wayne building

I find it endlessly fascinating that Bruce Wayne, known in DC as the crabbiest, grumpiest, darkest character is (when written well) a very open and sympathetic person who mentors and parents a large number of children. Meanwhile, Clark Kent, the eternal boy scout who is cheery and kind and wonderful has a known history of being uncomfortable and even rude children who look to him as a mentor. I love that dichotomy and, more importantly, I love how such paradoxes actually really suit their characters.

Because the best way to Bruce Wayne is damaged, every single action he has taken is a result of grief and guilt and an inability to move past his tragedy. He acknowledges he is not normal, that he can’t think or feel in a normal, healthy capacity so he uses his trauma to help himself heal and maybe even better his city while he’s at it. But likewise, he understands sorrow and tragedy in others and is very empathetic to the plights of children in similar situations. He is dark and not very good with emotion but he does understand what grief can do to a person and when he sees children suffering, his big heart compels him to help out in anyway he can. He’s not always the best at it and a lot of times he becomes nervous over how attached he becomes to his children/partners and tries to distance himself. But that doesn’t change the fact that his initial reaction to sadness is to try and prevent them from going through what he did because he understands and is honestly upset by their plight.

Clark, on the other hand, had a picturesque Norman Rockwell childhood just with the occasional freak-outs about his ancestry and troubles with his powers. But having grown up in such an idyllic place where he didn’t have to suffer too much and had very open and accepting parents, he becomes a bit sheltered. Ma and Pa (rightfully so) tell Clark that his life is his own and he is entitled to his own happiness. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’ve seen people that go through their whole lives without conflict who react poorly when faced with change they were not prepared for. Superman is, of course, kind and generous and loving because he’s a genuinely good person and 9/10 his kindness doesn’t affect him and how he views his life. So when Kon comes along and even people talk about discovering Captain Marvel’s civilian identity, Clark responds negatively or at least, not in the open manner we would expect.

Because Clark is still caught up with his own life and his own desires that the thought of changing that up for these children just doesn’t occur to him. You can call it selfishness, cause it is, but it’s also human nature which is fascinating coming from an alien immigrant. Plus I imagine Clark has some rather traditional values having grown up in rural Kansas, he could barely handling finding out he was an alien much less properly deal with a sassy teenage clone of himself via Lex Luthor and a magic boy who can transform into an adult. I can see Clark being, well, a bit freaked out by all that. But this is a pattern we see over and over again with Clark dealing with children. He fares much better when a) he chose to have this child enter his life and isn’t feeling like he’s being forced and b) the child was younger and acquired through more normal means.

Now this isn’t a criticism on Clark, in fact, while I may curse about his treatment of Superboy and cry over the fact that he didn’t adopt Billy straight away, I love this complexity. I don’t like it when my characters are perfect, when they always do the right the thing and behave in a blameless matter all the time. It’s boring frankly. But I like seeing consistent character traits, good or bad that make sense when it comes to their behavior and actions. Like, I can easily see why the Dark Knight is a good father figure while the Man of Steel, the golden boy, is awkward and unhappy with these children in his life. Of course we see that Bruce fucks up with his kids as much as he helps them and Clark gets over his pettiness and learns to be a better mentor but we still have these initial reactions which say a lot about their feelings. DC is capable of building these interesting, complex characters and they never utilize them. They think making everything dark and grim makes things more interesting but really, if they just extrapolate the wealth of development and character they’ve already built, they could satisfy at least this reader a lot more.

Dating Bruce Wayne Would Include

(Btw I am using the Batman v Superman Bruce Wayne, y’all)

  • Not being entirely sure as to how it all even happened
    • On the off-chance that you’re one of Gotham’s minimal elite, you probably met Bruce at a charity gala and, for some reason beyond your comprehension, he picked you out of the other well-dressed women
    • In the higher likelihood that you don’t come from an affluent family, there’s a multitude of possibilities as to where you met: Maybe you were at a gala working as part of the catering company and he accidentally spilled red wine on you. Maybe you worked as an intern or temp or had a desk job somewhere in the Wayne Enterprise building in Gotham. Or maybe he just saw some assholes giving you a rough time and he stepped in and then offered to walk you home.
  • While you and Bruce were still in a technical courting period, you could’ve sworn you felt somebody’s presence at night whenever you walked home from work.
    • This, of course, caused you extreme worry – Gotham isn’t a hotbed of crime for nothing, after all.
    • It wasn’t until a mugger attempted to not only get your purse, but fresh and handsy as well, that you finally learned what that feeling of being watched had been coming from
    • You nearly browned your bottoms when you saw the Bat of Gotham looming over the mugger and found yourself too shocked to even scream when he dealt out his own brand of justice
    • When Batman told you to be mindful of your surroundings and to hurry home before swooping away into the night with his latest prison deposit, you could only nod with widened eyes.
    • You didn’t say anything until you got home, where it all came crashing down. To be honest, you geeked out: It’s not every day that someone gets to meet *the* Batman
    • You gleefully call Bruce about it. He doesn’t answer it until later, but you can hear a smirk in his voice as he responds to your fangirling
      • “–and he’s so tall, Bruce! Like, at least 6'2”! Maybe even 3!!“ “Is that so?” “And god, he’s so cut!” “Okay, watch it.”
  • You find out the truth, of course, on accident
    • You got held for ransom when a particularly ambitious baddy learned you were courting Bruce Wayne. You supposed Bruce had made a deal with Batman to retrieve you when he came crashing through the window of the warehouse you were tied up in.
    • After a particularly brutal fight between your kidnapper and your hero, you noticed his cowl was broken just enough to see a slip of your savior’s face.
    • Wait, you know that eye… And that chin …!
      • “… Bruce?” “…”
  • Bruce taking you back to his home to clean the both of you up and to explain everything to you
  • To be honest, you’re a little upset. It’s to be expected, considering that somebody you were potentially romantically involved with was masquerading around town dressed like every night was Halloween, getting into dangerous situations
    • But also understanding why he does it and while you may not necessarily agree with some of his more controversial methods (especially as of late), you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride that he was putting everything at risk just to make sure what happened to him doesn’t happen to somebody else.
  • Once you two become a couple, you also become Gotham’s “it” couple. Whether you want to or not.
  • Nicknames being a little weird for Bruce
    • He may have had that playboy reputation for a long while, but he’s well aware that he’s starting to hit silver fox territory. He decides that it’s important for him to be classy with what he calls you
      • However, Babe and Honey are the only things he can manage to utter that don’t feel as weird.
        • He’ll call you Baby Girl in private, though
    • You, however, are far more lenient (after all, one of you guys has to be the lighter one in this couple)
      • Your nicknames for him tend to also include Babe and Honey, but also extend to Sweetie, Brucie, Heartthrob, and Prince.
        • “Daddy” is behind closed doors
  • Galas, charities, balls, etc. becoming way more a part of your life than you probably ever wanted them to be
  • Bruce picking out clothes and accessories for said galas, charities, balls, etc.
    • You appreciate the effort, but really, who needs so many things!?
    • You make an agreement that you’ll donate the dresses you’re least likely to use and reuse the ones you love the most
      • Doing this wins both good and bad attention from the press and Gotham elite alike
      • If anyone gives you problems, however, you’d best belueve that you’re 6′3″ monstrosity of a beefboyfriend is going to approach them with some kind words, delivered by a smooth voice in a charming smile
  • Occasionally assisting Alfred with the Bat Tech
  • Helping out around Bruce’s home
    • It may not be as big or lavish as Wayne Manor, but you still don’t think it’s right to just let Alfred do all the work
  • Being incorporated into Bruce’s workout routine. This can include:
    • Sitting on his back while he does push-ups
    • Or laying beneath him while he does push-ups so that ever time he goes down, you get a kiss
    • Serving as a weight he lifts (though really, he’s more so doing it to make you laugh; the workout is just a plus)
  • You telling him that being a prop in making him fit doesn’t count as quality time, by the way
    • … Which results in him having you join in on the fun and doing nearly the same regimen, but reduced dramatically specifically for you
    • You nearly fought him for making you do this but you were too sore and tired to move by the end of it.
  • Bruce training you to defend yourself. The presence of people in his life such as Lex or Waller have him on high-awareness of how easy it’d be for the wrong people to connect you to not only Bruce Wayne, but to Batman as well.
    • He was quite proud of you when you landed a mean right hook on him and grinned even though it hurt
  • Bruce slowly becoming more open to you about the impact his parents’ death has had on him.
    • You expressed a lot of concern over him after you realized he’s seen some stuff. He may not have PTSD, but he definitely has some issues that he’s not readily addressing
    • He doesn’t really begin pouring out anything until a particularly bad nightmare where he not only relieves witnessing his parents dying, but then sees his mother turn into you before demanding to know why he didn’t try harder to save you/his mother.
    • If he doesn’t talk to you about it that night, then the best you can do is hold him and try to get you both back to sleep.
      • He probably gets up early, either because he couldn’t sleep at all or he felt guilty, and attempts making you breakfast as an apology. You both talk about what transpired the previous night after allowing the sweetness of French toast to clear your minds.
  • Constantly being a target of the paparazzi – and usually for the worse, with many papers suggesting that you’re a gold-digger
    • It comes with the territory of dating Gotham’s biggest bachelor, unfortunately
    • You either don’t give a crap because you know it’s not the truth and continue going on your merry way, or you try to compensate by taking up more shifts at your job and refusing to let Bruce buy you anything you couldn’t afford
    • Bruce eventually sits you down to talk about it if you go with the latter
  • Attending the annual Zorro Film Festival with him because it’s not only a great bonding experience, but you also know the importance of these films, being the last thing he and his parents saw together
  • Trips to the Wayne Botanical Garden
    • Having to be careful about which plants you call pretty.
      • Because if he hears you say anything, a bouquet or pot of whichever plants you commented on are likely to find their way to your workplace, your apartment, or your bedside if you spent the night at his place
  • Waiting up for him to come home from his nightly patrols even though he keeps telling you not to
    • Sometimes, you pretend to be asleep on the couch so that when he comes home, he carries you to your bed. You’re pretty sure he knows what you’re up to, though
      • Bruce knows
  • Ending up on top of Bruce if you two fall asleep together
    • You assume that you inherently do it in your sleep because it feels nice to lay on top of your big, nice-smelling boyfriend
    • Really, it’s because more than 67% of the time, Bruce pulls you on top of him
      • You act as a sort of weighted blanket that helps him sleep better
  • Meeting Diana Prince and getting a girl crush of sorts on her
    • She’s just so beautiful and strong and smart and cool and –
    • You nearly fainting when she happily offers to teach you how to fight with a sword since Bruce didn’t take the initiative to do so
  • Being aware of his newfound hunt for Metahumans 
  • Sometimes he wonders if he’s even making a difference.
    • He’s been in the game so long, seen so many awful things. It’s caused him to do plenty of considerably bad things as well. But it never seems to stick, and it’s almost as though the people are getting worse
    • You need to offer him support, insisting that while you worry about him with every patrol, you know he’s trying to do what’s right and that while it may not seem that way, his presence has assured that Gotham won’t fall further than what it could be
  • Being able to tell when he’s had a particularly rough night.
    • His usual silence feels different; heavier, if you had to use a word
    • He becomes a lot more handsy with you, but affectionate. As if you’re the last flower in a prized garden and he never noticed until now
    • If you’re actually asleep by the time he gets back, you may get woken up by him caressing your cheek, rubbing a thumb over your hand, or him putting his heavy arms around you to pull you in close
    • If you try and ask what’s wrong, he likely won’t say anything and just get into a sitting position and hold you in his lap and just hug you
    • You don’t press for more or anything, you just let it happen
    • You always fall asleep in this position. Usually, by the time you’ve lost consciousness, Bruce murmurs about how you’re one of the only good things left in this city
      • He means it


<p>Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Rihanna, Blue Ivy, Drake, Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne, J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Janelle Monae, Jidenna (some of Hip Hop royalty) meets Avatar: The Last Airbender with an African Influence</p>

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The venture bros
Dumbass - Roy Harper x Reader

(Requested by @batlog)

You and Roy crept silently through the air ducts of a Wayne Enterprises building. You glared at him judgmentally, to which he responded with a grin.
   “This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. And you and Jason have done some really stupid things, Harper,” you hissed. “What in god’s name were you thinking? Yeah, let’s break into a high-security office building and try to snoop through the owner’s files. Really damn brilliant.” Roy sort of shrugged it off. “Hey. It could be worse,” he offered. At that moment, the metal ducts started creaking. You both flinched as voices got louder below you. 

   “Screw it. We find a vent, then we run,” he commanded. You didn’t argue. Opening a vent, the two of you dropped down into a conference room. Fortunately, it was empty. You peeked through the door, and upon seeing nobody, led Roy out into the hallway. You continued making your way through the office building until you reached the stairs. Realizing you were on the 18th floor, you groaned, but started running down them regardless. Roy trailed behind you. As you emerged onto the ground floor, you were met with a security team. Their weapons were trained on you and Roy. For a second, you wondered how they’d found you so quickly, but Roy quickly answered your unspoken question.
   “The cameras,” he groaned.

   “Remind me why I decided that being your best friend was a good idea?” you inquired harshly. He shrugged, attempting to reach his lockpicks with his cuffed hands.
   “You know you love me,” he declared. Your heart beat a bit faster. Roy was your best friend, and he didn’t know about how you actually felt. He didn’t need to. You huffed.
   “Whatever. Just come closer, I’ll grab the damn lockpicks,” you muttered. He leaned over to you until he was close enough that you could grab the picks from under his belt. You passed them over to him.
   “Salty…” he commented under his breath. You scoffed.
   “It’s your fault we’re in this mess!” you argued. He smirks as he frees his hands and starts picking the cuffs on yours.
   “Oh, but Y/N,” Roy announced. “You didn’t have to follow me.” You froze. That was actually a valid point. The handcuffs fell off your hands, which Roy promptly grabbed.
   “Now let’s go,” he says, pulling you off into a run.

Later, in his apartment, you collapsed on the couch.
   “We shouldn’t visit Jason at the manor for a while. Bruce will be pissed,” you suggested. Roy flopped down next to you, making a noise of agreement. He put his hand on your shoulder, which made you tense up a bit.
   “Thanks for helping me out of that,” he said. You turn your head, looking into his bright green eyes. There was something there he hadn’t ever shown you before. Affection?
   “You’re welcome,” you replied. “You’re still a dumbass, though.” He chuckled.
   “Yes, but I’m your dumbass.” And with that, he did what you had wanted him to do for a very long time. He kissed you.

BatFam X Reader "New Family" Part 2

You work for Wayne Industries when you are asked to see Bruce Wayne with your boss Mr. Fox. On your way up to meet wit him, you meet someone else.

Part 1


The elevator ride seemed to take forever especially with people getting on and off of different floors. It just made you mad that it was taking so long to to get up to your floor. Though it did make you feel better that several other people were grumbling the same thing as the elevator slowly crawled up the Wayne Industries building. You were relieved when you only had one floor to go and there was no one else on the elevator with you. You sucked in a big breath and let it out. Peace.

“Nervous huh?” You shriek in surprise. You fight the instinct to attack the person that surprised you. He laughs and says “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” He looks you up and down analyzing you. “Are you also going to see the big boss?”

Still a little too stunned for words you simply nod your head. He is a tall man with strong chin and cheek bones and blue eyes. But what really caught your eye was the tuff of white hair that fell between his eyebrows. You frowned knowing who this guy was and where he got that piece of hair. This was someone you should not provoke.

“No kidding.” He prattled on without missing a beat. “I am also on my way to see Bruce Wayne.” He said Bruce Wayne with so little reverence it confirms your theory of him. This man did not work for Bruce Wayne. Everyone who worked for Mr. Wayne always had nothing but good things to say about him and always spoke about him with respect. “You don’t talk much do you?”

At that very moment the elevator doors dinged open. Without giving him a backwards glance you walk out of the elevator. You don’t like talking to people because having space and being alone kept you safe… kept others safe from you.

“Hey I’m sorry did I say something wrong?” He asked keeping up with your fast pace. Ignoring him you hurry to the front desk of the floor.

The secretary smiles at you “Name and badge please.”  

“Y/N, I am here to see Mr. Wayne.”

“Y/N, that is a pretty name. Oh hey Marcy I’m also here to see Bruce.”

“Mr. Todd how nice to see you again I can’t remember the last time I saw you. Mr. Wayne said that you are to wait until he needs you.”

Todd as in Jason Todd? Bruce Wayne’s adopted son? What was he doing here? It said around the rumor mill that Jason Todd didn’t like his adopted father and that they had had a falling out. So why was he hear.

“Y/N,” Marcy said catching your attention. “ Mr. Wayne is waiting for you in his office with Mr. Fox.”


Mr. Wayne was sitting behind a large desk with two chairs in front of it. One of the chairs was occupied by Mr. Fox. He turned his head and smiled at you encouragingly. You walked up to Mr. Wayne’s desk.

“Ms. Y/LN, It is so nice to finally meet you. Please take a set.” Mr. Wayne does not skip a beat as you take a seat and asks you to explain you GPS software and code that you are working on. That was all the prompting that you needed to launch into a full on speach. You keep an eye on Mr. Wayne changing your technique of explaining at the slightest look of confusion. By the time you are done you feel confident that you have done your job right.

“I am impressed Ms. Y/N Y/L/N, I can see that our new GPS system is in good hands. Thank you for coming in it was very enlightening and I hope that we can speak again soon.” He smiled and with that you are dismissed.

“Likewise. Thank you.” The two of you shake hands and Mr. Fox rises and walks out with you.

Both of you are almost at the door when you hear. “Marcy could you send in Jason please.”

Once you are out Mr. Fox smiles at you. “Y/N you did a very good job. I am impressed.”

“Thank you, but I still don’t understand why you wanted me to talk to him about it.”

“Let’s just say that he wanted to meet you.”

You glance at Mr. Fox. That made no sense at all why would he want to meet you and if he did why did he make you prattle on and on about code when he could have just spoken to you. It made no sense.


“So that’s her. The one that you want to be the Oracle?” Jason asked. Jason liked her plus it helped that he thought that y/n looked hot.

“Yes, that is her. What do you think about her?”

“I like her, but why should I care? What is your plan, Bruce?”

“I want you to become her friend and get her to come onto our side. We need an Oracle. Since Barbara is Batgirl now we can’t continue to rely on her it is just too much. That is why I need you to this.”

Jason nodded he understood… sort of. But if he was going to do this he was going to do this his way.

didn’t one of the pre-BvS comics basically establish as canon that bruce had an entire wayne enterprises building in metropolis laced with lead just so clark wouldn’t be able to peek in, which presumably just made it pop out more instead of making it as bruce staying in his lane and not picking a fight since it was probably the only downtown building superman couldn’t have a visual inside

like what kind of #Dramatic


Gif source:  Bruce

Imagine Bruce saving you from the collapse of the Wayne Enterprises building in Metropolis, sparking a romance between the two of you.

——— Request for anon ———

You’d been luckier than most. You would heal. Your life wouldn’t be dramatically changed aside from having to find a new job, and even then, Bruce Wayne had already begun setting up financial aids for those effected by the tragedy that struck Metropolis not a day ago. It felt strange, thinking of him now. You’d never actually met him until he pulled you from the rubble of the destroyed Wayne Enterprises building. He’d saved your life.

And you’d expected that to be the last time you’d see him, at least in person, but the person turning down the volume of the hospital room’s television wasn’t your nurse. You realize that as you open your eyes at the sound of the news fading away, only to be met with the same scruff that had found you a day before.

“Did I wake you?” he asks, a guilty look coming to his face as he apologizes, “I’m sorry.”

“N-No, Mister Wayne,” you make to straighten yourself, startled to find him there seeing as he must have taken the time out of a hectic day to come to see you, but he motions for you to stop moving and you comply seeing as you were still sore from the wounds you’d sustained, “I was just resting my eyes, is all.”

“Call me Bruce. I’m glad to see you’re all right after yesterday. Brought a bit of a get well encouragement,” Bruce nods towards the table at your side, and that’s when you notice the flowers that had been freshly sat there. “I hope you like peonies.”

You smile tiredly, but somehow more lively at the sight of the color the large bouquet brought to the softened grays and whites of the hospital room, “Thank you, Bruce, they’re beautiful.”

  • Bruce Wayne: [on a video screen] Unfortunately, I have been incapacitated. This is merely a recording I left in the Batcave to help you along your way.
  • Stephanie Brown: Then how are you talking to me?
  • Bruce Wayne: I’m not. I merely used logic to determine what questions you would ask and in what order. Then I left the appropriate responses.
  • Stephanie Brown: Oh, reall-
  • Bruce Wayne: Yes, really.
  • Stephanie Brown: Okay. I like cheeseburgers.
  • Bruce Wayne: Stop trying to test me.
  • Stephanie Brown: Empire State Building.
  • Bruce Wayne: Seriously, stop.

‘The Social Media Saga’

for @damiwayn and inspired by our A+ conversations [AO3]

It started like most city-wide incidents with them did. With a brag.

“There,” Dick smiled proudly, placing the framed photograph showing Gotham’s skyline on the desk in the batcave. It was taken from the top of the Wayne building, as high as he could climb on the radio mast without it bending under the weight of the Batman armour. God damn Bruce for going off world and leaving him to wear it again; he hated that thing with a passion. The weight of being Batman was even more literal than it was metaphorical, and he was eating twice as much just to compensate for having to carry the armour around. “Best view of the city. Nobody else gets that.”

It was true: nobody but those who spent the night on the city’s roof tiles got to see the city the way they did. He supposed that was why in his mind, Gotham was always beautiful. Why he defended it when his friends talked about how dark it was compared to their cities or joked about Batman’s home reflecting his personality. Why, in his heart, Gotham was home. On street level, there were grim alleys and litter torn streets and the grime the city slowly drowned in, the flood only held back by their attempts at heroics, but up there – up there, Gotham shone.

Lights in every building created their own constellations and patterns, bright and burning. Even on his worst days, when it felt like all they did was get beat up and barely sleep and then do the same again with no visible change in the city, that view was enough to give Dick Grayson hope.

Behind him, he heard Damian snort. “Whatever, Grayson. Next thing you’ll be making public speeches on ‘Why I love my city’ and running for mayor.”

“Please, I’d never be a politician.”

At his mentor’s laugh, Damian hid the small smile which twitched his lips by returning to his own training, striking a high tech dummy with a sword. Without turning around, he added, “And the view from the top is even better, by the way. What? Couldn’t you get up there? Tt, Grayson. Even Fatgirl could have done it.”

The smile grew on his face at Dick’s spluttering in response.

Two days later, a different picture had been placed over Dick’s in the frame, this time taken by Damian, who’s smaller size and weight meant he could crawl to the very top of the aerial mast and get an even better view of the city. Dick’s loud curse and then even louder laugh when he noticed could be heard from in the manor from all the way down in the cave.


Steph was the first one to get Instagram. Her first post was a video of Batman trying to climb an aerial mast on top of Wayne Enterprises, the metal structure swaying dangerously under his weight. In the video, he struggled to shimmy up it, the batsuit obviously clunky and hard to move in, shown in the times he fell from his perch. Eventually, he gave up, kicking it a moment later before jumping on one foot in pain.

Batgirl gained a hundred thousand followers in a week.

Inevitably, Steph passed the idea to get an Instagram account to Cass. It was the day Batgirl’s video made the front pages of every paper and internet news website in the world, going viral. Batman’s attempts to climb the mast were analysed on tv, FOX news having a debate on how this proved the vigilante problem in America was fundamentally linked to people spending too much time on the internet and getting crazy ideas, which the two girl’s laughed themselves silly at, sitting in the booth of their favorite crappy diner.

“What was he doing?” Cass asked when Steph showed her the damage, dark eyes still laughing even when her face composed itself. She had a stack of pancakes the size of her head before her, taking a bite as she waited for her friend’s response.

Steph replied with a wave of her hand, “Oh, I don’t know. Damian said something about him not being able to appreciate the view.”

When Cassandra raised a questioning eyebrow, the blonde slurped her coffee with a dismissing shrug.

“You know them,” Steph said. “They can’t be together for five minutes without it turning into a competition. We’re lucky it was just the two of them, really – if Tim would have been there too, someone would have definitely ended up falling from someplace stupid.”

“Boys,” Cass snorted.

“Exactly. Who needs them?”

“You do.”

“Well, yeah. But not those idiots.” Steph laughed, sharing a conspiratorial look with her friend. “I mean, I’ve been there, done that – not again. No thank you. The trouble gained to pleasure ratio was too off kilter, I’m staying 5,000 feet away from the Wayne boys from now on.”

“You realise you’re talking about my brother, right?” Cass asked, but there was a laugh hidden in her words, stifled by more pancakes. Steph blushed red, and Black Bat chose to save her friend by changing the subject. “So now you’re hiding from Dick?”

“I’m not hiding!” Steph protested, eyes wide. “I mean, not much. It’s funny, right? Dick will laugh.”

Raising a disbelieving eyebrow, Cass nodded in fake agreement. “Right. Of course he will. And I’m sure he’ll explain it to Batman for you when Bruce gets back.”

“Damn it,” the blonde sighed dramatically. “I’m so getting fired. Again.”


Black Bat’s posts consist mostly of selfies of her and Batgirl around Gotham, sometimes just pictures of Batgirl alone sitting with her legs dangling across rooftops, or the food they ate while on patrol. She used the sides of a mirrored building to take a selfie as she swung past once, and it became her most liked pictured within hours.

Her most popular post was, however, a video. It was a minute long, taken from a patrol with Red Robin. As he knelt in front of her and hacked a computer, Cass hummed the Mission Impossible theme tune until the electronic lock flashed green and opened.

The video ended with her whispering, “We’re in.”


Dick saw himself in the paper through Damian, who was actually laughing at breakfast as he read the article, child-like joy lighting up his face in a way Dick had never seen. He was practically giggling, and that was enough for the older man to walk forward with interest – stopping in his tracks as he saw the headline.

Snatching the paper, Dick paced, speed reading the front page with his lips set into a thin line.

“Grayson, that was mine,” Damian complained, but there was still a hint of humour in his voice. “Give it back.”

Dick just shook his head. “She didn’t.”

“She did, evidentially.”

“She didn’t.”

“She very obviously did,” Damian rolled his eyes. “I can see why my father was the detective out of the two of you.”

Dick turned back to his Robin, head shaking slightly as his hand balled into the paper. “I’m going to kill her.”

“I don’t think father would appreciate you breaking his first rule.”

“He’d make an exception.”

“Grayson,” Damian said, smirking a little again. “Lighten up. What is it you’re always saying about Batman having to change with the times? Looks to me like people are talking about him now more than ever.”

To prove his point, he pulled out his phone, searching on twitter to find the hashtag #BatmanBlunder and handing his phone over to Dick. The older man took the phone with a pout, but his lips quickly tugged upwards as he read the messages below. Some of them we’re jokes and jibes, but a majority of the tweets seemed to be laughing with him, Gothamites defending their hero against other cities, uplifting messages about even heroes failing sometimes but always trying again leaving him with tears in his eyes.

Batman was many things, but so rarely did they see the love the city had for their hero.

Damian saw him and rolled his eyes again, “Although if you really want to kill Fatgirl, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

The first time Batman and Batgirl ran into each other after the video went viral, it was Tim who somehow had a phone in his hand. He had been hanging out with Steph and Cass, roped somehow into taking a picture of the two of them doing handstands on the roof of the GCPD when Batman landed silently.

Tim hit the red button to begin recording almost without thinking about it.

“We need to talk about the video.”

Not having seen Batman’s approach, too focused on trying to stay balanced on her hands longer than Cass and slightly red in the face, Steph reacted violently to the words. With a sound that could only be described as a squawk, she tumbled from her hands – off the roof.

The sound of her screaming as she fell towards the pavement was cut off suddenly, Tim running to the edge of the roof with a shaky video capturing all of this in time to see her reappear, holding on to Robin, who had caught her before she could hit the ground.

The video of Batgirl detaching herself from a four foot Robin after her fall, embarrassment visible even through the cowl as Black Bat howled with laughter and even Batman looked to be suppressing a smile was their most popular video to date.


“I’m starting to feel left out,” Jason said, and Dick jumped a mile. He had been eating a burger, cross legged on an empty crane, listening for any trouble above the city but enjoying his break. Turning, he saw the Red Hood sauntering towards him through the inner workings of the crane, plonking down beside him a moment later, legs sticking out between the metal frame. The Hood was placed between them a second later, as Jason swiped a fry.

“Hey!” Dick snapped out of his surprise, holding his meal more protectively. “Those are mine, Jay.”

“You can afford more.”

Shaking his head, Dick regarded his brother carefully. Things were better than they were between them, and the closeness which had been slowly building only increased sevenfold while Bruce wasn’t in the picture. Jason was even patrolling with Tim, last he had heard. A lot of skeletons had been put to rest, for good this time, but Dick treated his brother a little like quicksand – always cautious of where he stood.

Ignoring the fry theft, he asked instead. “What do you mean ‘left out’?”

“I didn’t realise we were all becoming celebrities now,” Jason replied breezily. He had been looking out over Gotham, but turned with a smile, more genuine than any Dick has seen in years, “Nice going, B-man. I think that mast is a fitting arch nemesis.”

“Shut up,” Dick laughed, shaking his head and knocking his brother’s shoulder with his own. Truth be told, he thought he had heard every variation of a joke about the video in the three weeks since its release, but laughed fresh that time. It was good to joke with his brother again.

Jason went on, “No, really. Excellent performance.”

“No one was supposed to see,” Dick stage whispered dramatically, earning a snort of laughter from the other man. He turned just in time to see Jay laughing, eyes scrunched up and head thrown back, the sound so light and free and like he used to be, back when he wore the Robin colors and they were brothers. Sort of. Now they were sort-of brothers again, and that was enough for Dick.

“Does this mean I get to make one too?” Jason asked, “I mean if Batgirl, Black Bat and Robin do, surely it’s only fair-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dick backtracked, using his hands for emphasis. “Damian has one too now? That’s it.” With a huff, he pulled out his phone, sending off a quick text. He sighed, turning back to Jason. “I’m the one left out, now. I can’t exactly make Batman an Instagram, I like living too much and Bruce is already going to flip when he gets back.”

At his brother’s pouting face, Jason shrugged. “So? You have more than one suit, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know he’s away doing I-don’t-want-to-know what and asked you to take up the mantle, but that doesn’t mean Nightwing can’t still have some fun, does it?”

Jason’s grin was infectious, and Dick found himself smiling deviously back, the world opening at his feet.


Red Hood’s first video was ten seconds long, and the first one directly calling another one of the Batfam out in the caption, which simply read: ‘Putting the other Robin in his place #ThatsForStealingMyColor’.

It showed him landing on a rooftop and sneaking up on Red Robin who stood at it’s edge, yelling “THINK FAST!” before pushing the other vigilante off the roof.

As he falls, Red Robin’s words can be made out on the video as Jason put the phone over the ledge to track his movement, floundering just in frame.

“Fuuuuuck! Hood!”

Red Robin had grappled out of his fall and swung back towards the attacker he named, the video cutting out to Jason’s manic laughter as he began to run away, back across the rooftops.


Nightwing’s Instagram was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

It was harmless enough, consisting mostly of selfies – at least five a night, by anyone’s count. Then came the trend of posing with villain’s after he had defeated them.

It started with Mr. Freeze. After a fight which left Gotham First Bank in a thick layer of ice, he posted a picture of himself with the villain being lead off my police in the background.

He posted it with the caption: ‘Just dealt with this cool customer. Luckily the boys in blue are here to put him on Ice! #Freeze #ItsThePolice #IceIceBaby’.

Second came the Riddler, who’s cane Nightwing spun in his hands in the photograph as the outraged villain could be seen raging in a trap of his own creation behind the vigilante - ‘This word can mean a boy in blue, but equally a metal too. What am I? #RiddleMeThat #TheAnswerIsGonnaBeHereInFive #SeeYouNextBreakout’

After that was Ivy, who was out of frame for the picture, but the devastation she had left in her wake evident behind Nightwing. Even he bore the affects of the fight on his face, a deep cut below his lip and green streak across his face from a spore she had created.

This time, the caption said: ‘I was going to ask her for a selfie for my Instagram, but I think she’s more of a Vine person #ShameThat’

Penguin was the latest, and most atrocious, victim of his Instagram puns. The Iceberg Lounge shone as Nightwing took a selfie, the villain unconscious and tied to a beam beside him. The caption was his worst by far:

‘Waddle I do now you’re out of my hair? I’d worry about you flying the coop, but, well … #BirdsOfAFeather #JustChillin #HappyFeet’

Sitting at her computers on a rare quiet night, Barbara was laughing at his posts, reading through them with only a hint of secondhand embarrassment. She shook her head and winced at the last one, sucking air between her teeth.

“Hunk Wonder, that is bad.”

“Not you too,” Tim’s voice sighed; she turned to see him sliding down her roof hatch, landing deftly and looking slightly exasperated. He walked over, nodding to her screen. “They’ve all gone insane. This is madness.”

At his mild hysteria, Barbara just nodded towards the coffee pot he had been eyeing up on arrival, giving him a minute to grab a mug and a chair before she spoke. “Come on, they’re not hurting anybody. It’s kinda funny.”

“I’ve been pushed off four buildings this week.”

Barbara was barely able to disguise her burst of laughter as a cough, unsneakily averting her eyes back to the screen and scrolling through a few more of Dick’s posts. In the selfies, he mostly smiled, face lit up like a Christmas tree as he beamed at the camera. It warmed her heart, just a little.

“That’s because Jason’s an asshole,” Barbara replied, to which he grunted.

“And Damian. And Steph. And-”

“They’re all assholes,” Barbara amended, but he smiled back at her with the concession. “But I mean,” she nodded towards the pictures on the screen. “How often do we get to be proud of what we do? I know it’s for a cause and noble and all – but we give a lot to this city. We sweat and bleed and hurt doing what we do, and how often do we get to smile at winning?”

Besides himself, Tim found himself begrudgingly nodding back. She was right, her enthusiasm for what they do consistent, but her appreciation of the moments in between more refined than any of theirs. He knew she missed it. Even for the few short months when he had quit being Robin it was almost unbearable, the itching at the back of his mind always telling him to be out there doing something.

Barbara looked at him curiously, “You’re the only one not on the web now. How come? You’re in some of their videos anyway.”

“Plausible deniability,” he answered. “When Batman comes back and sees all this, I’ll be the only one not grounded until I’m forty.”

Oracle inclined her head in his direction. “Point.”

“Well,” he said, standing. He shook the empty cup in her direction and received another nod in response to his silent thanks; he liked to hang out in the clocktower when everything and everyone else got too loud, and they could talk without needing words more often than not these days. “I’d better get going. I want to check nothing else has been set on fire shooting those stupid videos.”

“See you next Tuesday!” Barbara called over her shoulder as he left, eyes returning to her computer screen. He left as quietly as he sat as her eyes returned to scanning the pictures – only for her eyebrows to hit the roof as she came across a picture of a shirtless Nightwing wearing only his mask, hashtags about working out and thousands of likes and comments from pretty girls lasting for miles beneath the post.

If she knew it meant anything, she would be jealous, but Barbara just chuckled. None of the others would dare to go that far, but he was used to taking risks without a net.

“Only you, Dick. Only you.”


Robin’s most popular video, before it got taken down, was of him driving the Batmobile through a fast food drive through. In the passenger seat, a giggling Batgirl captured both the tiny driver ordering their food in a gritty impersonation of the Bat, and the drive-thru workers stunned expression as they pulled up.

She barely kept it together during the filming, the slight shake of the camera attributed to the pressure of trying to laugh silently, not shoddy film-making, thank you very much.

Robin, for his part, kept a straight face throughout. Coolly pulling in, he ignored the face of the worker, looking dead ahead with his hands on the wheel as he began to order. “I’ll have two double burgers, fries, lemonade and an orange juice.”

It was then he turned to the employee, who still hadn’t mustered up the will to even talk, hand frozen over the till. Robin looked the girl dead in the eyes.

“And make it quick.”

Suffice to say, their food arrived in less than a minute, the girl not even wishing them a nice day in her scared stupor as they zoomed off, Robin loudly slurping his soda as the video ended.

When the Justice League returned to Earth from their mission, it was almost four in the morning. Batman went home without checking the news, falling into a dreamless sleep well into the next afternoon.

He woke to a silent house, walking down the hall and finding his kid’s rooms suspiciously empty – which was strange considering for the first time in years, there should be four of them under the same roof. The thought was oddly comforting, and he had wanted to spend some time with Dick, Damian, Tim and Cass before they inevitably went their separate ways again, forced apart by missions or teams or life outside of the mask – some days, it felt like all any of them did was leave.

Even Alfred was absent, which in itself struck as fundamentally wrong. Bruce’s steps grew quicker and more frantic as he closed in on the kitchen, wanting to check for any signs of life before he got worried and went to the cave to call them all in.

In the kitchen, he found a note from Alfred saying the butler was out shopping – not on his usual day, which meant something, Bruce wasn’t sure what yet. Next to the note was a cup of coffee, a plate of toast, and a newspaper facing down to the table.

With caution, Bruce sat, feeling something was wrong in his stomach. It was centred on the newspaper, he was sure; slowly, trying to settle himself, he calmly drank the coffee and ate the toast, waiting for the explosion he knew was coming.

Bruce turned over the paper and read the headline.

His back stiffened instantly, every muscle in his body screamingly tense in a heartbeat, but aside from that and the way the whites of his eyes became more visible, there was no outward signs of rage. Almost with a forced calmness, he read the article slowly, the paper underneath his hands getting more and more screwed up as his fists closed in anger, tearing by the time he finished it.

Bruce stood, turned, and shouted at the top of his lungs. “DICK!”

Unknown to him, one of his children were watching this moment from their hiding space in a ceiling vent, videoing his reaction. From her space, silently crouched, Cassandra concealed her laughter at Bruce’s outburst, but ended the recording as Batman stormed out of the room, tearing towards the cave.

Nightwing was no longer the golden child, of that she was sure.

Cass didn’t post the video to her Instagram, knowing it would be too telling – and besides, it was never really about the public anyway. None of this was. No, she sent the video to her brothers and sisters, knowing Bruce’s reaction was something they would want to see and understanding finally that all this showboating and pranks gone wild were not to gain popularity in Gotham, or embarrass one another, or even just for the hell of it, as Jason claimed his to be.

It was about them. It was for one another, sharing memories and laughter and carving into the Gotham skyline that they were there, and they were proud of themselves, and they were, finally, happy with that.


Joker Doesn't Eat: Chapter Two: GunFire🔥💀

I don’t own DC or any characters.

Joker’s tired of being ignored by Batman
So…he decides to kick up a little fuss.
A little fuss that may just cost a couple of people their lives..

Song for this one is Stephen by Kesha https://open.spotify.com/track/6SNGTANQlIZoVIHB6kORVS

Bruce had gotten a dreadful feeling as soon as he’d walked away, so it was no surprise when Alfred called him on the way back to the manor.
“Master Wayne!“Alfred said, his voice was panicked

“Stay calm Alfred, What is it?“Bruce asked carefully making a turn towards the manor.
“Are you headed to the manor?! You’ll have you turn around. Go to the Wayne Enterprizes building. Make it quick"Alfred asked quickly. Bruce sighed quietly.
“It’s Miss Kyle, Joker’s got her”
Bruce’s heart must have stopped for a second, he put the phone on the passenger seat and he sat in the car, still driving but completely speechless,
He was angry, would Jack really go so low as to kidnap Bruce’s on again off again girlfriend. Oh yes he would,
That little..clown How could he?
After everything, how could he kidnap Selina Bruce knew he shouldn’t be surprised but he still felt a pang of betrayal in his chest. Gotham’s drab outlay was a welcome distraction as he cruised the streets openly. He may have had to save Selina but he didn’t have to do it quickly after all, he was unsure how to converse with Joker.,
Should he embrace Joker, apologize and tell him that he won’t cart him off to arkham this time either?
Should he beat the living daylights out of him for committing yet another crime?
Bruce stared up at Wayne Enterprises, he could see the faint silhouette of joker holding a seemingly calm and well dressed Selina close to the edge
Bruce mentally slapped himself, he should have invested in that railing.
Stupid Lucius, stupid Lucius, idiotic Lucius.
No, he could NOT be freaking out right now.
None of Joker’s crimes had affected him like this
Maybe by spending a night with jack he’d awoken feelings..feelings that he possibly couldn’t ever forget about.
His plan had backfired.
“Batman!“Commisioner Gordon greeted,gesturing him over.
Bruce took another deep breath and settled himself..
What..whatever feelings he had, they had to be cast aside for now. “Jim…"he said avoiding the knowing gaze of his old friend.
“Are you alright Batman?..you seem a bit tense"he asked tilting his head.
Bruce mentally cursed himself.
“I’m fine Commisioner, what’s the situation here?”
Bruce asked flawlessly, masking his emotion with cold emotions.
Jim wasn’t taken aback, after all he was used to Bruce’s cold behaviour.
“The clown’s got a woman held at gun point”
“Okay, has he said anything?”
“The usual, stating ‘his bat’ should be here for the show, but he’s really gone mental, to be honest..I’ve never seen him this unhinged before"Jim said truthfully rubbing the back of his neck.
Bruce felt guilt hit him like a kick to the groin.
“He is insane..“Bruce trailed off.
Commisioner Gordon nodded.
"I agree,he’s a disgusting monster and I was planning on having my men gun him down execution style but I thought you’d handle Joker better”
“Thanks Jim,I’ll handle it”
Bruce shot his grappling hook onto one of the poles placed in front of the building.
He looked back at a smiling Jim and he knew.
He knew he had to be cold, he had to lie to himself, joker was a violent criminal.
He may have once been the love of Bruce’s life and his only real soulmate, but that all ended once he fell into that pit. Well it should have.
Bruce braced himself for joker’s taunts.
He stood on the room facing behind joker.
Joker was laughing, loudly.
He was half hunched over, still pressing the purple and green gun firmly to Selina’s head.
He was laughing so hard it looked agonisingly painful.
"Let her go Joker"Bruce spoke cold but was unable to keep the slight quiver from his voice.
"Well Batsy, I’m afraid I can’t do that just yet"he replied smartly, grinning at Bruce.
Bruce squared joker’s cold stare with his own.
"So what’s the plan? Where’s the joke in this?"Bruce asked carefully, if he could get information he would.
"I’ve got a bad case of A.D.D.,I’ve been this way since 17 I’ve got a fxxked up brain and a really bad attitude,I blame it on my drug abuse,So, you don’t wanna be Too close to me ‘Cause you might see my broken heart,I am aware that I am an asshole,I really don’t care about all of that though I’m living my life the way that I want to.And you can’t deny That honestly I’m just like you"Joker sung menacingly
Bruce fought the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Did this guy seriously answer a question with falling in reverse lyrics.
(Btw lyrics are from Just Like You by Falling In Reverse)
"You’re nothing like me Joker"Bruce spat angrily.
"But Bats, we’re oh so alike both heroes of our own realms, the point of this is…join me Batfreak”
Joker extended a gloved hand to Bruce.
“Be an Agent of Chaos Bats”
“No..No, I’ll never..never join you in anything"Bruce hissed.
Joker looked hurt for a split second but then he laughed.
"Always the noble one sweetheart, well never mind eh..so who’s it gonna be, me or her?"Joker asked pointing to himself and then Selina.
"Neither, think about this Joker..What are you going to get out of this?”
“A lot of things, an upset butler, an upset exboyfriend, an upset ex girlfriend and hopefully the mental downward spiral of my favourite bat"he explained casually.
"As if anyone apart from psychopathic Quinn would date you!"Selina scoffed.
Joker rolled his eyes at her.
"Tough crowd tonight eh Bats?”
“Joker…"Bruce trailed off unsure of what to say.
He didn’t want joker dead.
"Here ya go Batsy baby, if you’re not making a desicion, I’m gonna make it for you"Joker cackled throwing Selina to Bruce harshly.
Bruce quickly grabbed Selina and managed to set her down on the roof floor gently.
Frantically Bruce looked around.
"Joker!"He shouted.
He heard a cackle from somewhere.
Phew he wasn’t dead.
Bruce’s face paled as he saw joker falling from Wayne enterprises, gun held against his head.
Imediately springing into action he dived off the building, ignoring Selina’s shouts telling him to just let joker die.
Bruce felt himself panic, he knew, he knew he wasn’t going to get to joker in time.
He was too far down.
"Let’s get this party started Brucie!"Joker screamed as he feel further and further down..
T W O H O U R S. L A T E R

“Batman I really don’t understand why you’re so worked up, Joker died-”
Selina was cut off harshly by Bruce.
“He’s not dead..He’s dying.."He spat venomously.
"Does it matter? He almost killed me!"Selina spat back. "It was your own fault Miss Kyle, you shouldn’t have been around alleyways so freely, you certainly shouldn’t have gotten into his car and you definitely shouldn’t have let him fall!!"Bruce screeched sending his fist into a GCPD wall. Blood dripped dangerously from his knuckles.
Why was he so angry?,he wasn’t sure he even knew anymore.
"You’re in love with him?"Selina stated calmly kicking her feet up casually.
"Shut Up! You Know NOTHING"he hissed.
It was unlike batman to get so angry,Commisioner Gordon thought watching his old friend throw chairs against the wall in rage.
"Go and see him Batman.”
“No…I don’t care about The Joker..I care about..about”
“Doesn’t matter..” About Jack…. Meanwhile
Joker lay in the hospital bed, 4 broken ribs
A broken leg, bleeding on the brain and a bullet lodged in his stomach.
His pulse was faint and fading….

T W O. D A Y S. L A T E R
“Master Wayne?"Alfred questioned placing a hand on his shoulder gently.
"Do you have any news on Joker?"Bruce asked weakly.
"Yes I’m afraid he’s ****** * **** ********”
“Really?"Bruce questioned raising an eyebrow.
"Yes really, Commissioner Gordon called, said something about you putting your mind at ease, said you should visit The Joker sir” “I’ll..I’ll think about it"Bruce murmured back ushering Alfred out of his dark bedroom.
It’s a mess, and so is Bruce.
It’s getting harder each day to fight the urge to protect Jack, to bring him back to the manor and take proper care of him.
The next time he saw joker, if he ever did.
He vowed.
He vowed to take better care of the man he loved.