was crap

Lance: Can’t this thING go any faster???

Keith: We could toss out some non-essential weight.

Lance: …how…daRE YOU!!!! My weight is very essential!! Do you know hoW HARD I WORKED-

Don’t you just love a good rainstorm? We had one last night, and I love falling asleep to the sound of rain, but I also love waking up–especially in spring–after the rain.  Everything is so green and it feels like all of my flowers and plants have grown overnight.  I was intending to go into the office today, but it’s too beautiful and peaceful here for that.  I don’t have any meetings today, so nothing’s stopping me from working from home. :D

The last couple of nights, the husband has been talking about feeling restless at his job and wanting something different.  I know part of it is that they’re opening a new fab and as a manager, he has to do a lot (more) of boring paperwork/inspections/approvals and those are things he hates.  But, I think it’s also management in general. The husband loves engineering.  He loves it and he’s brilliant at it.  He does not love meetings/paperwork/talking too often with people.  He is good at those things, too, but who cares about that when you hate what you’re doing? 

Every time he brings it up, he then also has to talk about how happy he is in every other aspect of his life, “so who cares if I don’t love my job?” And, he has to note all of the things his job provides: excellent health coverage, a good salary, stability, etc.  *eye roll*  Look, I love the fact that my husband takes his role as a “provider” very seriously.  He’s great at it and I definitely appreciate it.  But, I keep trying to beat into his brain that WE DON’T NEED THAT MUCH.  I told him last night that he’s worried about being TOO good at it.  We could maintain our current lifestyle even if he took a fairly significant pay cut.  We don’t spend that much, and I’ve written several times before that we feel much happier and more comfortable living below our means.  The whole point of that is so no one feels trapped.  Obviously, it’s awesome that he feels happy in every other aspect of his life, but work is a BIG part of how most of us spend our days.  If there’s a chance he could be happy doing something different, he should at least look into it.  And, that’s what I told him (repeatedly…maybe one of these days it’ll sink in).  We have the goal/desire to retire early, and I know that a lower salary would mean saving less, but what’s the point in retiring early if you’ve been miserable for years leading up to that retirement!?  Goals are not set in stone!  If we work a few more years, then we work a few more years.  And, we won’t mind so much if we like the work!!!!  The man is stubborn.  Fortunately for him, so am I.  ;)  I’m going to make him see reason if it kills me! 

at the risk of sounding too emotional, i just wanna say something.

whoever has commented, liked, reblogged, or sent me a message about my current fic has helped me in more ways than you’ll ever know. every time you say even a simple ‘i like your writing’ or ‘the story you’re telling is interesting’, it makes me feel, well, less depressed and useless. 

i’m a cellist. it’s my career and it’s what i’ve been going to grad school to study for the past few years. i got into a car accident last october and it’s rendered my right arm completely useless. i’m in constant pain, i can barely pick up anything or clean my house or, sometimes, even type. and, i can’t play cello, at all - i can’t even pick up my bow without dropping it. 

so, amidst all the physical therapy appointments (that aren’t helping) and the constant dread of having to get up in the morning and face another day with a useless arm and the fact that i can’t pursue my passion, i started writing again. i hadn’t for years. and i’m so glad i’ve once again picked it up. because, even though there’s only a few of you, i have an audience again. i am able to once again display a passion of mine - because writing a fic and posting it every week is like playing a recital (except slightly less scary because i don’t see all your faces in the crowd at once as i start to play). 

every time you comment, like, reblog, or send me a message about my fic, it makes me feel a little bit more like a useful person again. scratch that - it makes me feel like a person at all. it makes me feel a little bit more hopeful about my situation, and that maybe even if i can’t play cello ever again, i can try to replace it with something useful. maybe it won’t be writing, but - something.

to sum it all up, thank you guys. from the bottom of my heart. thank you.

youtube

I’ve felt bad about not updating the Tumblr as well as streaming/animating more, I’ve been going hard on commission work. I’m alive around Twitter here and there if you want to keep some tabs on what’s going on. Gonna answer a bunch of questions and submissions in the Ask box too!

For now, have this animation practice I did for a stream a while back with a stretchy sandvich.