Man give me not models or gods les amis. They don’t all have like perfect chiseled jaws and take pictures where they look effortlessly great and are the height of fashion and good looks they’re student revolutionaries.
They don’t sleep, eat horribly, drink too much, and are beyond stressed out and you and I both know it to be true. Straight up list of things the amis have:
- Eye bags, they don’t sleep enough for real
- Acne, all of them, even Enjolras
- Soft chubby faces either because of baby chub or because they are chubby
- stretch marks, literally who does not have these
- Big noses, some of them have been broken
- soft tummies, chubby tummies
- some of them are just thin as a rail and can’t get super muscular or super curvy
- lips that are thin and get dry and cracked
- the inability to grow facial hair, or they grow patchy beards, or wispy mustaches
- not shaving cause it’s a burden or aesthetic choice
- dry skin, rosacea, vitiligo, etc
- really greasy hair, unbelievably dry hair
They’re Human and have flaws and imperfections
- Take a sip for every time someone misspells “Worbla.” Take two if the misspelling is something really out there you haven’t seen before
- Take a sip every time someone suggests using “EVA foam” instead of “craft foam” or vice versa when they clearly don’t know that craft foam is made of EVA foam (acknowledging that they’re the same thing but that “craft foam” is thinner and less dense than something like floor mats doesn’t count here – they have to be acting as if they are two totally different materials).
- Take a sip for every time a post doesn’t have reference pictures. Make your drinks as weak as possible to prevent alcohol poisoning.
- Take a gulp for every “helper” who recommends something that the OP says they can’t or aren’t going to do, or otherwise where the post clearly wasn’t read carefully (or at all).
- Take a sip for every post that is vague about what they want, or that asks something very general (”how do I make this entire costume?”)
- Take a sip for every time fabric names are vague/people don’t know the difference between fiber and finish (”use polyester or satin for that” or “I’d use rayon” type posts) and every time a body paint brand is used to stand in for a particular product or type of paint (”where do I start with body painting?” “Ben Nye is good”)
- Take a sip for every post where no research was done whatsoever. Two if it is a very basic, googleable question with lots of information on the subject. Three if it is especially vague.
- Take a long, hard drink for any of the following: “I want to make [insert very complicated, master’s level cosplay here] but have never made anything before, where do I start?”; “Where can I buy [basic piece that is easy to find, like plain high heeled shoes or a dress shirt]?”; “I want to cosplay but have no idea who I look like!” (take two if there is no information about what types of series the person is into, what types of costumes they want to do [sewing, armor, character type preferences, etc.], or what their skill level is); “What contacts should I use for this character?” (questions about what a specific pair looks like worn doesn’t count – it has to be a vague “I need blue contacts” kind of a question); “I want to make/buy [insert difficult and expensive costume here] and my budget is [unreasonably low amount]” (take two if they’re looking for a commission, three if they have actually contacted you directly for a commission)
- Take a gulp for every bad piece of advice given. Take two if it is especially atrocious. Take three if the advice is actually dangerous, but only after correcting the person and explaining why it is dangerous.
- Take a small sip for every “helper” who is just repeating what everyone else in the thread has already said. Tiny sips. You may be here a while.
- Finish your drink for every poster who is weirdly combative about taking any sort of advice whatsoever. Go make another drink and take a long, hard drink if they were also extremely vague about what their limitations are. Take another if they do this consistently across all of their posts.