watch the tester

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January Fic Recs

Hey folks! When I posted my fic recs last month, I mentioned I wanted to make it a monthly thing. So here are some of my fave fics from January.

Political Warfare by reserve | @reserve

Are you a spy or a whore?

This is some really good classic Benarmie. Both of them are very in character and yet obviously muchyounger.

An Analysis into General Hux’s Personal Life, as Collected by Lieutenant Mitaka by naevia_nadia | @lady-starkiller

An average day on the Finalizer, an average day of being an assistant to General Hux. With the arrival of the rest of high command in three days, there is much to do, really much for Mitaka to make Hux do. So perhaps it’s not so average after all.

But something is strange: the General is more tired than usual, even though the project has been finalized for months. The kitchen reports someone going down in the middle of the night for, of all things, strawberries. And in engineering, someone has a knowing smirk on her lips.

What has happened to General Hux? Can Mitaka solve it before high command arrives and before his best clue, the general himself, is taken away from him?

It’s like a murder mystery, but without the murder.

Though when it’s revealed to him what has happened to the General, Mitaka thinks it might become one very soon.

Probably my favourite characterisation of Mitaka ever. He has a sass to him and of course he ends up in a bad situation when he discovers Hux’s lover.

Dopheld Mitaka’s Doomed Retirement Fund by gundamoocow | @agent-nemesis

Dopheld Mitaka attempts to film his superiors having sex for fun and profit. What happens next may surprise you!

Another great fic with Mitaka only this one features terrible awkward sex. Very funny.

Not Every Experiment Has Scientific Merit by JinxedAmbitions | @jinxedambitions

Hux likes to experiment in the bedroom, but if he isn’t careful sometimes he becomes the test subject.

Written for the prompt: Maybe some kylux nipple play?

I love these two with a power play dynamic while they’re also in an established relationship. Really good smut with good banter.

The Only Ones Alive by commandershit | @commandershit

Hux digs up his old sex tape. Ren attempts to reconcile the man he knows with the one who films himself wearing lingerie and getting fucked by various alien species in bars. They both have fun.

The perfect combination of cold!Hux and slut!Hux. And of course xeno!Hux. Ft Kylo who is so hot for Hux 100% of the time.

Carpet burns by Ellstra | @ellstra

Hux’s fascination with Imperial officers is not only professional. Kylo decides Hux deserves to relieve the pressure of command for once, and buys an Imperial uniform from Space ebay™.

Holy shit, this is some good dom kylo/sub hux shit. Kylo completely fills out Hux’s fantasies of Imperial Officers.

The Pleasure Tester by JinxedAmbitions | @jinxedambitions

Kylo gets home from a long day at work, and he needs something to wind down to. So, he looks for some porn to watch. He finds ‘The Pleasure Tester,’ a ginger in a lab coat who claims to test different sex toys. It shouldn’t be sex, but Kylo finds himself aroused and unable to look away. All data points to Hux being just what the answer to a long day.

Written for the Kyluxhardkinks prompt: Hux is a sex toy tester with his own cam channel. Kylo stumbles across it one day and is utterly baffled by his reaction to this prim and proper mystery man giving clinical descriptions of a sex toys effectiveness. He times his orgasms and rates them based on a heart monitor. He also measures his ejaculate with exacting accuracy. None of that should be sexy right? So why can’t Kylo jack it to anything else any more?

This fic is all about Kylo getting off on Hux being clinical and thorough. Hux is very professional about being a porn star. 

Night Rider by slutpunk | @slutstiels

“I wanna—” Hux mumbles, voice all soft and worn out, but fuck if his cock isn’t twitching back to life. “I wanna do it.”

Kylo’s fingers pause inside him. “What?”

“I wanna fuck your truck.“

I absolutely love this series and it got even better. Kylo is possessive and intense and Hux is such a slut, despite only being with Kylo. 

bodies against by brawlite | @brawlite

When Hux finishes and hazards a glance in the mirror, he cannot feel anything but pride. Looking at himself is very near a religious experience: he is gorgeous and divine. A complete work of art, even in stocking feet. For a moment, he laments the fact that no one else will see him like this, no one else will appreciate just how much effort he has put into his appearance. It is truly a pity. 

General Hux buys himself a present. He ends up sharing said present with the Knights of Ren, who shamelessly barge in on his personal leave time.

There’s nothing like 9K of well-written smut about a Hux/KoR orgy. 

Pretty Young Thing by betts | @bettydays

ren takes the cigarette out of hux’s hand and tosses it on the ground, snubs it out with the sole of his five hundred dollar shoes. “no smoking,” he says.

hux glares at him. “why not?”

“i said so.” ren places his hand on the brick beside hux’s head and leans in so that their noses are almost touching. he reaches up and cups the kid’s face, thumbs over his bottom lip. “and you always do what you’re told, right?”

(A compilation of sadist Ren / tiny dick Hux ficlets from tumblr.)

I shamelessly love this series. Each ficlet is filthy and has a tiny bit of feels sprinkled in it. 

Wet Mouth Sounds by K_dAzrael | @kdazrael

For the kyluxhardkinks prompt: 'Hux is one of those Youtubers who do ASMR videos but they’re wearing really skimpy outfits and whispering all sexy. Kylo watches all Hux’s videos and leaves comments saying he’s a slut. What happens next may surprise you…?’

Kylo is sleazy af and lacks the ability to recognise Hux at all. Even if you aren’t a fan of asmr its a good read.

Convivial Society by Vadianna | @vadianna

Leia doesn’t know what to think when she sees the report about two First Order prisoners taken by surprise. They are suspected First Order officers, but the field can’t verify this.

She understands better when General Hux is brought before her, obviously caught in the middle of some rather intense sexual intercourse.

She has to ask.

Hux is high and explains in detail his sex life with Kylo to Leia, thinking she’s a hallucination. It is amazing. 

Kylo Ren in a uniform by @francisthegreat

This fic is from tumblr, of course, but its still great. It features Kylo wearing an officer’s uniform and saying filthy things to Hux. Super hot. 

Edit: I just found out it’s also on AO3 –  Orderly Conduct by Ajaxthegreat

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Okay, that’s it for this month. As I mentioned yesterday, I’m on holiday as of tomorrow so I won’t be reading much fic for the first part of Feb. I’m also moving in a few weeks so we’ll see how it turned out. 

JFC guys, I’m having intolerable impostor syndrome this week.

I was miserable getting the last stripe on my BJJ blue belt because I barely feel like a blue belt, let alone a purple belt. I’m still on the fence about whether I’m excited for promotion day or dreading it.

And just now KJN texted me and my testing partner to ask if we would want to sit at the judges’ table on Friday and grade the first degree candidates. And my gut reaction is like, no, the first degree candidates are my teammates! But this is my KJN asking, it’s a fucking honor and I can’t really say no?

My testing partner has a good excuse to say no, her daughter is a first degree candidate and you can’t grade someone and watch the other testers at the same time.

I’m going to feel like such a fraud sitting at that table with all of my mentors looking out at the absolutely incredible crop of first degree candidates on Friday.

Someone out there please offer me insight lol.

Keith’s Bayard

Ok, so I was starting to so some plotting for Keith week and asked my partner to do some ref poses for me.  He always does anything for where I want to include a weapon cause his old Taekkyeon teacher was insane and made sure his students could defend against everything bare handed.  This results in a ref machine that knows how like every weapon ever is used at least basically. 

So I show him Keith’s bayard and its not a sword guys.

I repeat Keith’s bayard is not a sword.  It’s a katar. 

Would normally be shorter for punching, but the slashing is the same.

Just watch  this video.  The tester even moves like Keith.


So this could be considered nitpicky.  Why does it matter?  Big pic, it doesn’t much.

But the bayard is supposed to reflect the owner isn’t it?

A sword is a very useful tool.   It’s not just a weapon for killing other people.  It’s a tool for defense as well as attack.  Still a very violent use, but it isn’t exclusively used for slaughter.  It’s also very symbolic for humans.  Heraldry, dress uniforms, sports, ceremonies, we use swords all over.  They can bring to mind things like honor and valor as well as power, dominance and violence.

A katar isn’t those things.  It’s for attack only.  No real defense capabilities. It’s an assassins’ weapon.  It is only for killing people. It hasn’t really developed much of a cultural identity as a weapon.  Aggression is it’s primary attribute.

So Keith’s weapon is a brutal tool meant to do nothing but kill other people that you are up close and personal with.  It’s an over sized punching blade. (Like way over-sized…that length with that grip, talk about some weird leverage problems, but I’m not even going to touch that…the physics do not work)

So I wonder if the animators deliberately wanted this? How many people are familiar with this weapon?  Was it on purpose, did they expect us to only see it as a sword?  Is it possible they don’t know about katar’s either?  Am I over thinking this?