way too in love with you

I’ve been thinking lately about my childhood and how my SM developed.. it’s strange because my twin sister doesn’t really remember a time when she actually talked to other people, but I do.

I remember my first days of school, I was actually excited (nervous too, I’ve always been a very nervous person lol) but yeah, I was all up for making friends and I tried at first, but was always rejected.. because I wanted to hang out with the boys, and that seemed to be frowned upon by adults (my parents, mostly) and even the boys I tried talking to were like “eww! a girl!! noo go away” and just yeah I just remember from a very early age being told that girls should hang out with girls and boys with boys.

I don’t know if that attitude is just a cultural issue around here or maybe it had to do with the school’s environment (a catholic school, I realize now a lot of the things they did just seem wrong now in many ways, and that also gave me a lot of other issues, I don’t want to have anything to do with that school anymore and I’ve distanced myself from religion now– but I’m rambling, that’s another story)

So I eventually gave up and started trying to talk to girls but I just never felt like I really belonged, and I had this feeling that they didn’t either, I always felt different, I had no interests in common with them and we just didn’t connect.

I’ve always been a very anxious and sensitive person. As a child I just cried a lot for many different reasons, so as time went by and I kept being rejected again and again it started to get to me, the alternative of hanging out with girls didn’t interest me as much and even if I tried I didn’t feel accepted either, I started to wonder if I was doing or saying something wrong to people and that was why I was always rejected but I couldn’t find out what it was so I started to keep to myself more and more. I felt really sad and frustrated a lot of the time and the whole situation started ruining my self esteem. Kids around me noticed how I barely talked to anyone and I started to be known as “the girl who doesn’t talk”.

It just made me feel worse, and I started to feel trapped in a vicious cycle, I wanted to talk to people, but when I did I was rejected, so I didn’t talk, but then I was seen as a weird kid, bullying started happening, and I just kept feeling worse and talking less and less until going completely mute. And I mean completely, All form of communication soon became impossible for me (example. teachers would ask me something and most times I wouldn’t even shake my head to respond) because I had the feeling inside me that I was going to be punished or mocked for doing the wrong thing, or saying things the wrong way so I somehow came to the conclusion that it was better to just not talk at all.

Somewhere around when I started elementary school I met my first and best friend, I don’t remember how we met but friendship just spontaneously happened and since then we hung out all the time. She was the first, and to this day still the only person I could freely talk to outside of my direct family.

In the recent 2 years or so, my friend has told me she(he? we haven’t talked about their pronouns) would love to transition and look and be like a man, and that it’s something she’s also felt since childhood. Learning that now, I think it’s no wonder we got along so well from the beginning :’D

I’ve started talking to some guys too, and I think I have 1 or 2 of them I can consider friends, but I don’t see them very often and when I do I still don’t feel as “free” to talk as I do with my best friend. I’m starting to feel a bit more comfortable with myself but I still don’t know how to get to that comfortable state in a friendship when I can talk freely and it still makes me feel very lonely, it’s still really hard to make friends. ( this is totally not a post trying to get to know another trans people to befriend. ok maybe it is. I would love to make more friends even if its just on tumblr, it’s actually so much easier for me to start talking via text )

So yeah this whole thing makes me realize my selective mutism is probably very closely related to my trans-ness. I didn’t notice the signs before or tried to ignore them, or felt them as if there was something wrong with me, that I was just weird for liking the things I did and wanting to do “boy” things, but as I’ve recently been learning about this topic and looking at the happenings and feelings in my life I’m coming to terms that 99.99999% sure.. I am a trans guy.

anonymous asked:

if bakugou and kirishima grew up together, can we really assume it would go well? i mean, kiri was a bit like deku in some ways, and if bakugou's childhood relationship with /him/ is anything to go by....

I’ve actually thought about this a whole damn lot - in the sense that this is an AU I’ve been thinking about for months and for a real long time I was super ambivalent about it because it could have actually gone both ways? It’s honestly one of the reasons why I found the idea so entertaining, since Bakugou is a complete asshat this might as well have been the only childhood-friends AU that could have ended my ship altogether hahaha incredible, usually that sort of AUs are all about the fluff lmao

Anyway now that I have Kirishima’s backstory I feel a bit more confident about the possibility of it ending well! Ah, this is assuming they’d always known each other like Deku and Bakugou have, but to be honest I think it could go fairly well whatever period of their lives they’d have met? The thing about Bakugou and Kirishima is that they like each other independently from their quirks, and that’s all the difference you need between their relationship and the one Bakugou and Deku have. 

Bakugou likes in Kirishima the strength to stand up for himself and speak out and not let others walk over him while still never putting himself above others, his confidence and his trust in others and himself; Kirishima likes in Bakugou his one track mind towards his objectives, his strength both physical and psychological, his “live without regrets” way of going about life - these are things both of them have always had, quirks or not, UA or not. They’re also things that with time you realize aren’t actually true about them, but the first time they met, when they decided that they wanted to be friends, that was what they saw - and I think whatever age they met, that’d be what they’d see in each other anyway, so I think they’d still get along. Kirishima even said that he doesn’t mind Bakugou’s habit of picking fights left and right!

There’s also how Bakugou isn’t the type to judge a person based on how far they can push their quirks at the moment/how well they know how to use it - even a seemingly silly quirk can be a great one when properly trained, he isn’t stupid enough to look at Kirishima’s hardening and scoff at it. And be it Kirishima’s insecurities or Bakugou’s bullying, I think growing up together and finding their quirks together (even training together) might have actually made both of them better, in the end.

A Bakugou that’s just found his quirk would look at hardening, the one thing that can oppose him, and think “this is a strong quirk”. And when you remember that it’s not their quirks that got them to be friends in canon, in this scenario too Bakugou would already consider Kirishima worth it for other reasons, and that would mean he’d have no problems with telling him that he can do better, he can be better - and the younger you make them the more this is bound to end up well, imho. Same goes for Kirishima seeing Bakugou start acting like a bully, I think. He wouldn’t keep quiet about it, Kirishima, and even in canon Bakugou does stop being an ass when Kirishima tells him to quit it so, again, the younger you make them the more this should work, for me. Kirishima would be inspired by Bakugou, Bakugou calmed down by Kirishima, they would have probably just started their growth way earlier if they’d known each other as kids

Then again, it’s not like we know for sure. All I know is that Kirishima has liked Bakugou since the start, even though he had straight out told All Might that he thought Bakugou was crazy, and that Bakugou has only ever bullied Deku just because he couldn’t read him at all and that made him convinced Deku was making fun of him, which is a problem he would never have with baby Kirishima

It’s just optimistic suppositions tho haha


4

gif dump 2/??

the number one argument i hear being used against romione is ‘they’re not intellectually compatible and hermione wouldn’t be satisfied with ron’s mediocrity’ like ?????????? what books have you read????? where are you getting these ideas?????? why are you dismissing someone’s intelligence just because it’s shown in a different way??????? why are you acting like the only way to be intelligent is academically??????? why?????

like there are so many different ways to be intelligent, just because it’s not shown in an academic sense doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. please stop.

5

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU - 4 Koma

Baby Bump

Yuuri is used to gaining weight. He’s not so familiar with pregnancy.

well, y’all asked for it! :P

*If the comics are hard to read, tap on the image first to bring it up in the Tumblr viewer, THEN right click view image for the unaltered slightly higher resolution.

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IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s a Yuri!!! on Ice AU, Yuuri-centric with end-game polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri gets married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS and timeline of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

A SUPER DETAILED world-building headcanons post on ABO+ in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

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Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

6

mist and shadow
cloud and shade
all shall fade

all shall fade

2

will i ever contribute to the fandom with something actually good? no

10

tag meme: name ten favorite characters from ten different fandoms.

“Have you moved on?” He whispered, almost as if he didnt want to hear the answer.

She paused, but only for a short moment.

“I….I’m not sure. Its changed, everything’s changed. Its been 9 months now. I dont think of you every time I see the ocean, or think about how freaking cold you must be all the time.” She laughed. “But… it’s when I’m lonely, or need something to think about. I automatically go to you. Over that past year, I think I trained myself to do this. But I cant, not anymore. Its not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

“Everything. Us. The fact that whenever I think of someone to fall back on, it’s you.“

—  It’s always been you | a.m

I love their friendship so much and I’m disappointed in myself for not drawing something for them yet.

Lance is down with the flu and feeling extremely homesick; Hunk is the World’s Best  Friend and does his best to take care of him :’)

Long version under the cut:

Keep reading

hiiii, here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of february. I recommend that you read these great fics in march, if you haven’t already. there are SO many good and unique AUs this round, so please check them out!!

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)


1. Saved Tonight (30k)**

Harry is the world’s most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis’s biggest fan. Louis hasn’t written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It’s probably destiny.

2. Too Real to Fake It (82k)*

With seven years of blissful marriage behind them and four wonderfully unique kids to brag about, Harry and Louis seem to finally have life all figured out and under control. How much more real could it get?

Very real it turns out, when Harry reluctantly leaves home for a 5 day business trip leaving Louis to manage their rambunctious, hyperactive household. Do they really have it all under control or are they just faking it?

Featuring all the usual suspects, inside jokes, embarrassing moments and of course, Harry and Louis’ wild antics + the addition of their four equally wild and outrageous kids.

3. When You Look Like That (16k)*

“You… you still have the dress form I got you for your eighteenth birthday? You’ve kept it for ten years, Harry?” Louis’ eyes flick around Harry’s studio. It’s big and modern, with floor to ceiling windows that help flood the room in bright sunlight, just like the lobby. However, he can’t stop staring at the faded, but present, heart surrounding the “H + L” written delicately in Louis’ handwriting in the center of the mannequin.

Louis is a songwriter who is nominated for a Grammy and he needs a suit. Fast. He seeks out help from a very popular, very mysterious designer who just so happens to be his ex-boyfriend.

Keep reading