star from his rookie year of marching DCI. We looked literally everywhere for a solid five minutes…. It was in his instrument.
- Coach, screaming at his player: MARK!
Band, like the seagulls in Finding Nemo: Bork! Bork! Bork! Bork!
- We haven’t had a flautist in our band for a really long time. One of our newbies plays flute and one of the clarinetist found out we might have a flautist and she just SCREAMED. Poor girl freaked out.
- It’s been like 6 months, but I swear half the band is still obsessed with Pokemon Go.
I haven’t had band for a week, so I probably won’t have a part 4 for awhile.