AGRA admitted out loud that she lied through her teeth to John about everything because he would stop loving her if he knew the truth and that she made him stay and people still??? Think this relationship?? Is good and healthy??????
John is aware that Mary is delightfully entertained by the group
of fans that has gotten fairly involved in their work after Sherlock’s triumph comeback. He would find her reading the fans’ dialogues on the dedicated Holmes
& Watson forum. And when asked, she grinned and answered that she has made an account and she particularly loves the subforum “Ahoy Sailors!”. What?
Today, he finds her peering intently at her phone again as
they lounge lazily on the sofa. With his right arm around her shoulder, he can see that her phone screen depicting the forum’s familiar deep
blue theme and walls of words. He’s about to go back to his book when she suddenly asks, “John,
John, would you say our relationship is a good and healthy one?” John frowns. What?
“No. God no”, he answers in a heartbeat. Mary turns to look at him with a single eyebrow raised. John’s face matches hers, as if daring her to challenge him on his next clearly enunciated sentence,
“We keep a spare gun in Eli’s room in case of emergency”. That successfully puts a smile on her face, so John seizes the window of opportunity to push on. “We are having a
GOOD amount of HEALTHY sex. That’s for sure”, as he gives Mary the come-hither
smirk of his which he knows would turn her on. Mary coughs. Oh God, yes.
If we take John’s halfhearted forgiveness scene at face value (and that’s a BIG if, but let’s just say we do), and if we take his burning of the thumb drive at face value (again, a huge if!), this is what that entire scene actually said:
John told Mary that the only thing that mattered was that she keep lying to him. She told him that if he read the thumb drive, he wouldn’t love her any more, and this is him agreeing. In burning it, he is literally saying, “you’re right: I don’t think I’ll love the real you. Our marriage can only work if we both pretend you’re someone else.” That’s the meaning of “is Mary Watson good enough for you?”. It means that it doesn’t matter what her real names are, first or last, because he doesn’t want to know. He tells her in this scene, with these actions, that he believes her that he wouldn’t like who she really is. She started out by lying about absolutely everything to him, and he tells her that the only way their marriage can work at all is if they both go on ignoring her real identity.
Mary gave John the thumb drive because Sherlock had already found out for him that she wasn’t anything like what she’d told him she was. She had no option. Yet she “bravely” handed over this information, which she conveniently just happened to have on her, as though in an act of courageous self-sacrifice. It was nothing of the sort; she’d been found out and backed into a corner. They could have taken it from her at will at any point. But John had already bracketed her with the criminals he and Sherlock usually dealt with, put himself in a group with Sherlock and Mary in a group with the scum and told her they would decide whether they wanted her or not. So she tried to spin the gesture of giving him the thumb drive as some sort of bravado on her part, because gaslighting and mind-fuckery is Mary’s entire game.
And even given all of that, John rejected it. He took her “brave gesture” and put it in the fire and said he didn’t want it.
People usually choose to lower their barriers and reveal themselves to the people that they love and it’s meant to be taken as a gift, an act of trust. John clearly established, by rejecting the “gift” of her information, that no trust can exist between them. It’s too late to start over and try to establish something genuine, something that he can believe in. “Is Mary Watson good enough?” he asked, the “no, don’t tell me who you really are; I don’t want to know” openly implied. He put Mary’s brave gift into the flames and told her to stick to her deceptions because he would rather stomach a mountain of lies than one shred of truth about the real her.