we are all falling for it so hard

klaus sacrificed himself for five years, missed so much of hope’s childhood only to do it all over again?

Originally posted by n-wordbelike

there hasnt been a day since june last year that i havent thought about the pulse victims. i carry them in my heart and i will forever. so on this pride month… i know a lot of lgbt latinxs are feeling this way. i know how hard it hit all of us. on this pride month i wanna remind yall how beautiful and amazing you are. how blessed this world is to have you in it. we are strong and we are fearless even though we fall down. so happy pride month to my fellow lgbt latinxs… even those who aren’t out to their people. those who still carry fear. those who will celebrate and grieve on this month quietly. you’re amazing and i love you

[TRANS] SPRING DAY - BTS

Miss you
saying this makes me miss you more
i miss you even though im looking at your photo
time is so cruel, i hate us
seeing each other for once is so hard between us

it’s all winter here even in August
my heart is running on the time alone on the snowpiercer
i wanna get to the other side of the earth holding your hand 
wanna put an end to this winter
how much longing should we see snowing down to have the days of spring, friend

like the tiny dust like tiny dust floating in the air
will i get to you a little faster if i was the snow in the air 

snowflakes fall and get away little by little
i miss you i miss you
how long do i have to wait
and how many sleepless nights do i have to spend
to see you to meet you 

passing by the edge of the cold winter
until the days of the spring 
until the flowers blossom
please stay, please stay there a little longer

is it you who changed or is it me?
i hate this moment that this time flows
we are changing you know, just like everyone you know 
yes i hate you, you left me 
but i never stopped thinking about you, not even a day
honestly i miss you but ill erase you
cuz it hurts less than to blame you

i try to exhale you in pain like smoke, like white smoke
i say that ill erase you but i cant really let you go yet

snowflakes fall and get away little by little
i miss you i miss you
how long do i have to wait
and how many sleepless nights do i have to spend
to see you to meet you

you know it all, youre ma best friend
the morning will come again 
no darkness, no season can last forever

maybe its cherry blossoms and this winter will be over 
i miss you i miss you 
wait a little bit, just a few more nights
ill be there to see you, ill come for you 

passing by the edge of the cold winter
until the days of the spring
until the flowers blossom
please stay, please stay there a little longer

“secretly we all love angst” Sentence Starters

dont deny it DONT DENY IT 

  • “It never works for us, and it never will.”
  • “I’m done. I’m done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.”
  • “I can’t fall in love with you.  I don’t want all the pain that comes with it.”
  • “My roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I haven’t been able to sleep in that bed since you left.”
  • “I keep asking myself “why isn’t the sun bright anymore” but then I remember you’re not in my life anymore and realize it’s just my own eyes.”
  • “I regret it all.  I really do, I swear.  Please, please– let’s fix this, please.”
  • “Remember when you promised we’d always be together?  Because I remember when I thought you meant it.”
  • “I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!”
  • “The phone calls aren’t the same… I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore.”
  • “I’m trying to avoid talking because I know what it’ll lead to, and I don’t want that to come.”
  • “Don’t you think you can fall back in love with me?”
  • “This whole time I’ve been using you to make me feel better, and you never caught on.  You never caught on.  I want you to hate me now, but I don’t think you’re even able to.”
  • “Kissing me breaks the promise… remember?”
  • “Every time we fix things something else ends up breaking.”
  • “Why don’t we stop pretending we’re not on a road to destruction?”
  • “It wasn’t even fun at first, honestly.  It was just like… Morphine.”
  • “You’re just not enough anymore.”
  • “It’s been too long since you’ve really smiled.”
  • “Ah, it was all my fault.  Wasn’t it?”
  • “To think, we thought just the sex would be enough to keep us in love.”
  • “Back then, I lied when I told you I didn’t love you.  You needed to move on from me– I needed to protect you from me.”
  • “You never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”
  • “Quit trying to fix me when you need to just fix yourself.”
  • “I’m so tired of everything about us, and about how we thought we were in love, and how we think forcing it can make us be in love– I’m so tired of it.”
  • “This whole time you’ve still been in love with him/her… Not me.”
  • “I couldn’t make you fall in love with me.  I thought I could do it, I really did, but… But I know you… And this isn’t love.”
  • “Did you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?”
  • “To think I’ve changed so much to get you to like me, and you still never really look my way.”
  • “I know I deserve better than you.  I realize that, but you were so broken… I didn’t want to be the one that made you shatter.”
  • “All of this was to protect myself.”
  • “I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy.”
  • “I never want to even hear your name during my life anymore.”
  • “Your lips used to be sanctuary, but now I just feel trapped.”
  • “Isn’t it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?”
  • “The thing I regret the most is giving you so much hope by agreeing to this date.”
  • “We have the kind of history anyone would never want to think about again, and you’re hear asking me on a date?”
  • “What makes you think I’ll be any different this time?”
  • “I’ll let you down.  I will always let you down.  I’m not enough for you to be satisfied.”
  • “Are you satisfied with the mess you’ve created out of me?”
  • “I should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.”
  • “I’ve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.”
  • “I can’t forget about him/her!  It’s not in my power to forget how he/she felt when they loved me.”
  • “The saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying.  He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.”
  • “Listen…  You’re his/her best friend… and I completely fucked up– it’s over between us, but… please, punch me, or punish me, or do something to me because he/she just… cried.  He/she wasn’t even angry, they were just so sad– Please, be angry at me, please.  Give me what I deserve.”
  • “It would have been better if we never met.”
  • “You’re my regret.”
  • “I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”
  • “Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.”
  • “This is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”
  • “Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love.  How pathetic.”

send a sentence and a name xx

To Anyone who Thinks They're Falling Behind in Life (and aren’t good/creative/ect. enough)

“You don’t need more motivation. You don’t need to be inspired to action. You don’t need to read any more lists and posts about how you’re not doing enough.

But, honestly, here’s the thing that nobody really talks about when it comes to success and motivation and willpower and goals and productivity and all those little buzzwords that have come into popularity: you are as you are until you’re not. You change when you want to change. You put your ideas into action in the timing that is best. That’s just how it happens.

And what I think we all need more than anything is this: permission to be wherever the fuck we are when we’re there.

You’re not a robot. You can’t just conjure up motivation when you don’t have it. Sometimes you’re going through something. Sometimes life has happened. Life! Remember life? Yeah, it teaches you things and sometimes makes you go the long way around for your biggest lessons.

You don’t get to control everything. You can wake up at 5 a.m. every day until you’re tired and broken, but if the words or the painting or the ideas don’t want to come to fruition, they won’t. You can show up every day to your best intentions, but if it’s not the time, it’s just not the fucking time. You need to give yourself permission to be a human being.


Sometimes the novel is not ready to be written because you haven’t met the inspiration for your main character yet. Sometimes you need two more years of life experience before you can make your masterpiece into something that will feel real and true and raw to other people. Sometimes you’re not falling in love because whatever you need to know about yourself is only knowable through solitude. Sometimes you haven’t met your next collaborator. Sometimes your sadness encircles you because, one day, it will be the opus upon which you build your life. We all know this: Our experience cannot always be manipulated. Yet, we don’t act as though we know this truth. We try so hard to manipulate and control our lives, to make creativity into a game to win, to shortcut success because others say they have, to process emotions and uncertainty as if these are linear journeys.

You don’t get to game the system of your life. You just don’t. You don’t get to control every outcome and aspect as a way to never give in to the uncertainty and unpredictability of something that’s beyond what you understand. It’s the basis of presence: to show up as you are in this moment and let that be enough. Yet, we don’t act in a way that supports this lifestyle. We fill every minute with productivity tools and read 30-point lists on how to better drive out natural, human impulse. We often forget that we are as we are until we’re not. We are the same until we’re changed. We can move that a bit further by putting into place healthy habits and to show up to our lives in a way that fosters growth, but we can’t game timing. Timing is the one thing that we often forget to surrender to.

Things are dark until they’re not. Most of our unhappiness stems from the belief that our lives should be different than they are. We believe we have control — and our self-loathing and self-hatred comes from this idea that we should be able to change our circumstances, that we should be richer or hotter or better or happier. While self-responsibility is empowering, it can often lead to this resentment and bitterness that none of us need to be holding within us. We have to put in our best efforts and then give ourselves permission to let whatever happens to happen—and to not feel so directly and vulnerably tied to outcomes. Opportunities often don’t show up in the way we think they will.

You don’t need more motivation or inspiration to create the life you want. You need less shame around the idea that you’re not doing your best. You need to stop listening to people who are in vastly different life circumstances and life stages than you tell you that you’re just not doing or being enough. You need to let timing do what it needs to do. You need to see lessons where you see barriers. You need to understand that what’s right now becomes inspiration later. You need to see that wherever you are now is what becomes your identity later. 

Sometimes we’re not yet the people we need to be in order to contain the desires we have. Sometimes we have to let ourselves evolve into the place where we can allow what we want to transpire. Let’s just say that whatever you want, you want it enough. So much so that you’re making yourself miserable in order to achieve it. What about chilling out? Maybe your motivation isn’t the problem, but that you keep pushing a boulder up a mountain that only grows in size the more you push.

There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand. We can’t game it. We can’t 10-point list it. We can’t control it. We have to just let it be, to take a fucking step back for a moment, stop beating ourselves up into oblivion, and to let the cogs turn as they will
. One day, this moment will make sense. Trust that. Give yourself permission to trust that.”
 
- Jamie Warron
<3

Public relationships are a weird thing. No one has an entitlement to anything within them but once one thing has been shared, it’s hard to know where the line is between what anyone other than you or your partner should/shouldn’t know. What I do know though is that if that relationship comes to an end, it’s hard to avoid telling people whether they have a right to know or not. Given the amount of questions I’ve already had, the longer I leave it, the worse it could be for all involved. So…here goes.

Pete and I broke up.

A couple of months ago.

It’s so much easier to explain a break up when something…happens. When someone lies, cheats, uses, abuses or even falls for someone else and you can say that’s why. That’s why we broke up. But in this case, nothing went wrong. We just simply weren’t right.

That’s really all I can and want to say on it all. Pete and I are still friends, of course. We shared two and a half incredibly magic years together, we both taught each other a lot and we’ll continue to be in each other’s lives until the end.

I just ask that you don’t ask questions and you don’t do the whole “OH BUT WHHHYYYY?! YOU WERE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!!!”…because who does that help, really? We both appreciate that in any public relationship, especially a “youtube” relationship everyone feels very *involved* but only two people were involved in our relationship: myself and Pete and we’d appreciate it if everyone could respect that. We’re both okay and moving forwards and that’s the main thing.

Much, MUCH love and thanks.

<3

When working on your goals …

1. Stop fantasising: Those with too rosy a picture of the future tend to put less effort into reaching their goals. Instead, it’s better to be open to some things going wrong. It will help you see the obstacles - and think through beating them.

2. Visualise process NOT outcome: If you can think through all the steps you will forge a better plan … and it will also help to reduce anxiety.

3. Beware of the “what-the-hell effect”: Too many just give up when they stumble or fall down. For example, think of all the dieters who binge at the first hurdle. It’s better to get up – and to see it as a journey.

4. Attack procrastination: It’s easy to procrastinate when things start getting tough. Make a start, keep your head down, and set yourself some deadlines. Once you start you’ll feel much better and the road won’t seem so hard.

5. Switch out of robot mode: A lot of behaviour is robotic and habitual. We copy other people or we do the same old things. Take stock … and change those patterns … if they don’t lead to your goals.

6. Know when enough is enough: Sometimes we need to know when there’s no point in going on. We’re flogging a dead horse and thing are never going to change. Perhaps it’s time to make that break, and to work on something else.

But like, i can’t really be the only one that considers “The Fortuneteller“ the second (or third)* most anti-kataang episode of the show?

(*Number one is without a doubt “The Ember Island Players“, number two or three, depending on my mood is “The Southern Raiders”)

Like, it’s an episode that dedicates 22 minutes and 43 seconds of it’s 22 minute and 59 second run-time to showing the audience how Aang’s crush is jut that: a crush.

It isn’t even subtle about it:

Her name is Meng, which is phonetically nearly identical to Aang, AS THE SHOW ACTUALLY TAKES TIME TO POINT OUT TO YOU (“That rhymes with Meng!“) and she’s two years younger then the object of her affection.

THIS IS NOT A SUBTLE PARALLEL PEOPLE

Like, it all but rubs in our faces how it’s superficial:

(It even plays the same music.)

Then it has them using the same technique in an attempt to flirt:

Meng: “Hey, Aang. Don’t you think that cloud looks like a flower?”

Aang: “Hey, Katara, don’t you think that cloud look like a flower?”

And getting dismissed.

Then the object of their affections shows complete and utter disinterest:

(Because, they aren’t actually interested at all.)

And so on.

And then this happens:

Meng: “You don’t like me, do you?”
Aang: “Of course I like you.“
Meng: “But not the way I like you.”
Aang: “Oh, I guess not.”
Meng: “It’s okay. It’s just really hard when you like someone, but they don’t think of you that way.”

Aang: “I know what you mean.”
Meng: “She’s beautiful, by the way.”
Aang: “Huh?”
Meng: “That Water Tribe girl. I can see why you like her so much. She’s sweet, she’s a bender and her hair seems so manageable.”

Aang: “Don’t worry. You’re going to meet a great guy who’s going to completely fall for you. I know it.”

And it’s just… such a GOOD and PURE scene? and such a good message to send to children? “You don’t like me the way i like you and, while it’s hard for me, that’s okay.“ What a wonderful thing to put in a children’s cartoon! Especially considering that we live in a world where “first-love-is-forever” is the norm.

I thought that those 16 seconds where Katara actually seems to consider him in a romantic light were there just so that they could milk the will-they-won’t-they for all it’s worth. I thought that there was just no way anyone could spend all that time telling one story, sending one message only to completely disregard it in the end. (aaand looooooool @mini-me what a fool i was, chakra opening rock anyone?)

Like, honestly, the first time i watched this episode I was completely convinced that this scene was foreshadowing the ultimate resolution of Aang’s crush on Katara: Aang realising that it’s one-sided and displaying emotional maturity and self-awareness. And giving his blessing for Katara to pursue other people.

Instead, the poor boy regresses completely, forces a kiss on her and is then rewarded for it by the narrative.

Jealousy pt.1

Originally posted by nnochu

•Bad language
•Reader x Jungkook
•Filthy, filthy smut
•Took me ages writing this
•Daddy kink
•I’m going to hell for this
•Dirty talk
•Rough, against the wall sex

Don’t take the comments seriously, its just a joke, I don’t wish to purposely insult bts

Summary: Taehyung is jealous of your relationship with Jungkook, Kook reminds you who you really belong too

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so the batfam most likely uses inappropriate internet slang around damian because sometimes they forget he’s actually just a kid. ofc this backfires with hilarious consequences, example: 

big chaotic battle with the rogues and the batfam. batfam defeat the rogues and tie them up. they’re all high-fiving each other while the rogues glower and complain and squirm around trying to get out of their restraints.

suddenly, damian shrieks “we railed them so hard!” 

deathly silence. no one’s quite sure they heard him right. 

damian crosses his arms. this wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. with an irritated look on his face, he snaps, “what?” at his mortified audience.

EVERYONE busts out laughing. bruce goes bright red. so does damian, but he’s more angered as to why everyone is laughing at him, “what? what is it?nightwing? father? what is everyone laughing at? all i said was that we railed them.” 

everyone laughs even harder. harley has to be partially untied because she’s laughing so hard she can’t breathe. jason falls to the ground in fits. 

“not that i’m adverse to being, as you say, railed,” edward says between giggles, “however you definitely need to be much older.”

4

In the gathering dark, the will of the Ring grows strong. It works hard now to find its way back into the hands of men. Men, who are so easily seduced by its power. The young captain of Gondor has but to extend his hand to take the Ring for his own and the world will fall. He is close now, so close to achieving his goal. For Sauron will have dominion over all life on this Earth, even until the ending of the world. The time of the elves is over. Do we leave Middle-Earth to its fate? Do we let them stand alone?

anonymous asked:

i hope this doesn't sound weird but reading what you said about death, and thinking about it in a more subjective way has helped me start to come to terms with my dad's illness. i'm slowly become less resentful toward it and acknowledging it in a different light. so thank you

Hey, I’ve been thinking about your ask all day (and a couple of others like it - anon with leukemia, I think my reply got eaten by Tumblr) and I’m sorry I’m just getting to it now.

I’m sorry about your dad, man. I’m not very good at offering comfort, but I’m humbled to know that I’ve helped you deal with it, even just a little.

I don’t know if it’s any use to you, but when it comes to thinking about mortality and loved ones, I find it comforting to stop thinking about time as strictly linear. If you’ve read ‘Slaughterhouse 5’ or seen ‘Arrival’, you know what I mean by that. What we think of as “the present” is merely our consciousness experiencing recollection and anticipation in equal measure - we cannot experience a single moment in isolation, because our senses and cognition are always playing catch-up and guess-ahead. “Past” and “future” are just matters of perspective. Each moment is as real and as valid as any other moment - they don’t undo one another. A lifetime is like a book - birth at the beginning, death at the end. Sure, we can only read one page at a time, but those other pages are still real. There are many chapters of health and happiness that made it into the book, and isn’t that what really matters? Maybe a happy ending means getting to look back and see that whole book - letters, words, sentences, pages, chapters - and realize, “My god, that’s all real. That’s mine. My story is written across the cosmos, will always be written, has always been written… and it’s worth reading again.” Maybe if we could learn to think of our lives holistically, even if we aren’t currently aware of all the details, we’d be less afraid of the end. In some sense, you are always being born, and you are always dying - but you’re also always falling in love, eating chocolate, meeting your best friend, laughing so hard you pee a little, watching an excellent film for the first time, catching a butterfly, having a child, getting married - all the moments you’ve ever felt were good or important or right, are always part of the whole of Existence. It’s worth trying to fill your lifetime with excitement and love and good experiences.

The Eternal Problem: A Meditation on Mortality in Sherlock S4

When asked about S4 during the promotional lead-up, Moftiss repeatedly said this new series would be about one thing: consequences.  Now that we stand on the other side of S4, what do we think they meant?  It obviously wasn’t legal consequences for shooting Magnussen, or physical consequences of overdosing on drugs.   

In this meta, I argue that TAB and S4 are above all about the moral, metaphysical, and narrative consequences of Sherlock faking his death during the Reichenbach Fall—an act which continues to reverberate through the story two series later, both for the characters and, significantly, for the writers.

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Body Language (One Shot)

A/N: This was a request from @ihavetwobuckystomyname a very long time ago, and I’m super sorry that this took so long to write, hun! I hope you enjoy it! There’s a song that goes to this as well and it’s right here if you wanna listen!

Body Language - Reader and Bucky have been in a relationship for a while, and she’s ready to take the relationship to the next level. But Reader has a small problem: she’s deaf. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Deaf Reader 

Warnings: Smut. Language. Slight mentions of past neglect. Bucky being adorable. NSFW!

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mahenaz  asked:

So...... with lance being axel... does that mean he has a thing for keith? Cause we all know axel 100% has a thing for roxas.

I shall announce that AkuRoku is my biggest OTP. (I always call it “my OTP of OTPs”) and well yes I put Keith and Lance with a reason in those two characters C:<

Kingdom Heart AU

I guess it’s because you saw me as something soft and calm when I was coughing up blood and reciting suicide notes in my sleep, I thought you were something more than temporary when that was all you were
Because you pick flowers and put them in water while I crush them inbetween journal pages
I guess it’s because you were always humming and I always needed something to fill the silence, now all I fall asleep to is the faucet dripping because I realized nothing can fill this room like your voice
I guess it’s because you tasted better than
Newport Cigarettes while I was the coffee that made your hands shake
Because we were two poets in love with the idea of making eachother’s pain sound beautiful, that we forgot that the pain was just pain
I guess it’s because I loved so fast and so hard that I forgot to check if you were still in the passenger’s seat, and you forgot to wear the seatbelt
I guess it’s because I have to hold my breath around you because your scent is home and I am homesick for a place that burned down a long time ago
Because I still keep your love letters in my jean pockets to remind me that someone loved me at one point, even if you forgot
I guess it’s because I haven’t been able to smile at another boy without comparing them to your eyes or your smile or the way you made me feel safe when things got bad again
You were the first place I ever visited that made me want to come back and the first body I’ve ever fit so well with, now I’m just a puzzle piece mixed in with a different picture
You painted me into sunsets and rose fields and loved me so much I began to think maybe I didn’t have to hate myself forever
Because seasons change and feelings weather away and disappear somewhere inbetween crowded hallways and stale glances
I guess it’s because I can’t hold your hands so I dig mine so deep into my pockets my fingertips start to ache
Because we almost made it, we almost had it, almost almost almost
Maybe it’s because you are everything nice in the world while I am just smoke and white pills
Because I cut off my hair so maybe the hurt would go away and pretended I was not as lonely as I still am
I guess it’s because we realized the hurt was not pretty but I was willing to stay while you were halfway to another city
Because even though I was not your soul mate, you were mine and I will always love you more than I hate you, and I hate that

-R.J//Homesick for a Place That Never Existed// (via @boypoetic )

We tried to make it work. We fought all odds and tried to be together. I guess we were just two halves of a broken heart that didn’t fit together. This doesn’t mean that this has to be the end, though. Maybe we’ll meet again. We’ll meet as two whole hearts living, breathing and completely free. Maybe then it wouldn’t be so hard to love with our entire beings. Maybe then it wouldn’t be so scary. Maybe then it would work out for the better. Until then, I guess I have to build myself a whole heart and just wait. Wait to fall into your arms again. Until then, goodbye, my love.
—  Dream Soluna
Meet me in Montauk.
Sometimes we try so hard to forget people that they unintentionally etch into our minds forever.
When you spend a lot of time scrubbing out a stain, you’re bound to remember it’s shape.
It’s where the sea meets the sand, even though the sand has been there the whole time and it always will be and it never goes away.
Nestled under the lapping waves for an eternity, not unlike that of the smiles shared on that beach in late July when you thought you’d feel this way forever.
But by August first it was over.
And you began scrubbing the stains.
And so it goes.
It’s far enough from the gentle anarchy of piss soaked streets squeezed between the ebb and flow of skyscrapers.
And the ant people they told you you’d never fit in with.
But colonize me and call it home.
‘I don’t want you to fall in love with me.’
Even these words were music to your fifteen year old ears because you hadn’t the faintest clue what love was but you knew you loved them.
The worst part of it all is that we try so hard to forget people who never cleared space on their memory cards because they weren’t ready for us.
Sometimes we are not ready for ourselves.
Meet me in Montauk.
—  a poem inspired in part by eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, ‘montauk’ by sarah kay, and my own never ending desire to understand

Canon:

College:

Enemies to Lovers:

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anonymous asked:

I wanted to say that I love the posts you made about writing about siblings! Most of all when it comes to same gender siblings, very often in fiction I see the siblings having issues with each other or not getting along. Or the sibling is mostly absent during the story. I would love to see more of siblings being super close, I know some sets of sisters in my life who are super close like they are friends, and it is lovely to watchh. Why do authors tend to avoid close sibling relationships?

Thank you for your kind words! Siblings in stories are a huge passion for me, and close siblings in particular are relationships I want to see in more stories.

Unfortunately, the problem doesn’t stem from avoiding just close siblings but from avoiding close family as a whole. I don’t have any studies or papers examining the idea, no statistics I can report; what I do have are guesses based on observations and conversations with other writers about why they’re writing what they’re writing.

Myth: Main characters must have tragic backstories to be interesting.
Somehow, the idea that in order for a character to be interesting, their backstory has to be tragic has become an integral part to story-telling. Taking it one step further has been the growing idea that tragic = the loss of a person or persons close to them, and who closer than family? Family is an oasis of people who know where a character comes from and theoretically are hoping for the best for them. They’re the people who are supposed to accept a character entirely and are obligated to always love them. That loss writers are looking to capitalize on may be death, but it could also be those individuals rejecting the character, shredding that expectation of love. Having encountered plenty of folks in their own lives and others for whom those tenants and core qualities of family haven’t held up and the pain that comes from that, writers’ first thought when seeking out a tragic backstory often land in the alienation from or destruction of the character’s family. Destroying what may have been something happy for them creates tension and tragedy from which a character may find their drive for the story or send them to a state of being from which the writer wants to watch them grow. More to the point is that by destroying the family, the character’s background all of a sudden has a better ability to become fraught with mystery, the best, fastest way to make a character interesting.

What writers don’t take into account:
Writers must evaluate why they think their character has to have a tragic backstory. If it’s an interesting character they’re looking for–someone compelling that the audience is interested in getting to know–there are better, more compelling ways to do it than by destroying their family. If that’s is how a writer has chosen to hide the Family Secrets™, they perhaps need to rethink why that trope specifically is what their story hinges on and not on a thousand more believable reasons for the knowledge to be inaccessible. More importantly, writers must begin to realize that their character can still be tragic while retaining their family. Just because they’re close with their siblings doesn’t mean that the tragic thing that happened is negated by the joy they get out of being with, talking with, or in general interacting with their sibling. In fact, it might be an excellent relationship to use as a vehicle for the character’s growth.

Myth: Family members hold main characters back from their adventures.
Family is often thought of as this immovable stake in the ground of time and place. They are the constant in a character’s life, a place and people they can return to. They are the refuge, but also the people who have the character’s safety at heart. They’re more likely to ask characters not to go (for a variety of reasons including that the family needs their help at home, the family doesn’t want them to die, the family disagrees with the endeavor, etc.). Writers feel like if the character were close to their family, they might not actually get to participate in the story the writer has planned because they’d never leave those people behind or the family would never let them leave.

Additionally, family as a main character’s greatest weakness is absurdly common. They are the ones to be abducted or killed first by those looking to lure a character somewhere or inflict the most pain on a character or force a character to step their game up a notch. Because of this, writers remove family before the fray even happens, intending to strengthen their characters in the process and make them immovable themselves, unable to be coerced.

What writers don’t take into account:
Family doesn’t have to mean helpless. Give your familial characters some agency! Writing close siblings will actually give a character a huge strength in that they always know they have someone who has their back. If they let their sibling in on what’s going on and what they’re struggling with, that sibling has an opportunity to help. The idea that a character’s adventure and struggles must be kept secret from their family has fed into this–the “I don’t want to make them worry,” conundrum. It’s another situation that writers need to examine about their story and find out what’s stopping them from writing in these characters. If the answer is ever “because it’s easier,” the writer has a problem.

Myth: The power of friendship is not the same as the power of siblings.
The power of friendship and love triumphing over the powers of evil and hatred is a theme nearly every story perpetuates, whether the writer intends to or not. In the same way that humans create categories and hierarchies of what’s more important or more worthy, they’ve also managed to create the idea that the relationship between friends and the relationship between siblings doesn’t hold the same amount or type of power. Love conquers all, right? But familial love doesn’t count because it’s a requirement between family members–it comes with being family. It’s not as authentic or impressive or whatever as love grown between unrelated individuals (whether platonic or romantic) because it’s perceived as being a “gimme,” something they don’t have to work for.

What writers don’t take into account:
I’m not sure writers have really, and I mean really, evaluated how hard it is to maintain a relationship with one’s siblings, let alone keeping it a good one. Seriously. When you’re growing up, you see each other all the time! You know what bothers them, and it’s actually mildly amusing to push those buttons and see them struggle with the reaction they want to have and the one they’re allowed to have because you’re family. You see each other succeed and do absolutely amazing things; you see what each other is capable of, but you also see them mess up and it’s easier to hold the grudge against them for it because they should have known better. As we become adults and move out on our own, ideas about what’s right and okay are expanded past what the family rules were, but those rules still linger and tinge our perceptions, even of each other, and maybe a style of living a sibling has grates on your nerves because that’s not how we were raised or whatever. Our schedules become so full that communication falls by the wayside and suddenly, five years down the line, you realize that this person you used to talk to all the time is a total stranger. Keeping that love and affection between siblings is hard work and it should never ever, ever be taken for granted. Unfortunately, it is. All the time.

Myth: Close siblings don’t have conflict and are therefore uninteresting.
Story is conflict, right? Events are happening that characters have to deal with, people with different ideas about right and wrong are blocking the way, friends are making dumb decisions, and family has chosen to never own up to the problem that runs in their veins. Writers have come under the assumption that close relationships that are healthy and benefit both characters can’t contribute to or create conflict and therefore are dead weight in the story. And no dead weight can survive to the final draft.

What writers don’t take into account:
Who says people in close relationships can’t have conflict? Who says siblings who love and support each other can’t support each other right into a bad plan? Who says close siblings can’t make dumb decisions? These are two separate characters who happen to have grown up together, which also means that while they can love and support each other, they can also see the flaws and dangerous leaps of logic they each make more easily than other people. They have plenty to contribute to conflict, including coming into conflict with each other. “Close” does not mean “perfect relationship.”


I’m sure there are other reasons, too, such as not having any experience and therefore not really thinking about it or not feeling confident in portraying that kind of relationship with accuracy. I think the biggest thing writers need to do is ask themselves why they think they couldn’t have a sibling in their story and evaluate their own reasons to see what’s holding them back. Understanding our excuses can help us better address them and face new challenges head on.

I hope this has given you some insight into the issue, Anon. Good luck! -Pear