watched it again and had to gif it

10

The Doctor Donna

I’ve already watched this scene over and over again and every time I’ve felt like I’ve missed something. I saw the arm rubbing immediately but it felt wrong to call it that. Now I know what Lukas is doing. Lukas isn’t just rubbing up and down Philip’s arm because he wants to. Lukas is caressing Philip’s arm and calming himself. At this point in the series and especially after this episode, everyone can see the impact the murders had on Lukas. The PTSD and fear of being outed consumes him. His only escape is being with Philip and knowing that he’s there. Watching this scene made me remember something Lukas said earlier when he was describing the visions he was seeing. I’m standing right behind him and I’m holding a frying pan but I can’t move. He shoots you. Guys, Lukas’ biggest fear isn’t being outed or ridiculed or even his father. His biggest fear is losing Philip. The one person who always comes back no matter how big he fucked up. The one person who not only understands him but also realizes that somethings can’t be understood and supports him anyway. The one person who loves him more than anything. And he has to remind himself that person is still sitting right beside him.

The feeling of fingers trailing up your spine was the thing that roused you awake, one eye opening slowly as you squinted at the soft rays of sun peeking in through the curtains. 

“Mornin’.” You hummed in response to Harry’s raspy morning voice, choosing to bury your face into the crook of his neck. He was always so nice and warm - Kind of like a human furnace, if that made any sense. 

“Were you watching me sleep?” You spoke up after a couple seconds, pulling away to raise an eyebrow at him as you propped yourself up on an elbow. 

“Me? Psh, no..” Harry teased, waving you off before promptly pulling you towards him once again. 

It had been like this for the past few months. You weren’t technically in a relationship with Harry. After all, he was the one who said he wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment. Sure, you were disappointed at the beginning, but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. 

Of course, things began to change after the first month. Instead of leaving right after your cheeky little ‘activities’, Harry would insist that you spend the night. If you weren’t too tired, he’d even force you to wear one of his shirts so you wouldn’t get too cold. You’d wake up in the morning either snuggled up to him, or you’d wake up to the smell of pancakes and the sound of crackling bacon. 

“What time is it?” You suddenly remembered that damn 8 o’ clock history class you had, your head turning in search of the clock. It was 7:50. “Shit! I have to go!” You gasped, practically leaping off the bed after throwing the blankets onto Harry. 

“Y/N-” 

“It’s going to take at least twenty minutes to walk there, fifteen if I walk.. And I don’t have any money for a cab.” You thought out loud, nearly toppling over as you attempted to slink into your skinny jeans. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You whined, grabbing your watch off the counter and clasping it around your wrist. 

“Cos you look adorable when you’re sleeping.” Harry cooed, running a hand through his hair as he watched you stumble around the room trying to get ready as quickly as possible. “And-” 

“I’m sorry, I’m not blaming you - I thought I set an alarm, but I guess I was too caught up with yesterday that I forgot! My professor already hates me, I can’t be lat-” 

“I can drive you, love!” Harry finally got a chance to say something, getting out of bed before stretching his limbs out. 

“You- Why would you want to do that? Don’t you have a breakfast meeting to go to?” You laughed lightly, bending down to tie your laces. You squeaked as you felt Harry give you a swat on the bum before reaching in the drawers for a shirt. 

“Sure, but as your boyfriend, I’m obligated to-” 

“Boyfriend?” You stood up, staring at Harry in a mix of shock and surprise. Boyfriend? You remembered when he told you he didn’t want to be in a relationship and now.. 

“Mhm. Boyfriend.” Harry breathed out, the two of you locking gazes before a shy smile grew on Harry’s face. “And.. you’re my girlfriend?” 

“I.. Yeah.” Heat rose to your cheeks as you processed what the hell just happened. “I’m your girlfriend.” 

“Good.” And then you remembered - You were in a rush!

“C’mon then, boyfriend! I’ve got a history class to get to.” 

+

gif isn’t mine!

Ok so this year really sucked something fierce. There’s no denying that fact. But ya know it did have its good moments for me and a lot of it had to do with you guys. I’ve made a lot of new friends this year and I’ve started opening up more and talking to more people (even though I’m hella late with replying rip) and that’s really great for me. And there are a few people I really enjoyed talking to that I sorta lost touch with that I’d like to speak with again. I’ve also been branching out with what I watch/listen to and trying to open my mind to new things. I believe it’s really helping me grow to become a better and more accepting version of myself.

Somehow I’m a little under 200 away from 4k and honestly I can’t believe you guys decided to follow and stick with me so long. I can’t tell you thank you enough. I still struggle a lot with editing and whatnot, but I really enjoy it and you guys motivate me to continue to try to improve.

Anyways, none of you want to continue to read mushy shit, so without further ado… here’s my follow forever for the end of 2016~

The Squad™: @gladiolvs, @noctrules, @tetsuyanomura, @tinyienzo

#-E
@2uncute, @3wayfinders, @adawong@aeroas, @aestrels, @ambalambs@angelnamine@aquafells, @bayonettaton, @bhujerbaa@bur-omisace, @cactuarqueen@caerberus, @castleoblivions@cloudstrifes@confoundment@criticaldrive, @daisyridleys@darragons@datamarluxia@dataroxas, @denofwoe, @divecrest, @end-fox@entwinedmemories, @ephemoria@ephemra, @eraqus@exploringcastleoblivion

F-J
@finalaeon, @finalmix, @flurry-of-dancing-buttcheeks, @gatorbiscuits, @genshiana, @glaived@gongagavillages@greekeycoo@gummiblock@heartdrives, @holowbastion@hopeishome​, @houkainumuta, @huntressmaria@ioloi, @its-spelled-lea

K-O
@k0ushis, @keybaes@keybladeheroes, @khaxel, @kingsglaivus@kith-kanan, @larxenereplica, @limitxbreaks@limitforms, @linmanuels@lixana@lunafraya, @lunafreja@macalanias, @magistera, @marluxiaredux@mcxigbars, @mickeyblades@mrbenvey@mrsgrumpygills, @mysterious-figure@naminegg@noctis@nokuto, @noxs@ogir-yensa@oikawos

P-T
@paopuhater, @pinnaclerocks@princess-aceee, @promptis@prompto, @quakening, @queenenix@r-osalinas, @radiantgarden, @radsity@richard-of-windoor, @rionisu, @rutherforrd@seasaltandcastles@seifers, @setsunae@setzer, @sephhiroth@sheikah, @shiverpeaks@shuyiin@silence-traitor, @sleepysylveon​, @spiritqueenie@starrshard, @stormsworder@swallotail, @sylphystiaa@t-subakii@terranatior@thingsinlifeyoujustdo, @thunder-plains@tiduspoo, @tinyshoopuf, @tiredjoel, @toonslink@tuesti@twinkmelchior

U-Z
@vaniccio, @vanikey, @velasereia@venturius, @wayfinderventus, @welqaia@witchguardian, @woodlandcrowns, @xercis@zacksoldiers​, @zelos-wilders

+blogroll I’m so sorry if I forgot anyone!! Also, earlier this year I know for a fact that tumblr unfollowed at least one person that I really like, so who knows if it made me unfollow any more.

Warning; Angsty as shit.


You sat next to Newt on the cold ground and crossed your arms trying to hold in some warmth. He sat there, watching the sky, you could see his breath but he seemed unfazed by the cold. You watched him, his wild hair would brush against his face with every small gust of wind, hiding his blue eyes but when the wind would settle they would appear again, looking sadder than before.

You had no words that would make him feel better so you said nothing. Sometimes it was best to let him work things out himself but you knew having someone there was better than being alone, so you sat, and held his hand, feeling so useless.

“He was a real ass, you know. He constantly said my career was pointless and that I should do something with my life. He wanted me to be a war hero like him, but I guess I just was never that brave. I wasn’t a Gryffindor like him, after all.” Newt clenched his fist, but he wasn’t angry.

“Newt, you-“

“But he was always the first to suggest names for the new creatures I brought home to show them. And he was the one who helped me hide the cats and snakes and owls I would bring home. And when our parents caught me with them, he would try to take the blame, but our parents knew it was me and he would just get in trouble for lying.” Newt chuckled, his fist getting less tense.

“He gave me my suitcase, you know” He finally looked at you and you could finally see how hurt he was. His eyes were shinning with tears he refused to let fall. He was trying so hard not to cry. “Yeah, it was right after I got expelled. My parents were furious, so I hid away in my room, so alone. But one day he came in, holding this new suitcase. I guess he never believed it was me, he was the only one, besides Dumbledore. My parents entertained the idea, they didn’t want their child to almost kill a student but they knew it wasn’t passed my creatures. My father never saw how harmless they were. My mom understood most of them, but not all.”

“I think he wanted me to use it for more practical things, but by then he was used to me disappointing him, I suppose. You should have seen his face when I was placed in Hufflepuff.” And that’s when his grin fell, and you could see his whole body start to tense now. You squeezed his hand a little tighter, hoping to relieve some of his pain.

“I feel like I’ve really disappointed him. That he died thinking I was never going to do anything with my life, that my book is just a fantasy. That my creatures are dangerous and eventually going to end up really hurting me. That he died wishing he had a different brother.” His voice cracked and the tears started pouring out of his eyes. Your heart ached for him.

“I feel like I’ve disappointed everybody.” He paused. “Do you ever get that feeling?” 

He looked deep into your eyes for answers. Answers you would never be able to answer, answers only his brother, Theseus, could answer, answers he would now have to find himself.

So you didn’t answer him, you just reached behind you and pulled a small worn out, leather book out of you bag. It was ripped at the edges and many of the pages were dog eared. Some pages had book marks in them and some had been ripped out and placed back in. But it was a beautiful book, your favorite book. And you placed it in his hands.

“Make him proud, Newt.”


FOR THE RECORD; there is NO ONE who wants Newt and Theseus to have a healthy, loving relationship more than me. And I would also like to believe that Theseus is still alive with Newt in 2017, and theyre just sitting in rocking chairs in the newtcase, drinking hot coco, being happy as shit. SO IM SORRY. 

You’re My Savior

gif is not mine

Title: You’re My Savior

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1,093

Warnings: Suicide Attempt, angst

A/N: I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I had to write this. I just had a lot of Sam feels lately and everyone needs a Sam. I hope you all love this. Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much <3 <3

It was a breezy summer night.  The wind whipped through your hair as you walked along the sidewalk that was next to the bridge.  You started coming here at night more often.  Life was hell in a hand basket.  You were being watched and followed, but no one wanted to believe you.  It was driving you insane.  You had lost all of your friends and your family didn’t even want to talk to you anymore.  You even lost your job.  You had nothing left; nothing to live for.

You took a step onto the bridge’s metal beam, overlooking the river.  You never thought about jumping before.  Then again, you still had something to go back to in the past.  You weren’t sure if you had the strength to keep going.  You looked up and down the bridge; there was no sign of a car in sight. 


Sam turned off of the wrong exit a few miles back.  Now he had to use the bridge to get to the other part of town.  If Dean wouldn’t have left without him to go save his friend Benny, Sam wouldn’t be in this situation.  

As he was crossing the bridge he could see a silhouette in the distance.  He let his car coast as he squinted his eyes to see if there was actually a person standing on the side of the bridge.  He pulled to a stop, turning the car off.  Sam wasn’t sure if you were a spirit or not.  He had to proceed with caution.

Keep reading

Every time I watch This is us I’m a blubbering mess. Even though I itch to watch it every week, I also dread the water works. DAMN Jack OWNED THIS EPISODE!
This episode was everything!
From the whole hallucinating Jack and his interaction with Randall.
The push-up scene ended me. I was reaching down the bottom of my tissue box.
Those push-ups had my ovaries on fire!
Apart from the hubby with the body bit my womb ached for the daddy bit. Wow this is embarrassing but what the hell!
Jack just one upped his game.
I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop…there HAS to be some flaw.
Goddamn it.
definitely gonna watch this show all over again after the season finale!
I gotta hand it to Milo Ventimiglia he has Jack spot on. Every emotion. Everything.
I’m in awe. Every time I watch this show I’m awestruck. The writers are brilliant!!!

Chris watched you from the back corner of the bookstore as you talked to the last fan of the day, or so you thought. His last two hours had been spent waiting in the back for you to get through all your other fans, so he could speak with you alone. The last time he attended one of your signings, he made the mistake of joining the line like an every day man- which he was not; he was Captain America and he had to leave the store before he deterred the attention from you. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again, so there he was pretending to browse the non-fiction shelves.

“You’re my lucky last, Ally.” You signed the inside cover of the thirteen year old’s copy of your latest novel, ‘To My Future Husband’. “Thank you so much for coming out,” you smiled at her and she smiled back. “I hope this book helps you find the love you deserve,” you told her as you closed the book and slid it across the table.

“It will,” she nodded without hesitation and your smile widen. “Thank you so much, Y/N.” She told you and you rose to your feet, ready to hug her when you saw her eyes glisten with tears. “Your books are always so inspiring and heartfelt. I hope that when I’m older I can do what you do, inspire and touch the lives of others with my words.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” You walked around the table and wrapped the young girl into a warm hug. “I hope to see you at my next event. If you’re willing, you can bring me some of your work. I’ll be more than happy to read it,” you told her and her face lit up. “If it’s good, I can get you a meeting with my publisher so you too can do what I do.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” Ally grinned.

“Yes, thank you, Miss Y/L/N.” Her mother smiled at you and you nodded, passing her your card. “You are such a sweet young lady. I’m sure your mother must be very proud of you.” She looked over your shoulder at your mom, who attended all your events with you.

“She’s my biggest fan,” you nodded and glanced back at your mom with a smile. Your mom smiled but tapped at her watch, letting them know that their time with you was up. “Sorry, we’ve got a meeting,” you winced at your mom’s straightforwardness. “Thank you for coming out though, I really appreciate all the love and support.”

“Of course,” Ally’s mom smiled. “Let’s go, Ally.”

The meeting you were talking about wasn’t really a meeting, it was your first meal of the day. Your hand patted your stomach which was now growling at the thought of Olivette’s homemade blueberry bagels. You watched the mother and daughter leave the store and you let out a weary sigh of satisfaction. “And that’s a wrap,” you mumbled to yourself. “Thanks for that, Mom.” You walked back over to your mother who was gathering your things. “If they didn’t go, I was going to faint from starvation.”

“Oh, I wasn’t doing it for you.” Your mother chuckled and your eyes narrowed in confusion. “That handsome gentleman in the back has been waiting two hours for your attention.” Chris winced but turned away from the shelves to look over at the two of you. “I figured Mr. Evans could take you to lunch while I head back to the hotel to get some rest.”

“What are y-” You turned to where your mother was looking and your breath hitched in your throat when you caught sight of the handsome, blue eyed, dark haired, straight from Heaven, Bostonian angel. “It’s Chris Evans,” you breathed.

“Uh-” Chris cleared his throat, his cheeks as flushed as your own. “Yeah, um- Sorry, I’ve just been trying to avoid a scene with your fans.” He started to walk towards you. “I didn’t want to deterred the attention from you because you deserve all the attention in the world and-” He cut himself off, blushing deeply when he heard your mother laugh softly. “I’m a huge fan and I would love to take you to lunch if you- um- if you don’t mind me doing so.”

“Yes please,” you blurted out.

“This is like the start of one of your fan fictions.” Your mother chuckled and you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from scolding her. “Well, I’m going to take your things back to the hotel. Captain,” she addressed him and he tore his gaze off you to look at her. “I trust that you’ll take very good care of my daughter?”

“The very best, ma'am,” he nodded.

“I look forward to seeing you around, son,” your mother smiled at him.

“Mom,” you hissed at her through your tightly clenched teeth, “please stop.”

“Alright alright,” she laughed. “I’ll leave you two love birds be.”
• • • • • • • •
The two of you ended up having lunch on the rooftop of Olivette’s; the café owned by your best friend which meant she had the authority to keep everyone off the roof so you could have some privacy with Chris Evans. You mentally reminded yourself to buy her a box of her favorite Godiva chocolates to thank her, though you were sure that bringing him to her café was thanks enough; she too was a huge fan of Captain America and all things Chris Evans.

“I really hope you turn one of your books into a movie.”

“I’ll only do that if you promise you’ll direct it,” you told him and surprise swept over his face. “You did an amazing job in 'Before We Go’, I’d love to see what you could do with one of my works.” You saw his smile spread to his eyes. “I still can’t believe you’re a fan of my work,” you admitted with a light chuckle.

“Why not?” He chuckled. “You’re an amazing writer, a lot of people are fans of your work.”

“Yeah but-” You tried not to smile as you teased him. “It’s mostly thirteen year old girls.” He laughed, doing his signature left boob grab. “It’s not very often I get approached by guys.” He raised an eyebrow. “About my books,” you added with a giggle.

“I was going to say,” he smirked flirtatiously “Pretty girl like you should be getting approached everyday.” You blushed and bit back your smile. “I don’t know what to say,” he shrugged with one of his adorable half smiles, “your love stories are amazing and I’m a hopeless romantic.”

“Chris Evans, a hopeless romantic. Why am I not surprised?” You smiled and he chuckled softly. “I always had a feeling you’d be, considering you love everything Disney. I think only the best guys can appreciate the kind of love Disney portrays.”

“Okay, stop.” He chuckled and you titled your head in confusion. “You’re becoming more and more perfect with each passing second.” You laughed. “If you continue, I’m going to blurt out an I-love-you and make things real awkward real quick.”

“I think my mom already made things awkward with her comments,” you chuckled.

“Your mom’s lovely.” He said with a smile and you nodded, taking a sip from your water. “What was she talking about when she said isn’t this like the start of one of your fan fictions?” He quizzed and you choked on your water. “Let me guess, you wrote about me.” His lips quirked into an amused smirk and you thought you were going to die from embarrassment. “Wow, I am incredibly honored. Where can I read this amazing collection of fan fictions?”

“Yeah, I’m not telling you that.”

“Can I be honest about something?”

“If it changes the subject,” you winced.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” he chuckled and you sighed. “I’ve read all your little fan fictions on your Tumblr, cute URL by the way.” He admitted and your eyes widened in shock. “They’re the reason I’m such a huge fan of you and your work.”

“Really?” You were still unsure of how to react; did you want to laugh or cry?

“Really,” he nodded with a smile. “I enjoy the way you portray me, the way you portray love. I don’t know if I can live up to your image of Chris Evans but- I’d like to try, if you’re willing to give me a chance.”

Did he just?

“I’m sorry, but-”

“Yes, I just asked you out.” He chuckled softly, scratching the back of his neck. “If this is like your mom said, one of your little fan fictions, you should be saying yes by now and easing me from this nervous tension.” You giggled and he smiled. “So…” He raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Yes,” you smiled.

Angels and Mistletoe

Title: Angels and Mistletoe

Characters: Castiel, Gabriel, Y/N (no pairing)

Word Count: 985

Warnings: Fluff!!

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this one! ;) It was requested by @hair-dye-or-nawh (btw I broke your request up into two different fics. It was easier to do it that way <3) This is from my Christmas Drabble list, which you can find HERE! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated <3

As you shut the bunker door behind Sam and Dean, you exhaled heavily.  Not having them around during the holiday season was a bummer.  Even if Dean was a bit of a Grinch, he was still a pleasure to have around.  Then again you knew you had angels watching over you; you were never truly alone.

You turned on your heels to walk back down the stairs.  Once you turned around you saw two angels staring at you.  “Cas, Gabriel, what are you guys doing here?  You just missed Sam and Dean,” you pointed behind you, confused by their presence.  It wasn’t uncommon for angels to come around when they were gone, but it wasn’t common for them to visit you either.

Keep reading

Imagine:

You wanted to sit with Stiles and Scott but Lydia had called shotgun on sitting with you so you had no choice but to sit in the middle of her and Allison.

You felt a small vibration in your hands, rolling your eyes you unlocked your phone to see that you had received a text from Stiles.

“As much as this is going to kill me to watch could you flirt with Aiden for a while, he’s sat in front of you. Try and distract him”-Stiles

You glanced suspiciously towards the back of the bus at Scott and Stiles.
Looking at your phone once again you began to type.

“What are you up t-actually I’m not even going to ask. Sure I’ll do it but you owe me Stilinski”-Y/N

Here u go @riversong-sam. Had to add another character cos it’s how the gif worked. Time for some fluff!!

Nini’s 1K Gif Celebration Masterlist


My Men

You watched as they went back and forth, insulting each other. Trying to get each other pissed and angry. 

You would’ve been pissed, but it was always fairly amusing, watching them fight over you. Besides, you knew they’d never hurt each other. 

Not to the brink of death anyway. Especially not when you were there. 

“Seriously, y/n? You’re gonna go with birdbrain over here? After the entire week we just had?”

Before you had a chance to respond, Cas got a word in. 

“I’m an angel, you ass”.

You couldn’t help the snigger that escaped, just hearing Cas swearing was absurd. 

Crowley growled and the insults started up again. 

You had no idea why they were like this. Cas was a billion year old Angel of the Lord. Crowley was centuries old demon turned King of Hell. 

Yet here they were, arguing like damn children on a playground. 

You got bored of it eventually, pushing yourself off the car and stepping in between them, dangerously close to each other now. 

“Stop! Now!”

They immediately shut their mouths, glaring at each other before their gazes softened on you. 

“Now, Crowley. We had our week. We had a lot of fun. But it’s Cas’ turn now. Ok?”

He grumbled something, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking away, pissed. 

You sighed, stepping towards him and leaned up, kissing his bearded cheek softly. 

“I love you Crowley. You know that. I love you both. EQUALLY”, you clarified, knowing otherwise, they’d try and argue over which you loved most. 

It was tiring, dating both the King of Hell and an Angel of the Lord. But you managed to make it work. 

Sure, they argued a fair amount. But then there were the times they’d come together, settle their differences, just for you. And that…well that made you feel so damn special. 

“Now, I’m going with my angel. You, calm down. Take care of hell. And then join us at home. I want the both of you with me for a while.”

Crowley groaned internally, but nodded. The birdbrain was ok at times. 

They’d had a few conversations and it was fairly easy to get along. And he knew how happy they both made you. So even if they did argue a lot, Cas and Crowley always knew it’d never go too far. 

There was no way either of them was losing you, and they’d both make sure you didn’t lose either of them. 


Keep reading

Peter x reader (fluff)

Your accident happened when you were about 10. You were crossing the road, you had looked. Just like you had been thought. Left, right. Then again, left, right. The car came out of nowhere. Knocking you down. The last thing you heard was your mother screaming.

You woke 2 weeks later in hospital. The driver hit you with such force that you lost your the power to move your legs. Never again would you walk. At the time you didn’t understand what that would mean. But now you were 19. And you understood. You couldn’t walk to the fridge to get a drink. You couldn’t walk your dog. Swim. Run. Play sports. You had to sit and watch others.

Your family moved house when you were 17. To a quite area. That’s when you met him. At first you ignored him. Thinking he’d like you. Let alone be your friend. Yet you quickly saw how kind he was. How smart he was.

“I wish I could go to the beach” you sighed. It was the hottest day that summer. Your parents were working and you were sitting with Peter in his back garden. He flashed you a smile before running into your house and grabbing a load of things for you. When he returned, he had all the beach things you need. He liked helping you. Not because you needed it but because you were his friend.

Next thing you knew he was running you to the beach. Pushing you wheelchair as he went. Your head spun once he stopped but then you noticed he was pulling you into his arms. Walking slowly to the water at dipping your toes in. Peter was your best friend. Maybe more. There wasn’t a label on it. There didn’t need to be. It was perfect the way it was.

Red started loosing it, before liz faked her death. When she was planning to marry Tom again, we saw him become sad and desperate. He knew he needed to stop Tom but had no good way to do it.
He knew if he killed Tom, Liz would ask him and he had vowed to never lie to her, so he knew he’d have to tell her the truth. That would cause her to hate him and he’d lose her forever.

For once, Red was helpless to do anything except stand back and watch the woman he loved more than life, marry another man…again!
Then, making matters worse, Liz faked her death to get away from Reds influence.

Can you imagine how you’d feel…..to love someone so deeply, watch them die, only to find out they staged it all and did it to get away from you?!
No wonder Reds a mess. It’s a miracle he’s held it together as well and as long as he has.
He’s in such a dark place right now. I hope Lizzy will have some compassion and be kind to him. I hope she will take Dembe’s concerns to heart and try to pull Red back.

When he shot Kate, I think he killed a big part of himself. They had a long history and a close bond. He’s been consumed with guilt and grief over that as well.
But he’s tried to forge on. I think he’s still somewhat suicidal. Even with Liz alive, she’s keeping him pushed out of her life. Without her, he has no hope, no reason to go on. If he gets killed, he really doesn’t care that much.

“ I watched it, every day. Every single day. It spread more and more and more. Every time you spoke to me. Every day I came home, it had spread farther, gotten darker.” 

I got a lot of asks from people who were worried about Karamatsu ever since I made the post about his mental state, and then again in my followers post. Well, my friend wrote a wonderful fic about it which honestly is what I wanted to say except they put it into much better words than I ever could. SO if you want a conclusion to Karamatsu’s situation, you should go read the fic!!!