waterpark

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Verrückt: the world’s tallest, steepest, and fastest water slide. Located at the Schlitterbahn Waterpark in Kansas City, Verrückt was recently certified as the world’s tallest by the Guinness World Records at 168-feet and 7-inches. That makes it taller than the Niagara Falls and the Statue of Liberty! Verrückt requires four riders, who all sit in one raft. They shoot down a tunnel enclosed by a netting at speeds of up to 65 mph and then ascend back up a five-story incline before hurling back down another 50 feet.

The Signs At A Waterpark

Aries: Sneaks up on Cancer and throws them into the wave pool; ends up having to escort them to the first aid station

Taurus: Stubbornly refuses to listen to Capricorn when told that they should eat in the car; buys food at the waterpark; doesn’t wait an hour before going in the water; ends up getting massive cramps and almost drowning

Gemini: Checking out the passerby in revealing bathing suits and trying to collect the numbers of the people who have better beach bodies

Cancer: Trying not to go on the more intense rides because they don’t want to get hurt or drown; ends up being thrown in the wave pool by Aries and hurting themselves

Leo: Making jokes behind Gemini’s back and scooping up all the numbers that Gemini ends up being rejected for

Virgo: Has their feet in the wave pool and is reading a book, working on their tan; gets pissed off when Aries throws cancer in because their whole body and THEIR BOOK gets wet

Libra: Makes new friends with the park workers and ends up being able to cut in line in every single ride

Scorpio: Rebels against the rules, goes down the giant slide on their stomach, and gets kicked out of the park

Sagittarius: Is the one who dared Scorpio to break the rules, so they leave the park and go see the newest horror movie with Scorpio because they feel bad for getting them kicked out

Capricorn: Walks in the park, and immediately gets hired to work there part time by the manager

Aquarius: Pretending to be a pirate on the kiddy boat ride; surprisingly just gets left alone rather than kicked out

Pisces: Eating an ice cream cone and watching other people’s kids for them