was better in my mind

chane-kun  asked:

Hiii Sensei! How did you know what you where ment to do? Or did it just kinda happen? Im getting older and i know time doesnt wait for anyone and at times its hard not being grounded to reality. My mind is a mess.. and i feel like a burden to my family because its impossible for me to do the most simplist things sometimes. I wanna get better but theres always those days where my mind seems to tell me no you cant. I just wanna believe in myself and i try, but i always end up back at square 1.🤕

I know just too well what you mean. I took quite the while to know what to do with myself and also took long time for recovery from mental illness, which still hits me sometimes. It’s understandable you don’t want to be a burden to your family, but what’s important is you. You need to see what you can and can’t do. It’s true that time doesn’t wait for anyone, but it’s also true, that you have all the time in the world to figure out what you’re meant to do. we have so many possibilities today and yet so little, that it’s often hard to find the right thing. I started five different things before I ended up with something I really enjoyed and today I know that’s cool. Back then I was really stressed out about having to get a job soon and be a productive member of society, but you do you and there’s no need to rush into something you can’t or don’t want to do. Take time to recover, for therapy or for coping and start with little steps, maybe a honorary office for a few hours a week to get into something and to get yourself more resilient. I know there’s lots of pressure, but the only thing that matters is you! Allow yourself to try lots of stuff with internships or little jobs for a few hours a month, nothing too big. I love you and I’m proud of you!

The two photos on the left are of me a year ago, i was drinking every single day and i was a drug addict. The photo on the right is me now, ive been clean for around 8/9 months and the change in how i look and who i am is amazing. I still struggle every day to stay sober and i’m still far from who/where i want to be but i have come so far from where i was. I am a better person sober no matter how much my mind tries to convince me to go back i will stay stubborn and keep clean. I am on my way to the life i want and i refuse to be dragged back down. I’ve had a very bad life from since i was a child and things are finally starting to look up

me: *staring off into the distance while deep in thought* 

friend: what are you thinking about? 

me: oh just… death.. and.. stuff.. 

friend: *weirded out but knows me good enough to not ask questions* …okay

me: *goes back to thinking about my otp fucking*


Why did I even draw this


Happy New Year! :D Wishing you all the best~

Technically, I’m super late with this, me being from the UK… So I’m just pretending to live in US time! XD

Sketched the kiss pic a few months back but never got around to finishing it. Err, the build-up to the kiss was pretty last minute hence why they’re still in pencil form– Hope you can still make out what’s going on there… ^_^;

No Kissing

(I took a brief intermission from working on my main fic to do a one-shot; I’ve seen a few people lately craving Bechloe married domestic fluff, and I’ve been feeling the same way, so I couldn’t resist the urge!)

Locking up her studio for the night, Beca pockets the key and heads across the back yard to the house.  She comes in through the kitchen, finding it empty and silent this late in the evening.  Checking the clock, she feels a slight twinge of guilt when she sees it’s past eight.  Usually, despite the temptation of her equipment just a few steps away on the same property, she doesn’t allow herself to go back to work after dinner.  (Or rather, Chloe doesn’t allow her to go back to work after dinner.)  But with so many deadlines looming this week she’s had to make some exceptions.

She crosses the back hallway and peeks into the family room.  Chloe is nowhere in evidence, but their daughter, Violet, is sitting on the plush area rug in the middle of the room, clutching her favorite blanket, staring at the TV and absorbed in what looks like a car insurance commercial featuring a talking monkey.  

Beca steps quietly through the doorway and sneaks up closer, then crouches down a few feet behind her, still unnoticed.  “Boo,” she says, but in a soft voice so as not to actually scare her.

Keep reading


Get To Know Me - pairings [3/10]

Kumiko Oumae and Asuka Tanaka [Sound! Euphonium]

“There is something I wanted to tell you. I… I used to not like you. You were senior to me, and we played the same part, so I tried to ignore it. But you seemed so difficult. In fact, I might have hated you. But now, I love you! You wouldn’t ever show your true feelings. You always seemed to look down on people. You said crap like you didn’t care about your friends… But… But now, I’m lonely. I want to hear you play the euphonium again… I want to play like you!”


Shiro canonically being six and a quarter years old is the best news I’ve heard this entire year.

We all know that Yuuri with “After the final, let’s end this” he meant his professional career and not their relationship. He wanted to ask Viktor to step down as his coach after GPF for a while, he thinks that he’s holding Viktor back from competing and everything else.
The fact that Viktor disappeared during his interview to watch Yurio made him think that he regretted becoming his coach, that he let him down, he didn’t live up to his expectations. To add more Yurio even broke Viktor’s world record.
So Yuuri might think Viktor wants to go back skating to beat that record again.
But what if Viktor real intention was to create a new living legend aka Yurio? 
In the last episode he said “If i’d stayed in Russia as a competitor, Yurio wouldn’t be this motivated to fight”. Even Yakov was reminded of Vitya during Yurio’s skating.

Also Yuuri seeing Viktor all thrilled and inspired by the other skaters’s performances didn’t help either, that made him think that Viktor wants to go back competing even more and that he is just pulling him back.
But what if Viktor was actually inspired by the short programs to make even more breathtaking choreographies for Yuuri?
In regards to this he said “I can only find new strength on my own. That’s what I always thought. Now I feel new emotions flowing into me through Yuuri. What should I give Yuuri now?”
The point is that Viktor surely doesn’t have the intention to leave Yuuri, not when he was in love with Yuuri even before the show started, that he finally made his beloved Yuuri fall in love with him and even got an engagement ring.
He can go back skating but he probably doesn’t want that anymore.
The problem is Yuuri’s anxiety and lack of confidence tbh I relate to him a lot :’)
They just need to discuss things over calmly. Yuuri still doesn’t know how much Viktor loves him and chose him over his career. Viktor won’t give him up after they came so far together!

Anyway I don’t know what they will do after the Grand Prix Final, the only thing I’m sure of is that Yuuri will show us a perfect performance of Yuri on ice and that they’ll get married!
Honestly since Kubo wanted to make a sequel but Yuuri wants to retire I wonder if Viktor will convince him to keep skating? Because Yuri on Ice is not the same without Yuri skating :’)
Or what about Yuuri and Viktor pair skating next season to surprise us even more? Am i getting ahead of myself? Am i being illusional? :’))
I know that pair skating consists of a man and a woman but let me dream and cheer myself up after this episode bye