wayfarer clear

C- I was walking between classes to my 7th period, I saw this white guy sitting in the courtyard and I was In a semi rush so my thinking was a bit jumbled, but anyway he was extremely cute. Like tumblr boy cute. He looked like a straight up model. If models looked like normal people. Skinny, brunet, cute Nerdy glasses (like wayfarers but with clear lenses) and sweater and jeans.. I know I sound like I’m making a big deal out of him but you gotta understand, I’ve NEVER seen a white guy as cute as him at my school before. Anyway my initial thought about him was “damn, that boy is fine” then as an afterthought I thought “bet he doesn’t live where I do” and that kinda stung. It’s like I unwittingly reminded myself of the socio-economic divide between this overtly suburban white male and myself, a black (light skinned if you wanted to know) female who lives in the slums and is trying to rebuild her life with her family. 

This leads me to conclude that poor and black can’t mix with well off and white in this world. I’m in a senior in high school. White boys especially aren’t open minded or socially conscious at this stage of their lives. Plus I live in a small town where it’s known to have a racist past and lesser so present. I’m from a big cosmopolitan city which enables me to think and love beyond race. Interracial dating where I live is like being the only smart person locked in a room full of dumb people. This world is so broken. I shouldn’t have to think things like that when I see a cute guy. That’s not normal. That’s crushing to my spirit. My young fragile spirit and my emotions.