Luke telling Han what happened when he was blinded by carbonite
  • luke:and then jabba put leia in a bikini with a chain around her neck, but later she killed him, so...
  • han (excited):really?
  • luke:yeah.
  • han:what did it look like?
  • luke:erm, the bikini was red and gold and-
  • han:no. when she killed jabba. what was it like?
  • luke:she strangled him with the chain.
  • han:how did her biceps look? i bet she was really flexed.
  • han:*sighs* *stares off into the distance* i bet she got that really gorgeous look of murderous rage when she's about to do something heroic for democracy and freedom...
Star wars according to autocorrect

Luke Skywalker (wow nice one)
Leia Oregano
Ham solo
Earth Vander
Oh I want Kenobi
Emperor Palestine
Sneaking Skywalker
Peake admirals
Quick Hon Jones
Jar jar blinks
Panel Parisian
Count Roomy
Bobs felt
Mango felt
Mace windy
Babbage the hut

:/ 8
Poe Cameroon
But my favourite
Yolo den


Because some things are worth fighting for — The War of the Bucket

During the 11th and 12th centuries the Italian states and the German kingdoms were often at war due to a series of conflicts called the Investiture Controversy.  The Investiture Controversy was a politically motivated war fought over who would be the supreme power of Europe, the theocratic government of the Roman Catholic Church, or the secular government of the Holy Roman Empire. The Controversy officially came to an end in 1176 when the forces of Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa were defeated at the Battle of Legnano. 

While the Investiture Controversy ended in 1176, conflict over the issue still remained in Italy between the many kingdoms and city states, which were divided into two factions, the Ghibellines who supported the Holy Roman Emperor, and the Guelfs who supported the Pope. The town of Modena was an ardent Ghibelline city, while Bologna was a staunch Guelf city. Thus for many centuries the two cities were fierce rivals.

One night in 1325 a small group of Modenese commandos snuck into the city and stole the ceremonial civic bucket from the town well.  Before they left, they filled it with is much looted treasure as could fit.  Enraged by the theft of their sacred bucket, the Bolognese mustered an army of 30,000 men to crush Modena. The two armies met at the twon of Zappolino. The Modenese only had an army of 7,000, however the Bolognese were disorganized and poorly armed while the Modenese were well equipped, well trained, and disciplined.  As a result, the Battle of Zappolino lasted on 2 hours before the Modenese broke Bolognese ranks, killing 2,000 in the process.  The Modenese chased the defeated army all the way to Bologna itself, however they did not have the numbers to lay siege to the city.  Rather, they paraded around the city walls, displaying the captured bucket for all to see while shouting insults, wisecracks about Bolognese mothers, and made obscene gestures.  Today, the bucket is still in the possession of Modena.