watch me do this one like once every week and then once every month until i forget and never finish

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends 

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

  • There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
  • Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
  • Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
  • If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
  • But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
  • If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
  • Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 
  • Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 
  • Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
  • Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
  • Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
  • Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
  • Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
  • Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

  • If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 
  • But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
  • You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
  • If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
  • Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.

Organization

  • Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
  • There’s so much space under your bed. UTILIZE IT.

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How to Kill the MCAT in 5 Weeks

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of posting these past few months. It’s been a whirlwind, with schoolwork, starting to apply to medical school (HCEC >__>), studying and taking the MCAT, writing an honors thesis, preparing another manuscript for publication, etc. I’m happy to say that I’m (mostly) back and will be trying to answer all of your questions! But this post is mostly dedicated to how I studied and prepared for the MCAT. While a lot of people spend months preparing for the exam, I didn’t start studying until the beginning of winter break and spent only 5 weeks (albeit a brutal 5 weeks) preparing for the exam. Scores were released yesterday, and I’ll just say that I’m very happy with my score. I’ll be discussing many aspects of how I prepared, and hopefully it’ll help someone out there.

1. Classes

If you really think about it, studying for the MCAT should really just be review. You’ve learned 95% of the material in your classes before, so re-learning it shouldn’t be as hard as the first time. In my opinion, the new MCAT really favors students who work in research labs since there are a lot of passages that require data interpretation. The exam seems also to focus heavily on biochemistry. I was lucky and took biochem just this past fall, along with another course called “Nutrition and Disease” (NS4410). Surprisingly, a lot of the content in NS4410 ended up being on the MCAT as well. Having taken biochem so recently, most of it was fresh in my head so it was not nearly as difficult to learn as it should have been. Realistically, you probably will only really remember material from classes you took from the past year - anything past that you’ll likely have to re-learn. My recommendation would be to take biochemistry right before the exam, since it is such an important component on the MCAT and you want it fresh in your mind. What is on the MCAT is really just a watered down version of all your premed classes - don’t forget that. It may seem like a monster to study for, but all the knowledge is somewhere in your brain - you just have to dust it off.

2. Study Materials

Personally, I am a self-studier. I’ve never done well with prep courses. I don’t really know why, but for some reason I think there’s always a part of me that feels like I’m getting ripped off since they are so expensive. There’s no reason you can’t self-study, especially since that’s what you do during the school year. As for me, I decided to go with the full set of books from ExamKrackers (EK) and Kaplan, which together totaled around $350 (vs. a $2000 Kaplan course). EK, in my opinion, is great because they explain everything so well and succinctly and are able to cover 95% of what is on the exam in half the length of other prep material. EK splits each book into chapters, and each book consists of anywhere from 4-7 chapters (each 60-70 pages long). For example, chemistry (organic and inorganic were combined) had 7 chapters and consisted of around 450 pages of content. The organic chemistry book alone for Kaplan, on the other hand, was 400 pages (general chemistry was ~600 pages). Since I was trying to get through all of the content within 2-3 weeks, EK was great because it was so short. EK also had practice passages in the back, which aren’t the same as the actual exam (they’re a bit more difficult) but are good for practice. I used Kaplan mostly for practice, since the full book set also came with online materials (including 3 full length tests). What I didn’t like about Kaplan was how long it was (as I mentioned before) and how detailed it went. They seemed to focus much more on facts unlike EK which focused on concepts. I also bought both full-length tests from AAMC (which together cost $60).

The one comment I have is about the psychology and sociology section is that I felt neither really adequately covered what I was tested. I had bought the Kaplan books because I heard they covered the psych/soc sections much better, but in the end there were a ton of terms on the actual test that weren’t covered in the books. I think this will improve as time goes on and more tests are released, as the test companies will get a better understanding of what is actually on the test.

3. Study Schedule

I set a very strict schedule for myself. I began studying the day after I got home from my last final. I studied every single day of winter break, 10-12 hours a day for 5 weeks straight (there were about 3 days [holidays] where I only studied ~4 hours). It’s brutal and takes discipline, but for me, this was the right decision since I knew spreading it out over the course of 3 months would be excruciating and I wouldn’t be able to retain the information as well. I promised myself that I would work through 2 chapters of EK each day, which is around 120-140 pages of content and I thought was very reasonable (I’m also a bit of a slow reader). At this rate, I was able to finish all the content in 2.5 weeks. After going through all the material, I took a single full-length practice test from Kaplan. The next day, I reviewed the test and spent the next week and a half going over every single subject again (doing 1 subject, like physics, every day). This entailed redoing all the practice passages in EK, all the book problems in the Kaplan books, and all the practice online passages for Kaplan that pertained to that subject. I spent the entire last week doing the other passages (the remaining 2 full-length Kaplan and the 2 full-length AAMC). I did a test every other day, and every day in-between I would go over the previous day’s test. On days that I did tests, I would watch a movie afterwards (as a reward for having just taken a 7.5 hour test), eat, and then go straight to sleep.

4. Practice

The best way you can study is practice. A realization I had while studying for the MCAT was that this, like many other standardized tests, is one that can be learned. There are very obvious patterns to questions (especially in CARS), and EK was great at giving you pointers for choosing the right answer. It’s tricky because something as simple as a single word could mean that an answer is wrong. So much of the MCAT is strategy and endurance, so be sure to take multiple full-length tests. Diversifying your study materials will help you adapt to different types of tests. For me, CARS was my weakest section, and I needed tons of additional help on it. I used Khan Academy’s free materials (they have 50+ passages you can practice on). Also be sure to review answers you got right (and why you got them right) in addition to the answers you got wrong. The two AAMC full-length tests are very good predictors of how you will do, in my opinion. There aren’t many full-length tests out there, so treat them preciously. Once you take one, you can’t really take it again as if it were “new.” It’s important that you don’t take a full-length test until you finish reviewing all the material at least once because there’s really no point in taking it if you’re going to get a bunch of questions wrong. On days that you take full-length tests, try to emulate test day. Go to sleep early the night before, wake up early, eat breakfast, find a quiet spot you can work for several hours, and begin your test before 8AM. Do NOT go on your phone or on the internet during your breaks. Treating the test as if it were real helps with mental preparation for the actual test along with time management.

To put things in perspective, I scored a 506 on my full-length Kaplan test, which was 2.5 weeks before my actual test. Following a week of review of all the content, I scored another 506 on a Kaplan test (which was pretty discouraging). I next took the scored AAMC test, which I scored a 513 on. I took another Kaplan test and scored a 510, and my final AAMC test I scored ~518 (it’s not scored, but that’s the approximate score according to the percentages). Improvement can be quick and drastic when you’re taking multiple full length tests.

5. Test Day

How you treat test day plays a large part in how well you will do. This is where taking practice tests and treating it like the real thing helps. For me, I had been taking practice tests for the entire week so it was kind of like just waking up and taking another practice test. Trust that you’re prepared, even if you don’t 100% feel it (no one ever feels 100% prepared going into these tests!). I went to bed early, but was pretty nervous and woke up a few times during the night. I didn’t feel particularly tired, however, and I felt surprisingly calm going into the testing center (besides the normal level of nerves). I know it’s easy to say “stay calm” when it feels like your future is on the line, but just take a deep breath every time you feel your heart beat getting a bit faster. Mentality is everything. There will be a surprising amount of security at the test center, but just roll with it. The testing center will have noise cancelling headphones, but since you’re in a pretty quiet room I didn’t find them necessary (I actually put them on for a second but found them to be quite uncomfortable, and I had been studying at a noisy Barnes & Noble so I was used to any noise). People may be coming in and out of the room (quietly), so try to request a computer farther away from the door. Once you start, just let your instincts take over. You’ve been preparing for this - you know how to do it, you’ve just spent weeks/months studying!

Here’s my biggest piece of advice: realize that every single question on that test has an answer and can be answered. If you read a question and are very confused because nothing in your studies covered the topic, then the answer is in the passage. The MCAT will NOT give you a question that cannot be answered. If the question seems to be discrete but you just seemingly can’t figure out the answer, refer back to the passage and look for the answer. It’s there! I promise!

At the end of the MCAT, you will have the option to void your score. Resist your temptation to void your score. No one ever feels good coming out of that test - it’s absolutely normal. You’ve worked so hard for the test - trust that your preparation was sufficient. Unless you actually like fell asleep and didn’t answer 50% of the test, do NOT void your score.

6. Post-MCAT

Congratulations! You’re done!!! Go and celebrate! Do something to take your mind off all things MCAT! I went and saw a broadway show with a friend, and it was amazing. The next month of waiting will be excruciating, but you’ll get through it! The day of score release, I had such bad anxiety the entire day (I had woken up at least 8 times the night before). When my score came out, the website crashed and I wasn’t able to see my score for over an hour (which was the worst). When I finally saw my score, however, I was ecstatic. All my hard work had paid off, and to be perfectly honest, I was crying tears of joy. If you’ve worked as hard as you can, then be confident that you’ll be happy too.

I hope this helps someone out there. I won’t post my score right now (perhaps after I get accepted somewhere), but I will say that my score will allow me to be competitive at the top 10 schools. The MCAT is intimidating, but it’s possible to crush it if you work hard. Put things in perspective: this is only the first of many tests you’ll have to take if you want to be a doctor. It’s just a stepping stone in your career, and you’ve already made it this far.

DS

All I Ask of You

Characters: Sam x Reader

Words: 2007 (1753 without lyrics)

Summary: The Reader gets paired with Sam on a specific project.

Italics is the reader singing. Bold is Sam singing. Bold and Italics are both singing.

Listen to All I Ask of You here.

This is for @nicolejones412 ‘s challenge!! I loved writing this, and I hope you all enjoy!

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Vanilla & Moonlight (Peter Maximoff x Reader)

Had a shitty day today, so I decided to write this in the hopes it would take my mind off things. I hope it has a positive effect on you all, as well. (I know this isn’t a headcanon, but I figured since it was Peter you would hopefully still like it. Love you! @v-writings 💚)

—————————————————————-

You had no clue what time it was & you didn’t care to find out. By the bright light illuminating from the moon & the soft glow of the stars, you guessed it was late, perhaps in the wee hours of the morning, but you didn’t give it much thought. You hadn’t given anything much thought for the past few days, especially not the time nor what day it was. You couldn’t even recall what month it was because all your thoughts & focus was elsewhere.

You could still smell the faint scent of vanilla & detergent radiating from your shirt, his shirt. The smell never left your nostrils, constantly being breathed into your lungs even when you were nowhere near him. It was a permanent reminder, both a curse & blessing; he was always there, but he could never leave.

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False Hope That Time Gives

Version 1/ Version 2/ Version 3

Characters: Jungkook & the reader

Words:1126

Genre: Angsty AF

Posted: Dec 24, 2016

The girl sat in her hospital bed, the sun beaming in the large window behind her, shining bright through the white linen curtains as she sat sketching out a random face that haunted her. Jungkook stood in the doorway, waiting with a new bouquet of flowers and a timer set for 7 minutes. He started it as his unsure feet walked toward the beautiful, broken girl.

His presence ad suddenly registered when he stood next to chair adjacent from her bed. “Oh Hello!” She smiled, happy to see another face in the plain room. He gave her a grin, “Hi…” his voice frail. Her smile never left as she asked, “Who are you?”. That question. That one god forsaken question, Jungkook dreaded with all of his body fell out of the lip of the love of his life, but he beared it and stated, “I’m Jungkook,” he sat in the chair and set the flowers on her bedside. “I-I’m your boyfriend,” he looked into her darling, confused eyes. “I-I have a boyfriend?” she tilted her head.

6 minutes

Jungkook gave her smile, “Of course you do silly, how could you forget?” he teased knowing full story of how she ended up in this building. He remembers everything…

“You don’t get it…” she  mumbled angrily in the passenger seat of the car. They were on their way back home from their 5  year anniversary dinner,and she was hoping that he would finally, finally, propose but instead she was greeted with the news of another 10 month tour, and still, no ring. “I don’t know why you keep bringing this up! I told you I’m not ready!” Jungkook gritted his teeth, trying to stay calm as he kept his eyes on the wet road. It had been raining all week.

“It’s been 5 years, JUNGKOOK!” she finally exploded. “How are you not fucking ready?!” “BECAUSE I’M FUCKING NOT! I DON’T WANT TO MARRY YOU-” “JUNGKOOK!” he never got to finish his statement, as the moment he turned his head to yell, was the same moment the light turned red. His eyes were blinded by the light oncoming truck on his girlfriend’s side. The last thing he saw that night were her terrified eyes that would forever be carved in his memory.  If only, she could have kept hers.

It was all his fault and Jungkook knew it, he felt it everyday, lived it every second.

4 minutes

“What’s wrong?” she asked, stopping herself from telling him a story she has already told before to acknowledge him falling tears. He quickly wiped them with the sleeve of his hoodie. “No-Nothing, don’t worry. It’s nothing,” he reassured her. Once they were all gone he gave her his best smile. “What were you saying? About the dress?” he asked to get her mind off of his tears. “Oh, yeah! It was so perfect! I thought ‘One day I will wear something that beautiful to my wedding’”. Jungkook was fully prepared to buy that dress and every one around it, if this had not happen when she was 8. He listened silently, and waited for her to ask. “But, you’re my boyfriend right?! What are we like?!” she asked excitedly. “Do we live together? And-And do we have matching clothes? Oh, do you carry me everywhere and come to my soccer games?”

She didn’t play soccer anymore.

She set aside her sketch book to fully turn toward him, sitting with her shins touching him knees. Before he had a chance to answer, a sudden blush covered her face. She looked over to the flowers as she shyly asked. “Do-Do we kiss a lot?”

2 minutes

“Yeah, we do,” was all he said as he smiled up to her, eyeing the long scar that followed her hairline by the temple and curved back to her ear.  “We were really happy and I carried you everywhere.” She crinkled her nose “You did?”. He nodded and continued. “There was this one time we watched a really scary movie in our living room and you were too scared to walk to our room, so you made me carry you, and you didn’t let go for the rest of the night…” he trailed off. His eyes falling as he remembered. “There was another time where we had just bought our house, to finally get out of that small apartment. We ate ramen and milk for weeks to pay for the down payment,” he smiled looking at her tiny toes. “EEWWWW! I hate ramen!” she said in disgust, making Jungkook laugh. “I know.” He said.

Memories of them danced in his head, as he spoke more of them. The pain he held since the night of the crash twirled along with them. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, after the doctors told him of her memory lost, that he could still be by her side. He could help her remember him, them, their relationship that they built together, the years it took them to build it.

1 Minute

Even if he couldn’t get her to remember, he hoped they could start over again. THat this  time, he wouldn’t make all of the stupid mistakes he did before. He knew better this time. This time he would propose to her. They would get married, and have the most amazing honeymoon, to all of the places she wanted. They would have kids and raise them to be amazing like their mother, They would retire early because they could. They would be together until they were too old to move. And then they would die in each other’s arms.

30 Seconds

But that was all…

“J-jungkook?” a sudden wave of confusion covered her face, making he stopped speaking. THen her beautiful eyes widened in recognition. “JUNGKOOK?!” “Yes,” he said in a small voice. Her arms wrapped around him. “JUNGKOOK!” she cried. “I remember! I remember you! The house! The RAMEN, Jungkook, I do!!”. Tears leaked out of his eye uncontrollably. He stayed there, wanting, needing for time to stop so he could stay like this forever. So he could stay known to the one he loved to most…  

But the timer went off. 7 minutes were up. That was it. He felt she slowly remove herself from his grip, and stare deeply into his unwilling eyes. “Who are you?” That question. That one god forsaken question, Jungkook dreaded with all of his body fell out of the lips of the love of his life, once again. A sob escaped him, racking his chest, but he bared it, and looked back up to her and said. “I’m Jungkook,” his voice almost failing him. He intertwined their fingers to show their matching wedding bands. “I’m your husband.”


That was all false hope.

_____________

Sooooo, tell me if you liked it or no, and we’ll go from there. Oh, and tell me if there are any mistakes!!

Cold Christmas l Shawn Mendes Imagine

(a/n): hey there!!! I still can’t believe that you like my writing, i’m over the moon!. well, this imagine was requested and i loved it because i kind of can relate to it. and though i’ll name a specific continent, please feel free to change it to yours :) I hope you enjoy! :D. oh, and I have a masterlist now :D

prompt: (y/n) is used to hot weather in christmas, and she misses her home. but she loves Shawn.

Originally posted by forever-winter-wonderland

Canada was cold.

That wasn’t news to anyone, but it was different knowing it was cold than living in the middle of the snow and below zero degrees. Though once you were inside houses and public spaces, you couldn’t really notice the low temperatures because all of the heating and stuff, once you were outside there wasn’t a way to skip the cold. Though if you were being honest, you loved the cold weather since you were a kid, but that drastically changed as Christmas started to approach.

You were from South America, and December was a synonym of hot weather, doing Christmas shopping with t-shirts and denim shorts, wearing your bikini in case you were done with shopping earlier and could make a stop at the beach to ride out the hot temperatures. That was what you had known your entire life, and now, on Christmas Eve, you were replaying every moment with your friends where you complained about the hot weather, but now you’d give anything to feel the sun hitting on your skin.

Both your parents were teachers, but your dad had accomplished a lot of stuff back in your country, being called for conferences and important things, and your life quality had improved a lot. You finished school and were ready to head to university, and that was when your parents decided to tell you were moving to Canada. You weren’t very sure at first, and tried to make them change their minds and leave you there with your aunt or someone since they’d have to go back to your country at some point, but they both said it was likely that they were going to stay in Canada after the scholarship was over, since your mother already had a job there and so did your dad. You spent you last Christmas and New Year with your family and friends, and in the blink of an eye you were already landing in Toronto.

For you, January meant vacation. beach, pool parties, meanwhile here was the complete opposite. Though you did have a more months of vacation, since you had already finished school the only thing you had to do was to ratify your studies in order to enroll at the university of your choice. In the meantime, you found yourself getting to know your new neighborhood, you made new friends, including your neighbor, Aaliyah, who despite being a few years younger, turned out to be a box of surprises, being extremely funny, and she was by far the best person to watch Netflix with. You had learned that she had a brother named Shawn who was your age, and had a very promising career in music, which was why you had never seen him in the time you had been living in Pickering, until one day Aaliyah told you to come over to her house as usual, and there you found the most attractive guy you had seen in ages.

He had invited you to go along with his family to his concert in Toronto, and the rest was history. Every time he was home, he’d ask you to spend time with him, and you found yourself dropping everything you were doing in order to be with him. He had taken you in three dates in just one week in order to make the most out of his short visits, and he had kisses you for the first time in the middle of a storm… Those events had taken place almost five months earlier, and you had just completed your fourth month as boyfriend and girlfriend. You had only been able to fly to one of his concerts once since you were studying, but vacations were soon approaching, and so was his tour, meaning you were going to spend a lot of time flying around.

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Worst anniversary ever (James Potter x reader)

Request: (½) Hey can I request something like she is like bffs with Remus but is dating James. So every month you know they disappear for a night and usually it doesn’t bother her that much until it’s her and James’ anniversary. (2/2) So she waits up for them and when they all come in James try’s to calm her down (because you know you’d be pissed). She starts to ask a lot of questions as to where he was, why wasn’t he with her, etc. He tells here why he can’t. So she breaks up with him. You can decide the ending but I want FLUFF PLEASE.


“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” James asked, fiddling with your hands and avoiding your eyes.

“Of course.” You tilted your head, getting his eyes to refocus on your smile. “You need some time to just be with the Marauders again. It’ll be like a monthly guys night out. I hear married couples do that all the time.” 

His chuckle filled relief in your chest. 

“You’re incredible,” James said quietly. His eyes were tender as he brought his lips to yours. You ran your fingers up his neck and into his hair, satisfied when he hummed. The vibrations tingled your lips as you pulled apart. 

With a childish smile, you readjusted his glasses, which often slanted when you kissed. 

“Are you sure you guys only need one night every month?” you asked.

“Yes.” James declared with much more feeling than you expected. “I promise to make it up to you.” He smirked deviously and added, “Every other night of the month if you like.”

You snorted, “So you can distract me from even more of my studies? In your dreams.”

He pulled you closer and said, “Darling, you have no idea.”

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Heavenly Revenge

Part 1

Pairing: Family- Sam & Dean x Reader (Little Sister)

Word Count: 2230

Warning: Language, Descriptions of torture

A/N: As I promised, Part Two! Sorry that it’s a bit later than expected, my wifi sucks ass… 

Sam POV

The day I gave Dean turned into a week. And that week doubled, and tripled, until we were out of money and had to go home. It took us two days to get back and we still had no word from Cas on Y/N. Dean hasn’t stopped drinking since the night she disappeared. I had nightmares the first few nights, but eventually, I just didn’t sleep.

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1.) You could drag us through hell and we’d make it out alive, but if you let go while we stood on top of a flame; I’m not sure if I’d burn with you or drag you into another circle we can’t escape from. If you leave us here, don’t call. If you kept us breathing and it’s a miracle that we still love each other, are we still friends or just lovers who knew too much? Don’t text, don’t write. Bye.

2.) Learning all about you, but I already knew everything. Now? It’s all gossip about what they’re wearing and what funny videos can make us laugh the hardest. A shallow and hollow thing to love what is not ours and hate what is us. If you were all that I needed, I could stay… and I could love you until we died from old age, but we’re young and I think you taught me that people change. We’re no longer the same.

3.) Mirroring everything from the way we smiled to the way sentences were finished. Inside jokes of the sweetest beginnings. The love letters were always enough. If I held you hand and sensed a bit of tragedy, I wonder if you knew as well. Love was dying to end.

4.) Trust, the sad ship that didn’t know a storm would sink all things. If it gets broken and we both committed to see it through, it will never look the same. Like fast food left out for a week, it’s edible, but there isn’t much nutrition. That cigarette we put out, some things don’t hit as hard the second time around. The last time we made love, I’m certain you felt it in your heart. Promises don’t look the same if we broke our pinkies while making it. Don’t come running back to me, if my presence is all you need.

5.) Those tv shows, they were fun, right? You want to know what’s not? Watching it without you. How the episodes are a reminder of dead people and comedy doesn’t make us laugh; tears are for the regretful and hunny, I have plenty of it. Don’t you?

6.) We had our own language, secret spots we talked about going to, but there was never enough time. If I could hold the hands of time and slowed us down, could we return to being gentle? I miss your pretty smile, but it hurts me to see it as not mine. Your happiness comes first, so I’m glad you found a sweeter person to smile for. I’m sorry about the tears, but what’s mine will always be yours. Unfold with me.

7.) Getting lost inside of your thoughts, and seeing our differences really tore us apart. The more we got to know each other, the more we split up. Split ends catch on fire as much as rose thorns do. What’s that called again? Oh, right. Unrequited love. A love that was returning and selfish. We are torn, but we will survive this, I think.

8.) Some nights you did the crying, some nights I did. Did we ask for it? Probably not, but some nights we did. I know I wasn’t the best thing since poetry, but you weren’t. We still managed to keep it together, but some years I could swear we drowned. Some months I can hear your silence. Some weeks we’re back to the pools of hate. Some days, hell, everyday… I can still see your image as you held onto my fingertips that knew of us. The smell you left on my shoulders, a springtime I can’t forget. If you tore apart my heart, please stitch it back once you got what you came for. You’re in my head and the backspacing I did in some texts weren’t meant for you to read. Baby, I’m sorry. Forgive me some other time.

9.) Our little memories constantly on rewind as I’m still trying to remove my stained smile from the carpets of hell. If I wasn’t so splattered and the roses weren’t as bloody, I bet we could hold onto the tenderness of year one. Can you breathe? I hope so, because I can’t. You don’t know what you do to me.

10.) The time we walked to the park and talked about lovely nothings. A simple moment, the best kind. It’s the simple things that make up the complex details of an unsettling relationship. If you were all mine and I had more time to clean up my head, some lovers still need to die. We are as dead now as when we first kissed.

11.) Feelings of the first torch mankind held, that was us. If I had a bullet for every time you controlled an outcome, hell would be packed to the cell. I think we all have a bit of demons still crying to break out and make it home. If I was all yours and I didn’t love to yell, maybe we could still be friends. Maybe I could still call without saying sorry, maybe I could text you without crying and maybe I could love you without hating every bit of your silliness.

12.) Because you may not know love until you say I found my soulmate. I thought you were the one, hell, you might still be the one, but love was meant to break us. That’s how we grow. I picked up poetry because I ran out of ways to say I missed your smile today, funny, right? I don’t say it anymore, but if we still talked every day… hey, I miss your smile. I don’t want you to stay, I just wanted you to feel something. I hope you never get numb to the thoughts of us, like I have.

13.) Trying to forget you, yeah, that’s impossible. How can you forget an extension of your soul? That’s what you were. How can you not feel that long break in your heartbeat? That’s you too. How can I not love myself? You once defined us as something forever could love, something always planned, and we’re stardusts from the same sun. If I gave you what you need, you still picked yourself every time. I don’t blame you, I’d pick myself too.

14.) We never took enough pictures, we weren’t like the average couple. Going out to movies and nice dinners. Always out of time, the youthful love trying to grow up. We never did a lot of things except for creating more memories to overflow the mind. My brain is running out of room to breathe, to store, maybe that’s why I’m always up at night. Each poem is a memory slipping from my memories. I’m sorry, I’m slowly forgetting your hair color, the way you made that face when you were disgusted, the way you laughed because they were being stupid, the way your mom had you in chains, I’m forgetting your average eye color and that’s scaring the fuck out of me. I don’t remember your face without scrolling through old photos, that must be why they call it nostalgia. We’re dying, baby.

15.) You’re probably crying and reading this list or using your new technique to skim through this quickly. I’m sorry, it won’t be that easy to skip through my pain. You’re reading every word, every line, every number and I want you to know that each poem even if it’s not about you; you’re in every verse, every metaphor, every simile as if you were more than human. That’s how I make you feel, right? Like you were more. Here’s to that. You’ll feel like a bit more torn, more tears dripping from the corners of your eyes and I’m sorry, but those are as much mine as they are yours. We knew how to undress the body before we took care of the heart. That is our flaw. You followed without complaining and I played while being blind. If I said I love you now, you could still smell spring and its first rain.

16.) If you could breathe with him, I’m happy for you, I am. I could never give you that. I had anxiety around your family and even though they hated me, I still stuck around. Time doesn’t change hate, it doesn’t. Dear Nightingale, if you made it this far, I hope you can get away from traps of the mind and learn to live freely. Away from toxic lovers, demanding family ties and some poetry that can cast a spell. I wish you learn to fly without having to make a stop at every bridge. Some bridges burn brightest when we’re standing on it, I hope you can find true love one day even if it means you’re alone and it’s just you that you’ll love.

17.) I heard about our love within a dream and the best friends knew they’d fall in love. I was yours and you were mine, but controlling is what controlling does. We will be timeless and the stars may seem bright, but that’s the best part. It was never about us, it was about growing and letting go. If you made it this far without shedding one tear, I’m proud of you. That’s how we’ll grow from this. I know it has been months, but you’re still as much on my mind now as when we first ran into each other in Algebra.

18.) If we ever met as strangers, I hope every memory bites your cells and you succumb to the feelings because that’s how I am each night. You’ve always been too busy to smell the flowers. You have. I hope you learn to slow yourself down and enjoy the breeze. I hope you are hopeful and learn to breathe with him. I like him, I do. He’s different in every aspect, how couldn’t I love him? He’s everything I kind of want to be.

19.) True love was never for us. We should’ve stayed as friends. Planetary afflictions made the best lovers, but some writer’s block is impossible to write over. Some hearts stop during the a.m. Some lovers drop jaws and get restless once the dead comes back to life. I’m sorry, but love isn’t for everyone. What we had was bad, but love you, I did. If we could write another chapter, I’d leave it blank. Some friends weren’t meant to love.

20.) If I could hold your hand each night before I went to bed, if I held your curves gently and laid there breathing instead of sweating, if I knew how to kiss you with innocence instead of lust, if you weren’t beautiful in every angle and I wanted to frame that into my thoughts, if I was more heartfelt and more mature, if I knew how to handle candy with decisiveness and didn’t rot my teeth with your sweets, if I had less cracks and you didn’t slip into every single one, if I whispered instead of yelling, if I was a better lover…

I wouldn’t have to write any of this.
I’m sorry, I still love you.
I hope you don’t hate me,
best friend of mine.

—  20 reasons as to why you should fall in love with your best friend and… why you also shouldn’t.
As fate would have it

It´s been about twelve years since Hiyori last saw Yato. Twelve years since he cut ties with her. With tears in his eyes he explained that it was all for her sake so she could finally start to live a normal life.
What he didn´t know back then was that their ties could never be cut.

Hiyori remembered everything about him, Yukine and the far shore.
At the time Yato and she parted ways Hiyori was already pregnant with a baby girl that grew up knowing nothing about her father.


Chapter 2 - A stranger in a tracksuit 

Words: 1057

| Read on AO3 |  ;  | < previous chapter

Main Characters:


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Linda Watson

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Holy shit.

So this is a box I found that was hidden in a mall for presumably ~6 months by now. Aside from the latch, there were rubber bands keeping the box shut. Inside the box is a bundle of tightly-folded pieces of paper. It is a story/recollection written by a 19-year-old girl who has apparently killed a random person just because she was wondering what it would be like. According to the paper, she wrote this just a few hours after the murder and that I am the first person to read it.

So yeah, I doubt I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

Anyway, I typed up the entire story because I seriously need to share this. Here it is.

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4

Original Request: An imagine where Dean leave the reader for Lisa and she walk away? And then he discover himself thinking about her always? So he tries to get the reader back but she is now a demon cause the night she left make a deal to stop feeling the pain? 



  „No, no, you know why? Because every damn time I see you, I think of Sammy. I can’t do this anymore“, Dean yelled, his face dead-serious.

Outraged you stood up from your chair, facing him.

„So, you just want me to leave, while you have a nice and happy life with Lisa? Is that it?“
You couldn’t believe what he had just told you. After all you had been through, after all you had survived together, he just wanted to leave.

„Dean, are you sure this is still about Sam?“, you asked. „I miss him, too, you know.“ You tried to look him in the eyes, but he kept on avoiding your gaze.
„Because if you don’t love me, just tell me. If you really love her more than you love me, then tell me, so I can get the fuck out of here and stop wasting my time with you.“
For a few seconds it was silent, before Dean took a deep breath, finally looking at you.
But instead of explanations, instead of any kind of reasonable discussion, he just repeated the sentence with which everything had began.
„I will go to Lisa and Ben.“
Completely furious, you blinked away your tears. You would not show weakness. Not in front of him.
„Goodbye, Dean“, you shouted , before just storming out of the motel.
You didn’t have a car, you didn’t have money. The only things you had were your weapon, and two fake credit cards, you had found in the pockets of your jacket.
„Will have to do“, you murmured, before walking away from the motel, away from Dean, at last letting the tears run down your face.




DEAN’S POV


He had been with Lisa for a few months now. But the more time had passed, he thought more and more about (y/n). He knew it had been a mistake to leave, especially like this. His conscience stung him terribly.
Just like he couldn’t forget hunting, monsters and demons, he could not forget her.

He loved Ben and Lisa. He really did. But he loved her, too. In a completely different way.
It had been stupid to leave. Dean asked himself every day anew, why he had left her, even though he already knew the answer.
His life had been a mess, with his brother in hell, and he just wanted to get away from everything.
Including her.

And now he was angry. Angry at those damn angels, angry at everything that brought him here, but most of all, he was angry at himself. He had managed to do it again.
The one person who would have been able to get him through all of this, had been (y/n). And he had left her.


And this was the day he had packed his stuff, and went away, out searching her.

Dean felt horrible for leaving her and Ben like this. He should have never come in the first place. It was like an endless repition with them. He came, just to leave again. He gave them hope, gave Ben someone to rely on, only to drive away again a few months later. But the longer he stayed, the harder it would become to leave. Staying would be better for Ben. But it felt wrong to him, to stay, while his mind was somewhere else completely.
That was not what they deserved. Ben and Lisa deserved so much better than what he had to offer to them, with his thoughts filled with (y/n).

So, after a heavy argument with Lisa, he got into his Impala and just drove off.

Dean had tried to call (y/n) several times in the last weeks, but she hadn’t answered a single one of his calls. Every motel he checked in, he looked for any sign of her. Names, cases, anything.
But to his great exasperation, his search remained unsuccessful.
The country was big, and if she didn’t want to be found, she knew how to do it.
Finally Dean had called Bobby, who reluctantly had given him the information he needed. According to Bobby she had been silent for a few months, until one day she had called him, just to tell him she was alright. Dean somehow knew that this wasn’t everything, but Bobby did not seem to be too fond of telling more.

„Something is not right with her“, Bobby had said. „Look out for her.“

Since the first time she had called, Bobby had talked to her at least once every month.
Hence, he knew where to find her.
And soon enough, Dean was on his way to Austin, Texas.


Dean was sure, that this was the most dirty motel he had ever seen. Alone by looking at it, he could feel the dust mites climbing over his skin.
She had used a false name, still, Dean knew her well enough to recognise her aliases. After the receptionist – who seemed to find his porno magazines far more interesting than his customers – had surprisingly given him willingly her room number, Dean went upstairs, to knock on her door.

Before he could even finish this action, he heard the noise of a turning lock, and through the already slightly rotten door, he could hear her muffled voice. Oh, how he had missed her voice. „Come in.“

Slowly Dean opened the door, to find her in the dirty room, knife in her hands. She looked tired, exhausted, somehow older than when he had first left her.

In the next second he could hear the knife falling down to the floor, as she realised who had just come inside her room.


READER POV

„You should go.“
Dean looked at you, completely disbelieving. „No“, he said, not moving an inch.
You just shrugged. „Why not? Worked the last time, too.“
Dean clenched his teeth. You definitely had the right to be furious at him.
„Because I need you, (y/n).“ Immediately you scoffed.

„I don’t think that you do. I think it’s quite the opposite, Dean.“ You had turned your back to him, watching the dust dancing freely in the light that shone through the dirty window instead.
„Suddenly you need me.“ You laughed dryly at the irony in this. „But you know, maybe it’s too late for that now.“
Dean grabbed your shoulder and swung you around hard. You cursed yourself. You hadn’t even realised that he had come closer.
„Do not say that“, he said dangerously slow, looking into your eyes, searching for an answer.
„I know I fucked up, and I know this is not the first time. I don’t expect you to forgive me right now, I just thought-“

„Fuck off, Dean.“ You tried to get away, but he grabbed your arm. „You know what? Be mad at me however long you want, but I’m not going away. Not this time around.“
Instead of an answer, you scoffed stubbornly, shoving your arm away from his grip and trying harder than you wanted to admit to keep your tears from escaping.
Slowly you closed your eyes, breathing deep. Steadily you got ready for what would come next. For when you opened them again, the colour of your eyes had vanished and yielded a dark black.
Immediately Dean backed away.

„You’re a demon?“ Again you blinked, turning your eyes back to your normal (e/c) colour.
You nodded, looking straight at him. You were almost surprised by how cold you felt on the inside.

„Yes, Dean.“
Dean didn’t seem to understand. How could he. You had needed quite some time yourself.

„But, why? What happened?“
„You happened, Dean!“ Like that, you lost your cool once more, hands running frustratingly through your hair, you tried to convey how much he had hurt you through your gaze. Dean’s facial expression became unbelieving, his mouth stood slightly agape.
„You happened.“ Your voice had become quiet and your eyes trailed to the floor.
„The night you left me, Dean, I was fucking dead in the water, okay?“
You lifted your gaze, so you could look directly into his eyes.
„Losing Sam was not just hard for you, okay?“ Dean closed his mouth, clenching his jaw.
„In less than a week I lost all the family that I had left. I needed you, Dean. But you weren’t there anymore.“ You swallowed down your uprising anger to calm your voice, before speaking on. This time your voice was quiet, nearly achieving a controlled and businesslike tone.
„So I made a deal.“

„A deal?“ Finally Dean broke of his silence. „How could you do that? What the hell went through your head?“

„Look who’s talking.“ Dean didn’t dwell on this, but instead ran a hand roughly through his hair. „What kind of deal?“

„I wanted to stop feeling the pain“, you stated dryly.
Dean nodded, his face belied. „So you chose the cowards way.“

You flinched at his hard words, your anger welling up at the accusation.
„I chose the cowards way, Dean? And what did you do? You ran away. You ran away, and you know it.“ You said in a voice dripping with hurt. You hated how you kept showing him how much influence he’d had on you when it had taken him nothing to leave, but everytime you recalled that moment, that one moment when you felt like the world had stopped spinning for you and joy was a feeling that would never reach your heart again you couldn’t help it.
You turned around, taking a deep breath. „But, yeah. If you want to see it like that, then I chose the cowards way.“
„Did it work?“

Now it was your time to clench your jaw. „Let’s say, I had enough pain to distract me from this one. I was in hell, Dean. You know what they like to do with people that are friends with the Winchesters.“

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I know.” He turned his back at you, looking at the door. You knew that he would react like this. And you knew you would have reacted the same way if it would be him having made the deal.

“I can’t believe you did this”, he suddenly said into the silence. His voice sounded extremely exhausted. Wearily, he turned back to you, opening and closing his mouth, as if he were searching for words, but just couldn’t find the right ones.
“Neither can I”, you finally whispered back. You were looking straight at him. Suddenly a strong feeling of sadness – and even worse regret – overwhelmed you. You had never wanted this to happen.

Slowly Dean stepped closer, running a hand through his hair. „We can fix this“, he finally said, his voice hoarse, his eyes searching your face.
„Yeah? And how?“
Dean shook his head. „I don’t know. But we always found a way, (y/n), this time we will, too.“
„How can you be so sure“, you asked, but quickly found a more important question. „How do I know that you won’t run off again?“
Slowly Dean wrapped his arms around you. He pressed you against his chest, letting you rest there, letting you feel that he meant it.
„I can’t lose you again. I was an idiot, a complete asshole. Sammy was gone, I couldn’t think straight, okay? I just wanted to get away from all this. But I never really wanted to get away from you.“
You turned around to look at him. He was still holding you, your hands rested on his chest. You searched for his gaze, that this time, did not avoid yours.

And finally you couldn’t help yourself anymore but to start sobbing heavily.
God, you had missed him.
Tightly he pulled you closer against his chest, whispering in your ear, until you calmed down again.
„We can do this. And we will. Together.“



requested by @lachicadelamanzana
Here you go, love :)

The Soldier’s Toy Part 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 2547

Category: Fluff, angst 

Warnings: kinda cute, then kinda not cute, kinda dark I guess, one swear word, torture (but not too much detail), Alexander Pierce is still a douche, Winter Soldier!Buck (but still more confused and less murdery), 

Summary: HYDRA’s plan is working as you and the Winter Soldier grow closer and try to protect one another.

Your name: submit What is this?



“You, up,” a guard enters the cell you are being held in. When they take you from James, they leave you alone in a cell. You stand, though not fast enough apparently, because he reaches over to yank you to your feet. You roll your eyes to yourself, stumbling along next to him. You feel the muzzle of a gun press into your back as you walk. That’s how they move you now, always with a weapon on your back. He leads you down the hall to the room they keep James in.

Keep reading

To the Girl He Loved After Me

I think you’re really pretty.

I used to hate thinking you were really pretty.

I used to wish you were plain; I used to wish you were boring.

I used to wish you had dead bodies in your closet or that your Instagram photos weren’t so freakin’ cute.

Because maybe then he wouldn’t have chosen you.

But a few months ago, I had a life altering realization.

And that is why I’m writing this letter.

I’ve been wanting to have this conversation with you for a while because I feel that I owe you an explanation as to why I was in love with your love for so long.

I know he’s yours now.

But he was once mine.

And we were once happy.

For six months, I was the one who lifted him up and made him feel like a little kid. I was the one racing him down sidewalks and watching him scream I love you at the top of his lungs. I was the one wearing his high school t-shirts and sleeping next to him every other night. I was making him happy.

I was his.

Because you weren’t there.

He had never said your name before.

He had no idea that you even existed.

And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy the days when you were nonexistent.

The months before I heard your name for the first time were the most beautifully tragic months I’ve ever lived through.

I remember the way he looked at me after he heard me sing for the first time. He counted how many times we made eye contact that night and it turned out to be about 30 times… We were kind of ridiculous like that.

I remember when I held his hand for the first time. We were watching a movie in my dorm room when he held his hand out and asked me to lie down next to him. I threw a pillow at his face because I was so embarrassed and shy… but after his third attempt, I took his hand anyway.

I remember when he accidentally told me he loved me almost every single day after we’d been dating for two weeks. I’d say something funny and he’d reply, “Ah… and that’s why I love you.” Then he’d run away screaming, “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT PRETEND I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!“

I remember the moment I thought I realized he was not the guy I was going to end up with.

I remember being wrong.

I remember watching our love tailspin to rock bottom when I became insecure with the relationship and demanded unrealistic things from him.

I remember leaving him.

I remember regretting it.

I remember feeling so far away from God because I believed He had taken the only true love I’d ever experienced away from me like He was tearing skin from the bone.

I remember not leaving my bed for three months.

I remember hearing your name for the first time.

I remember crying.

A lot.

I remember the bad months just as much as the good months.

And I honestly can’t tell you which ones hurt more.

I sometimes wish I would forget all the sweet facts that make up who he is as a person.

But I memorized them as I’m sure you have.

We both know he’s an introvert who tries exceptionally hard to be an extrovert. We both know he loves capes for some reason. We both know he suffers from occasional crippling anxiety. We both know how much he loves milk. We both know he loves pulling pranks but is also terrified of getting in trouble because he’s a good boy at heart. We both know that he h8s h8ers. And we both know his darling mother means more to him than either of us ever could.

We both know him fairly well.

You more so than I.

But then again, you held his hand much longer than I did.

I never so strongly believed in a love like I believed in him.

He was the one.

Was.

Not too long ago, I moved on and I now believe in a new love.

A steadier love.

And I truly believe there is more than one person out there in the world that we are meant to be with.

Because if there’s only one, then wow, we’re all screwed.

So if I’m no longer in love with him… why did I decide to write this?

Because I want you to know that I feel no resentment toward you.

And that I just really hope you make him happy.

Because that is all I ever wanted to give him.

Happiness.

His happiness meant more to me than my own. I was unable to give him the happiness he needed.

And it almost killed me.

But I hope in the end everything works out better for you.

And I hope you get to be with the love of our lives because you really do deserve to be happy.

I hope that if you ever decide to leave, he’ll love you enough to stop you at the door and kiss you until you decide to stay.

I hope you turn around and promise that you’ll never leave his side.

I hope you don’t make the same mistake I did.

I hope you stay.

Because one of us has to.

And it’s much too late for me.

I hope your love lasts much longer than ours ever did, and I hope you don’t see me as his ex-love who is resentful because I no longer carry his heart around.

I’m merely the girl who was meant to love him right before you came along.

And even though I didn’t know that for a very very long time (I may not have known it until I finished writing this letter), I know it now. And it’s a role I’m not ashamed to play.

Because at least I got him for six months.

At least I had enough time to memorize him completely.

At least I have his love safe in my heart so I can revisit it whenever I miss him.

I do miss him.

A lot sometimes.

But I’m always reassured with the beautiful fact that he has you.

And you won’t leave him.

And that is why I wrote this for you.

Because I think you’re really pretty, and I think it may in fact be forever between you two.

And if you were meant to be his life long love story,

Then I’m just happy to be the prologue.

Love,

The girl he loved before you

.

—  Becca Tremmel
I Believe in You (NaLu One-Shot Fanfiction)

Dedicated to one of my good friends Missy who was feeling a little sad today. So proud of her for getting through it and getting baptized on Sunday! Love you Missy. Never give up!

Summary: “Wherever you go, whatever you do, I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

__________________________________________________________

“So, you really have to go?” The blonde sadly said as she watched her boyfriend of 3 years getting dressed in his camo uniform. The pinkette sighed. “Yeah Luce, unfortunately I do.” At his answer, Lucy’s frown deepened.

“I see…” Lucy looked down to the blue blanket that covered her bare body. Natsu sadly looked  at his girlfriend and walked over to the bed they both shared. He took his hand and lifted up Lucy’s chin to look into her brown eyes. “Luce, don’t you want to see us off? It might.. be awhile until you see me again.” Lucy’s watery eyes looked into his black orbs and simply nodded.

__________________________________________________________

Clinging on to her boyfriend for dear life, Lucy began sobbing into his chest while Natsu shed his own tears into the crook of her slim neck.

“Last call for the Magnolia Army to flight 72.” Natsu felt Lucy stiffen in his arms and held her tighter.

“I gotta go Luce.” Natsu said as calmly as he could even though his voice cracked a bit. He quickly glance at his comrades, who were also having a hard time saying good to their lovers. Natsu was slightly glad that the four girls decided to stay together while they were away to keep peace of mind and to find comfort in one another. The pinkette pushed Lucy back again and captured her lips in a soft kiss. “I love you so so much Lucy.” Lucy sniffled.

“I love you too, Natsu.” Natsu pulled her back into a bone crushing hug. “Never ever EVER forget how much I love you Luce. I’ll write letters, I’ll Skype when I can, call when I can.” He pushed her back once again. “Just.. don’t ever forget me if-”

“Stop it Natsu.” Lucy said sternly. “You’re going to be fine, I believe in you.” Natsu smiled sadly at her words. “You’re right, sorry Lucy..” Natsu jumped a bit when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Time to go man.” It was Gray and Natsu knew it was time, but all he could do was pull Lucy in another bone crushing hug.

“I love you. Wait for me.”

“I love you too Natsu, I’ll always be right here waiting for you.”

__________________________________________________________

Its been a full 6 months since she’s seen her pink haired lover but she received letters from him once a week and Skyped with his about once every two weeks as did the other girls. They all moved in with each other for the time being when their boyfriends were away to give each other comfort. Lucy had her good and her bad days just like all the girls did, but they did receive some good news. The war their boyfriends went to was about to end and they were all going to be sent home soon. All the girls were elated by the news and were anxiously awaiting the return of their boyfriends.

__________________________________________________________


Lucy sighed as she watched all her friends hugging and kissing their boyfriends. Gray, Gajeel, and Jellal were all sent back but Natsu had not been. They explained to Lucy that Natsu was forced to stay back because he was the only person who could successfully retrieve an item their ary unit desperately needed to win the war. Lucy began to get a little worried, but still she believed Natsu would still come back to her, safe and sound.

She’d always believe in Natsu.

__________________________________________________________

It had been another 4 months, equalling in a total of 10 months since she’d seen Natsu, and 4 months since she’s received a letter from him. But still, Lucy still kept believing in him, even though it was starting to get hard.

She sighed and walked down the street recalling memories of her and Natsu. The place where they went on their first date. The place where they first kissed. The place he first confessed to her. All the memories were painfully coming back to her as she walked to Erza and Jellal’s home for their annual Halloween Party. This was the first year she’s ever went alone. She was dressed as a Greek Goddess with a white toga dress that showed an ample amount of cleavage with a fake crown of thorns around her blonde curly hair.

Walking inside the front door Lucy looked around to see many elaborate costumes. Jellal and Erza were dressed up as policeman. Gray and Juvia were dressed up at angels. Gajeel and Levy were dressed up as cat and mouse. There were just so many cute couple costumes, which made Lucy even more depressed. Her and  Natsu came up with the best couple costumes and they usually won the contest every year. This year though, for obvious reasons, she lost her creativity and just went with a simple theme knowing she wasn’t going to win this year.

As the night progressed Lucy talked with friends she had not seen in a long time. Whenever they asked about her a Natsu Lucy’s eyes instantly dulled and she excused herself from the conversation earning worried stares from her friends. Lucy’s interest peaked up when she heard Erza’s commanding voice over the speakers.

“Alright maggots listen up! It’s time to announce the winner of the costume contest!” When the scarlet haired woman finished her sentence the crowd went wild with cheering wondering who would get it.

“And the winner is… Lucy Heartfillia!” The crowd was going wild when the spotlight hit Lucy and the blonde instantly blushed at the sudden attention she received. How on Earthland did she win? She wasn’t trying to be creative at all but she still walked on to the stage next to her red haired friend and put on her usual fake smile she put on after Natsu left. Lucy couldn’t even think as she felt a familiar pair of muscular arms wrap around her waist.

“Ready for your prize?” Natsu huskily whispered into her ear and Lucy swore her heart stopped when she heard his voice again. She shakily turned her head to look at the man she hadn’t seen in 10 months.

“…Natsu?” Natsu smiled gently at her turning her around and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Yeah baby girl, I’m back.” He said before lowering his lips gently onto hers. Lucy’s mind didn’t register anything until he pulled back. Her eyes began to spill tears.

“Natsu!” Lucy screamed and threw her arms around his neck ignoring the cheers of the crowd and only focusing on the man in her arms. “I always believed you’d come back.”

Natsu smiled against her hair before placing a peck on the crown of her head. “Thanks for waiting for me weirdo.”

The blonde smiled into his chest before responding. “Idiot, wherever you go, whatever you do, I’ll always be right here waiting for you.”

__________________________________________________________

Sooo the message of the fanfiction was to never give up in what you believe in even though its hard because someone is always going to be there to get you through it. Don’t ever stop believing in what you think is real guys. Hope you enjoyed reading it! And feel better Missy even when times are tough remember you always have God, your friends and your family. I love you!

Fighting: Michael
Okay, so this is really long, idk I just started writing and it came to me, okay I hope you like it! Sorry for the length! - Other boys: Luke Calum Ashton **Also, I do not think Ashton would act like this at all. ~~~~ You roll over and stare at the clock. 3:03 AM. You sigh and roll to your back, staring at the ceiling. You reach over and grab your phone, nothing. You go on twitter and gasp. There, right on your feed, are 4 pictures of your boyfriend, Michael Clifford, out at a club with some red haired girl with bright green eyes, over and over. They’re laughing really hard and leaning towards each other in the first one, in the second she’s smiling up at him while he talks to a reporter, the third one shows his arm wrapped around her shoulder and hers wrapped around his waist in a group picture with loads of people you’ve never met, and in the fourth she has her hand on his lower back while he shakes some random guys hand. Your eyes fill with tears as you click the screen off and put your phone back on the table. You take a deep, shaky breath and roll onto your stomach, silently crying into your pillow. You must have drifted off, because when you wake up, Michael is stumbling around the room, trying, and failing, to be quiet. You look at the clock. 5:37 AM. You bite your lip and roll so that your back is to him, crying again. You feel the bed dip on Michael’s side, and you feel him wrap his arm around your waist and cuddle into you. He whispers, “I love you.” and buries his face in your hair. You pull his arm from your waist and gently push him away from you as you sit up and climb out of bed. “I think it’s best if I go stay with Julia.” You say, walking towards the dresser, about to pack to go to your friends house. “What are you talking about?” He whines. “Babe, come back to bed.” “Why? So you and all of your friends can have a nice laugh at me next time you’re at the club with your pretty new girl friend?” You say, fighting tears. You hear Michael sit up. “(Y/n), what the fuck are you talking about?” He slightly slurs his words. He’s had a little too much to drink. “I’m talking about the pictures on twitter! The ones of you with that bitch!” You say venomously. “Who? Cassie? She’s not a bitch! Don’t call her that, you don’t even know her!” You turn to face him and yell, “OH, OF COURSE! Of course you’re defending your new girlfriend!” “She’s not my new girlfriend!” He yells. “Well, what is she, then? Your new fuck buddy? God, Michael, I actually thought you loved me! I’m so fucking stupid for believing you! I bet you and the boys and all of your friends from the damn club are laughing your asses off at me, huh?” You shout as tears stream down your cheeks. “(Y/n), of course I love you! What is fucking wrong with you? You see a few pictures and all of a sudden you’re fucking green with jealousy! You’re being such a fucking bitch!” “I’m being a bitch, really?” “EVERY ONE ELSE ACCUSES ME OF CHEATING! I THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND! I DON’T NEED THIS SHIT FROM YOU, TOO!” He gets out of bed and crosses his arms. “WELL, MICHAEL, YOU MAKE IT PRETTY DAMN HARD! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE OUT WITH A NEW GIRL EVERY WEEK! AND THAT WHOLE THING WITH THE BLONDE GIRL? YOU WERE GOING OUT TO LUNCH AND THE CLUB WITH HER AND YOU WERE TWEETING HER ON TWITTER CONSTANTLY! GOD, MICHAEL, I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU, BUT FUCK! YOU MAKE IT SO DAMN HARD!” You’re screaming your words now. “(Y/N)! THOSE GIRLS ARE ALL JUST FRIENDS!” “THEN WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU EVER INVITE ME OUT WITH YOU?” he stares at you confused. “Because, it’s not your thing.” “It’s not my thing? And how the hell would you know it’s not my thing if you’ve never ASKED ME!” “WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE, (Y/N)? ARE YOU THAT FUCKING INSECURE? JUST BECAUSE I HANG OUT WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN?” Your jaw drops and you stare at him. “What. The fuck. Did you just say to me?” He steps closer to you, so that your face is inches from his and you’re glaring up at him while he stares down at you. “You. Fucking. Heard. Me.” He snarls. You let out a screechy growl thing and shove him and push him away, then walk up to him and start hitting his chest and yelling, “WHAT DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? GOD YOU’RE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT! YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCK? YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCK! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" You’re sobbing by the end of the sentence. "Well, if you hate me so much, you can just leave.” Michael says. He picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. You start punching his back and kicking your feet. “MICHAEL CLIFFORD PUT ME DOWN!” You scream. When he sets you down, you’re outside of the apartment. “IF YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING ACT LIKE THIS YOU CAN JUST FUCKING LEAVE!” He yells, throwing your car key at you, then slamming the door. When you hear the click of the lock, you punch the door repeatedly and sob. “YOU’RE SUCH A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU, MICHAEL! FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! WE’RE DONE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! FUCK YOU!” The door across from yours and the door next to yours both open and the people start yelling. You give each of them a vicious glare and yell “I’M DONE NOW! SO FUCK OFF!” And you grab your key, then leave. You drive to Julia’s house and when she answers the door you begin to shake and sob uncontrollably.  ~~~~~~~~ It’s been about two months. The first three days he was silent. Then the texts came. Slowly at first, then more often. Then the calls. Once a day for about a week. Then twice a day, and they turned into one almost every hour, until you had to turn your phone off at night and most days. You avoided him at all costs. He stared visiting Julia’s, so you decided to move from Australia back to the U.S to stay with your old college roommate until you could find a place of your own. At least this way you could forget about him. The worst part was the nightmares. You had nightmares all the time, ones re-enacting the fight, ones where he starts seeing the red haired girl and tells everyone he was planning it all along, even nightmares that the girl found you and laughed in your face and her friends beat you up. Not just those, there were others. After a nightmare you would have to focus on your breathing and sometimes force the air in and out. You were so tired from them that you would just fall asleep watching TV or in a taxi or at a movie, and every time you would get a nightmare and work on your breathing. You’ve just finished getting ready for your fourth interview of the week, and you head out the door. You decide on walking instead of grabbing a taxi, you’ve been pigging out and could use the exercise. You round the corner and freeze. You see a mass of bright red hair sticking out of the group of people. Your heart stops and your stomach drops. You take deep breaths and force yourself forward, dropping your eyes to the ground. You focus on your breathing and walk straight ahead as quickly as possible. You walk right pass him and your breath catches. You focus on forcing air in and out and convince yourself that he didn’t see you. You’re about to turn another corner when you hear your name. Your name from a certain Australian accent that you know too well. Your legs turn to jello but you force yourself forward, your legs going from jello to lead. You take deep breaths and push on. “(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” It’s following you. You’re almost to the place, just a few more feet… his hand gently grabs your arm. You yank it away and freeze, your entire body trembling. You don’t turn around. You know that when you see him you’ll begin sobbing uncontrollably. “(Y/n), I’m so sorry, I-” You whip around and glare at him through tears. “Leave me alone! I have an important interview that I need to get to. Go back to Australia!” You growl, then you turn and walk as quickly as possible to your building. Once you get inside, you go to the bathroom and cry. After your cry, you fix yourself up and dominate that interview, even though it’s not what really the job you want. ~~~~ After the interview, you catch a taxi to the apartment. Once you get out, you pay the taxi man and turn to the building. You stop and stare at the steps. Michael is sitting on them. Crying. Your lips tremble as you icily say, “What are you doing here?” He lifts his head up and stares at you with glossy, watery eyes. You bite your lip and look away, crossing your arms over your chest.  “(Y/n),” He chokes, “I-I-” He takes a deep breath and stands up. “(Y/n), I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I swear, I’ve never been more sorry in my life.” He runs a hand through his hair and stares at you. You close your eyes. In, out. In, out. Okay, you can do this. In, out. You tilt your head and look at him.  “Michael, I will not be spoken to the way you spoke to me, and I will not be cheated on or laughed at behind my back, and I swear to God, I will never, NEVER be physically thrown out of an apartment that I share with someone else. ESPECIALLY in a place so far away from home and EVEN MORE ESPECIALLY NOT BY SOMEONE WHOM I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING AND SOMEONE WHO I THOUGH FELT THE SAME ABOUT ME.” You glare at him with tear filled eyes as you ball your shaky hands into fists and try to steady your breathing. Michael walks to you and you step back. He stops and his face crumples as he begins sobbing. You close your eyes because, even though you’re more pissed than anything at him, it hurts you to see him hurting. He composes himself and looks at you. “(Y/n), God, (Y/n), I love you so much. I can’t-there is no way for me to describe-word's can't describe how much I love you. There is no limit, no conditions, no strings, I just love you. More than anything. And I know I messed up. And I know it was a huge mess-up. But, God, I’m so sorry. I’ve never been more sorry about anything. Ever. I’m not going to make excuses. I’m going to give you truth. The entire truth. All of those girls, all of them, they all wanted something, like that, they all wanted to…be with me. Every one of them threw themselves at me. And I am not going to lie, okay,” You inhale sharply and look away. “I would have, would, if I didn’t have you. I knew, every one of those times, that I had you at home,” “Oh, great. You had me at home, ruining all of your fun.” You can hear the emotion on your voice.  “No, no, no, no, no, (Y/n), that’s not what I meant. I was going to say that, I knew I had you at home. I knew that I had the most beautiful, and smart, and understanding, and incredible, and amazing girl waiting for me at our home. I will admit that I shouldn’t stay out so late, that was mostly the people around me begging me to stay, I swear, but I never, ever, even considered cheating on you,” “You just said-” “I just said that without you I would have been with those girls, but that doesn’t mean that I was thinking about cheating with them. All I was ever thinking about, aside from the publicity part, was you, and how I wanted to be home, watching a movie or having dinner, with you.” “Michael-” “I shouldn’t have thrown you out. That was wrong. That was incredibly wrong. I’m sorry. I-I-I just, I don’t have a good reason. It was wrong, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, and I know it wasn’t and I’m so sorry. I just, please forgive me. You and I both know that’s what I came for. Your forgiveness. I understand if you don’t love me anymore, but please forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, and I feel like shit for it. I’m sorry. Please, please forgive me.” You look at him for a minute, then look at the ground. “Michael,” You begin, looking back at him, “I do still love you. And I will forgive you. But, I-I don’t know if I can take you back. You really hurt me, Michael. Really bad, I have nightmares, every night. I don’t think you fully understand just how much I love you. And, honestly, I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me again, I don’t know if I can handle that again.” Michael walks to you and gently holds your face. “(Y/n), I understand, believe me, I understand. But you gotta trust me. I know I hurt you, and I swear to God, I will never hurt you again. I’ve been going crazy without you, please, listen to me, I will never hurt you again. I won’t go out anymore, I will NEVER speak to you badly again, and I will never, ever, throw you out of our own home. God, I’m sorry, and I want to spend the rest of my life making this up to you.” You stare into his eyes. Slowly, you say, “Okay, Michael, okay, but this is it. This is your second chance. If you mess up again, I will leave and I will never, and I mean NEVER, come back.” Michael wraps you in a warm embrace and kisses you gently. “I’m such an idiot. I love you so much.” He whispers. “I love you too.” You smile, realizing that, for the first time in almost two months, you don’t have to force yourself to breathe. You rest your head on his shoulder and he rests his head on top of yours, and you just hold each other. ~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, so I hope you don’t think this is too long or something, this is my first Michael one! I hope you likde it! -Also, I take ship and imagine requests Here if you want one! XOXO - Ariel :)
Welcome to Breaktown  - A Crisscolfer fic

Title: Welcome to Breaktown
Author: Kbvibes
Wordcount: 2805
Rating: Teen
Pairing(s): Chris Colfer/Darren Criss
Genre: Angst with a happyish ending/Friends with benefits/Complicated relationship
Notes: Okay, guys. Blame this purely on my Hanson playlist and a half of a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. Inspiration, lyrics and title all from the song “Breaktown” by Hanson. Giving the song one listen is highly recommended. 

This one’s dedicated to all the beautiful boys who keep us coming back for more.


“Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want any.”

They’re the first words Chris has said to him in person in months.

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Exo Scenario - Falling out of Love with Kai

Okay anon I’m convinced you were trying to kill me with this request. I had to make a playlist of sad songs just to get in the mindset to write it and then once I started I had to take continuous breaks to eat ice cream and prevent myself from crying and that is why it took me so long to post. I hope you enjoy it and make sure you have a bowl of ice cream on stand by!

WARNING - THIS IS EXTREMELY SAD AND COULD BE VERY UPSETTING SO PLEASE CONSIDER YOUR OWN PERSONAL MENTAL STATE BEFORE READING!

Exo Scenario - Falling out of Love with Kai

It had been a very long time since things had been right.

When you looked at him, you still got that familiar spark and ache to be closer, but these days it was also accompanied by a feeling of dread and a knowing fear that things weren’t the same. Like right now.

“Kai, did you hear what I said?” You questioned, trying not to get impatient.

“Hmm…?” He didn’t bother to look up from his phone sitting on the table that he had been leaning over since the start of lunch. There was a slight twinge of annoyance that flew through you but you tried desperately to ignore it.

You just watched him for a minute, memorizing every single arch of his features and the way his hair fell in his face. Something told you that you should take it all in while you still could. It wasn’t that you didn’t love him the way you had every day since your first date six months ago, if anything you loved him more, more than you would ever be able to accurately articulate. But over the last few weeks, something had changed in him. He had become restless, distant. You could see him trying, but there were little things, little things that meant so much to you, little things that he would suddenly forget to do or say.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go downtown today after school? It’s been a while since we went out by ourselves.” You tried again, knowing exactly what his response would be.

“I can’t, Y/N, I promised the guys I would go and hit up that new club in Hongdae.” He still didn’t look at you. There it was again: your name. In the six months that the two of you had been together, he would only call you by your name under the rarest of occurrences. In the past two weeks that had been the only way he’d addressed you, as though ‘Jagi’ had been completely erased from his vocabulary.

Without warning, he stood up suddenly, his natural slouch appearing instantly and just like always it made desire curl in you. He started to remove his long legs from underneath the table. “Where are you going?” You asked quietly.

“I gotta go.” Was all he said.

You placed a light hand on his forearm. “Kai. D-Did I do something?” You asked hesitantly, trying to urge him to look into your eyes to no avail.

“Y/N stop trying to control my every move! I said I gotta go so I gotta go, okay?” His voice rose louder with every word until he was just below shouting and when he had finished he didn’t wait for your reply, storming away without once looking back.

You had to bite your lip to stop the tears that were threatening right on the edge of your eyelids. Everyone in the lunch room was looking on curiously at his commotion and all you could do was look down in your empty lap and let your hair act as a curtain surrounding you and blocking you out from the rest of the world. What was happening? Try as you might to keep everything in, a single tear still fell on your clenched hands.

He had this sort of power over you that no one had ever had. Normally you would have stood up for yourself, marched right up to him and demanded to know what the hell was going on with him and why he felt it was okay to treat you that way. But with Kai, everything was an edge and you were trying desperately to hold your breath and keep your balance. You didn’t want to risk losing him because your love, it was a bright and brilliant affair, unlike anyone had ever seen, and if it had begun to burn out like an exploding star, you certainly didn’t want to know.

There was something you needed to tell him, but now never seemed like a worse time. He would probably just brush it off and go to find the guys. And although you didn’t want to admit it, you weren’t sure if it was still worth telling.

He didn’t text you that night, not that you expected him to and you didn’t make a move to text him either, scared to push him away further. You tried not to think about what he was doing, how many drinks he had inevitably had. His friends were the worst influence on him and they never liked it when you were around because you always discouraged him from drinking while they were always encouraging him to drink one more. All you could do was hope that he was okay.

The next day you waited for him outside the school just like you did every day. Your panic rose steadily with each minute that passed and when the final bell rang you forgot how to breathe. He didn’t come. He…he didn’t come.

There was a slight resistance, a moment where you were sure there had to be an explanation. He didn’t come to school today. That had to be it.

But deep within you, their was a faint crack in your chest as you felt what you knew to be the beginning of the end.

Somehow your feet carried you inside and up the steps towards class while you were submerged in some sort of numbness. Was it possible to feel more completely alone and desolate than you did right now?

The answer was yes.

Because when you looked up and saw the only person you had ever loved with your entire being and every single nerve ending in your being, the person you had learned to love to the ends of the world and back, standing over another girl whose skirt was too short and whose hair was too perfect and whose back was pressed against a faded green locker as he kissed her fast and hard, you found yourself hovering above the rest of the world, staring down and watching in a completely detached state. Alone.

So completely detached that you didn’t feel your bag slip out of your hand nor did you hear the audible thump it made as it connected with the cement floor. But they did.

Kai’s eyes flickered open and he broke away just slightly to find the source of the sound and instead he found you. You watched as his eyes glazed over and hardened, no trace of remorse or regret to be found. There was another soundless crack that echoed through your chest cavity where your heart should have been.

“Isn’t that her?” The girl asked him quietly, her eyes flicking your way just to send me a triumphant smirk. You didn’t care. All you cared about was the way Kai was looking at you, like he never even knew you at all.

Hot tears had filled your eyes but you tried fruitlessly to keep them in, not wanting him to see how much he had hurt you. Instead, you took one shaky step towards him, and then another until there was only a foot of space between you and him.

Your vision had gone blurry, but you kept a strong voice as you stared right at him, hoping to find some sort of answer and said, “Why didn’t you just tell me that you had fallen out of love with me?” You couldn’t stop the crack in your voice that broke on the last word.

He looked stricken, completely taken aback by your lack of anger. No one said anything. No one even dared to breathe. You hoped to see some sign of the Kai you had fallen in love with, the one you were sure you never wanted to leave your life because if he did so would all of the light. Instead all you found was iciness and a wall that had been built so high and so quickly that you hadn’t even realized you were standing on the wrong side of it all along.

“I was never in love with you to begin with.” Were the only words he chose to say.

There are no words to describe the way your heart suddenly stopped at those words and the way your breath seemed to catch in your throat. But you didn’t let yourself shatter not yet, because the tears were too close to brimming over and the hurt was too heavy to bear in front of him.

“You were a fool to ever think that I was.” He stated simply.

Instead of losing yourself completely and letting everything in you turn to hate you looked at him, deeply and completely, memorizing everything about him one last time since you knew this was the last time you would be allowed to look at him this way. Like the world began and ended with him. “You’re right. I am a fool. But I will always be a fool for you, Kai.”

And with that you took one last mental snapshot, remembering the way his hands felt in yours, and the feel of his skin caressing your own, the way those lips felt at two a.m. You remembered all of that instead of seeing the way his face gave way to absolutely no emotion and never one betrayed a single emotion. “It was a gift having even just a little bit of your heart.”

Turning on your heel you walked in the direction you came and controlled your pace. You  worked your way out of the building and down the street, allowing a good fifty feet to appear between you and that horrible place before you completely shattered, losing your footing and crumpling to the pavement gasping for breaths. Those cracks that had formed deep within you had given way like a dam bursting at the seams and drowning you in a form of anguish you had never in your life experienced before. The world could have ended right there and you wouldn’t have noticed as the sobs racked your body and tears streamed down your face in a messy river. You couldn’t feel anything besides the need to scream and run away from anything and everything. The world was rushing around you too fast and you could barely remember anything other than that look in his eyes. And that was when the darkness swallowed you whole.

……………..

You woke to the sounds of beeping machines and the slight hum of electricity all accompanying the hazy glow of the hospital lights above you.

“Y/N!” Your parents exclaimed, jumping to your side immediately and grabbing hold of your hands.

“What happened?” You croaked, surprised at the way your voice seemed to be struggling to get out.

“Honey someone…” Your mom started, tears filling her eyes, unable to finish.

“Someone found you unconscious on the ground by school three days ago. They brought you here and you’ve been this way since.” Your dad finished for her.

Panic surged throughout you. You’d seen their expressions before. You knew what that expression meant.

Just then, the doctor came in having been alerted that you were awake. “Hi there, Y/N, how are you feeling?” He was a tall, reserved looking man who seemed to be holding something  back based on the way his lips tightened as he said the words.

“Not too great.” You chuckled jokingly. No one joined in.

The doctor sat down on the edge of your bed, taking in a deep breath to steady himself. “Y/N I’m sure you know what’s going on here.”

“I have a guess.” You smiled at him.

“You passed out because you’ve had a relapse. It seems the tumors we thought were gone have returned and they are growing at a much faster rate now.” He didn’t have the courage to look at me. Fortunately for him, I knew this was coming, and the numbness that had settled over my body was making this a lot easier for me than it was for him.

“Ah so that’s why everything hurts.” You laughed and felt your parent’s incredulous stares from the other side of the bed.

“There isn’t anything we can do, Y/N. And there…there isn’t much time.” The doctor told you truthfully. He looked so pained, it broke what little bit of your heart there was left. Gently you touched his arm.

“It’s okay, alright? I accepted this a long time ago.” You smiled a bittersweet smile and laid back. “I think this warrants some ice cream, don’t you?”

A week passed, and then another. You spent every day in that damn hospital bed, feeling the way your body slowly deteriorated into nothing. Not that you really felt anything at all anyway, because every time you tried to, you just saw that cold glare again and you broke all over again. It was better, easier, to just shut off the feelings.

On a sunny day soon after that day you woke up knowing something wasn’t right. It was harder to move, harder to breathe, harder to smile for your parents. You grimaced in pain at any action and by late afternoon you could feel yourself beginning to give up just slightly, wanting to be devoid of everything within this body, all of the terrible feelings all of the pain.

That was when you noticed a tall figure lurking outside the door hesitantly, the slight slouch in his spine giving him away. A familiar ache spread through your chest, but you couldn’t help yourself. “Kai?” You called softly, almost inaudible.

He stiffened, scared to move closer but after a moment of thought he urged himself forward and into the light of the tiny room. You could see a puffiness ringing his eyes in a light shade of red and his words came out quiet. “Y/N? Is-is it true?” He stood as far away as the room would allow.

You just smiled at him and nodded slightly. His breath hitched as his hand went up to cover his mouth and he looked away, trying to compose himself. “You didn’t have to come.”

He turned back suddenly, taking cautious steps closer to you. “Y/N, Y/N, I…I didn’t mean what I said. You have to know I didn’t mean what I said about not loving you. I loved you, I loved you so so much, but, I…” He trailed off, finding the next words hard to say. His eyes were filled with tears as he looked into your own and you grabbed his hand and squeezed it lovingly.

“I know.”

“I should have just told you, I…” He just shook his head at himself looking down again.

“Kai.” You said his name, urging him to look at you again. He did. “It’s okay. I forgive you. I understand and I forgive you.” The words were like a breath of release, the last thing you had been dying to say. It brought him to tears and he sobbed into your arm, holding tightly to your hand and not letting go. Once it would have been an anchor, now it was like a knot untying and letting you go. Now that he was here you could go. And you did.

Originally posted by kaibility

I’m not sure if that’s exactly how you were hoping it would end but I was having a hard time letting this be a completely unhappy ending. What can I say? 

We hope you enjoyed!!!

REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN PLEASE FILL UP OUR ASK BOX WE ARE READY AND WAITING!!

AS ALWAYS FAV, REBLOG, AND FOLLOW!!!


xoxo

-An Emotional Potato Named Lisa

Oneshot: This Embrace

Regina gets social anxiety after an incident in town, Regina has a panic attack in front of the whole town and panics more knowing everyone is watching. Snow and Charming and the Charming kids go up and talk to their ‘Big sister Regina’ and talk her through it until Emma gets there. – anonymous

Thanks for the prompt. TW for a shooting and panic attacks. Apologies for any mistakes. I don’t own Once or its characters. SQ and SwanMillsCharming Family feels. Hope you enjoy :)

—————-

“Okay,” Regina says, “If that’s everything then this meeting can be adjourned.”

“I have something,” a voice calls out and so Regina pauses trying to locate the voice in the crowded town hall. She looks at her watch before nodding seeing that she has another thirty minutes before Henry finishes school.

“You have the floor,” she announces hoping it won’t take too long.

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