After clearing out a banquet hall of enemies, I decide to play up my rogue’s thieving nature and steal all the silverware. The DM made me roll for it, and I got a nat20, so he narrated me stealing all the knives, all the forks, all the spoons, and then going for the candelabras on the mantle only to find a “loose brick” that revealed a hidden treasure room behind the fireplace. The rest of the party is shocked by the huge piles of treasure and are about to storm the treasure room.

Me: “WAIT! I… need to… check for traps!”

They let me into the room ahead of them, and I confirm there are no traps.

Me: “Guys… look at all the GOLD!”

Me, OOC: “I grab a handful of jewelry, and wave it in the air, to distract them from the gold I’m shoving in my pocket with my other hand.”

This was my introductory game to see if I’d fit in with the rest of the group. My devotion to my character’s personality, combined with a full conversation with the DM consisting of nothing but memes, earned me a place in their ranks.

  • person: *is responding slower to texts and most likely busy but is trying their best to respond*
  • The Disorder: *slowly pulls out a pair of scissors* its that time
  • me: no not again put them down this isn't needed
  • The Disorder: *aggressively snapping scissors in my face* CUT THEM OUT CUT THEM OUT cUT thEM oUT DO IT ~NOW~
  • me: this isn't a good idea no please stop
  • The Disorder: *violently waving multiple pairs of scissors in the air and throwing them around the room* SNIP SNIP CUT THEM OUT THE RELATIONSHIP SLICE and DICE

[SUMMARY: Negan and Meredith have a chaotic, sexually passionate relationship and don’t act like your usual lovey dovey couple. Especially when they get upset with each other.]

Dirty rough smut

Negan and Meredith.

Keep reading

“Well, he /is/ pretty hot.”

You can blame Jensen and Misha for this. (ao3)

Jensen is in the green room, relaxing for a few minutes before his trio photo-ops with Misha and Jared, minding his own business. He’s chatting with Jared about the panel when Misha slides up next to him, and wraps a possessive arm around his lower back. 

“So, you think I’m hot.” 

He states it matter-of-factly and Jensen almost spits beer all over Jared, who, traitor he is, starts keeling over in laughter. 

“You act like this is brand new information,” Jensen replies, flashing a cheeky smile at Misha. 

Jared tries to compose himself, but waves a hand between the two of them, huffing for air, and says, “I’m gonna go.” 

He practically runs out of the room, still laughing, leaving Jensen and Misha alone. 

“Well, color me surprised, but you’ve never blatantly expressed your love for my hotness in front of  fans.” 

Jensen shrugs, setting down his beer on the table, and turns, placing his hands on Misha’s hips.

“Maybe I just don’t care what anybody thinks anymore.” 

“Really?” Misha says, voice dropping it’s sarcastic tone into a soft uncertainty. They’ve been together for years, but it’s always been something hidden. It’s smarter that way, a lot of people wouldn’t understand the kind of relationship their two families have. 

“Yeah.” Jensen’s smile goes soft, and he leans in to press a kiss against Misha’s mouth. 

“So, you’re totally cool with me making out with you onstage then?” Misha teases, eyes twinkling clearly seriously considering the idea at the next convention. 

Jensen chuckles, “Okay maybe not that far, but I’m good with… ya know touching more, bringing up how awesome and sexy I think you are at every possible chance. Stuff like that.” 

“I can work with that,” Misha says, smirking. He presses a kiss against Jensen cheek and pulls back a little out of his arms, digging his phone out of his pocket. 

Jensen squints at him as Misha opens the twitter app and starts flipping through screens, searching. 

“What are you doing?” 

“You’ll see,” Misha giggles, tilting his screen away from Jensen. 

Misha taps away some more, and then pockets his phone, grinning, and wraps his arms back around Jensen. A few seconds later Jensen’s phone vibrates in his pocket.  He drops his hands from Misha’s body, eying him warily and pulls out his phone, reading the notification popped up on the screen. He raises an eyebrow, at Misha’s tweet, licks his lips, then re-pockets his phone. 

“Smoking, huh?” 

“Seemed more fitting.” 

“Yeah, well I’ll show you smoking right no-” Jensen hand’s slide across Misha’s hips, sliding down to grip his ass, coaxing a stuttered gasp from Misha’s lips. They’ve got a few minutes, and could make good use of a table nearby. Last night was good but Jensen’s already itching for another taste of Misha’s mouth. 

“Hey guys,” Jared’s voice sing-songs from the doorway, “I know you really wanna fuck right now but we gotta head upstairs.” 

Jensen and Misha sigh, practically in unison, kissing one last time before pulling apart and heading towards the doorway. 

“I hate you right now,” Jensen says once they get to the door, pointing an accusing finger at Jared. 

Jared smiles, slipping an arm around Jensen’s shoulder and flashes a grin at Misha, who stares back at Jared with a faux look of pure malice.  “Yeah, I love you guys too.” 

The three of them separate in the hallway once they see a volunteer, and together, head up to the photo-op room, where for the next few hours Jensen will desperately try not to touch Misha too much in front of the fans. You know, like always, just maybe this time he’ll let a little more touching slip through his reserves.

Autistic Percy Jackson characters

•Percy liking the feel of water and sometimes stims by pouring water on his hands or sticking his hands in water
•Annabeth having a lot of special interests and talks about all of them excitedly while waving her hands in the air
•Jason stimming by cleaning his glasses and not making eye contact and following rules bc he needs structure
•Piper using braiding as a stim and using her charmspeak so people will leave her alone
•Leo not understanding people and wishing they worked like machines, one of his special interests
•Hazel going nonverbal sometimes and clinking jewels together because she likes the sound of it
•Frank turning into animals when he goes nonverbal and letting people pet him
•Reyna escaping from social situations to play with her dogs and running her hands up and down them
•Nico having a lot of nonverbal moments and sometimes blurs right with wrong bc he can’t tell what’s bad and what’s good and likes the feeling of his jacket around him
•(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ AUTISTIC PERCY JACKSON CHARACTERS (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

anonymous asked:

i'm going to the exo concert in NJ, and exo is like my fav group ever, do you have any suggestions on how to maybe get them to notice me?? -exo anon

Yay!! Scream their name, have a creative sign so you could wave in the air and get their attention, beat your face, um dress hella cute, um throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care


All was still in the common room. No one but the marauders and I were left sitting quietly in front of the fireplace. It was three in the morning and my boyfriend Sirius was lying sprawled across the floor, snoring away, and the rest of the boys were sleepily playing cards next to me.

I gazed over at Sirius and smiled at his sleeping figure. He was exhausted from a nice long day of bickering with teachers, planning pranks, and pulling at my hair, trying to get my attention while I did my homework.

All of a sudden, a thought came to me. What if I got Sirius back for all those times he had sprang up on me and made me spill ink all over my parchment or swiped my things away from my hands to taunt me by waving them high up in the air?

I slowly crept up onto my knees and scooted over to Sirius’s side.

“Y/n, what are you up to now?” Remus yawned and looked at me. I put my finger to my lips to quiet him and prepared to jump.

“MORNING SIRIUS!” I leaped onto Sirius and attached myself to him by wrapping my arms tightly around him.

“WHAT IN MERLIN’S BLOODY BEARD WAS THAT?” My boyfriend jerked awake and sprang to his feet, leaving me dangling from his torso. The marauders were rolling with laughter, and Sirius looked down in surprise at me.

I looked up at Sirius and grinned evilly, and he merely smiled and shook his head. He hoisted me up so that he was carrying me like he would carry and baby, and headed over to the couch. He lay down onto the couch and adjusted my body so that I was snuggled with him 

“Got you back.” I smiled sleepily and nuzzled his chest. Sirius slid his hands around my shoulder so I could rest my head on them, and we fell asleep to the sound of the crackling fire and the three boys still giggling within themselves.

A Little Too Late

Fandom: Criminal Minds
Words: 4,061
Warning: mention of various deaths, description of certain ways of death
Pairing: Luke Alvez / Penelope Garcia
Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Emily Prentiss and David Rossi

Chapter One [link to FF]

The brief moment of humiliation came a few seconds too late. As the blinding colorful lights inside the nightclub shine against their faces, Penelope Garcia immediately covered her red, drunken face. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she waved her hands up in the air in front of them. “He’s just unbelievably annoying at times.”

Emily Prentiss laughed as she took a long sip of her martini. “Who are you talking about?” Her eyes scanned the nightclub, young active college kids were all over the dance floor. She has learned that she has gotten too old to be dancing like how they were. “Jennifer, do you know who she’s talking about?” She exchanged smirks with her as they both teased Penelope as if they don’t know what they’re talking about.

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders while drinking her beer. “Absolutely no idea.” The music in the nightclub started changing into one of those horrific loud EDM music. “Oh God, I forgot how music has changed so much over the years.”

“You make us sound so old, JJ.” Emily laughed. Her smile faded once she saw Penelope’s scorn expression. “Sweetie, he’s only annoying to you. JJ and I actually do find him pleasing to be with. He’s a wonderful addition to the team.” It’s been months, exactly seven months since Luke Alvez has joined the team. With his background in the Task Force and his knowledge on how fugitives think, he has been such a helpful addition. There is no doubt that he belongs with the team. The fact Penelope still feels this sort of resentment can only because she misses Derek Morgan, her bestfriend. “And sometimes, he’s always a good eye candy to look at.” Emily admitted with a smirk.

Penelope rolled her eyes. “Derek is a hundred times better looking than Alvez.”

“They both are,” JJ said. “But don’t you think Will is better?”

Emily lets out a laugh. “Ah, I keep forgetting that we have a married woman with us. No one can be compared to her husband.”

“I admit that Alvez is definitely eye candy but it doesn’t matter. He’ll leave soon.” Penelope said while finishing off her martini.

“Leaving?” JJ knit her eyebrows in confusion as she turned to Emily. “He’s being transferred?”

Emily shook her head. “No. As Unit Chief, I would know something about it. As of right now, there is no information about transferring him anywhere.” She looked at Penelope, eyeing her with a joking glare. “Don’t think about doing anything within the system with your computer skills.”

Penelope gasped as if she was offended. “Fine.”

JJ laughed. “I have to get home. Will’s been watching the kids for a week. Should get home so he can have his rest.” She got up from the booth and groaned. “Wow. We must be old. I only drank twice and I can feel it already.”

“Bye.” Penelope waved. “What are we going to do now? Girl’s night with only two people? Doesn’t seem like it’ll be any fun.”

“Of course not.” Emily got up and exhaled. “It’s close to two in the morning, P. We have work tomorrow, don’t forget.” She grabbed hold of Penelope’s arm to pull her up. “Come on, you drank less than me. You’re driving.”

Monday 8:00AM

“What do we have?” David Rossi asked as he walked into the conference room with a cup of coffee in hand.

Penelope turned the monitor on before she closed her eyes. “Local.” Clicking on a button from the remote, five different images of five different people appeared on screen. “Each body were found a month apart from each other. Severely dehydrated and I don’t know if you can tell the difference,” she pulled up five different images of the victims. “Before and after.”

Spencer Reid looked up at the screen. “Fragile and weak, skinny to the bones. Whoever did this didn’t feed them.” He looked at his own tablet, skimming through the images in a matter of seconds. “No torture, nothing. The only harm that was done is starvation?”

“That’s rare.” Emily pointed out. “Unsub doesn’t get off on harming but watching the victims slowly die in a month?”

“This doesn’t make sense,” Spencer said. “An average person can only survive without food for two weeks before dying. Two or three days without water. If the Unsub is holding these victims captive, there had to be food or drinks assumed by the victims.”

JJ nodded her head in agreement. “How long were they missing when they’re bodies came up?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Companions reacting to ss getting hurt and/or insulted... love me some angst :D

my computer did not like this at all it deleted everything half way through :L

Cait: “What the fuck did you say?” Nostrils flaring, she steps up to the stranger, fury dancing in her eyes. They repeat the insult, and she punches them in the nose, grinning as she hears a familiar crack. Sole pries Cait off of the stranger, smirking slightly as they do so.

Codsworth: He’s beyond furious, threatening to call Diamond City security, and prodding them with one of his saws. He waves it above them menacingly, until they back off, arms in the air. Sole thanks him, and he feels a sense of pride, defending his Sir/Mum like that.

Curie: She goes bright red, angry but wanting to avoid conflict. She places a hand delicately on the small of Sole’s back, leading them away from the woman. She whispers apologies and compliments into their ear, trying to cheer them up.

Danse: He stands right next to the stranger, staring down at him from his massive, power-armoured height. He points at his gun, addressing the stranger. “You see this? Standard Brotherhood rifle. Incinerates enemies immediately. D’you wanna see?”

Deacon: He pins them up against a wall, breathing down their neck in a calm, cold voice. “Do you have any idea who the fuck you’re messing with? They could snap you like a toothpick. Or I could. Make your choice.”

Dogmeat: He can tell from the slumped posture and sad eyes that Sole is upset. He advances on the stranger, gnashing his teeth and growling viciously, until they back off.

Hancock: He’s sickened that one of his own, a Goodneighbor citizen, would say that to Sole. He twirls his knife in his hand, stepping up to them, about to pull another “Finn” attack. They recognise the gesture immediately, and take off as quickly as possible. “Damn. Gonna need a new trick.”

MacCready: His face goes bright red in anger, his brows knitted together. He trains his gun on them, poking it into his chest. “I normally use this at long range, so I wonder what will happen if I pull the trigger right now?” The stranger slides away, and MacCready is only stopped from pulling the trigger by the thankful but restraining arms of Sole.

Nick Valentine: He’s disgusted, painting a mask of hatred across his features. He won’t sink to this guy’s level, though, so he drapes his arm around Sole, leading them away, trying to make them laugh as he insults the man under his breath.

Piper: She grins like a Cheshire cat, recognising the woman immediately. “Hey, Blue, I just got a great idea for a new article! ‘Local Woman Caught Sleeping with Mayor.’” The woman rolls her eyes and backs away, muttering apologies and curses. “Yeah, I’m writing it anyway.”

Preston Garvey: He’s shocked, eyes widening at the crude words pouring from the man’s lips. “You do realise that he/she is the general of the Minutemen? The general?” He prods the barrel of his laser musket into their chest. “That means, to get to them, you’ve got to got through me.”

Strong: “STRONG SMASH PUNY HUMAN” “Strong, no!” Before Sole can stop him, he’s raised his club, smashing the man into a wall. Sole grimaces at the broken man, but leads Strong away, trying not to get him in any more trouble. 

X6-88: Similarly to Cait, he punches them in the face, a slight look of disgust on his face. He gives them a last kick in the stomach, knocking them unconscious, smirking as he does so. 

Sunburst Stick n' Poke

Pas peeked over the shoulder of one of their employees, who was showing a customer how to do one of the new stick and poke tattoos that the shop had bought for the spring festival. Pascal raised their head and took a deep breath, grinning into the sunlight, reveling in the warm breeze. They picked up a pile of the tattoos from the box and waved them in the air,

“Stick n’ poke tattoos!”

Imagine: Dancing with Poe

For anon… Enjoy!

It was chaos. All around you dancing Rebel soldiers and pilots twirled and leaped into your path, laughing carelessly and waving their arms in the air. You hurriedly pushed past them, giving a quick smile to whoever shot you a disapproving glance. It was like the seventh circle of Hell in there. Everywhere you looked, another maddeningly boisterous and rambunctious person was yelling a shout of victory in your face. 

You couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of pride yourself. Starkiller Base was long gone, the only thing left of it was hurtling shards of small meteors. No more would they kill millions of innocent lives and destroy unsuspecting planets. 

But the massive imperial space station would still be intact if it weren’t for the captain of the Rebel fleet, Poe Dameron. Poe.

That was when you snapped back into reality, remembering the goal in which you were pursuing. You had to find Poe. You had to see if he was okay. 

You shoved your way through the crowd and almost cried out with joy when the X-Wings came into view. Some of them were in dire need of repair, their wings bent or their windows cracked. Others were blackened by the blast of Starkiller base. Some were smoking from an overworked engine. 

Your eyes darted up and down the row of the fighter ships. All the while, your mind was screaming the word ‘Poe’ at you, banging against your already throbbing skull. 

Finally, you caught sight of him. The handsome Rebel commander was leaning against an X-Wing, talking to General Organa. His hair was a mess, his Rebel uniform torn in some places. But, he looked unharmed. Thank God. 

You practically ran over to Poe and he caught sight of you, excusing himself from his conversation with Leia politely. The General accepted it with a grin of approval before stepping away from him into the crowd. Although you could barely tell, she almost looked… pained. 

Poe flashed a smile at you and stretched out his arms, wrapping them around your shoulders as you collided with his chest. You beamed against him, resting your head on his shoulder for a fleeting moment. 

“I didn’t see you land.” You muttered. The pilot chuckled, a warm and pleasant noise. 

“I was one of the last ships to touch ground.” He murmured back, reluctantly pulling away from the hug and taking your hands. 

Poe quickly led you over to the jostling crowd of dancing Rebels, who accepted you into their ranks willingly. Soon enough, the two of you were swept up into the middle of the mob, your hands interlocked in fear of losing each other. 

Poe laughed heartily, spinning you once, twice, three times in tight circles. You smiled hugely, twisting back and forth on your feet and shaking your hips left and right. It was exhilarating being in the middle of a massive and energetic swarm of people who danced endlessly. Your feet moved in every direction, your cheeks always hurt from smiling too much, and your face was always red from the constant and vigorous energy of the crowd. 

Poe reeled back on his heel and did a little jig, which made you double over from laughing and resulted in a triumphant grin from him. After several moments of fighting for breath, you leaped straight back into dancing, twisting your hips and tossing your hair back and forth.

Poe was laughing, at you or at the mob, you couldn’t tell. Not that it mattered anyway. 

It was almost impossible to tell what was going on when you were in the midst of a horde of whirling and hooting people. 

Ah ah
I’ll wait here, you’re crazy.
Those vicious streets are filled with strays.
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
They find you to time you,
Say you’re the best they’ve ever seen.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
I wrote you and told you,
You were the biggest fish out here.
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
They take you and make you,
They look at you in disgusting ways.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
I was standing on the wall feeling ten feet tall.
All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard.
This is my front page. This is my new rage.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Sunset Boulevard.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care.
Phony people come to pay.
Look at all of them, back to stay.
Phony people come to pray.
Look at all of them, back to stay.
(we had gone to reckon send)
Phony people come to pray.
All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Sunset Boulevard.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Hollywood Boulevard.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care
You should have never trusted Hollywood

I started school last week and one of my programming classes I have this teacher who’s this big fluffy Palestinian dude who started off the class with ‘I’m gonna give you all a brief history lesson about how women p much single handedly created programming and we wouldn’t have computers like we do today without them. Y'all probably don’t know this because old white dudes wrote the history books, so I’m gonna educate you.’ And every dude in class looked uncomfortable and every chick looked smug as hell.

I already love this class

How To: Trick People Into Thinking You Weren’t Crying

i. smile. smile like you are dying, breathing your last breath, like the irony of your pathetic life is the funniest thing in the whole damn world. smile like you’re crazy, like you’re on a high that doesn’t end, a high that you almost wish would. smile like you love the hurt.

ii. put your hands anywhere but your face. wave them in the air, touch another person’s skin, run them through your hair. throw your shoulders back, open your mouth and don’t you dare wipe your eyes. don’t touch the spot on your forehead, don’t rub your nose; pretend you are confident in yourself, for once.

iii. walk like you aren’t bleeding. walk like there is no glass beneath you, like the knife in your back is a flower blooming. walk like you are moving mountains, like you are causing earthquakes and hurricanes. walk like you are more than something.


With the alcohol flowing and the music blasting Rebekah and yourself taking a much needed girls day.  You grasped her hands, throwing your hands up in the air and waving them around as you both swayed to the music and laughed.  It felt good to finally unwind, to forget about your worries and just have a good old fashioned girls night with your best friend.

Ways to thank your (cat) familiar

- Pet them on their favourite spot and shower them in affection.

- Respect them! Cats need space and privacy sometimes.

- Engage their natural instincts. Whether it’s waving one of those feathery things in the air or getting them to chase a laser, cats love to hunt! It’s especially important to give indoor cats their playtime. Don’t ever get mad at your cat for their natural behaviour, and avoid getting them declawed. 

- Give your cat some comfy places to sleep and nap. Did you know cats spend about 16 hours a day sleeping? Invest in a cat bed, make one, or just lay a blanket down for them for the puuurfect sleep. One of my cats really likes sleeping in the laundry basket in my closet so I make sure it’s always lined with a blanket.

- Toys! There are tons of inexpensive ones you can buy or make. My cats LOVE pipe cleaners for some reason. Cats usually also love a good cardboard box. Experiment until you find something that your cat really likes.

- If your cat needs extra motivation to play, get them something with catnip in it. You can even grow it yourself and also use it in spells!

- Buy or make a cat tree or a scratching post for your cat.

-  You can always give your cat treats in moderation. My cats go crazy for a bit of tuna.

- Feed them the right food. Consult a vet about the best food for your cat to keep them strong and healthy. Always read the ingredients.

- Is your cat black? Keep them safe!!!!!! Many horrible people will harm a black cat for reasons that I don’t understand, so keep them indoors- especially around Halloween.

- Along the lines of keeping your cat safe, make sure that any ingredients you use for magical work are safe for cats. Many plants and flowers are toxic for cats and same with certain essential oils. If your cat gets into something toxic, call Poison Control to find out and then take them to an emergency animal hospital immediately.

- Talk to your cat. This one is kind of obvious but you can thank your cat by actually telling them! They may even meow back at you! I also recommend talking to your cat throughout the day as you go about your activities. You don’t want them to get lonely!

- Look your cat in the eyes and blink slowly three times. This is supposed to be the same to them as saying “I love you”.

- Never, ever abandon your cat. Take care of your cat even when it grows old. There are way too many cats in shelters. Along the same lines, get your cat fixed. Kittens are cute but there are already way too many cats that desperately need homes.

- If your cat is old or has arthritis, let them lie on a heating pad. Cats love the warmth and it will make them feel a lot better.