waterstones-oxford-street

Fifty Shades of Grey - E.L. James
Waterstones Oxford Street

Auto-Tuned Opening Lines - Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

Lyrics:

I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror.

Damn my hair—it just won’t behave,

and damn Katherine Kavanagh for being ill

and subjecting me to this ordeal.

I should be studying for my final exams,

which are next week, yet here I am

trying to brush my hair into submission. 

I must not sleep with it wet.

I must not sleep with it wet. 

Reciting this mantra several times,

I attempt, once more,

to bring it under control with the brush.

I roll my eyes in exasperation

and gaze at the pale, brown-haired girl

with blue eyes too big for her face staring back at me

You too can Auto-Tune your life using the ace Songify app (here) created by The Gregory Brothers (here).

The Illustrated Man - Ray Bradbury
Waterstones Oxford Street

Auto-Tuned Opening Lines - The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury

More than a few of the booksellers in our store are admirers of Ray Bradbury’s books and we were very sad to hear of his death. We recorded this song about a month ago but didn’t want to put it up as last week as, quite frankly, we think it might have seemed opportunistic. So, here, in our own way of tribute to one of the best modern writers there’s been, is the auto-tuned Illustrated Man.  

Lyrics:

It was a warm afternoon in early September

when I first met the Illustrated Man.

Walking along an asphalt road,

I was on the final leg of a two weeks’ walking tour of Wisconsin.

Late in the afternoon I stopped, ate some pork, beans, and a doughnut,

and was preparing to stretch out and read

when the Illustrated Man walked over the hill

and stood for a moment against the sky.

I didn’t know he was illustrated then.

I only know that he was tall, once well muscled,

but now, for some reason, going to fat.

I recall that his arms were long, and the hands thick,

but that his face was like a child’s, set upon a massive body.

He seemed only to sense my presence,

You too can Auto-Tune your life using the ace Songify app (here) created by The Gregory Brothers (here).