wax wear


Floating Acorn Cap Candle

These candles are a wonderful way to add a subtle incandescent light to an autumnal altar or table centerpiece, or float upon a pond or other body of water for a Samhain, Mabon or other fall ritual.

I made the candles pictured by simply removing the wicks from white tea-lights, (keeping the wax and setting it aside) and cutting each in half - making two candles per each tea light.

I made a simple double-boiler by thoroughly cleaning out, and removing the label from, an empty tin can, and holding it still in a pot of simmering water to melt the wax down.

Wearing thick gardening gloves for protection, I carefully poured wax into the empty acorn caps, filling them just below the rim of the cap, then sticking in the wicks, holding them still for a moment until the wax cools enough for the wicks to stand on their own.

Why I Don’t Think Victorian Mourning Practices Were Creepy

(a much-requested post)

so for those of you unfamiliar with the topic, a brief primer. Victorians had a very formal mourning culture; the bereaved would dress in certain ways for certain periods of time, special mourning jewelry often made of jet and pearls was very popular, and practices we look askance at today like post-mortem photography and the production of wax mourning dolls wearing the clothes of dead children were commonplace

okay I’m not actually sure about the mourning dolls. it’s a popularly-cited “tradition” that I can’t find any 100% certain evidence of. there definitely are wax baby and child dolls with real hair presented in elaborate boxes, but devotional wax dolls meant to depict the baby Jesus were also a thing, so- anyway. getting off topic there.

post-mortem photography in particular appears in listicles with titles like “10 WTF Things Victorians Did!” and that really irritates me, because it’s just how people dealt with grieving. if we look- really look -at our modern culture, very few of these practices have gone away. they’ve just become informal and personalized, rather than being part of a formal, near-universal mourning culture

many parents still save a lock of a baby’s hair, even if they don’t make elaborate hairwork jewelry with it. we still assign special meaning to a ring given us by a dead relative, or a locket. post-mortem photography still exists; there are post-mortem photographs of my late older brother at his funeral, and in an age where photography is a matter of tapping a screen, pictures of the deceased in life are more likely to exist and negate the need for posed corpse photos. we still wear black to funerals and some people wear black armbands for longer to indicate mourning, though the custom is fast-disappearing. all that’s really gone is the understood public face of mourning

and I feel like that’s not entirely a good thing. there’s no universal way to say “I’m grieving; please understand and take that into account.” we’re expected to get back to normal as soon as possible and be unaffected by the loss of a loved one (if not explicitly then tacitly, as seen in the societal messages around us). it’s my belief that the period of mourning allowed people to take more time with the natural grieving process

of course, the flip side of that was that grieving could be dishonest and force people into uncomfortable situations. a widow whose abusive husband died, for example, would be expected to mourn for at least two years (and a large chunk of that in the veil and uncomfortable ultra-conservative black gowns of deepest mourning)

so in the end, I don’t feel like one or the other is really better. nowadays we have a more personalized form of mourning, but we’re expected to be okay again as soon as possible and people don’t really know what to do with someone who is grieving. in the 19th century they had this codified, public mourning that everyone recognized and understood, but those rules could force people into mourning in a way that wasn’t comfortable for them (or even necessary, sometimes). however, I do not in any way feel that Victorian mourning culture was creepy

we’re all just trying to cope with one of the most heartbreaking things one can experience in the best way possible. regardless of time and place. and if people can’t see the emotions of loss and longing behind even the more esoteric mourning practices of the 19th century, I don’t know what to tell them

anonymous asked:

I'm not denying your identity as a transgender man, but please don't forget that a lot of women (cis and trans) find makeup and so on awkward and don't want to do it. Woman does not equal person who wears makeup, waxes her eyebrows, etc. Hell, men can do that and still be men, if they want.

Hey, I hate this.

Not that you said it, I just hate simultaneously juggling the beliefs “gender is meaningless, anyone can be anything” and “trans people exist.”  I don’t really know a way through it.


The easy way, and the way that’s worked to get trans people accepted in some surprisingly conservative areas (at least before we became a Designated Wedge Issue the last year or two), is to totally accept all gender stereotypes and roles, and define transness purely in terms of “the roles are fine, I just belong to the other one.”  I may not have a Y chromosome, but I define my manhood in the same dominance-football-grilling-stoicism way as any other man, and ultimately I’m no threat to the overall system.

Another route you can take is to say that gender is nothing but a pile of disassociated traits.  A person with a Y chromosome doesn’t necessarily have a penis, a person with a penis isn’t necessarily a man, a man doesn’t necessarily like grilling, and so forth.  Each person is a unique assortment of attributes and preferences, and “gender” is a painfully constrictive attempt to shove the beautiful broad spectrum of humanity into two ill-fitted boxes.


I lean more towards the second approach than the first, but it has two big problems.  The first is that it sounds great on Tumblr, but when you try to explain it to a 54-year-old plumber from Worcester, he’s going to look at you like you’re saying there’s no difference between horses and people.  It’s a hard sell.

(And this is true even if the plumber knows and accepts some trans people.  “He’s a she now” is a much easier sell than “anyone can use any pronoun!”)

The second problem with “anyone can be anything!” is, in that framework, does it mean anything to be trans?  Transsexual, maybe, the framework can accept body dysphoria as a real thing, but you can’t be transgender now that gender has been debunked.  The best I can say is “I have an arbitrary preference for being called he/him/his and being referred to as a man.”  I also happen to want to take testosterone and wear plaid, but that’s little more than coincidence.


So where does this leave me?  Trying to understand and express my own gender coherently without putting it in terms of “I don’t like makeup so I must be a man”?  Fuuuuck, I don’t know.  I hate this.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me more about high school events in the US? Like, homecoming, prom, etc. And like sports related events too, if it's not much trouble, Because my story is in the States, but I'm from Brazil, and google is not always reliable. Thanks anyway :)

Hi! I can help with a lot of this, but considering that I go to a private school, not all my information is going to be perfect, unfortunately. Still, I’ll do what I can!

For one, public high schools in the US are huge – at least they are in big cities like the one I live in. Location does matter – it’s the difference between state-of-the-art facilities and very poor funding. For example, in San Antonio, Texas, high schools on the North side and in nice subdivisions like Castle Hills are a lot more likely to get better facilities and possibly better teachers than high schools on, say, the South or Southwest side.

As for football games: here in Texas football is a big thing, but I’m not sure about other states. As far as I can tell, Texas is the only state that puts so much stock on football, both high school and professional, but I could be wrong, considering I’ve never lived anywhere else. Regular games are a big deal, but two occasions in particular are big deals: when a school plays their rival, and when a game is a school’s homecoming game. My school has a huge celebration over the week leading up to homecoming: we have dress-up days and the classes earn points based on their participation in said dress up days; each class decorates a door and gains points based on what place they earn; the Friday of the homecoming game is a half-day (we’re released at 12:15 instead of 3:25), and we have a three hour long pep rally in which the classes play games and put on skits that they wrote, and earn points based on how well they do. However, as I said, I go to a private school – we have all those festivities, but from what I understand, public schools don’t (except for maybe the pep rally – public schools definitely have those). However, my school doesn’t have a dance, and public schools do. I can’t tell you much about the dances that they have, except that it’s like a mini-prom: the girls dress up in party dresses, the guys wear suits or tuxes, and they all go. I’m not sure how long it lasts or if afterparties are commonplace, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. Also, in Texas, we have mums – basically they’re giant flowers you pin to your shirt, and they’re meant to show school spirit. They’re painted in the school colors and can be customized for each person: they can have football decals, choir decals, band decals, volleyball decals, bells, streamers, and so on. But I’ve heard that Texas is the only place in the US that does this, so take it with a grain of salt.

Now, for prom. A lot of people go all-out for prom: prom-posals are never too extra (in fact, the more extra the better). Usually the guy will prom-pose to the girl, but a girl prom-posing to a guy isn’t unheard of or wrong. For transportation, people hiring limos is pretty commonplace; some people figure out ways to really get attention when they get out of the limo, because “making an entrance” is a must (I once saw a post about a girl who was lifted out of the limo inside a coffin, because she was known as goth). Girls wear formal dresses (possibly floor-length, possibly with mesh cut-outs on the waist, usually with jewels and glitter on them) and get their nails done and their eyebrows waxed; guys wear tuxes and buy the girls a corsage (a flower to wear on their wrist – it’s usually best if said flower matches the color of the girl’s dress). Alcohol and drugs are prohibited, naturally, but from what I understand, it’s pretty commonplace for someone to spike the punch with whiskey or vodka or some kind of alcohol; people will also smuggle alcohol and drugs in, and get lit together in the school bathrooms. A lot of people lose their virginity on prom night, if they have it; if they don’t, then they just get laid (but prom night is notorious for deflowering a lot of girls). Afterparties are popular, and are places where the alcohol and drugs can be used freely.

That’s about all I can think of. I really hope this helps! If you need anything else, please feel free to ask. - @authors-haven


Calming/Positivity bottle charm!

Ingredients: Rosemary, jasmine, bay leaf, rain water

1. Layer the rosemary (mental clarity), jasmine (peace and happiness), and bay leaf (protection against negativity) in your bottle charm while visualizing your intent.
2. Add a drop of rainwater (energy).
3. Seal the bottle (wax optional).
4. I wear the charm on a necklace to keep it close to my heart so I can best absorb its energy, but you can simply carry it or meditate with it - whatever works best for you!

game of thrones writers room

d&d: so we got the weird homophobic bro trip to the north all written up now…what to do with the ladies
random intern wearing mustache wax: i had an idea about that. so u know how all our women are grossly traumatized by rape and abuse and curses from vaguely racist caricatures of witches and whatnot?
d&d: hm..we’re listening…
random intern: so how about we…have that trauma thrown in their faces in increasingly cruel ways by the people they trust and love!
d&d: Gary You’ve Done It. Here, Take My Keys. Go Home And Fuck My Wife, Gary!

What Is Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS)?


“…a chronic skin condition that features pea-sized to marble-sized lumps under the skin. Also known as acne inversa, these deep-seated lumps typically develop where skin rubs together — such as the armpits, groin, between the buttocks and under the breasts.

The lumps associated with hidradenitis suppurativa are usually painful and may break open and drain foul-smelling pus. In many cases, tunnels connecting the lumps will form under the skin.

Hidradenitis suppurativa tends to start after puberty, persist for years and worsen over time. Early diagnosis and treatment of hidradenitis suppurativa can help manage the symptoms and prevent new lesions from developing.”

There are a good number of definitions for HS, but I felt this one wasn’t as “medically worded” as most.

What Causes HS?

There’s a lot of discrepancy within the medical community as to the causes of HS, ranging from sweat glands and hair follicles being blocked to the condition actually being a form of auto-immune disorder.

Based upon the blocked gland/follicle theory, these are some potential causes:

  • Post-pubescent individuals are more likely to exhibit HS.
  • Plugged sweat gland or hair follicle.
  • Excessive sweating.
  • Sometimes linked with other auto-immune conditions.
  • Androgen dysfunction.
  • Genetic disorders that alter cell structure.
  • Patients with more advanced cases may find exercise intolerably painful, which may increase the rate of obesity among sufferers.

There are “triggering factors” for HS that include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • Obesity is an exacerbating rather than a triggering factor, through mechanical irritation, occlusion, and maceration.
  • Tight clothing, and clothing made of heavy, non-breathable materials.
  • Deodorants, depilation products, shaving of the affected area.
  • Drugs, in particular oral contraceptives (i.e., oral hormonal birth control; “the pill”) and lithium.
  • Hot and especially humid climates (dry/arid climates often cause remission).

The Stages of HS

There are two different staging systems for HS, Sartorious and Hurley’s, but I prefer Hurley’s system because, to me, it’s a little more straight forward and easier to understand.

Stage I: Solitary or multiple isolated abscess formation without scarring or sinus tracts. (A few minor sites with rare inflammation; may be mistaken for acne.)

Stage II: Recurrent abscesses, single or multiple widely separated lesions, with sinus tract formation. (Frequent inflammation restrict movement and may require minor surgery such as incision and drainage.)

Stage III: Diffuse or broad involvement across a regional area with multiple interconnected sinus tracts and abscesses. (Inflammation of sites to the size of golf balls, or sometimes baseballs; scarring develops, including subcutaneous tracts of infection – see fistula. Obviously, patients at this stage may be unable to function.)

Is There A Cure?

As of right now, there is no cure for HS, but we do have options to help alleviate our symptoms and pain; these fall into two categories: medical and homeopathic.

Medical options include:

  • Oral antibiotics and/or steroids
  • Topical antibiotic creams and ointments
  • Lancing/draining areas
  • Surgery

I should note that surgery should almost always be a last resort to treating HS. There are stories of people who have sought out surgery and have suffered with horrible scarring and their HS actually being much worse than before.

Homeopathic options include:

  • Using an antimicrobial/antibacterial skin cleanser once a day
  • No shaving and waxing
  • No longer wearing antiperspirant
  • Using a spray deodorant versus a stick
  • Hot compresses with a little tea tree oil
  • Taking turmeric at least once a day (no more than twice a day)
  • Wearing loose fitting clothing, made from natural materials (cotton, bamboo)
  • Taking a supplement that combats yeast
  • Removing inflammatory foods from your diet (patients with rheumatoid arthritis do this and it helps)
  • Use more natural products on your skin


Being diagnosed with HS is a horrible thing to hear, no matter your age, but there are ways to manage it until, hopefully, the medical community can determine a proper treatment. We are NOT broken, disgusting, horrible diseased, or outcasts of society…we are a small percentage of people who have been handed a crappy card in an entire deck and, through our strength as individuals and a community, are learning to manage life with this one card.

I’ll be posting more information about natural ways to alleviate and reduce symptoms, as well as advice concerning establishing relationships with those who don’t know what HS is or don’t have HS.

Keep positive, lovelies, and remember to love yourself.

“#OSCARS 2013 #AaronTveit #EddieRedmayne rehearse on stage @ Dolby OneDayMore from #LesMiz for movie musical sequence” - @craigzadan

Blast from the past - and guess what shirt & jacket combo Aaron was wearing today? Happy New Year!