waste of feelings

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

im a little late to the party but fuck rhaegar targaryen amirite

kara and maggie things we’ve been robbed of:

-the “shovel talk”, which would be kara attempting to be intimidating, but maggie is so understanding and straightforward about her intentions with alex that they end up just hanging out and bonding instead.

-supergirl showing up to maggie’s crime scenes unannounced just to “check in” and maggie realizing that kara keeps an eye on her when she’s on the job bc she cares about her safety.

-kara talking about game night and assuming maggie will be there because she’s part of the family now. maggie’s heart swelling at having people who love her.

-kara being all up in sanvers’ business all the time bc she has no concept of boundaries. alex being semi annoyed, and maggie being amused.

-maggie giving kara sound advice about something and kara telling her she’s grateful that now she has two sisters to look to for help.

-both of them getting together for a regular tv night, exchanging theories for the outcome of the show. maggie sitting at her desk the next day loving all the “ooh but what if…” texts from kara.

-kara helping maggie set up a perfect date or surprise for alex. maggie thinking kara will for sure ruin the surprise because of her giggles, but she’s better at keeping secrets than maggie thought.

-kara blowing out her powers one day and maggie not passing up the opportunity to try and beat supergirl at arm wrestling.

-maggie and kara getting to know each other, protecting/supporting each other, and slowly becoming sisters like they should be.

“I’m afraid I’ll live a useless life and nobody will remember me. I don’t feel a strong interest toward anything. If I do, it’s just a momentary thing, and then I drop it. I tried acting. I tried swimming. I tried dancing. But I got bored with all of it. If I don’t choose something soon then I’ll leave nothing behind. We only have a certain amount of energy in life. If you don’t put it somewhere then it’s wasted. I feel like one of the little yellow minions from that movie. They get sad if they don’t have a villain to serve. When I have a goal, and I’m moving toward it, and I reach it, then I feel a little relief. That’s what life is to me. A series of goals that you move toward. I don’t think it’s possible to just become happy. Life’s not that easy. But if you keep moving, you can forget that you’re sad.”

(Moscow, Russia)

i mean it’s not like i spend every hour consciously saying “i hate myself.” it’s just that when things go wrong my first response is “of course” “i deserve this” “this is because i suck.” if someone asked me “do you like who you are” i’d be stuck. i don’t feel like i’m 13 and emo anymore, but i kept the sidebangs. i feel weird saying things like “i’m a burden and waste of space” but i feel like that. just maybe not in those words. it’s just like i swell too big for the area. like i splash over the sides, a party foul, the spilled drink. i mean how extra would it be to say something like “i don’t like myself enough to keep living”. doesn’t that just cause other people pain. doesn’t that just make people worry. but on the other hand i’m stuck because i feel numb, vague, blurry. like i should evaporate. like i do nothing but cause people distress when i should be helping. like okay. i don’t hate hate myself. but if the car was coming i wouldn’t get out of the way in a hurry.

the tumblr art scene as I’ve seen it for the past 4 years
  • Aesthetique ™ you’re not a true cool kid until you draw on graph paper or on overlapping sticky notes. You’ve taken pics of your sketchbook next to an aloe or cactus plant at some point. 
  • The Fanartist That one artist pretty much everyone who evenly remotely likes the show/book/movie/whatever knows. You watched their empire rise and you might watch their empire fall. Is that guy who somehow makes a full on illustration 20 min after the episode airs. 
  • The Portrait Artist The paintings are stylized just enough, everyone uses their photoshop brushes, and their art is so good you don’t realize all they do is draw the faces of hot people facing left.
  • The Professional Their stuff is so good. It is sO GOOD WHY ARE THEY SO GO– oh they’re an art director who has been in the industry for 25 years ok makes sense. 
  • The Sketcher: You’ve never actually seen a finished product from them, but you don’t actually care. Sketchbook pages packed top to bottom just to make you feel inadequate
  • That Asshole: *insert photorealistic painting* Caption: “drawn in PS. 5 hrs so it’s messy.”
  • The New Kid: They just bought a tablet, they still think art is fun, bless their little hearts. Every post comes with a 2 paragraph long explanation/apology. Motivate them, they’re still learning. 
  • That girl who just draws cartoon characters beat up I don’t know why That’s a thing why is this a trend
why the signs are in a pissy mood

aries: they feel like they are stuck in the same old routine // they didn’t get their way // none of their friends are as pumped up as them // they found out someone lied about something related to them // someone made them feel insecure about something they take pride in

taurus: someone is trying to rush them into something // they got called lazy // they feel like things are out of their control // something got in the way of their goals // something came up and now they can’t do that one thing that always makes them feel better

gemini: someone called them out on something // all their friends are in a bad mood // they feel like someone is trying to control them // they can’t find anything to do // they just came out to have a good time and they’re honestly feeling so attacked rn

cancer: someone said something and they took it way too personally // people keep trying to vent to them // no one asks how they are doing // the one person they love the most is being a bitch // someone tried to fuck w their things // someone called them controlling

leo: someone denied them or their company // they feel small // they want someone specific’s attention and they can’t get it // they have to go to a class they really don’t want to fucking go to // someone one upped them // they feel like their friends are choosing someone else over them

virgo: they were forced to have a conversation with someone they think is shallow // someone told them they were wrong // someone they care about denied their help // they know they are wasting their time

libra: they feel alone // someone keeps trying to argue with them // they were denied something they feel entitled to // they aren’t getting the admiration they want // they’re forced to work or socialize w sloppy people // someone called them fake

scorpio: there’s nothing good on netflix // something got in the way of them doing their favorite activity // someone they care about is being secretive w them // someone is trying to get them to open up // they realize they are being obsessive over something or someone again 

sagittarius: no one wants to hang out // they feel like someone is trying to trap them // someone thinks they’re lying // someone called them boring // they’re bored // they feel like they are stuck in the same place in life 

capricorn: they feel like they aren’t making any progress // shitty day at work // they have to work under someone whose a dumbass // they can’t find any good music // they can’t stop questioning themselves and their own abilities // someone denied them or their advice

aquarius: someone they actually care about disagreed w them // someone shot down their idea // their plans for a good time keep getting fucked up // they catch themselves caring what other people think of them // they are forced into situations where they must make small talk for hours on end

pisces: everyone around them is in a bad mood // they have to go against their intuitions // they overindulged again // they were forced to work with shallow people // they didn’t get enough alone time // someone they love said something hurtful that they took way too personally

5

2 YEARS OF SOUNDS GOOD FEELS GOOD - 23.10.2015 - 23.10.2017

1. Money
2. She’s Kinda Hot
3. Hey Everybody!
4. Permanent Vacation
5. Jet Black Heart
6. Catch Fire
7. Safety Pin
8. Waste The Night
9. Vapor
10. Castaway
11. The Girl Who Cried Wolf
12. Broken Home
13. Fly Away
14. Invisible
15. Airplanes
16. San Francisco
17. Outer Space / Carry On

OH MY GOD ❤🌻

we are young, we play our music loud,drink until we can’t stand, we sneak out, get grounded, fail tests, run wild, we make friendships that only last a month, lie about where we are, cry in the bathroom, try new things, sleep for hours, binge eat, go through lovers like we go through our expensive clothes. we are young,we are the corrupted youth.
we are the hated generation,but they forget who raised us.
—  diaryofasocialintrovert