wasp things

My friend is reading The Unstoppable Wasp
  • Friend: What Nadia needs is a team up with Silk
  • Me: What?
  • Friend: They don't get cultural references, so at least they could misunderstand things together
  • Friend: 'I never understand these references'
  • Friend: 'Me neither! :D'
  • Friend: And Steve cries in the background

I got inspired by @charminglyantiquated‘s Elsewhere University idea, and wrote up a little something. (All credit for the ‘verse goes to the aforementioned blogger.)

***

I swear that being under that thing’s cold gaze was like staring down an oncoming truck. It promised nothing but death and pain, and I was terrified.

It was bright, and shone gold in the sun; but its mouth was like two swords, and its wings were razor-edged. Its great compound eyes, which should have been faceted like a geodesic dome, were entirely too human. This was one of the creatures I had been warned about, the reason you shut and locked your windows until the cold came and drove them away.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I risked looking away from the creature to see who’d texted me.

are you seriously telling me that you’re trapped in your room with a wasp

“This is not just a wasp,” I muttered, looking back up at the monster on my window ledge. A wasp would be bad, but this was worse. Wasps are what, an inch long? This thing was as big as my hand. If it was a wasp, it was a mutant wasp. And given where I was, it was probably worse than that. 

It looked away from me, antennae waving, and crept along the windowsill. It was then that I noticed–one of its legs was broken, and it was really creeping. More like dragging. Had it been hurt? How?

just swat it with a shoe, my friend texted.

The rules–the ones the RAs told us at the beginning of the year in hushed whispers, and then never spoke of again–said not to hurt insects. You don’t drown spiders, you don’t burn ants, you don’t swat at moths. And, just like all the other sometimes-nonsensical rules, I’d kept to them.

But there was another rule, one that got passed by word of mouth and rumor-has-it, that spoke of helping those who needed it. Of an injured football player who’d helped an old woman cross the street, and found his injury miraculously healed. Of the girl who fed a stray dog, and found herself in possession of a cereal box that was never empty. Of the kid who’d ignored the pleas of a man with a misspelled cardboard sign on the corner, and had never been seen again.

I took a deep breath. This wasp thing–whatever it was–was a strange thing, like all the other strange things at this university. And when you’re dealing with strange things, the rule goes, you follow all the rules. Which meant no swatting or shoes. It also meant–

“Do you need my help?”

The wasp-thing looked at me with glittering eyes.

Regally, it nodded.

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Stuck In Paradise (FEDA Day 7)

I unfortunately couldn’t post for a few days because of technical difficulties. This one is a bit longer than most of my oneshots, 1772 word count. Simon and Baz get stuck together for Spring Break, hope you enjoy! @snowbaz-feda

Simon

Spring holidays were never Simon’s favorite but they’d never been that bad either. Agatha would have him over for the week and they would usually have a fancy brunch with pastel table settings on Easter Day. Overall it was too short and a tad boring.

But now that Agatha had broken up with Simon he was stuck spending the week in Watford. Baz had left two days ago, which he’d thought would make him happy. Now Simon was wishing he had someone to yell at, it would be better than staring at a wall all day until he fell asleep. 

He was about to start throwing spitballs on Baz’s bed when he heard the sound of footsteps coming from the stairwell to their room. Simon sat up, excited for the commotion, and waited to greet his visitor.

Baz walked in, looking pissed off as he carried all his luggage into the room. Simon frowned. Even though Baz was better than nothing, he still had been hoping for someone like Penny. 

“Why are you back so early?” He asked.

Baz threw his bags down.

“Why do you think that’s any of your business?”

Simon sighed.

“So we’re right back to normal?”

Baz glanced at him, eyebrows raised.

“Oh, did you expect us to take a break from our being sworn enemies to go on a holiday retreat? Maybe we could go camping in the Wavering Wood or swimming with the merwolves.” 

Simon rolled his eyes.

“Ha-ha, you’re so clever. I just meant, maybe we could take it a little easier since we’re the only two on campus.”

Baz shook his head and turned back to putting his things away.

“The Mage is here too isn’t he? Why don’t you spend the afternoon with him?”

Simon groaned and fell back on his bed.

“No, he’s not actually. Not even Ebb is here. She left yesterday to visit her family. I’ve been so bored,” He said.

“I don’t think that’s really my problem Snow,” Baz replied.

Simon rolled onto his stomach to watch Baz pack the rest of his things. He wasn’t in uniform. Instead he was wearing jeans and a V-neck t-shirt. Simon couldn’t stop staring at his jeans. It was too weird, Baz in such casual clothing. In fact, what was weirder was that he looked good in them, like it was natural. But, Simon reasoned, everything was natural for Baz, the tosser. 

“C’mon, it’s not like you have anything better to do,” Simon said.

Baz turned to stare at him in disbelief.

“Are you seriously suggesting we spend time together?”

Simon shrugged.

“Sure, just for the week anyways. There’s nobody else to hang out with.”

Simon stood and walked over to their bedroom door and opened it. Slouching against the wall, he glanced back over at Baz. Carelessly, he gestured to the open doorway.

“Besides, “ Simon said, playfully, “It might be illuminating.” 

Baz glared at him for a moment, his shoulders rigid. Finally he sighed and grabbed a jacket. With an angry grunt he pushed his way out of the room. Simon followed behind him excitedly.

“Fine,” Baz muttered, “But we’re playing football. If I have to spend time with you I might as well kick your ass on the field.”

Baz

Things were getting dangerous. It was day two of spending time with Snow and already Baz was imagining ridiculous scenarios. When they played football he imagined tackling Snow to the ground and making it on the Pitch. When they snuck into the kitchen he thought about licking the butter off the corner of Snow’s mouth (which was truly disturbing but nevertheless enticing).  It was worse now, while they sat and ate lunch on the Great Lawn together, like a picnic date out of some movie.

“This is weird,” Baz mumbled.

“What? Us getting along?” Snow asked.

Baz thought back on all his useless fantasies.

“If that’s what you want to call it,” Baz said.

Snow snorted and lay back on the grass behind them

“You’re so set on being enemies that you can’t even let yourself enjoy a nice afternoon.”

Baz lay back too, wishing he could relax into Snow but settling for laying inches away from him.

“You make it sound so easy, forgetting about everything. We’re enemies for a reason Snow.”

“Are we really though?” Snow asked, “Enemies, I mean.”

Baz laughed.

“Um, yes? I’ve tried to kill you at least once before.”

Snow turned and Baz felt his heart run rampant.

“No you didn’t. You tried to destroy me, not exactly the same thing.”

Baz turned and wished he could close the distance between them, mere inches of grass separated their lips.

“Isn’t it though? I guess it might be worse,” Baz said.

“Maybe,” Snow agreed softly.

“And it doesn’t matter?” Baz asked, with a tiny glimmer of hope in his chest.

Snow studied his face for a moment and then turned away.

“Of course it matters. But it doesn’t mean that we have to hate each other or that we can’t…move forward.”

“Hm,” Baz said.

So then, it mattered. But not in a way that meant Baz would always be the villain. He could try, if he wanted to. He could give Snow’s suggestion a chance.

Simon

Baz was following close behind Simon, howling with laughter. Simon ignored him and stormed back towards their room. His shoes squelched uncomfortably as he walked and he felt a shiver crawl up his back from the wind.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Baz gasped out.

“I am not talking to you,” Simon snapped.

“You actually ran, I mean ran, into the moat. And all because I told you there was a wasp on your shoulder.”

Simon growled.

“I don’t like them and you shouldn’t have messed with me like that.”

“Snow, you do realize there are real, live merwolves in the moat right? And you ran to them, willingly, to escape a wasp of all things.”

Simon stomped up the stairs to their room and ignored the sound of Baz’s laughter. In truth, it was pretty funny. But Simon was embarrassed and didn’t want it to show.

When they got in the room Simon began to take off his wet clothes. As he kicked off his pants, he noticed Baz was eyeing him with an expression that screamed what do you think you’re doing, you git?? It took him a moment to figure out why Baz was so uncomfortable. Then he remembered that they usually didn’t change in front of each other, out of some kind of fear of being vulnerable to one another. Simon was surprised to realize he no longer felt that fear.

“I think, given certain events from today, it’s safe for us to change in front of one another. After all, you already know my true weakness,” Simon said, attempting to cut through the tension.

“I’ll keep wasps in mind,” Baz muttered, avoiding Simon’s gaze.

Simon picked up his wet clothes and threw them in the bathtub then he grabbed his clean clothes. He was about to ask Baz if it was okay to take a shower when he realized that he still wouldn’t look at him. 

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked.

Baz shook his head.

“Nothing. I just…”

Simon waited.
“I think I’ll get us food, while you clean up.”

Baz stood and left the room.

Simon walked back into the bathroom slowly, his thoughts in a jumble. Sometimes Baz got awkward like that, especially when Simon stood just a little too close to him. He used to think it was because Baz hated him. Now though, he wasn’t so sure.

Baz

Baz waited impatiently for Snow to come out of the shower. Images from earlier kept playing through his head and spinning out of control. He just wanted to go back to the easy dynamic of the earlier part of the day and forget Snow’s almost naked body. As if he could forget. Baz groaned internally at the thought of spending the rest of break pretending he was satisfied with just being friends.

Snow walked out of the bathroom wearing pants but no shirt. When he saw Baz he smiled widely. Baz wondered if it was possible for his heart to physically jump from his chest.

“You’re the best,” Snow said.

Baz watched as Snow stuffed his face with food. 

“Hardly,” Baz murmured.

Snow sucked on his thumbs after he scarfed down the rest of his meal. Baz had allowed Snow to watch him eat but under the condition that Snow didn’t ask why Baz covered his mouth. It seemed like he might ask though, with the way he was looking at his mouth.

“Baz, how do you feel about me?”

Baz looked away.

“You’re surprisingly tolerable.”

Snow pushed forward a bit, putting his hands on either side of Baz’s thighs. He looked up in surprise and found that once again Snow’s eyes were focused on his mouth. Was this happening? Probably not. But Merlin, did he want it to be happening. 

“Just tolerable?”

“Well,” Baz conceded, “Maybe more than tolerable…”

Snow smiled briefly and then he was pressing his lips against Baz’s. He felt himself sigh against Simon, surrendered to the feel of the kiss. He wasn’t really sure what to do with his mouth, or where to put his tongue, but he felt happier than he’d ever remembered feeling before. Snow opened his mouth and waited, waited to see if Baz would allow him to deepen the kiss. He opened his mouth carefully, not sure if he was even doing it right. But then Snow was kissing him deep and Baz let his brain shut off and just kissed him back. 

Dizzily, Baz broke the kiss and stared at Snow. There was warmth in his eyes and blood in his cheeks.

“You want this…with me?” Baz asked.

“Yes,” Snow said.

“But after everything else are you sure that you can-“

Snow leaned forward and kissed Baz’s cheek. The gesture was somehow more intimate than the kissing had been, more personal than anything Snow could have said.

“Kiss me,” Snow whispered.

And so he did. 

After an hour or so of kissing they eventually tired out and rested in each other’s arms. 

“Does this mean we’re going out?” Baz asked.

“Yes,” Snow said.

“Bet we make for the best spring holidays gossip?” Baz asked.

“Oh,” Simon replied, “We’ll make for the best gossip for the entire year.”

He smiled. 

Baz knew that even though holidays were ending in a day or so that he could face the rest of term. In fact, he was pretty sure he could face anything.

anonymous asked:

One of them is a dragonrider. He really loves his duty - and his dragon, but relationships would be much easier if the damn wyrm wasn't so jealous of his attention and picky on who's worthy of their rider...

The working title for this is: Five Times Clint’s Dragon Prevented Him From Having Sex and the One Time She Approved of his Partner

Needless to say that this has some other ships besides ClintCoulson.  It’s also NSFW!

There is a read more!

“I’m sorry, she usually doesn’t leave me at the bottom of the tower,” Clint said, eying his date as the walked up the spiral staircase to the top of the Tower of Dragons. The hike up the stairs was really killing the passion that had started below at the festival.  Clint frowned, wishing he hadn’t stupidly claimed the highest apartment in the tower.  Draka always waited for him to fly him up though until now.

Apple, no, Strawberry, nope that wasn’t right either.  Cherry? Yes, Cherry!  Cherry looked at him and then looked up.

Only halfway there, Clint thought following her look.  

Cherry huffed, before turning.  "This is so not worth it"

“Cherry,” Clint called down to her, following her for a few steps.  "C'mon, we’ll be there in no time.“

“No way,” Cherry declared, gesturing wildly as she walked downstairs. “Totally not worth it.”

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zerozerostuff-deactivated201706  asked:

I was going to make a bee pun but now I'm just genuinely worried for you... Is everything ok hon :O

My dude it really is fine this isn‘t the first nest we have to get out of the house :’)

Look at all these bees

ohmygodohmygodohmygod theres a bee in my room and its wings are super loud, i heard it alst night but chose to ignore it becuase i was almost asleep anyway. bu t then i saw it land  on my bed just a minute ago and i turned all my liights off, turned the hallway light on, waited a few minutes,,, and i now i have no idea where it isssss

Things I want: All female Marvel film

Main Kickass Team: Black Widow, She-Hulk, Captain Marvel, Spider Woman, Mockingbird, Wasp and Kate Bishop all kicking ass and taking names.

Sassy and equally kickass back up team: Maria Hill, Pepper Potts, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, Melinda May and Sharon Carter.

Possible cameo: Peggy Carter

Just lovely: Roger Langridge’s The Kirby Alphabet, with everyone from Kamandi to the Puppet Master, Big Barda to the King himself. (As first published in the UKCAC98 booklet.)