watching this movie while actually dating someone is a hundred times worse

Home Alone Tonight

Summary: Your relationship failed. So did his. Sometimes all you can do about it is drink.

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1963

Warnings: Swearing. Drinking. I think that’s it…

A/N: So this is def not the best thing I’ve written, but I’ve had an idea to do a fic like this for a while, so I’m just throwing it out there. While writing it, I got the idea of potentially expanding on this, and doing a series with each installment loosely based on a different country song. (This one was inspired by Home Alone Tonight by Luke Bryan (ft. Karen Fairchild), hence the title. Give it a listen to HERE if you’ve never heard it!) If this is something you’d be interested in reading, let me know–I already have a playlist of songs I’m considering, and I have the epilogue written, since I’m a loser lol. (If not, I’d probs just post the epilogue as a one-shot, and maybe post the playlist too, idk.)

(Also, yes, I did include a dumb jab at my other fic What Happens in Vegas, haha! Sue me. 😉)

Loose follow-up: From the Ground Up

________________________

The bar was empty when you got there. It always was.

On days like these you were always the first one there, when it was socially inappropriate to be out drinking, and always the last one to leave, when it was socially inappropriate to be out at all. But on days like these you needed to think. You needed to mope. And most importantly, you needed to drink; social etiquette be damned.

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Follower Count

“Hiya, babes! It’s Laura!”

“Hello! It’s Laura! We hit a thousand, babes! We did it!

Laura was just another small time girl trying to hit it big with YouTube. There was hundreds of Youtubers like her out there. They put on makeup. They play video games. They review movies. They vlog about their day. They try weird products and make comedy shorts.

I found Laura on a late night. She’d made a comedy short with Katherine Short, a YouTuber I had followed for a few years. Laura caught my attention with her low voice, sweet smile, and odd eyes- she had heterochromia. One eye was dark brown, like her hair. The other was like a husky dog’s. Piercing blue.

Laura was new, she barely had a hundred followers when I first clicked subscribe. After that collaboration with Katherine, you could see her confidence soar. I had fun with her wit and hey, if someone’s entertaining, I’m gonna hit that magic red button.

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Torn – Part 7

Previous Part // Next Part // All Parts

A/N: This is terribly long, but I wanted to have everything about this event in one ALSO the name Jonghyun is NOT referring to an idol, I just used it as it is a common korean name (just picture a freaking douche okay? okay.)

Summary: After your breakup with Seokwoo, you get the help of Taeyang to forget about him. The feelings are still there though, making you torn between a sweet ex and a passionate boyfriend.

 Word count: 2,7k

(cr. kingrowoon)

Two Hours Away

The coffee shop was always as good as empty nearing closing hours. Those were the times when you found yourself a chair and sat down reading behind the counter. It was strange not having even one shift with Y/F/N this week, but then again, it would be worse if she was here. You hadn’t spoken to her since the conversation last Wednesday, nor Seokwoo. Instead, you spent time with Taeyang whenever both of you were off work, as neither were planning to go away this break. It was the first of three weeks of the school holiday, Thursday, and you were excited to have the weekend off.

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anonymous asked:

Lenimly

whoops sorry this took me a while to finish up, I had it waiting to be posted for ages but I got distracted by symmrat week…

  • who hogs the duvet

The problem for these two isn’t so much than anyone hogs the duvet so much as the fact Lena is, apparently, completely incapable of being still even while she is fast asleep and will relentlessly kick the duvet off at approximately 2:30 every. single. morning. And Lena isn’t thrilled about it to begin with, she always wakes up cold, but Emily is really not impressed with this.  Darn it Lena, she just wants to get cozy and have a solid eight hours of warm, uninterrupted sleep, dammit. If Emily wakes up in the middle of the night freezing cold though and has to climb out of bed to get the duvet, you better bet your ass that she will pettily cocoon herself in them and fall back to sleep and let Lena go get another blanket from the hall closet.

(This problem is eventually resolved (somewhat) when Emily starts keeping a second quilt folded underneath the bed within easy grabbing distance.)

  • who texts/rings to check how their day is going

They both text each other back and forth throughout the day, and the one who does it more really depends on what’s going on in their lives at the moment.  If it’s just a lazy, run-of-the-mill day and Emily’s at work and Lena’s bored then Lena’s going to text the most.  Emily’s phone is a constant hum of incoming texts and snaps and messages from Lena, just little things like jokes and selfies and stories about silly things that happened while Lena’s in town, things that Emily can look at and smile at on her break.  It’s fun for both of them, though Emily’s coworkers will rib her about it.

However when it’s Lena at work?  When she’s been called off on a mission or is back at the Watchpoint or worse on the news then it’s Emily texting her.  And Emily tries her best to keep the texts very casual, sort of a “ha ha just thought of you babe how you doing :) please don’t be dead”. Emily figures Lena’s job is hard enough without having a frantic girlfriend, and Emily knew what she was getting into when she started dating Lena (even though Overwatch had been disbanded at that point, the worst thing she was supposed to have to deal with was Lena’s pigheaded, vigilant heroics, not organized, international military ops, damn it, damn it) and Emily refuses to be one of those simpering “hero girlfriends” that you see in movies.  …Some days are just harder than others.  Lena understands though, and makes sure to respond to ever text she gets from Emily on days like that with selfies that show she’s okay, and lots of love and sweetness.

  • who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

Obviously Lena is the sort of person who puts off gift buying until literally the day of any given event, so her ability to choose good gifts (and she is fantastic at choosing good gifts, she loves finding the perfect thing for her friends and girlfriend) is slightly tempered by her inability to then get it in time.  She has absolutely, shame-faced, given IOUs as gifts, but she always delivers in the end.  (Emily is always enormously touched and more than used to her rather scatter-brained girlfriend.)

  • who gets up first in the morning

It’s often Emily on the pure technicality that she has a job that demands she be up and at work at a reasonable hour in the morning.  Still, they’re reluctant, groggy mornings with a lot of tea and as little breakfast as she can get away with while still surviving until lunch – whatever involves the least amount of effort until she wakes up properly, which usually takes about an hour.

On a weekend, when Emily doesn’t have to be at work, Lena is the one who wakes up earliest naturally.  Lena is able to sleep in until approximately 9:00 AM and by then her internal clock dings and up she goes.  She’s the sort of person that wakes up itching to go and do things.  As far as Emily’s concerned, this is a hundred times weirder than any time displacement or talking gorillas, especially after Lena informed her that, no, this is not a side effect of the chronal accelerator, she’s always been like this.  Still, Emily definitely profits on weekends because Lena likes to make a proper fry up for breakfast so Emily normally shuffles out of the bedroom to the smells of sausages and eggs and grilled tomatos and toast and…  

  • who suggests new things in bed

Both are pretty open to a bit of experimentation here and there.  Emily’s the one that comes to Lena in the middle of the afternoon and brings up this possibility she came across and looked into and worked out the logistics for and definitely thinks could be really enjoyable for both of them, what do you think?  (Lena still can’t figure out if Emily does this because she thinks it’s important to talk about those things outside the bedroom when everyone’s thinking clearly, or because she knows how much it ruins Lena for the rest of the day.  …Going by the smirk, Lena’s willing to bet on the latter.)

Lena, on the hand, is the one that barges in and is like “OKAY MCCREE WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS THING AND I DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT’S POSSIBLE BUT WE’VE DEFINITELY GOT TO GIVE IT A TRY

  • who cries at movies

Lena.  She is a Mess.  She will cry at the drop of a hat, even over things that really she has no business crying over.  Emily is forever amused, sitting there watching some silly romcom and then having Lena very quietly bursting into tears while pretending she’s not doing just that.  Like… babe… you know they’re going to reconcile by the end of the movie…  and yeah, of course Lena knows that but right now it’s just so sad ;-;

Plus if something even remotely sad happening in a kids movie she is done. There’s something about having sweet animated characters that are made to be happy and fun and seeing them in pain that just kills Lena.  She would have been destroyed if she’d been around to see Up when it was new.

  • who gives unprompted massages

Emily, and Lena just completely melts every time.  The first time Emily gave Lena a massage was a couple months after they started dating.  They were lying in Emily’s bed and Lena looked exhausted, so Emily nudged her onto her stomach and started giving her a message… it was supposed of a playful, teasing thing to lead into something More but holy jeez you’re really tense???  Like you know the blissful relief of taking your bra off at the end of the day? Now imagine how it must feel to take off the chronal accelerator. Lena’s shoulders are permanently sore because of that thing, even with the great harness she and Winston designed.  So Emily will often give Lena a massage at the end of a long day and it just about makes Lena purr every time.

  • who fusses over the other when they’re sick

Emily’s the one who fusses and honestly it sort of throws her off because she’s normally not the sort to fuss – she’s pretty laid back most of the time (and honestly, if you want to date someone with Lena’s sort of lifestyle, a laid back attitude is very much advisable…).  Normally it’s fine – yup, she’ll make sure you have a full glass a water by the bed, pick up medication on the way home from work, make some soup and toast, and that sort of stuff, but with Lena a little part of her can’t help but worry more than usual.  Because… well, what if something goes wrong.  Most of the time she trusts Lena to know what she’s doing with the whole time disassociation thing but when Lena gets sick… well, a part of her can’t help but get hung up on the whole thing and start to worry. Even though she knows chronal disassociation has nothing to do with the sniffles she also wasn’t around when Lena disappeared the first time and has no real idea what it looks like or what would happen or what she could do. So yeah, as long as Lena’s sick, Emily fusses while trying to pretend to both herself and Lena that she is absolutely not fussing.

(On the other hand, when Emily is sick Lena sees her primary job as being to cheer her up and keep her company.  Which inevitably means that if Emily is sick, Lena will be as well soon after.)

  • who gets jealous easiest

Emily gets jealous.  Again, like “fussing” this is something she’s not really used to.  She’s normally pretty confident in any relationship she’s in, and it’s not that she isn’t confident in this relationship with Lena, or that she thinks Lena would cheat (she doesn’t) but sometimes when she hears about all the amazing things Lena’s done, and the exceptional people she’s met, Emily can help but wonder how in the world she measures up in comparison.  A part of her can’t stop thinking about the girlfriends of superheroes in comics and movies (she’s definitely a comic book nerd, okay) and how they’re so… disposable.  They’re only there when it’s plot relevant and can get killed off without the slightest inconvenience and most of the time people are more interested in the other superheroes more than The Girlfriend.   She knows it’s a silly fear and that Lena doesn’t think that way at all – that this is real life, not a comic, and the two of them have a life together – but she can’t help it all the same.  So when she sees Lena hanging around other girls that are clearly Interested, she might be a little territorial, but nothing more than just hanging around Lena or keeping a hand in hers or on her arm or something, just something to say this one is mine, back off, but she gets more nervous when she sees Lena hanging out with other old Overwatch members, people she has history with and who are equally “super”…  (It gets a little better when she starts making friends with Lena’s friends and really gets to know the other Overwatch members.)

  • who has the most embarrassing taste in music

We’ve all seen Lena’s punk skins, right?  Lena went through a hardcore punk phase and never quite grew out of it and her music choices reflect that.  Emily puts up with it with the best grace she possibly can.  (I imagine Emily being into chiller music, like soft background music and instrumental stuff and classical, that she just plays constantly through the apartment.)  Honestly, I’m not sure if the music Lena listens to is as embarrassing as her determination to dress appropriately every time she goes to a concert – those punk clothes definitely still make appearances from time to time.

I also think Lena has a pretty wild running playlist.  Like you know how most people end up sort of pacing themselves to the music they listen to?  You’ll find yourself running faster to fast music and slowing down if a slower song comes on?  So just imagine the nonsense Lena likes to listen to when she’s working out, it’s like… aggressively fast tempo’d and perky.  (I can see her and Zarya having an on-going feud over who gets to pick the music while they’re both in the gym, so it ends up being this weird mix of Zarya’s loud, bassy Russian metal or something, and then Lena’s music which, according to Zarya, sounds like hamsters on crack.)

  • who collects something unusual

Did you see the inside of their apartment?  That’s minimalist af.  Lena’s been in the RAF and then Overwatch since she was pretty young, and then has more or less been on the go since Overwatch’s disbandment, so she never really acquired a taste for collecting.  If it doesn’t fit into a footlocker or a backpack, what’s she going to do with it, really?  Barracks only have so much space, and if she’s buying something more finnicky than that, it’s something to go in the communal areas or something.  I’d say the closest she comes to collecting is an impressive digital library of truly awful movies, but even then she definitely prefers digital over physical collecting because digital can be carried on the go.

As for Emily, she seems to prefer things neat and tidy and stream line so she doesn’t really have any strange collections either.  She has a much more impressive wardrobe than Lena does, but again that’s not really unusual.  (Unless you ask Lena, who is of the mind that you need one good, functional and comfy pair of shoes and should be good with that and can’t quite wrap her head around how many Emily has. Emily can’t wrap her mind around how Lena has one pair of functional shoes and they’re crocs monstrosities.)

  • who takes the longest to get ready

Absolutely Emily.  Lena is constantly Ready To Go.  I mean… the fact that she can blink her way through her morning routine probably helps too, but still, Lena seems like the sort of person who’s constantly ready to bound off from Activity A to Activity B with no transition in between.  Emily, on the other hand, needs the time to get an outfit together, put on her make-up, fix her hair…  Lena has spent a lot of time loafing around their living room moaning theatrically while Emily reminds her girlfriend exactly how much she likes the results of all Emily’s hard work, thank you very much. (You can’t enthusiastically mess up make-up with kissing and cuddling unless it was put on first.)

  • who is the most tidy and organised

Emily wins that one.  Lena’s probably pretty good, again just from ingrained military habit, but now that she’s been out on her own for a number of years and has her own space those old habits have begun to backslide a bit.  Especially since Lena tends to be trying to do a dozen things at once and has a tendency to forget little things like putting her dishes away or cleaning up that project before starting another or taking off her muddy shoes before blinking through the apartment.

Emily is the one who likes to keep the apartment spick and span.

  • who gets most excited about the holidays

Lena is so fucking here for the holidays.  Themed parties!  Gift giving!  Television specials! Costumes!  Cheer!  Not to say Emily doesn’t also love the holidays, she really really does, Lena just tends to show her enthusiasm in a similar way to your average six-year-old.

Emily’s enthusiasm tends towards the slightly calmer variety but it’s definitely still there – she’s the one who suggests they walk in the snow to look at Christmas lights and who makes them hot chocolate with marshmellows and who is, yes, even willing to wear a matching elf outfit with Lena to the Overwatch Christmas party because she loves her nerdy girlfriend.

  • who is the big spoon/little spoon

Lena’s tiny, she’s like 5'4” or something, so Emily gets to be the big spoon more often than not. Even when they’re not in bed, Emily loves to come up behind Lena and tuck Lena’s head under her chin and just enjoy the pleasure of cuddling her short girlfriend.  And Lena is definitely not arguing! You don’t know pure bliss until you’re lying around on the couch and your girlfriend comes home from work and wiggles herself behind you just so that you can lie curled up in her arms.  Plus, both of these girls are from England, land of perpetual rain, so they both enjoy cuddling and sharing some body heat and cold, wet days.

Lena will shamelessly go big spoon though if she’s trying to keep Emily in bed; she’ll wrap herself to Emily like a monkey and cling until both her and Emily end up tumbling out of the bed onto the floor.

  • who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

…Take a guess.  Lena has literally no chill when it comes to anything that even whiffs of competition. Sports, video games, board games, Lena is going for the gold.  

  • who starts the most arguments

I honestly hate this question a little because like… as a general rule it’s gonna take two people to argue, and even if one “starts” the argument it’s probably because there was something being done that needs to be addressed. Either way, I think Emily “starts” the most arguments simply because I can see Lena as someone who tries to avoid those sorts of confrontations.  She’d much rather ignore an issue and try to dance around it.  Emily’s the one who finally forces them both to acknowledge issues there might be, and it might explode into a fight but as a general rule it’s ultimately for the best because it actually ends with them having a discussion about whatever the issue is and resolving it.

  • who suggests that they buy a pet

Emily brings it up, actually.  She’d like a companion in the apartment, someone to welcome them home, to cuddle with, to keep Lena company while Emily’s at work and keep Emily sane while Lena’s off risking life and limb.  Plus it sort of… feels like a good next step for them.  To have a life to take care of, together.  They haven’t committed yet, because both of them are serious about it and with Overwatch just starting up again it seems a unstable, but they’re definitely talking about it and looking at breeds and adoption centres and stuff.  (There’s also the little fact that Lena wants a dog and Emily wants a cat.  Don’t worry, they’ll figure something out.)

  • what tv shows they watch together

They’re the sort to have one intense, dramatic show on the go.  What the 2070’s equivalent of Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad or whatever is.  They lose their shit over each new episode release, they laugh, they cry, on occasion one or both may scream and leave the room.  You don’t mess with Their Show. Lena has definitely woken Emily up in the middle of the night because she just had this amazing idea and what if this is the next big plot twist??? and Emily can’t even be mad because that is literally genius and do you think the creators are that smart and now it’s one in the morning and they’re both scouring the internet to see if anyone else has had that theory yet.  On the other hand, they also keep pretty sporadic schedules so it’s not unusual for Lena to get a string of texts like

lena
lena
darling
you know I love you
but if you don’t stop saving the day and come home soon so help me god i am WATCHING this next episode because it came out yesterday and I NEED to know what happens to Alex

followed by Lena’s: don’t you DARE

  • what other couple they hang out with

I am 100%  fan of Lena casually introducing Emily to all of her Overwatch buddies and Emily being Very Chill about meeting all these weird, quirky heroes, so I suppose they’d hang out with any of the ships you have there.  I absolutely love the idea of those two going on double dates with Genji and Zenyatta or Fareeha and Angela.

  • how they spend time together as a couple

In a weird way one of the things I can see them doing together is exercising?  Which is a little hilarious because obviously there’s Lena who is the embodiment of that one spongebob quote “wanna see me run to that mountain and back? …wanna see me do it again?” or like… when Captain America keeps lapping Sam.  Still, I can see Lena slowing her pace down and jogging along side Emily when she goes out for a run, or joining her in the gym when she’s working on upper body stuff and things like that. Obviously Emily’s just doing it to stay fit, this isn’t like the sort of workouts Lena did when she was still with Overwatch and trying to stay military fit, but Lena still likes going to keep in practice. After all, you never know…

(Also then imagine, post-Recall, Lena invites Emily to come work out in the Overwatch gym with her because they have great facilities that Emily will love. So there’s like… Lena there running like sonic the fucking hedgehog, then Zarya in a corner lifting a million pounds like it’s nothing, and maybe Winston’s finally been talked into working out a bit by Athena so he’s there with all his gorilla strength, you could have Genji and/or Hanzo, trained ninja assassins from birth, or Fareeha who’s built like a brick wall, and then, in the middle of it all, Emily with her headphones in, exercise music on, resolutely working out with a jump rope and enjoying every minute of it.)

But I mean besides that they do… normal couple things together?  They share an apartment so a lot of it is just normal every day life things.  Sharing chores and cooking, sleeping together and cuddling on the couch, fighting over the tv and going shopping.  They probably go out on dates a whole bunch, like they try to have a weekly date night sort of thing.  Sometimes it’s just staying home with chinese food and a movie, but they’ll also go out to restaurants or to the theatres or try some sort of couples activity, that sort of thing.

  • who made the first move

My favourite headcanon was that it was… kind of both of them?  I can see Lena being a bit of playful flirt when she’s at the pub, so she was talking up this one really pretty red head who seemed sweet and funny and really smart.  Things are going great, only for Lena to realize a bit belatedly that this girl has no idea who she is. And it kind of throws Lena off a bit.  She’s very used to being Tracer From Overwatch, very recognizable …and let’s be honest being a bit of a hero definitely helps when it comes to picking up cute girls.  But… well, Overwatch isn’t the hero anymore, is it?  Saying you’re a disgraced member of a corrupt military organization that was forcefully disbanded by the UN is… not really a good ice breaker. And suddenly Lena’s having all these doubts and Emily’s not really sure what’s up with the girl that started flirting with her – is she getting cold feet? did Emily say something wrong? – but so far she’s really likes this girl and would like to see her again so Emily pushes through Lena’s sudden hesitation and secures a date for them.

It takes a little while before Lena admits to being Tracer (and Emily just kinda stares out into space like… wow I’m a fucking idiot I saw you on posters… though to be fair you don’t really expect to see someone like that in your local pub).

So Lena was the one who made the very first move, but it was thanks to Emily that more came of it.

  • who brings flowers home

Both of them!  For birthdays or anniversaries or just “hey it’s a beautiful spring day and I was thinking of you” gifts, each will randomly bring home bouquets to put in the kitchen or on the window sills.  They tried to do live flowers once (Emily thought it’d be great to try to grow a little herb garden in the kitchen window) but they both quickly learn that they suck at keeping plants alive.  Lena has a tendency to remember them rather sporadically (well I remembered in my timeline, is her go to excuse but they both know she just completely forgot) and will let them go dry for days then drown them in a desperate attempt to overcompensate, and Emily works weird hours all over the place and has as tendency to just want to crash and go to sleep when she gets home so yeah.  Live plants aren’t ideal.  Emily’s been talking about them getting some little succulents though on the grounds that even they shouldn’t be able to kill those, but Lena is a little reluctant because she knows if Jesse comes over and sees them with a cactus he will never let Lena hear the end of it.

  • who is the best cook

Emily… though honestly I imagine both of them turn to takeout more often than either would like to admit. As far as cooking goes, Lena’s specialty tends to lean a bit more towards the chocolate-covered or slathered-in-oil variety foods (she is a very big fan of pub food) and while it’s tasty Emily continues to insist it’s not sustainable.  (“Psssh” responds Tracer,, “hasn’t killed me yet, right?”).  Emily is much better at cooking meals that involve actual vegetables but she also hates cooking with a fiery passion.  When they do cook, it’s often either easy things like fried vegetables on rice or Emily’s speciality: a huge vat of soup that can then be stored and brought out later for like a month’s worth of lunches.

Lena, however, absolutely does breakfast.  She does the best breakfasts.

anonymous asked:

Could you do a scenario based on the song all night long by Beyoncé about any member really

If no one has answered you yet about which member to do the all night long by Beyoncé scenario about ill suggest yoongi, but if someone already has no worries! ^_^

Well I suck at angst but this turned out angsty so I hope it doesn’t suck~ Also, the song isn’t available on youtube, so I ended up listening to this cover, which is actually really great imo

Originally posted by yoonkooks

Title: All Night
Genre: Angst with Fluff ending
Members: Yoongi (ft. Jimin)
Words: 2804 

You knew he loved you. He had to. He didn’t say it often, but that didn’t mean that he loved you any less. When he did say it, he meant it, and the passion in his voice was enough to let you know that. And you knew he wouldn’t cheat. It had started off as a joke - he hardly had enough time for you, how would he have enough time to date someone else on the side? - but there was a truth to it, one that you relied on when he he came home at odd times, or maybe didn’t come home at all. But then he started lying to you.

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anonymous asked:

prompt: sara and len dated but break up and still like each other but don't admit it (and they work together) can be an au or not, your choice. i love you fanfics!

This is pure flangst, and full of tropes. Featuring drunk!Sara, injured!Sara, snarky!len, bumbling precious cinnamon roll Ray and good old Mick. Enjoy :D


“You don’t have to say anything else, buddy. I’m going to hug you now.” That’s his boss Raymond’s reaction when he casually mentions he and Sara broke up.

“I’m going to shoot you now,” Leonard warns, annoyed.

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The future has romance movies.

The future has romance movies and some of them are funny (”Rom Coms” Sam explains with an expression somewhere between exasperated and annoyed.) but some of them are not.

The future has romance movies and every. single. one of them has some man and woman kissing, some great misunderstanding, some hurtful longing, some sun soaked scene, a reuniting or the big forgiveness. 

The big forgiveness for death. 

The healing, the grieving, the moving on.

Natasha sorts them yes and no, Yes to Pretty Woman and No to Bridges of Madison County. Yes to You’ve Got Mail and No to The Vow.

Steve watches them all anyway. Watches any one he can find the same way the sick will listen to stories of people who got better and people who got worse. 

Every one of them leaves a sickening bruise in the middle of him. 

A dance he never got to, a hand he couldn’t reach.

Ibid. 

And yet, none of them look like him.

The pining, the absolute, heart in your throat, can’t breath pining all while knowing it was wrong and dirty and saying a word would ruin you. Ruin everything for you.

Worse than Romeo and Juliet, he thought once, a million years ago, as a lonely man in shirtsleeves leaning over the railing of the fire escape in their coldwater walk up watching the sunset between the buildings, watching the dusk guide Bucky home from the docks. 

Pretending he didn’t want to see length of Bucky’s legs, his one hand in his pocket, the swing of his shoulders and hips, the dirt on his face after a long day. Pretending it didn’t hurt in the exact way love is not supposed to. Pretending he wasn’t watching his world collapse he loved that silly boy so much.

Yeah, a little part of him is bitter for drawing that particular hand. For a dance with Peggy that never came and never having the opportunity with Buck and all these couples on the silver screen acting like their love hurts worst of all. 

He doesn’t watch the ones that take place in WWII.

A heart can only hold so much.

“Don’t watch the queer ones, they’re worse than the straight ones,” Clint says after flipping through Steve’s netflix cue. Natasha hits him on the arm. “What? Oh, sorry, I mean the LGBT ones.” He rolls his eyes and Natasha hits him again. 

Steve watches Were the World Mine and tries not to cry.

(He does but then never admits that Captain America lost that particular battle.)

And it’s Tony - Tony - of all people who brings it to the light. Smugly after an easy, but stupid battle, as the shit hits the news and action shots taken on cellphones go live on the web and cable news, Tony sits back and says, “You know they write stories about us?”

It’s like everyone else knows a train wreck is about to happen but no one is willing to stop it, too much fun to watch. Or maybe it’s just something about the future they’ve decided to stop hiding from Steve and Tony is the best at being blunt.

“All kinds,” Tony continues with a salacious smirk. Then winks. The bastard. “They even have names for relationship pairs they think would be cute, or hot together. They call us Stony,” he says and Steve is first unsettled by this knowledge but then…

Curious. Really fucking curious. 

Yeah, after he gets over initially being squicked out over strangers writing porn of him.

Of him and Tony??

And Thor???

and sometimes even the Hulk??!?!?!

After that, he finds, well. 

The good stuff, as he likes to call it. 

Stories about before. Before the avengers, before the war, even. 

Before, before.

Other lives. All that potential, never reached.

Stories about him, about them about–

Bucky.

They don’t get him right, of course. They didn’t actually know him and the few documentaries floating around out there about him are absurd. 

But some, some of the authors are kind to him, gentle with him. 

The way Steve wishes people had been with Bucky in life. 

And that… That’s hard to look away from. Even though it hurts, so much, like doubling over in front of his computer when someone gets to close to the nerve, to close to the bone, to close to real

That silly boy’s smile and Steve’s fawn heart stuttering in his chest, a literal lifetime ago.

They write about the longing. Watching Bucky’s long fingers play in the perspiration on a Coke bottle on a hot summer day, down by the coast, or a Christmas where they Magi gift each other, or curling up under a blanket on the fire escape to watch the stars and all of them…

All of them close enough to the truth that Steve can pretend, pretend just for a moment, that they are real.

That he can picture, sweetly and perfectly, exactly how Bucky would smile over some barely adequate dinner in their flat before the big confession, the thundering of Steve’s heart and the rush of blood in his ears.

Or picturing Bucky in dress uniform, hat just so and their dates having stood them up (because there was no such dates to begin with, but Steve didn’t know) and him confessing, after, on his knees at Steve’s bedside with his hands fisted in creases of Steve’s trousers, saying I didn’t want to leave with you knowing, without telling— 

It hurts so bad, it hurts so good. He can’t stop reading them, can’t look away.

This is one train wreck he wants to watch, wants it to wreck him, wants to remember what this feeling was like, that they never touched it but it was real– oh god, it was so real–

Hundreds of strangers keep bringing him back to life. His blue coat, his uniform from the docks, his sunday best. Steve knew them all, has drawn them all, knows the smell and the way Buck really did once fist his hands in Steve’s uniform and look at him like they’d both just been raised from the dead.

He thought he might. 

Just that one moment. That one time. After they’d been rescued, before they called themselves the Howling Commandos. 

Back when they were just Steve and Buck and he still looked wild and haunted (died wild and haunted) and Steve was on his knees before him, checking him again for a wound he couldn’t find (a wound that ran too deep) and Bucky’s hands on his face, his shoulders, fisted in his jacket and his eyes flicking to Steve’s lips, to Steve’s hands, to Steve’s eyes.

They didn’t kiss.

It wouldn’t have been right, then. After he’d been damn near tortured to death (to this day, Steve can’t handle that he never found a wound–).

But. 

He read that fic.

That’s how he’d like to think it went down.

It should’ve gone down (that is, if Bucky had wanted, he looked like he’d wanted, but Steve was a coward, put him to bed and stayed up another hour to watch him sleep, fitfully–)

The movies are good, yeah, sweet or painful or silly. 

Something mindless to keep him from wandering off to far.

But the stories are better. And the stories hurt.

Closer to the truth.

Lonely men in shirtsleeves, leaning out of windows. 

There was way more at stake than anything those couples would ever know.

(Steve never tells Tony that he looked, but one day he gives Steve this look, a serious one, that’s what tips him off, before he gently squeezes Steve’s shoulder and goes back to work. Maybe Steve needs to have a talk with Jarvis about privacy among other matters.)

Besides, it’s nice, Always 1895 nice to think that there, in that strange place where everything is infinite, Bucky lives. 

I KNOW PLACES - CHAPTER 18

Chapter 1 - 17

+ + + + + + + + +

A twizzler stick flies around like a flashing red helicopter around my hand, swooshing through the air with its cherry scent permeating the room before coming to a halt.  Shoving it into my mouth, I dramatically take a big bite, flinging my head to the side to sever it in half.  The gesture sends tendrils of matted blonde hair out of my hair tie and flopping against my face, tucking inside my glasses.

Keep reading

One Last Summer - A Jack Gilinsky Fanfiction

Introduction Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 

Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8:

When we returned to the hotel, everyone was eager to get some rest before our departure tomorrow night. Fresh out of the shower and curled up in bed, I was scrolling through twitter when I noticed something odd, a picture of me from today that I don’t remember taking. It was a candid photo of me standing in line with the boys and the caption was: “WHO TF IS THIS BITCH SHES FOLLOWING THE BOYS AROUND EVERYWHERE” Attached to the tweet were more pictures of me near the boys today at six flags. It had 1000+ retweets in half an hour. Oh no. I thought. It’s starting.

I knew it was probably not the best idea, but curiosity got the best of me and I continued to scroll through twitter, reading through the different theories/speculations of who I was. “She’s dating one of the boys.” “She’s Bart’s daughter.” Were the popular ones, but my favorite one by far was “She’s Carter’s cousin and she was sent by him to recruit the rest of the boys into joining 26mgmt.” Just then, a notification popped up on my screen. “GUYS I FOUND HER TWITTER @Y/T/N!!! Following that notification came about a hundred others. My phone was blowing up with notifications, but one in particular caught my eye. It was another photo from today, taken when we were leaving the park. Jack’s and my hands were visibly intertwined, smiles on our faces. "FUCK GUYS SHE’S WITH GILINSKY UGH” “SHE’S NOT EVEN PRETTY THOUGH? LIKE IDGI” “NO NO NO NOT OKAY SHE DOESN’T DESERVE HIM LOOK AT HER” were some of the replies to the photo. I wish I could say it didn’t bother me, but it did. A lot. I shut off my phone and laid in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling until to my dismay, I felt my eyes getting watery and the tears starting to spill. This is ridiculous.

I knew I shouldn’t care what anyone else had to say about me, but I did care. It wasn’t easy being told that you’re not pretty, or not good enough for someone you genuinely had feelings for. What made it worse was the fact that I couldn’t even think “it’s doesn’t matter what they say to me, because I’m the one who’s actually dating him” because I wasn’t. Just then, I heard a knock at the door. Struggling to wipe the tears away, I peeped through the hole in the door and saw Jack G standing outside my room. I opened the door a crack and peeped out at him. “Hi,” I said awkwardly. “Hey, so I know we had a long day but I was wondering if maybe I could come in and we could watch a movie or something? It was nice hanging out with you and the guys today but I’m looking forward to it just being you and me…” He trailed off, scratching the back of his neck, waiting for me to open the door all the way.

I was conflicted. Should I let him in and pretend like nothing’s wrong? Turn him away and wallow in my own self misery? I decided that the former was probably a better idea, so I opened the door wide and let him in. “The tv remote is on the nightstand, next to my phone.” I pointed to where I was directing him. “I’ll be back, I just have to use the bathroom.” I splashed some water on my face in a futile effort to make it look like I wasn’t crying five minutes ago. When I thought that I had done enough to hide the puffiness of my eyes and clear my runny nose, I went back to the room, where Jack was seated on the couch, scrolling through my phone. His eyebrows were furrowed with worry. “What are you doing?” I questioned. His look of worry turned to one of guilt. “I’m sorry, it was vibrating nonstop and so I thought it was important….” He said slowly, putting the phone down. “Why didn’t you tell me that this was happening? Is this why you looked like you were crying?” I didn’t know what to say, so I simply sat next to him on the couch and faced forward, not looking at him. “I just found out about this, Jack. It just started today because people took pictures of us at six flags. I don’t even know what to tell them because I don’t know what we, what this is…” I said, gesturing between the two of us. “The only thing I’m sure of is that I like you, I really do, but I’m tired of these mixed signals.” I confessed, still not looking at him. He cupped my chin in his hand and forced me to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve been distant. But trust me, I really do like you. But I was thinking about what you said to me in the elevator that day, of how you didn’t want to complicate my personal life. Well I didn’t want to do that to you either. I mean, look at what’s happened already,” gesturing towards my phone to prove his point. His hand moved to mine, which were clasped in my lap. He ran his thumb over my palm repeatedly, soothing me. “Jack,” I began softly. “the only reason I’m so upset about the fans saying those things is because I have nothing to make myself feel better about it. If we actually were dating, it wouldn’t be a problem because I know that they’re just jealous. But what are they jealous of now? We’re not together…”

To my dismay, I felt tears prick my eyes for the second time that night. “But we could change that…” He said, still playing with my hand. He looked up at me from his eyelashes, and this time it was me who initiated the kiss, which was nothing at all like our first one. I don’t know whether it was because of my heightened emotions from what the fans said, or simply because I desperately needed him, but this kiss was much more fervent and intense. I moved from my spot on the couch to sit on his lap, straddling his waist. His hands stopped playing with mine and found their place on my lower back, while mine were wrapped around his neck. Our lips were connected at every possible space, and it was like I couldn’t get enough of him. I needed to be closer, so I shimmied myself up his waist a bit, which made him bite my lip in response. Our chests were close, and I swear that if he could feel my heartbeat through my shirt he’d be worried for my safety. I knew this had to end at some point, but I didn’t want it to. He pulled away first, and his eyes were on mine, like he was searching for something. I was slightly embarrassed, and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. “I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me oh my god I’m so embarrassed,” I mumbled, trying to push myself off of him. He grabbed my hands and pulled me back flush against him. “Shh.. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He cooed, kissing my forehead. We stayed like that for a few more minutes until I broke the silence. “Does this mean we’re official? You know, like together together? No more questions about it?” “Yes, y/n. Only if you want it to be.” He absolutely had no clue how much I wanted it to be official.  But what are we going to do about the fans? What will Bart think? All these questions plagued my mind, but at this moment, in Jack’s arms, I could honestly say that I didn't care. We’d deal with things as they come.

Chapter 9