wast-indian

Please fire me, I deliver pizza and I just delivered to an old man who was only wearing a shirt while sitting Indian style on the floor. He was very intoxicated, but made sure to get his change. So I had to see old man junk and I didn’t even get a tip.

The Signs as Things Bought During the Road to E3
  • Aries: Dan's Moose Batman Shirt
  • Taurus: Dex's Coloring Book
  • Gemini: Plastic Golf Clubs
  • Cancer: Crappy Coney Island Hotdog
  • Leo: Denny's Breakfast
  • Virgo: Aleks' Wasted Salad
  • Libra: Aleks' Indian Shirt
  • Scorpio: Aron's Raincoat
  • Sagittarius: The Scooter with Flare Trail
  • Capricorn: Candy That Turned Dan into an Onion
  • Aquarius: Knock Off Aquafina
  • Pisces: Aron's Hello Kitty Chair
4

Gotham s1e7: Indian Hill     Now that Indian Hill is such an important part of the current plot, there remain some unanswered questions about it. In this episode, Don Falcone and Don Maroni meet to make peace; Falcone says Maroni can “keep” Oswald but Falcone wants something in exchange. Falcone asks for a warehouse; Maroni balks, and Oswald whispers to him to give Falcone Indian Hill. Fish says Indian Hill is worthless, a toxic waste dump atop an Indian Burial Ground. Falcone accepts Indian Hill, as a gesture of friendship.

Of course Oswald was working for Falcone, so Falcone must have told him to trick Maroni into giving up Indian Hill. Why? Arkham Asylum had been closed for ten years. At the beginning of the exchange, Falcone talks about how the Arkham project is a “gold mine” and how wonderful it is that Wayne Enterprises is back in play. Did Falcone sell Indian Hill to Wayne Enterprises? Was he working with Wayne Enterprises all along? Was he told by Wayne Enterprises to frame Mario Pepper for the Waynes’ murder? Were Thomas and Martha Wayne murdered because they planned to renovate Arkham and make it a humane facility, thus interfering with grander plans (the Indian Hill project)?

Some unsaid rules are:

Don’t waste food. Indians consider wasting food to be disrespectful.
2. Weddings aren’t about the groom and the bride…they’re just the excuse for the big, fat, extended family reunion.


3. Apologize profusely if your feet touch…no one really takes offense at this anymore, but it is general courtesy.

4. Most places, especially street vendors try and overcharge, bargain hard!

5. Offer anyone that comes to your residence water and maybe, a snack. Even the mail man!

6. While driving, expect people to come at you from every direction possible! It’s not a road, it’s Road Rash!


7. You can hang out as much as you like with friends, but if you fail to let your mom know that you won’t be home for lunch/ dinner, you’re in deep trouble.

8. When you aren’t sure of what to wear to an occasion, err on the side of being overly traditional.

9. You NEVER miss the family celebrations of the important festivals…particularly Diwali

10. You never let your parents know you are dating.

11. Offer or discount or sale isn’t as good as it sounds- conditions apply.

12. Summers mean mango season!

13. If there’s an erotic scene in a movie you are watching with the family, the channel will change automatically and a 2 min awkward silence will be observed.

14. Indian moms always have an unlimited supply of plastic bags, safety pins and snacks.

15. The fact that you don’t wake up early in the morning is the reason for everything that is wrong with your life.

16. You get married ASAP…your parents need grand kids!

17. You have to love Amul products…not liking Amul is blasphemous! (To know what Amul is, read here- Amul )


18. You never refer to a person as fat- you say they’re kinda “healthy”

19. You were born to be a Doctor/ Engineer and at the very least, a Chartered Accountant or MBA- holding business professional

20. Never disturb an Indian Dad when he’s reading the newspaper/ watching the news.

21. There’s no better way to bond than to have chai together.


22. Hindi TV serials (TV series) make absolutely no sense….the lead characters are married more times than can be counted and at least one character comes back as a completely different person after a “plastic surgery”


(Translation: Because the mother-in-law was once a daughter-in-law- A very famous and insane Hindi TV series)

23. Rainy season is messy, slushy…we compensate for it with pakodas and chai.

24. Cricket is SACRED. Don’t mess with Sachin Tendulkar….But Rahul Dravid is clearly the GOD! (Bring on the brickbats)


25. When out with another family for dinner…fight over the bill and insist on paying. It is perfectly acceptable to grab their wallet/ hand to stop them from paying.

26. Never visit a relative empty handed.

27. If someone gives you food in a container…don’t return it empty (I mean, have some decency, dude!)

28. Never add sugar to a beverage while serving to a group of older people without ascertaining whether folks are diabetic (Yeah, really…!)

29. Leave footwear outside the house. Never walk inside the house with the same footwear you wear on the streets (Should be pretty obvious)

30. Everyone complains about the Indian Railways, but we love it.


31. Friendships are SACRED. If your friend needs you at 1 am to pick him up when he’s stranded….you go. No questions asked.

32. Everything gets done….you ALWAYS know a guy, that knows a guy.

33. A friend’s friend IS a friend.

34. Indian guys go to temples to check out girls in traditional outfits….it’s a thing! (We girls rock the traditional look and guys are suckers for the traditional avatar).


35. The most devout atheist can be seen praying before exams! Also, on a related note, studying for undergrad exams more than a week prior is disgraceful.

35. If you are missing mail, your awesome neighbor may have collected it and kept it REALLY safe.

36. Neighbors are extended family (If they’re nice).

37. GPS is not required, people will guide you to wherever you need to get to.

38. Help is ALWAYS around the corner.

39. Food is NEVER an issue, not even at 3 am on a week night.


40. EVERYONE watches the Republic Day parade.

41. Frozen, packaged, processed food is bad for you. Only mom’s cooking is good for you.

42. You never think twice before going to a doctor. A pharmacist is almost a doc for most minor ailments. (Health Insurance is only for calamities).

43. Be respectful of people older to you. You don’t necessarily have to be deferential, but be careful in expressing dissent.

44. Sitting in the first bench/ row in class is taboo. The last benches are the cool ones.

45. All our films are love stories, but clearly…arranged marriage is the way to go!

46. Kingfisher lager beer sucks…and is the most popular…much like the Mc Donald’s burger in the US.


47. If you go to a restaurant for a meal, you HAVE to order a paneer dish. (Paneer is a sort of non melting cheese native to Indian cuisine)


48. Parents will always go to the same restaurant and order the same exact thing for YEARS!!!!

49. Parents in India believe in relative grading- they compare your poor grades with the neighbour’s child’s grades. AND the neighbor’s child is ALWAYS better at studies than you!!

50. NEVER give anyone money as gift in even numbers (It is considered inauspicious). It’s always 101, 501…etc.

-Sindhu Mahadevan (Quora answer)