waste of $20

8

I know we supposed to be great paladins and defenders of the universe or whatever but honestly… 

                                                                               i just wanna go home

the tumblr art scene as I’ve seen it for the past 4 years
  • Aesthetique ™ you’re not a true cool kid until you draw on graph paper or on overlapping sticky notes. You’ve taken pics of your sketchbook next to an aloe or cactus plant at some point. 
  • The Fanartist That one artist pretty much everyone who evenly remotely likes the show/book/movie/whatever knows. You watched their empire rise and you might watch their empire fall. Is that guy who somehow makes a full on illustration 20 min after the episode airs. 
  • The Portrait Artist The paintings are stylized just enough, everyone uses their photoshop brushes, and their art is so good you don’t realize all they do is draw the faces of hot people facing left.
  • The Professional Their stuff is so good. It is sO GOOD WHY ARE THEY SO GO– oh they’re an art director who has been in the industry for 25 years ok makes sense. 
  • The Sketcher: You’ve never actually seen a finished product from them, but you don’t actually care. Sketchbook pages packed top to bottom just to make you feel inadequate
  • That Asshole: *insert photorealistic painting* Caption: “drawn in PS. 5 hrs so it’s messy.”
  • The New Kid: They just bought a tablet, they still think art is fun, bless their little hearts. Every post comes with a 2 paragraph long explanation/apology. Motivate them, they’re still learning. 
  • That girl who just draws cartoon characters beat up I don’t know why That’s a thing why is this a trend

When I actually got into Good Robert (slept w him first NOT KNOWING had to fix it) I could not stop laughing about the idea of what a fuckboi Robert COULD have messaged Dadsona w Amanda RIGHT THERE

“W-y-d?”
“What you doing, Dad. DUH. Send back "just chillin.” NO G, Dad. THATS LAME.“

She’s standing behind her socially inept father when Robert sends back a

"cool…. what are u wearing ;)”

She’s stunned silent. Horrified. And she’s not sure if her dad answering with a “??? My clothes??? You saw me this morning at the grocery store?” is better or worse bc it means HE DIDNT GET IT HOW DID HE NOT GET IT THERE WAS A WINKY FACE THATS A CLASSIC SEXT STARTER AND HOLY SHIT HER DAD HAS NEVER ONCE HAD SEX NOT EVER NOT ONCE THATS N O T ALLOWED

Since the ask box is closed here’s a little try out of my new mid tone sketchbook I did last week
(Even tho I’m on hiatus I’ll post some drawings here and there, it’s just that answers take up a lot of time)
🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Deadline: Lucy Liu Joins Netflix Comedy Feature ‘Set It Up’

Lucy Liu has joined Zoey Deutch (last night’s WIF Face of the Future award winner), Glen Powell, and Taye Diggs in Netflix’s Set It Up from director Claire Scanlon.

Written by Katie Silberman, the film follows the story of two overworked and underpaid assistants, Harper and Charlie (Deutch and Powell), who are wasting their 20s working for superiors who treat them like dirt and work them ’round the clock. Harper and Charlie commiserate with each other about their crazy bosses (Liu and Diggs) and realize that they would have much more free time if the people they worked for weren’t single. They concoct a plan to solve their problem by setting up their respective bosses with each other. As assistants they have all the access and all the power to pull the strings behind the scenes to lure their unwitting bosses into a faux romance. When the plan is a huge success, Harper and Charlie are now free to live their lives. But, things start to spin out of control as they begin to discover what started out as a harmless plan could lead to some unanticipated consequences.

Liu plays Kirsten Stevens, described as “an intimidating, no-nonsense, extremely successful sports reporter.”

I'm "tired" of your Craigslist ads

This happened a couple years ago but I just remembered while browsing craigslist.

My dad needed some new tires for his truck but being low on funds we turned to craigslist for a used set. I found him what looked to be a good deal only a few blocks from home at some guy’s shop which was more or less just a detached garage next to his house. Dad went and got the tires installed and less than a week later one of them had a huge bubble form where the tread separated and became unusable. We called the guy and he said tough luck, we should have inspected them better. I agree, my dad should have looked them over better but I was still pissed that the guy was selling garbage to unsuspecting customers.

I forget about it and a few months go by but now I am looking for some used tires for my truck on craigslist. Nothing on craigslist annoys me more than when people list their items for $1 just so it shows up more often when people search by price. I start to see multiple listings for the same tires. All listed one day apart, all for $1 and no other mention of price in the ad itself. I begin flagging the multiple listings when I notice the name is the same as the guy who sold the tires to my dad months before (Tom) and my heart starts pounding with excitement as a plan forms in my head.

A couple days later I drive to Tom’s shop and ask to see the tires from the ad. He takes me out back and pulls them down from a rack so I can inspect them. I spend about 10 minutes looking over every inch of the tires then just stand there staring at them and thinking. My original plan was to go inspect them and then after wasting his time tell him I didn’t like them. The problem however, was that the tires were in perfect condition. New plan. After a few more minutes of us standing there in silence it comes to me.

Me: “The tires look great. I’ll take them!”

Tom: “Great, let’s go to my office and write up a receipt.”

Me: “No, it’s ok. I’ll just pay you here.”

I pull out my wallet and ask: “Is it $1 for all four or $1 for each tire?”

He looks at me annoyed as if he sees where this is going and explains he can’t sell them for only $1. I pull out my phone and show him five, yes five, separate listings for the exact same set of tires all listed at $1 with his name and contact info underneath. He didn’t like that and told me firmly to either stop wasting his time and pay him or leave, so I left as he stacked the tires back on the rack.

In all I wasted about 20 minutes of his day and made him lift heavy tires. He didn’t learn his lesson because today I found him doing the same thing with his craigslist listings, so I flagged then all and it feels amazing.

EXO’s Reaction to You Falling Asleep on Them at a Party

Xiumin:

Not one to go to parties often, Xiumin would be somewhat pleased when he realized you were asleep on his shoulder. He’d use your tiredness as an excuse to leave. Gently shaking you awake, he’d hold your hand and lead you to the door, happy to be out of the obnoxious club. Once you were in the car, he’d give you a thumbs up for falling asleep and giving him an out so you didn’t have to stay there.

Chen:

Definitely more of a party-goer, Chen would be a bit annoyed that you had fallen asleep on him when he sat down to drink with you. He’d nudge you a little to wake you up, raising his eyebrows. When he saw how tired you looked, he’d concede, slowly leading you out of the house and into the car. You’d apologize but he’d just shrug it off, acting like he hadn’t wanted to stay so you wouldn’t feel bad.

Baekhyun:

Though enjoying being the center of attention at the party, Baekhyun would put your health before his eagerness to be the star. When he saw you dozing off on his shoulder he’d gently shake you awake. “Wanna leave?” he’d ask quietly. When you sheepishly nodded he wouldn’t hesitate to scoop you up in his arms and carry you through the door, waving goodbye to everyone as you two left.

Chanyeol:

Chanyeol enjoys socializing, however parties were never his forte. He’d stay by you most of the night, following you when you sat down on the couch to relax. He’d start talking with you, not realizing you had fallen asleep on him until twenty minutes later. He’d smile, admiring how adorable you looked, before waking you up and carefully escorting you out of the booze-filled house and into the car.

Lay:

Also not big into parties, Lay’s favorite part of the whole night would be when you fell asleep against his shoulder. He’d finish his drink quickly and kiss your cheek, waking you up. “Come on, baobei, let’s go,” he’d say, gesturing to the door. As he drove you back to your house, he wouldn’t be able to help himself from asking (his amazement obvious) how you managed to fall asleep with the loud music blasting around you in the bar.

D.O:

More of a silent observer than a partaker during such social events, D.O would be secretly happy that you had fallen asleep on him. He was getting bored watching drunk girls grind on tipsy guys, but didn’t know how to leave without being rude. He’d slowly lead you through the mess of sweaty, wasted 20-somethings and to the exit, giggling at how ridiculous everyone looked.

Suho:

For some reason, Suho would turn into a giddy, giggling mess when he saw you snuggled so comfortably against his shoulder. “J-Jagiya~ What are you doing? We’re at a party!” he’d say, gesturing to the room filled with neon lights and terrible music. You’d just look at him, your expression tired, and he’d take the hint. On the way back home, he’d still be giggling, shaking his head at the fact that you had fallen asleep during a literal party.

Kai:

Kai enjoys a good party now and then, and wouldn’t realize you had fallen asleep on him until he got up and realized you had tipped over onto the couch. He’d bite back his laughter as he helped you up, asking if you wanted to leave. When you said yes, he’d nod understandingly. For weeks after, he’d bring it up, imitating how you had fallen over while laughing way too hard.

Sehun:

Sehun would be..put out..that you had decided now was the perfect moment to fall asleep on him. He’d wake you up, asking you flatly if you wanted to leave. When you said yes, he’d nod, reluctantly saying goodbye to his friends and escorting you out of the house. You could tell he was annoyed, however he didn’t want to make you feel bad so he wouldn’t bring it up, soon forgetting about the incident entirely. 

got7 at a cookout

jackson: everyone’s favorite cousin
- goes for ‘a store run’ with Mark (a coverup for smoking weed probably at the park)
- can’t cook to save his life
- “TURN UP!”
- had about three beers already
- outside playing freeze tag like he’s a kid himself
- is the first one in line when it’s time to eat
- brings his own radio
- dresses in athletic gear
- tells everyone the food is not organic and is unhealthy but still eats anyway

jinyoung: someone’s dad
- volunteers to say the prayer
- takes twenty minutes to say the prayer but is mainly throwing shade at everyone there (yugyeom)
- “pastors eat first.”
- has a belt over his shoulder for his kids who try to act up
- helped cook the food
- most likely scolding yugyeom and bambam
- drinks wine while monitoring the kids outside
- still gets called Junior even though he’s almost 30
- “My name is Jinyoung, thank you.”

jaebum: the strange cousin
- literally just there to eat
- you can find him in the back room on his phone or walking down the street
- is angry because he couldn’t bring his cats
- everyone is scared to talk to him
- made most of the food (especially the fried chicken)
- argues over who ate the last chicken wing
- gets lectured by his auntie on why he should be nicer
- sneaks plates of food and hides them in his car
- requests R&B music

bambam: the weird nephew
- dresses in nothing but designers
- challenges everyone to a dance off
- plays rap music
- dabbing instead of praying
- gets abused by Jinyoung
- almost gets caught sipping beer
- always screaming
- forces his mom to dance with him
- literally eating everything though he’s so skinny
- gets beat up by his other cousins

youngjae: the kind uncle
- screams “hello” to everyone that walks through the door
- probably in the back BBQ'ing
- tells his nieces and nephews to behave themselves
- throws away all the cucumbers
- is the last one to eat since he wants everyone else to go first
- participates in the 6 year old activities
- eats the popsicles
- loves being surrounded by family

mark: the playboy
- brings about seven different girls to the family cookout
- wears yeezy gear as the elders complain about how he’s wasting his money
- leaves every 20 minutes to get high
- weed smell is on his clothes
- eyes are always red
- takes his plate with him
- “you wanna play basketball?”
- hoops later on outside
- walks the street at 10pm with his other friends and cousins
- still a quiet squish

yugyeom: the dancing nephew
- gets dressed by his mom
- is forced to show off his dance moves to the family
- “I don’t wanna dance mom!”
- is scared to eat
- waits until everyone got their plate only to realize it’s scraps of food left
- taller than almost everyone
- still will get slapped by Jinyoung no matter how tall he gets
- in the back room being a goof with his other cousins
- plays 2K17 (basket ball game)
- gets sad when it’s time to go home after a while

Conservatism. Is. A. Scam.

Conservatives: “There is a finite amount of dollars in the world, we can’t help everyone. The debt is too high. We need to tighten our belts. Healthcare reform and college education reform are too expensive. There’s no such thing as free stuff. Taxes are the government stealing. Let’s take care of our own needy first. These deficits are out of control.”
Conservatives: * Support wasting 20+ billion dollars on a useless vanity project wall for Trump to metaphorically blow himself with*


Family, friends, feeling (P.3)

Summary: You and Jaebum make breakfast for the boys but something stirring behind the scenes 

Genre: fluff

word count: 2206

[pt.1]  [pt.2] 

Jaebum x reader, (and maybe a surprise …..)

Jaebum heard a knock as his door and it was immediately followed by someone turning the knob. He knew it was Jinyoung since he was the only one with this habit. “Hyung” He said leaning against the frame of the door. “Uh?” Jaebum replied, disinterested and looking at his music sheets. “______ah wants to cook us breakfast. She said she wanted help but I can’t really cook. Do you mind?” Jaebum raised his eyebrows at Jinyoung and knew that his classic smirk hid some sort of agenda. But even in spite of that he said “I guess so.” Jaebum walked to the kitchen where she was already rummaging through the cupboards and fridge to figure out what the boys had on hand. “Looking for something?” Jaebum tried to sound cool as he put his hands in his pockets propping himself against the counter and observing your movements. “Oh. I was just…trying to think of stuff to make. But it doesn’t seem like you guys keep food around” She said laughing and then biting her lip, which Jaebum couldn’t help but look away from. “No we don’t. Its only 7:00am they won’t be up for at least a couple hours…we can go to the 24/7 mart. It’s a little bit farther but it would be the only open right now.” She looked to the ground and rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. “Sure let me just go put on some regular clothes” 

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