(When Tatsu searched himself up on the internet… xD)
Tatsu: My persona… Well, calling it “persona” is a bit weird, but I am a person who changes quite dramatically when I go out and when I get home. In this sense, the image that everyone has in their minds, or even more so, the things that’ve been circulating all around the internet, are probably… different (from who I really am). *laughs* Yeah, plus there’s also the fact that many things changed as I got older. Um, but it’s always fun to look at (what people are talking about). The topic is not on cell phones anymore [note: he was talking about cell phones before this part], but ever since I got a smart phone, all sorts of information started to flow in – things became a lot more accessible. Gradually, I could no longer resist the lure and ended up searching (myself up on the internet). Looking at the things that showed up, I was kinda like, “Oh this is how people think about me,” “Right, this is how they feel,” or, “Ah, this is how they see me…” I mean, I would tell myself that after all, that was part of the information given out to the public, but the way it turned out was just… completely off… *LAUGHS* You know, that sort of thing happens from time to time.
Despite everything, the way everyone thinks about me is a part of my image, and I feel very grateful~ Well, well, to think of it another way, now that I know (about the opinions from the public), when I get to present myself to those people in person, I would be even more eager to show them the side of me that’s different from what they once thought. Yeah~
~from Cast Free Talk in Shinsengumi Gyoufuuroku Wasurenagusa
(1/3) Hi, I'm kinda confused right now. I have been talking to a guy since last December and have gotten really close with him. He understands that I think I am asexual (definitely sex-repulsed). I've told him that I "like" him. I've told him lately that I would be hurt if he got a girlfriend (though I push him to get a girlfriend all of the time). He is 5 years older than me and is divorced (3 years now).
(2/3) Yesterday, he asked if we were in some sort of relationship like bf and gf but obviously different because I identify as asexual, how would I feel about him taking care of his “needs”? I avoided it and asked if he would want a gf like me. He said he didn’t know because we are different. So he asked me again, clarifying by asking what my feelings would be if he could watch videos in private.
(3/3) Then bringing up that he knows I probably wouldn’t be ok with him satisfying his “needs” with other girls occasionally. He then told me that he knows that some asexual people will allow their partners to be with other people and that’s why he mentioned it. And how he knows I’m not okay with it though. I’m just confused right now about it and don’t know what to think. He has tried to be accepting of me but conversations like this just make me feel alone and confused.
It’s good that you’re setting up your boundaries, but here’s the line;
You have every right to deny an open relationship between you and your partner, but he doesn’t need your opinions about his masturbation habits. I think the both of you are confused about what’s appropriate in an ace relationship, and what counts as fair compromise.
If your partner can’t respect your wishes to be monogamous, then you deserve better. But you have no word on what he chooses to self-stimulate.