water u doing with ur life

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

Period magick tea

Ingredients:
1 lemon
Ginger, powdered/ grated
Boiling water
Any crystals you want (think of their purpose)
Sugar, honey, or any other sweetener (optional)
Probably a mug or a cup but hey I don’t run ur life bb. You do you boo

Aight listen up u hormonal cranky angry grizzly queen (or king I don’t judge fam I’m a trans boy myself) . U gotta go turn on ya stove and boil some mf water. It can be moon water, sun water, whatever the fuck you want it’s just gotta be h2O fam.
Cut ya lemon in half and squeeze its nice ass juice into ya water b4 it boils. Keep the lemon tho we not done w/ it yet bb.

Grate ya ginger into a cup, add at least a few (3-4???) teaspoons if it’s fresh but if it’s powdered idk a teaspoon or two.

Aight now go lay out a crystal grid and put ya cup in the middle. Pour ya boiling water in there boo.

Yell at ur tea “fuck these cramps and bloody bullshit I’m fucking sick of ur shit uterus” to charge it w/ ur intent and then throw the entire lemon in it.

Add ur sweetener and enjoy bby

sometimes you fall down in life and it sucks!!!!!! like it’s actually terrible but… hey. u gotta get back up champ bc u r a STAR. in other words, i have fallen down recently and this is how i plan on getting back up. bc i am a star.

starting easy

  • clean your room bc outer peace brings inner peace
  • clean yourself bc outer peace brings inner peace and this means removing your makeup washing your face brushing your teeth combing your hair wearing nice-smelling clothes
  • drink a glass of water because hydration. important.
  • play a happy song like rlly whatever u want that makes u happy and want to dance
  • i know this might sound hard but like u got this i believe in u

moving on

  • ok this is hard part but u still got this love
  • think about everything that is wrong literally like EVERYTHING but maybe not everything bc maybe it will stress you out but maybe writing it will be cathartic whatever works for u
  • find solutions for those problems
    • i know i make it sound super easy and i know it’s actually really hard but usually u know what the solution is just something is holding u back
    • so rlly decide that that is the solution
    • tell urself, “this is how i am going to fix this”
  • to make this very hard and difficult step, please be nice to yourself by listening to cool tunes and rocking eyeliner
  • it rlly helps
  • organising your thoughts is also useful bc organisation
    • i have heard a bullet journal is rlly gr8 for this because like u get to plan ur days but also write random crap that’s not actually random crap but instead very good crap like “how to cheer up when sad” it’s all there in one notebook !!! radical eh

the step where you get back up

  • set urself up for success by sleeping early and waking up early bc sleep is like soooOo important u have no idea
  • exercise bc endorphins and all that good stuff and drink water and eat yo vegetables
  • do the shit that u planned to do in the previous step even if it’s hard i know it’s hard life is hard but u r hardier u r a star

stay on track

  • k so a lot of ppl r like “discipline > motivation” which i 100% agree but like motivation is also nice
  • have someone believe in u/someone u can talk to and be ur ray of sunshine like this is rlly helpful
  • find a purpose for whatever u want to do like what is ur reason for going through the shitty path of life and choosing this hard decision
  • typical motivational quotes like idk about u but i fall for those every single time
  • pep talk urself and fake enthusiasm even if u don’t want to like isn’t it radical how the only person holding u back is u

forgive yourself

  • ur life will go on track and then back off again!!! bc u r a human and humans make mistakes
  • don’t u get all mopey on urself and be like “i have ruined my life” like stop being so dramatic tough love ik but like U R ALIVE AND THAT MEANS U GTA KEEP KICKIN AT SMTHING
  • u can mope for a bit and when u do mope mope ur heart out like cry and use tissues and whatever u need but like limit ur moping period bc u need to move on
  • bad things will happen to u bc life and no matter how much ppl want to help u only u can rlly help urself
  • ur life ur decisions. forgive urself and start over again (refer to beginning of this post)

fun little reminders

  • u have the most beautiful smile
  • my inbox is always open if u need a pep talk and i will always fight ur negativity with my jaw-dropping, amazing, radiant positivity
  • u! r! a! star!!!!11!11!!1111!!!!!!!!3
  • cake makes everything better
  • leonardo dicaprio is still single
  • i love u unless ur mean don’t be mean plS
  • <3

✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’
‘  i hope you end up ok  ’
‘  i’m crying my best  ’
‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’
‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’
‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’
‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’
‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’
‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’
‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’
‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’
‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’
‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’
‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’
‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’
‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’
‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’
‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’
‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’
‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’
‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’
‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’
‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’
‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’
‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’
‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’
‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’
‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’
‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’
‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’
‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’
‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’
‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’
‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’
‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’
‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’
‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’
‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’
‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’
‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’
‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’
‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’
‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’
‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’
‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’
‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’
‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’
‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’
‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’
‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’
‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To  ’
‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’
‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’
‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’
‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’
‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’
‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’
‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’
‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’
‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’
‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’
‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’
‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’
‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’
‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’
‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’
‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’
‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’
‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’
‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’
‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’
‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’
‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’
‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’
‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’
‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’
‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’
‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’
‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’
‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’
‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’
‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’
‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’
‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’
‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’
‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’
‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’
‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’
‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’
‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’
‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’
‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’
‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’
‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’
‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’
‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’
‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’
‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’
‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’
‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’
‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’
‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’
‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’
‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’
‘  haha oops i care about you  ’
‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’
‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’
‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’
‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’
‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’
‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’
‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’
‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’
‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’
‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’
‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’
‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

ARCHAEOLOGIST LADIES LISTEN UP!

You GOTTA acquire a GoGirl urination device! god it sounds weird af but hear me out:
GoGirl is a device that allows you to pee while standing(!!), made of medical grade silicone, compact, hygenic and easy to use. It looks like this

and is the size of your motherfucking PALM at most. It even comes in different colors if you wanna be all fancy about your synthetic dick. ALSO its really cheap - like $10 on Amazon.

I recently got it and it works SO WELL. You take a leak in the field, wash it off with water, put it in a plastic bag and BOOM youre done (just wash it with soap when u get home, dont be a disgusting animal). It also doesnt smell, minus the generic tolerable medical grade silicone smell. 

I legit will never have to squat in another scorpion/snake/other subhuman cretin infested excavation site ever again with this. Imagine having to climb up a 50ft ladder to get out of a murky neanderthal cave to take a leak and having to SQUAT to do so. UGH, right? Go get this life saving thingy and NEVER BRUSH UR ASSCHEEKS ON SPIKEY PLANTS EVER AGAIN. I LEGIT CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH THIS IS MAKING MY DIGGING LIFE SO MUCH EASIER.

so it’s pretty daunting, going from being a student in the lower school to being a sixth former, and dropping down from having around 10-14 subjects down to 3-5, as well as the introduction of new peers or moving schools. Ive done it so im gonna spread some of what ive learnt from this past year to you younger folks

genereal

  • homies get ur folders big and durable, especially for things like maths (my friend used up a whole thick binder for maths by Christmas, so keep that in mind)
  • don’t feel u have to spend loads on supplies, u’ll probably break them/lose them
  • but don’t feel you cant have ur nice studyspo stationary u do u boo
  • get urself a big ass refill pad. That is your life now. Don’t lose it.
  • I would recommend getting an a4 expandable file (i have one from flying tiger) for putting any loose sheets/things that need hole-punching/things that need filing. I got one at the beginning of the year and it has saved my life and watered my crops ever since
  • always bring ur textbooks to lessons
  • if you don’t use poly pockets (I don’t) then keep at least one at the back of every folder to put in stuff that doesn’t fit or whatever
  • if you want to take rough notes and rewrite them, then do it, but u might get left behind in copying up, so be aware of that
  • do ur homework in ur frees
  • no messin around
  • i mean it
  • keep up any sports/hobbies. These will keep you sane during times of stress, trust me (my weekly dance lessons keep me sane, I don’t think id be as chill as I am without them)
  • don’t feel pressured into getting a job/learning to drive if you don’t want/need to.
  • same goes for drinkin and parties. Yall are underaged obviously but that doesn’t mean that ppl aren’t gonna do it, so don’t feel u have to if you don’t want to
  • for the first few weeks/months (say until Christmas) be really on top of your homework, always hand it in on time. Then if you need an extension on something, teach will be more chill with giving you an extension than if you are always late giving in homework
  • ton’t overwork ourselves, give yourself some free time
  • try and make at least one friend for each subject (if you don’t already have any) so if you miss a lesson u have someone to catch up from
  • if you want to, try out for prefect/house official roles. Its good practise for job interviews, and if you don’t try, u’ll never know
  • also if it doesn’t work out don’t  get too down (or bitter)
  • help the younger years and don’t be mean to them. Yes they are small and very scared of u so be nice.

questions:

@amazingmeghanisnotonfire

How is the work load different ?? And how does it feel from going from 7 subjects (?) To only a few ?

generally, you are expected to do more work independently, like doing reading/extra reading around the subject and revising throughout the year, as well as essays more frequently than for gcse. however, for my subjects, the amount of work has felt a lot less, as I have free periods within the week, where I got the majority of my work done

I went from doing 13 subjects down to 5, and it honestly felt so liberating, especially now that im doing subjects that I actually care about, and even though all of my lessons are longer now, they don’t seem to drag on nearly as much as the single shorter lessons I had last year, for things like maths or biology, and I don’t feel like the work is as dull bc I enjoy the subjects.

@iluvstaplers

This is kinda a complicated question but i’d love if you answered it, so for igcse bio for example, each chapter (2-3 pages) would take maybe a class or two to go over it, how many classes or hours does each chapter take during a levels?

honestly, it depends on what classes you do. for me, for English, we’ve spent roughly a term on each section, like modernist poetry one term and then Dracula and Dorian analysis the next term, but for economics, it can take between one lesson to two weeks of lessons to cover a topic, depending on how long the chapter is and how quickly  your class picks it up.

@estudier

how do you cope with such heavy content?

Im not sure entirely what u mean by heavy content, but for things that are maybe more dry in subject (like history) honestly do some extra reading to help you understand things better, it doesn’t even have to be books, it can be youtube videos, podcasts, songs, just something separate from ur textbook and class notes to help get a fresh perspective/someone else explaining it to you can really help (crash course is good, even if u aren’t a fan of john green)

anon

i’m starting a levels in september at a different school that no one i know is going to, what would your advice be for making friends and getting the most out of my time there? your blog is gold btw xx

umm, get yourself out there, be nice, smile at people and make eye contact, try and sit with people when you begin class, try not to isolate yourself from people. I personally didn’t move schools, but the people that joined our were all super rad great fun and have integrated into friendship groups which is pretty rad,  and ive made some pretty great friends with the new people, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Also there will definitely be new people there as well, so try not to stress too much! (also find something to talk about, like our whole form bonded during futures week over bake off and Brexit (it happened in the introduction week)) also I find that generally ppl are more chill and grown up in sixth form? and the people there want to be there but yeah (yikes I rambled a lot!)

if u have any other specific questions, feel free to ask me!

love, helena 🐝
the signs as pokémon types

aries- fighting- aggressive, physical, powerful, afraid of birds

taurus- normal- well-loved, classic, snorlax

gemini- electric- quick, shocking, created by accident in a powerplant

cancer- bug, poison- annoying kill u slowly, most are weak but some are surprisingly strong

leo- fire- burn bright, explosive when enraged, lit

virgo- grass- slowly drain ur life force to heal themselves

libra- fairy/ice- pretty to look at, pretty useless in a fight

scorpio- dark, ghost- spiteful, hold grudges, curse, occasionally bite

sagittarius- dragon - see bagon pokedex entry 

capricorn- ground, rock, steel- hardened, impossible to penetrate, DO NOT GET WET UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE

aquarius- flying, psychic- smart, free, weak and easy to kill

pisces- water- fish wtf did u expect

STARS SIGNS EXPOSED

LEO: supposed to be a lion and how many gazelles u killed in the last month? fake

AQUARIUS: oh, an “air sign” that is the “water bearer.” we all know ur a greedy double-signing bitch. also pottery isn’t hot anymore

CAPRICORN: goats eat garbage and guess what u do? u pay money for the garbage that u eat

ARIES: ur full of hot air it’s right in the name. go inflate a mattress or something

GEMINI: twins are evil and sexual this is universal knowledge

SCORPIO: also evil and sexual but not in a young way. ur butt can murder people

LIBRA: u have never done anything in ur entire life. go outside

PISCES: tbh ur main problem is that ur a fucking fish. I can’t help u with that

CANCER: ur literally named after a horrible and pervasive disease? I kid the real problem is ur stan accounts

SAGGITARIUS: no one even knows what the heck ur sign is. seriously. what is it jk I don’t even care

VIRGO: it’s 2017 and virginity is a myth perpetuated to allow patriarchal society to control women’s bodies.  can’t u all be like Fred or something

TAURUS: nothing is wrong with u. ur good

anonymous asked:

Hi.:. Can u write a fic where Chris goes ‘Darren u are not kissing me till you wash your mouth! You just kissed a tortoise!!!!’.. thanks!! love ur fics!!!

Reaction Fic based on this video. 

When they’d first began dating was overtly critical of himself. He’d always make sure to handle himself cautiously around Darren.

Keep reading

Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Requester: Anonymous

Prompt: A story/imagine where the reader is working as an extra on set and has a crush on Bill but they’ve never interacted or had much to do with eachother until she accidentally messed up one of the scenes so they start arguing in private, she had a panic attack/asthma and he comforts her.

Warning: Panic Attack but fluff

Note: Bill Skarsgård is sexy. Enjoy! X3! 

Originally posted by billskarsgardsource

Originally posted by diablito666

Your heart was racing fast as you looked around the crowd of people as extras for the new IT movie. You liked to star in movies and plays as an extra character since being in front of so many people gave you stage fright.

Especially when you were nervous like today. You some how were able to get a role where you get to talk to Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Aka Bill Skarsgård, aka your crush you’ve had seen 2013.

You had a bad fangirl crush on him that kept getting worse as he starred in movies like Atomic Blonde, Simple Simon, Hemlock Grove, etc. You had fallen head over heels for him but you knew he’d never be able to even glance your direction but now you were going to meet him.

Well as Pennywise, but then he’s probably going to just walk away and take a 5 minute break afterwards. You were fidgeting uncontrollably looking this way and that but the director already told you he wasn’t going to show up until the scene.

“Awwww you looking for sempai?” Your friend Shelby teased nudging you.

She was also an extra but she was supposed to be in the way background unlike you. You wanted to but at the same time you didn’t want to switch roles with her.
You were so nervous your hands were shaking as you read the script trying to remember your lines that you highlighted with a fluorescent yellow marker.

You were simply supposed to walk down the street. Pennywise would come out and manhandle you to the wall and you would scream, “Get away from me! I don’t want to die!”

That’s it and then he bites down on your neck or something and then the scenes over. Simple. You should be able to remember that Right?

“Notice me Senpai.” Shelby whispered.

“Will you stop!” You growled.

Shelby simply laughed until the director called they were starting the scene in 5. You felt sick to your stomach and weak in the knees. This was a huge leap for you to become one of those people who just walk down the street minding their own business to suddenly becoming an actor with voice lines and everything.

“Dude are you freaking out?” Shelby asked.

“Of course i am! Im going to be attacked by my actor crush in a clown suit. If I screw this up I screw everything up! I won’t be an actor, I will humiliate myself, I will-”

Shelby tightly gripped your shoulders and shook, “Calm. Down. Drink some water and relax, everything’s gonna be fine.”

You nodded and took a long gulp only for bells to ring signalling it was time. You choked and accidentally splashed some water on the floor as you choked and coughed and hacked.

Eventually though you were able to fix yourself and the makeup department came over and dragged you to a chair to do final touches. You flipped your hood up for  the scene and stuffed your hands in your hoddie pockets pretending to listen to music.

The director called action and you tried to pretend to be laid back and chill looking down at the ground.

Keep your cool.

Keep your cool.

Keep your cool.

Keep reading

skin care tips

so i’ve gathered a lot of tips on skin care that i use as my lifeline. i thought i’d share them w y'all

- you’ve heard it ur entire life, but pls pls pls drink lots of water. not only is it good for ur body and health, it’s good for ur skin. the basic rundown is ur face has sebum, the substance that comes out of ur pores, and it can become thick and clog up pores if u do not drink enough water, therefore causing breakouts. people with acne naturally have thick sebum, which is why they tend to break out lots more than others

- try not to use hot water on ur face. use room temper, or colder water, when washing it. also: my great grandmother never had any wrinkles on her body or face when she passed. why? well one she always wore a hat and sunscreen when going out, and two instead of taking hot baths, she took cool ones

- e x f o li ate. u want that smooth and clean skin? thats the way to do it. dead skin can also clog up ur pores. honestly chemical exfoliaters work better than the natural ones, but u can use whatever u want. just use it at least once a week

- WEAR SUNSCREEN. WEAR IT DURING WINTER, AHEN ITS CLOUDY, WHEN THERES SO SUN. just bc u don’t see uv rays doesn’t mean they aren’t as strong.

- sun spots take a decade to show up. just bc u don’t get them automatically after a burn, doesn’t mean u don’t get them

- wash ur face every day and every
night. in the mornings u can even just use water and splash ur face w it and rub a little. just cleanse ur face or all the other things u do to ur face are useless

- don’t put lemon or sugar on ur face. ur face is delicate, and if ur putting citrus which has HIGH acids, ur harming it. sugar granuals are also really big and can cause micro cuts to appear on ur face and damage ur skin. don’t do it bro.

- don’t over due it. get a basic skin care routine and stick w it. u don’t need 20 things on ur face every day, it’ll just make ur skin worse

- use natural products! not only are they cheap, but they’re the best for ur skin!!! witch hazel is a BIG life saver for me, and it’s inexpensive.

- use oils to moisturize. i use argan oil at night, and u only need a few drops of it! u can find one for 10 dollars at walmart!

- spot treat w tea tree oil! just make sure u dilute it. tea tree oil can be too harsh on ur skin if u don’t dilute it, and it can cause ur skin to become worse if u don’t

- rose water is so so so good for ur skin. i don’t own any, but i know y'all all heard of the rose water spray

- mario badescu drying lotion, i’ve heard, works!!!

- remember to take care of ur neck and lips!!! do a scrub here and there for ur lips! i usually use brown sugar and honey

- speaking of honey, u can just slather some on ur face and after ur face will thank u. honey is natures antibiotic, and it never gets old! pls try to by organic honey tho!!

- do a face mask here and there. i use the aztec clay mask weekly, just to cleanse my skin, but do some sheet masks too! u can find good ones for cheap on amazon or ur local drugstore!!

- pls take off ur makeup before bed. if u wear a lot of face makeup, double cleanse. use an oil cleanser to break down ur make up, and then a water based one to cleanse it

- i don’t exactly like makeup wipes. they make u tug on ur skin and some of them are really harsh. if u like them, good for u!! but i myself don’t like them

- try to use a foaming cleanser!!! the oxygen produced in the foam is really good for ur skin!!!

- if u use castor soap on ur skin, i wouldn’t recommend using it day and night. i have normal-to-dry skin and because of the soap, my skin got REALLY dry and flakey. the soap is honestly really good, but it can strip the skin of its natural oils.

- speaking of, moisturize??? pls it you’ll skin will love you so much

- i eat terrible, but i’m going to be a hypocrite and say this anyways. try to eat at least mildly good!!!

- back to drinking water, try to get 8 glasses of water a day. it’s hard, and i still haven’t succeeded, but i try to have a schedule. especially during school. my schedule is:
1st cup: right when i wake up
2nd: eating breakfast
3rd: before i leave for school
i take a bottle of water w me for 1-4th period
i drink a small bottle for lunch
i buy a big bottle for 5-8th period
6th: when i get home
7th: when i eat dinner
8th: before bed
as i said, hasn’t succeeded with this schedule yet, but i’m still trying

- if u break out a lot, try taking lactose (milk products) out of ur diet and see if that works.

- try making detox drinks (putting cucumber in water is good for sad but sadly, i hate cucumber

- don’t touch or pick at ur face!!! the oils from ur hands can make ur face break out. and if i pick at ur face, even tho it’s tempting, it can make ur face break out a lot.

- chloe ( @mygsknees ) just told me that another thing that can make ppl break out is bread!!! some ppl have a mild gluten intolerance that can make them break out!!!

- don’t pull or tug at ur skin!!! you’ll create stress on ur skin and cause pre-mature aging!!! use small strokes with the tips of ur fingers and just light circle motions

- take care of ur neck!!! bring ur skin care down to it as well! also, rub upwards instead of pulling ur skin downwards

- when using serum, try to make sure ur pores are open (maybe but a warm towel over it). what i just do is just try to do it when my face is still wet. make sure u do it after toner tho.

uhh that’s it for now!! if i remember any later i’ll probably edit the post

impulse stick n poke checklist

random needle u found in a drawer

2 yr old india ink

towel u used to clean up coffee earlier

cup of water thats been on ur desk for 2 days

overwhelming self destructive tendencies accomponied by the lack of a will to live and the compulsive need to drastically change ur appearence in order to feel like ur at least mildly in control of ur life

a pen

ur all set!! have fun making questionable life choices

anonymous asked:

omg whats ur skincare routine u and ur sis have such flawless skin im jealous

wow thank u !!! idk what she uses we use diff products cus we hav diff skin types but i use

The Face Shop Rice Water Bright Cleansing Foam & Cleansing Oil (i rlly recommend doing both, double cleansing is fr life changing)

When I cleanse my face i use the ETEREAUTY Facial Brush

Lancôme Tonique Confort Comforting Rehydrating Toner (its expensive its really good especially cus i have dry skin but i wouldnt buy it again just cus of the price)

Neogen Dermalogy Bio-Peel Gauze Peeling Wine (this is rlly amazing for face exfoliating i rlly recommend it)

MISSHA Time Revolution The First Intensive Moist Treatment Essence

MISSHA Time Revolution Night Repair Borabit Ampoule

The Face Shop Arsainte Eco-Therapy Moisturizer

and as for face sheet masks it really depends i change them up alot but i have an absolute favorite which is the Tony Moly Pureness 100 Sheet Masks but they dont sell it on amazon anymore :/

theres so much beauty in life and i live w my heart wide open i want to feel and give all the love in the world and i’m so blessed to be alive and to be able to love lee jaehwan when i look at him my heart feels like its been dipped in warm water its warm and heavy and full i love it  and also! do you know that feeling when youre sitting with your eyes closed in the sun and your whole body is warm and the entire world is yellow and orange behind ur eyelids thats what it feels like to see him 

anonymous asked:

hi kura^^ can i ask you to recommend your favorite soft seungkwan fics? I just rly need my soft angel rn, the sweetest baby boy i lov him so so so much))):

omg this took so long i have no excuses for this great desertion :(( !! im sorry baby i hope tht ur happy n healthy n doing good!! i got u tho, i have spent the last century scouring tumblr for seungkwan fics. i g o t you.

cheer up & at the rink by @choco-seventeen 

as always, choco, master of all, has made boo stans happy w these lil works of heaven. i read cheer up when im sad (even tho seungkwan’s the one needing cheering up in this scenario !!) n at the rink makes me so soft im on a kitten’s level. love these fics. they deserve love.

a pair of mittens by @svt-husbands 

short, sweet, soft n sassy. the 4 “s”s of boo seungkwan’s existence. a cute lil scenario tht makes me smile !!!

this little seungkwan soulmate au by @saythename17scenarios

i could read everything kimbap made 330k times over because they’re that cute n sweet n funny !!! so rlly i’d rec any bsk works of hers for u to read bc she’s a trusted boo stan in the Seungkwan Support Squad community.

this lil (100% accurate) flower by @17mounteens

this is it u guys. this is how seungkwan will meet the love of his life. it’s so lovely 2 read n they describe it very well n i come back to read this v often !! i hope it makes u soft !! a good fic for a good boy.

here u go my friend, i hope u enjoy reading these (if u already haven’t) & once again i hope ur doing well !! eat good food, drink water (water. it’s important to stay hydrated.), n remember tht self care is important !! i love u !!!

i just remembered the time that i was showering while my cousin was using the bathroom and i asked her not to flush the toilet until i was done bc it would make the water hot. she was like “oh thats just old houses!” and flushed the toilet, and the shower water was immediately scalding fucking hot and i was standing right in it

i literally screamed “HOLY SHIT” and like THREW myself out of the tub and was like “WHY THE HELL DID U DO THAT?” and my uncle came upstairs and asked what happened n i explained it and he was like “well ok, but anya, we heard u curse!” 

i was so mad i was like THERE WAS JUST AN ATTEMPT MADE ON MY LIFE AND UR WORRIED ABOUT ME CURSING?? THAT WATER WAS BOILING HOT

So im back from this HELL OF A MOVIE

HOLY SHIT

I feel pumped i feel justified I feel so much FEELS

50/10 WOULD RECOMMEND

Listen to me Rian J is an absolute fricling beast. Adam and Daisy blew me out of the fucking water. The plot….GoshDAmnit Mark and Carrie currently have my heart ripped in half and ICANTEVEN

25 YEARS WERE ADDED TO MY LIFE FROM WATCHING THIS. This movie has all the supplements u need. All ur Vitamins… all your expectations (well for you Reylos 😉)

I NEED TO DO MY REVISION FOR FINALS BUT I CANT NOW. My life was just ruined in the most beautiful, emotional way possible and its all The Last Jedi’s fault.