was it not clear i'm gay

the art of saying no was a numbing in our mouths. we learned how to form it gently, to swallow the punch, to let down with gentlest hands. we learned how to fake a smile, to force a chuckle, to take disgust and turn it into polite denial, to take fear and weigh our options and submit. 

he said he needed sex because oh it hurt how we made him. he said we should have just smiled back at him. he said that we could have learned karate to fight them. he said that we couldn’t say no, he was our boyfriend. 

how many girls are raised to feel guilty for no. we feel it must come with a reason. our no has to have qualifications. if our no isn’t enough, we are expected to cave in. 

the battle of our inner strength and our outer bodies. how we calculate small injustice versus our personal safety. how we’d form no in small ways that made him feel like it was our fault. how we’d let him down in a way he wouldn’t follow us home. we’d say no without the words; lying about sudden appointments or phone calls, we’d invent husbands, we’d suddenly become best friends with the woman beside us. we always had someone waiting at home for us - usually big and angry - who would notice if we were missing. we enter in our phone numbers with the last two digits switched. we say we’re going to the bathroom we’ll be right back before we take off running. 

and our no, those two letters, was never good enough. we either rejected him too harshly or not clearly. if we said no, we weren’t in love. the no was too forceful, the no was too gentle. the no meant ask nicely, the no meant keep persisting. the no was because we’re all catty and cruel and hate nice men. the no was because we’re all paranoid bitches. the no was wait long enough and it’s a yes. the no was playing hard to get.

and our life was learning. it amazes me sometimes when men tell me, “but she never said no” and i hear her story. how he was her boss and she would lose her job and it was her everything. how he said no but men aren’t allowed to refuse these things. i was thirteen the first time i had to spend a two hour train ride gently turning down a middle-aged man and someone else told me i should have just screamed or hit him or done something. how the girls i told all nodded solemnly because they know what it’s like to be thirteen and scared and to be eighteen and scared and how to be twenty-three and scared. because we’ve all said no and had it blow up in our faces. we’ve watched men turn from flirty to aggressive. we’ve seen what happens to our friends.

but in the end it’s our fault. don’t you know a man can’t take rejection.

it sucks how much straight women don’t want to consider lesbians and bi women as fellow women. while straight girls laugh at straight men who say “no homo” and refuse to be affectionate with each other, they adopt similar attitudes; if a girl they know is discovered to be gay or bi, she often loses those opportunities to be affectionate or “one of the girls”. little things, like changing in the locker room (“we’re all girls, we’ve seen it all”) become like warzones where any accidental glance from a gay or bi girl is interpreted as a predatory advance. when gay and bi girls come out, straight women do not trust us. they assume we are just like men and will use similar tactics to try and hit on or ensnare girls in relationships. the mutual respect we once had dissolves as our every movement is scrutinized because, oh my god, what if that lesbian is actually interested in me? crushes in particular are difficult. if you don’t admit to your friend that you might be interested in her, she thinks you’ve betrayed her and secretly been objectifying her against her will. if you do admit it, you’re considered a nasty pervert who doesn’t know how to just be friends with someone. most of the time, it’s hard to decipher for oneself if there is attraction there; for a lot of gay and bi women, we realize that we are attracted to women because those feelings we had for our friends, important women in our life, etc. are actually more than friendship. now we’re demanded to parse out our attractions like its black and white: either we just want to be friends, and we can be trusted, although she may be disappointed a gay girl isn’t interested in her, or we are hopelessly in love and lust, and must be avoided. it’s not always clear cut! it’s not always possible to tell whether feelings for friends are just friendship or more, and most of us have nothing to guide us in our analysis of those feelings!

stop placing these expectations on your gay and bi friends. please, treat us like people, like your other female friends, not predators looking to exploit friendships with innocent straight girls for our gain. we need friends, just like anyone else, and it can be genuinely traumatizing dealing with straight girls who dehumanize us like this. we’re not your fucking enemies, so stop treating us like it.


is someone from the disney channel going to explain to me why mal bertha is looking at evie like she hung the fucking moon????

  • Livvy: and now for a gay update with Kit Herondale
  • Kit: getting gayer
  • Livvy: thank you Kit

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

I mean, yeah, but then again I’m supposed to be a lot of things like cishet, neurotypical, and able to handle pressure without sobbing for 2 hours straight, but I continue to disappoint everyone

forrestwyrm  asked:

Keith gets hit on by some random royal. literally yells 'i'm gay' to get her to stop. cue others reacting/dying in the groupchat XD

let’s just say that as soon as lance got involved, any confusion she felt was quickly cleared up ;)

Me playing mercy

Genji: I need healing!
Me: if you don’t shut your bitchass fucking dps shitty ass hoe ass ignorant ass piece of weaboo shit ass up i will laugh on your de-
Pharah: I require healing

German MPs approve gay marriage in snap vote - BBC News
Gay men and lesbians are given full marital rights - but Chancellor Merkel votes against the change.

A clear majority of German MPs have voted to legalise same-sex marriage, days after Chancellor Angela Merkel dropped her opposition to the idea.

The reform gives gay men and lesbians full marital rights, and allows them to adopt children.

At present, same-sex couples are limited to civil unions.

But Mrs Merkel, who only decided to allow the vote on Monday, voted against the measure. Her political opponents were strongly in favour.

(Read more)


Logan’s brother and his bf got married this weekend and I only got pics of Logan and me bc we were way too cute 😘🏳️‍🌈😘🏳️‍🌈😘🏳️‍🌈

i’m not saying the justice league team has more representation than the main avengers team but the justice league team has more representation than the main avengers team

JL1: 1 white guy, 1 jewish gay dude (tho not gay in the film but has a poc love interest), 1 israeli bisexual woman, 1 black man, and 1 hawaiian man

A1: 5 white guys and 1 white woman


🅱lease stop for a min and read @hopelessfountainkinkdom ‘s amazing and so so fluffy (bless) fic bcos it cleared my skin and watered my crops

anonymous asked:

You said in your s13 meta that the narrative suffers from keeping Destiel in the subtext. Can you elaborate a bit on that? For example, would you have them enter a romantic relationship now (or in earlier seasons) or would you be okay with it only happening towards the end of the show as long as it gets shoved more into 'text' level along the way - however that would look? How would you personally go about it in a way that fits into the narrative of the show?

Well - I think there are a bunch of reasons why keeping Destiel in the subtext is hurting the show (narratively). Off the top of my head -

1) This kind of subtext - ie, scattered clues that can be as obscure as beer labels or paintings on the walls - is usually reserved for Big, Shocking Revelations - for instance, the identity of the murderer in a thriller. I can’t think of one single example in which the subtextual clues led to a ‘Guess what - she actually luuuuurves him!’, and there’s good reason for that - a romantic attraction is not interesting enough to leave the audience to guess it and half perceive it out of the corner of their eyes. A hidden subtext should be the kind of thing where you gasp and stare when it’s revealed and then you go back and rewatch the whole thing in disbelief (also annoyance, because part of you is not surprised by this at all, but you never listened to that part ‘cause your a gullible fool). For younger readers, the revelations about Snape in HP fit this model well; for older viewers, a good example is the ending of The Others or Fight Club. Romantically speaking, the only close equivalent to what Supernatural is doing goes something along the lines of sexual awakening - a beautiful example is Tracy Chevalier’s Girl with a Pearl Earring, in which it’s very clear for an adult reader that Griet is attracted to Vermeer from the very first moment she sees him, and yet the UST builds and builds because Griet herself is too young and inexperienced to see it - and when she finally realizes it, holy shit. Even in that case, though, the romance wasn’t exactly subtextual - every single adult around Griet wondered at it - her mother warned her to stay away from Vermeer, Vermeer’s wife was openly jealous from the second Griet started working for their household, the other servants were also suspicious of why Griet was spending so much time alone with Vermeer and so on and so forth. The tension came from the fact Griet herself didn’t understand what was going on - not from the thing being completely subtextual. So, to me, the fact Supernatural thinks a (gay) love story needs to be put in the subtext - it’s more than offensive - it’s just not effective.

Keep reading

Okay so I may be getting into a dead fandom here but DEAF WEST SPRING AWAKENING is a thing that exists and it’s beautiful and glorious and I love it to death

But right “The Word of Your Body Reprise” makes me sob so hard because when they say “Oh, you’re gonna be wounded/Oh, you’re gonna be my wound” (specifically Ernst the emotion and conflict on his face was so clear) I immediately thought how yes, loving each other could be their downfall because it was fucking ILLEGAL to be GAY

And it hurts so much to think about how that out of the three (sort of) couples they’re the only ones with a relatively happy ending, you know how rare it is to see that

Anyway I now love this show more than life itself and the whole thing makes me cry