Always up to trend so they have to have a pumpkin spice latte. They are usually the ones to complain about the cold so you can catch them near a fireplace. Making arrangements to hang around their friends. Usually the ones you spot out at a coffee shop catching up with their friends. They also love to travel to get unique pictures.
Fashion. The ones to go shopping for Autumn attire. Takes lots of Fall inspired pictures to post. Loves to bake the Phillsbury pumpkin sugar cookies. Loves to decorate their house for the holidays.
Spends time to read. Will be the one to attend a Halloween party. Brings food and drinks to the party. Is excited to go to a pumpkin patch and pick a pumpkin out. Likes to write. May write about scary stories or an Autumn inspired poem.
Pumpkin spice everything. Is a basic witch. The one to have a yearly Halloween party. Can be found hanging around their family. Plans to go trick-or-treating with their friends in matching costumes. Takes pictures outside to post on the internet.
Likes to take a drive around town to see all the decorated houses. Hangs around friends and watches horror movies. The ones to impetuously jump in snow for fun with a bathing suit on. Goes to their friends house for the food. Carves a unique looking pumpkin.
Cozied up in bed reading a book. Puts the cooking channel on and loves to cook. Is outside enjoying nature. Picks out the perfect fall outfit and plans to take a trip somewhere different. Calls their loved ones to invite over.
Is excited for all the romantic Fall ideas. Dinner dates with home made cooked meals. Watches corny Halloween movies. Loves to invite their friends over. Is probably applying Fall inspired makeup to take aesthetic pictures.
Perfect time to watch horror movies. Goes to haunted houses and visits grave stones. Stares at the moon at night. Likes to go camping around Fall. Plays with a Ouija board with friends.
Bike rides in the woods. Skinny dipping at night. Does the usual Fall trends like carving a pumpkin and trick-or-treating. Likes to go to theme parks around this time of year. Is the one at a Halloween party to drink. Makes up “scary” stories.
Likes to go on walks in the cold. Likes to be active so they’re either skiing or building a snowman. Finds time to read books. Enjoys the cold and likes to look out a window and contemplate. The one to enjoy dressing up for Halloween.
Is the one to get the most Halloween candy. Will take more candy then what someone wrote on paper. Will prank their friends. Is either sipping on coffee around their friends or at home alone singing to Halloween music.
Draws in their room. Is the one to be watching a Halloween movie alone. Texts that one friend about their crush. Loves to bake and probably finishes a whole plate of cookies. Is probably at a relative’s playing with a baby or pet.
I might even lose my virginity to him. I don’t know when it will happen. You know, maybe in five minutes, or tonight, or six months from now, or maybe on the night of our wedding. But the really amazing thing is, it is nobody’s goddamn business.
w h y did they change it from philosopher’s stone to sorcerer’s stone in america like, did they just think americans were too simple to understand what the fuck a philosopher is like, it seems insulting to americans really, and also philosopher and sorcerer are not even synonymous, they’ve changed the name to Harry Potter and the Wizard’s Stone but like, they’re all fucking wizards that’s the whole premise of the series
We are immediately given a sense of Columbus’ voice in the prologue, which is important because he narrates the entire film. From the beginning we get a strong sense of not only who Columbus is but the rules by which this film operates (in a literal sense, as Columbus lists his rules for surprising Zombieland). We get all the backstory we need: we’re dealing with fast zombies, world on the brink (or post) apocalypse, etc. It all works as a strong setup to a great film.
2) According to IMDb:
[Rhett Reese] the co-writer of the film plays the man in the white tuxedo with an assault rifle in the opening credits.
3) Columbus as the gas station.
(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)
We have been introduced to Columbus’ rules for surviving Zombieland (cardio, beware bathrooms, seat belts, etc.) but this is where we first really see them in action. Whenever a horror comedy is made it is easy to go low on one of those elements in favor of the other. The comedy has been established by Columbus’ voice but now we see that this film CAN be scary. There is genuine suspense on the scene as we practically wait (like Columbus does) to see if there will be a zombie attack. Not to mention they get in a good jump scare or too.
4) Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus.
As mentioned above, Columbus is our film’s main character. He’s the one we get to know best throughout his narration. That means he cannot - under any circumstances - be boring (or else the film will be too). And although Eisenberg’s performance may not differ TOO greatly from some of his other work, that’s largely because it does support the character. Columbus is interesting, developed, funny, and sometimes tragic. We get a sense of his fears (of which there are MANY) and how they can define him, but we also see him grow to face those fears for those he cares about. All of the characters are developed wonderfully in this film and Columbus is no exception.
5) Story is conflict, conflict is interesting. The two parts of the main bromance meet when they’re pointing their guns at each other. That just DRIPS with conflict and speaks to the wonderful heart of their relationship.
6) Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee.
From the very first moment Tallahassee shows up on screen you know he’s special. He just LOOKS badass and Harrelson ends up stealing every single scene of the movie. Tallahassee is largely enigmatic, but we do get to know him as the film goes on.
Columbus [seeing a zombie eat a corpse]: “I mean it makes you -”
Columbus: “I’m worried about you.”
He’s developed throughout. You understand how much he fucking hates zombies and later you understand why. Sometimes when you reveal more about an enigmatic character they lose what makes them interesting (see: Jack Sparrow). But not with Tallahassee. I think this is a testament to Harrelson and the filmmakers for making him strong throughout.
7) This could really be a note thrown in while talking about Tallahassee, but I think it deserves its own recognition. The fact that such a notable part of this movie is Tallahassee looking for Twinkies gives the film two things: a strong through line and a unique character detail. Columbus’ analysis of why Tallahassee feels so strongly about this, about how it makes him remember a time when things were normal, also gives it heart. It’s not a joke just to be funny, there’s a reason behind it. I love that.
(GIF originally posted by @themarvsthompson)
8) I’m so tired of this idea that if you’re a guy who still has his virginity you’re some kind of loser. Like, fuck that shit.
Columbus [explaining how he was kind of a dweeb before zombies]: “Virginity: totally justifiable to speculate on.”
9) Amber Heard as 406.
There’s a pretty good chance that this is the only film I’ve seen Amber Heard in (that’ll probably change when Justice League comes out) and while it may not be exactly the part of the year, Heard really commits to it. In her human form you are able to invest in 406 really quickly, as Heard plays her fear and panic totally believable. But the actress also plays the part as a zombie which requires a unique physicality that not everyone can master. 406 as a zombie is freaking great though, with Heard bringing that unique movement to the character while also being really fucking scary. I dig it.
10) There are so many small jokes in this film I love I couldn’t possible list them all.
Tallahassee [about a zombie free place]: “It’s all just nonsense. You know, you’re like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year.”
Columbus: “There are no penguins on the North Pole.”
Tallahassee: “You wanna feel how hard I can punch?”
11) The scene with Columbus and Tallahassee in the grocery store shows off one of this film’s best qualities: it has fun with its zombie violence. It’s over the top and crazy making all the zombie killing just wildly fun.
12) The con Little Rock and Wichita run on the two guys is so interesting. For one thing actresses Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin are so good I’m 100% riveted by both performances. They give it their all even though it’s fake, even though they’re conning them. And the fact that it is a con, that twist to the scene, speaks to who they both are as characters.
Wichita: “Better you make the mistake of trusting us then we make the mistake of trusting you.”
Their trust issues with everyone but each other is great. The relationship these sisters have is developed wonderfully, defined by their interaction during the following car ride. We understand how this relationship works and the love they have for each other in NO TIME.
13) “Zombie Kill of the Week” discussion.
Take a look at that scene, take a look at that production design. The film never calls attention to it but you 100% understand what has happened just by looking at it. The tanks, the banners, the propaganda posters, all speak greatly to the world we are currently in. Juxtaposing that against the sheer irrelevance of the conversation Tallahassee and Columbus are having about killing zombies is a perfect representation of the film. Incredible humor against a bleak landscape. (Note: the first half of the scene is not featured in this video, the one where they’re talking about zombie kills of the week. Just so you know.)
14) Abigail Breslin as Little Rock.
None of the main four characters in this film are weak, meaning Breslin is able to hold up against her cast members (including and especially veteran Woody Harrelson). There’s this sense of sarcastic humor, almost jadedness, and charisma that Breslin breathes into every scene. She’s basically twelve year old Han Solo fighting zombies. I love that.
15) I relate to Columbus in this moment.
Columbus [after Wichita highjacks his car and points a gun at him]: “I kinda like this girl.”
16) There are occasional flashbacks to life BEFORE zombies which could’ve really messed with the film (especially considering it’s less than 90 minutes), but they’re put in good spots and improve on the movie’s human element (which is incredibly important and I’ll speak more on soon).
17) Emma Stone as Wichita.
I love Emma Stone. I’d watch Emma Stone read the phonebook as a film. So I’m not exactly unbiased here, but I freaking love her as Wichita. The character is wonderfully layered, with trust issues being a defining trait but so is her love for Little Rock. The more she lets those issues go, the more she trusts Columbus and quits keeping him and Tallahassee at bay, the more fun we get to have the character/the more invested I am. But again, I’m hardly unbiased.
Wichita [about Columbus, Ohio]: “It’s a total ghost town, it’s burned to the ground.”
The fact that this packs as much of a punch as it does speaks greatly to a really important part of this movie: it’s human element. In a movie called Zombieland there are probably more scenes without zombies than there are with them. Except you don’t notice this, you’re not bothered by it, and that’s because this movie isn’t about the zombies. It’s about the people living in Zombieland, living this world with zombies in it. We don’t spend as much time developing the zombies or the mythos there as much as we do getting into the characters who we are traveling with. Through trashing the roadside shop, through their time together, through their car ride conversations, through all of it. And it is done in an incredible way that just keeps getting stronger the longer the film goes.
Columbus [about Little Rock]: “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland.”
Wichita: “It’s tough growing up.”
19) Okay, the entire idea with “Zombie Kill of the Week” is a holdover for when this script was going to be a TV show. And it’s one of the best gags in the film.
20) I love the following car scene. If I could find a clip of it I would post it here, but it’s a bunch of little moments cut together which are so great (including a scene where Little Rock explains “Hannah Montana” to Tallahassee in an improvised moment). It’s one of my favorite moments in the film and I wish there was a clip of it online.
21) Bill. Fucking. Murray.
The video is not the best quality but it’s the only one I could find with the whole scene.
Okay, the first time I saw this was in 2012. I hadn’t laughed in movies a lot since then, it had kind of died out of me. This scene busted my gut and has me laughing like crazy still to this day. The best fucking scene in the whole film it is just pure, unbridled fun! Murray fucking shines! And the way it ends!? Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I can’t explain it in justice. Watch it. Watch it now.
22) When we learn the truth about Buck (that he’s Tallahassee’s son who was killed by zombies, not his dog), the fact that this film is a human story is clearer than ever. It’s this one scene, this one revelation, which catapults it from good to great. Before it was a really funny zombie comedy movie and now its something else entirely. It’s so much more human and relatable. I just really love the thought the filmmakers put into that.
(GIF source unknown [if this GIF is yours please let me know].)
23) One of my favorite pairings in this film is one which doesn’t get a lot of screen time and that’s Tallahassee and Little Rock. There’s this close to parental bond (more like uncle or older brother) they have and it comes through very nicely in the scene where Tallahassee shows Little Rock how to shoot.
24) Columbus and Wichita’s nightcap.
This is a great moment of vulnerability and honest connection between the pair. The fact that the film spends a couple minutes just going over their respective 1997’s means we get to know even MORE about them in an interesting way. As the audience we are treated to so much rich character information and development in not a long runtime and this scene shows that off beautifully.
25) I thought of this as Little Rock and Wichita get to the rumored Zombie-free-zone of Pacific Playland: the external goal in the movie is the amusement park, but that’s not what they’re looking for. What they’re looking for - what everyone is looking for - is something they had before the zombies. Columbus was looking for his family, Tallahassee is searching for Twinkies, and the sisters are looking for just a little fun that kids get to have. There all looking for a little bit of normalcy where they get to just be PEOPLE who can relax a little, something they end up finding in each other.
26) The extended climax of this film works for a few reasons. For one thing: Little Rock and Wichita being stuck on the drop ride creates a great amount of tension. The suspense and sense of risk is present throughout in scenes like the haunted house and Tallahassee in the prize cage (supported by slow-motion). That, and the zombie killing is as kickass as ever.
27) I haven’t really talked about this before but I like how this film is able to make their zombies a little unique in design. They’re not carbon copies of Romero zombies or 2005 Dawn of the Dead zombies, they’re their own thing.
28) This is Columbus’ climax.
Columbus [trying to save Wichita, stopped by a zombie clown (he hates clowns)]: “Of course, it had to be a clown. No, it HAD to be a clown. And it had to be Wichita for me to finally understand that some rules are made to be broken.”
He disregards his rules (specifically, “Don’t be a hero,”) in order to just do the right thing. To live for someone else for once. I dig it.
29) I always say you can tell a climax works because once its over all the tension in your body just vanishes. That is true for this film, once the zombie clown is dead.
30) Wichita’s real name - Krysta - is actually the name of Emma Stone’s mother in real life.
31) TALLAHASSEE GETS HIS FUCKING TWINKIE!
32) There are few films which are able to include their message in dialogue without being cheesy as all hell. This film is one of them.
Columbus: “And without other people, well you might as well be a zombie.”
33) And, if you stay after the credits…
Zombieland is a freaking classic. Holy crap, I love this movie. It’s tight, funny as hell, and the decision to tell a human story above all else gives it an amazing beating heart. All four the main cast members are through the roof incredible, it’s got Bill Murray in it AS Bill Murray, I just really fucking love it. One of my favorite films of all time. Go watch it, it’s not that long.
I just realized that in the Chamber of Secrets movie Harry, Ron and Draco have weird ass voices.
And ever since I realized it, I just can’t stop laughing watching the movie. They were so squeaky in Philosopher’s Stone and then they get “man voices” in Prisoner of Azkaban, but like Chamber of Secrets is just so fvcking awkward to listen to.
LIKE ARE THERE ANY HEADCANONS/FICS FOR THIS SHIT. Because I haven’t seen any fics about these babies dealing with their voices changing like:
Draco trying to yell at Harry or Crabbe and Goyle in this menacing voice but like it comes out a squeak? Coz he can’t control his voice?
Ron gets called during class and he rasps out this really embarrassing voice thing.
Harry and Draco arguing but then they end up squeaking at each other coz their voice broke. And they’re both mortified so they never speak about it ever again.
OR GOD. All the boys in their year going through it like, TALKATIVE SEAMUS. Everyone used to like Seamus talking, he has a nice accent but then during the puberty phase they are like, “oh god Seamus shut up no”
Or Neville developing his deep voice and people just can’t see it yet.
BLAISE ZABINI TRYING TO FLIRT BUT FAILS EPICALLY BECAUSE HIS VOICE FAILS HIM.
HARRY TRYING TO PARSELTONGUE BUT THEN PUBERTY STRIKES AND LOL NO THE SNAKE/BASSY WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT.
Theodore Nott making himself extra quiet that year because he knows he sounds like shite and he doesn’t want anyone to tease him.
Justin bragging off to Harry (lol during Herbology) but then his voice breaks and he just drops a pot because oh shit.
PEOPLE. This is cute golden puberty shit right here.
My fave crewt isnt just them being cute and holding hands and sharing scarves while giggling but also these two antisocial dingus’ being seen as Those Weirdos Over There wherever they go because it’s the noodly ginger who keeps staring at the ground and mumbling what you highly suspect are insults while his suitcase growls ominously and his boyfriend/bodyguard, Credence “Resting Murderface” Barebones, isn’t saying shit but is staring at people in a way to make everyone highly suspect he may in fact, be a serial killer
Of the two, the one with the serial-killer stare is the more socially adept. Because at least he isn’t prone to suddenly climbing over people/buildings because a neat looking bird went by
post-squip; jeremy is buds w/ rich and michael isn’t really, so jer is like “hey you should also be friends with rich” and michael agrees so he and rich becomes friends but jer then feels jealous bc mike is hanging with rich more and more
I walk down the hall to meet up with Rich- yes that Rich, the same Rich that bullied me for a year, the same Rich that set a fire and burned down a house.
That’s all behind us now that the Squip is gone. Ever since that happened, everyone has been pretty chill and not as douchey.
I see Rich up ahead, with Jake, and go towards him.
“Hey, Heere!” Rich calls as soon as I reach him.
“Jeremy.” Jake nods.
“Hey, Rich, Jake.” I say.
As they continue to talk, i take my time to look around.
I see Chloe texting someone, and Brooke trailing behind her like a lost puppy. There’s Jenna talking to Justin Croft about something drastic that has happened.
And walking through the door is Michael. Michael has been my friend, since I can remember. Walking with him, is Christine. I dated her for a while, but we just didn’t click. I was heartbroken for a while, but Michael helped me through it.
“Heere? Heere? JEREMY!” Rich yells as i snap back to reality.
“Um what?” I say (awkwardly shall I add).
“Why don’t you ask Mike over there to hang with us?” Rich asks, also looking at Michael.
“Um, I don’t know, Michael doesn’t do well with new people. I-I could try though, heh.” I say.
Rich gestures to get Michael and I take a deep breath and go to him. Ever since I broke up with Christine, I’ve been closer with Michael. Yeah sure, I was close with him before, but it’s different, ya know?
I get to Michael, “Hey buddy! Rich wants to k is if you want to hang with us?” I ask.
Michael darts his eyes towards Rich and Jake and then back to me.
“Umm, I don’t know man. I promised Christine to help her with math.” Michael says scratching the back of his neck.
Christine interjects, “No no! It’s fine! Really. I’ll just ask someone else.” She says smiling.
Michael laughs nervously and shrugs, “Guess I’m with you guys.”
“Hey,” I say putting a hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”
He gives me a warm smile, “It’s fine, we all need to get out of our comfort zone once in a while.”
We walk back to Rich and see that Jake had left to go talk to other people.
Rich sends Michael a warm smile, “Hey, Michael, how ya doin’?” Rich asks.
Michael shrugs, “Good I guess?”
Suddenly the bell rings signaling that first is starting.
“Nice chatting with you too! See ya at lunch?” Rich asks, walking away.
“See ya, Rich!” I call back, “You want me to walk you to science?” I ask Micheal.
“I’ll be fine. See you later, Jer!” Michael smiles and waves, and then he’s gone.
I wave back and then I’m off to first.
Lunch, best part of the day. I can finally eat food without getting in trouble. You can talk to your friends without being told to be quiet. You can wonder aimlessly outside. Do whatever in these 30 minutes.
I walk to where Michael and I usually have lunch and spot Michael and Rich looking at Rich’s phone.
I’ve gotta admit, I feel a pang of hurt, but quickly push it off like nothing and head over to them.
“Hey guys, hope you didn’t eat all the food without me,” I joke, sitting next to Michael, who is now i’m the middle.
“Dude, you have to see. Rich just showed me a video of Jake fall and dropping his Slushee!” Michael says between laughs as Rich hands over the phone to me.
To be honest, I don’t really pay attention to the video. I pretend to laugh and i glance at Michael and Rich’s legs touching. Weird, I know. it i still can’t help feeling… envious? I don’t know, but I don’t like it, whatever it is.
I hand the phone back, “Sooo, Michael, my dad is going out this weekend so it’s just me and I wanted to know if you wanted to sleep over or something? We could play games, you’ll be my player two! Like old time,” I smile awkwardly at Michael.
Michael eyes widen, “Oh! Uuhh well, actually, Rich kinda already invited me over and, uh, I said yeah?” Michael scratches his neck.
Ok now that hurts.
“Oh, that’s fine. You two have fun,” I sadly smile.
Michael looks at me for a second and turns back to Rich to finish their conversation.
For the rest of lunch, I stay quiet.
Last day till another week of hell.
And the last day till I see him again.
His tan skin, black hair. His brown eyes and that same damn red sweatshirt he wears everyday.
I hear my phone buzz, and I shit up from my bed to retrieve it.
It’s from him.
Of course it is.
Player 1: jer, u ok????
I quickly text back:
jerbear: ya?????? why wouldn’t i be????
Player 1: u seemed off on fri…
jerbear: bro,,, i’m fine,,, really
jerbear: how was hanging w/ rich?
Player 1: oh
Player 1: we never ended up hanging out…
jerbear: oh??? why?
Player 1: i just,, didn’t feel like it.
Player 1: it’s not that same
jerbear: ??? explain
I turn off my phone and go downstairs to get lunch while waiting for a reply.
Once I get downstairs, I see my dad (without pants) making something that we’ll probably eat for dinner.
“Hey they, Heere!” He greets.
“Hey dad.” I reply, getting left over pizza from the fridge.
“Why do you sound so… meh?” He asks, turning around.
“Why is everyone asking that!?” I snap, slamming the fridge door shut.
“Woah, Jeremy, just askin’.” Dad says, putting his hands up defensively.
I sigh, “Sorry, I’ve just been…” I trail off looking outside the kitchen window.
“Huh, so you like someone?” Dad says smiling.
This draws me back, “whAT NO WHY WOULDYOUSAYTHATNODADIDONTLIKEANYONEWHOEOUODEVENLIKEMEAREYOU-”
“Jeremy!” My dad cuts me off, “I was just asking!! But by the seems of that answer… you do like someone!” He laughs.
“Ugh, dad, I- I don’t know.” I say sitting down at the table and putting my head down.
“Well, if you do like someone, I’ll be there to help you sort it out.” He reassures me, patting me on the back.
I sigh once more, and head back upstairs with my cold pizza.
Once I sit back on my bed, I check me phone for any answer, and I’m surprised to see multiple texts from Michael.
Player 1: its just whenever im hanging round rich and ur not there it doesnt feel the same
Player 1: like ya rich is cool and all that jazz but its just two dudes hanging out
Player 1: but w/ u it feels more personal and kajdjsjdk
Player 1: ugh sorry i’m venting
Player 1: ill stop bothering u
I immediately reply.
jerbear: nonono tell me, i want to know
Player 1: its complicated bro
jerbear: there’s nothing you can’t tell me
jerbear: i’ll be there for you
Player 1: but what if u hate me???
jerbear: there is nothing you can do to make me hate you man
Player 1: okok hold on it’s a lot to write
And with that, he starts typing away and I am left to wonder.
An hour later and I still haven’t gotten a reply, and it’s starting to worry me.
Finally, my phone buzzes and I quickly go to read it.
Player 1: i like you
Wait.. was that it!? That’s what took an hour to write!?
But wait, does he like me? As a friend or… more??????
jerbear: i like you too bro
Player 1: no
Player 1: i mean i LIKE you
Ok, that wasn’t the right to to send.
But the question is… do I feel the same way?
Player 1: jeremy??!!
jerbear: give me a min to think k
Player 1: !!!!
It’s now Monday morning and I’ve been looking at that message all night, trying to figure out what to say.
I begin typing.
jerbear: 1) sorry i haven’t answered yet, i needed time to think
jerbear: 2) i like you too
jerbear: 3) i think i’ve been lowkey jealous of you hanging with rich
Player 1: woah man
Player 1: sweet
Player 1: wanna go out on a date????
I smile at the text.
jerbear: sure :)
Player 1: :))
jerbear: date meaning you and i get stoned in your basement and watch a movie