I’ve spent the past 2 days scrambling to finish off my new designs but they’re finally on sale in my Etsy shop (FloraPatch)!

I’m really proud of these new ones (and there are even more none pink ones in my shop if pink’s not your colour)

Aaaaand please don’t remove my caption :)


How To Skin A Watermelon

I’m biased because I don’t even like watermelon but this…

…straight up looks like dog penis and I rebuke it.

Why would you even want to skin a watermelon?  I thought people liked eating it out of the rind?  How do you walk around eating it with nothing to hold on to?  Do you cut it up into cubes?  That just seems too bougie for watermelon.

(And if you watch the video, why would you want to waste this kind of time for nothing!) 

I really don’t have any life experience with this because I don’t even try watermelon anymore.  Just smelling it makes me want to gag, and it’s not like I’m one of those tacky “I only eat french fries and chicken tenders” picky eaters or anything.  I just have a list of things I can’t stomach and watermelon (ALL MELON) is at the top:

  • melons, but especially watermelon and canteloupe
  • cucumbers (in sushi is OK if it’s not too much)
  • coconut shavings (flavor is OK though)
  • olives (but Miss Judi did find an olive a couple of months ago that I really liked)
  • cilantro (it tastes like soap, but if there’s a teensy amount, I can handle it)

That’s it.  I even like beets and liver.  Watermelon is a big NO in perpetuity, and after this dogpenis moment, I won’t be able to look at it the same way ever again.  Please find something better to do.  If you ever want to “skin a watermelon” for me, put it down and fry me some chicken instead.  I’m 100% here for that stereotype, and I might have just typed my way into needing some fried chicken for lunch actually…

(PS Skip to 2:10 if you want to have the whitest moment of your day.  Y’all, he said potato salad was gross & lame and nobody really likes it.  That’s why I don’t go to white BBQs because the potato salad is indeed gross & lame over there.)

I’m having some watermelon with #reginatordadog this morning 🐶 He loves it! 🍉💗 Thank you to everyone who commented and reported regarding my stolen photos! Instagram removed them! 🙌 I appreciate your support so much and thank you for all the positive vibes! I hope you have a great day! xx
#vegan #healthy #instafood #cleaneating #healthyeating #vegansofig #whatveganseat #plantbased #veganfoodshare #veganfood #veganfoodporn #healthyfoodshare #veganism #hclf #veganlife #rawtill4 #vegansofinstagram #highcarb #veganlifestyle #poweredbyplants #starchsolution #highcarblowfat #whatveganslooklike #starchivore #rawtillwhenever #watermelon

Watermelon and feta salad with pan-roasted shishito peppers and lime vinaigrette

Sweet watermelon, salty feta and succulent shishito peppers make a simple but perfect summer salad recipe. Both mouthwatering and stunning!

Pin it: http://bit.ly/1UnBIPf

So I’ve been massively procrastinating on my 100 follower special. I wasn’t sure what I could post that would express my gratitude and love for all of you, even the bots. This is it. My dog eating a big ol titty piece of watermalen. Happy 8th birthday Max and happy 100 followers to me! Love you all fam. Heres to a whole bunch more shitposts. ( I got more 8th bday doge videos if needed)