I have lots of feelings about the Batfam+Glasses and it started because of Tim
Because can you even imagine?? Like he loses them everywhere? He’ll set them down for two minutes to pee and somehow?? He’s forgotten where he put them? And he probably gets headaches allll the time (Reading on computers/electronics + glasses = endless head pain) so he hardly ever actually wears them. Which means a) that he loses them even more and b) He’s constantly squinting and almost running into shit
Also he definitely keeps every pair He’s ever owned “just in case”
And like, one time when Bruce is taking Tim to get new ones, he gets his eyes checked too just to be safe and it turns out he needs reading glasses
(Literally no one but Cass has seen him wearing them but. They do indeed exist)
And *that* makes him take all the other batkids beacuse. If he’s the world’s greatest detective, ,and he didn’t notice..how?? Will his kids?
(Besides, none of his kids have seen a docter for anything but stitches or whatever after patrol….since they became *his* kids, so he figures it’s a good idea)
But yeah he decided to makes everyone get their eyes checked, and despite the fact that most of them could go by themselves, he takes them himself. All at the same time.
So they’re all crammed into the tiny waiting room for the eye docter, at like a Costco or something, and it takes forever because there’s just *so* many of them. But it turns out that somehow Dick and Duke are legit the only ones who don’t need glasses??
Bruce is more than a little confused about how he managed to adopt so many kids with bad eyesight, and Damian is super annoyed because Father There Is No Way This Will Not Interfere With Patrol,
(Bruce later promises to figure out how to get prescription lenses in their masks, and to find a contact solution that won’t bother their eyes, and Damian is Satisfied™)
and Jason makes a dumb joke about how bad eyesight must run in the family but Damian doesn’t get it and has to tell him that they aren’t actually related by blood, and you should really know this by now Todd.
It definitely takes a long time to get everyone’s eyes checked and stuff, but it takes even longer to pick out frames because everyone is arguing and shoving each other and Bruce has never been so grateful there aren’t any reporters nearby because his kids are awful and have no manners
Dick probably wants to help pick everyones glasses out, but no one will let him because his fashion sense is atrocious
BUT Damian ends up letting him to make him happy, and is pleasantly surprised when Dick picks out a relatively normal pair of glasses for him .
(They are however, black and yellow with bat symbols on the inside)
Steph and Cass get matching ones (they’re very fashionable and probably have rhinestones on the sides ), Steph’s are purple, and Cass’s are blue
Jason 100% is just going to get prescription sunglasses, but with the help of every single family member they convince him that he would look like a dick, so he changes his mind
(Later, when there’s some pictures in some magazine of the Wayne family in all their bespectacled glory, Clark asks Bruce if his kids are stealing his shtick)
The Heretic’s real name was Cosmas. Talia named him and Damian after the twin patron saints of medicine as a tribute to both grandfathers’ careers. Ra’s knows this and occasionally has a rare sleepless night when he realizes how closely the two mirrored the Saints lives and deaths. Especially after the rest of the clones died in a similar way to the younger brothers of the Saints.