Wammy’s House Headcanons (that all actually happened)
//As I’ve alluded to a few times, I went to a public school with very rigorous academic tracking, and thus spent most of my childhood among precocious, hypercompetitive oddballs who would have fit right in at Wammy’s House. So because I’m bored, here’s a smattering of the bullshit we got up to over the years that I think work perfectly as Wammy’s headcanons:
In elementary school, a teacher noticed that a number of the kids weren’t getting along with anyone, so she dubbed them “the Friendship Group,” made them eat lunch together in her classroom, and tried to force them to make friends with each other. The first Friendship Group lunch ended with Mello hurling a chair across the table at Near’s head. There was no second lunch.
In middle school, Matt started a secret Pokemon card club that met during lunch. Roger promptly banned it. Pissed, Matt started a secret poker club instead. Roger found out and banned it. Matt then started a no mercy rugby club…
Also in middle school, Near, Matt, and Mello set aside their differences to conspire against a particularly obnoxious substitute. Through cunning use of distractions and good teamwork, they managed to sneak behind the teacher’s desk and unplug the overhead projector seven times in forty-five minutes. They also convinced the baffled substitute that Matt’s name was actually Fred.
One day in the cafeteria, Near and Mello got into a loud and pointless argument about whether the Holy Trinity was polytheistic. The argument ended with Mello yelling “THREE PARTS, ONE WHOLE, DIPSHIT,” and smacking Near over the head with a stale cafeteria breadstick.
In high school, Matt decided to scientifically test his theory that a particular teacher never paid attention to him by seeing how many pencils he could get to stick point-first in the ceiling before she noticed. It took her two days and nearly thirty pencils to catch on.
On a Spanish class trip to Barcelona, several students got off a stop too early on the subway and wound up in a red light district. Mello somehow managed to offend a prostitute he tried to ask for directions, and the whole group was chased for several blocks by angry, screaming women. Mello was never allowed to live it down.
In literature class, the students were given a list of novels and allowed to choose which one they wanted to read. Mello chose Moby Dick because he assumed no one else would, and he wanted to show off. Near chose Moby Dick because it would piss off Mello. Matt chose Moby Dick just to watch the Near/Mello shit go down.
On a similar note, Mello spent weeks bragging about how perfect he was for a part in the Wammy’s House annual musical and telling everyone else not to even bother auditioning. Near, who hated musicals, auditioned for the same part just to piss Mello off–and got it.
One day, Roger had a mixup and forgot to hire a substitute for the history teacher. Upon realizing they’d been left to their own devices, Mello and several other students began gleefully writing nasty messages about the teacher on the whiteboard–only to discover when they tried to erase them that the marker they’d been using was actually a Sharpie. Mello spent the last five minutes of class frantically scrubbing the board with soap and water and yelling at Matt to stop laughing his ass off and help.
After hours of work, here it is: A somewhat modern take on the beatles cartoon. I’m not even going to pretend like I didn’t trace this, I did, but it was mostly because I wanted the lineart to look clean I know, the shading makes absolutely no sense, but god damn it I like it.
You wont be able to find the exact frame in the cartoon this is from because it’s actually two frames edited together, but they’re from 24b if anyone cares.
The Goblet of Fire! Anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament need only write their name upon a piece of parchment and throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night. Do not do so lightly! If chosen, there’s no turning back.