way to ruin someones self esteem

I know this has been stated before but I have Thoughts™. 

Lance has stated a couple times that he really looks up to Shiro and that he’s his hero. Lance tries to impress Shiro, tries to get Shiro to give him a chance, but Shiro, bless him, consistently brushes Lance off. It’s not malicious, it’s just dismissive, which might be worse. If you can’t get more than just apathy from someone who affects you so much, it’s frustrating. 

Lance is seen as comic relief, despite establishing himself as a good strategist and loyal team member. Yeah, he’s a goof, but he’s also deeply insecure, using jokes and flirting to hide his doubts (relatable tbh). Always taking a backseat for Shiro’s attention is already grating on Lance. Hardly being listened to by your teammate and leader isn’t conducive to good self-esteem, and it’s showing in how Lance doubts his own benefit to Voltron.

Keep reading

NCT Dream reaction to finding out their partner’s bias is someone else in the group


Anon: “NCT Dream reaction to finding out their partner’s bias is someone else in the group” I like this one I hope you do it soon :) I love your block

Anon: Can you do first kiss for Nct dream? And also Nct dream reaction to finding out that their girlfriend’s bias is someone else?

Hi! Thank you for requesting this! I hope you like it! Tell me what you think :-) if you want more members, just ask. My inbox is always open for requests or if you just want to rant lol. Bisous, Flo xx


Originally posted by 10795

“What? Jisung is your favourite? What? What? Huh?”

Mark would literally have no words. When he found you watching their latest performance on your phone and gushing about how cute and talented Jisung was, Mark wouldn’t be able to get his head around it. It wasn’t that he was jealous or thought Jisung wasn’t cute or talented bc yes the fuck he is lol, but he wouldn’t get why you were dating him, if you preferred another member in his unit.


Originally posted by haechannie

“Haechan? Yeah, good choice. Same”

He wouldn’t be bothered at all about your slight soft spot for Haechan. I see him as being quite mature and not being overly jealous and protective if you spoke to other guys, let alone have Haechan as your bias. To be honest, he’d agree with you and say that Haechan was under appreciated and he was happy that you liked him, because he deserved it.


Originally posted by princerenjun

“Whose your bias? Let me guess. Renjun? What? How did I know? You’re always staring at him, babe”

You wouldn’t have to tell Jeno for him to know who your bias was. The first time you met the rest of his members, it was clear you liked Renjun (as a member not in a romantic way btw) You’d be staring at him in awe and complimenting him all the time. Jeno wouldn’t be jealous, but would easily get annoyed if you spoke about his other members, more than you spoke about him.


Originally posted by haechanz

“Y/N! Why do you like Mark? Why? Why can’t it be me?”

It’d be so obvious that Haechan was upset that your bias was someone else than him. In a relationship, he’d like to be appreciated and loved so it would ruin his self-esteem a bit when he found out you preferred Mark over him. He would try not to let it affect your relationship, but would always get a little protective of you whenever you were around Mark.


Originally posted by catweeen

“Oh did you know that Chenle has really bad hygiene and never showers?”

Jaemin would try to put you off Chenle but basically exposing him lol. He’d tell you all of his secrets and bad habits in hope that you’d give in and say that you liked him more. Of course, he’d only be joking, but there would always be an underlying sense of jealousy in Jaemin. He wouldn’t be able to understand what made Chenle better than him, a bit like Mark, so sometimes he’d be moody if you spoke about him too much.


Originally posted by nakamotens

“Why are you telling me this Y/N? I don’t care if you think Jeno looks good! What about me?”

Even though it would sometimes sound like Chenle was jealous, he really wouldn’t be. Like Haechan, he’d just wanted to loved and cared for and appreciated in a relationship. He wouldn’t care about your relationship to other people or who your bias was or your favourite idols, as long as you complimented him too and reassured him that you’d never leave him for them.


Originally posted by hansoulji

“Y/N! Why don’t you just go and marry Jaemin then? It definitely sounds like you want to!”

Out of everyone, he’d be the most jealous and upset upon hearing that your bias was Jaemin. He wouldn’t like the fact that you liked someone other than him, so would quickly get upset and pouty if you ever brought Jaemin up randomly in a conversation. Expect a lot of furrowed eyebrows and pouts on his behalf, and a lot of kisses and cuddles on yours.

normalize imperfect skin

normalize makeup-free faces

i use ‘normalize’ here because i doubt i’ll ever feel like my eczema is beautiful and i don’t blame anyone for not looking at a huge zit on my nose and sighing dreamily about it so “make these things beautiful” seems less important and realistic than just…make them normal, make them things people don’t have to feel ashamed or embarassed about being seen with.

not everyone has the money to spend on expensive makeup or skin care products. not everyone has skin conditions that are easily fixable or simple to hide. not everyone feels like putting the effort in to maintaining totally perfect skin, even if they have the money and the body chemistry to make it happen. i’d be willing to be that the MAJORITY of people fall into one those categories and we only just feel like that’s not the case because what we see on tv, in magazines, even on social media depending on who we follow are people with soft, smooth, flawless and blemish-free skin.

and this is not a dis on those people because they’re not doing anything wrong by doing with their own body what they want to do with it–that’s their right and it’s cool! but what isn’t cool is the pressure that so many of us feel to look perfect all the time. what isn’t cool is that our self-esteem is so often connected to these little skin 'flaws’ and conditions that very often we can’t control or that going out with a bare face is something you have to build up bravery to be able to do.

people should be able to go out without makeup on and not feel self-conscious about it. people should be able to have a zit or an eczema breakout or whatever the hell your body has decided to do to you today and, while maybe not celebrating it, we shouldn’t have to feel like it means it’s the end of the world or let it stop us from going out and just buying some damn groceries.

we need to see more makeup-free faces in the media (in magazines, shows, movies, everywhere) and have skin that is slightly less than photoshop-flawless represented as much as skin that is but we also need to all work to be a little less judgmental ourselves. if we see someone in our every day life without makeup, with eczema or a zit or something else going on with their skin, and our first thought is something negative, we need to shut that thought down as it happens. we need to be on the lookout for that kind of thinking and correct it when we catch ourselves doing it.

there’s nothing wrong with not wearing makeup and zits happen and skin conditions exist but there’s something seriously wrong with how much we connect our value and self-esteem with these things. a zit should not have the power to ruin someone’s day. it shouldn’t be strong enough to turn someone who feels good about themself into someone who doesn’t. but because of the importance we place on having skin that is flawless and perfectly put together, that zit is as big as a tank that’s headed right in the direction of our self-esteem to run it over. the way to stop that–to stop making people feel so damn bad about it–is to normalize skin that is not 'perfect’ and 'flawless’ and to stop placing these expectations on how people SHOULD look because people should look however they are most comfortable looking. we need to stop thinking that means the same thing for everyone.

Standard of Black Hair

I am a huge hair enthusiast. In high school, I was voted most likely to have a different hair style ever week. I usually did have a different hair style every week. I loved to try new things and new hairstyles that were different. But, being a girl of color, I got a lot of criticism on my choices of hair styles. It seemed like no matter what, someone had something negative to say.

When I was very young, I had very long hair. However I went to live with my grandmother and she cut it all off because it was too difficult to maintain. I went to predominately white school and my hair got a lot of attention.

“Why does your hair look like that?”

“Can’t you fix it?”

“Your hair is a distraction to the other students.”

Fast forward to 2008. I have been living with my dad in a much more culturally diverse area. Up until this point people have made decisions for me on what my hair should look like. Now I have the option of deciding for myself.

“You are too young to have color in your hair”

“Why didn’t you get the straight braids?”

2010. At this point in time I am experimenting with different kinds of fake hair. I really love the way ponytails look.

“Your hair looks so fake.”

“Black women never have real hair that long.”

Summer of 2011. I was on a meditation retreat (I’m Buddhist) in which we had no contact with the outside world for a week. During that time I did not straighten my hair. I just let it do its thing. This is at the end of the retreat when we had a talent show. I performed the song Poor Unfortunate Souls. Everyone loved it. But when I came home to show people pictures of my performance, everyone focused on how my hair looked.

“OH MY GOD, weren’t there any combs out there?”

“How could you let your hair get like that?”

At the beginning of summer 2012, I thought I might like to lock my hair. (I did a really terrible job)

“You look like a boy”

“If you get dreads you will never find a job”

I realize locks are a long term commitment and I like to change my hair too much. Instead I start wearing wigs. A NEW HAIRSTYLE EVERY DAY!

“This would be cute if it weren’t for the purple.”

“You are too young to wear wigs”

“What’s wrong with your natural hair?”

“Are you trying to be white?”

I did not straighten my hair for Christmas of 2012

“You aren’t going to get your hair done for the holiday?”

“You can’t go out of the house like that”

After growing my hair out for some time I decide I want to try it short.

“Why would you do that”

“Boys like girls with long hair.”

But I still where wigs sometimes.

“This would look better if it was your real hair”

“You look like your mom.” (this is ment as an insult. My mother has a problematic history and is very troubled. While I do not hold anything against her, I do not like being compared to her.)

I did my hair nicely for a mother-Daughter Banquet that I attended with my grandmother

“You look like a white girl.”

“You shouldn’t wear blond hair that light.”

I also enjoy neon

“You look ridiculous.”

“Never do that again”

Dressing up to hang out with naruto fans (Sand Village Rules)

“Again with the wigs?”

“Why can’t black women ever feel comfortable with their own hair?

I decided to cut most of my hair off and start over. I did not want to relax my hair anymore. I wanted a more natural look so this happened…

"Natural hair is hard to take care of. You are going to relax it again, you’ll see.”

“Black girls always get natural hair for attention.”

I am an anime lover and I am currently Miss. Action Anime at my college. Sometimes when I go to anime events or when I am doing artistic things, I pull out one of my colored wigs to get me in the mood ^_^

“wow… blue hair? why?”

“you dont need to wear wigs. Be proud of your natural hair.”

The summer of 2014 I started modeling on the side. I really enjoyed it. I wore my natural hair to photo shoots because I had put most of my wigs in storage. Soon I discovered that not many photographers want to take pictures of a girl with short natural hair.

“Is your hair that long now?”

“There isn’t much I can do with that.”

“I am trying to get a different look”

(These are comments from photographers that I sent my portfolio pictures to)

In order to retain some length, because I want to grow my hair out into a large afro, I got braids put in. I was not surprised when that was met negatively also.

“I hate when girls put that shit in their hair”

“I thought you were going natural, what happened?”

“I liked you better when your hair was real”

Of course I did not only recieve negative comments. I got tons of compliments (When I had my neon pink hair a child actually mistook me for nicki minaj!). But anyone who has ever been insulted knows that criticism sticks with you way longer than compliments. The saddest part of all of this is that I was receiving these comments from other women of color! That’s right, black women were telling me my hair is too nappy. No matter what style I did there was always someone who thought it should be different. 

But I am a grown woman and I dont need anyones approval 

I love my hair. long or short, real or fake, natural or relaxed

I will not change my hair because “men like it long”

I will not change my hair because “fake hair looks stupid”

I will not change my hair because “it looks too white” or it “looks too black" 

Its my fucking hair and if I like it it looks FUCKING PERFECT

Next time you want to tell someone what to do to their hair… don’t. Take your opinion, Write it on a dildo, and fuck yourself with it. If you like hair a certain way, get YOUR hair done that way and stop ruining the self esteem of the beautiful women of color who will never be able to live up to societies standard of hair. 

We need to be lifting each other up. You are beautiful and your hair is beautiful and anyone who tells you otherwise can go fuck themselves.

Don’t let social media ruin your self-esteem. Just because you don’t look like someone you think is attractive, doesn’t mean you aren’t. Likes don’t define beauty. Don’t base your self-worth on how much likes you get from your picture. You don’t need validation from anyone because you are beautiful. Remember, flaws make us unique and beautiful in our ways. Be confident in who you are.
The Pajama Fic: Part 4

*this is just a bit off fluff but I promise the fic will speed up in a bit ;)*

It was 5 am and you lay awake curled under the fresh smelling new covers on your bed, remembering why exactly they had been changed so recently. You had finally been allowed to go to bed at 4am after the group had finished their tirade of questions for you and Dan. It was easy to avoid most questions because everyone was more than a little drunk and consequently had a very short attention span. You and Dan had been shoved unceremoniously together and the questions you had been asked ranged from explicit to nosy to hilarious. Both you and Dan had managed to laugh off most of the answers until a couple of probing questions had released a slightly bitter retort from Dan - as you hadn’t exactly discussed everything yourselves so the question of your future hit a nerve. Dan asked if they could leave you both alone and the underlying seriousness in his tone had everyone backing off slightly, you also asked everyone to give it a rest only momentarily making sincere eye contact with Dan that suggested you both needed to discuss this properly later.Phil had kindly, like always, butted in and changed the topic seeing Dan and yours distress. You both threw grateful expressions in his direction.

At 4am everyone started crawling back to their room, some having just fallen asleep on deck chairs outside. Everyone else started snoring immediately but you lay awake, the ceiling spinning uncontrollably, staring at the ceiling. However you didn’t feel like it was he jet lag keeping you awake, instead your mind was racing, processing the busy events of the day, completely unable to stop remembering the moment when you had seen Dan, bleary eyed, smile at you whilst wrapped in nothing but your bed sheets. Messy hair and a little disoriented, his eyes had crinkled a little at the side as he smiled and his dimples grew in his cheeks. You sighed. You had been laid awake for a while now and you had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to sleep until you had at least spoken to Dan about the day’s events and the electricity you couldn’t ignore that seemed to fill the space between you now. Huffing out a defeated breath you stole yourself and rolled out of bed, determined to check if he was still awake. Quietly as you could you crept across the patio, past the snoring bodies of Connor and Shane who lay passed out on the deck chairs, and into the the other wing of the house where you knew Dan’s bedroom was. You stopped for a second because you noticed some pants on the floor which you remembered Tyler wearing on his head earlier in the being and suppressed a chuckle. You continued nonchalantly, certain that Dan’s room was near. Turning a corner you bumped directly into a tall figure whom also seemed to be sneaking around silently during the night. You looked up to realise it was Dan, a little more sober than you and looking very surprised.

“Oh..you’re here…I was just…?” He stage whispered to you.

“Oh well…I was actually coming to see you but…” you say awkwardly, attempting to stop yourself swaying on the spot, heat rising in your cheeks.

“So was I.” Said Dan enthusiastically. “I couldn’t sleep and wondered if we could talk.” YOu nodded in response and he took your hand, leading you back to his room. You’re both a bit giggly as you navigate the house, shushing each other dramatically as you close the door into Dan’s room.

“Hey, come sit down.” he says, pulling you down to sit on the top on the bed with him. You cross your legs but Dan can’t because his skinny jeans are stopping him. You muffle your laugh with the duvet as Dan awkwardly tries to unfold his legs again, proceeding to roll around on the bed.

“Haha Dan..”you laugh “just take them off so we can chat.” he looks frustratedly at you in response.

“That’s easier said than done y/n. These are literally so fucking tight I can’t…” then began the five minute pulling session where the drunk pair of you attempted to pull of Dan’s trousers legs one at a time. With one last tug you got them off and Dan rolled off the bed in the opposite direction, hitting the ground with a thud. You’re shushing him dramatically again as he crawls back on the bed, muffling his laughter with his hands. You’re both laid on the bed now and the atmosphere changes from light to something more profound. You look into each others eyes for a moment but you look away, unsure of how to start when he’s looking at you like he is seeing for the first time.

“Dan…” you begin in a serious tone.

“I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t want this, I…” He interrupts, running his hands through his hair in sudden distress. “I knew it was too good to be true.” he finished in a heart breaking tone.

“Daniel will you let me finish?” You say in a suddenly strong tone, causing him to quickly look up at you from staring at his feet. “Don’t be ridiculous Dan. You’ve been a great friend since we met…” He interrupts with a groan at the word ‘friend’ and you scowl at him again. “…but you showed me today how great we could be if we were more.” His face seemed to light up, as if that fire from earlier was being lit behind his eyes. “and I would like to…to be with you. If you would like that.” You finish, with a slightly nervous edge to your voice, not entirely sure how this statement would go down. Dan looks at you in a humble sort of awe.

“I never believed that…that someone could..could…” he stuttered out.

“Could love you, Dan?” He looks away, revealing once again how little self-esteem he truly had. “Well I could.” You finish sincerely. He glances back and sees the honesty in your eyes, for a second you think he is about to say something, or maybe even cry and then “Hup!” You clap a hand to you mouth in shock and his eyes widen in amusement. “Huup” You hiccup again and Dan bursts out laughing. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” You say, hands pressed to your face in embarrassment.

“Haha, way to ruin the moment y/n.” He laughs, clutching his stomach in fits of laughter. You manage to fake sulk, pretending to be annoyed at him laughing at you. He leans across the bed and tackle hugs you until you’re both lying down and laughing, interrupted only by the occasional hiccup.

You lie like this for a couple hours, until it’s definitely light outside and neither of you can keep your eyes open. You snuggle into his side and again he covers you both with an expansive white duvet. You’re both asleep before you can say another word, folded into each others arms, oblivious to anything but each other.

anonymous asked:

The Squip ain't helping you, they're hurting you! They've ruined your friendship with Michael, and demolishing your self-esteem!

J: “N- no! I- he’s trying to help! I’m just… really difficult. It’s not his fault! Making someone like me actually likable is… really hard. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? I- I put this on myself. I knew what I was getting into, it’s okay. M- …. Michael’s a- a……. loser, anyway, I- I don’t.. need him….. Once the SQUIP manages to make me popular I’ll have way more friends! It’s okay.”

it’s that time again!

Time for another essay on why Hinata antis have no idea what the character is about, because they look at the manga with an Overseas mindset and not a Japanese one. 

Let’s talk about the term “Yamato Nadeshiko”. when NaruHina/Hinata antis call Hinata the ‘perfect, demure wife’, this is generally the term they are thinking about.

What is a Yamato Nadeshiko, you may ask? Essentially, the term means ‘the ideal/perfect Japanese woman. You might have seen these characters in anime before. Demure. Docile. Graceful. Full of Poise and excellence. They have an air of mystery and feminine wiles. They excel at bringing their family honor with their grace.

Now, this is the kind of character NaruHina/Hinata anti’s claim Hinata is.  However, anyone who has basic reading comprehension knows this is not the truth. In fact, a Yamato Nadeshiko is the antithesis of what Hinata is.

Hinata is clumsy. Hinata is not poised. She’s not graceful. She doesn’t have the ability to support anyone with her wisdom in part 1, as she cannot even support herself. This is precisely why her father considers her a failure of an heiress and a daughter. The Hyuuga encapsulate this sort of perfection. To use the byakugan to it’s fullest extent means you must be graceful and precise. Hinata is not those things, and because of that, she is considered weak and not gifted with the Byakugan. Heck, the move that she develops, the twin lion fang, seems more about willpower then grace.

She trips. Trembles. Is pessimistic. Stutters. That alone discounts her; Yamato Nadeshiko’s would never stutter. That reflects badly on her upbringing, and who on earth would think a woman with low self esteem as a ‘perfect woman’.
Note, I’m talking generally about part 1 Hinata.

What does a Yamato Nadeshiko have in common with Hinata? Well… they are both soft spoken. Docile. However, Hinata is not any of those things by choice. She was made that way due to years of childhood abuse that effectively ruined her self esteem and made her soft spoken. She isn’t soft spoken because thats what she thinks a perfect woman is, and is emulating that…. she is soft spoken because she has no self esteem and thinks that no one cares what she has to say. Which is true, because her father thought of her as less then dirt.

In part 2, she makes strides to change herself into someone who loves herself, and someone who can support others. And damn it, she really does change from part 1 in the manga. But the things she improves about herself still doesn’t put her into the Yamato Nadeshiko category. I can’t even really think of a character that would be one… if i stretch MAYBE Kurenai.

It’s really frustrating to see people from outside Japan try and claim what people there want from women. People claimed Hinata was the easy choice, but anyone who has been reading manga for the past 20 years knows thats… not true? Look at the most popular anime, and you will consistently find that the main love interest for many male protaganists are brash, loud, and excitable women. The most popular women in manga are generally loud? Taiga, Asuka, Rukia, Asuna, Mikoto Misaka, Erza, Haruhi, ect… TSUNDERE ARE EVERYWHERE, and they usually win? So if Japan really HATED loud women like Sakura, then why the fuck are they actually everywhere in anime/manga? At the very least, it would have been very normal for Sakura to have won the Narutobowl. She didn’t lose because Hinata was a Yamato Nadeshiko. She lost because she wasn’t the right girl for Naruto, and Kishimoto decided that as an author.

anonymous asked:

My gf is overweight but she has small tits? It kinda turns me off but idk how to tell her

Step 1: Realize how lucky you are to even have a girlfriend with an attitude like that, you little prick. Holy shit does she ever deserve so much better than you.

Step 2: Realize that her body does not exist solely for the purpose of making your dick rise/pussy wet.

Step 3: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. Her body is fucking perfect exactly the way it is, that’s how God made her, and it’s pieces of absolute HORSE SHIT LIKE YOU that ruin girl’s self esteem forever with your asinine remarks about their bodies. For the love of all that is good and holy in this world, keep your mouth shut about the way her body looks. Once she comes to her senses and dumps your ass, it’ll be a hell of a lot easier for her to move on and find someone who can appreciate what they’ve got if she doesn’t have your fucking stupid comments about her boobs in the back of her mind, convincing her she’s anything less than a goddess.

Who knew that something so insignificant could alter so many lives???? Who knew something so small could affect the way you see people or yourself????
Who knew that someones HAIR could:
- ruin relationships/friendships
- change your entire appearance
- destroy any ounce of self esteem
- change your daily life, for the worst.

So next time you think about saying, “it’s just hair,” “why can’t you just stop,” “you’re doing this just to spite me…” or “you must enjoy pulling because you keep doing it,” Think about this. I DO NOT ENJOY PULLING MY OWN HAIR OUT. I WOULD STOP IF I COULD. THIS ISN’T ALL ABOUT YOU SO PLEASE. BE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF US.

Thank you.

I really don’t understand how people on this website and life in general get hated on for being happy and/or confident. Not everyone hates themselves and not everyone is “depressed”(now I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way, but I definitely know people who use depression/anxiety as an excuse). Like I’m so sick of seeing people constantly getting bashed for being happy like wtf just because YOU’RE upset and unhappy doesn’t mean you gotta try and ruin someone else’s day. If YOU have self esteem or personal issues don’t fuck it up for someone else. If YOU’RE not positively contributing to someone’s life them you need to step the fuck back and leave them alone. Happiness is not being cocky or self absorbed. Let people live their lives. Not everyone is devastatingly insecure. If they are, then let them fake confidence until they make it. Being sad and constantly being negative sucks and it’s unhealthy so if people want to try and fight for their happiness/self acceptance then let them fucking fight.

When They Don’t Text Back

(or take a long time to reply back when they are clearly not that busy)

- You feel like sending another text.

- You feel like they are bored of talking with you.

- You feel like they’ve read it, and ignored it.

- You feel like they are replying to everyone but you.

- You feel like they’re with someone else.

- You feel guilty for for wanting to speak to them.

- You feel like you’re not as important as they say you are.

sometimes texting back can go a long way, no matter how insignificant or important the text may be. The person on the other end may thank you some day for it, because the longer you “forget” or are “too busy” to text back, it ruins a person inside with unnecessary feelings of doubt and low self-esteem.