we all know this is for dai

harry’s just a gigantic dork who loves babies to the point where at age 17 he was ready to help a fake-pregnant woman give birth like a proper midwife and doesn’t know where exits are and swears a lot more than people make him out to and trips over kiwis and more often his own two 12-toed feet and eats random oranges out of elevators while wearing whatever flashy suit or floral shirt or soccer mum sweatpants peak his interest for the day which he spends aggressively spreading love and attempting to play the kazoo he isn’t a “sex symbol” he’s a massive goober that we all love and adore even if he most likely hails from outer space

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Please don’t hurt yourself today. 

I wanted to write this letter for quite a long time now as I know that some of you struggle with self-harm and that’s not something I want to be aware of and simply ignore. You deserve better than that. 

And yet I struggle to find the right words to write to you. Words that comfort you, words that take away your pain, words that give you hope. Because that is what you deserve. 

Yes, I could easily write a letter full of overused phrases. I could tell you that “self-harm won’t solve any problems” - but I know that you already know that. I know that you’re not stupid. You don’t really believe that it’ll fix anything and I don’t want to belittle you by acting as if a “Self-harm doesn’t fix your problems” would really be breaking news to you. 

I could throw some generalized positivity in, like “All of you are beautiful and loved”, but I know that, especially when you struggle with low confidence or mental health issues, it is too easy to read that, nod and think “Yes, everyone but me”. 

You and me, we both know there is no magic sentence I could tell you that would guarantee that you stop harming yourself. If there was such a thing, it would probably get thrown into every single booklet, article and tumblr post about self-harm - and would lose its magic by overuse.  

That magic, that little spark that will make you say “I will not hurt myself today” - one day at a time - that will never come from me. That will come from you. And I know I can say will rather than would here. Because just as I fully know how hard it is, I fully know how strong you are. I know that you’re alive while you read this and that means you made it to this day - dragged yourself to this day, maybe, with bruises and a broken heart but you made it. You survived. 

And when I know that you survived every battle you faced so far, every single hardship life threw at you, then it really doesn’t need much positive thinking to believe in you. 

Please don’t hurt yourself today. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

[All of this happened because I wanted to write something about Stiles not being able to sleep without his pillow. Spoiler alert: his pillow is Derek.]


Derek tries not to look too hurt when Stiles says he’s going back to Washington, but when the Sheriff claps his back and Scott offers him a friendly hug, he knows he failed. But after everything, after the other night - it just doesn’t feel fair.


“It was a nice road trip, wasn’t it?” Stiles had said after they’ve won, after everything was done, their friends were alive and fine and Derek finally got his loft back. “I mean, we had some fun, right?”

Derek smiled without looking away from the flowers the Sheriff got him as a housewarming gift. “Yeah.” He answered, finally turning around. “It was nice to spend time with you.” It was more than nice and he cursed himself for not being able to say it, still, after everything, after the nights spent driving and talking and fucking in deserted roads.

“Yeah.” Stiles agreed easily. He was the one who started it after all, always showing up to save Derek - despite Derek saving him back plenty of times - always being there, trusting him, smiling and laughing like Derek makes him happy. “What will you do now that you’re a free man again?”

Derek shrugged. “I always wanted to start a farm, maybe raise some sheep?” When Stiles blinked at him, surprised, Derek let out a snort.

“Fuck you, I almost believed it!” Stiles said, punching his shoulder.

“You’re ridiculous.” Derek shook his head, still smiling. 

You’re ridiculous.” Stiles stressed, his hand still on Derek’s shoulder, touching, teasing. “I’m -“ Derek didn’t let him finish then, turning around and just pressing their lips together.

He didn’t want to listen then - and in hindsight maybe he should’ve - but without the haste, the guilt of having a nice time whilst their friends could be dying, Derek couldn’t wait, he just wanted to worship Stiles’ body, just wanted to kiss all the places he couldn’t reach before when they were squeezed in the backseat of Stiles’ car. 

And so he did, he made Stiles moan his name the entire night and he moaned Stiles’ own just as louder. Just to have his heart crushed the morning after.


“I’m gonna miss you.” Stiles says, his Jeep packed and ready to go. To leave everything behind.

It’s unfair, Derek knows. Stiles didn’t make promises and neither did he, but he can’t help how he feels. He understands Stiles doesn’t want to be in Beacon Hills anymore and that’s his choice, but Derek made his own and he’s tired of running away.

He’s never felt closer to his family than when he’s here, he’s already lost enough and he doesn’t want to lose his home. But somehow, as Stiles drives away, he feels like he just did.


I miss you, Derek thinks every day, staring at the black screen of his phone and wondering if he should actually write those words and send them to Stiles. He decides against it and despite the fact he was joking before, on the third day after Stiles left, Derek buys a farm.

He tells Lydia first during lunch at her favorite restaurant - she was adamant they had to become best friends and Derek enjoys her company so he lets it happen easily - and she tells him he’s not allowed to wear plaid around her. Then he tells Scott and two days later, he shows up at Derek’s front door with all kinds of seeds - “We need pumpkins for Halloween, Derek. Make it happen!”.

It’s something to do with his hands, something to work on. Create life, instead of ending them, build things, instead of destroying. He feels good, better and healing. Cora says he’s calmer now and Derek smiles, despite knowing she won’t be able to see him, and tells her he is.

Some days Stiles texts him, others he doesn’t. Derek reads the ones he has every night before going to bed, but he never answers them.

Keep reading

HEADCANON TIME:  In the MCU it’s long been impossible for Loki to be Hela’s father (and it’s not true in the comics, either), we can handwave a lot away by, oh, comics like to do that thing where Asgardian magical villains like to wear green because, hey, that’s true.


Things we know:
- Approximately a thousand years ago is when Odin battled against Jotunheim and brought baby Loki home, after he was abandoned.  Thor never knew that Loki was adopted, so he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this, which would also put his birth at about a thousand years ago.  (Give or take a bit.)
- Hela and Odin’s conquering ways were at some point between 5,000 years ago (the last Convergence when Bor was still king) and 1,000 years ago (when Odin went to war against Jotunheim for their invasion of Midgard), her banishment likely closer to the 1,000 years ago point.
- Hela said, when talking to Thor, about Odin’s change of heart, “And then, one day, he decided to become a benevolent king, foster peace, to protect life.  To have… you.“
- Laufey was shown in the mural as an important peace treaty, the only one we know.  Most likely a reference to the first movie (because this movie was all about references to previous movies) but bear with me.
- Laufey’s talk with Loki has a strong undercurrent of him waiting to see where this goes, that he says it was his decision to leave baby Loki out on the rock, but he is very clearly trying to play along with this to see what he can get out of it. I don’t trust anything he says in that conversation.
- Odin is the one who says that the baby he found was Laufey’s son, but we don’t know how he knows this.

What if one of the realms that Hela conquered last was Jotunheim, brutally savaging their civilization and so Odin felt responsible, that it was important to make a peace treaty with them, even after they invaded the far weaker Midgard, because of what Hela had done to them.

Hela, while there, took a war prize of their king, whether because she was in the mood or as a way to humiliate him because he was weak and she wanted to show that.  And became pregnant with a half-Jotunn baby, maybe she wanted to see where this would go, what kind of monster she could birth, like her beloved Fenris, maybe one who had magical powers like her.

But the baby only half as strong because he was also half of this pathetic race, so she left the baby out in the cold, let Laufey do what he would or wouldn’t with it.

Instead, Odin found the baby, who recognized the touch of an As, who shifted to As form that looked just like his mother’s form.

It was no surprise to fate then, though no one else knew, that the baby would grow up with inky black hair and a talent for magic and favored black and green, along with a fondness for chaos and mischief.

lance, vlogging: hey guys, it’s almost one in the morning. it’s day eleven of No Nut November, and i’m not gonna lie to you, morale is pretty low. don’t know how much longer i can go on. was just on instagram scrolling through my feed, saw a bunch of photos of keith so uh…….. yeah that didn’t help at all. (rubs the bags under his eyes) it’s very hard but… (sighs) we gotta stay strong.

anonymous asked:

Stupid commercial music better than the Beatles? No hope for humanity

hello i hope everyone had a great day except for this person who implied that the beatles are superior to aly & aj which, as we all know, is a blatant lie

anonymous asked:

have you considered that some people like him as an actor though? like his movies not his personality

We can’t really separate his work from his life though.

At the end of the day, any praise we might give him as an actor is praise that goes to an abuser. Same with any and all of the Hollywood sex criminals. I’m not okay with praising someone because they made something good while being wilfully blind to what they did in their personal life, especially if that person is alive and money that goes to their creative works will also go to them.

People might like him as an actor; that’s their prerogative. I can’t in good conscience praise him knowing what he has done.

A Bit of Madness (pt. 6)

Part 5

Will takes off the silly hat and glasses as Damien brushes past the Detective, and the two of them collide in a giggling, crying embrace. Neither of them can believe it, that they’re both here together again, and neither of them have the words to make up for the nearly hundred years’ worth of time they’ve spent apart. “It can’t be you. It can’t,” Will sobs into Damien’s shoulder.

Damien shakes his head and rubs circles into Wilford’s back slowly. “I don’t know either, but I’m here. I promise it’s me, old friend.” Over Will’s shoulder, Damien and Dark make eye contact, and Celine stands.

Dark’s chest is heaving, and his shell is slowly cracking, ready to shatter, as he backs up slowly. “I don’t understand. I thought that what was left of you two was somewhere in me.” He shakes his head as his aura clouds darker and thicker around him, but Celine holds up a hand as if to calm him. And with a few breaths, the storm going on around him seems to still.

“I know that you’re confused, but so are we.” She looks to Damien who is still holding a shaking Wilford and sighs. “For so many years, all we knew was what we saw through your eyes.” She steps closer until she can put her hand on Dark’s cheek. “Then one day we woke up here, alive with a new energy that I’ve never felt before.” Celine’s eyes search Dark’s. “I was hoping you’d come. We both were.”

Damien swallows the lump in his throat and nods. “We’re so sorry, Dark. All that we put you through for this senseless attempt at revenge, but it’s like we weren’t ourselves when we were in your head.”

Celine brushes the tears away that have fallen from Dark’s eyes. “We’re so proud of how far you’ve come, Dark, how you fought back so hard against the darkness.”

Dark shakes his head and closes his eyes so he won’t have to look at them anymore. “You’re not real. You’re not. This is just the House trying to hurt us again. I know it.”

Celine draws back, and she and Damien share another weighted glance. Google steps forward. “May I submit the theory that you two might very well be figments now?” Wilford and Dark both look up as Google continues. “It is very likely that the attention and creative energy of the fans is what caused you to be whole again. Though it seems,” Google says, noting the subtle red aura that Celine is emitting, “that the three of you are still somehow connected.”

Amy bites her lip and frowns. “But what about Mark? Where is he?”

“Why I’m right here, darling,” Mark, dressed in a silk robe, appears from behind Amy and takes her hand, pressing it to his lips.

Amy takes back her hand quickly and glares at him. “You…”

“Please, call me Markiplier.” He smirks and winks at her before turning to the others. “Welcome, welcome my dear friends. It has been so long since we’ve gathered here together. This is truly a glorious evening.”

Damien points an accusing finger at him. “You’re the cause of all this. You trapped me and Celine and drove the Colonel mad.” As he shouts, a flickering blue aura appears around him, and he storms towards Markiplier. “You were my friend, my brother, and look what’s become of us as a result of your anger!”

Markiplier puts up his hands with an easy smile, eyes entranced by the blue glow. “No need to be so bombastic, dear Damien. I’ve brought you all here to mend our broken bonds. Why else would I welcome you to my manor once again?”

Dark’s aura flickers around him as he begins to regain his composure. “I don’t know,” he growls. “I was thinking maybe you had a death wish.”

Markiplier smirks and glares at Dark. “It wouldn’t be the first time, and it worked out so well for me then.”

Dark surges forward, ready to strike, but Celine steps between them. “Enough of this.” She glares at Markiplier with cold cutting eyes that Amy has seen Dark use a thousand times. “Where is the other Mark?”

“So quick to cut the chase as always, Celine.” Markiplier reaches to stroke her cheek, but Celine smacks his hand away with another cold glare. Markiplier turns to Amy instead, a deep chuckle rumbling in his chest.

“Well, I have no fortunate lightning storm or convenient murder to keep you all here this time, so I thought a hostage situation might be in order. Stay the night here with me and celebrate this momentous occasion, and I will return your Mark to you. Leave a moment before I say,” he gestures to the manor around them, “and I’ll let the darkness have him.”

The Detective takes a step closer to Markiplier with a calculating look. “What exactly is the occasion?”

A creaking noise is heard from deep inside the house, as if each wall and every piece of furniture is leaning in as he says, “The dawn of a new era, of course.”

Race Track Higgins’ speech at the rally

The following is a transcript of the speech given by Race Track Higgins at the strikers’ rally on July 24, 1899, as pieced together from articles in the New York Times, New York Tribune, and New York Sun.

There’s 2,000 of us here from Brooklyn tonight, but I think most of the gang got shut out¹. Never mind, though: we’re with the New York boys and we’re going to stick with them to the end.

Say, we’ve been carrying overweight long enough, and it’s just about time we was getting some of the odds in the betting. There was a 75 to 1 shot that we was going to win this here fight. And we can do it hands down and no whipping if we keep our eyes skinned, and when the newsboys comes in first under the wire some of them guys sitting in the grandstand with shiny kicks and electric lights on their fronts will wish they had gone to the trouble to do a little arbitrating.

But I want to tell you about that Chief Devery. We took up a collection last night and got enough money to hire a band to lead us over here. I went up to Chief Devery today to get a permit, and I says, just as polite as I knows how: “Mr. Devery, I wants to get a permit, please, to have a brass band lead my Brooklyn men to the meeting tonight.” And what do you think he said? He says: “Get out, you slobs.” and I says, “Mr. Devery, don’t call me a slob. I’m trying to make my living. I ain’t so high in office as you, but some day I may be higher.” But he wouldn’t give up the permit, so we had to leave the band home.

I can only say to you, boys, to stand firm, and I bet we’ll win before Dewey comes home.

[No direct transcript exists of this portion of the speech, but he says that the Journal offered to pay a boy $2 a day to sell their papers, but] the kid wouldn’t take it because the Journal refused to contract to pay hospital expenses.

Say, we struck six of those $2-a-day World and Journal fellows in front of Dennett’s in Brooklyn this afternoon—you know Sinker Dennett’s place—and we shamed them into giving up their jobs. They took their Journals back to Barber Clark and said they wasn’t going to help any paper do up a lot of boys. Now, wasn’t that square?


I think we’ll win this fight all right. I ain’t made 20 cents this week, but I can stand a heap of that and so can all the Brooklyn boys. Don’t you touch Worlds or Journals until they give us a decent deal. We’re putting them out of business fast and they know it.

¹ The theatre was too full for all the boys to get in. A few thousand of them had to stand outside on the street.


DAY 13

“Hey Mirio. I don’t know if you can hear me, but the doctors say that talking can help, so here goes.

Do you remember the day we first met? 

I had just transferred from another school so I didn’t know anyone. I felt so scared and alone.

But then you came, with that big smile of yours. 

You asked me who my favorite Hero was and if I wanted to be friends.

I said ‘Yes’.

 It was the best decision I ever made. Because… none of the amazing things that happened to me in the last 10 years would’ve happened if not for you.

I…I need you Mirio. We all do. 

So please… just wake up!”


(18th November!) first of all i just want to say a big thank you to all of those who has been there for since day 1 and watching me grow, it means a lot to me! next to all of the wonderful friends i’ve made and met throughout this one year, i hope you all know that you are loved and appreciate by me everyday and that your existence means everything to me 💖 to my followers who never fail to make my day with sweet compliments/words and being patient with me even if i take ages to respond to asks/requests, thank you for not giving up on me and supporting me throughout this whole journey, hope you all stay healthy and happy everyday!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can Doc help his glitchy son get better?

Anti wakes late the next afternoon and sits up in bed. He hisses slightly when the IV in his arm tugs at an odd angle, and he snatches it out, getting up and going over to the window as the setting sunlight washes across his cheeks. He’s unsteady on his feet, tired even though he’s been out for nearly a day.

“I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever wake up, sleepy head.” Anti turns to see Doc standing in the doorway smiling and crossing his arms over his chest. “How do you feel? Like crap, I bet.”

“Yer not wrong,” Anti says with a light chuckle. “What happened?”

“You didn’t eat for a day. Normally that wouldn’t be so bad, but for you…” Dr. Iplier scratches his head. “Do you know how many calories you need to consume in a day to stay healthy? Because it’s enough for two people of your size.”

Anti shrugs and bounces on his toes. “I’m a bouncing baby boy, gotta eat a whole lot to keep up.”

Doc chuckles and jerks his head towards the exit. “Why don’t we get you something real to eat?”

“Wait, Doc, who brought me in?” Anti glitches a little guiltily.

“Green found you. He let the others know.” Dr. Iplier smiles. “Those four have been in and out of here all day long. Even Blue, don’t let him fool you.”

Anti balls his hands into fists. “‘m a nuisance. Always making them worry. Just like at the cabin…”

Dr. Iplier shakes his head. “Anti, they don’t see it that way. They want to help you, and believe me, they don’t do this sort of thing for just anyone.” He brushes a hand through his hair and sighs. “None of the rest of us have ever been able to really understand them. Ollie is kind enough, always wanting to be helpful, but the others are so hard to reach. They keep to themselves, to their own floor all the time. When you came here to stay, you changed all that.”

“I still feel useless half the time,” Anti says, voice layered with static.

Doc shakes his head knowingly. “I have a feeling you’ll figure out a purpose, Anti. Just give yourself time.”

Anti looks up at the Doctor again and nods. “Thanks, Doc. You always know what to say.”

Dr. Iplier shrugs. “It’s what I do. Now come on, kid. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” Anti giggles and nods his head.

“Can we get a pizza?”

“How about two?”


Okay another week without Michonne and by extension a lack of Richonne. It’s long and it’s frustrating and annoying.

Gimple and the authors are playing with our nerves right now (ok Danai’s schedule did not help but still).

But hey! Did not we wait until season 6 for Richonne to become a thing? Patience is in our Richonner DNA! What weeks when we waited years to reach this:

Ok wrong gif but I just wanted to see Rick half naked.

I meant to reach this:

We can do it, we can survive ! And as usual with these 2, it will be worth the wait! After all Richonne never disappointed us! It’s the war, and they’ll have to face their own demons, question their morality, make terrible decisions … They’ll doubt, they’ll get mad, they’ll make mistakes, they’ll be sad, angry, desperate, frustrated, disagree! They’re probably going to need each other, probably rejected each other, probably save each other. And all that will give us as usual epic scenes played by two great actors!!!

In a few weeks, we will forget those terrible days of nothing, the tag will be flooded with gifs, photos and videos of all kinds and we will dissect every moment, every look, every contact, every word of these lovers.

For now, I’m glad that the authors remember that Rick is the main character of this show (fact they had forgotten in season 7).

I miss my queen but I know … ok I think … ok I hope Michonne will shine the rest of the season. After all, Danai attracts light when she is on the screen, I guess she has to leave some for others.

Originally posted by lawyermichonne

So I would be patient, the road is long but I know I would be rewarded!!

Originally posted by cake-by-thepound

Originally posted by fuckyeahsavagesistas

Supergirl's Alex Details Role in Arrowverse Crossover Crisis on Earth-X
Supergirl's Chyler Leigh discussed her involvement in the crossover, the other characters she got to meet, the atmosphere on set and more.

Alex Danvers will make the jump to Earth-1 for Barry and Iris’ wedding in the Arrowverse crossover “Crisis on Earth-X.” Unfortunately, her trip won’t go quite as smoothly as expected when villains from Earth-X crash the party. During a set visit, Alex actor Chyler Leigh discussed her involvement in the four-show crossover, the other Arrowverse characters she got to meet, the atmosphere on set and more.

“Oh, I’m all over it! Every day, 14-hour camera days, every single day for three and a half weeks. Yes, I was there every day,” she revealed.

“We were the only two [from Supergirl] really that went over in the crossover. It was just primarily the both of us,” she explained. “Went there for Barry and Iris’ wedding. That was whole point for going there, the catalyst behind it. It’s comic book that nothing is ever peachy and easy. Disaster ensues. It’s everybody banding together and figuring out strengths, weaknesses. You have all these minds in one place, and all these superpowers in one place, all these costumes in one place. I was like, ‘I’m really glad that I have a DEO outfit. Like I’m super stoked about this.‘”

“You have all of this in one area… Actually, we joked a lot about it because there are a few scenes where you see everybody together. It looked like a high school reunion, where it’s like we’re all standing, just like, ‘This is really funny. What do we do for a living?'” she added with a laugh.

“With Alex and Kara, it is very much a duke-it-out, like, ‘We’re here together. We’re in this.’ At certain moments, we’re fighting for each other, fighting to get to each other and fighting together,” she teased. “You really get to see a lot of sides of everybody, and sides that you wouldn’t expect.”

“It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of work and exhausting, but it was a lot of fun,” she shared. “We all had a really great time together. The biggest thing about it is that when you’re working that much, and you’re working that hard, and you have such little time, it’s basically making like a huge feature in three weeks, and so, it was ridiculous. But you put it all together, and you just go, ‘Wow.’ What we accomplished, I’m very proud of. I’m really curious to see it what it looks like all put together. There were days where we would shoot on three shows in one day and just shuttle between, and it’s like, ‘I don’t remember anybody’s name.’ This is my first crossover, so I didn’t know anybody.”

“But at the same time, you start to see people working up in Vancouver that I worked with 10 years ago,” she continued. “Crew members just kind of going high-fives, walking around, saying, ‘Hey, how’s it going? This is great!’ All around, it was a great experience. We all knew that we were in the thick of it together. Everybody kept as highest spirits as you can when you’re tired. But we all just had fun and laughed as much as we could and just enjoyed the experience, because how could you not?”

Leigh also offered a hint about who Alex gets to interact with in the crossover. “A lot of the moments that she had are with Oliver and Barry and Sara and a lot of the Legends cast,” she said. “That was a big part of that duo, everybody there. That was kind of the biggest part of it.”

This year’s four-part crossover will air across two nights, beginning Monday, November 27, with Supergirl and Arrow (on a special night for one week only), and concluding Tuesday, November 28, with The Flash and Legends of Tomorrow.

EXO Reaction to their girlfriend always taking pictures in secret of them

Xoxo, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


“So…. all this time… you’ve been taking pictures of me? No no… I’m not mad… I just hope I look good in them… I mean of course I do… look at me” *This boi*


*He actually finds it very cute* “Well aren’t you adorable? You never stop to amaze me babe… You are girlfriend goals”


“Taking pictures of special moments hm? Well I guess we need to make more special memories so you can take pictures of them, what do you think? I love spending time with you”


“Funny how I actually do the same with you… I guess we are really meant to be” *And don’t worry, if you ever miss a chance to take a pic, he’ll probably take it*


“Oh… taking pics again? What do you think of this pose hm?” *He’d start posing for you every time he sees you with you phone*


“Please tell me you aren’t exchanging pictures with my mom… please… I don’t want you to see those embarrassing pictures of when I was a kid..”


“Aigoo jagi! You are recording again? You should have told me before so I could look more presentable… I just woke up… fine fine.. I’ll blow you a kiss, but just for you okay?” *Gets mushy when he knows you are recording or something*


“Well.. I actually have a whole archive dedicated to you… us… funny how we’ve been doing the same this whole time and hadn’t realize earlier”


“Been taking pictures you say? … In secret… when I’m not aware of it… just.. don’t.. don’t show them to Baekhyun.. don’t give me blackmail material please…” *Really worried here*


“You are taking a picture again aren’t you? Fine fine… I’ll smile for you” But come here, let’s take it together” *It’s impossible for him to not notice*


*Blushing so hard* “I’m actually flattered baobei… I can’t believe you dedicate so much time to me.. to us… I want to see them one day, remember all those times with you”


*Is actually used to it* “You know.. I was thinking… we should make a blog about us… that way those pictures and videos can been seen by everyone… it would be cool, don’t you think?”

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

Patrick: Urgh! Pathetic! Its been 1 month since the incident on Dirdum Lane and he’s been doing nothing but mope around since!

Patrick: Weak! I don’t understand how he’s our quote on quote, LEADER! I would make a better leader! I’m loyal, intelligent and direct!

Patrick: Paul, its time things change. He’s been sitting on that chair for 3 days straight!

Paul: Well what do you want me to do?

Patrick: Were LEAVING, Paul! Go up to him and tell a lie! But little does he know were ditching do get married.

Paul: Geez, babe, that seems really mean…

Patrick: I don’t wanna hear it, Paul! Its happiness or being stuck with this Debby Downer for life!

Paul: EHEHEHEH…. Hey… Tord.


Paul: Me and Pat have been thinking off not sticking around for much longer…

Tord: You’re…. You’re leaving me? Everyone is leaving me…

Paul: AHAHAHAH NO NO NO! Not at all!!! We just ran out of milk! And we all know how cranky Patrick gets when there’s no milk in his coffee, am i right???

Patrick: GET. TO. THE. POINT.

Paul: Right, right! Uhhh no need to worry, boss. Were just going to get Pat’s milk and we’ll be back ASAP! We totally aren’t ditching you or anything because you’re stinky and haven’t showered in a month! And we totally aren’t leaving to get married either! Me and Patrick are loyal, sir!

Tord: Thank you, Paul and Patrick. I know I can always count on you guys. :)

Paul: YEP! For life! See ya later!


Paul: Do you think we did the right thing, Patrick. I feel like we could of at least have been honest. We didn’t have to lie…

Patrick: This is for the better! I knew things were getting worse and worse around here. It was time we leave once and for all! Let Tord rot! Besides, the police would of found us sooner or later and I don’t want to get arrested!

Paul: You have a point… We had good times at the base, though… Goodbye Tord.

Patrick: Come on, drive!

And after 3 days have passed, I realized they were never coming back.

Another tomstar rant because I can

I’ve seen a lot of people say that Star doesn’t really love Tom or the he’s a rebound and people even saying the Star is turning Tom into a “replacement Marco”. Now, I honestly think people are forgetting that these two kiddos have a history together. This isn’t the same as when star forced herself to talk to Oscar to forget Marco. This is Star rebuilding a relationship with someone she obviously still cared about despite the bad breakup. She didn’t just jump into this relationship with Tom, she became friends with him again and then they both slipped back into what they were familiar with. Each episode has a time skip in between them too, meaning that it didn’t happen over the course of a few days. Plus, it’s not as if these feelings magically appeared again. For all we know those feelings they had for each other never died (obviously not on tom’s part) and instead lingered while they did their own thing. The reason they broke up in the first place is because Star couldn’t take tom’s anger. Not because she stopped loving him. It just confuses me that people think Tom’s a rebound when he really isn’t. That’s just my opinion on things though.

A Conversation with My Dogs

It is late afternoon. Seated at my desk, I call for my dogs to join me in my office. They do.

Me: The reason I’ve summoned you here today is I really think we should talk about something.
Bob: What’s that?
Me: Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I get the feeling you guys think you have to follow me everywhere and I just want you both to know that you don’t.
Stan: Where would you get a feeling like that?
Me: I get it from the fact that the both of you follow me everywhere all day long. Like for instance, this morning. We were all together in the bedroom? Why do you both look blank? Doesn’t this ring a bell at all? I was on the bed reading the paper…
Bob: Where was I?
Me: On the floor sleeping.
Bob: On the floor sleepi…? Oh, yes. Right. I remember that. Go on.
Me: So, there came a point where I had to get up and go into the next room to get a Kleenex. And you both woke up out of a deep sleep to go with me.
Stan: Yes. So? What’s the problem?
Bob: We like to watch you get Kleenex. We happen to think it’s something you do very well.
Me: The point I’m trying to make is why do you both have to get up out of a deep sleep to go with me. You sit there staring at me, all excited, like you think something really good is going to happen. I feel a lot of pressure to be more entertaining.
Bob: Would it help if we stood?
Stan: I think what the lady is saying is that where Kleenex retrieval is concerned, she’d just as soon we not make the trip.
Bob: Is that true?
Me: Yes. It is.
Bob (deeply hurt): Oh, man.
Stan: Don’t let her get to you, buddy.
Bob: I know I shouldn’t. But it all comes as such a shock.
Me: I think you may be taking this wrong. It’s not that I don’t like your company. It’s just that I see no reason for you both to follow me every time I get up.
Bob: What if just one of us goes?
Stan: And I don’t suppose that “one of us” would be you?
Me: Neither of you needs to go.
Bob: Okay. Fine. No problem. Get your damn Kleenex alone from now on.
Me: Good.
Bob: I’m just curious. What’s your position on pens?
Me: Pens?
Bob: Yes. How many of us can wake up out of a deep sleep to watch you look for a pen?
Me: Why would either of you want to wake up out of a deep sleep to follow me around while I’m looking for a pen?
Stan: Is she serious?
Bob: I can’t tell. She has such a weird sense of humor.
Me: Let’s just level with each other, okay? The real reason you both follow me every place I go is that you secretly believe there might be food involved. Isn’t that true? Isn’t that the real reason for the show of enthusiasm?
Stan: Very nice talk.
Bob: The woman has got some mouth on her.
Me: You mean you deny that every time you follow me out of the room it’s actually because you think we’re stopping for snacks?
Bob: Absolutely false. That is a bald-faced lie. We do it for the life experience. Period.
Stan: And sometimes I think it might work into a game of ball.
Bob: But we certainly don’t expect anything.
Stan: We’re way past expecting anything of you. We wouldn’t want you to overexert yourself in any way. You have to rest and save up all your strength for all that Kleenex fetching.
Bob: Plus we know it doesn’t concern you in the least that we’re both starving to death.
Stan: We consume on the average about a third of the calories eaten daily by the typical wasted South American street dog.
Me: One bowl of food a day is what the vet said I should give you. No more.
Bob: One bowl of food is a joke. It’s an hors d’oeuvre. It does nothing but whet my appetite.
Me: Last summer, before I cut your food down, you were the size and shape of a hassock.
Bob: Who is she talking to?
Stan: You, pal. You looked like a beanbag chair, buddy.
Bob: But it was not from overeating. In summer, I retain fluids, that’s all. I was in very good shape.
Stan: For a hippo. I saw you play ball back then. Nice energy. For a dead guy.
Bob: Don’t talk to me about energy. Who single-handedly ate his way through the back fence? Not just once but on four separate occasions?
Me: So you’re the one who did that?
Bob: One who did what?
Me: Ate through the back fence.
Bob: Is there something wrong with the back fence? I have no idea what happened. Whoever said that is a liar.
Stan: The fact remains that we are starving all day long and you continually torture us by eating right in front of us.
Bob: Very nice manners, by the way.
Me: You have the nerve to discuss my manners? Who drinks out of the toilet and then comes up and kisses me on the face?
Bob: That would be Dave.
Me: No. That would be you. And while we’re on the subject of manners, who keeps trying to crawl into the refrigerator? Who always has mud on their tongue?
Stan: Well, that would be Dave.
Me: Okay. That would be Dave. But the point I’m trying to make is that where manners are concerned, let’s just say that you don’t catch me trying to stick my head in your dinner.
Bob: Well, that may be more a function of menu than anything else.
Me: Which brings me right back to my original point. The two of you do not have to wake up and offer me fake camaraderie now that you understand that once a day is all you’re ever going to be fed. Period. Non-negotiable. For the rest of your natural lives. And if I want to play ball, I’ll say so. End of sentence.
Stan: Well, I see that the nature of these talks has completely broken down.
Bob: I gotta tell you, it hurts.
Me: There’s no reason to have hurt feelings.
Stan: Fine. Whatever you say.
Bob: I just don’t give a damn anymore. I’m beyond that, quite frankly. Get your own Kleenex, for all I care.
Stan: I feel the same way. Let her go get all the Kleenex and pens she wants. I couldn’t care less.
Me: Excellent. Well, I hope we understand each other now.
Bob: We do. Why’d you get up? Where are you going?
Me: Into the next room.
Stan: Oh. Mm hmm. I see. And why is that?
Me: To get my purse.
Stan: Hey, fatso, out of my way.
Bob: Watch out, asshole. I was first.
Stan: The hell you were. I was first.
Bob: Fuck you. We’re getting her purse, I go first. I’m starving.
Stan: You don’t listen at all, do you. Going for pens means food. She said she’s getting her purse. That means ball.

— Merrill Markoe, What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I’ve Learned (1992)