we are all leg ends im telling you

i can’t tell if im getting better or worse. see, the aching in my heart has stopped but now my hands just cannot stop shaking. ive stopped crying everyday but now i just end up throwing things at the wall and hurting myself. my hands are rubbed raw from hanging onto the last remains of you, my legs are burning from all the running away i seem to do, and my soul is so goddamn tired. i can’t sleep it out because even in my sleep, i think of you and what i had hoped we could’ve been. i can’t stop burning my skin in the shower, i can’t stop hoping you’ll beg for me not to let go of you. i can’t stop holding on and jesus fuck more than anything, i want to let go but my hands have only ever know how to hold on as tight as possible. // tell me to let go, make this easier for me, stop making me want to hold on. i want to fucking let go.