I had a dream last night that there was this little known Shrek horror movie that started off in a cheesy “so bad it’s good” fashion but then suddenly it was about people losing things into the sewer system where nothing but mutated rats could survive.
Fiona loses a shoe or something down there along with this plot relevant key, because they live in this slum apartment building where the washing machine drum inexplicably has a doggy door to a chute that leads to the sewers.
Eventually both are brought back to them by Donkey, who is soldiering on somehow in the sewers and begging to be rescued (all openings have thick bars over them). He’s caked in mud and thin as a rail, blathering about rats. One scuttles in and Donkey cowers in a corner as it goes into a nearby hole…into a room filled with poisonous gas. The rat calls out in its death throes for revenge to be taken on Donkey and there’s a cut to this huge, buff bipedial rat who sends out assassins.
This plot thread never gets resolved.
Shrek and Fiona also keep coming across this small Japanese man who looks like he’s about 200 years old, and who moves around like he’s stop motion animated. His face sometimes flashes over the screen at seemingly random times to scare the viewer.
So anyway, Shrek and Fiona somehow manage to take a look into the past where they learn that at some point Yubaba slipped on some children’s drawings that were on display in the sewer for some reason and died. There’s also a trip to like sengoku jidai Japan where they see a mail carrier kid they later realize is the old guy they keep seeing.
Then all of that gets abandoned and it becomes a live action film where a cop finds a man responsible for a series of heinous crimes pleasuring himself in the bathtub while being arrested.
In the dream I had suggested watching the Halloween Shrek not knowing what it was and my horror-loving friend was enthusiastic. After watching it though I was trying to figure out how to let him down gently when said friend walked in, smacked the movie out of my hand, and began to stomp on it.