I wish I was a fucking sociopath so I didn’t have any remorse, but I do. There is nothing that anyone could have done to prevent this. No one is to blame except me and Vodka. Our actions are a two man war against everyone else.
*Coming face to face with Edward Nygma for the first time* "... This is him?"
"Yes, that's him. The one who left me broken in the river, the one who--"
*restraining laughter* "... Ah, okay. Neat!"
"Damnit, child. What's so funny?"
"*This* is Ed? I pictured he'd be... I don't know. Beefier?"
"What? It's true! He looks like what would happen if you stretched out a wax bean and put clothes on it! I've grown ficuses bigger than him! This is adorable."
*visibly trembling with a mixture of rage, embarrassment, and indignation because everyone is talking about him while he's standing right there... and he's imagining Oswald singing another Amy Winehouse song to him*
"Oh my god, is he shaking? Are you cold? Oswald he's like a puppy! Do you wanna borrow my coat?"
"IVY. Do what we came here to do!"
"FINE. Alright, come on and give me a sniff. Captain Crankypants has a big mission and no one's allowed to have any fun..."
Here at tumblr, you can enjoy anything! You can be furry, like rape porn, be in the KKK, bash people for not having the same religious as you, be against gay rights, and support abuse/ rape culture! But dO NoT LIKE THE TRUE CRIME COMMUNITY THEY ARE EVIL SATAN WILL PISS IN YOUR SKULL FOR ALL ETERNITY IF YOU EVEN FIND A SERIAL KILLER INTERESTING. THEY KILLED PEOPLE!!!!1!!!!
As it burns, create a doll from cloth to represent the person spreading lies about you, ruining your reputation.
When the doll is complete, make a slit where the mouth should be. Insert a piece of dumb-cane. (Do not touch your own mouth before washing your hands with soap very well. Better yet, wear gloves while handling the dumb-cane–it is potentially very dangerous!)
Dribble wax over the doll’s mouth the seal it shut.
Bury the doll in a secluded, lonely spot where it’s unlikely to be unearthed.
(from The Element Encyclopedia of 5,000 Spells by Judika Illes)
A curse meant to isolate a target and make their lives a living nightmare. Not to be used lightly.
What you’ll need:
Clay, wax or cloth to make a poppet
A taglock of your target; if a personal effect of theirs isn’t available, a slip of paper with their name will suffice.
Dandelion root to “leave a bitter taste in their mouth” if they’ve wronged you
Hot pepper seeds to bind them to the energy of this curse
Five lengths of string, yarn or twine. Be sure to use different color strings to effect different areas in their life, unless you want to target one specific area.
A large bowl of cold water.
A pair of scissors
What to do:
Make your poppet. If you’re using wax or clay to do so, mix the herbs and the taglock into the wax or clay. If you’re using cloth, stuff it with the herbs and the taglock before sewing the head shut.
Find a corner in which to cast the spell, preferably in a spare room.
Measure and cut the strings accordingly, and charge each one with your intent.
Tie the string/yarn/twine to the arms, legs, and neck of your poppet, envisioning the different aspects of the life of the target. Using clear tape, suspend the poppet in the corner using the strings so it looks like it’s laying in the air.
Prepare the bowl of water by charging it with the energy of the void as you add the black ink. Place the bowl under the poppet.
Take your scissors and cut the strings, one by one. As you cut them, say: “As I cut this (first, second, third, fourth, final) string, I remove you from (your friends, your family, etc.).”
As the poppet falls into the water, envision the hell that awaits them in the coming days/weeks/months. Say: “As you fell into the void, you called out for help. But nobody came.”
After the curse is cast, carefully fish out the poppet and take it to someplace where it won’t be bothered. Dispose of the materials in an appropriate matter, and do a thorough cleansing of the area as well as yourself.
“Isn’t america supposed to be the land of the free? how come, If I’m free, I cant deprive a stupid fucking dumbshit from his possessions If he leaves them sitting in the front seat of his fucking van out in plain sight and in the middle fucking nowhere on a Fri-fucking-day night. NATURAL SELECTION. Fucker should be shot.”