water u doing with ur life

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

sometimes you fall down in life and it sucks!!!!!! like it’s actually terrible but… hey. u gotta get back up champ bc u r a STAR. in other words, i have fallen down recently and this is how i plan on getting back up. bc i am a star.

starting easy

  • clean your room bc outer peace brings inner peace
  • clean yourself bc outer peace brings inner peace and this means removing your makeup washing your face brushing your teeth combing your hair wearing nice-smelling clothes
  • drink a glass of water because hydration. important.
  • play a happy song like rlly whatever u want that makes u happy and want to dance
  • i know this might sound hard but like u got this i believe in u

moving on

  • ok this is hard part but u still got this love
  • think about everything that is wrong literally like EVERYTHING but maybe not everything bc maybe it will stress you out but maybe writing it will be cathartic whatever works for u
  • find solutions for those problems
    • i know i make it sound super easy and i know it’s actually really hard but usually u know what the solution is just something is holding u back
    • so rlly decide that that is the solution
    • tell urself, “this is how i am going to fix this”
  • to make this very hard and difficult step, please be nice to yourself by listening to cool tunes and rocking eyeliner
  • it rlly helps
  • organising your thoughts is also useful bc organisation
    • i have heard a bullet journal is rlly gr8 for this because like u get to plan ur days but also write random crap that’s not actually random crap but instead very good crap like “how to cheer up when sad” it’s all there in one notebook !!! radical eh

the step where you get back up

  • set urself up for success by sleeping early and waking up early bc sleep is like soooOo important u have no idea
  • exercise bc endorphins and all that good stuff and drink water and eat yo vegetables
  • do the shit that u planned to do in the previous step even if it’s hard i know it’s hard life is hard but u r hardier u r a star

stay on track

  • k so a lot of ppl r like “discipline > motivation” which i 100% agree but like motivation is also nice
  • have someone believe in u/someone u can talk to and be ur ray of sunshine like this is rlly helpful
  • find a purpose for whatever u want to do like what is ur reason for going through the shitty path of life and choosing this hard decision
  • typical motivational quotes like idk about u but i fall for those every single time
  • pep talk urself and fake enthusiasm even if u don’t want to like isn’t it radical how the only person holding u back is u

forgive yourself

  • ur life will go on track and then back off again!!! bc u r a human and humans make mistakes
  • don’t u get all mopey on urself and be like “i have ruined my life” like stop being so dramatic tough love ik but like U R ALIVE AND THAT MEANS U GTA KEEP KICKIN AT SMTHING
  • u can mope for a bit and when u do mope mope ur heart out like cry and use tissues and whatever u need but like limit ur moping period bc u need to move on
  • bad things will happen to u bc life and no matter how much ppl want to help u only u can rlly help urself
  • ur life ur decisions. forgive urself and start over again (refer to beginning of this post)

fun little reminders

  • u have the most beautiful smile
  • my inbox is always open if u need a pep talk and i will always fight ur negativity with my jaw-dropping, amazing, radiant positivity
  • u! r! a! star!!!!11!11!!1111!!!!!!!!3
  • cake makes everything better
  • leonardo dicaprio is still single
  • i love u unless ur mean don’t be mean plS
  • <3

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’
‘  i hope you end up ok  ’
‘  i’m crying my best  ’
‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’
‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’
‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’
‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’
‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’
‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’
‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’
‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’
‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’
‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’
‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’
‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’
‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’
‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’
‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’
‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’
‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’
‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’
‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’
‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’
‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’
‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’
‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’
‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’
‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’
‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’
‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’
‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’
‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’
‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’
‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’
‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’
‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’
‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’
‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’
‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’
‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’
‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’
‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’
‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’
‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’
‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’
‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’
‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’
‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’
‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’
‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’
‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To  ’
‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’
‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’
‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’
‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’
‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’
‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’
‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’
‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’
‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’
‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’
‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’
‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’
‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’
‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’
‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’
‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’
‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’
‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’
‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’
‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’
‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’
‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’
‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’
‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’
‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’
‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’
‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’
‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’
‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’
‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’
‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’
‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’
‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’
‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’
‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’
‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’
‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’
‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’
‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’
‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’
‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’
‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’
‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’
‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’
‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’
‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’
‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’
‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’
‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’
‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’
‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’
‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’
‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’
‘  haha oops i care about you  ’
‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’
‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’
‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’
‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’
‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’
‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’
‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’
‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’
‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’
‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’
‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’
‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

ARCHAEOLOGIST LADIES LISTEN UP!

You GOTTA acquire a GoGirl urination device! god it sounds weird af but hear me out:
GoGirl is a device that allows you to pee while standing(!!), made of medical grade silicone, compact, hygenic and easy to use. It looks like this

and is the size of your motherfucking PALM at most. It even comes in different colors if you wanna be all fancy about your synthetic dick. ALSO its really cheap - like $10 on Amazon.

I recently got it and it works SO WELL. You take a leak in the field, wash it off with water, put it in a plastic bag and BOOM youre done (just wash it with soap when u get home, dont be a disgusting animal). It also doesnt smell, minus the generic tolerable medical grade silicone smell. 

I legit will never have to squat in another scorpion/snake/other subhuman cretin infested excavation site ever again with this. Imagine having to climb up a 50ft ladder to get out of a murky neanderthal cave to take a leak and having to SQUAT to do so. UGH, right? Go get this life saving thingy and NEVER BRUSH UR ASSCHEEKS ON SPIKEY PLANTS EVER AGAIN. I LEGIT CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH THIS IS MAKING MY DIGGING LIFE SO MUCH EASIER.

the signs as pokémon types

aries- fighting- aggressive, physical, powerful, afraid of birds

taurus- normal- well-loved, classic, snorlax

gemini- electric- quick, shocking, created by accident in a powerplant

cancer- bug, poison- annoying kill u slowly, most are weak but some are surprisingly strong

leo- fire- burn bright, explosive when enraged, lit

virgo- grass- slowly drain ur life force to heal themselves

libra- fairy/ice- pretty to look at, pretty useless in a fight

scorpio- dark, ghost- spiteful, hold grudges, curse, occasionally bite

sagittarius- dragon - see bagon pokedex entry 

capricorn- ground, rock, steel- hardened, impossible to penetrate, DO NOT GET WET UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE

aquarius- flying, psychic- smart, free, weak and easy to kill

pisces- water- fish wtf did u expect

so it’s pretty daunting, going from being a student in the lower school to being a sixth former, and dropping down from having around 10-14 subjects down to 3-5, as well as the introduction of new peers or moving schools. Ive done it so im gonna spread some of what ive learnt from this past year to you younger folks

genereal

  • homies get ur folders big and durable, especially for things like maths (my friend used up a whole thick binder for maths by Christmas, so keep that in mind)
  • don’t feel u have to spend loads on supplies, u’ll probably break them/lose them
  • but don’t feel you cant have ur nice studyspo stationary u do u boo
  • get urself a big ass refill pad. That is your life now. Don’t lose it.
  • I would recommend getting an a4 expandable file (i have one from flying tiger) for putting any loose sheets/things that need hole-punching/things that need filing. I got one at the beginning of the year and it has saved my life and watered my crops ever since
  • always bring ur textbooks to lessons
  • if you don’t use poly pockets (I don’t) then keep at least one at the back of every folder to put in stuff that doesn’t fit or whatever
  • if you want to take rough notes and rewrite them, then do it, but u might get left behind in copying up, so be aware of that
  • do ur homework in ur frees
  • no messin around
  • i mean it
  • keep up any sports/hobbies. These will keep you sane during times of stress, trust me (my weekly dance lessons keep me sane, I don’t think id be as chill as I am without them)
  • don’t feel pressured into getting a job/learning to drive if you don’t want/need to.
  • same goes for drinkin and parties. Yall are underaged obviously but that doesn’t mean that ppl aren’t gonna do it, so don’t feel u have to if you don’t want to
  • for the first few weeks/months (say until Christmas) be really on top of your homework, always hand it in on time. Then if you need an extension on something, teach will be more chill with giving you an extension than if you are always late giving in homework
  • ton’t overwork ourselves, give yourself some free time
  • try and make at least one friend for each subject (if you don’t already have any) so if you miss a lesson u have someone to catch up from
  • if you want to, try out for prefect/house official roles. Its good practise for job interviews, and if you don’t try, u’ll never know
  • also if it doesn’t work out don’t  get too down (or bitter)
  • help the younger years and don’t be mean to them. Yes they are small and very scared of u so be nice.

questions:

@amazingmeghanisnotonfire

How is the work load different ?? And how does it feel from going from 7 subjects (?) To only a few ?

generally, you are expected to do more work independently, like doing reading/extra reading around the subject and revising throughout the year, as well as essays more frequently than for gcse. however, for my subjects, the amount of work has felt a lot less, as I have free periods within the week, where I got the majority of my work done

I went from doing 13 subjects down to 5, and it honestly felt so liberating, especially now that im doing subjects that I actually care about, and even though all of my lessons are longer now, they don’t seem to drag on nearly as much as the single shorter lessons I had last year, for things like maths or biology, and I don’t feel like the work is as dull bc I enjoy the subjects.

@iluvstaplers

This is kinda a complicated question but i’d love if you answered it, so for igcse bio for example, each chapter (2-3 pages) would take maybe a class or two to go over it, how many classes or hours does each chapter take during a levels?

honestly, it depends on what classes you do. for me, for English, we’ve spent roughly a term on each section, like modernist poetry one term and then Dracula and Dorian analysis the next term, but for economics, it can take between one lesson to two weeks of lessons to cover a topic, depending on how long the chapter is and how quickly  your class picks it up.

@estudier

how do you cope with such heavy content?

Im not sure entirely what u mean by heavy content, but for things that are maybe more dry in subject (like history) honestly do some extra reading to help you understand things better, it doesn’t even have to be books, it can be youtube videos, podcasts, songs, just something separate from ur textbook and class notes to help get a fresh perspective/someone else explaining it to you can really help (crash course is good, even if u aren’t a fan of john green)

anon

i’m starting a levels in september at a different school that no one i know is going to, what would your advice be for making friends and getting the most out of my time there? your blog is gold btw xx

umm, get yourself out there, be nice, smile at people and make eye contact, try and sit with people when you begin class, try not to isolate yourself from people. I personally didn’t move schools, but the people that joined our were all super rad great fun and have integrated into friendship groups which is pretty rad,  and ive made some pretty great friends with the new people, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Also there will definitely be new people there as well, so try not to stress too much! (also find something to talk about, like our whole form bonded during futures week over bake off and Brexit (it happened in the introduction week)) also I find that generally ppl are more chill and grown up in sixth form? and the people there want to be there but yeah (yikes I rambled a lot!)

if u have any other specific questions, feel free to ask me!

love, helena 🐝

honestly im lacking in jason & dick interactions when he was robin so from some of my personal interactions with my siblings:

- jason throwing shoes at dick cowering behind the door, yelling about three different arguments. dick is collecting the shoes for ammunition. bruce is regretting all of his life choices

- dick grayson voice: okay jason where do we tell bruce to stick his grapes?

jason voice: in the fridge

dick voice: no

- dick ambushes jason with a water hanging upside down from the taller floor’s balcony. however, once he gets jason directly in the face, he loses his grip and falls. during the drive to the hospital jason and babs (over the phone) r hardcore making fun of dick

- jason went w/ dick to a park once. they biked there and while dick was impressing small children, jason was going down a rather large hill and lost control of the bike, sending him into a trashcan. when he was brought back by an elderly couple, dick denied knowing him.

- dick and jason never snitched on each other to bruce or alfred.

-jason, when able, would frequently visit dick in bludhaven. usually it was for the general company and they would both go out to watch movies.

- dick dropped off the map for a solid six months after he found out about jason’s death. to this day, none of the batfamily are sure what he was up to and the teen titans won’t elaborate.

myrobotlandlord  asked:

headcanon: when u write something thats even borderline smut, you type it with a super big grin on ur face with a glass of water nearby.

i’ll have you know i actually burst out laughing when i read this XD

lmao did you come to this conclusion because you know i’m a thirsty hoe?

unfortunately, i do not write smut with such enthusiasm and acceptance of my hoeness, although stupid facial expressions and beverages are involved (lots of embarrassed looks and i drink coffee as my life source lmao) so i suppose that you’re not exactly too far off LMAO

i don’t know if thats a good or bad thing >w>

tfw ur ex takes ur passport and leaves it at his new gf’s house and u go get it and the new gf is super pretty but she doesn’t have time to help u find ur passport (bc she’s flying to indonesia) so she makes u go into her house and get it -_- and then she has all the lights on!!! during the day!!! anyways she said u weren’t supposed to touch anything but u do and then when u have to go use the restroom a girl is taking a bath in the shower and then she goes back and u think u gave her a heart attack bc she’s like dead looking and not responding in the tub but then she’s actually not and afterwards after u get new clothes bc she tried to smother u in the water she does this stupid hiccup thing and then kisses u and calls it cpr and u end up telling ur life story to her and ur like oh shit i want to kiss her again and she offers to grill u mackerel for the rest of ur lives and grow old together and u make out w her again. and u still didn’t get ur passport yet.#justrelatablethings

a short summary of each bts member
  • rapmon: if u smell an iq of 148 and converse rubber soles then it's gotta be namjoon. has a very concerning obsession with red converse highs. he is called the god of destruction bc he will break your heart. wears headbands but doesn't play any sports.
  • jin: do you see the most handsome one? yeah. that's him. he thinks so too. an eligible contestant for masterchef. actually a blessing and one of his many talents is eating. also owns an aesthetically pleasing pink flip phone.
  • suga: the baby dandelion that can also turn into satan in a span of 0.31974 seconds. according to several studies, his chain is worth 4 dollars now. physical embodiment of 'cute but psycho'. his smile will actually kill you.
  • j-hope: if u hear screaming and satoori then congrats cause you've found hoseok the multitalented sunshine who gets emotional n deserves all the love in the world. his phobias include his own voice and snakeus. he also hates dirty water.
  • jimin: the rudest one of all. he is either being a tease or being stinking adorable. legend has it that if you witness his eye smile irl ur skin clears up and u get a 100 bucks. he is also a very fragile angel pls handle him carefully
  • taehyung: a beautiful human who keeps in touch with his family often. somehow always manages to find babies and likes puppies. he has a voice deeper than rapmonster's outlook of life. he is also a living meme.
  • jungkook: international playboy who used to do nothing but play video games but now this butt is a goddamn all rounder. the biggest gd fanboy. if u see the sweaty one then it's probably ya boy kookie!!

anonymous asked:

gayndsoft, blushyalec, claryfire, softmagnusbane, and lightshook

@gayndsoft omg someone finally mentioning jodie to me??? yes bless, anyway jodie is the greatest, i love her with all my heart and i would do anything to protect her??? listen if ur not following jodie then what r u doing with ur life. she will make u smile so hard. trust. ALSO SHE’S SO PRETTY. like wow????

@blushyalec what’s up jules, welcome back. i love you a whole lot and i love making u smile when i send you pictures of pups, YOU DESERVE TO SMILE, i wish portals were a thing so i can portal to her and just hug her all day long

@claryfire ELENA ur back, hey hey. i hope you’re still doing good, are you happy? are you healthy? did you drink enough water? i hope so. anyways i love u and ur the greatest <3

@softmagnusbane JAY i was kinda hoping someone would mention you here and i’m so glad they did. anyways first, if ya’ll are not following jay then ??? pls go do so right now, they are amazing and just a ball of sunshine. i really hope you’re having a good day. i only want you to be happy ok??? ily 

@lightshook JACKIE UR BACK AGAIN AND UR STILL NOT AWAKE. shame shame. anyways u are the best, you mean the world to me and honestly i just wanna see u so bad. why does the world keep us apart? not nice. i hope you get emo by all this. (i know u will)

anonymously send me a url, and i’ll tell you what i think of them!

Seungcheol

  • doesn’t know what’s happening
  • real life mr. krabs part 2 but doesn’t take long to realise and busts out some moves
  • but seriously lmao pls stop dancing he’s had a long busy day and he just wants to sleep now w his s/o ;;;)))

Originally posted by the-ultimate-yehet


Jeonghan

  • i imagine he’d be quite similar to scoups in the sense that he’s shook but for different reasons
  • he’s knows what’s up and is impressed like ho damn that’s my baby
  • sits in the corner and watches probably while eating something

Originally posted by hanwooz


Jisoo

  • “oh wow, you guys are amazing!!” in the most earnest and pure way
  • Home Boy takes interest in your life and asks questions about how you practiced how long etc.
  • takes it very seriously makes your dance squad snacks and packs u guys water bottles even though you do it for fun at home

Originally posted by wonshi-17


Junhui

  • i’m not saying that he hits on your friend but he hits on ur friend least it ain’t your sister
  • DON’T WORRY he’s just trying to get your attention bc he’s been home for two hours and you haven’t said hello
  • takes you out date in the near future and it’s at a rose garden and you slow dance HHHH

Originally posted by nugutaegi


Soonyoung

  • will become a maniac fan of your non-existent dance group
  • becomes really good friends with your sis and guy friends even though sometimes they’re intimidating
  • helps you out with dance moves u r stuck on and makes a crazy fan chant that NOBODY CAN BLOODY SAY BUT HIM

Originally posted by wonnhao

ok i exaggerated the chant isn’t that hard lmao


Wonwoo

  • confused and doesn’t understand y u gotta dance with other b o y s
  • not that he doesn’t trust either end but that he’s never met them and they’re probably an inch or two taller than him which is scary
  • wears his glasses to watch you guys practice and tries to learn it too INCLUDE HIM

Originally posted by itswonwoodarling


Jihoon

  • doesn’t get too upset other than the fact that he indeed finds it strange that at 3am u r dancing
  • gets mad at your friends for keeping you and your sister up and kicks them out of the house but doesnt let ur sister go bc it is dark and DANGer and this boy is a considerate softy
  • lowkey very proud and supports you in an underdog way

Originally posted by cutiepatoodie


DK

  • double takes about 30 times?? never seen you move so much in the time span of like three minutes?? the formation is so clean?? who r u??
  • showers you in compliments and wants you to dance with him too
  • likes it when you do the shaky rolly thing doesn’t like it when you are performing in front of other people and they like it too

Originally posted by j1nwoo


Mingyu

he’d want to brag about you he is a very braggy person but lowkey
he would be like whooaa when he saw you dancing but it wouldn’t really be a big deal
BUT THE ENXT NIGHT the boys are over and he is spilling them beans uncontrollably he’s overexcited and proud of u :’)

Originally posted by saysvteen


Minghao

  • shy and flustered would try to leave the room but hits the doorframe lmao
  • likes to watch and does the little dance moves from where he’s sitting and it’s so adorable you kick out ur friend so minghao can do it with you
  • ur sister + kicked out friend r not impressed but minghao is so happy and nothing else matters

Originally posted by 17-percent


Seungkwan

  • does the exact face GD does on weekly idol like 3000 times, you know the one where he’s highkey shook when he cant recognize his song
  • you bet my shit ass he will be ur number one cheerleader
  • loves that you can dance and you are good at dancing and just loves you 10x harder

Originally posted by minkwantrash9798

lmao seungkwan here actually kind of resembles GD’s shook face hahahahahahah im ded

Vernon

shy baby boi so flustered
but ur friends and sis are so nice to him and make him feel comfortable around them and it makes u happy bc everyone is happy
helps u guys film your dance vid :’)))

Originally posted by wonshi-17


Dino

  • i’ve only got one word for you: betrayal
  • he is heartbroken that u r dancing?? to oh nana?? without him??
  • gets jealous of ur guy friend because HE should be beside them not him lmao dino is a baby understand him

Originally posted by hosoeks


wowowow i am incredibly tired

mod kimchi!!

anonymous asked:

In Ohio the weather is constantly changing it can go from a down pour to the sun shining and I understand how thick the air can get. So to keep cool I -put shirts in gallon bags and put them in the freezer over night and wear them the next day (life saver omg) -drink lots of water and snack on some ice -putting box fans in the window to suck the warm air out of ur house (depending on which way u put them) -need more oxygen in ur house so it's not stuffy? get aloe plants - fans !! everywhere !!

same anon with more tips -if u got a dog an ice block with some treats in it should keep em hydrated!! -sleep in your under clothes and if you’re someone who needs a blanket a light sheet should do -if you’re walking anywhere bring an umbrella for shade - sleep with a fan on in your room -keep your blinds and curtains closed don’t let the sun in -sleep on the floor or sleep downstairs (heat rises) -make sure your feet stay cold it will help cool u off -put ur sheets in the freezer b4 bed!

Omg you’re a lifesaver thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it :) The t shirt thing is SUCH a great idea!!! 

anonymous asked:

HELLO IM SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING BUT IM HERE ILY!! Life's been crazy recently and I keep meaning to send in asks but I always go mia, I hope you're doing good! I just want to let you know that you're a sunshine angel and you fill those who look at you with joy and their hearts with honey,, looking at you is like drinking a glass of water from the freshest spring and breathing the crispest morning breeze on a cool spring day- refreshing. You're a regal goddess and I appreciate your existence-🐝

AHH ur back love u?!!!!!! ty sweet anon im lov u

things 2 do when u hit rock bottom horoscopes
  • aries: it's time that u took the leadership role of that secret undercover society you've been fake ignoring 4 so long. like sure u know ur a team player but u were destined to be the leader plus steve wasn't doing shit anyway fuck steve ur gonna be on fuckin tv
  • taurus: u did a gr8 job at keeping shit 2gether when everyone flaked off but hey this wasn't ur responsibility people are gonna learn the hard way so now is ur time to party down hard and make out with the hottie near the water feature as the good lord intended bless u
  • gemini: go hella baller and disappoint ur fam by following ur dreams u were gonna upset them anyway but at least you'll b working with your own guide lines also enjoy the quieter moments in life but embrace the chaos. steal your exes car and watch it burn to hilary duff's so yesterday
  • cancer: it is ok to let it all out for once u don't owe strength to anyone like if walking alone on a beach for a week sobbing it all out is gonna help u do it just drink a lot of water and make sure some one is feeding u along the way also call ur loved ones some time soon they miss u
  • leo: ur generous as hell but 4 too long theres been to many fuckwads taking advantage of ur kindness don't be afraid to ditch ppl who don't nourish u, the people deserving of your warmth and devotions are those who will meet u @ rock bottom, ur a human ligh bulb anyway so
  • virgo: go the fuck off virgo. u've tried the whole diplomatic garbage fest and all that's handed u is fucking chad stealing ur house and ur car so fuck u chad but u have nothing to lose here call out everyone's bullshit, make that fucking burn book and rise from the flames RISE
  • libra: look at u with ur rad people skills and ur diplomacy and the whole life of the party but where are the those parties at rock bottom? guess what u don't owe everyone ur attention or empathy pick a side this time PICK YOUR SIDE
  • scorpio: u don't owe people the kind of goodness you're performing to those who are gonna read u wrong anyway, if people don't get that you're a charming and complex and emotional being then fuck them fuck them all it is ur party 2 day and u can do what ever u want
  • sagittarius: 2 many assholes worked hard on putting u down but just bc ur @ rock bottom doesn't mean you've lost out on ur pursuit, take it as a hibernation phase bc when u get out there again ur gonna be haunting them in aesthetically displeasing dreams for the rest of their weenie lives
  • capricorn: everyone's looking at u down here like "how the fuck did u get here" bc ur a capricorn, u don't plan for failure u took every step to not have failure buess what, u did and u know what ur gonna do? ur gonna take failure by the horns and say "i'm not afraid of u" go hella baller
  • aquarius: ur one of the few people who'll look at rock bottom and start thinking about how can u make life better for people down here. idk what is with u being a natural humanitarian and all but in a world that likes to knock the shit out of tenderness and empathy, u got that locked down.
  • pisces: u c the thing about u is that u probs knew that rock bottom was gonna happen eventually so while every1 else is pity buying a pet shark u already figured out how ur gonna spend your time here and before anyone else decided to waddle out, you've bounced back in a way THAT NO ONE EXPECTED BC UR A PISCES
What the signs should focus on in 2017!

Aries- you really need to work hard this year and endurance is key. Try not to get so easily angered and shocked when things happen that could’ve been predicted way before. You know when you are being over emotional so suck it up and watch a good film to calm down. You can be selfish, but you really do need to focus on what you want this year to grow. Eat more fruit lol.

Taurus- educate yourself on topics you wouldnt usually look into (you stick to what you know too much), hanging with new peeps will benefit you this year and a change of style- you’re gonna have to change someday so go outside and gain real experiences. Also stop complaining so much when you may not be innocent all the time.

Keep reading

I literally can’t imagine hating on a girl for doing something that makes her happy or feel good about herself. Like what kind of sour demon loser do u have to be to actually take time out of ur day to contemplate how ur gonna make a perfect girl feel bad about herself?? Lmao get a job! Get a life! Drink some water!

svnteenteenteen  asked:

I've been rly invested in SHINEE lately like I've just been binging shinee crack vids lately u kno livin life

oh my gOD do you know valentae on youtube?? she literally has the best crack @babyjbum and i quote it all day every day