watch your feet

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc it’s easier

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc it’s safer

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc they don’t feel like they can pull off anything else

shoutout to nonbinary people who default to presenting as their assigned gender bc presenting as their real gender is impossible

shoutout to nonbinary people who present as their assigned gender bc they want to

shoutout to nonbinary people whose presentation is mistaken for their assigned gender but is in fact how they express their real gender

just because we might “look cis” doesn’t make us any less nonbinary and tbh fuck anyone who says otherwise

favorite roadhog things pt. 1:

  • “taking the point. property of  r o a d h o g.”
  • the way he laughs when mercy power boosts him
  • (”what is your name anyway?”) *annoyed* “MAKO.”
  • “i’m gonna make you squeal.”
  • the jingly sound his hook chain makes when he walks
  • idk there’s probably more i’ll reblog thsi when i think of some
    • u can add stuff too if u wanna
Necessary

“I can already tell, that it won’t taste as deliciously as you would.”

Précis: In which you go on a date with your supposed boyfriend who loves to flirt, and not just with you.

Note: *starts snickering* does anyone remember this? One of my first bts fics ever, and it’s back and revamped. You’ll thank me later. | Words ➳ 7.4k

Genre & Warning: Angsty with a side of fluff, or am I lying? No warning, goodbye.


It was on a frosty evening when you found yourself sitting alone on a metallic bench, your eyes filled with such awe and longing as you watched the snow fall softly. You didn’t know what it was, but as your hand slowly reached out to grab a few snowflakes onto your glove, you inspected them carefully and smiled at how delicately they were made, as if the angels residing in the clouds took their time to construct and sculpt each one as they flew freely into the sky; only to be smothered and perished into the ground.

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Fake Chats #185
  • Namjoon: they say you should never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.
  • Seokjin: what they mean is: if you prefer the lie, don't ask for the truth.
  • Namjoon: they say curiosity killed the cat.
  • Seokjin: what they mean is: get your nose out of my business or I'll kick your butt.
  • Namjoon: they say everyone is afraid of what they don't know.
  • Seokjin: what they mean is: the unknown is scary, duh.
  • Namjoon: they say pride goes before a fall.
  • Seokjin: what they mean is: if your nose is in the air, you'll trip over your own feet. Namjoon. Not that you're prideful, but watch your feet, seriously.
  • Namjoon: they say never to kick a sleeping dragon.
  • Seokjin: you mean never kick a sleeping Yoongi.
  • Namjoon: same thing, really.
  • Jungkook: woah, the translator's translator!
  • Jimin: Namjin!
  • Jungkook: you ship it?
  • Jimin: they're cute. So, yeah. Don't you?
  • Jungkook: I mean, I wouldn't say it out loud,
  • Seokjin: what he means is: yes, but I'm a shy and awkward little bunny, please don't put me in these types of situations.
  • Jungkook:
  • Jimin: they say there's no wrath like a mom's.
  • Namjoon: and that's exactly what they mean.
  • Jungkook: I don't like you.
  • Seokjin: aw, I love you too, honey.

“'Cause I know your face // And I know your hands // And I know your breath // And I know your lips // And all I want // All I want is you tonight.”

“lydia” highly suspect
“i want you” marian hill
“angel” theory of a dead man
“bloodstream” transviolet
“iris” the goo goo dolls
all i want” daniella mason
“tonight” seether
“parachute (dan romer spook out)” ingrid michaelson
“ares” winters island
“drumming song” florence + the machine
“love me blind” thick as thieves

[spotify] [playmoss]

2

I’m actually rewatching the first bit, since I didn’t get too far, and to get me back to where I was. Which brought me to this point, which is THEY AREN’T WEARING WHAT YOU’RE WEARING

THIS IS A SEA OF UNFLATTERING TURQUOISE LEISURE SUITS

SHOW ME THE BOY WEARING A MARCHING BAND JACKET AND BOOTY SHORTS

SHOW ME LITERALLY ANYONE IN THE WORLD WEARING THIS BUT YOU UTENA

Training Wheels. Dean Winchester.

Request:  Can you do a Dean x reader smut based on the song “Training Wheels” by Melanie Martinez? Love you♥️

Triggers: Smut. Angst. Mark of Cain Dean.

Word Count: 1084



You gulped as you watched Dean’s knee bounce anxiously in the chair. He was on edge, eyeing the box with the First Blade. You licked your lips and got up, grabbing it and walking off. “Whoa, Y/N,” He said, getting up. “What are you–”

“I’m gonna put this up,” You said, meeting his gaze. Dean blinked as he watched you. “Dean, it’s making you antsy. So I’m gonna put this back where Sam left it.”

“It’s not making me anything,” Dean defended, hands up. “I’m fine.” You gave him a leveling stare before walking off. He sighed and sat back down, jutting his jaw

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Kiss the Girl

<< PART 1 ( part of your world )

<< PART 2 ( washed up )

Group: BTS

Pairing: J-HOPE X READER

Excerpt: ‘he dived under water, you still in his arms as you continued to writhe around all the air escaping your mouth in bubbles. Then your lungs filled with water.’

Genre: fluff, mermaid au

Length: 1.5k

A/N: I’ve always believed in mermaids

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

 

“What’s the difference between a siren and a mermaid, mummy?” Your mother had glowered at you; in all honesty, she just wanted you to drop your obsession that she knew would most likely lead to you going too close to the water’s edge. But still, she pulled you onto her lap, brushing off the damp sand on your knees as she pulled you to her chest,

“Originally mermaids and sirens were two different beings, mermaids known for physical beauty, and sirens had heavenly voices,” you smiled looking up at her, as she continued her story, “but somewhere along the way the lines blurred, sirens became as beautiful as mermaids. That’s why you have to be careful,” she tapped your nose lightly, “These days the only way to tell them apart is you listen. A mermaid may have a beautiful voice but a sirens' melody will pull you to the water against your will.”

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Left Behind

Originally posted by multi-fandom-imagines13


Summary: Request-  May I request? It’s quite angsty and the scenario is where the reader, Winter Soldier and Captain America are in a life threatening situation, in which only two of them can make it out alive so the reader devises a plan - Prompt line: “You have to trust me on this one” that requires her to stay behind and get killed. The other two don’t realize what the reader has done till it’s too late.

Warnings/Themes: Angst, Panic, Implication of character death, cussing

Author’s Note: I’m not lying when I say that I wrote this at 2am in the morning. This has not been checked for errors, so woops. Enjoy some angst and bad fluency!

Word Count: 2,270 words

Y/N = Your Name

”Making my way to the front of the compromised helicarrier. (Y/N), Buck, do you guys copy?”

“Got it Cap. How many are you seeing, Bucky?”

“Three by the looks of it.”

You were looking for a bomb, the reason unknown to you. The problem was- it was designed so compactly that it would’ve been the size of a fucking lipstick tube and no one would know.

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Quiet - Carl Grimes

Request:  hey could you do a fic where carl gets the reader pregnant by mistake but they end up keeping the baby and the reader survives the birth?? love ur acc btw!!x

a/n: I’m sorry it’s been a while I’m just so shit. I will post more requests this week so if you’ve made a request look out for yours. Also to the person who requested this, if you’d prefer a smuttier version I’d be glad to give you it. xo

Warnings: None, implied smut I guess. 

You lay on the bed next to a sleeping Carl as you lace your fingers with his. It was about 4:30 in the morning and you were going out of your mind. You reach into the pocket of your jeans and pull out the pregnancy test you took earlier. You examine it, staring at the 2 lines on the stick as Carl stirs, moving so his head rests on your chest and your arm is resting on him. You sigh as you being to wonder again.

You could run away. But that wouldn’t solve anything and you couldn’t bare to part with Carl. You could tell him but you were afraid of how he would react. You didn’t know whether he’d be so happy that he’s basically beaming or you didn’t know whether he’d be so angry that steam could be coming out of his ears. Those were the only options. No matter how scared you were you’d never give up your’s and Carl’s baby. 

You sigh deeply but quietly careful not to wake Carl up and you stare up at the ceiling as you feel nauseous before you start to feel your eyes droop so you put the stick back in your pocket and then let yourself fall deeper and deeper.

When you wake Carl isn’t beside you and then you immediately freeze. Your hands fly down to your pockets but when you feel the stick you breath a sigh of relief. You move to stand up but when you do you feel the sudden urge to be sick. You rush to the bathroom but when you get there the door is locked. You bang on the door as you breath in and out and then you are greeted with Carl, smiling when he sees it’s you but frowning when you push past him.

“Are you okay?” Carl asks as his hands move to rub over your back, soothing you. You shake your head, still hunched over the toilet. He kneels down beside you once you flush the toilet. You stay sat on the floor as you try to calm yourself. He looks at you and lays a hand on your cheek and you lean into his touch. “What’s wrong? Are you ill?” He whispers. Your eyes flutter shut as your heart quickens and you smile at him.

“Nothing’s wrong. Just got a little dizzy that’s all, i’m fine.” You murmur as you stand from the floor, Carl following. You leave the bathroom and enter the bedroom as you sit on the bed. You breath in deeply, your hand moving to your stomach before getting up and walking back into the bathroom. Carl must’ve gone downstairs because when you switch the shower on you realise he isn’t upstairs anymore. You take your clothes off, chucking them to the side before stepping in. You let the water fall down your back before moving your head so the water covers your face.

You put your clothes back on before leaving the bathroom and going down the stairs. You see Rick with Judith and you walk into the kitchen.

“You alright?” You are greeted by Michonne and before she leaves the kitchen she stops. “Everything alright with you and Carl?” She asks while her hand touches your arm in a comforting way. You look down at your arm and then look back up.

“Of course. Why?” You question, still staring Michonne in the eye. She looks at the door then back to you before sighing.

“Carl just came down the stairs and he looked pretty angry. When we asked what was wrong he just stormed out of the house.” She huffs. Your brows furrow as your mind rushes. You think but the more you think the more confused you get. Then your eyes widen as you go stiff. Your eyes wide, almost bulging out of their sockets and your breathing deep. You move your hand to the pocket of your jeans and pat vigorously. Carl must’ve found the test in your pocket when your clothes were on the floor when you showered.

Your mind blanks as you forget everything for a second before you run to the door of the house and leave. You search for Carl from the doorstep but when you can’t see him you find someone.

“Have you seen Carl?” You spot Carol in the street as she walks and as you breath harshly, her face turns from cheerful to confused.

“Yeah I just saw him. He went into the chapel.” She says and without even thanking her you rush past her. You reach the front doors of the chapel and try to calm yourself. You take a deep breath in and then push the door open and you are met with a pacing Carl holding the pregnancy test in his hand. He doesn’t look up when you walk towards him but utter something inaudible to you. You stop walking and wait for him to look at you.

“How long have you know?” He whispers.

“Couple of days.” You say, your voice breaking as you feel yourself shake a little. He breaths abnormally quick as you furrow your brows and search his face for some sort of emotion.

“I can’t be a father.” He sighs as you see a grimace on his face. Out of no where he throws the stick to the floor and it bounces, descending slowly. Your eyes blink fast as your heart rate increases and you take a small step back. You break and stare at Carl before you huff and begin to walk over to him but he steps back. “Just give me a second.” He murmurs at you. You sigh and without thinking about it your hand moves to your stomach and you shake your head.

“You think I’m ready for this? I’m scared shitless. I’ve been going out of my fucking mind not knowing what to do. But I know you can be a father, I’ve seen you with Judith.” Carl looks into your eyes and soon you are walking towards him, slowly. But this time he doesn’t stop you. He merely watches you as your feet lightly move across the room. You finally reach him and you both just stare at each other.

And then, it’s as if the earth wanted you too, your lips connected to each other and his hands move to your face as he pulls you close. It’s passionate and deep which makes you breath harshly when he pulls back.

“I love you.” He whispers as he searches your eyes. You let out a small chuckle and nod your head lightly.

“And I you, which is why I know I can do this. It’s why I know we can do this. We can give this kid a happy life. We can all be happy.” Your hands cup his cheeks and his eye shuts as he huffs out a sigh. He nods at you and you take his hand and walk out of the chapel with him to head back home. “There’s only one thing worse than telling you.” You say as you walk side by side, your hands laced together.

“And that is?”

“Telling Rick.” You laugh and then Carl stops in the middle of the street. His face frozen into a petrified stare. You walk back to him and put your hands on his shoulders as you gently push him towards home. “It’ll be fine, I promise.” You whisper to him. “I’ll speak to him before you tell him okay?” He nods and you smile.

“Let’s go.”

11 M O N T H S L A T E R

You stand, hovering over yours and Carl’s bed as you watch your son sleeping peacefully. As you look at him you know that he is someone that you would do anything for. Along with Carl of course. You brush your hand lightly over Aidens cheek as your heart grows more and more. You hear footsteps coming up he stairs and you are met with Carl.

“Here’s his-” You silence him by covering his mouth and his brows furrow. You point to Aiden sleeping on the bed and he nods.

“Shh, be quiet. He’s finally sleeping.” You mumble.

“So I waited for his dummy to be clean and he fell asleep anyway.” You chuckle and place a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Yeah, all I did was stroke his hair. He fell asleep in a matter of seconds.” You whisper and he smiles down at you. You were grateful for everything that’s happened in your life so far. Here you are, stood in a room with your sleeping son and your loving fiance. Carl was one of the bes things that ever happened to you, along with Aiden and you wouldn’t be who you are today without Carl. You hear footsteps again and this time you are both greeted with Rick and a sleeping Judith in his arms.

“I’ll watch him. You guys go out for a bit, have some time alone. But please no more grand kids. Not at the moment at least.” He chuckles as he lays Judith next to Aiden.

“Are you sure?” You whisper and he nods.

“Of course, I remember how hard it was when we first had you Carl. Lori was always up at night feeding you and I was always up with you in the mornings. Guess you guys understand now.” He laughs lightly and you do too before leaving the room, thanking him. You both sit on the sofa downstairs and you place a kiss on his lips before moving to straddle him.

“My dad could hear us you know.” He murmurs against your lips. Your hand moves to the button of his shirt before disconnecting your lips.

“I guess we should try to be quiet then shouldn’t we.” You laugh and he kisses you hard.

“I love you. And Aiden too of course.” He whispers before laying you down gently.

“I love you both, so much.” You felt happier than you have ever felt before. You were lucky to have the family you have now, even if the world has gone to shit.

5

Derek x Reader

Warnings: talks about sex, jealous Derek, first time, sex, smut

Requested By Anon


Derek glanced up when you shuffled into his loft, he was surprised to see you’d come alone, normally if he so much as looked at you he’d have you caving into a giddy blushing mess. He knew exactly why you acted that way, the scent of it clung to you, driving the wolves insane but they resisted you.

You didn’t mean to have the deliciously obsessive scent and no one wanted to be the first one to point it out. He watched as you stopped in the middle of his living room and glanced at the door as if you were having second thoughts about being there.

 

“You alright?” He asked finally and you jumped when he stepped into the dim light.

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Teaching Starters

A sentence meme where my muse is showing yours how to do something or vise versa. Some are particular or specific, while others may be left to interpretation.

Teaching:

You shouldn’t wear yourself out so quickly… breaks are fine too.
Be sure to water the plants carefully, they’re more delicate than they seem.
Getting injured isn’t going to help anybody, don’t overdo your training.
See, tying a tie is actually easier than you think…
The thing about cooking is, as long as you stick to the recipe there isn’t much that can go wrong.
Only point a weapon when you intend to kill.
Jumping headfirst won’t be an advantage in a fight. You’ve gotta be defensive… a thinker.
A garden requires patient labor and attention. You can almost say it’s a labor of love.
Music expresses what can’t be put into words. Tune into your feelings first.
Calm down. A little hard to do that task when your hands are clamming up, isn’t it?
Look you don’t drown, I’m holding you up alright? Try floating.
The brush strokes are too wide. Keep your hand more controlled.
Knitting isn’t so hard once you learn the basics.
Keep your emotions in check. That fear of something going wrong- your hesitation. Discard it.
You have great potential but your abilities should be kept in control first.
You look like you’re getting tired. Should we conclude this for now?
Fishing isn’t just about catching fish… it’s also a form of meditation.
To dance you need to have rhythm. Watch your feet now.
As long as you’re doing your best, that’s what matters. Let’s try again.
Just do what I do. Watch me carefully…
Now this part is tricky, but you can perfect it with practice. In time, it’ll almost feel natural.
You need to be more careful, that was reckless!
This isn’t a race. You will learn it within time and with patience, I promise.
You won’t make progress if all you’re trying to do is impress others.
If your art makes people happy, that’s really what matters.
I’ll guide you through it. Give me your hand…
Being stubborn is cute and all but it won’t help you here.
I don’t always have all the answers. Sometimes, you need to find them on your own.

Being Taught:

This is boring.
This is taking too long, how long am I supposed to go at it? Years?
My work isn’t as good as yours…
I’m getting tired…
I’m not that tired…
This is too hard.
I don’t have much of a green thumb though…
But it always burns!
I’m trying but I feel like this isn’t going anywhere.
Can you show me how to do this?
Okay, d-don’t let go of me though…
I can’t, I’ll sink like a rock.
I want to get stronger. Will this really help me?
My drawings suck.
I can’t do this if you’re just gonna be staring at me.
This is confusing! None of this is making sense!
I did it! I finally did it!
Bet you’re impressed by my progress, huh?
But I’m singing the notes… where am I going wrong?
What do you mean you need to ‘believe’ what I’m doing?
It should be fine as long as I’m stronger than them, right?
You said you would take it easy one me…
But I’m doing everything you say…
Doesn’t it scare you?
How does this taste?
But we’ve been at this like ALL DAY…
I’ve made a lot of progress… thanks to you.
All you do is point out what I’m doing wrong.
As long as you’re here to show me, I don’t think it’s all that bad.
Well? Do I pass?

My Beautiful Boy. Bucky Barnes.

REquest: Could you write a curvy reader/Bucky with the Kinks 7,14(strap-on),22,24 (her to him)40,61 (him sub but her as a lovingly firm dom) and 95. I also picture her calling him Beautiful Boy. I know it’s a lot I’m sorry! Id understand if you don’t want to. 

Triggers: Heavy heavy smut. Sub!Bucky.

Word Count: 1622

Enjoy ;D

Originally posted by stuckwithbuck

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❝ A terrible thing happened!❞
❝ This would be easier if I could understand you better. ❞
❝ I’m about to make it worse.❞
❝ Oh joy. Now my mother can get that kidney operation she so desperately needs.❞
❝ This stays strictly among the Fable community.❞
❝ Lay one hand on me, asshole, and you’ll regret it.❞
❝ I’m taking you in.❞
Never discuss personal hygiene with a bridge troll.❞
❝ You’ve occasionally been clever, _____ … but never smart.❞
❝ You’re getting a bit nosy, mister/miss/misses ______❞
❝ If you can’t maintain a normal human appearance or purchase a concealing Glamour from one of our witches our rules mandate that you be relocated upstate to the Farm, where all the other nonhuman Fables live.❞
Both of you shut up and let me work. ❞
❝ This is abuse of authority! And I got a witness! ❞
❝ Does it matter?❞
❝ We have to make as best we can.❞
❝ Is he/she the one?❞
❝ If she/he opens her/his mouth again, pick her/him up and carry her/him home.❞
❝ I can’t help but notice things. I believe that’s why you hired me,❞
❝ I’m not much interested in what you think is and isn’t a good idea. ❞
❝ You look out of breath, ____. Been climbing beanstalks again? ❞
❝ I’m afraid this time it’s different, I understand there’s blood. Lots if it.❞
❝ Did you run all the way over here just to trade verbal barbs,or is there something else you need? ❞
❝ Don’t be so dramatic. I already know. My ex is back in town.❞
❝ We’ll see.❞
❝ Can’t you go faster? ❞
❝ Damned right I want to know. I’m going with you❞
❝ You power-mad fuckshit!❞
❝ Fine. I get the message. I’ll keep quiet – for now.❞ 
❝ I take it back. You’re still a monster through and through.❞
❝ It looks that way.❞
❝ Hide your wallet first.❞
❝ I won’t take up too much of your time, but I have a few questions.❞
❝ I’m bleeding you shit! Why’d you do that?❞
❝ Is that why your handsome prince/pretty princess divorced you?❞
❝ Get up. It’s morning. I need to go to work and you need to get out.❞
❝ Whoever did this is one of us.❞
❝ You make it sound like a fucking synonym for — I don’t know — a turd sandwich.❞
❝ Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?❞
❝ You can’t fool this nose.❞
❝ Watch your smart mouth, sonny boy/ girlie❞
❝ If you’re going to advance, advance like you mean it. ❞
❝ Unlike you, I have responsibilities.❞
❝ I thought I’d find you out here.❞
❝ How can you be sure? ❞
❝ Don’t you have a government to run?❞
❝ I can’t just now.❞
❝ Did you kill her?❞
❝ Nothing to apologize for. I expected it to happen sooner.❞
❝ You’ve gone dotty, sweetheart.❞
❝ Mister/Miss/Misses _____, if you’re going to insist on calling me princess/prince, please don’t do it in that tone of voice.❞
❝ Why don’t you tell me what you want, so I can get back to work.❞
❝ Don’t beat up on yourself so much.❞
❝ No, ma’am/mister. I’ve never had much of a sense of humor.❞
❝ We’ll get around to him/her. But let’s finish up with you for now.❞
❝ If you think that, maybe you should add me to your suspect list.❞
❝ I apologize for the waterworks in there. That wasn’t very professional of me.❞
❝ Thank you for coming on such short notice.❞
❝ Why don’t you let me handle things from now on?❞
❝ Then my money says ____ did it.❞
❝ So what actual conclusions did you come to?❞
❝ It’s comforting to discover your voice haven’t lost any of its venom over the years, lovey.❞
❝ And what about the time you tried to raffle off the map to your remaining magic beans?❞
❝ I will, if it becomes necessary. I promise. But so far that isn’t the case.❞
❝ How dare I what? Speak rudely to a mass murderer?❞
❝ Then you’re wasting my time and yours.❞
❝ I don’t eat sweets.❞
❝ I’ve had my one loss of composure. You won’t have to worry about further emotional fits from me.❞
❝ Then quit your fucking dissembling and answer!❞
❝ You’re always trying to beat the system, ___❞
❝ Think about that before your next lesson.❞
❝ The minx seduced me.❞
❝ This shouldn’t take long.❞
❝ Well, ain’t that a big kick in the pantalones. ❞
❝ Feel better now?❞
❝ I’m not a delicate flower. I can take bad news.❞
❝ You can’t keep sneaking into the city to crash on my couch.❞
❝ When did you get to be such a potty-mouth?❞
❝ She/he ‘s dead – carved up like a Christmas turkey. And rumor has it that creepy boyfriend/girlfriend of hers/his did the dirty deed.❞
❝ You are an impertinent man/woman. I demand satisfaction!❞
❝ But she/he only dated him/her to make me jealous.❞
❝ Not to worry. Sit down. Make yourselves at home.❞
❝ We can have it lab tested if you like but there’s zero chance that it isn’t her/his blood.❞
❝ What? How dare you!❞
❝ I’m charging this pompous asswipe with ____’s murder.❞
❝ We called ahead. Your boss is expecting us.❞
❝ I’m leaving now, before I scream.❞
❝ I like to come here to think – which I do best when left alone.❞
❝ On-guard position, ____. My turn to attack now.❞
❝ You may not have done anything this time, ___. But you are never innocent.❞
❝ Then comes the fun part I promised. You get to make a big mess.❞
❝ But I can’t help but wonder if you haven’t turned back to your old eating habits.❞
❝ I’ll keep that in mind if I ever do decide to kill anyone.❞
❝ Where did you get all that?❞
❝ And when exactly are you planning to clue me in?❞
❝ Oh look. After all these years, the wolf has finally shed his sheep’s clothing to once more show us the true beast underneath.❞
❝ Oh, we don’t need to stand on formalities. Not when it’s just you and me.❞
❝ You are a tedious, small man, and in need of more frequent bathing.❞
❝ How dare you treat me in such fashion! ❞
❝ Talk now and you can save yourself some pain.❞
❝ That’s not the way we do things anymore.❞
❝ Oh joy. Then don’t carry it that way, or you’re likely to cut your own head off.❞
❝ Wait! Both of you! We don’t want to talk ourselves into rash actions here.❞
❝ Machines hate me. I’m a genetic luddite, incapable of operating anything more complex than my toaster.❞
❝ Do what you need to, but have this wrapped up by the gala.❞
❝ Boo-fucking-hoo.❞
❝ Has it escaped your notice I’m bleeding? I need a doctor.❞
❝ Excuse me?❞
❝ And don’t let the mundys catch you.❞
Get him/her, ____! He/she ‘s trying to kill me!❞
❝ I have no idea. It came out out of the blue.❞
❝ Good hunting, sir.❞
❝ And what are you going to be doing while I’m doing your work for you?❞
❝ This is the vorpal blade of Jabberwocky fame. Kills in one cut, snicker-snack and all that? Does all the fighting for you?❞
❝It’s all very complicated and I can’t explain it yet. So just go along.❞
❝ I was half-way hoping you’d have gone home for the night, so that I could put this off until tomorrow morning.❞
❝ Mop, wax, scrub and paint until you return it to pristine condition.❞
❝ Let’s all step back, take a deep breath, declare a minute’s moratorium on the chest-thumping and see if we can’t think things through a bit more rationally, okay?❞
❝I’m content to cut at you all day and all night, until you confess❞
❝ You can be one frustrating son of a bitch!❞
❝ Your record’s been clean since you came to town.❞
❝ Be my guest. I’d love to have that menace out of my life.❞
❝ Poor baby.❞
❝ Keep your pants on! I’m coming!❞
❝ You need to prepare yourself for some bad news.❞
❝ I’m sorry.❞
❝ The only easy day was yesterday.❞
❝ We’re coming to your rescue.❞
❝ Don’t put ideas in his head!❞
❝ What are you talking about?❞
❝ We both know you’re too much of a narcissistic asshole to ever blame yourself for any of your many failings, so did you blame her/him/_____?❞
❝ Not a chance, boys. Hauling all this crap was just the first act. Your workday has barely begun.❞
❝ The best mother/father any boy/girl could want.❞
Drop the knife and back away from the boy or I’ll rip your fucking throat out.❞
❝ I need you to be in one piece for the big party next week.❞
❝ I’ve got more bad news for the two of you.❞
❝ Nonsense. If I were trying to kill him/her, he/she ‘d be dead now.❞
❝ Can we go now? ❞
❝ What do you say? Growing tired of the taste of gingerbread?❞
❝ If I have to lay my hands on you, it won’t end until one of us is dead on the floor.❞
❝ My hero. *sarcasm*
❝ That means there’s no hope that she/he/___ is still alive.❞
❝ Yeah, well my heart bleeds for you, you know what they say.❞
❝ Most of us knew it was only a matter of time before you reverted to your old ways, ____. Nature cannot be denied.❞
❝ I want something of my own. ❞
❝ I suppose it would have been too much to expect to be born smart as well as privileged. ❞
❝ Where do we buy the lottery tickets? ❞
❝ Why dwell on one unfortunate incident so long ago? ❞
❝ I imagine that will only grow worse after tonight. ❞
Both of you, quit your damned bitching and crying.  ❞
❝ My god, are you completely devoid of social skills? ❞
❝ I didn’t anticipate being the center of so much attention ❞
❝ You’re about to find out exactly how much I can prove. ❞
❝ Enjoying the party? ❞
You ought to know. You helped put it there. ❞
❝ Don’t start. ❞
❝ Pardon me, but you’ve suddenly grown wearisome and pedestrian. ❞
❝ Many of us didn’t have the chance to run. ❞
❝ Ladies and gentlemen, lift your glasses and join me, please, in drinking this toast. ❞
❝ I want to grow up, I want my balls to drop, and I want to get laid. ❞
❝ But maybe there’s a way for all of us to avoid that harsh necessity. ❞
❝ But still working for a minimum wage in a ________ ❞
❝ All sorts of things never occur to you, dear. ❞
❝ Why go into hock to win more lost lands and another useless title? ❞
❝ How much have we made so far? ❞
❝ But you’ve got nothing on me– nothing you can prove, anyway. ❞
❝ You’ve never danced before? ❞
❝ Are you on the menu? ❞
❝ I’m an old veteran of these affairs. ❞
❝ There you are. Don’t you look nice. ❞
❝ But we’re missing the party! ❞
❝ I am most certainly not having a good time. ❞
❝ As promised, my love. ❞
❝ If I win, I’ll be a princess/prince in my own right. ❞
❝ Are you going to act like this all night? ❞
❝ It wasn’t our/my business. ❞
❝ I finally made it. ❞
❝ Oh my, is he your date, princess? ❞
❝ Don’t literally watch your feet, just kindly stop stomping all over mine. ❞
❝ Shut up, you pathetic, bleating child. ❞
❝ Shallots? But you clearly said red onions! ❞
❝ Perhaps women wear low necklines to filter out the gentlemen from the dogs. Those few who can still manage eye contact, even in the presence of breasts like these, might actually have some potential. ❞
❝ You poor girl/boy ❞
❝ And this time leave the guns, daggers and battle axes at home, please. ❞
❝ Do you see why I needed your help? ❞
❝ Don’t spoil the evening, darling. ❞
❝ Oh gosh. I sure hope not. ❞
❝ So how long do we have to do this before we eat? ❞
❝ Gently, please. I’m not some suspect you’re about to wrestle to the ground. ❞
❝ You look like you’re trying to peek down my dress. ❞
❝ I was beginning to think I’d been stood up. ❞
❝ I swear you’ve had that same scowl on your face for the past three or four hundred years. ❞
❝ No wonder they call lotteries taxes on stupid people. ❞
❝ Why don’t you run your own damned errands? ❞
❝ So it’s not as if you’d suffer any embarrassment if I never showed. ❞
Everything must be coordinated to arrive at the proper time! ❞
❝ I demand an explanation! ❞
❝ Now, follow my lead and try to stay off my feet. ❞
❝ We need to be out on the dance floor. ❞
❝ No matter. You always go this thing stag, right? ❞
❝ When did you forget how to enjoy yourself? ❞

5

Eggsy x Reader

Code Name:  Gawain

B don’t forget! - Eggsy - Galahad + Roxy - Lancelot (don’t mix up again)


“Eggsy you’re not working with Roxy on this one i’m afraid.” Merlin said through the headpiece as Eggsy headed up to the room that had been on the note he’d been sent.

“Oh yeah then who’d you set me up with?” Eggsy asked half joking as he readied himself for some grumpy older Kingsman.

“Gawain.” Was all Merlin said.

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