we accept the love we think

before reading this

Remember that it’s just my opinion, and that i acknowledge not being some sort of god, i admit i could be wrong, and i don’t mean to insult anyone saying this
I just read a post targeted towards fat girls talking about bad experiences caused by being fat, and um this made me think… like i know we should all accept ourselves as we are and all but, if you feel that bad being fat, you can lose weight. Don’t leave, just hear me out:
I’m not saying the way society says fat=ugly is fair, or should be encouraged, but you also don’t have to stay like this just because tumblr says “love your body”. If you feel uncomfortable looking the way you look, you should change. Losing weight is not a big deal, it’s not permanent, and it doesn’t have to cost anything. You wouldn’t be conforming to society or whatever, you would be doing this for yourself.
This is coming from someone who used to be chubby, so please don’t tell me “i don’t understand”, because i do. I used to feel really bad in my own body, and even after losing weight it took a while for me to be proud and happy with the way i look, but losing weight definitely helped. Detail: no one ever insulted me for being chubby. I know people saw me as chubby, i’ve had a few remarks but none of them meant to be insulting. I didn’t feel uncomfortable because of society or whatever, i didn’t lose weight to “””fit in”””, i lost weight so i could look at myself and tell myself i’m pretty. This being said, if you’re chubby and you look at yourself and you find yourself pretty, that’s fantastic! That’s great, really! I’m happy for you. But i don’t think everyone can accept themselves like this.

I don't cry, but sense8 hits me real hard. It hits that exact spot that makes me want to bawl... Cause it hits so close to home. There's this longing in my heart, to connect. To inspire. To be something. I've got this need to be loved, to be accepted. Don't we deserve that? Don't I deserve that? I like to believe I do. We all do. And when I watch sense8, it creates something inside me. Something that has to know, who am I? And I don't mean what we see; I don't mean, how do I interact with others. I don't mean what do you think of me. I mean, to myself, am I good? Am I strong? Am I brave? Am I gentle? Am I kind? Am I thoughtful? And I like to think I am all of these things, these good things I strive to be. I imagine myself, out in the world. And I like to think I'll make it better, not worse. And when I watch sense8, it gives me hope. It inspires me to be the best, purest, most truthful form of myself. And this show means so much to me BECAUSE of that inspiration, that connection, that feeling of hope that I'm not just alone in this world and that there's people who would fight for me, who would cry with me, who would love me unconditonally just because I am me. And there's nothing more uplifting than that kind if hope.

PRIDE

(alt. title: I’ll Rub My Queer Little Hands on Everything You Love)

You ask why we need pride.

You ask why we celebrate.

You ask why we can’t keep our identities to ourselves

Like we should stay hidden,

Like we should be ashamed.

You ask why we should be proud

Because you only accept us when you think we have no choice,

But you know what?

I’d chose this.

Because I am proud.

And I’m not proud just because otherwise the world would make me hate us,

Even though that’s true,

I’m proud because we are a people to be proud of!

I’m proud because we are survivors.

I’m proud because no matter where you look,

And no matter how hard you fight to hide us,

We’re there,

And we’ve always been there,

And we always will be,

And we’ll always be who we are and we’ll love who we love,

Even if you think we’re wrong.

So yeah, I’m proud.

I’m proud of our siblings in this wonderful family,

And I’m proud of our ancestors who made our history,

And I’m proud of our progeny who will continue to build this world,

And I’m proud of myself for being a part of this big, beautiful mess,

And I will always, always choose pride.

2

Oh, HAY, it me, nearly 40 vs me at 14 or so. I’m Cuban-American and neuroatypical. Didn’t start transition til I was 33, and wow was being closeted rough.

So. It’s Transgender Day of Visibility and a lot of folks are going to be sharing their transition pics. Please, please, please resist the urge to tell them they were attractive before.

Speaking from experience: for transmasculine folks, “but you’re such a pretty girl” is constantly trotted out to discourage us from transitioning. As if our only value is in how attractive we look. (And as if there isn’t a shit-ton of misogyny behind valuing women and perceived women only for their looks and treating their appearance as an issue of public consumption rather than personal expression/fulfillment.)

I found only trauma in being told how pretty my girl costume was, because pretending to be cis only brought me pain. Every fight over clothes, makeup, hair, etc. was a night I cried myself to sleep. And I cried a LOT in those days, even if people didn’t see it.

We trans folk have an uncomfortable relationship with being told we’re attractive by cis people. Because “attractive” is almost always code for “cis-passing”. Because, for trans women, their attractiveness is overwhelmingly tied to being objectified as a sexual fetish. Because, for non-binary and non-transitioning people, they still aren’t being told they are valuable and loved.

Here’s the thing, cis friends: transition photos really aren’t for *you*. We share the documentation of our transition as a way to give ourselves and other trans people hope. “Passing” is overwhelmingly an issue of safety, and any joy at putting some of our dysphoric demons to rest is clouded by all these messages that we’re finally “acceptable” to a cis audience.

Transition photos are photos of SURVIVAL. Transition photos document RECOVERY FROM TRAUMA. Just… just think about that.

By all means, tell trans people they are attractive (we do need to hear it from time to time, same as everyone else), but go beyond the obsession with what we used to look like. If you want to know more about transition, Google it, the same way we all had to. Engage with trans folks on their other strengths and talents. That will go much further to signify your allyship.

Batman vs Superman was over two hours of two men bickering over who has the biggest brooding cock-I mean, who has the better method of "saving" people and whether or not it's ok for Batman to beat and brand criminals without regarding the fact that not everyone's as wealthy and privileged as his morally upright ass and for Superman to ignore the fact that not everyone's as indestructible as him, meanwhile Wonder Woman over here...

Ok.

Wonder Woman was vastly superior to bvs for two reasons.

-Wonder Woman is actually a likable lady and an idealistic believable super hero who doesn’t spend her entire moving thinking about how she COULD help people.

She charges in, headfirst, wanting to help people she doesn’t even KNOW because she wants to protect the people who’re dying.

-and Wonder Woman was just so much more subtle and less pretentious about its message.

Seriously.

Let’s talk.

Wonder Woman’s CHARACTER is not that she’s cold and heartless and…well, masculine.

She doesn’t EMULATE men.

She doesn’t need to act like a man to be strong.

She coos at a baby and kisses Chris Pine and doesn’t spend the entire movie ragging on women.

She dresses and acts feminine, and embodies kindness, grace, beauty, everything “feminine.”

And she’s also strong as fucking hell.

That is Wonder Woman.

She’s a good person.

She’s not some cold warrior goddess, an untouchable female shaped ideal.

She’s GENUINELY KIND.

She sees people suffering in the trenches and her first thought it, stop what we’re doing, we gotta help.

Chris pine and all of his men?

They’ve seen all of this.

They’ve hardened themselves to the horrors of war and accepted them as inevitable.

But Diana, new to the cruelty of the human world, is disgusted and she asks what’s wrong with you?

What is wrong with us?

We have accepted casualties. We have accepted pain.

We have excused suffering because we told ourselves long ago that we couldn’t do anything about it.

But Diana?

She does not accept that.

She fights, yes. She’s ferocious and she, unlike Batman, doesn’t have a compulsion against killing.

She was raised by warrior women, I mean come on.

But who does she fight for?

The women and children who did nothing wrong.

The injured, hopeless men fighting a war to end all wars.

The entire movie was lovely because all of Diana’s bewilderment at the way humans live was incredible.

She’s shocked at how dirty London is.

She’s not impressed by sex and she’s not impressed by war.

She thinks sexism is strange.

But she doesn’t like, rag on it, because Diana is literally so above it that she just wryly questions it at times.

Like I don’t care what all the whiny fanboys say.

There’s not an overt feminist message in this movie.

There’s no “men are so weak.”

There’s “men are corruptible” but as we see, Diana sees them as worth saving in the end, if only to fulfill her own ideals…

Which is feminist as fuck, I guess, because Diana doesn’t defend men because it’s her job.

She defends them because it’s her decision. Her morality. Her duty.

But the feminism in the movie comes from the fact that she’s so kind.

She breaks down when realizing that Ares isn’t behind it all, that MEN are the ones who are cruel to one another.

She sees the war and it’s only senseless violence to her.

All of the people she wants to help are the victims, and it’s clear cut, to her, who’s bad and who’s not.

But Chris Pine helps her realize that humans aren’t so clear cut.

And so even though she was disgusted by human actions, she still wanted to help the people in need.

I absolutely adore the scene where she’s charging across a battle field to pave the way to the town.

First off, it was so badass watching her knock aside artillery like it was nothing as the men cowered in the pits.

Second, SHE SAW THAT PEOPLE WERE SUFFERING AND SHE DIDNT CALCULATE.

She didn’t do a Batman, where she looked at the risks vs the benefits vs the needs of the many and the few.

She just charged in and did what she could.

Chris Pine told her she couldn’t do anything except help him with his plan, in order to stop the war and save them indirectly.

But Diana is a true warrior with the heart of a lion, man.

She helped them directly, with no nonsense, no politicizing, no planning, just action.

At the end she says love will save humanity?

That’s the kind of feminism Wonder Woman was embodying.

Wonder Woman wasn’t this lone independent operator who sneers at men who try to involve themselves in her business.

She was helped and supported by men, but it was clear that she was the star, the true hero who brought them and their plans together but also gave them a new hope, a new heart.

They were jaded by helplessness and mortal frustration, forced to fight to stand stills and accept human deaths.

She came and showed them something miraculous and wonderful: her power.

But not used to beat someone’s head in with a fucking sink.

Used to do good.

To fight for her morals, which aren’t corrupted by the human world’s greyness, not yet.

I loved this movie.

I loved this movie so much.

DC finally did good and we can stop pretending suicide squad and Batman vs superman were good.

Wonder Woman is the good DC movie.

Don’t even try to tell me BVS was better than Wonder Woman because if you genuinely believe that, either out of pride and obstinacy from all your bickering with marvel fans or out of delusional worshipping of anything DC, then I think you just like watching people beat people in slow motion and uncomfortably lofty , corporate-cut and stylized plots as interesting as watching a landscape time lapse.

Suicide squad was cut to bits by its editors, BVS suffered from some severe Snyder wanking, and justice league, I don’t know, we’ll see.

But Wonder Woman?

Best DC movie since dark knight.

God bless Patty.

I knew we needed a woman in charge to get the job done.

Now direct all sexist comments and sneering remarks about feminazis destroying your precious super hero genre with their “love” themes to my inbox where they’ll be lovingly deleted.

I'm sure they know.

I’m sure Sean knows he’s a wonderful inspiration and and the cutest green bean ever, he’s been on the internet and popular for a while. He’s heard it before.

Same goes for Mark. I’m sure he knows we know that he is so damn impressive and smart in everything he does, he’s heard it before.

And surely Felix, by now, knows that his audience is there for a reason, and that he’s got a good head on his shoulders.

Ethan must know that he’s wonderful and can do almost anything at 20, and we support him through that.

I’m sure they’ve been reassured that they’re beautiful, too. Hell we make art of them daily.

They know.

But does Tyler know HE was the actively saving my life? Not Mark? That he is a walking miracle of a human in the way he acts, and WE KNOW IT.

Does Robin know that when some of us see a really funny part in a JSE video, a close up or a few pop up things. We think of that funny Swedish dude that we barely see but god we love him. (Additionally hes so impressive? Like??? Antisepticeye is part jack but also a HUGE part Robin go dude)

Does Katherine know, as the resident brown haired woman with glasses in teamiplier that she makes me accept myself as the brown haired girl with glasses because she is so damn beautiful

Does AMY know, that she is so passionate about what she loves and that drives some of us everyday. I want to be like Amy Nelson! And FUCK NO, when I say that I do not mean I want to date Mark. I want to be loving, passionate, and talented. And she’s a fucking good inspiration. (Even though she has a channel, still saying this, because it’s true and it might not have reached her yet)

Does Signé know she makes some of us feel not so alone anymore? That woman dealt with depression and anxiety and still deals with some today. She’s creative, she’s wonderful, she’s beautiful and when I say I want to be like Signe Hansen I don’t mean Sean’s girlfriend because I want to be creative and I want to fight off my depression and I am, with her help. (Even though she has a channel, I’m still saying this)

Gods sake, does MARZIA KNOW she is a sweetheart and smart and talented and not just Felix’s girlfriend because just a little scroll through the comments on her channel saying she’s using him for views makes me sorta insulted. Marzia is loving, and sweet and beautiful and when I say I want to be like Marzia Bisognin I don’t mean Felix’s girlfriend I mean a kind, loving and sweet woman with an impeccable fashion sense. Do all these people get left slightly behind and never told this, only getting indirect praise because it’s targeted at Mark? Or Sean? Or Ethan? Or Felix? I want Tyler, Robin, Katherine, Amy, Signe and Marzia to know they’re just as important as their friends/ significant others to some of us. Reblog with your own thoughts on these guys! Spread the love!

anonymous asked:

What do you think about Ariana grande and the charity concert

I think it’s fucking incredible that not even 2 weeks after that happened, she managed to organise the whole thing. I think it’s incredible that every bit of money that is made is going to help the families of those who died and the victims that survived but not without significant pain and suffering. I think it’s pretty incredible that she was apparently in hysterics and inconsolable for nearly 24 hours after it happened, but she came back to the city it happened in to give something good to those people. I think it’s incredible to see the support of so many other artists for the people of Manchester. I think it’s the best thing that could have happened honestly. They wanted us scared, they wanted us to be scared to do what we love, that’s why they targeted the place they targeted. And instead we’ve put on an even bigger show, brought even more people together, spread love and support and acceptance. It’s the most beautiful show of support and the best fuck you to everything the people that plan these attacks stand for.

Before this all happened, I didn’t really pay Ariana any attention, and I wasn’t a fan of her music. But after all of this, and the grace and poise and class that she’s responded to this situation with, I have nothing but respect for her.

INTRODUCING AEO + IT GETS BETTER

Over the last seven years, the It Gets Better Project has successfully leveraged the influential power of media to uplift and empower LGBTQ youth around the world. From an unprecedented social media campaign to a best-selling book to award-winning television programming, we are always seeking new ways to get our message of hope into the hearts and minds of those who need it most.


We have witnessed tremendous progress on a global scale toward greater acceptance for LGBTQ people. Yet, today, our youth are bombarded with threats to their civil liberties and, in some cases, their lives, because the communities they call home refuse to accept them. Our partnership with American Eagle Outfitters for the #WeAllCan campaign is the perfect collaboration to ensure that LGBTQ youth know they have the potential to achieve great things and to make a tangible and positive difference in the world. And, it provides an opportunity for those who love the American Eagle Outfitters brand to wear their support of a more inclusive world!

The social narrative is always changing. We know how to change that narrative, and the support of forward-thinking organizations, like American Eagle Outfitters, makes that change possible. Together, we will amplify our message of hope until every single person on this planet understands the intrinsic value we all possess as human beings. We owe it to our youth, we owe it to ourselves, and we owe it to the future of our society. Life can and will get better for LGBTQ youth — and for everyone else — when we start celebrating our differences and adopt a #WeAllCan attitude.

AEO is donating 100% of sales from our 2017 Pride Collection to It Gets Better. Because together, #WeAllCan make the world a brighter, better, more inclusive place for everyone!

Shop the Pride collection HERE

We want to know what Pride means to YOU. Share your story with #WeAllCan and you could be featured on our Pride Parade Float or Times Square billboard!

Can Conscious K-Pop Cross Over? BTS & BigHit Entertainment CEO ‘Hitman’ Bang on Taking America

On April 2, BTS played the fifth and final date of a sold-out U.S. arena run, performing to the shrieking fans who helped the group’s second full-length album, Wings, become the first K-pop project to crack the top 40 of the Billboard 200 in 2016. Since debuting in 2013, the seven-piece boy band has become a commercial behemoth in its native South Korea while continuing to make inroads within American pop culture. “Change,” an English-language hip-hop collaboration between BTS member Rap Monster and U.S. star Wale, was released three days before the kickoff of the stateside run.

“Change” touches on topics like voting rights and online harassment, while some of BTS’ biggest hits have addressed mental health. “Worldwide, our young generation shares the same issues socially and politically,” says BTS member Suga. Although K-pop music generally steers away from controversy, Rap Monster says that remaining outspoken “is important to us. And the bigger the voice we get, the more powerful our words become.”

A new BTS album is already underway and more U.S. dates might be on the way later this year. Bang Si Hyuk, the CEO and Executive Producer of label/management agency BigHit Entertainment who is better known as “Hitman” Bang, hints at “special features” designed for international listeners but thinks BTS will continue playing to its base.

“I’m not a believer in releasing full English songs to the U.S. market, like many K-pop artists have,” Bang tells Billboard in his first-ever interview with American press. “We must focus on what we do best as K-pop artists and producers and maybe add some special features to which international or U.S. music fans can feel attached. That is the best way for me to put K-pop into the mainstream U.S. music market and, in that regard, BTS will participate and perform in a way that is not much different from what they have been doing in the last three years. We’re adjusting and improving the way we do shows on the tour to meet the international or global level and expectations so that anyone, regardless of their culture and background, can enjoy BTS music and performances.”

Bang is sure to add that the group will be “very active and responsive in releasing new songs that would come out of collaborations with international artists, like 'Change.’” And, looking ahead, both the CEO and band see their most recent accomplishments as inspiration to achieve even more in the future.

“I’m so excited and thrilled at the response to the U.S. tour,” Bang says. “It’s still overwhelming and unbelievable at some point. I even further feel responsible for producing better music and production for fans around the world and I’d definitely think harder on what makes fans enthusiastic and passionate about BTS music and the band.” Meanwhile, the ambition within the group is perhaps best felt when member V winks that the group has “grander goals”; as if arena shows are just the beginning of what he and his band mates plan to accomplish around the world.

Below read on for an extended interview with BTS held before the tour kicked off. All member answers are taken via a translator except for Rap Monster.

With five arena shows, this tour is so huge and I think the main reason for that and why you guys are doing so well in America is because you sing about personal topics. Why is that so important to talk about in your music?

​Suga: Worldwide, our young generation shares the same issues socially and politically. I think that young people feel the same way about similar issues and BTS wants to cheer them up with our songs and talk about our feelings and social issues.

Rap Monster: These topics, like you said, they’re important, right? They should be told by someone. Someone should talk about it. And if someone should talk about it, then it feels like we have to talk about it. It’s very much an honor that we get power and attention from our fans them when we use our voices more. It’s important to us and the bigger the voice that we get, the more powerful that our words become.

These topics – loneliness, mental health, bullying – you don’t hear about in K-pop or even Korean culture much. Or, really, in American pop music either. Have you ever worried it might get a negative or opposite response?

​Suga: There are people who think negatively and there have been people who react negatively towards BTS’ music. But I think it’s way more important to make music with those issues because I think it’s important to encourage people to fight for those issues and, through the music, have a resolution for those issues. But I’m going to continue to talk about those issues through the music anyway. [Laughs]

Do you think K-pop needs to get more personal to gain a wider audience? Would you like to see that more in future?

Rap Monster: We still need some party songs, we still need some light love songs. I love to listen to them and feel the vibe from that. Everyone has their luggage and their shadows, but it’s up to everyone’s own [devices]. But we’re us. I think if we talk about it and if it gets more voice and attention, then maybe there are a lot of people in the world that accept us start to talk about those issues. I think that’s the change.

I thought “Spring Day” was a really big musical moment for you guys. Not only did it do really well on the charts, but this time you were showing a progression in thinking and a message of hope. The idea of recovering and winter moving to spring. Was that a conscious decision?

Rap Monster: It’s just like what you said, that was one step further. We’re always talking about the crises, the sorrows and youth’s feelings of getting lost. In many [television] programs, when we’d introduce our new album, I’d always talk about the word “recovery.” Like you said, it’s all about the recovery. Winter going to spring. The middle of the winter going to the spring. You got that.

​Suga: In addition to being what we are as BTS, we wanted to bring some changes and we actually wanted to evolve as a group. We wanted to show our many colors, but we still want to console others and give hope to others.

Something that was unique was all the solo songs on the Wings album. You’ve done mixtapes, but instead of full-fledged solo or unit releases, you got to show your different sides of yourselves. Why was that necessary?

Jin: The solo tracks were important because it was personal, an individual story and it was represented in the way that we are good at it. We worked a lot on each track and that’s why it was important to each of us.

Rap Monster: When I get questions about why is K-pop is so popular; I always tell them K-pop is like a great mix of music, videos, visuals, choreography, social media and real-life contents. Making the solo tracks on the album was quite a venture, but it’s connected to the concept. Like, when you watch the “I Need U” video, everyone has their own crises and characters. It’s kind of connected to our real personalities and characters, but the solo songs have their own characters and personalities. It’s all connected. It’s a mixture and that’s why people get interested in the concepts.

Speaking of solo songs, “Change” recently came out. Rap Monster, you and Wale are talking about different-but-similar issues when South Korea and America are both having interesting political times. Did you guys have a chance to discuss your different viewpoints?

Rap Monster: We didn’t have the time to get into it deeply, but I’m always watching the news about Trump and America; I always watch. When he first suggested a collaboration, I was like, “What should we do?” We could just do you know, a common hip-hop song, but I wanted to do a little more special. We have our political situation in Korea and the students are very angry. So, I think, if we talked about what’s going on, then we’ll have a real special collaboration. I think my guess was right and it became special.

Do you see or feel your influence among other groups in the industry?

​Jungkook: When we debuted back in 2013, we were influenced by our sunbaenim [Korean word for “senior”]. Over the years, as we watched other younger groups, we know they talk about us, they cover us and they follow us. I think they’re saying in interviews that they learned a lot from us and that makes us feel great. Being a sunbaenim, we want to be a good influence and be a better role model to other groups.

Last question, are you happy?

V: For now, we are very happy as we are, as a group, together. And I think we are happy because we are walking on the same path, walking the same direction. We wanted to get Daesang [Best of the Year award], but we have it already so our goal is to make great music, to share it with our fans.

Rap Monster: And a worldwide, stadium tour. That’s the goal.

V: We have grander goals.

© Jeff Benjamin @ Billboard

Sometime in the future...

…when Dex realizes he’s not poor anymore.

“can we get a headboard, too?”

Dex hated that voice. It was a voice he hadn’t heard come out of his mouth in a long time, since before him and Nursey got married, before they graduated, before he started seeing a therapist. It was a voice that said, ’a no would break me’ underneath the real words of his question.

It was how he used to ask for hugs, and how he asked, three months into their fuck-buddy relationship, for Nusey to please stay the night, just once, nobody ever stays.

Nursey gave him a long, appraising look, but Dex knew he wouldn’t ask why, all of a sudden, Dex sounded so unsure of himself. Just like Dex knew, eventually, he’d tell Nursey why something so silly as a headboard was so important to him.

He gave a small smile instead, kissed Dex’s cheek, and said, “That’s chill.”

They got out of their truck, a purchase that Nursey made without Dex because he knew his husband could never justify the price to himself, even though they could afford it a hundred times over. Between Dex’s NHL salary and Nursey and Lardo’s line of children’s books, there wasn’t really anything they couldn’t afford.

Which is why Dex hated how small and broken his voice sounded when he asked if they could buy a headboard.

With the new contract Dex signed, finally featuring a no trade clause, they decided to buy a house. Nursey went all out; he spent weeks touring places, picking out furniture, and giving Dex the silent treatment (apparently ‘whatever you want’ isn’t the right answer). The only thing left was a new mattress.

They saved it specifically for a week when Dex didn’t have any scheduling conflicts. He tried to tell Nursey that it was fine, he could go ahead and buy one without Dex there, but he refused, insisting that a mattress was an individual experience, both of them had to agree.

They both knew that, in the end, Dex wouldn’t have an opinion. A bed was a bed to him, and any bed was better than no bed. It felt nice to have a full day with his husband, though.

They stood in front of a huge mattress store, and for some reason, Dex felt uncertain. There was something about this, buying a bed, that made everything real to him. He was an adult. He was well off financially. And he was about to walk into a store hand in hand with his husband. And he was happy.

He wasn’t the angry kid from Maine, anymore.

A saleswoman nearly a foot shorter than the couple (call me Cici!) dragged them all over the store, practically pushing them down on mattresses and asking about their firmness. She asked about hteir opinon on memory foam versus tempurpedic, about fabrics and springs and coils and all sorts of questions Nursey has answers for that Dex can’t make heads or tails of.

He zones out a bit, but jumps back into the conversation when the topic of temperature comes up (so, are you two warm blooded or do you use a lot of blankets at night?). He had no idea that they made some mattresses cooler than others, but yes they wanted to try those out, because his husband is a furnace and the three stupid cats Nursey snuck home were like little fuzzy ovens.

So, they go to the other side of the store and try out hybrids (of what, Dex really couldn’t say). Without even trying it out, Nursey pointed at one of the set-ups and declared, “it’s going to be this one.” Dex had to admit that it was pretty comfortable. He didn’t feel like he was sinking into the mattress, which was nice.

Nursey clamored on top, cuddling into Dex’s side with a smug grin. “Told you it was this one.”

Still grinning, Nursey asked Cici, “Can you show us some headboard options?”

There was an entire room of them. Bed frames and headboards and footboards. Big quilted ones that Dex thought would go great in his baby sister’s princess room, studded leather ones, wrought iron frames that looked a little too bondage for Dex’s comfort.

Dex wasn’t sure what his face was doing, but  Cici told them quietly that she would give them a few minutes to look around, even though she had been attached at to their side for the hour they had been in the store.

They wandered around, looking at all the choices. Dex knew he held Nursey’s hand a little too hard, but Nursey didn’t say anything. He let Dex take the lead, inputting his opinion but never tryng to influence Dex, never pushing him to talk about it.

They made two circuits of the room before stopping (for the second time) in front of a simple padded headboard. It wasn’t anything fancy, just smooth, cream colored fabric. Dex ran a finger over the display. It was softer than it looked.

“I don’t understand headboards. Or footboards. They’re totally pointless.”

In the past, that may have been an invitation for Nursey to chirp Dex, to ask what the hell they were doing buying one if Dex thought it was pointless. But after so many years together, Nursey knew Dex needed to talk it out, not have a conversation.

“Did you know that before I went to Samwell, I never slept in a real bed?”

“I didn’t, babe.”

Dex never took his eyes off the headboard. “For a while I had a matress thrown on the floor in me and Adam’s room, but then I gave it to Hannah and I started sleeping on some sleeping bags on the floor. I told myself it was like camping. Even when I imagined my house, I never imagined a having a real bed. What’s the piont of buying something that’s totally pointless? It’s just a waste of money.”

Nursey ran a warm hand up and down Dex’s back. Dex rarely talked about his childhood. It was one of the only things they still faught about sometimes: Nursey taking their money for granted and Dex not being able to accept that he can spend money when he wants to.

“But we can buy this. We can buy something that’s totally pointless, just because I want it.”

It wouldn’t match the room, even a little bit. The whole house was stark greys and bright whites, accents of bright colors. The cream fabric would stick out like a sore thumb. It was meant for a softer house. There was something about it that Dex like, though. He couldn’t put his finger on what, exactly, but he loved it.

“What do you think?”

Nursey didn’t bother to look away from Dex when he answered. “I think it’s great, babe. It’ll look good in the bedroom.”

Dex gave him a hard look. “really.”

“Okay, no. but if you like it, then I couldn’t care less.”

And just like that,they bought it. And later that night, in their brand new bed, in their house (their house, not a house they were renting), Dex slept better than he could ever remember sleeping.

anonymous asked:

Forgive me if you've been asked this already but at what moment do you think Clarke fell in love with Lexa, or realized she was in love with her? I believe Eliza had trouble answering this at a con (I think she said it was before the bow though) so I'm wondering what you think.

Mmm that’s hard to say, and honestly, that’s kinda what I love about it. Because you can’t always exactly pinpoint the moment you fall in love with someone, right? Maybe it’s a feeling that grows gradually but unstoppable, maybe it’s like a wave hitting you at once, it varies. And that’s how I think it was for Clarke.

The way I see it, it was sudden for her at first and then everything slowed down and it naturally developed. It wasn’t love yet in the beginning, but there was definitely a realization that she had feelings for Lexa. Just look at her face after storming out of Lexa’s tent in 2x14. 

Why else would she looked so bothered? If she had just been upset about their argument she would have had an angry face. Instead she looks like she’s literally trying to physically restrain her feelings, whatever they may be. She takes that deep, shaky breath in an attempt to collect herself because, what the hell just happened inside that tent? Did Lexa really just confess she has feelings for me? And why does it affect me so much? What am I feeling? This is what I think is going through her mind. And then of course we have the confirmation of this, when she gladly replies to Lexa’s kiss. Even after she rejects her, there is no indication of that being a definitive rejection. There is no feeling of “I’m sorry, but I don’t reciprocate.” Clarke is not ready for a relationship, and it’s right that she was honest with Lexa, but she rejects her in literally the softest way possible, AND leaves the door open for the future. Not yet. That means she already sees herself considering a relationship with Lexa in the future, after healing, when she’s finally ready. And look at how tender and somewhat tamely longing her gaze is even after she rejected Lexa.

She is definitely aware of her feelings for Lexa here. But then the betrayal happens and ah, they take 46 steps back.

Now, of course, Lexa’s betrayal causes Clarke to close herself off. Clarke is angry at Lexa, she’s angry at herself, she’s in pain, every other feeling pales in comparison. And obviously, so much of Clarke’s suffering is tied to what Lexa did, so it’s definitely not a surprise that romance is out of the question when they first meet again. Clarke’s pain is consuming her, she is definitely not thinking about whatever she and Lexa had. And yet…

This isn’t a romantic moment by any means. But we’re talking about Clarke realizing she loves Lexa, and I don’t think we can’t gloss over this moment. When I say that I don’t romanticize this scene, it’s because this is not a cute moment. This isn’t a “oh my God, she loves her!” moment, this moment is sad. It’s painful, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s so damn important. Clarke can’t kill Lexa here. How much easier would it be for her to shut her heart out entirely, to blame Lexa for everything and just kill her without feeling anything? I bet in that moment, a part of Clarke wants that. But Clarke feels, and she feels for Lexa. She has these feelings and they won’t go away, not even when she’s at her lowest. So yeah, not a romantic moment, but definitely essential to understand Clarke’s complicated feelings for Lexa.

After the bow, Clarke is a little more trusting towards Lexa, but she’s definitely still closed off, she’s not ready to expose her heart yet. And we get to the “I’m doing it for my people” episode, 3x04. Right from the very beginning, Clarke spends the entire episode trying to find a way to keep Lexa safe, to protect her. But every single time she voices her concerns to Lexa or hell, even Titus, her preoccupation feels far more personal than political. She’s worried, she’s agitated, she even seems angry that Lexa won’t listen to her and step away from the duel. It’s a crescendo of apprehension and frustration and anxiousness as every single one of Clarke’s attempts fails, crescendo that culminates in an emotional explosion.

The second gif is particularly telling. Titus interrupts them, the moment is gone and Clarke finds herself having to face what just happened. Look at her face, at how she looks away from Lexa and sucks a breath through her teeth. She’s restraining her feelings, but she’s a little too late this time. And it’s not only Lexa who is shaken by Clarke’s emotional outburst, it’s Clarke herself too. She doesn’t catch herself in time and now she can’t pretend with herself that those feelings aren’t there. I think this is when the true first “shift” after the betrayal happens. Clarke wants to keep Lexa at arm’s length but Lexa might very well die that same day and, despite any resolution she had, the thought terrifies Clarke. And she’s so scared that she’s never going to see Lexa again that…

I could write an essay on all the emotions Clarke experiences before and throughout and at the end of Lexa’s duel, but the gist of it is that during this tense moment, with Lexa’s life on the line, she can’t bring herself to hide her feelings. It’s all there, on her face. 

Only when things settle down she is able to collect herself again. Lexa comes visit her that night and we see Clarke pull her walls up again. “I was just doing what was right for my people.” BUT! Even if Clarke is not ready to open up her heart again, that scene is infused with intimacy. Even Clarke’s “rejection” is filled with emotion.

Clarke is the opposite of cold here. The way I see it, she is pulling away because she’s realizing she’s close to giving in, but she’s not yet ready for that. It’s so clear that here Lexa is talking about what happened at Mount Weather too, this is another quiet apology that Clarke obviously recognizes. If she went with her feelings, Clarke would have to admit that she does understand Lexa, that in her heart maybe she’s already forgiven her. But in that moment it’s too overwhelming, so she looks away and avoids the conversation, avoids Lexa’s gaze, avoids having to focus on her feelings.

She literally keeps having to look away because things get too intense but at the same time there’s a tenderness in her eyes that she can’t hide. And once Lexa is gone and she can breathe… bam

All the feelings she restrained, everything she tried to hide merely minutes ago hits her full force. I said I think Clarke’s love for Lexa developed gradually, naturally, but if I had to pick a specific moment and say that’s when Clarke realized she’s in love with Lexa, it would be this one.

By the time we get to 3x06, I do believe Clarke knows and has accepted she is in love with Lexa, but she’s still struggling to admit it out loud, especially to Lexa. That episode happens roughly 7-10 days after the events of Hakeldama, and when we see Clarke and Lexa again, they are closer than ever. There is a sense of intimacy, of almost domesticity between them. They are comfortable with each other’s presence. There’s not really a reason for them being in the same room in that scene: Lexa fell asleep while reading and Clarke is drawing (there are other sheets in her folder, which makes me think she was drawing other things before focusing on Lexa). They don’t have to talk or interact, they simply are together.

When Lexa wakes up from the nightmare, Clarke doesn’t hesitate to jump next to her and comfort her, with soothing touches and calming, reassuring words. And then we get to the moment Lexa notices the drawing. A lot has been said about Lexa’s face, but instead look at Clarke’s.

This is the exact opposite of what I was talking about in 3x04. Lexa sees the drawing and is taken aback. That she doesn’t know whether she should hope for anything is another story, but the look she gives Clarke is very telling. And Clarke doesn’t avoid it. Yes, her first instinct is to play it off as something meaningless. “Uh, that’s not- it’s not finished yet.” But then Lexa looks at her, confused, surprised, a tiny bit hopeful, and Clarke meets her gaze and they just stare at each other. Look at that little pause she does before lifting her eyes. That’s when she chooses not to hide. As I said, I think that here Clarke has come to terms with her feelings for Lexa, but here for the first time, she doesn’t hide them from Lexa. Her look is just as telling as Lexa’s. They aren’t saying a word and this is one of their most honest, important conversations. Clarke is silent, but her eyes are speaking, her untold feelings are there, and maybe letting Lexa know isn’t so unfathomable anymore. Maybe, maybe Clarke this is the closest Clarke has been to being ready.

So this is what i think. The way I see it, it’s tricky and complicated and simply beautiful.

I honestly love that 99% of the Star Trek fandom is so… nontoxic.

Yeah of course there’s the shadowlands and the elephant graveyard where the light doesn’t touch and anon hate roams wild, but compared to a lot of other fandoms it’s not only “chill” but widely accepting and outwardly kind!

Whenever I have a conversation about characters or ships or headcannons even if others disagree with me there’s an initial attitude of “oh huh I haven’t looked at it like that!” and then a discussion/debate which might not end in agreement but usually ends with a “cool thought process!” and that is SO underrated.

I feel so non-stressed when engaging with most other Trekkies because even if I ship Spirk and someone ships Spuhura I can still admit that Uhura’s a badass who cares about Spock a LOT and the other person can admit that Kirk flashes Spock bedroom eyes whenever the Vulcan makes a snarky comment.

And people share fanart and fanfics and have such nice things to say and they generally just enjoy the content without tearing others down! And if someone says “your fave is problematic” there’s a general willingness to listen and accept certain things and then continue to enjoy the content without needing to shame anyone for that enjoyment!

I know this is a bit sappy but I just love that a show about a future where everyone is treated with kindness and respect brings that out in so many people *today* because we’ll never get where we want to go if we don’t work towards it now, but I think we are working towards it, and I know Gene would be overjoyed to see that his work has led to so many good people doing good things.

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

I don’t think that kids need a father and a mother necessarily. I think they need male and female role models. But I don’t think that means that we shouldn’t have kids because we’re two guys. We don’t encourage our children to only play with Barbies. But if our son picks up a Barbie doll and wants to play with it, okay. Parents need to be more accepting of who their kids are and less concerned about who society thinks they need to be.
—  Neil Patrick Harris

A few years ago, I started doing this thing where I take care of myself from a third-person perspective. It started when I got diagnosed with my neurological condition, as a way to remember and embrace that I had a handicap, and that my life would improve if I observed proper care of it. For example, when I started to get overloaded I taught myself to step outside of the situation and say, “Self, hey, I think we need to get out of here. Remember that you’re sick, and it’s okay that you’re sick. I know you’re still working, and I’m sorry, but it’s time to take us home.” A big step in my life happened when, on one of those days where just nothing worked at all, I just put myself to bed with a book and glass of milk at 4:00 in the afternoon, saying, “We did our best, but I think we need to shut this day down. This is your job right now; I need you to get a lot of rest, because there’s a lot to do tomorrow.” Everything feels so much better when someone understands and accepts what’s up with you, even if it IS you. Even the tough-love aspect through the worst of times that says, “I know this is breaking you down into little pieces, and I’m so, so sorry to do this, but I need you to keep going. I’m going to get us out of this, but in order to that I need you to keep going” makes everything so much easier. 

It’s turned into this major thing in my life. I can already state that this is the most important thing for success in grad school. When you can look at yourself objectively and feel a need to care for that good, hardworking little human as best you can, it makes it easy to put your health and safety first. It’s second nature to celebrate even the smallest victories of that person, because you work so hard to take care of them, and you see that hard work paying off in countless ways. Standing up for yourself if easy when that voice in your head rears up at once, unable to just sit by and let your person get kicked around. It’s hard for me to think, ‘Hey, please don’t say those mean things to me,’ but when I look at the situation from the outside I immediately start going, ‘Woah, buckarooni, you think I am gonna just sit here, let you talk at my human that way? Bouta get my foot in your face is what’s bouta happen, friend.’

This practice has made me more compassionate, more patient, and less tolerant of mistreatment of those around me in any form. The saying, ‘treat others as you treat yourself’ goes a long way when you treat yourself really, really well. I strongly recommend this practice to you student types. Be your own mom/big brother or sister. Or date yourself, be a healthy relationship. Put your own name on the list of people in your support system.