was crap

all of the shit i was feeling and thinking in my previous relationship was so fucking jacked holy shit

“Where’s Oikawa?”

Daichi glanced up from the glass he was drying. Sugawara sat across the counter from him, arms folded, lips turned firmly down.

“I haven’t seen him,” the bartender replied, setting the glass under the counter. “You need him for something?”

“Duh! It’s his birthday! Aren’t we gonna have a big banger?”


“Yeah! We gotta get real fucked!”

“… fucked.”

“Jesus, Daichi. Stop looking at me like I’m suggesting an orgy.”

Daichi narrowed his eyes, “So it’s not an orgy?”

Sugawara pushed up on his hands, “A party! We gotta have a party, Daichi! Quick, let’s think of something to surprise him with.”

Daichi rolled his eyes and wiped the counter down, nudging Sugawara’s hands out of the way, “Shouldn’t you have done this before the day of his birthday?”

“I completely, one hundred percent forgot.”


Sugawara swatted his towel out of his hands and grabbed the front of his shirt, “Quit cleaning, man! We gotta think of something before he shows up and is disappointed that we completely forgot his birthday!”

“I didn’t forget,” Daichi gently pried his fingers away from his clothing. “I sent him a gift this morning.”

Sugawara released a gasp strong enough to fell mountains and sat back on his stool, “Traitor! And you didn’t remind me?”

“I didn’t think you’d forget,” he admitted. “Tooru isn’t typically the type to let his big day fly under the radar.”

Sugawara leaned his cheek in the palm of his hand and hummed, “Now that you mention it… it does go against his narcissistic ways… I wonder if there’s a reason…”

Daichi picked up and folded his towel into a neat square, soft smile touching his lips.

“Well…” he said, tucking the towel into the pocket of his apron. “Let’s forget the party and have a nice, quiet, night in. Okay?”

Sugawara’s lids lowered warily as he regarded him. Finally, he looked away, mumbling out an agreement. Daichi let out a deep breath.

You owe me, Iwaizumi.

“Iwa-chan, it’s been hell keeping my mouth shut about my birthday these past few weeks,” Oikawa whined as he followed Iwaizumi down the hall towards their apartment. “My present better be worth it!”

“It will be,” he muttered, stopping outside the door. He pulled his keys from his pocket and sorted through them.

Oikawa eyed him quietly for a second before draping himself over his back, “Let me guess,” he purred into his ear. “Is it you? Is Iwa-chan my present?”

“Hmm… I wonder.”

“C’mon, at least give me a hint!” Oikawa’s hands slithered around to his chest and explored every contour of his muscles through the fabric of his shirt. “Did you learn a new move you want to try out in bed? Oooo, did you buy that leather police uniform I saw on the lingerie site the other day? Or maybe you just have a bunch of sweets and goodies ready to pour all over my naked body—”

Iwaizumi slid the key into the lock and turned it, rolling his eyes, “It’s always gotta be sex with you, doesn’t it?”

“Me?” Oikawa huffed and released him as he moved into the apartment. “I was talking about you!” He shrugged his jacket off of his shoulders and kicked off his shoes in the entryway as Iwaizumi did the same. “Me? No way. I just figured that’s the type of thing a gorilla like you would think to surprise me with.”

Iwaizumi took Oikawa’s hand and led him down the hallway.

“No,” Oikawa went on. “Not me. A romantic like myself? Sex isn’t even in the forefront of my mind. But we all know you just can’t keep your hands to yourself when it comes to me. So of course I’d think that my present would be…”

He dwindled off as they entered the dining room. Spread over the table was an exquisite dinner on their finest dinnerware, the one Oikawa insisted they only ever use on special occasions and thus hadn’t touched in the four years since he had first bought it on a complete whim. A low bouquet of pink peonies sat in the center of the table, surrounded by four lit candles.

“Sorry,” Iwaizumi said, pulling Oikawa to the table and urging him into his seat. “It’s not sex. Unless you want to shove all my hard work onto the floor and get fucked on the table.”

Oikawa leapt back to his feet and made a sweeping lunge for the table. Iwaizumi caught him just in time and wrestled him back into his chair.

“Kidding,” he grunted. “I was kidding. I worked too hard on this shit. So sit down and just wait.”

“Iwa-chan, you love me, don’t you?” Oikawa asked, moisture filling his eyes. “You really love me, don’t you? You made me dinner. Look at it. It looks so tasty. This is the proof of your love, isn’t it?”

Iwaizumi leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the forehead, brushing his hair aside.

“Taste it first,” he mumbled as he pulled away. “You might not want a love of this level.”

“Look at it, Iwa-chan. It’s so beautiful. It’s gorgeous. Hold on,” Oikawa reached into his pocket and produced his cell phone. He proceeded to fill up his gallery with photos of the table as Iwaizumi chuckled and fetched a bottle of champagne from the kitchen. He popped the cork and filled their glasses, and Oikawa was sure to snap several shots of that as well.

“Iwa-chan, selfie. Selfie,” Oikawa lifted his champagne flute and then gestured at him with his cell phone. “C’mon, you know the drill.”

“So much for living in the moment,” Iwaizumi grumbled but dragged his chair over to Oikawa’s side nonetheless.

“Why live only in the moment when I can relive it forever?” Oikawa raised the cell phone to his most flattering angle and leaned towards Iwaizumi. “Don’t frown. You always frown.”

Iwaizumi made a face, twisting his lips and scrunching his nose.


He chuckled and placed a hand around Oikawa’s waist, “Alright, alright, I’ll be good. Just hurry up. The food’s getting cold.”

Oikawa found the perfect angle and then smiled, “Happy birthday to meeee!” he sang and took the photo. He lowered the camera and checked the picture. “Ah… I look stupid. Let’s do another—”

Iwaizumi snatched the phone from his hand and stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans.

“No more pictures,” he commanded when Oikawa whined. He lifted his champagne flute up and Oikawa reluctantly tapped his against it. “Happy Birthday, Tooru.”

Oikawa smiled and sipped the champagne. “You love me, don’t you Iwa-chan?”

“Either that, or I’m pulling off the prank of the century.”

“Or maybe I am.”

“Definitely not.”

Oikawa set his champagne down and leaned in his direction. Iwaizumi lowered his glass and did the same, meeting him halfway in a gentle kiss.

When they pulled back, Oikawa asked sweetly, “You still got me a real present, right?”

“You’ll have to wait to find out,” Iwaizumi leaned back in his chair and picked up his chopsticks.

“Wait?” Oikawa tapped a finger on the table.

The corner of Iwaizumi’s mouth ticked up, “For bedtime.”

Oikawa placed one arm around the back of Iwaizumi’s chair and slung the other across his lap, “Oh? What’s this? Iwa-chan, did you get me a sexy surprise too after all?

“Guess you’ll have to see,” Iwaizumi ignored his fawning and delved into the meal.

Once Oikawa realized he wasn’t giving anything away, he pulled back, clicking his tongue.

“Fine. I’ll wait. I can wait. I’m patient. You’ll see. I’m the most patient man you’ll ever met.”

Iwaizumi snorted at the ludicrous claim but didn’t argue.

“Patient Tooru. That’s what they used to call me back in school. Of course, you remember that. You were there too. So you know all about how that was my nickname and literally everyone called me that.”

“Oh yeah,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “I totally recall that definitely not made up nickname. Yep.”

“Good. Because it’s true. It’s not made up. And I am very patient,” Oikawa lifted his chopsticks and took a bite of the dinner. He let out a moan, “Iwa-chan. This is the evidence of your love for me, isn’t it?”

He smiled, “I guess it is.”

“Is it better than the bedroom surprise? Which one is more representative of your love for me?”

Iwaizumi let out a laugh and sat back, “Whatever happened to your patience?”

“I’m being patient!” Oikawa lifted his chin and moved the food around his plate. “I just asked one question!”

Iwaizumi watched him quietly for a moment, smile curling the corners of his lips softly. Oikawa continued to grumble, pausing every few seconds to moan over a new bite that truly had to be the evidence of Iwa-chan’s love for me.

“You’re lucky I’m as patient as I am,” Oikawa insisted, fluffing his hair. “Or else this delicious dinner would go to waste because I’d be demanding you carry me off to the bedroom and surprise me all night long.”

Iwaizumi chuckled and leaned towards him, propping his elbow up on the table between their plates.

“Alright,” he said in a low voice. “You want to know about the surprise?”

“Oh god yes please god,” Oikawa set his chopsticks down and turned towards him eagerly.

Iwaizumi grinned slyly, “Well… it may have something to do with leather…”

Oikawa’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open, “Iwa-chan you—”


Oikawa squeaked and bumped into the table. Iwaizumi turned towards the entrance of the dining room. Sugawara bounded into the room, wearing a cape and a top hat, swinging a black baton around in wide circles around his head.

“Happy birthday,” Hanamaki and Matsukawa called in unison as they came in behind him.

“Oh good, there’s food,” Hanamaki dropped into the seat beside Oikawa and stole his plate.

“Itadakimasu,” Matsukawa stole Iwaizumi’s, sitting opposite Hanamaki.

Suga-chan! Mattsun! Makki!” Oikawa shrieked. “What are you—”

“Something smells good!” another voice called, followed by Bokuto and Kuroo entering the dining room.

Bokuto lifted a massive bouquet of flowers, “Happy birthday!”

“I got you a card,” Kuroo tossed an envelope into his lap and moved around to Matsukawa. He leaned over his shoulder and stole the bite off of his chopsticks.

“Oikawa look, look,” Sugawara demanded. He pulled his hat off of his head and then swirled his baton around inside it. “Look at the magic trick I’ve been practicing for weeks just for your birthday, which I didn’t forget about at all, nope, no way.”

“Suga-chan I don’t—”

“Abra Kadabra!” Sugawara tossed his baton to the side and then reached into the hat. He pulled out a large black raven and tossed it into the air. It cawed loudly and started flapping around the room, shedding feathers. “Ta da!” Sugawara struck a pose, legs bent, arms spread wide.

“Ooooohhhh! Good one, Suga-senpai!” Bokuto clapped excitedly.

Sugawara bowed, “Thank you. Thank you very much.”

Iwaizumi sipped his champagne calmly, watching as Oikawa’s face reddened and he leapt to his feet.

“Suga-chan you idiot! How could you bring this flying rat into my home? I’m going to beat your ass!”

Sugawara let out a shriek and turned to flee. He tripped on the corner of his cape and slammed down to his stomach, where Oikawa tackled him and promptly started pounding his forehead into the floor while Sugawara kicked his legs and wailed.

Iwaizumi turned in his seat and watched the scene, an affectionate smile on his lips.

“What’s with the creepy smile, Iwaizumi?” Hanamaki asked, drawing his attention to the others.

He blinked at them and then hummed, looking back to Oikawa as he started choking Sugawara with his cape.

“It’s nothing,” he said, letting out a chuckle. “I just suddenly thought… Ahh… there he is.

Oikawa hooked his fingers in Sugawara’s cheeks and pulled, laughing maniacally.

“There’s that shitty guy I fell in love with back in high school.”

“Leahter! Leather he said!” Oikawa wrestled one of Sugawara’s legs back and yanked it up towards his head. Sugawara screeched and pounded his fists into the floor. “I’ll never forgive you for ruining this for me!”

Iwaizumi let out a laugh.

“My Patient Tooru.”

I dunno. I wanted to write something for Oikawa but it’s three a.m. and I’m running on fumes and I’m dying and I’m tired and this is all I could come up with. Oh well.

Good enough.

Happy Birthday, Grand King. Don’t kill Suga.

Originally posted by sweartrek

thehumanrat  asked:

I ship you with John Boyega because I feel like he would look after you but also you would have loads of fun and he's so bouncy. I just feel like you would get on.

((OOC: Oh, what a splendid match! Here’s John and I at a garden party, trying to remember whether or not we put coriander in the pasta salad. Because, you know, Sheila is allergic.))

dera-chan  asked:

I haven't read the chapter yet, but is it true Jerza is not canon? If that's the case then fuck FT. Seriously, this is the biggest bullshit ever. The only way this crap can be redeemed is if Mashima draws extra chapters where they do confess and kiss.

I haven’t read the final chapter yet, but I know what happened in the final chapter because I was spoiled, and ranted with a friend about it.

As far as canon goes, Jerza is already canon in my eyes where Mutual love is concerned, but yes, they didn’t get canon in a relationship, with an onpanel confession or in a relationship, they didn’t even have one fucking panel together (fuck you Mashima)!

I think saying it’s the biggest bullshit is an understatement at this point, and I don’t care how much fans continue to respect Mashima for his decisions to write this half-assed lazy ending, because among all the ships, Jerza have been the most romantic, and developed, all they need is just one final push. Instead of having Erza at the guild envying others having their moment with their respective other half, why can’t Erza just go to where Jellal is and wait for him? And then they have their moment later where they talk things out? I mean, I would have been content with that than her sitting at the guild not doing anything at all… 

And I am speaking from a Zervis pov, because I am a Zervis fan, why the hell does Mashima bring Zervis back and give them another happy closure and not give this to the pairing (Jerza) that deserves this the most? Like, instead of wasting those panels on a pairing (Zervis) that already have their conclusive closure, why not give this to Jerza who needs this?!

Honestly, I don’t care how much fans actually respect Mashima for this ending, or thank him for this ending or hard work… Hardwork is ridiculous considering most of us no longer follow his manga (long ago) for the plot but for the ships, and this ending, just proves how lazy he is in coming up with this stupid ending. For a reader who have followed him since the start of the manga, I know he could do better, but this ending was complete, utter bullshit! He proved to me once again how incapable he is as a writer!

Does Mashima hate us so much? Does he hate Jellal/Jerza so much? I mean all the other pairings got their moment, but not Jerza? He’s been treating us like crap by trolling Jellal/Jerza and having Jerza separated for the entirety of the manga… And I always hated him for that, but I still believed in him, even if it’s just a faint hope… I believe that Jerza (like all other pairings) will get their conclusive ending because they really deserve this. Jerza is the one pairing that deserves a conclusive happy ending the most, but it’s not just an open ending, but they were not even given ONE freaking on panel moment for us? 

Seriously, I know this is Mashima’s work, and he have his right to end how he wants, but for people who said Fairy Tail is not about romance, than, considering a pairing (Jerza) who have the most romantic developments who have been mutually in love for so long (and Mashima heavily implies this), doesn’t get in a relationship but Zervis(who was dead), and Gajevy and even Gruvia gets to have their canon moments?! A Manga about friendship… WHY do Mashima bring Zervis back and waste those panels on them?! WHY can’t Jerza get their moments together to work things out?! I’m a Zervis fan, but I am not happy about them getting their moment in the final chapter but Jerza being neglected, once again! I am pissed, forever pissed at Mashima and I won’t kiss his ass for doing a “great” job when he have slapped my face once again, for this crappy ending! Oh?! And supposedly, those anti Jerza fans suddenly think Jerza ship has sunk and now is rejoicing because Jerza isn’t canon?! Well, fuck you Mashima for giving them a reason to rejoice…

@ripace, I’m really sad to say, we couldn’t fangirl on the final chapter. I wish you are here right now so we can rant… urgh…,