warrens spiral

Fluffy headcanons for @ladyknighttime! Happy slightly belated birthday!!

  • Vanessa is the first one Kendra goes to for advice, but since Kendra usually needs advice when she’s awake at four a.m. and stressing out, Vanessa tends to wake up to a 49 texts and 8 missed phone calls.
  • Tanu legit cried when Kendra and Seth bought him a “number one uncle” mug
  • Kendra takes EXTREMELY organized notes, all color-coordinated and proper indentation and stuff. When she studies from those notes, she doodles little flowers and stars in the margins so she knows what she already looked at
  • Every time Elise shaves her legs, she comes running down the stairs and slams her leg on the table. Every. Time.
  • Vanessa’s teenage rebellious phase wasn’t actually dark clothes and edgy music, it was ABBA until five in the morning and neon clothes to piss off her mom
  • Seth can’t actually ride a bike. Any time he was on one he was doing a stupid prank and crashing, so Marla and Scott figured it would be a bad idea to get him a bike and let him keep doing that. Any time Seth got dared to ride a bike into something/down a hill/etc. he would just fake it until he made it
  • Dale blocked Seth’s number. They weren’t in an argument or anything, Dale was just sick of all the memes
  • Ruth loves ancestry and old family photos, but when she finally digs out and starts sorting through all the photos from her youth, everyone can hear her yelling “and who the hell is THIS?” every five minutes
  • Vanessa has a stack of business cards to dismiss people, which she hands out both sarcastically when someone is pissing her off and genuinely when she needs a break from talking to people.
  • Seth still gets the occasional neat stuff from the satyrs, and he usually sells stuff he doesn’t need or want to other creatures on the preserve. The first thing he bought with the profits was a mega-sized bag of gummy bears
  • Warren can make a ridiculously accurate water-drop noise, and he once had Dale looking for a leak in the cabin for an hour before he burst out laughing and gave himself away
  • Bracken technically doesn’t need to sleep, but he likes to because he taught himself how to lucid dream while in Living Mirage
  • Warren once wore stilts in order to match the dryads height while talking to them and now he’s not allowed to talk to them ever again
  • Vanessa tried to teach Seth how to pickpocket using the seven bells method, since everyone figured a shadow charmer would be a good pickpocket, right? Seth ended up punching the manakin in the face. Apparently shadow charmers are better at convincing people to just give stuff up
  • Kendra crossbreeds different types of plants she finds on the preserve, but at one point as a joke she tried making the plant from Little Shop Of Horrors and succeeded TOO much. Kendra had to chainsaw the thing open to get back all the books, furniture, and Dale it had eaten
  • Elise, running out of her room covered in paint and glitter: THINGS HAVE GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
  • Udnar the troll was freed onto the preserve when Bracken reclaimed his first horn from the centaurs. Occasionally random bunches of bananas replace stuff around centaur territory. Udnar refuses to say how he got the bananas, and then smiles and waves at Seth because he’s not subtle
  • Warren, to a captive Society member: “you have the right to remain—” Seth: “a loser!!” Warren: “nice, but now I legally have to start over”
  • Stan grew up in a Jewish family and put presents around the menorah
  • “Have you guys seen Raxtus—” (fairy Raxtus pops out of Kendra’s hoodie) “hello” “whAT FRESH HELL”
  • Warren still has a video of Hugo holding the siblings up and trying to sing the lion king
  • Ruth has small bell at the dinner table that she dings every time someone makes a pun
  • Dale, laying down with the preserve’s chickens: I’m done. I’m done. Just let me be with my children
  • Seth: *dabs and smacks Warren in the face*
  • Vanessa isn’t allowed to carve pumpkins for festival nights because best case scenario she carves “bracken sucks,” worst case scenario she stabs the pumpkin into a gloopy mess
  • Tanu: “pick your battles, Kendra. pick… fewer than that. please put some battles back, that’s too many.”
  • Bracken gets stressed over how fragile mortals are. “They’re squishy, mother. Do you know how many things can kill a mortal. Do you—”
  • “Tanu never would’ve let me down like this”
  • Elise has gotten into heated debates about robocop and has won
  • The fairies take a liking to Hugo and land on him, he’s just like “…………..????”
  • A different Fablehaven resident brings Seth and Kendra to all their outside-the-preserve stuff and everyone wonders how Seth and Kendra have so many parents
  • Kendra, in front of the hill where the old chapel was, wearing sunglasses: what’s poppin’ Muriel