was way more attractive than i expected it to be

ineptshieldmaid  asked:

Sam I have an important Chicago question: just north of the DuSable bridge there is a statue of what looks like Abe Lincoln excitedly taking a man in a knitted sweater on a first date. I only saw it from a bus, so didn't get either a photo or an explanation. Can you explain this phenomenon? Are Abe and Sweater Man happy???

*head in hands* FUCKING SEWARD JOHNSON

You have triggered the rage within me, so now you will ALL be treated to an outside-the-readmore screed about SEWARD GODDAMN JOHNSON. 

I don’t normally attack artists because a) it scares my friends who are artists (I love you all, you are beautiful, don’t be afraid) and b) honestly most artists don’t deserve the level of vitriol I’m about to employ. I want you all to remember that the seething hatred I feel for Seward Johnson is driven in large part by class consciousness. 

But not entirely. So let’s begin. 

First what you have to know is that Seward Johnson is a “sculptor”. If you google “seward johnson sculpture” you’ll get an idea of his work, most of which is terrible. I feel okay calling his work terrible because he is also the scion of the family that founded SC Johnson Johnson & Johnson (my bad), so he has all the money he needs and could step back, do his art for funsies, and let people with actual talent or two original thoughts in their heads exhibit their art, but he doesn’t, he forces his terrible art on all of us. 

The reason I harbor such animosity towards Seward Johnson is that he has been exhibiting on Pioneer Plaza (that area north of the DuSable Bridge) for almost a decade now, and when I worked in the north loop I had to walk past his art every day. It was bad enough when the sculpture was American Gothic, rendered without talent or meaning into three dimensions and provided with luggage. 

How very fucking dare you, you talentless hack

These things are sculpted out of what amounts basically to styrofoam painted in rubberized/weatherized paint, so they are fragile, and tourists were constantly climbing on Farmer’s shoes and falling into them when they found out it wasn’t the cheap but supple fiberglass you would expect of a tacky monstrosity more suited to a roadside motel than the business district of a major metropolitan city. (I would imagine this is why Abraham Lincoln And The Mayonnaise Sandwich has a little fence around it.) 

But American Gothic Motel Attraction was mostly just annoying because it was meaningless, derivative, and CONSTANTLY covered in gawkers getting in everyone’s way. 

Additionally, Seward Johnson’s sculptures on the Plaza are very popular photo spots for tourists, who carry lots of cash and are constantly distracted, which means beginning with The Assault On American Gothic it became a very popular spot for pickpockets. Which means members of our staff, who had nothing to do with this mess, got pickpocketed as collateral damage about once a week during the exhibition of…. 

Forever Marilyn.

SEWARD JOHNSON GO FUCK YOURSELF

This is a very famous image of Marilyn Monroe which is horrifying for the following reasons that Seward Johnson appears not to have understood nor cared about:

a) The day this was shot, on an open set with people leering at her all day, her husband, professional athlete and dirtbag Joe DiMaggio, found out about the filming. Rather than comfort his wife, who had been through some shit already that day, he became angry she’d been showing her panties in public and beat her so badly the neighbors called the police on him. Joe DiMaggio also go fuck yourself. 

b) IT’S IN A MOVIE INFAMOUSLY SET IN NEW YORK. To quote a local newspaper, “Did Chicago lose a bet?”

c) Yes, you can look up and see her panties. While this is juvenile, it’s not nearly as juvenile as the literally thousand of photographs I angrily photobombed of some douchebro from Fuckville Middle America in a backwards baseball cap standing between her legs with his face tilted upwards and his tongue out. 

Oh and btw before it was unveiled it looked like this: 

For literal days, before it was installed, she had a bag over her head. (For more on this, though the pictures are now missing, you can read my reaction post here.)

In any just world, there would be a trap door between her legs and everyone who tried to do the upskirt shot would fall into a pit where they would be forced to give five dollars to women’s shelters before they were allowed to leave. THAT would have been interesting art. 

Sidebar, both as contrast and because I love it: Marilyn left a few years ago and was briefly replaced by a refreshing and beautiful piece called The Watch, by Hebru Brantley. The Watch was playful and interesting and didn’t have a single upskirt. Hebru Brantley is a wonderful artist in his own right, but he was also a welcome breath of fresh air after Johnson’s mediocre tribute to sexual assault. 

The Watch was a temporary installation, however, and eventually along came Abraham Lincoln Approves Of White Men

It is an unfortunate coincidence that Confused Closeted Republican there is wearing khakis and a white shirt, the new uniform of the alt right, and it’s also coincidence that this is facing Trump Tower, but it’s not exactly helping Seward Johnson’s cause that he chose the blandest outfit possible for Paean To Confused White Bread. The sculpture is meant to be Lincoln, the darling of Illinois, welcoming a visitor to our fair city, but it sure does look like fresh meat is about to get a free trip to Boys Town with the Sixteenth President of the United States. 

This is what I mean when I say Seward Johnson lacks not only skill but also understanding: he clearly didn’t know that Lincoln’s sexuality is under enough debate to have its own wikipedia page, and he either didn’t know or didn’t care that Marilyn Monroe was nearly killed by her husband for shooting that scene. All he cares about is image and he’s bad at reproducing image. That is not a well-executed rendering of how human beings are, and dynamically speaking it’s boring. If he were good at visuals or if he had something meaningful to say I would be less angry, but he is mediocre at best and the statements his sculptures make are banal pap if they make any at all. 

But he is rich, and I guess either he likes Chicago or he’s got blackmail on Sam Zell, owner of Pioneer Plaza, so he gets to spatter his hideous, meaningless masturbation in my city. And lest you think Seward Johnson got here on his own merits, Forever Marilyn, now on tour from coast to coast, is owned by The Sculpture Foundation, which is heavily subsidized by Seward Johnson. He basically founded a nonprofit to ensure his work gets toured around and publicized and to ensure that if no museum wants it, it has a place to go to die (Palm Springs, CA). 

In short, I hope Abe and Sweater Man are happy, because at least then something good has come out of Seward Johnson’s astounding mediocrity. That said, if you are passing his latest work, spit on it for me. As performance art.

What it’s Like to Be Demiromantic

About the flag

The demiromantic flag uses the colors from the aromantic flag, since demiromantic falls under the aromantic umbrella. Green is the opposite of red, which is traditionally a romantic color, and is represented as such on the flag. The white represents platonic relationships. The grey represents grey-romantic, and the black represents aromantic.

What does demiromantic mean?

When someone experiences romantic attraction only after forming an emotional connection with the person.

Myths and Misconceptions:

Needing to know someone before wanting a relationship with them. It’s much more than that, it’s needing a close emotional bond. Also, you can want relationships without feeling romantic attraction. Wanting a relationship and romantic attraction don’t always go hand-in-hand

What is it like to be  demiromantic

  • Really I’ve not had a lot of time as having accepted myself as being demiromantic to go off of. So all I can really say is that it can be confusing and frustrating. There’s always an expectation that you’re supposed to feel romantic attraction to your sexual partners, and it’s easy to feel guilty about not feeling that way, and to wonder why you haven’t developed romantic feelings for them, even though you are close. I’ve started thinking of demiromanticism as “the potential to feel romantic attraction to people only once a close emotional bond is formed, instead of just :feeling romantic attraction to people only once a close emotional bond is formed” because it more aligns with how I’ve experienced my own demiromanticism. Not every person I have a super close connection with with then start being a target of romantic attraction for me. But the only people I ever have felt romantic attraction for have been people I’ve had a super close connection with. So it’s more like I have a pool of people who I’m close with, and of those people I develop romantic attraction to some of them. Just like someone who’s bi has a pool of people who are of the genders they’re attracted to and of those people they develop attraction to some of them.
  • What it’s like to be Demiromantic:
    • “What? That’s not a thing” - Every non aro-spec person
    • Wondering if you want to risk your friendship with the person you like by asking them out. Everytime. No exception.
    • What are crushes?? Do they exist?? Idk
    • Not knowing if you are just aromantic
    • Being the only kid who doesn’t date (I mean it. Everyone around starts dating between 6th and 8th grade. Then there you are, probably haven’t actually dated or dated someone you actually had romantic feelings for.)
    • The fear of no one liking you back
    • Liking the same person for years
    • The ability to quickly get over someone (on the condition they stop talking to you or something like that)

Contributions by:

@fluidityproblems

@a-polite-melody

Vegas

Vegas | Tease | Oops | D | Game | Mistake

Note: Whoo! Two days in a row, go me. I think I’ve got my mojo back.

Requests:  

  1. fluff. daveed. this is all i ask for. maybe a little smut?😏😏
  2. dom daveed SMuT pLS
  3. Diggs + smut = my request
  4. PLSPLSPLS MORE DAVEED SMUT IAM A TH I RST Y BITCH JAHJ
  5. Daveed x reader where reader claims that she always has to fake orgasms when she’s with a guy and he says that he can change that and it ends it smuttttt

Word Count: 2711

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: SMUT and lots of it

“So a guy’s never made you come before?” Oak asked with his jaw hanging a bit open.

“Nope,” you said nonchalantly while scrolling through your Twitter mentions.

It was intermission of the second show of the day and you, Oak, Anthony, and Jasmine were all hanging out in Oak’s dressing room, talking about random topics. Now, the topic seemed to be focused on you because you had accidentally let the fact that you had never had a real orgasm during sex slip into the conversation.

“Ever?” Anthony pressed in disbelief, somehow not believing you.

“Never ever.” You confirmed, looking up to see all three pairs of eyes on you. “What?”

“Do you tell them what they’re doing wrong?” Jazzy asked.

“With the first couple of guys, yeah, but after a while, I just stopped because it wasn’t working anyway. I didn’t want to make them feel bad about themselves, so I just started faking orgasms every time. I just finish myself off after they go to clean up or something.” You shrugged.

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anonymous asked:

wasn't the gay friends thing him talking from a general emo person's perspective? obvs it's about him in reality but he intentionally didn't phrase it that way and idk people being like "haha dan outed himself yay :))))" makes me so uncomfortable like accidental outing is one of my biggest fears

it was definitely phrased in a general way, but layered with the kind of understood foundation that he was speaking from personal experience. it reminded me of the march 21 live show when he was like talking about not needing to label your sexuality and queer being a good umbrella term, framed as general statements, but the knowledge of which would be very weird for someone who wasn’t queer or wasn’t emo and going through this shit, in the case of today’s comments. like he would have no claim or authority over making those assertions without more rationale unless he was speaking from his own perspective/opinion/past experience. i totally understand the fear with accidental outing but i don’t think any of the comments dan makes about his own sexuality are in ANY WAY accidental. i think that he’s been trying very hard for over a year now to have people recognize and validate his same gender attraction without needing to make any overt statements or formal declarations of his sexuality. without needing to “come out” in a traditional sense basically. it seems v important to him to normalize the possibility of people not being straight without having to label themselves as such to the public. so i believe that’s why he makes statements like the ones he made today (though today’s were possibly more explicit than any of the ones he’s made before) bc as nice of a thought as it is to expect/want people not to assume youre hetero when you express so much attraction to men, the world is still pretty damn heteronormative. so dan occasionally feels the need to spell it out even more explicitly and it feels rly amazing and liberating and inspiring in a way to see him do that, to exist as he is and speak about wanting queer friends and whatnot, without giving in to the pressure to turn a statement like that into some kind of grand declaration or meditation on his identity.. so, in short, those statements felt really exciting and special and nice to me, nothing to be worried about. i don’t think dan would say anything about himself that he doesn’t feel comfortable knowing people are going to discuss to death for weeks. 

(s)AINT

Another one-shot I wrote for @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash‘s second Writing Challenge. I honestly have no idea where I found the courage to actually post this, but there you have it, some priest!Negan smut… With a twist. 

Synopsis: Father Negan, the new priest in town, sparks the interest of Angelica, a girl who used to live there and is back only for the weekend.

Warnings: cursing, blasphemy galore, major priest kink, dirty talk, spanking, sliiiight name calling, unprotected sex.

Word count: 3379

Originally posted by jdm-negan-mcnaughty

The sun was starting to set as Angelica pulled her ash blonde hair up into a tight bun and applied a thin layer of colorless lip gloss over her rosy lips.

She was staying at her aunt’s place for a few days and couldn’t believe her younger cousin Maria had persuaded her to go to church with her. There wasn’t much to do in this small town anyways, so she’d agreed to join her for evening mass, despite the fact that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in the presence of a bible.

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normalisjustafairytale  asked:

Ive watched it so many times myself. I....... actually think I love it more than the sex scene? Maybe thats because I wasnt expecting it at all to be on the level it was. Nor that in full view of EVERYONE Jon and Dany would invade each others bubbles like they did. Let alone flirt like they did. Jon is so clearly making his attraction to her known in the most understated way and shes fully acknowledging it in her own understated but somehow loud way. And i just CANNOT WITH THESE TWO.

I agree completely omg. It was just so ESTABLISHED and COUPLE-Y for them to sit off to the side in a little hidden alcove and talk about how Jon is so not convinced that she can’t have a child and plans to but that theory to the test ASAP all while complimenting and pep talking the hell out of Dany. 

Who had such a rare and significant moment of vulnerability and humility??? Saying her family aren’t special, that they are just ordinary? We have never heard this kind of talk about Valyrians of Targaryens from her. I keep saying she is going to be so changed after this war and ditch this whole “I’m the queen” quest and I think we are seeing the start of it already. 

And Jon sees it too and maybe he’s ok with her changing courses, but not with her thinking any less of her magnificent self. So he’s just being supportive and wonderful as always. And I live for it. They are the best OTP I don’t understand how anyone with a pulse doesn’t love it. 

pissed

Dan x reader

Part two

Request: Anon- Angry dan. You can fill in the rest ;) I just want some pissed off dan

warnings- smut, swearing, jealous/angry dan

sorry not a full smut, it took me a while to do the last one and i’m tired now lol. I’ll probably do a part 2 if anyone wants it and reminds me.

-

You smile up at PJ, this being the first time you had seen each other in a while. You had been friends since Primary school and you used to hang out all of the time. In fact, he was the one who introduced you to your current boyfriend, Dan.

“I’ve got to go, have a date in a few hours.” PJ says, standing from the couch.

“Ooh. Who’s the luck lady? Or man, I don’t judge.” You say raising your eyebrows.

“No, y/n. It’s not Chris.” He laughs, causing you to laugh as well.

“Dammit.” You say, standing up to walk him to the door.

“Just this girl I met at Starbucks last week.” He answers. I nod and we start to the front door.

“Have fun PJ, use a condom.” You tell him, pulling him into a hug. He laughs and hugs you back. He opens the front door and pulls you into another short hug, kissing your temple, and walking down the hallway to the lift. Dan comes up behind you and closes the door, pinning you to it.

“What the hell was that?” He asks.

“Um… PJ?” You answer.

“No, I mean the excessive closeness the whole time he was here, then the two hugs and a kiss.” Dan says, leaning closer to you. You could feel the anger radiating off of him in waves.

“He’s my friend and we haven’t seen each other in ages. Calm down, Dan. PJ and I’s relationship is totally platonic. You don’t have to be angry.” You explain calmly.

“I’m not angry, I’m fucking pissed.” he grunts, backing away from you a bit.

“Or Danny boy is jealous.” Phil shouts from the lounge. I laugh and push Dan back a bit.

“Shut up, Phil.” Dan yells. I pass Dan and head to the kitchen to grab a snack. I’m leaning against the counter eating an apple that we for some reason have in the flat when Dan returns to me, still looking pissed off.

“Do you think PJ is attractive?” Dan asks, putting his hands on either side of your waist.

“Dan, what does that have to do wi-”

“I asked you a question, princess. I expect you answer it. Now, do you think PJ is attractive?” He asks. You roll your eyes slightly.

“Yes, Daniel. But you are more attractive than him, and I love you, so calm down.” You answer. He grunts and presses himself up to you.

“Have you ever thought about him in any way besides platonic?” he asks lowly.

“Dan, why are you-”

“Answer the bloody question. Honestly.” He demands.

“When I was younger, yes.”

“Oh is that so?” He asks.

“Dan, I don’t know why you’re so jealous.”

“You think he can fuck you better than I can.” He says, making eye contact with you, but talking more to himself.

“Dan I never said-” You start. Dan interrupts you with his lips pressed quickly and hardly against yours. You kiss him back. Jealous Dan was annoying at times, but also debatabley the hottest Dan.

His eyes shadow over and he looks at you with this glare that makes you so intimidated yet turned on that you want to fall to your knees and suck him off then and there.

He starts bringing you in the direction of the bedroom, pushing you into the bed when you get there. He straddles your hips and boxes your head in with his arms. He starts trailing kisses down your skin.

“He thinks he can fuck you good.”

“He doesn’t know how to make you this wet, does he y/n?”

“My precious little cock slut is all mine, isn’t she?”

His dirty words continue just as his lips do down your body. He kisses your inner thighs leading up to your core, but skipping over it and starting on the other thigh. You whimper which causes Dan to bring his face back up to yours.

“Bad little sluts don’t get what they want, do they?”

ordinarylittleme  asked:

Oh, we can request fanfiction? Can you write something where Harry smokes and Draco does not get enough of him doing that?

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN IN MY INBOX??? OMG!!! I’m so sorry, I didn’t get a notification for this and I can tell that it’s been here a long time because there’s an ask above it that was a test ask from a friend because they thought their asks weren’t sending and THAT was AGES ago, so I guess when I looked at my inbox to check that, I must have just not seen this sitting below it because there are so many old asks in here that didn’t need to be answered bc I never delete anything… I’m so sorry!! Don’t tell me how long it’s been there… I’m going to live in denial land and pretend that it just popped up and tumblr ALWAYS notifies me because tumblr is SO GOOD and yeah lets pretend this never happened… (sorry. you’ve probably already had someone else write this haha)


The bar was dimly lit, and the lilting notes of the saxophone curled through the air like smoke. Draco didn’t have much choice about where he found employment these days — the mark on his arm assured him of that — but he had chosen this. A dingy Muggle bar in the middle of nowhere; where better for an outcast like himself to hide away from everything he’d ever known?

If nothing else, it was a suitable place to while away the years until his name and all unpleasantries associated with it was finally forgotten. Time had no meaning here. The patrons drank and smoked from the second they walked through the doors to the second they stumbled back outside into the quiet night; whatever other duties and obligations their lives contained did not enter through those doors with them. They came here to forget, and Draco was more than willing to help them on their way.

It was for this reason, perhaps, that the sight of a familiar face made his heart stutter and his chest ache with fear and a disturbing sort of longing.

The moment Potter spotted him at the bar, he froze. He was the only person behind the counter, and so their interaction was both inevitable and mercifully stripped of any meaning beyond a simple transaction. And yet, it was personal — it always was with Potter.

“Malfoy,” Potter said, his eyebrows drawing down in confusion.

Draco barely even noticed the way the light fell alluringly across his face, or the way his cheekbones seemed so much sharper, harsher — more attractive — than they had in school. He barely noticed at all.

“I didn’t expect to find you here.” Potter was still talking, and Draco forced his mind away from Potter’s deep green eyes and back to the present.

Potter was sitting down in front of him at the counter. Small drops of water slid down his leather jacket — it must be raining outside, Draco thought, a touch deliriously. He gave his head a small shake.

“No,” he drawled, doing his best to affect the sneer Potter would no doubt remember him for. “I could say the same for you. Passing through?”

Potter shook his head, a strange little smirk on his features. “Just moved to the area.”

Draco’s eyebrows shot up of their own accord. “You moved here?” He turned to look at the entrance, where the grimy windows did nothing to conceal the wintry, dead street outside. “Of your own free will?”

Potter laughed, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a slim, metal case. “Yes. Signed the contract with my own two hands and everything. Double shot of whiskey, thanks. Neat.”

Draco pulled up a glass and selected — a touch spitefully — top shelf scotch that was no doubt not the price Potter had intended.

Potter took the glass, sipped, and gave an obscene sigh of appreciation. “Just what I needed. Thanks.”

He flipped open the lid to the box, and Draco saw it was filled with several thin, black cigarettes.

No. Draco’s head whipped up to face Potter, and he stared at him in surprise — not cigarettes. Cigars. Potter was smoking cigars.

“Want one?” Potter held out the tin to Draco, who shook his head mutely.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Potter laughed again, and the sound didn’t fit with the filthy counter top or the wailing jazz. It was a sound made for racing on broomsticks above the mountaintops. “Take one. And can I buy you a drink? It brings out the flavour of the whiskey — it would be a shame to have it on its own.”

Draco looked around the bar, but no one was waiting. Slowly, feeling as though he was caught in a dream, he reached out to take the cigar from Potter’s hand. It was the same size as a cigarette, but Draco could already smell the rich aroma that made him think of his father’s locked study door. He poured himself a shot of the same, clinked his glass against Potters, and took a sip.

When Potter flicked the lighter and held it out to him, he felt his heart start to hammer wildly in his chest. Looking anywhere but into those green eyes, he leaned forward into the flame.

Potter pocketed the lighter, inhaled, and blew carefully out, a satisfied smirk on his lips. It had been a while since Draco had been offered a cigar, and he relished the taste of the sweet smoke in his mouth, on his tongue.

“Nice?” Potter asked.

Draco nodded, his eyes dropping to Potter’s lips, unable to keep himself from noticing the way they curled around the cigar, caressing it, before parting to blow gently forward. In an attempt to regain some control over the situation, Draco blew three small smoke rings, smirking as they dissolved against Potter’s face.

When his eyes met Potter’s, the look he found there turned his knees into jelly, and he found himself unable to look away. The smoke drifted around the two of them like fog, and Draco was hit with the inevitable knowledge that whenever he now smelled that uniquely decadent smell he would think of Potter.

Potter lifted his glass and swallowed the remaining liquid in one go, his throat highlighted for a moment in the glow of the broken chandelier.

“I’m afraid I have to go.” His mouth twisted into a regretful grimace. “I was only stopping in.”

Draco pushed himself back up from the counter and took a step back. “Good to see you again.”

Potter grabbed a napkin from the beaten up tin on the edge of the counter and scribbled something on it. Then he handed it to Draco with a hesitant smile.

“That’s my address, if you’re free to come over some time.”

Draco took the slip of paper before his mind had registered what his hands were doing. He swallowed. “Thank you.”

Potter grinned, and something passed between them — something that felt out of place in this crumbling ruin of abandoned dreams. The new light in Potter’s eyes told him that he had felt it too.

With a shy wink, Potter slid some notes across the counter and left.

Why we love gay ships

I’ve wondered about this a lot and for a long time. I think at least PART of the reason that people, young women especially, become so attached to gay male ships–canon or not–like Destiel and Johnlock is because it’s two men showing emotion toward each other. We appreciate that it’s a cultural stigma for guys to show affection, especially for each other. But it’s what we crave from them. It’s no secret that we nerdy girls often feel a lack of attention and affection from guys. So the idea of men comfortable not only with treating women well, but men, too? Maybe that’s reassuring. Some of us may find it attractive when a man doesn’t feel the need to reassert his masculinity every time he hugs his buddy. Of course, there is the obvious reason of wanting equal representation as well. This is just my theory. :)

UPDATE: Because this post blew up way more than expected, I would like to clarify something. Fetishizing non-hetero relationships does them a disservice if all they are is a fetish. LGBTQ relationships are real. They are serious. They deserve the same respect society gives hetero couples. Thanks to everyone who has joined the conversation and added some great commentary!

anonymous asked:

Hi there c: Could I request a Eren, Levi and Erwin Modern AU Headcanons of romantic relationships with they're s/o? How would it be and what kind of s/o for them? c: Thank you very much! Keep up the great work!

Eren:

  • Even in a modern AU, Eren would still be traumatized by the events that plagued him as a child. There’s no way fate would let him escape experiencing loss and heartache, no matter how that came. That being said, he is still going to need a s/o that is kind and affectionate and loves him despite his various faults; that can calm down the raging storm inside his heart.
  • They meet randomly, more than likely at a coffee shop or perhaps at a university-sponsored course they both decided to take to expand whatever skill. They end up partnered together for a class project and so they end up spending quite a lot of time together, getting to know one another. 
  • There’s more time for the simple things in a modern AU, so I could definitely see Eren and his s/o going on dates, his hand intertwined with theirs as they did something fun like explore the old downtown part of their city. He has a sweet tooth so they’d often visit ice cream shops together, trying out new flavors and laughing when they happened to get a pretty gross one.
  • His sleep is still full of nightmares, so his s/o would always be waiting there next to him, curled against his side so they could feel the first shiver that indicated his pain. They’d comfort him until he felt safe enough to fall back asleep, running their fingers through his hair soothingly.
  • Over all, there would be a lot of love and affection between the two, and he wouldn’t be ashamed to flaunt that love in public by kissing his s/o’s nose when they were being particularly cute, or capturing their lips with his when they’ve said something incredibly sweet and touching.
  • Eren, being as passionate as he is, is often completely overwhelmed with emotions so he tends to be quite impulsive. Though his s/o might be completely caught off guard, Eren would find himself wanting his hands all over his s/o’s body even in the more inappropriate places, and it’s all his s/o can do to calm the savage beast until they get home and Eren can continue touching exactly where he wants to.

Levi:

  • Being in a relationship with Levi in modern AU wouldn’t change that much–he would still be very distant and closed off, and just like Eren there is no way fate would let him escape the tragedy he’s destined to experience as a child. He has issues trusting and letting people in, so getting to know him would still be a feat in itself; he would need someone very determined to break down his walls.
  • More than likely his s/o would need to work with him because Levi so rarely goes out in public to do anything but work, so establishing a relationship with him would be very hard unless they saw him every single day and had reason to talk to him.
  • They’re more than likely his assistant, and they’d have to have a pretty dedicated work ethic in order to keep up with his expectations. He finds himself attracted not only to their physique but also just how hard they work to achieve not just results, but nearly perfect ones.
  • It would still have to be them who pursued him in the end, not the other way around, but I do believe Levi in a modern AU would be a little–just a little–more lax and less rough around the edges. For example he could appreciate when someone looked attractive, and he would be less inclined to hide his approving stares, though he still wouldn’t make it completely obvious.
  • He might flirt, in a very Levi-esque way, by bantering with them a little more and finding small ways here and there to spend more time with them. His self-confidence would still be lacking for him to make the final move to establish a relationship, but lingering glances and touches here and there would give them a clear enough picture of what he wants.
  • There would definitely be office sex since Levi more than likely has a fancy, large office to compensate for the lack of things he had as a child. Levi tends to get impatient, and there’s no way he’s waiting to get home to wash away a stressful day at work when there’s a perfectly good desk right there.

Erwin:

  • Erwin would, no matter the time period, find himself still as busy as he’d ever been–he takes up difficult, strenuous work and finds some martyr-like goal in order to distract himself from his darkest thoughts. 
  • He would be just as charming as ever, except this time there’s not the looming threat of death on every horizon so he would use that charm in more efficient ways. He’s a very good public speaker, and can convince even the most stubborn of individuals to flip-flop to his idea, so he’s more than likely in something like sales or law.
  • He’s probably working himself to death with paperwork, though, and often finds himself drowning the stress of his job with a glass of bourbon at the closest bar to his work. It’s the only thing that he knows can calm his racing heart and infectious worries about his future. 
  • He’d probably meet his s/o there–they’re bartending and serving him drinks nearly every night during the week that they end up just knowing what he likes and even have it ready for him when he walks in after a tough day at work.
  • They talk whenever the shift isn’t too busy, first about his work, then onto deeper subjects like his childhood and his regrets. They form a bond that has each of them looking forward to speaking, Erwin realizing that it’s no longer the drink that’s calming his anxious mind but rather the silly bartender he’s decided to open up to.
  • When Erwin doesn’t show up one night, they more than likely get worried, and decide to visit his office during their break to check up on him. They find him hovering over mountains of paperwork at his desk, completely alone in the dark building and totally surprised to see them. This inevitably ends up in intimacy, both of them overwhelmed by the thick sexual tension and spurred on by the meaningful bond they’ve developed over the past few months.
10

(meta by the wonderful @lyledebeast​!!! thank you for letting me be a part of this post!)

One thing that I wish was more widely recognized among BBC Robin Hood fans is that the “other side” that various characters identify in Guy of Gisborne, including Guy himself, is a real thing that exists.  It doesn’t erase his behavior that is callous and cruel and violent, but it stands in stark contrast to that, defying simplification for those who will actually look at it.  Marian sees this from very early on, even in season one when Guy is at his most straightforwardly wicked.  She sees that he’s a human being, that his feelings for her are honest, and that he has the capacity for compassion and selflessness, even if he often fails to do what she sees as being the right thing. Robin, on the other hand, doesn’t begin to recognize this until long after Marian is dead.

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A Dangerous Game (Suho Mafia!au fic) Chapter 7 - The Lion & The Dragon Pt. 2

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

Warnings: None

Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8 Ch. 9 Ch. 10 Ch. 11 Ch. 12 Ch. 13 Ch. 14 Ch. 15(M) Ch. 16 Ch. 17(M) Ch. 18

In that moment, it wasn’t the fact that I had somehow crossed paths with two members from rival mafias that was making me uncomfortable. It was the stares that I was receiving from around the room; anger, worry, guilt, judgement…it was a mixture, a different one from each of men.

“I need to make a couple of phone calls,” Junmyeon said, walking past me, “Sehun help her pick out something to wear for tomorrow…I guarantee there will be a couple of places tomorrow.”

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Seokjin Scenario: The Outsider.

Request: Ola~ A cute funny scenario where you are a single Mom & Taehyung is your son but he is very protective of you. All your past relationships were unfruitful due to his pranks on them until Tae meets his match, Jin your current boyfriend whom you had been dating secretly. Jin extremely long patience and pranks didn’t work on him since he could actually figure and understand Tae out. A cute ending where Tae finally surrenders and let you date Jin with a little threat from Tae . Gracias Admins

Genre: Fluff / Family


– Do you promise me you will be good? – you fixed Taehyung’s sweater, which was falling over his left shoulder and a little crooked but you didn’t have the time to think what in earth had your son done for the hem to end up so stretched out.

Taehyung smiled up at you, all teeth and glee. –Do I need to mom? –

You sighed, standing up. Taehyung was an easy going kid always, sociable, sweet and playful, until he knew you were dating someone. Your son was seven and full of mischief, which shouldn’t have surprised you because of how spontaneous his personality was but it had gotten you in a lot of uncomfortable situations with your dates because Taehyung had played pranks on every single one of them.

–Yes Taehyung, please… Seokjin is nice, it would be great if we can cause a good impression on him, for me Tae–

He sighed dramatically and looked down, Seokjin was visiting over until the nanny came to take care of Taehyung because she was late and you were a little terrified inside because you liked Jin a lot, you were more into him than what you‘d been in your past relationships so you’d been seeing him without being obvious about it in front of Taehyung because you believed he could be the right one for you, that was if Taehyung didn’t scare him off before you had the chance to properly find out. Tonight though, you had to tell him that a friend was coming over for a little while and Taehyung wasn’t dumb, even thought little, he didn’t like to see other men interacting with you and always tried to get them away from you.

–But why do you need to see him mommy? – He stared at you with his precious eyes and you felt scrutinized, if you spoke seriously to him about how much you liked Jin things could go either great, or terribly wrong, and with Taehyung you never knew.

–Because he’s nice Tae, and… and especial to me, alright? –

Taehyung furrowed his little brows as if he was thinking hard. –You say I’m special too –

You laughed softly, petting his hair. –Yes, you two are special Tae– your son’s frown deepened but you didn’t see it, you busied yourself ordering a little around and picking any stray toy until the bell rang.

Taehyung jumped from his spot in form of the TV and ran towards the door, saying he was going to open it. Maybe you should have doubted his intentions at that moment, but you thought he was only excited. When Taehyung came back to sit in front of the TV, he was alone.

–Who was it honey? –

–A man who was lost mom –

You let the biscuits you’d been placing on a plate aside way too fast and ran to the door, when you opened it, Seokjin was standing at the porch with his hands on his pockets.

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RG: Taunted (Pietro)

here is another one. I assume it’s part three, i can’t quite remember how many ones i’ve done right now. I just keep adding more words. Anyhow! Here!

one // two


“My brother has a crush on you.” Wanda announces, standing in the doorway to the pool room and you slip below the surface, having gone entirely still in confusion. Scrambling some, you paddle to the edge and crawl out, dragging your body over the edge like a sack of sand.

“Sorry. What?” You pant, on your back and entirely not ready to get up.

“My brother will not stop thinking about your flowing hair and luminous eyes and ass from out of this galaxy.” Wanda sighs, a glint in her eyes that you’re sure has more to do with embarrassing her brother than real affection for you.

“My ass has been known for such things. He’ll get over it.” You shrug, bare shoulders scraping the tile uncomfortably and you sit up with a loud sigh. Wanda looks you over, head cocked slightly and you fight a blush. You’re still human.

“He may not. I’ve never heard him use the term “horses eyelashes”.” She hums and you choke, coughing into your lap, laughter tangled with shock in your throat.

“Horses eyelashes?” You wheeze and she shrugs unconcernedly.

“My brother is… Juvenile.” She smirks, and you track her as she wanders to the bench and grabs your towel for you.

“Why tell me these things exactly?” You ask, taking the towel from her gratefully, and her hand when she offers help up. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And like I said, my brother is juvenile and if his attentions aren’t… If they’re fleeting like they often are, I don’t want you getting hurt. It would do a lot of damage to already delicate relationships.” She finally manages, her words coming slow and serious and you wince. She’s right, if Pietro did start something he decided not to finish with you, you might be hurt, then Clint might be angry and Pietro and Wanda adored him, you couldn’t take that away from them.

“And Clint would lose it if he caught Pietro even glancing in my direction.” You singsong, dragging the word out with a grin that Wanda readily reciprocates.

“Exactly.” She smiles, heading back to your things and grabbing your bag for you. “Would you like to watch a movie? Pietro may be uncomfortably obsessed with you but I know barely anything true about you.”

“I’d like to, thank you. Anything you’d like to watch in particular?” You offer and she shrugs noncommittally, her eyes hopeful as she asks you the same question.

“I’ve always been fond of Brave.” You answer casually, her entire expression lighting up as she hands over your things.

“I’ll meet you in an hour? In the theatre?” She chirps and you nod easily. An afternoon of just sitting, relaxing in the company of a girl who isn’t Natasha? These days that’s a novelty.


“What are you doing?” Pietro pesters from the doorway as you stuff a bag with your comfiest blanket. Holding back the urge to jump, you turn to him slowly.

“Steve.” You poke, gesturing to the bag. “He loves a little extra warmth.”

“You are doing Steve?” Pietro coughs, eyebrows rising and you chew your lips, frowning and glancing from him to the bag.

“Uh huh.” You taunt cheerfully, eyeing the drawers that hold your entire candy stash nervously before stalking toward him and shooing him back.

“Steve is too old for you!” He bursts out suddenly, cheeks burning pink and you meet his eyes directly, raising a single eyebrow until his gaze drops away.

“I have lingerie to put on.” You smirk, shutting the door in his face, a loud groan sounding behind it. No use, no use, no use. It’s no use to like him, it’s no use to fall in love with him and it’s no use to let him get caught in your head.

Sliding your drawers open, you pick over the stash carefully, tossing items onto your bed before sliding the drawer closed again. Turning to the bed, you shoved the stash into the bag, grabbed your phone and opened the door. Pietro stood there, fist raised and entirely still.

“You shouldn’t sleep with Steve.” He blurts and you groan loudly, pushing past him as he races around ahead of you, pacing and reasoning until you pass him and he races ahead again.

“Go tell Steve. If you can turn him off our relationship- without letting him know, then I’ll end things.” You promise and Pietros dark expression eases some. You can practically see the ideas in his mind as he grins at you and blurs from your side.

“Hello!” Wanda greets happily, the smirk on her lips telling you that she already knows everything and you laugh.

“He’s so hot! How could I not instantly say him?” You laugh, letting Wanda pull you into the seat beside her.

“Has he ever hugged you? It is the only reason I run to him when I cry! He is so bad at being comforting but his hugs are amazing.” Wanda gushes and you cackle, only for the sound to break off as the door slams open.

“You’re watching a movie without me?” Pietro exclaims from the doorway and your cheeks drain of colour. In that moment, arms bulging and the lights of the hallway backing him, you’ve never seen anything so attractive, not even that time that you glued a lid onto a jar and asked Steve to open it.

“Yes.” Wanda replies primly, obviously immune to the stormy steamy scene in front of you. You swallow hard, turning back to the television without a word and try to ignore the narrow eyed glance you earn from your seat mate.

“Can I join in?” Pietro whines from the door and you sigh deeply before covering your face with your palms. This is difficult. More so than you’d originally expected.


Two thirds of the way through the movie and Pietro has his head on your lap, fingers interlinked with yours and is snoring softly. Throughout the developments into this position you’ve begged Wanda with your eyes to fix this but she just shrugs, eyeing her brother with affection.

“He really likes you. He doesn’t sleep easy since Ultron. Especially with Vision in the house.” Wanda pipes up softly and you sigh. This isn’t fair.

Gently, so as not to wake him, you adjust, turning slightly toward the girl and holding still while he rearranges himself, soft noises passing his lips.

“What was it like, for you guys?” You ask just as quietly and she hums.

“Things were harder. Our childhood had been so easy, so warm and full of light. After the bombing, things sort of… They were never that way again. We’re settling in here, and it’s warm and it’s happy sometimes but it’s still not easy.” She mumbles and you raise an eyebrow, a blush staining her cheeks at the direction of your thoughts. “Most things aren’t easy.”

You shrug when she asks about your own life, before you’d gained whatever it was that allowed you to change the earth so easily.

“There must be something.” She presses and you card your fingers through Pietros hair, gaining time as you try to recall something that won’t paint you in a bad light.

“I liked to- I- I actually raced cars.” You finally manage and her eyes widen, delightedly gesturing for you to go on. “My Dad raced cars and I always helped out on the track and off. So when someone needed a driver, I slipped into the fray and may have accidentally driven in a race against my Dad. My sister was frantic because she’d lost me and after the race when I appeared out of breath she made me promise not to tell Dad that she’d lost me. I came fifth but she nor Dad would ever know that.”

“So it was a one time thing?”

“Oh no. Todd was this guy who worked at the track and said it was him in the car instead of me, despite being terrified of actually driving. Turns out he had a massive crush on me, had for ages and so we just- I raced a few times. They were pleased with the results, I won a couple times which ended in sticky situations but Todd was fantastic. Both at the races and in my bed.” You finish, Wanda laughing softly and you feel Pietros grip on your fingers twitch. He’s awake. And he was listening like a snake in the grass.

“Just how many of your best experiences were while you were in a relationship?” Wanda asks with a grin and you pretend to think on it, tapping your chin.

“Literally all of them.” You laugh, glancing down at Pietro unconsciously. “I won five hundred dollars at the horse races with Jane, then went skiing for the first time with Nick which was amazing. Emmaline took James and I to Vegas. That whole trip was crazy. Let me tell you, being in a poly relationship is not something I’m good at.”

Wanda nods sagely, grinning from ear to ear and you glance back down at Pietro.

“We have to do this again sometime.” You offer earnestly, Wandas agreement coming readily and happily. Even if you didn’t watch much of the movie and you’ve got Pietro glued to you like a sleepy octopus, you still had a good time. “But I need to get to bed. Clint said we’re getting up before sunrise so that we can play target practice. Steve always interrupts at sunrise by running onto the field and acting like an over-endorphined puppy.”

You finish the words by sliding out from under Pietro, and disentangling your fingers from his. A hug takes you by surprise, Wandas arms wrapping around you and you ease into gratefully. It’s not a Steve hug, but it’s fantastic all the same.


“I bet you cannot catch me!” Pietro shouts challengingly, racing by Steve as the man starts to jog toward you and Clint. You glance at Clint in surprise, who shrugs and stares, both of you watching as Pietro baits Steve into a race that they both know he’ll lose. And suddenly the pair are gone, in the other direction.

Clint turns to you slowly, eyes narrowed. “You’ve just gone and let him fall in love with you, haven’t you?”

You blink at the accusation, leant back with your fingers splayed over your chest.

“What am I supposed to do? Trounce around in my ugliest clothes and just be all around disgusting? You know I’m too magnetic for that.” You snipe with a roll of your eyes, only to shrink at Clints expression.

“That’s exactly what you’re going to do.”


ha haaaaaaaa

Missed Moments - Chapter 3

1 week more till I get my A03 account and I can finally move this story over there!

So… I know this scene has been written and re-written countless times but whatever. I know as you’re reading this y’all are expecting #epicboatsex by the end and just so you’re not disappointed. No it’s not gonna happen in this chap.

As I said before, I need a bottle of gin and “Truth” played 50 times on repeat before I can roll out a decent smut scene. But it’s coming… lol pun intended.

There’s a bit of Dany introspection within this chap but it wasn’t that long that it deserved to have its own chap, so I kinda integrated them together since they both culminate in the exact same scene but from different viewpoints. 

Also, I rewrote the BoatTalk scene from 7x06 a little bit different and I definitely rewrote how BoatSex started so, enjoy! 

Spoilers Ahoy! 

Missed Moments Chapters: 1 | 1.5A | 2 

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anonymous asked:

what do u think of the current enjoltaire versus enjonine battle

Hahahaha WAIT. There’s is a CURRENT Enjoltaire vs Enjonine fight? What is this, 2013?!

I don’t know of or care for it, I see 0.6 enjonine posts a year, and I frankly love to stay away from drama and discourse because I love enjoying things.

That being said, Enjolras is canonically uninterested in women and shipping him with a woman seems a little (euphemism) forced and heteronormative the way I see it. But then again, the way I understand it is that some people didn’t read the book and didn’t know about Enjolras’ lack of interest in women when they saw the movie, and our society is tragically heteronormative. A lot of people identify with Eponine and kinda want her unrequited love to be “fixed” with someone who loves her… and who else than the handsome revolutionary next door?

And I’m in no way saying it’s good, erasing Enjolras’ lack of interest in women and homosexual subtext (honestly, is it subtext at this point, Hugo?) isn’t good, but in a way I’m not suprised. Like at all. Because heteronomativity is so inscribed in society it leads to erasure. I was expecting it WHILE watching the movie.

Anyway, I had a point, but I forgot. It’s 8am, and that’s all I’ll post about it because as I said, I don’t care for drama. I think it’s more a canon LGBT+ representation vs Enjonine than it has anything to do with Enjoltaire, actually. And, well, Enjolras is canonically not into women, so that’s sort of a lost fight anyway. Though i’m convinced most Enjonine shippers aren’t trying to hurt anyone, erasing the canon sexuality/attraction or lack thereof of a character who happens to be non-straight for ONCE is doing it indirectly.

Notes on Prosperity Magick

Hey, all. I wanted to write up a quick Prosperity Magick 101 post. 

I’m not going to claim to be an expert. Instead, I’m a witch who has had success with prosperity spells, and I’ve studied them quite a bit. I’m quite in tune with earth energy, which is what prosperity is rooted in, so prosperity spells just really vibe with me. 

So, here are some important lessons I’ve learned about prosperity magick that I wanted to share with you today. 

1. Prosperity Magick Responds Best to Specific Needs

When casting a prosperity spell, be sure that you have a specific need or goal in mind. I also recommend ensuring that it is a sincere one. I’ve never had luck amplifying my income with a prosperity spell when I didn’t need to do so. However, during times that I sincerely needed more money, the energy came quickly and the spells were potent. 

For example, a few years back, I was working two jobs and going to school full-time, barely making ends meet. But, I wanted to study abroad. So, I prepared a money-drawing charm and focused my magick on being able to study abroad. The next time I went to the grocery store, I felt the overwhelming urge to buy a scratch off lottery ticket. It was a feeling I couldn’t sway, so I bought one for $1… and won $1000.

When I was making $35,000 per year and had no financial needs, I tried to make another money draw charm even though I didn’t need anything. Even as I was making it, I could tell that the energy just wasn’t there.

2. Prosperity Is More Than Just Money

Sometimes, it’s tempting to make a prosperity spell that’s just “bring me more money.” 

Prosperity is multifaceted, and when you cast a spell seeking prosperity, you need to be open to whatever forms your prosperity may take in response. 

Let’s say you use a prosperity spell to ensure that you have enough money to cover rent. Keep your eyes open for more than just a sudden influx of cash. Maybe some groceries you always buy go on sale, or you get a decent coupon. Perhaps the weather is clear, and you can walk more and drive less, saving gas money. Situations such as this would give you an opportunity to save money. You may need to help the spell along by identifying these savings and using that money to meet your needs. 

3. Prosperity Spells Don’t Have to be Complex 

Prosperity spells can be incredibly simple. Have access to mint, basil, or sage plants? Just clip a leaf and place it in your wallet or wherever you keep your money. Trust that the plants power will draw money to you. 

One of my favorite prosperity spells is to take a few mint leaves and a few basil leaves, and stitch them up in a flat pouch (green or white cloth with green stitching, preferably). Charge the basil with an intention of banishing poverty, stress, and new debts. Charge the mint with attracting prosperity, comfort, and wealth. Place it in your wallet or wherever you keep your money. Boom. That’s a prosperity spell. 

4. Accept that there may be Some Give and Take

Prosperity doesn’t always look the way we expect it. Shortly after I won the $1000 prize on a scratch off, I was able to buy my plane ticket, but needed more money to ensure that I could eat while abroad. So, I cast another prosperity spell.

Surely enough, I got a job offer at a chain restaurant. It paid a dollar more per hour than the job I had at the independent, locally owned restaurant I already worked at. 

I had to make a trade off. I could have a job I loved that paid less, or a job I didn’t enjoy that paid more. Since it was only in the short term, I chose the job that paid more. If you’re looking at a long run situation, consider if the toll on your mental health and happiness is worth it. 

Being demisexual: what it’s like for me

I grew up thinking it was normal and expected to attach emotionally before you attached sexually; I think my mother was demisexual as a younger woman (I’d say she’s evolved and become fully asexual now) which led me to believe it was normal, as I was fairly isolated and didn’t have much contact with people as friends until I was well past sexual maturity.  In college, to be precise, where I realized nearly everyone was very different from me in forming their sexual attractions.

As a demisexual, I usually only attach to people with sexual feelings one at a time, and it’s very sudden and usually extremely intense.  It can be agonizing– here is this person you’ve come to depend on as a friend and confidante.  Everything is fine.  Then one day you’re walking down the street and suddenly something triggers sexual attraction– a casual touch that activates sexual response, a chance word that makes me think that person might appreciate ME sexually, whatever.  BLIP– and then the whole relationship is set on its ear and is in serious jeopardy.  Invariably, for me the addition of the sexual component destroys the friendship in the long run.  I’ve tried to keep it quiet when I become attracted, but it just makes things worse when they fall apart.  

As a demisexual bisexual, I have lost female BFFs one after the other because all of a sudden after months/years I was suddenly sexually attracted to them and they were heterosexual and found it unacceptable.  

As a demisexual, my best successful friendships are with people I only see online because there’s much less chance of them triggering sexual response, I suppose– or maybe because they’re remote and the emotional attachment isn’t intense enough for me to become sexually responsive.

As a demisexual, I can’t form long-term meaningful friendships with men because they assume I’m romantically interested and snub me from day one, or because they think I’ll never become romantically interested and when I do, they begin to snub me.

As a demisexual, I don’t normally enjoy any form of porn with the exception of fan fiction (if I’m sexually attracted to one of the characters in the fanfiction, otherwise I get nothing out of it).  

As a demisexual, Tinder culture is absolutely baffling and foreign to me.  I can’t even envision myself texting someone once or twice, meeting up, and enjoying a sexual hookup, then wandering off into the blue, ready for the next one.  I can’t comprehend liking to do that.  I read an article about that culture in Cosmopolitan this week, linked to me by @irrealia, and was just… gobsmacked.  How do people do this thing?  Inconceivable.  In a way I’d love to be able to do this, because I have been all but celibate except for a couple of really awkward hookups when I was young and desperate, and I feel horribly lonely and touch-starved.  But my attraction doesn’t operate that way.  I would be repelled by sex with a relative stranger.

As a demisexual I am unaware of sexual dynamics in most relationships between others until someone points them out to me (aka hits me over the head with a clue stick).  

As a demisexual, I do not know how to flirt or signal my sexual availability to another person.  If I make an overt attempt to imitate the flirtations I’ve seen, I upset people because I’m being weird or awkward– to me, naturally demonstrating attraction is acting in way that friends normally act toward one another.

As a demisexual, I receive emails from friends with beefcake or cheesecake pictures in them, or links to sexy videos, and I’m expected to participate in a mutual lust-fest over the pictures.  I stare at these highly toned beautiful bodies or people having sex dully, without interest, going “please don’t send me more of these pictures; I don’t even know who that is.”

As a demisexual, I respond to personalities more than to bodies, looks, or clothing.  

As a demisexual, I enjoyed Obi-Wan Kenobi platonically for over a decade, aware of his sexual attractiveness only as an abstract, viewing Ewan McGregor and Alec Guinness as more or less equal in my esteem until one day I saw Ewan McGregor being sweet and empathic and vulnerable as himself in “Long Way ‘Round” and I suddenly emotionally attached to him and went “HOLY SHIT” and fell head over heels in love.

As a demisexual, I know that if Tom Hiddleston walked in here right now and stripped naked and said “Let’s do it,” I would have one of two responses:  either “I’d better take this chance because I’m never going to get laid again in my life and I know I should want him,” whereupon I would lie there under him feeling vastly uncomfortable, being unable to self-lubricate, and thinking “I could paint the ceiling beige, ugh, there’s a cobweb,” or I would respond “No thank you, Mr. Hiddleston, I know you are a sex god, but I’m unfortunately not interested in you sexually.  Could you invest several months in befriending me first, minimum, then let’s see what happens?”  Same thing for oh, say, Gal Gadot.


This is all just my personal experience, which I conflate in greater or lesser degrees to my demisexuality.  It’s by no means intended to be a statement that all or most demisexuals are like this.  All I know is that one day I saw the term “demisexual” and went and read about it and sat up like I’d been hit by lightning and said “THAT IS ME.”