water cooler gossip

seventeen ✗ the office quotes

✎ so i just randomly thought of this and bc it’s my favourite show i though eh why not.


seungcheol: “i feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. it’s every parents dream.”

jeonghan: “occasionally i’ll hit somebody with my car. so sue me.”

joshua: “i signed up for second life [ a computer game ] about a year ago. back then my life was so great that i literally wanted a second one. absolutely everything was the same… except i could fly.”

jun: “wikipedia is the best thing ever. anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. so you know you are getting the best information possible.”

hoshi: “sometimes i start a sentence and i don’t even know where it’s going. i just hope i find it along the way.”

wonwoo: “i love catching people in the act. that’s why i always whip open doors.”

woozi: “i don’t hate it. i just don’t like it at all, and it’s terrible.”

seokmin: “would i rather be feared or loved? easy. both. i want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

mingyu: “when i discovered youtube, i didn’t work for five days.”

minghao: “people say, oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the work place. well i say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.”

vernon: “society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. well, that’s baloney, there’s such a thing as good grief. just ask charlie brown.”

seungkwan:  “it’s a real shame because studies have shown more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. which puts me at a disadvantage because i bring my own bottle to work.”

chan: “nothing stresses me out. except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.”


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ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E5: The Jersey Devil

<< 1.4 Conduit —————————————- 1.6 Shadows >>

I was feeling snarky so decided to unwind with another of my very serious and scholarly X-Files recaps. The Jersey Devil is one of my more favourite S1 episodes because of the number of ridiculous things that happen…but how did it stand up to my vague attempts to quantify my love of this show rigorous scoring rubric? Find out under the cut with gifs and random unconnected observations galore…

Laugh now Scully… while you can…

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Cut the Check!

Author: underthesebb
Pairing: reader x Sebastian Stan
Word Count: 1,356
Rating: PG-13
Warning: None, just a whole lot of set up.
Request: I got a request to do a prompt about the reader being in the Civil War movie and going on the press tour, so before I do any of those, I wanted to kind of set up the dynamic the reader’s character would bring to Civil War as I imagined her…because I’m weird and overthink things.  Anyway, enjoy! 

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anonymous asked:

you can't have worked in an office for long if you think it's all slacking off and water cooler gossip. come crunch time, everyone puts in long hours and gives 110% to make sure a major project ships on time or everything is wrapped up by the end of the quarter. white collar workers are paid more than fast food workers because when it really counts, they EARN their pay

Right.

And unlike you, minimum wage earners are expected to earn their pay all the time. Every minute of every day. They go through “crunch time” multiple times a day, every day, but there’s no slack time. If there’s a big enough lull that lasts long enough to make a difference, people start getting sent home. 

So once a quarter, you have to stop acting like a work is just a favor you do while your paycheck is something you’re owed? Good for you! If you think that arrangement is anything other than a giant perk in your favor, though, you are one of the most spoiled brats in the world.

okay but how did nate get a real man job like

who were his references

what did his resume say

“well traveled”???

did he go back to school part time to get a degree

is it in history

did he apply with his birth name or drake

please

god

i need to know

The skirt is short on purpose.”

Felicity isn’t stupid. She knows that a lot of people have a lot to say about her becoming the CEO of Palmer Technology. Just like they had a lot to say about her career change from tech worker to assistant to the CEO. People talk, and when it comes to women, that talk is often derogatory and sexist. But she’s an MIT graduate who balances being CEO and partner to the city’s own vigilante. She coordinates a team of superheroes in keeping their city safe while also managing a multi-billion dollar company. So yeah, stupid is not an adjective that should ever be applied to her. 

When she walks into the meeting, she’s confident. Her chin is high, her smile is bright, and she doesn’t let the critical eye of those around her sway her in the least. 

John is standing against the wall, arms crossed, one hand gripping the opposite wrist. He’s stoic, serious, intimidating. She winks at him, and his mouth ticks faintly. But he keeps his mask on, staring forward, eyes open for any sign of a problem. She’s pretty sure they’re not going to be infiltrated by some fringe radical group with machine guns (again), but who knows. Either way, she feels safer having her friend there, and he feels safer being there.

So, she moves to the head of the table, tablet in hand and assistant following at her heels. Marissa is smart; top of her class, qualified, informed about tech and happy to do whatever her job entails. Unlike Felicity, Marissa likes her position as assistant, she wears it as a point of pride. She’s also protective of her boss and, whether Marissa knows it or not, Felicity is aware of how she tries to subtly kick misogyny’s ass by standing up for her boss whenever anybody tries to criticize Felicity or how she got her job. 

It’s a well known fact that she is dating Oliver Queen, former CEO of Queen Consolidated, and that she briefly had something with the former CEO of Palmer Tech. That has no bearing on her position, not really. Maybe she didn’t climb the ladder the same way others have before her, but she still earned it, and not in the way far too many people think she did.

The meeting goes well. Marissa takes notes, but so does Felicity. She likes to keep track of things that jump out to her, that she wants to keep an eye on, that she knows will become important later, down the line. She listens to her employees concerns, adds her two cents, and feels good when everything is wrapped up without a problem. She plans to return to her office and do a little digging around for her after-hours job; it’s been gnawing at her since she woke up. But she’s going to save it for her lunch break instead. There are still some business related things she needs to deal with first.

She gathers her things up slowly, letting the room empty out before her, people chit-chatting about the meeting and lunch plans and not-so-subtly casting curious, critical eyes in her direction. 

Marissa is already on her way back to the office; she’s sent Felicity the notes she took on her tablet and she’ll spend some time going over the day’s itinerary and sit down with Felicity when she returns to her desk. Marissa is proactive; she knows her job and she rarely has to ask for tips on how to do it. Felicity reminds herself to have a thank you gift sent to her desk; maybe a fruit basket, or cheese. People like cheese, right? Or maybe she’s lactose intolerant… She can’t remember if Marissa takes cream in her coffee. 

John’s shadow falls across the table in front of her.

“What do you think about cheese baskets?” she blurts out.

John blinks at her. “I think that’s a lot of cheese for just one person…” 

“Hmm… That’s true. Maybe fruit then. Or, ooh, chocolate. Everybody loves chocolate.” She nods, and then picks up the last of things. “Well, I think that went well, what about you?”

He hums, but there’s a look on his face, pensive where it shouldn’t be. 

Felicity smiles knowingly. “Let me guess, the water cooler is rife with gossip…” 

“Can’t say I spend too much time around it, but I know the worker bees are talking…” A muscle ticks in his cheek.

Felicity shakes her head, her ponytail bouncing. “It’s fine. Really,” she insists at his unconvinced frown. “They’ll talk. It’s what they do. They’ll come up with theories and reasons and whatever. All I can do is prove them wrong by doing my job.” She pushes her chair in against the table and starts toward the door. “I’m not going to change just because they can’t see that I’m fully capable of doing this job. Maybe I wasn’t sure before, but I am now. It’s hard, and it takes a lot of time and energy and a certain level of balance that I really wasn’t sure I could manage, but I was wrong. I can do this. And nothing they say or think will change my mind.” 

He nods, mouth turning up faintly then. 

“People are always going to talk, John. Let them.” 

“It’s not the talking that bothers me, it’s that they’re wrong.”

“I know what they’re saying. That I got this job on my my knees, or my back, or whatever.” She rolls her eyes and snorts. Typical. “You see this?” She points down at her outfit. “This skirt is short on purpose.” 

He stares at her a moment, his brow furrowed, and then his expression clears, and for the first time that day she sees a real, broad, proud grin. Because maybe Felicity won’t say it out loud, maybe she won’t lash out at every person who snickers behind her back or insists that she isn’t cut out for the position she’s earned, but she’ll stay strong. 

Felicity Smoak is an intelligent, accomplished, incredibly busy person. She’s the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, the tech guru of a vigilante hero group, and she wears short skirts. Because the length of said skirt has no bearing on her capabilities. And because fuck you, that’s why. 

One of my all-time favourite dreams was of being a stereotypical white collar office worker standing around a literal water cooler with coworkers gossipping about some upper management dude’s rapid upward mobility. (This sounds like a horrible dream but bear with me.)

One guy, unimpressed, said, “Oh come on, [name] puts his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us.”

Upper management guy happened to be walking by at that exact moment. He stopped, barely suppressing laughter; raised a fist in the air; and said, “BULLSHIT, I SPRING FULLY-CLOTHED FROM THE FOREHEAD OF THE MORNING!” –then continued on his way.

To date it’s the only time I’ve laughed myself awake.