watch your parrot

anonymous asked:

Okay so, because many Otayuri shippers dont seem to understand why the relationship is unhealthy I'll share something. I'm 15, turning 16 very soon (3 months), and I was in a sort of relationship with an 18 year old. The power dynamic was so obviously bad. Like its just not okay! He was lowkey pressuring me to do sexual studf. Which i never did

Yikes I’m so sorry you had to go through that. My first boyfriend in college was 21 when I had just turned 18 and even though that’s not really a bad age gap in principle and definitely not on the same level as dating an adult when you’re a teen, the differences in where we were in our lives (as a brand new freshman vs a junior with a job, an apartment and an established friend group) really made our relationship very one-sided and ultimately was really bad for me.

I feel like adults often forget how much of a difference one or two years makes when you’re a kid. Like I work with high schoolers on a regular basis and the difference between freshmen and seniors is staggering?

The fact is a relationship can still be unhealthy without it being abusive. Your older partner can be kind and caring and treat you well but still not be good for you. For one thing, younger teens dating older teens are often super socially isolated, because either you only hang out with them or they bring you into their older social circle as an outsider; an adult isn’t going to want to hang out with kids, and that’s ultimately going to end up isolating you and your relationship from your friends who are your age.

Plus, here’s the thing, you may find it flattering that an older person is interested in you but the fact of the matter is if they’re interested in dating teenagers…. they’re a loser at best and a huge creep who wants to take advantage of younger people at worst. Like maybe dating an 18yo at 15 makes you cool but that 18yo? Sorry but they’re a loser, if they weren’t they would be able to date someone their own age (and really, you can’t flatter yourself that you’re just better than every other 18yo out there).

Every single person I know who was in a relationship with an older teen/adult as a young teen was incredibly messed up by it, boys and girls alike. You can’t just act like these things are harmless to play with as long as you keep it within the realm of fantasy when there are literally children in this fandom who are watching you and parroting your ideas and behavior. I see 15yos defending o/tayuri and it makes me so sad, like that is literally how this stuff becomes normalized and these immature-ass adults who sit here insisting that their actions don’t have consequences are the ones doing it. A 15yo doesn’t know better but a 20+yo? You know damn well that what you’re doing is inappropriate and frankly it’s super weird that you would even look at a teenage character and think “yeah, I wanna think about /that/ one getting it on!” Like even if you then age him up to make it “ok,” the original sentiment remains the same. Why are you doing that, especially when there are characters with more screentime, better characterization and an actual canon, well-written and fleshed out relationship to focus on? Like I can literally see no reason other than that you want to fixate on the unhealthy elements and that’s so fucked up.

Don’t imagine this. Just keep on scrolling past this ridiculously stupid thing I’ve done.

Masterlist

I loved loved drunk Mike! Maybe another drunk Barba, but instead of the dom one that you did, a more romantic one?

“Come on, Rafi! It’ll be fun!”

“Absolutely not, cariño. Do you remember what happened the last time I got drunk, hm?”

You looked towards the ceiling, hand under your chin, pretending like you had to recall the time he was referring to.

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